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morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 9 Oct 2025, 5:47, Reply)
ningmorn

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 6:43, Reply)
James Sub-Prime

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:19, Reply)
James sub-Prime

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:23, Reply)
James sub-Prime

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:25, Reply)
^ Sub-prime James sub-Prime.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:34, Reply)
James Spunk-Handset
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:39, Reply)
well if you're saying that...

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:41, Reply)
George Went

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:41, Reply)
james sub-bond 00prime number

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:42, Reply)
"calculated not eshtimated"

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:47, Reply)
James sub-George

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:42, Reply)
George sub-Went

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:43, Reply)
Went James-Sub

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:43, Reply)
Prime sub-Jameswent George

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:46, Reply)
Real gone kid.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:57, Reply)
Gaymes Chub-Crime more like

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 21:24, Reply)
Too far mate.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 21:41, Reply)
James sub-price
Though my hairdressers charged £18 for a cut. I misheard, it was £8.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 21:41, Reply)
AFTERNOON HOT CANADA SHITPIPE ACTION

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 12:25, Reply)
sniff my shitpipe, please

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 12:43, Reply)
This is life

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:26, Reply)
i really don't want to but you said please

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:30, Reply)
Thank you

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 14:04, Reply)
o canada

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 12:49, Reply)
I'm watching a webinar for work called "[topic] made easier "
- and so of course, it's the most bizarrely complication-loaded death by PowerPoint.
I feel less informed than when I started.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 18:38, Reply)
Mark Carnal

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 12:54, Reply)
-C -r

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 15:56, Reply)
Mak

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 16:14, Reply)
Rhythm of the Schutzstaffel

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 16:05, Reply)
What's this aboooty?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 14:04, Reply)
YOU’RE NOT MY BUDDY, GUY

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 15:10, Reply)

"Yes I am!"

*Eastenders doof doof*
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 15:15, Reply)
Buddy Die

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 15:22, Reply)
Deaddie Die

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 15:27, Reply)
Sorry I don't speak scouse

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 15:35, Reply)
Afternoon anal antics

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 15:16, Reply)
Oi Oi!

(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 16:09, Reply)
Fuck off spanishfly

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 16:39, Reply)
I hope Mick Philpott dies soon.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 16:39, Reply)
Mick Philpopt his clogs

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 17:09, Reply)
Fingers crossed.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 17:24, Reply)
the bloke off of Time Team?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 18:04, Reply)
Simply Dead

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 18:05, Reply)
Simply Read The Last Rites

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:50, Reply)
Mick Fleetwoodenbox

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 18:35, Reply)
Fleetwood Lack

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 18:35, Reply)
Yeti’s gonna love this sub thread

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 18:38, Reply)
B3ta still hasn't completely recovered from its four years of modless spackerdom.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:28, Reply)
b3ta is in a constant state of change, you know, like a putrefying corpse

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 20:37, Reply)
Samantha Fucks Off

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 18:45, Reply)
That one worked a lot better in my head, sorry guys :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 18:47, Reply)
expression of the day: catty-corner

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 19:50, Reply)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 6:52, Reply)
Dolly Parted
Just getting in early to avoid the rush
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 6:55, Reply)
I'm begging of you, please don't take my life

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 7:13, Reply)
Dolly Passed on

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 8:39, Reply)
Dolly Partoff

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:03, Reply)
Deadie Parton

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:41, Reply)
This trend of posting death notices for people who haven't died yet is fucking spasticated, I tell you hwat.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:24, Reply)
Huw Deadwards

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:28, Reply)
Bill dead b-Oddie

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:35, Reply)
Kemi Hadenough

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:40, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:43, Reply)
Not Yeti

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:46, Reply)
Iggy Popped his clogs

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:54, Reply)
Carl Corpse

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:54, Reply)
Johnny Rotting

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:55, Reply)
Cadaveril Lavigne

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:55, Reply)
Avril Not Lavigne

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 10:02, Reply)
Christina AAAAAARGHuilera

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 10:09, Reply)
lols

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 10:16, Reply)
Jeremy ClarksOFF

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 10:16, Reply)
Carkson, surely?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Oct 2025, 10:21, Reply)
Carksoff, and that's final

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:40, Reply)
Spongebob Squarebox

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:38, Reply)
lol sorry .yeti., not really

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:46, Reply)
she's currently only Dolly Part-gone

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 11:26, Reply)
D. Parted.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 12:03, Reply)
Dolly Departed, we are gathered here....

