morning

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 14 Dec 2025, 7:21, Reply)

Sympathy morning

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 14 Dec 2025, 8:17, Reply)

no real mornings pls

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 14 Dec 2025, 9:31, Reply)

Jamie Oliver talking about "stretching his meat" on Channel 4 now.
What's your signature dish?
(Planearm, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 17:05, Reply)

Spotted Dick
Smothered in Bird's Custard

LOL tard
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 13 Dec 2025, 17:09, Reply)

Calligraphy Cake

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 17:21, Reply)

mine's more of a bowl

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 17:24, Reply)

While the Buddha is supposed to have said many things, I now accept that "get down on it" was not one of them.
Looking into it a bit deeper with my new-found understanding, I can see now that he didn't even write the song ffs.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 17:28, Reply)

Thai green chicken curry

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 18:48, Reply)

munters dickin

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 20:05, Reply)

I don't understand why they stopped calling it chicken cacciatore
Other than pandering to fuckwits
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 23:05, Reply)

I beg your pardon

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 14 Dec 2025, 0:40, Reply)

i never munted you a dickin garden

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 14 Dec 2025, 0:58, Reply)

Everyone should have a dickin garden

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 14 Dec 2025, 1:13, Reply)

Horticockure

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 14 Dec 2025, 1:14, Reply)

Zed's dead, baby

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 15:09, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Greene
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 15:09, Reply)

Fleetwood in-the-muck

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 15:15, Reply)

somebody stopped him

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 15:19, Reply)

No life on Mars

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 13 Dec 2025, 15:18, Reply)

Sair heid :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 13 Dec 2025, 6:44, Reply)

shouldn't have drank so much

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 7:57, Reply)

autocorrect removed my 'shouldnae'
- I blame the English
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 8:42, Reply)

crivens!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 10:40, Reply)

Get back on it you lightweight

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 7:58, Reply)

can you believe this guy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 11:19, Reply)

fagedaboudit

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 12:22, Reply)

I'M WALKIN' QUEER!

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 14:18, Reply)

IT'S MAH FUKAN CAW! I'M FUKAN DRAHVEN HEEA! SORRY NOT FUKAN SORRY!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 17:37, Reply)

go red sox!

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 18:12, Reply)

yep

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 18:22, Reply)

Hitler's less successfulzzzzzz....

( .Yeti., Sat 13 Dec 2025, 7:59, Reply)

HIYA MATE

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 8:34, Reply)

Sore bottom too no doubt

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 8:36, Reply)

I'm in whatsapp group chats fewer shit than this place

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 9:38, Reply)

Fuck off then.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 13 Dec 2025, 9:44, Reply)

rude

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 10:18, Reply)

then it's too good for you fucko

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 12:20, Reply)

Glorious day out there
Although some cunt has put up flags down our street. In the dead of night too, like the proud patriots they are.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 12:21, Reply)

that was me m8 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 12:27, Reply)

It's more like 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
But I'd very much appreciate it if you took them down please. Thx x
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 13:39, Reply)

Sorry, no can do. We’re taking are country back from the forrins

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 13:56, Reply)

"THESE COLORS DON'T RUN"
made in china
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 13 Dec 2025, 14:08, Reply)

4 / 7 You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'
It's our work Christmas lunch and I'm likely to be too tiddly by this afternoon to post the quiz so best to get it out of the way early
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c1j9867wppxo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 10:44, Reply)

3/7 long weekend

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 11:10, Reply)

74% Stanley Baxtered

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 11:22, Reply)

9
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 11:48, Reply)

2/7 Bonnie Blue’s jizzy snatch

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 12:14, Reply)

Now she is a proper wrong un
And that’s coming from me.

Made some good movies though.
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 12:53, Reply)

Isn't she a bit old for you?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 12 Dec 2025, 14:27, Reply)

Oh WAY WAY too old.

