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afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:10, Reply)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 12:26, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 6:20, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 6:24, Reply)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 9:50, Reply)
You would say that

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 9:50, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 9:50, Reply)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 9:51, Reply)
alright

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:52, Reply)
You would say that

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 9:51, Reply)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 6:36, Reply)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:06, Reply)
You would say that

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:06, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:06, Reply)
You would say that

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:07, Reply)
alright

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:53, Reply)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:07, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 6:42, Reply)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:30, Reply)
You would say that

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:30, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:30, Reply)
You would say that

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:31, Reply)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:31, Reply)
alright

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 10:53, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 7:19, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 7:47, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 8:16, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! $$ βœ…, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 8:44, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 8:48, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 8:50, Reply)
morning

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 9:19, Reply)
GEOSTORM

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 11:21, Reply)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 11:50, Reply)
Steam me the Bum of Alfredo Garcia!
*Radio 4 audience laughs, Jack Dee groans*

Well, that was tedious. Now what?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 15:47, Reply)
Uh
Now we kiss?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 15:47, Reply)
Dunno if this calls for a "put on my wizard robe and hat" reference
or "polka dot knickers"
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 15:53, Reply)
Then I don't know whether to laugh politely or vomit impolitely.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 16:23, Reply)
I think there's time for both

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 16:34, Reply)
PODKA

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Dec 2025, 17:05, Reply)
BRACE YOURSELF

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 17:36, Reply)
CHECKS CONTENTS

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 18:57, Reply)
...of grry's hard drive

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Dec 2025, 19:13, Reply)
had that seized years ago m8

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 21:35, Reply)
get out of my closet!

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 18:39, Reply)
Alright

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 16:11, Reply)
alright [ insert comedic twist on your name here ]

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 16:35, Reply)
Two GAY Hats
lol
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 19:15, Reply)
Oh COME ON

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 20:13, Reply)
+ MY FACE YOU BIG SEXY GAY MAN

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 8:51, Reply)
Alright

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 18:06, Reply)
yer you?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 21:34, Reply)
Some cunt up the road chopped through their underground electric cable
Now we're all suffering in darkness and cold while they try to fix it
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 18:41, Reply)
that was me m8

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 18:46, Reply)
fucker

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 19:02, Reply)
Update
First broke the cable at 2 pm.
Might be fixed by 10 pm.

Bollock
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 20:14, Reply)
I've read better haikus, I'll be honest.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 8 Dec 2025, 20:45, Reply)
That seems very quick to me. Dno normally take hours just to attend. Then dig out...blah blah

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 20:59, Reply)
Remember when we got telly and teletext through the air,
can't cut through that with a spade, and people say the future is better
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 23:12, Reply)
gutted
now you're gonna miss Eastenders AND Corrie
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 21:35, Reply)
Isn't that just life?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 23:08, Reply)
GS

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 18:57, Reply)
I LITERALLY do NOT EVEN know how to respond to this

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 21:35, Reply)
afternoon

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 12:27, Reply)
Hold on, I've not finished my morning yet

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 13:00, Reply)
Right, finished now. Carry on

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 13:15, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 13:52, Reply)
WRONG

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 15:09, Reply)
It's getting dark outside now, I'm calling evening.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 15:10, Reply)
And seeing as it's now dark I assume that it is also gayshift as this gets moved earlier in winter due to gaylight saving time.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 15:16, Reply)
Confirmed, Flaming Freddie the Camp Lamplighter just minced past my window, igniting the lampposts with his magical rainbow

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 15:38, Reply)
settle the fuck down gary numan

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 17:08, Reply)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Dec 2025, 3:41, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 5:09, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 6:19, Reply)
Mornday moning

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 7:37, Reply)
m
o
r
n
I
n
g
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 7:53, Reply)
check out
e e
cum
mings
,
here

!
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 8:52, Reply)
lol
ming
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 9:00, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 8:29, Reply)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 10:26, Reply)
Just left my 'friend's' house
We were discussing music and the conversation went thusly

You know Elton John didn't write any of his songs

Duh, yeah everyone knows Reg Dwight wrote the lyrics

*we are no longer friends
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sun 7 Dec 2025, 19:38, Reply)
Reg Dweft

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 20:18, Reply)
Saturday Night’s Alright for Dying

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 20:29, Reply)
The Bitch Is Dead

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 21:12, Reply)
Bernie Torpid

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 20:47, Reply)
I won't be going to my friend's house anymore
The surgery wasn't the success we thought it was. They've pulled the plug and given him the last rites. According to his husband, he's got a couple of hours at best. I am now getting very drunk.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 20:52, Reply)
Oh fucking hell, sorry to hear that, Smashy.
My sincerest condolences.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Dec 2025, 21:11, Reply)
Thanks
I'm not thinking well right now
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 21:21, Reply)
sorry smashy
have an internet hug
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 21:48, Reply)
Thanks
His husband just called, he's gone. I'm turning my phone off now.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 21:59, Reply)
fuck. :(

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 22:12, Reply)
Rip Dwight

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 21:00, Reply)
I'm Not Standing

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 21:11, Reply)
Cops had cordoned off the court across from ours when we got back from Asbury Park, I just found out there was a murder there earlier

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 22:06, Reply)
are you a judge?