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:41, Reply)
DOAlene, DOAlene, DOAlene, DOA-leeeeene

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:31, Reply)
+
b3ta.com/talk/8458638
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:45, Reply)
She's going to pull through, thanks to everyone's prayers.
Sounds like the Grim Reaper has given her a Dolly DePARDON!!!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:46, Reply)
morninging

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 7:22, Reply)
Invizzo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 8 Oct 2025, 7:25, Reply)
Please keep your fake Lizzo death notice in the appropriate sub-thread, thanks

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 10:26, Reply)
/skinflute

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 12:24, Reply)

morn fist
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:04, Reply)
Shitpipe Tuesday
stick it up your bumhole and sing a happy song.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:13, Reply)
It's Wednesday.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 9:45, Reply)
shitpipe wednesday

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 10:32, Reply)
Happy Shitpipe Wednesday, MiseryCunt!

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 10:53, Reply)
Fucking hell
what happened to Tuesday?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 11:08, Reply)
Honestly it was pretty underwhelming, you didn't miss much.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 11:15, Reply)
Oh my god
Don't tell me I wrote letters to people. Fuck.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 11:23, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:42, Reply)
Happy International Lesbian Day!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 10:04, Reply)
The traditional gifts are scissors and velcro

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 13:43, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 8 Oct 2025, 14:52, Reply)
I have to write a couple of letters. For reasons.
I have had a look in the old statonery box and dug out a 30 year old Basildon Bond pad that has a built-in blotter.

What moribund thing have you had to resort to recently?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 14:31, Reply)
Posting on b3ta

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Oct 2025, 14:40, Reply)
My older pair of Adidas ZX750s
Work shoes innit
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 14:53, Reply)
That's a Spectrum m8

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 15:02, Reply)
no wonder they're so uncomfortable

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 16:06, Reply)
^ on the spectrum

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 16:09, Reply)
We were so young
b3ta.com/talk/7901761
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 19:59, Reply)
when?
i was 41 you fucking prick
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 20:01, Reply)
He ain't all there

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 20:16, Reply)
Everybody Loves The Sound Of A Train In The Distance

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 22:12, Reply)
Doing this
*does this*
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 15:38, Reply)
:-0

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 7 Oct 2025, 18:09, Reply)
your nan

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 15:51, Reply)
Going round all the local hairdressers on foot
To try and get a haircut that isn't ridiculously priced and in 3 weeks time.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 16:51, Reply)
I have paid for two haircuts in my entire life
You can tell tho
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 17:01, Reply)
you look fabulous

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 17:41, Reply)
I'm tired of having to get the knots out in the morning
So I've booked for 1pm tomorrow to get a bob.I know the hairdresser and she's only charging me £18, unlike the other cunts who wanted more than £40.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 18:04, Reply)
Terrible bullying of JMG

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 17:41, Reply)
æ
is that one or two?
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 17:08, Reply)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 18:09, Reply)
i knew it

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 18:51, Reply)
I had to write a letter over the summer for admin reasons
and it had been so long since I'd written anything by hand that my hand started cramping up like a mutha.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 7 Oct 2025, 17:11, Reply)
it's a dying art

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 17:37, Reply)
b3ta, you mean

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 17:41, Reply)
I'm chucking away 70 years off life. 1950s records with my mum's name on them. Parties I assume. Gonna get the oil rain lamp working

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 20:15, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 20:47, Reply)
Oil lamps are cool

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 21:19, Reply)
Alright Arseboon Dilbaros

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 10:35, Reply)
AI-Nazi is fun, but don't let it cheapen the work of talented fascists.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 10:55, Reply)
'Nazi' Al Yankovich

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 7 Oct 2025, 11:43, Reply)
Weird Badir

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 11:52, Reply)
You can call me Nazi

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:00, Reply)
Oh man, if Paul Simon ever uploads his consciousness we can call him AI

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:03, Reply)
Still Nazi After All These Years

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:10, Reply)
Deutschland

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:11, Reply)
Diamonds on the Soles of Her Jews
etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:11, Reply)
Me and Adolf Down By The Schoolyard

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:17, Reply)
America

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:19, Reply)
The Sound of SILENCE!!!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:20, Reply)
Bridge over Troubled Rheinland

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:20, Reply)
Deutschland über Troubled Alles

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:21, Reply)
The Boy in the Gas Chamber

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:23, Reply)
Paranoia Jews

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:32, Reply)
Heaven Know I'm Messerschmitt Now
A couple of Phil Collins ones

SSudio
Something Happened On The Way To Himler
She's An Eichmann Lover
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:43, Reply)
Hitler With Your Rhythm Stick

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:47, Reply)
Wow, I never knew Paul Simon wrote all those

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:59, Reply)
You Can Call Me Phil

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 13:01, Reply)
Oh, they're Paul Simon songs?
Are You Going To Scarborough, Fuher?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 13:20, Reply)
20 Ways To Lieb Your Luger

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 13:23, Reply)
Bridge Over Troubled Waffen

