morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 2 Aug 2025, 6:24, Reply)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 2 Aug 2025, 6:37, Reply)

Cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 2 Aug 2025, 7:23, Reply)

headache, jointsache, throatache, intense fever all night.
and of course i promised to help a mate raise and slab his patio today. 1 meter slabs lol. and about 90 of them. fml. can't let him down tho
( MiseryCunt, Sat 2 Aug 2025, 7:56, Reply)

Doing a shit job and/or fucking it up because you're unwell *is* letting him down
you fucking stupid fucking cunt
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 2 Aug 2025, 8:29, Reply)

fuck you

( MiseryCunt, Sat 2 Aug 2025, 8:30, Reply)

No fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 2 Aug 2025, 8:38, Reply)

Blayzit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:20, Reply)

No chance
I'm off to work
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:24, Reply)

Me neither tbh
I'm working at Kings Cross
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:25, Reply)

Haha ur a prossie m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:25, Reply)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:26, Reply)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:32, Reply)

^on the game

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:26, Reply)

King's Cross is properly dodgy

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 18:05, Reply)

We've got a King's Cross here, it's alright.
Cobbled Street, hospital, small industrial estate with a very reasonable car mechanic. Really makes you think, eh
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 18:43, Reply)

Kings Cross in London is so dodgy
That I had to hit up Gonz for a sofa to sleep on for the night
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 21:04, Reply)

Tbh, he really came to my rescue
Told me where to get the train to, picked me up from the station, made sure I had a good meal, let me sleep in peace, woke me up with plenty of time to get to my appointment and gave me an easier and quicker way to get there. I would have been fucked without him.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 21:11, Reply)

Quite a lot of people on here over the years have managed the interesting combination of being absolutely sound people and massive belming spastics at the same time.
Makes you think.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 21:16, Reply)

Yeah, I've never met gonz but I'm sure he's one of life's good people.
Conversely I've met some folk who came across fine on here, but were monumental fucking pricks IRL. Most people who seemed nice were actually nice though, in my limited experience.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 21:28, Reply)

He's an innocent soul, just clueless

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 22:04, Reply)

he hides it well

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 22:08, Reply)

hi

( vladimir, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 23:05, Reply)

This made me think
www.gmc-uk.org/registrants/7419768
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 23:03, Reply)

I need to put a new cloth on my pool table.
Baize it.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:35, Reply)

I need a long reclining chair
Chaise it
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:38, Reply)

If you were wondering what the 11th letter of the alphabet was...

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:40, Reply)

I’m not feeling that great
Malaise it
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:43, Reply)

An anniversary for joining 🎈

( mongychops, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 17:01, Reply)

HAPPY B3TADAY CHEERS!!!

( vladimir, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 23:09, Reply)

It was all a dream

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 2 Aug 2025, 1:52, Reply)

Proper,

( mongychops, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 17:01, Reply)

init bruv

( theniwokeup has been awake since, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 19:48, Reply)

FUCK YEAH FRIDAY

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 22:15, Reply)

Spunk clogged handset thread

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:44, Reply)

Samspunk

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:45, Reply)

James Spunk-Handset

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:46, Reply)

Sony Eric's cum

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:46, Reply)

'Orbot' sounds like off-brand chewing gum.

( .Yeti., Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:48, Reply)

or a dyslexic robot

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 11:13, Reply)

or "bot"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:04, Reply)

Japple iPhone

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 11:01, Reply)

h... h... h... h... HUAWEI!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 11:16, Reply)

6/7 got the football one wrong even though I watched it

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 11:21, Reply)

JISMSTORM

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 11:44, Reply)

GEOSPUNK

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:28, Reply)

GUNTSPUNK

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:32, Reply)

Do you feel gunts, punk? Well, do you?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:45, Reply)

Semen Khaidenko

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 11:57, Reply)

Siemens C35i WAP

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:07, Reply)

Motorola Spunctrac

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:12, Reply)

🐢🔌

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:15, Reply)

tortoise plug

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:38, Reply)

Albuquerque

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:42, Reply)

Anus Zenfone

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:22, Reply)

If your account were a girl, it would already be too old for Hexachordal.
/ac
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:32, Reply)

CumPlus One

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:23, Reply)

alright Nick Heywood

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:27, Reply)

lol wood

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 12:30, Reply)

James sub-Prime

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 13:26, Reply)

WHAT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 1 Aug 2025, 14:04, Reply)

You heard

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 14:28, Reply)

Too far mate.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 1 Aug 2025, 14:32, Reply)

Happy Yorkshire Day, mate!