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 5:55, Reply)
No Jingles, I'm a murderer

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 18:39, Reply)
The Culled

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 6:15, Reply)
Why did the baker have brown hands?
Because he kneaded a poo!!!!

Not really, he was Somalian
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 13:47, Reply)
President Trump says Somalians are garbage, he's not a racist so i guess it's just the truth

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 14:00, Reply)
- brown
+ smelly

Removes any troublesome hint of Reform or EDL leanings.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 15:32, Reply)
You're saying that all Somalians are smelly, that's what you're saying

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 15:45, Reply)
He's got a point m8
Don't shoot the messenger and when I mean messenger I of course mean international aid worker in war-torn Mogadishu
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 16:29, Reply)
Gezondheid

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 17:24, Reply)
Martin sub-Parr

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 16:02, Reply)
The Boo Deadlies

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 17:39, Reply)

amzn.eu/d/buvSA10
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 16:20, Reply)
A tale as old as time

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 16:26, Reply)

"perfectly safe for the kids, but with a few snickers that adults with a slightly bent sense of humour can enjoy while reading along"

Oh, I see what 'Munty' was going for now, it was far too subtle without that clue
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 19:06, Reply)
Munt and the gang

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 21:01, Reply)
Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician?
It was due mainly to poor diet, and being improperly hydrated
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 19:37, Reply)
Probably goes hand in hand with the autistic spectrum disorder that so often accompanies mathematical genius.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Dec 2025, 20:22, Reply)
and a pencil up the pooper

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 21:02, Reply)
Turtle power!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Dec 2025, 21:13, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 7:30, Reply)
bore da pawb!

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 9:37, Reply)
Goedemorgen

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 9:41, Reply)
madainn mhath!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 10:21, Reply)
exercise, breakfast+lunch, Caravaggio at the Wallace Collection, roast, guffs, bed
not that anyone arksed
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 10:41, Reply)
lol vag

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 10:46, Reply)
ah yes
full-lipped, languorous boys who seem to solicit the onlooker with their offers of fruit, wine, flowersβ€”and themselves
(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 11:15, Reply)
Fuck yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 11:18, Reply)
I peel mine first

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 11:30, Reply)

www.wikihow.com/Eat-Langoustines
(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 11:52, Reply)
MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY RENAISSANCE PAINTER AND I LOVE IT UP MY BUM-BUM FROM OTHER GAY RENAISSANCE PAINTERS

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Dec 2025, 15:18, Reply)
I know

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 11:11, Reply)
alright De La Soul

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 11:16, Reply)
acceptable Dream Warriors

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 13:01, Reply)
Wash Your Bell in My Sink

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 13:33, Reply)
Push Your Face in My Stink

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 13:41, Reply)
Evening
Going to see Idlewild later, I'm sure everyone else probably thinks they're shit and gay but it should be a good night. You?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 16:38, Reply)
might drink too much wine while watching old sessions of Later with Jools on iPlayer

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 16:41, Reply)
LATE Jools Holland
Just posting this now etc.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 16:57, Reply)
Jools Hellbound

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 20:23, Reply)
Boogie-WOOOOOgie

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 9:02, Reply)
Cools Holland

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 20:32, Reply)
music snobbery? On b3ta? Never.
I also like Idlewild, enjoy the gig
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 17:01, Reply)
Roddy Woomble's grandparents used to play bingo in the venue, apparently.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 17:13, Reply)
does he live in Wiimbledoon?

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 7:38, Reply)
Deady Woomble

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Dec 2025, 17:13, Reply)
Woombling free at last

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 18:08, Reply)
playing bongo

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 20:30, Reply)
I am so gay for Tyler Ballgame right now
Idlewild are shit and I love them/you
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 6 Dec 2025, 17:53, Reply)
Dyler Pallgame

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 18:11, Reply)
I haven't knowingly heard their stuff
But I hope you have a lovely time
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 18:31, Reply)
Drinking, pub, blah-de-blah

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 19:35, Reply)
carol vorderman's magnificent arse

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Dec 2025, 20:04, Reply)
Richard Whiteley's incredible testicles

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 6 Dec 2025, 20:15, Reply)
incresticles

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 22:03, Reply)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 23:11, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8463565
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 0:53, Reply)
Idlewild were fucking great, by the way.
I only really know the Remote Part album and some of their early singles, but the set leaned heavily towards them and the band were clearly enjoying themselves.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 23:38, Reply)
What if you held the world in your arse tonight?
*steams*
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 7 Dec 2025, 13:25, Reply)
Roddy Woomble says that you're too fragile!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 8 Dec 2025, 18:21, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 7:25, Reply)
A bit later morning

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 6 Dec 2025, 7:30, Reply)
even later morning
- wow this is exciting
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:04, Reply)
LATER STILL!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:18, Reply)
It’s earlier now.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:47, Reply)
i remember when this was all just then

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 11:19, Reply)
BERNARD MANNING

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Dec 2025, 7:39, Reply)
Bernard Personning

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:05, Reply)
BUMNARD MANSTEAMING

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:28, Reply)
Not this again

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:47, Reply)
bot hiss again

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 9:28, Reply)
LET OFF SOME STEAM, BUMMIT!