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 13:24, Reply)
Bright eyes, burning like books

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 16:10, Reply)
Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Zyklon B

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 16:34, Reply)
Bollocks to your candles yeah

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:21, Reply)
arseboon dilbaro

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Oct 2025, 11:56, Reply)
Semen Khaidanko

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:21, Reply)
not bad, cheers
u?
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 11:58, Reply)
Alright dollar dollar

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:21, Reply)
Fuck you, mr horrible, fuck you

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Oct 2025, 13:18, Reply)
Delurk
:)
(notsoup, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 9:05, Reply)
Not you

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Oct 2025, 9:28, Reply)
delurking on Vladimir Putin's birthday
interesting
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 9:32, Reply)
Knowing it's Putin's birthday
SUS
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 9:53, Reply)
Saying SUS
Concerning
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 10:12, Reply)
Might confiscate one of your hats.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 12:38, Reply)
SUS - Software Update Service
Bill Gates confirmed
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 10:13, Reply)
Shitty Undercrackers Soiled
Queef Richards confirmed
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 10:16, Reply)
Just want to let you know that I'm on to you
alright?
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 10:28, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 2:57, Reply)
Yes, but look!
- Queef's on fire 🔥
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 6:34, Reply)
He’s so hot right now

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 7:23, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 7:31, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Oct 2025, 8:27, Reply)
Hi prick's

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 16:31, Reply)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Oct 2025, 17:06, Reply)
Y

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 17:29, Reply)
Hi

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 17:15, Reply)
Wha'gwan

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 17:29, Reply)
Hello fanny

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 18:42, Reply)
Hello Titty

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 18:44, Reply)
Hi skinflute

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 19:15, Reply) 

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(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 19:21, Reply)
Looks like bumtits.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 6 Oct 2025, 19:23, Reply)
no u r

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 19:25, Reply)
This actually made me laugh

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 19:33, Reply)
my bumtits are actually much nicer in real life

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 19:35, Reply)
touch + <s>are actually much nicer in real</s> + this is

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 19:37, Reply)
My tits are a fucking nightmare

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 20:08, Reply)
The Tit and the Pendulum

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 22:08, Reply)

a fucking nightmare red and have podka dots on
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 22:41, Reply)

are actually much nicer in real life bring all the boys to the yard
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 6 Oct 2025, 22:02, Reply)
Greene king have left the promotion right open again. I've had ribs and 7 pints today for nothing. They say the Chinese are better? Lol

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 19:49, Reply)
Anyone can be taken advantage of
And if you can, do.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 20:09, Reply)
Nice work

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Oct 2025, 20:22, Reply)
Jilly Cadaver

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Oct 2025, 10:51, Reply)
Jilly Copped-it

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 10:55, Reply)
my father had lunch with her once
you couldn't make it up
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 11:05, Reply)
Ralph Ineson came and gave my upper 6th English class a talk about being an actor.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Oct 2025, 11:25, Reply)
...this was pre-Finchy fame

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Oct 2025, 11:27, Reply)
My dad had lunch with Charlton Heston once.
There, I made that up.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 6 Oct 2025, 11:35, Reply)
Did he have to pay?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:29, Reply)
CHARLTON HESTON HAD A TOUPEE

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 13:17, Reply)
Fine, but please explain your interest in his financial arrangements

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 13:20, Reply)
I haven't made that part up yet.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 6 Oct 2025, 13:29, Reply)
please make it exciting

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 13:44, Reply)
Only once, mind
She was a very messy eater
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:32, Reply)
Illy Cooper

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:01, Reply)
Willy Drooper I calls her

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:29, Reply)
Or did
Rest in peace
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:29, Reply)
rest in peanus

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:37, Reply)
I'll do it later

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 13:35, Reply)
thanks

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 14:55, Reply)

ea æ
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 6 Oct 2025, 17:22, Reply)
Billy Japper

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:35, Reply)
SHAMONE!

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 15:06, Reply)
Chilly Pooper

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:37, Reply)
Put some pants on

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:41, Reply)
Damn Jilly Cooper

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:41, Reply)
Grimmy Reaper

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 12:59, Reply)
Fuck's sake, don't get my hopes up about Nick Grimshaw

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 13:13, Reply)
word of the day: heterodox

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 14:15, Reply)
Is that when you share a straight person's real name and home address on the internet?

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 14:25, Reply)
morninge

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 6:33, Reply)
Hellos

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 7:11, Reply)
Helloes!