( $$ ✅, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 14:46, Reply)

It's actually been taken over
by the Swiss
(8to12WeeksinScottishRegion Listening to Fur Q - Uzi Lover, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 14:56, Reply)

Ay up

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:09, Reply)

Spapple

(8to12WeeksinScottishRegion Listening to Fur Q - Uzi Lover, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 14:54, Reply)

Cockia Cumunicator

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 16:06, Reply)

Candle morning

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 6:49, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 1 Aug 2025, 6:58, Reply)

Morning cheers merry candles

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 7:16, Reply)

Hey, leave some candles for the rest of us
Morning
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 7:32, Reply)

Alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 7:50, Reply)

You've finally become a man!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 8:17, Reply)

Tricky operation

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 8:27, Reply)

Happy candles, young’un.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 8:28, Reply)

I've started using orbot so I can still watch porn on my phone
and just now, every time I logged onto b3ta I got redirected to a tweet by rob manuel about blocking russian IP addresses
rebooted the vpn and I'm back
I also can't watch youtube so had to download newpipe but these are minor inconveniences - so far


sorry, I mean: shit off, fuckface
(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 8:35, Reply)

I don't want to know about your spunk clogged handset
this is a violation of my rights.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:31, Reply)

but it took ages to make these shoes out of dried semen!

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:34, Reply)

I don't want to know about Right about now,
this is a violation of my rights. Check it out now, your spunk clogged handset
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:34, Reply)

Cheers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 8:37, Reply)

Happy cardles
And mongning
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 9:08, Reply)

And a merry candlemas to you!

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:00, Reply)

Congrats/commiserations

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:32, Reply)

!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 15:58, Reply)

If my Dr was called Dr snuggles I wouldn't go.

( mongychops, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 0:00, Reply)

Cheers, totally changing my name to that

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 0:21, Reply)

there's already someone called Cheers

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 1:05, Reply)

His name is George Went

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 2:01, Reply)

hey mofaha, remember years ago "jumpy orange shapes" was jokily suggested as an image challenge and the stupid cunts actually did it?
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/jeffrey-epstein-jail-video-death-mystery-b2799648.html
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 6:41, Reply)

Cheers sub-Prime

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 6:49, Reply)

How about one of these?
www.gmc-uk.org/registrants?text=de%27ath&allProfessions=true
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 6:38, Reply)

Lol
www.gmc-uk.org/registrants/7968656
www.gmc-uk.org/registrants/6057541
(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 9:52, Reply)

www.pharmacyregulation.org/registers/pharmacist/2036113
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 9:57, Reply)

Lol
Accidentally went out to the waiting room just now and called for Amina Butt instead of the next patient.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 10:08, Reply)

lol ur so random rofl

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 11:59, Reply)

- snuggles
+ shipman
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 1 Aug 2025, 7:12, Reply)

*guffs*
Hullo
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 17:26, Reply)

Allgone Ahlberg

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 17:43, Reply)

no real names plz

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 17:49, Reply)

Stiff Richard

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 31 Jul 2025, 18:26, Reply)

Jimmy Doornail

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 31 Jul 2025, 18:26, Reply)

Mortissey

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 23:50, Reply)

RIP Astley

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 23:50, Reply)

Simon Le Gone

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 23:52, Reply)

Mortis Harket

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 0:01, Reply)

Daniel Deadinfield

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 0:04, Reply)

Grave Matthews

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 1 Aug 2025, 0:04, Reply)

Yo

( mongychops, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 18:57, Reply)

Sup

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 19:14, Reply)

Still a bit of a wrist spazz here. Fucking boring. 8 weeks now. Stupid fucking meat packed skeleton.