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 14:50, Reply)

“Wow,” one user commented. “BEAUTYFUL,” another added.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 13:08, Reply)

same
some toughies this week
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 13:28, Reply)

3/7

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 13:19, Reply)

6/7
*does the stupid jiggly hand gesture*
( .Yeti., Fri 12 Dec 2025, 13:36, Reply)

Joanna BOLLOCKS

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 12 Dec 2025, 14:04, Reply)

and Gareth CUNT

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 15:40, Reply)

2/7, belming spazmo.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 12 Dec 2025, 14:31, Reply)

Hello?

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 17:26, Reply)

3/7, spelming bazmo.

( broadsword, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 17:45, Reply)

3/7 Dead Van Dyke

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 12 Dec 2025, 17:57, Reply)

4/7, as shit as garold

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 19:15, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 12 Dec 2025, 4:51, Reply)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 5:48, Reply)

mornocks

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 7:05, Reply)

You would say that

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 12 Dec 2025, 7:08, Reply)

oh shut up

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 7:55, Reply)

No need m8.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 12 Dec 2025, 8:11, Reply)

Hands. Face. Space.

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 8:16, Reply)

Smelly hands, downsy face, gender-neutral toilets safe space.
Now what?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 12 Dec 2025, 8:19, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8463746
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 8:20, Reply)

Now what? This is JAM HOT. This is JAM HOT.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 12 Dec 2025, 10:37, Reply)

Now what? WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 10:41, Reply)

Glans. Faeces. Species.

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 19:22, Reply)

Morning Smeggars can't be choosers.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 9:03, Reply)

Well nibble the dead skin on my toes
it's Friday!!!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 9:24, Reply)

Brian May not make it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 18:39, Reply)

Deadie Mercury

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 11 Dec 2025, 19:02, Reply)

Rigor 'Mortis' Taylor

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 19:06, Reply)

John Dead one

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 19:07, Reply)

I went to London and now I'm going back again
This isn't a queen pun soz
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 19:10, Reply)

something about another one biting the dust I dunno

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 19:17, Reply)

you're heart's just not in it eh tang

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 20:26, Reply)

Fataaaaaaaaaal Heart Attack

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 21:01, Reply)

Seven Seas of Die

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 21:39, Reply)

Dyin' May

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 22:01, Reply)

Did you forget something?

( mongychops, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 22:17, Reply)

Dre

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 22:42, Reply)

Elizadeath Windsor

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 21:10, Reply)

Victoria Saxe-Coburg-Got'er.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 11 Dec 2025, 21:44, Reply)

K(ill)ing Charles

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 22:47, Reply)

Princess Die

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 12 Dec 2025, 0:58, Reply)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 11 Dec 2025, 16:00, Reply)

Prove it.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 16:01, Reply)

HIYA!

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 16:16, Reply)

pretty much evening

( broadsword, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 17:32, Reply)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Thu 11 Dec 2025, 18:41, Reply)

morning

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 6:42, Reply)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 6:44, Reply)

You would say that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 6:44, Reply)

I did say that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 6:45, Reply)

morning

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 6:45, Reply)

Old English roots: The word comes from the Old English word beallucas, which means "testicles".
Proto-Germanic origin: This word is derived from the Proto-Germanic *ball-, which itself comes from the Proto-Indo-European root *bhel- meaning "to blow, swell".
Neutral term: For a long time, "bollocks" (or "ballocks") was a neutral term for testicles. There is no evidence to suggest it was originally a vulgar word.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 9:43, Reply)

alright queef's grandad

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 9:47, Reply)

*shakes stick angrily.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 11:07, Reply)

bhel puri
bellows
It's from Sanskrit:
भेल / भेला (bhela) — meaning to swell, to puff, to expand
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 13:01, Reply)

are you calling my pint a bhel puri?

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 15:34, Reply)

I've never understood what calling someone's pint a poof is supposed to mean.
Could you explain it to me?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 11 Dec 2025, 16:53, Reply)

I could

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 18:40, Reply)

bhela bhela bhela, tell me more, tell me more

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 17:10, Reply)

Morning

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 6:45, Reply)

bollocks?

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 8:34, Reply)

No sae hard Larry!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 11 Dec 2025, 7:23, Reply)

Suck my balls

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 7:25, Reply)

bollocks!