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 8:22, Reply)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 8:31, Reply)
Flippetty doo-dah, flippety-eh
Can't sing that song because it's racist now THANKS WOKE!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 6 Oct 2025, 9:00, Reply)
i miss bollocks parrot

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 20:28, Reply)
Buy a parrot
And teach it to say bollocks
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 20:33, Reply)
good idea

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 21:39, Reply)
BOLLOCKS

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(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 20:36, Reply)
Cheers!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 21:38, Reply) 


 \\
 (o> - bollocks
 //\
_V_/__
 ||
 ||

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 21:58, Reply)

thank you
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 22:32, Reply)
Hi gunt's

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 17:02, Reply)
Watching 6 Million Dollar Man and waiting on a roasting beef joint
High end Sundaying
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 17:09, Reply)
Watching Attenborough
And waiting for mum to get back from the hospital
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 17:14, Reply)
How's yer da

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 17:18, Reply)
Going insane
He's just found out that the antibiotics He's on are a 6-week course AND they're intravenous, so he's not going anywhere soon. He's got at least another 2 weeks in there. It's driving mum mad, too, they've barely spent a night apart for 55 years
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 18:22, Reply)
43.7 million dollar man
adjusting for inflation

which is what I do to my trousers after thinking about his hot cyber enhanced bod
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 17:25, Reply)
Pretty sure "cyber enhanced bod" is one of the Axe body spray scents.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 18:18, Reply)
Disgunting!!
It's my birthday IRL and I'm ratfaced - i love your pie
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 5 Oct 2025, 20:02, Reply)
happy bday u wanka

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 22:41, Reply)
Good morning

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 7:23, Reply)
fuck you

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 8:08, Reply)
well said

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 10:31, Reply)
now I am sad

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 15:13, Reply)
+i

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 21:40, Reply)
Hi xx

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 5 Oct 2025, 8:36, Reply)
yep

(I helped save b3ta! djrich - Live from Houghton Regis too rass, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 8:52, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 10:03, Reply)
yeah?
yeah.
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 10:26, Reply)
27c high for the next 3 days, looks like that might be the last of the warm days
It's a beautiful sunny day here
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 13:35, Reply)
Hullo bumstain's
Just watching a documentary about monumental Olmec helmets at La Venta. And also a massive sandstone fanny.

I shit you not
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 20:20, Reply)
I'm watching the dead don't die
One of today's DVD purchases. The other one is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Watched that earlier while I was eating ha gao, or however it's spelled
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 20:22, Reply)
I was very disappointed by the Dead don't Die

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 22:16, Reply)
It could have been great
But instead, it was just a mess with famous people thrown in
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 10:03, Reply)
The world, you mean

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 11:45, Reply)
- the world
+ b3ta
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 5 Oct 2025, 11:54, Reply)
Jonathan King, Tom Milsom, the pylon bloke off of QI.
I mean I'm not suggesting the last one's a nonce, it's probably just coincidence that the other two are.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 12:32, Reply)
the pylon bloke from QI?
who's that?

edit: don't forget that special forces fantasist that was jailed for botched surgery
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 13:12, Reply)
??
You mean Pasanonic?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 13:37, Reply)
Different fantasist, I think.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 14:04, Reply)
no, someone called hubert or douglas or some weird name
was notorious for gazzing young women on here
turned out to be a con artist who'd permanently damaged someone's hand because he'd claimed to be a surgeon or something

EdsMeds
www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Craig_Colclough
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 16:18, Reply)
Happen Toaster's old pylon gif was featured on an episode, and he mentioned it once or twice.
I was joking though, he isn't actually famous. Ben Wheatley is, but only after he stopped posting here.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 14:03, Reply)
Any other famous lurkers?
Dave Gorman did an hilarious musing on Mugababes shortly after I got FP'd with it, the joke-stealing cunt.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 14:07, Reply)
Scott Mills hasn't logged in for a while

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 16:34, Reply)
What about DJ Hetz Hudson?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 5 Oct 2025, 19:03, Reply)
had to work that one out

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 13:46, Reply)
YOU'RE a massive Olmec helmet, m(2^3)

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 4 Oct 2025, 20:31, Reply)
^sandstone fanny

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 20:33, Reply)
there has to be a twist

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 20:34, Reply)
I think the twist
Is usually when the leader is sacrificed at the top of a pyramid
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 20:46, Reply)
Hullo.
I just had a rather satisfying big fat shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Cock, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 21:27, Reply)
knife and fork or spoon?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 21:51, Reply)
I wanna be a macho moon

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 22:39, Reply)
My trusty poop knife had to be used, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Cock, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 23:19, Reply)
yoni live once

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 21:56, Reply)
Any idea where Lingam is? I'll be going on from there to Suckham.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 21:58, Reply)
Helmand Province

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 22:43, Reply)
DISGUSTING

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Oct 2025, 23:48, Reply)
Haha no way that's mental

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 5 Oct 2025, 0:16, Reply)

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