( mongychops, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 20:08, Reply)

travel insurance
for medical stuff i mean
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 20:48, Reply)

I hear you man
My fliddy feet/ankles get inspected a week tomorrow. I could have professional issues here ffs
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 20:53, Reply)

oh give it a wrist m8

( MiseryCunt, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 21:36, Reply)

b3ta, you mean.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 22:22, Reply)

Think I've just offended my family on the whatsapp. My sister posted a picture of Elton John special edition marmite and asked what the connection is.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 19:08, Reply)

They're both well-loved UK exports known around the world for being rather salty.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 31 Jul 2025, 19:13, Reply)

Lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 19:14, Reply)

Saturday Night’s Alright For Spreading

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 20:38, Reply)

Hold umami closer, tiny dancer

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 21:04, Reply)

oh vg

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 21:25, Reply)

tyvm

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 21:29, Reply)

gfyfeg

( MiseryCunt, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 21:37, Reply)

grateful for you flipping excellent guys?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 22:27, Reply)

got it in one

( MiseryCunt, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 22:54, Reply)

giio

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 23:09, Reply)

Oh, it's real. I had no idea.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 20:47, Reply)

It’s to celebrate his new yeast infection.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 20:59, Reply)

It's the yeast they could do

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 21:02, Reply)

Yeasterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
🥷🏻
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 21:04, Reply)

It's for fight AIDS, apparently.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 31 Jul 2025, 21:44, Reply)

A noble cause, although a more effective way to fight AIDS would be to just stop having so much gay bum sex.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 22:51, Reply)

look everyone it's The Eighties!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 23:11, Reply)

Ooh, the bitch is back

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 21:16, Reply)

The top two posts on the populolz page right are quite amusing together right now.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 31 Jul 2025, 15:15, Reply)

That makes a nice change.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 15:16, Reply)

bit narcissistic, m8

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 15:53, Reply)

nastydicksick

( MiseryCunt, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 18:03, Reply)

Don't amuse me

( mongychops, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 15:59, Reply)

I shall endeavour not to.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 31 Jul 2025, 18:07, Reply)

are you sure?

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 16:21, Reply)

He's positive!
Haha, like AIDS lol
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 17:54, Reply)

Nothing but the finest African bum-Aids, I trust.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 31 Jul 2025, 18:27, Reply)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 31 Jul 2025, 16:28, Reply)

Afternoon

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:05, Reply)

bollocks

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:13, Reply)

Many of them

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 13:02, Reply)

You could call it that, yes.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:17, Reply)

This reply is sponsored by NordVPN

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:19, Reply)

Every moment since the first noon has been afternoon

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:21, Reply)

afterthatnoon

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:26, Reply)

could it *be* any more afternoon?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:49, Reply)

"the one where Chandler takes a load of ketamine in the hot tub"

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:53, Reply)

www.imdb.com/title/tt0583515/

/glasscock
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:59, Reply)

I know Ocarina of Time is meant to be one of the best video games ever, but fuck me the controls and camera are well shit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 31 Jul 2025, 13:35, Reply)

shut up you stupid prick

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 14:05, Reply)

What is it with games that don't let you remap their controls?
Press Z to move forwards, L to move backwards and CTRL+7+F12 to cast a spell.
( .Yeti., Thu 31 Jul 2025, 14:18, Reply)

I come here for all my 27 year-old video game reviews

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 14:51, Reply)

lol nerd

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 15:10, Reply)

wee-wee

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 13:50, Reply)

I'm going to France next week

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 14:18, Reply)

Im going to Italy tomorrow

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 14:21, Reply)

jel

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 14:24, Reply)

I hope you get nonced up by the pope

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 14:27, Reply)

I hope some kid burns your neck

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 14:21, Reply)

Afternoon

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 14:01, Reply)

*looks around*
morning
( MiseryCunt, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 7:11, Reply)

morning

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( Cheers Cheers, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 7:17, Reply)

someone left my cake out in the rain

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 11:57, Reply)

I'll never have that recipe again

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:07, Reply)

no it's fine i got it off the internet

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 23:40, Reply)

ey up

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 8:38, Reply)