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 8:34, Reply)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 8:23, Reply)

bollocksning

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 8:40, Reply)

alright

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 8:50, Reply)

Tang

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 9:26, Reply)

Clan

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 9:27, Reply)

what about these trains eh TH you couldn't make it up

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 9:31, Reply)

I likes saying Bogies lol

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 10:11, Reply)

lol

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 19:08, Reply)

Can't believe the Fifa Peace Prize winner
has started a war already. The award means nothing to me now.
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 9:04, Reply)

He must have been tricked into it
It's the only explanation
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 9:26, Reply)

Show some more respect please

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 9:32, Reply)

Yes, it's a Fifa foe scrum...
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 11:21, Reply)

FIFA is now Firing Into Former Allies

( .Yeti., Thu 11 Dec 2025, 14:07, Reply)

Can we just wait and see who gets it next year before we rush to judgement? Also, what is war exactly, if not a noisy kind of peace?
War, what is it good for? Arms sales and property development opportunities, for a start.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 14:09, Reply)

morning

( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 9:17, Reply)

Leg it, someone's shat in the kettle!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 9:44, Reply)

That was me m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 11 Dec 2025, 11:21, Reply)

Alright Smegolas.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 11:22, Reply)

Pompidou?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 14:10, Reply)

Pompidoun't

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 22:43, Reply)

Just ate 16 meatballs and I don't give a shit
LOL balls
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 10 Dec 2025, 21:37, Reply)

You will tomorrow morning, and HOW.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 10 Dec 2025, 21:47, Reply)

Gas yourself.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 10 Dec 2025, 22:11, Reply)

were they swedish? not at all, they were savory.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 22:56, Reply)

-do
+ca
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 11 Dec 2025, 6:42, Reply)

early evening

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 10 Dec 2025, 17:27, Reply)

uh-huh

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 18:12, Reply)

when do we call it late evening?
- or night, even?
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 21:28, Reply)

I’m not an expert
but I think it’s night now.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 23:30, Reply)

correct

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 23:40, Reply)

HIYA!

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 21:02, Reply)

Piss off spanishfly

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 10 Dec 2025, 21:12, Reply)

Alright best mate

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 21:15, Reply)

AFTERNOON!

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 12:45, Reply)

Is it tho

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 10 Dec 2025, 13:20, Reply)

It bloody well is right here
- and that's all that matters
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 13:24, Reply)

afternoon is like a contagious rash that creeps across the planet, congratulations on your recent infection

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 13:28, Reply)

Was this really worthy of caps lock and an exclamation mark?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 13:30, Reply)

yes. it's a warning
alt: YES!
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 13:36, Reply)

SHIT!

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 13:39, Reply)

RIGHT?!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 14:08, Reply)

NO WAI !!!!!

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 14:26, Reply)

sorry, i always shout when i climax

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 14:31, Reply)

-shout when i climax +overshare

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 15:34, Reply)

Beaker

( mongychops, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 15:50, Reply)

I'll cap your slock in a minute, Sonny Jim.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 10 Dec 2025, 18:10, Reply)

YES!!!!!!!!!!!
TAKE THAT LIBS!!!!
( $$ ✅, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 14:26, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 10 Dec 2025, 6:32, Reply)

morning

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 7:06, Reply)

Hi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 10 Dec 2025, 7:39, Reply)

almost there...

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 11:58, Reply)

oh god yes!
b3ta.com/talk/8463788
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 12:46, Reply)

Morning.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 7:36, Reply)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 10 Dec 2025, 7:40, Reply)

Yes

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 8:25, Reply)

Hi. Humpday...

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 8:31, Reply)

disgusting

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 11:12, Reply)

Morning
Still no sign of a polar vortex.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 9:06, Reply)

Alright ocsp you weirdo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 10 Dec 2025, 9:50, Reply)

Alright Smegosaurus.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 11:38, Reply)

Don't wait for the polar vortex to come to you. Seize the day, get out there and make your own polar vortex!