I had wondered why the sky had changed colour again
Seems to happen with some regularity.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 8:38, Reply)

That will be the periodic emissions and dissipation of volcanic fumes,
as demonstrated beyond all doubt by the polymath, de Selby.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 31 Jul 2025, 9:04, Reply)

parrots can't count hth

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 11:58, Reply)

crows can though

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:08, Reply)

choughs can throw

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:16, Reply)

I got properly soaked on the way into work
it was very wet out there.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 8:55, Reply)

Disgusting

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 11:28, Reply)

Morning, gosh, Thursday eh?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 10:41, Reply)

U cudnt make it up m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 10:51, Reply)

Yeah, you do look kind of round.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 11:01, Reply)

afternoon dilbaro

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:55, Reply)

Paul Mario DEAD

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:56, Reply)

Dyin’ Maiden

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:58, Reply)

Bring your ex-lead singer to the slaughter

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:58, Reply)

Iron Maiden are fucking shit anyway

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:59, Reply)

I'm starting to see why people say all those things about you.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:01, Reply)

Correct.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:04, Reply)

69 dude!!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:00, Reply)

Sylvia Forever Young

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:01, Reply)

Mamma miaaaaaaaa! He's a-dead

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:03, Reply)

'Mamma mia' means 'mum I'm here' in Geordie.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:05, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8454178
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:16, Reply)

alright wossername who was married to that other comedian

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 17:47, Reply)

Dawn French?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 18:19, Reply)

Should imagine so, yeah

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 18:32, Reply)

Phwoar

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 19:24, Reply)

Jonathan?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 9:48, Reply)

no real names please

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Thu 31 Jul 2025, 12:34, Reply)

Paul Mario Away

( $$ ✅, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:23, Reply)

Sylvia NOT YOUNG ANY MORE

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:01, Reply)

I prefer my one

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:01, Reply)

You would say that

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:05, Reply)

Bollocks

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:06, Reply)

Not you.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 15:04, Reply)

m o r n i n g

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 6:52, Reply)

y o

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:11, Reply)

mr bricks

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:23, Reply)

oh I like that

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:45, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:22, Reply)

smegggg

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:23, Reply)

Happy birthday Justin Lee Collins!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:34, Reply)

Surely it's about time for Channel 4 to commission Bring Back... Justin Lee Collins.
Dunno who they'd get to host it though, if he did it it'd be a bit meta.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:29, Reply)

'Bring back domestic violence and coercive control'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:39, Reply)

good toimes

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:52, Reply)

Lee Hurst
we've not seen him in ages and he seems to have turned into a bitter social media racist now so it'd be great to have him back too.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:28, Reply)

What's his b3ta username?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:56, Reply)

Huw Edwards

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:08, Reply)

Tony 'butterknife' Hayers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:14, Reply)

all of them

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:45, Reply)

pasanonic

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:38, Reply)

-rac +fantas

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:07, Reply)

It was a simpler time, when someone could just say they were a millionaire and everyone believed them.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:15, Reply)

only if they had a picture of themselves on a yacht

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:44, Reply)

Wait a minute, I've got one of those!
Feel my wads.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:58, Reply)

He genuinely did post a screenshot of his ignore list on /board, he also got goaded by gronkpan into saying he would get a flight to Australia to beat him up

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:22, Reply)

He's reverse Russell Crowe

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:53, Reply)

Reverse Russell Crowe is Russell Eworc, little furry bastard

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 16:27, Reply)

Yeah, or post anecdotes about having sex with their underage cousins and everyone would call them a paedo.
Nowadays they have to provide their sentencing documents or prove their name is on the sex offenders register / Epstein flight logs or nobody believes them.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:26, Reply)

Russell Brand
They're both long-haired twattish sex pests.
( .Yeti., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:32, Reply)

Turtle power!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:09, Reply)

^ My turtley wurtle +

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:41, Reply)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:04, Reply)

smash

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:30, Reply)

morning

(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:27, Reply)

Shit off.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:40, Reply)

fly

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:30, Reply)

alright

(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:39, Reply)

Good morning

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:37, Reply)

The goodest

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:31, Reply)

Good/bad/indifferent* morning to you.
*delete as appropriate
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:42, Reply)

meh,ning

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:31, Reply)

That there tsunami looks a bit scary

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:30, Reply)

Don't look at it then.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:04, Reply)

*waves*

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:31, Reply)

h u l l o

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:35, Reply)

q’’’’’uee’’f

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:32, Reply)

h i

( $$ ✅, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:38, Reply)

afternoon

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:43, Reply)

l a t e a g a i n

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:44, Reply)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:43, Reply)

[YOU MUST VERIFY YOUR AGE AND IDENTITY TO VIEW THIS POST]
█████ ██ ██████ ███ ██ █ █████ ████ ████
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██ ███ ████ ███████ ██ ████ ███
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 22:52, Reply)

This went well.

( mongychops, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 1:50, Reply)

/chat preview
Update coming soon.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:13, Reply)

I'm using orbot
so I can read it fine
(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 5:57, Reply)

sorry I don't speak ongo bongo

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:45, Reply)

klaxon time

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 12:01, Reply)

I SAID SORRY OK

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 12:22, Reply)

goodnight

( MiseryCunt, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 22:22, Reply)

Are you intending to go to bed, then have a shower, and then go to bed again?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jul 2025, 22:37, Reply)

not sure i've got the energy

( MiseryCunt, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 23:51, Reply)

yes
Bedways is bestways now
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 22:38, Reply)

agree

( MiseryCunt, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 23:51, Reply)

Pushing that prick down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:55, Reply)

James sub-Prime

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:08, Reply)

It's pricks all the way down.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:09, Reply)

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⠀⠻⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⡟⠁
⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠿⠛⠻⢿⣿⣶⣾⣿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀
( .Yeti., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:16, Reply)

Delete this please, family friendly forum

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:21, Reply)

How do you think people usually start families?
It all begins with an erect willy.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:29, Reply)

Ah, but which came first - the willy or the egg?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:29, Reply)

The Oliver Twins' X-Rated Dizzy

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:54, Reply)

sm+

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 18:09, Reply)

Egg innit

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 20:27, Reply)

This forum is neither a family nor friendly.

( .Yeti., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:31, Reply)

We have a right laugh here don't we

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:36, Reply)

no

( .Yeti., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:42, Reply)

so a bit like a family then

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 16:18, Reply)

Fair

( .Yeti., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 16:25, Reply)

Kairat 3 nil up

( mongychops, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 16:50, Reply)

YES!
they're going all the way this year
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 17:19, Reply)

It's also a message board, not a forum.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jul 2025, 18:05, Reply)

GREAT MESSAGEBOARD BANTER

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 18:42, Reply)

Alright Rob from years ago calm down

( mongychops, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 19:29, Reply)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jul 2025, 20:12, Reply)

3ppb

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:29, Reply)

Ben Obese-Jecty

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 20:04, Reply)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 13:40, Reply)

Motion denied!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 13:46, Reply)

Deny THIS!
*points at crotch*
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 13:46, Reply)

This gives me a great idea for a laxative advert.
Judge Constipation bangs his gavel on the plug of compacted faeces trying to emerge from a bumhole and yells "motion denied". Then a laxative suppository dives in, screaming "deny this!" and the shit erupts like a volcano into Judge Constipation's face.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:20, Reply)

Keep going, I'm nearly there

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:31, Reply)

Judge Conspitation stutters "m-m-m-motion carried", lumps of hard shit spitting from his mouth
and then the brand name of the suppositories comes up on the screen with the slogan "Constipated? We'll be the judge."
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:37, Reply)

I presume the guy who played J.R. Hartley is dead, he'd have been perfect casting though.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:39, Reply)

Please let it be James Corden

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:45, Reply)

Or James Sub-Prime

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:52, Reply)

I've got some bad news about him.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:55, Reply)

No, he's lined up for the pessary advert

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:53, Reply)

BECAUSE HE'S A CUNT

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 16:31, Reply)

It is an' all!
No flies on you, etc
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 13:58, Reply)