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 10:11, Reply)

Carpe Wintryem.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 11:34, Reply)

Are you looking in the right place?

( mongychops, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 10:14, Reply)

The internet
keeps sending me messages about some kind of wintry armageddon but it never appears. There was rain, but no yetis. Very underwhelming.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 11:31, Reply)

Prepare to be whelmed.

( .Yeti., Wed 10 Dec 2025, 11:44, Reply)

So thoroughly whelmed
I immediately belmed.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 10 Dec 2025, 12:18, Reply)

^ Nightmare on Belm Street

( .Yeti., Wed 10 Dec 2025, 15:50, Reply)

Alright everyone.
There's a rat in my attic, what amma gonna doo?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:23, Reply)

Alright ocsp you weirdo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:30, Reply)

Alright Doz.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:44, Reply)

well, you've got a few options

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:34, Reply)

I'm not allowed to kill it, and the thing that's supposed to make a noise to piss it off is fucking useless.

Actually, saying that, I don't really want to kill it, I just want it to stop shitting in the insulation.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:46, Reply)

humane trap then

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:19, Reply)

Can you not read? It’s a rat not a humane.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:35, Reply)

that was me m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:37, Reply)

fix dat rat

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 18:07, Reply)

Give it a colostomy

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 19:51, Reply)

Triggered

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 20:42, Reply)

I liked the way you worked it, no diggety
You had to bag it up

No offence love
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 21:50, Reply)

❤️

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 22:11, Reply)

I once had a shit while walking around B&Q
Which I consider a win
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 22:53, Reply)

>I'm not allowed to kill it
you are going to have sooo many rats
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 23:15, Reply)

Shit yourself inside out

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:34, Reply)

How will that help?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:45, Reply)

it'll certainly make the rat issue less pressing

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:20, Reply)

I’m not sure that it will. I just have a hunch.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:42, Reply)

I think you're onto something here m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 19:04, Reply)

REMzzz

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:15, Reply)

gaz mongychops, he knows about that sort of thing

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:35, Reply)

Standard.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:48, Reply)

Borrow a cat, lock it in your attic for 3 days.
Cheers.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:53, Reply)

I've got 3 cats but they're all fat pussies.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:58, Reply)

That's why you need to borrow one and starve it.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:30, Reply)

call ICE

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:16, Reply)

Pump it full of cum

( $$ ✅, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:19, Reply)

yes!

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 19:37, Reply)

Finally, a sensible solution

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 20:42, Reply)

sadly not the cure-all I'd hoped for, it was no good at all on the wasps' nest i tried it on

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 21:47, Reply)

This you?
share.google/mq5AtFZlMJR6lpuXe
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 23:07, Reply)

in my attic, what amma gonna doo? up my bunghole, ARMAGEDDON
( broadsword, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:36, Reply)

BERNARD MANNING

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:43, Reply)

Tempt it down with some red, red wine.

( .Yeti., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 18:20, Reply)

Tickle it's soft vulnerable underbelly
Then eat it
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 9 Dec 2025, 23:10, Reply)

afternoon

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:10, Reply)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:26, Reply)

You would say that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:33, Reply)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:33, Reply)

you would say that

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 13:51, Reply)

I did say that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 15:18, Reply)

You would say that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:34, Reply)

You keep your bread in the fridge.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:51, Reply)

doo dah doo dah

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 14:06, Reply)

You buy brown bread in a can. You buy a 12-pack.
bumbeans
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:32, Reply)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 15:18, Reply)

Alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:34, Reply)

Bollocks

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:49, Reply)

You would say that

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:51, Reply)

he did say that

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 14:52, Reply)

Alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 15:19, Reply)

alright

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:57, Reply)

already
bummer
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 13:15, Reply)

Be dark soon

( mongychops, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 15:02, Reply)

it was -10c here this morning :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 15:18, Reply)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 15:19, Reply)

retracted :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:21, Reply)

I bet you don't like reggae either

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 15:46, Reply)

frowny face :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:38, Reply)

I'm well up for it

( $$ ✅, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 15:49, Reply)