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 9:57, Reply)

Not this steam bum
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:19, Reply)
Bum steam ahead!

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:41, Reply)
Urgh. Somewhat hungover after staff Christmas party.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:29, Reply)
^

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:33, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:12, Reply)
It's snowing
Update: it's no longer snowing
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 12:11, Reply)
They said it would snow, then it didn't snow and then they said it MIGHT snow
Snow is so flakey
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wβ‚’β‚™β‚–y, wₐα΅₯y wβ‚’β‚™dβ‚‘α΅£, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:38, Reply)
You melt

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:43, Reply)
Icy what you did there.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:54, Reply)
morning
Has anyone here ever relocated to somewhere like the UAE?

Or ever relocated ever?

If so any advice? (I know that’s general very general)
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 7:04, Reply)
The campus is a bit dull but Norwich was alright

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wβ‚’β‚™β‚–y, wₐα΅₯y wβ‚’β‚™dβ‚‘α΅£, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 12:43, Reply)
The Duke's Head is around there
somewhere
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 13:04, Reply)
Fucking students, they'll nick anything

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wβ‚’β‚™β‚–y, wₐα΅₯y wβ‚’β‚™dβ‚‘α΅£, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:36, Reply)
it was a beheading joke, perhaps i should have made that clearer

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:43, Reply)
Yeah anyway
Anyone got anything exciting planned for the weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:00, Reply)
killerkitti is visiting from Denver at the moment, we're going to Asbury Park on Sunday I think
yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:12, Reply)
I hate The Cult

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:20, Reply)
Why? Did they do another song?

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:47, Reply)
/talk, you mean

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 23:38, Reply)
<s>l</s> n
Spanishfly, that is
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 0:05, Reply)
Subjective.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 23:05, Reply)
work :(

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 23:14, Reply)
you should quit and not worry about it

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 23:43, Reply)
Mite do a war crime

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 0:08, Reply)
All the best ones have already been done i reckon

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 0:24, Reply)
Frank Gonery

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 0:13, Reply)
Riddle me this, fellow guntstronaut's
Name someone with a more grating singing voice than Kevin Rowland. You can't say Morrissey
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:10, Reply)
Joanna Newsom?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:17, Reply)
The governor of California?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:19, Reply)
You, I mean

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:25, Reply)
N/N/SHUT THE FUCK UP

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:21, Reply)
Imagine being Kevin Rowland, yeah
and hearing your singing voice and thinking yeah, I should defo be a singer, I'll smash it

and being right
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:18, Reply)
Smeggy smegg yeah?
Home from my work’s Christmas party before things got messy
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:28, Reply)
So very, very smeggy

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:30, Reply)
Mike Skinner

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:29, Reply)
Worst Labour MP ever

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:30, Reply)
No, that was Bruce Wayne

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:48, Reply)
Bruce Wayne is big leggy

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 23:39, Reply)
Tom Waits

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:46, Reply)
good shout
Paolo Nutini is another strong contender
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:53, Reply)
no

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:22, Reply)
Beer on cock
Friday fucklift
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:30, Reply)
Jolly good, it's wine time, darling

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:36, Reply)
I just had a rather nice port

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:01, Reply)
In a storm
Any
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:09, Reply)
In my tube carriage is a standup comedian I've seen on a couple of panel shows
Pasty faced ginger cunt with super long hair and beard, wearing corduroy lionels. Unfunny prick
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:07, Reply)
You, I mean
obv
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:08, Reply)
Spanishfly you mean?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:08, Reply)
awks

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:09, Reply)
Someone told me that all gingers 'like' children
Just saying
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:15, Reply)
Anyone know what colour brb's hair is?
I'm just asking questions, don't ban me guy's
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:18, Reply)
Auburn

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:19, Reply)
Strawberry blond

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:45, Reply)
Beach-bleached blond

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:01, Reply)
This cunt
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alasdair_Beckett-King
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:14, Reply)
Precisely

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:16, Reply)
Ah yeah, I've seen him on never steam the bumcocks

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:32, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:55, Reply)
Cunts like that are why English people assume I'm posh,
It's just a normal first name in Scotland but every English Alasdair has a double-barrelled surname and went to Eton.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:54, Reply)
I dunno, I know an Alasdair
Not private school.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:03, Reply)
Soz, misread yr post Al

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:03, Reply)
You can't call me Al

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:26, Reply)
Fucken can, Al

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:27, Reply)
Stop being Weird, you two.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:05, Reply)
Weird Al Jourgenson

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:26, Reply)
Ministry of Silly Wanks

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:50, Reply)
I saw a photo the other day of a guy who'd made himself an amazing Halloween costume as Weird Al Jourgenson,
which was exactly what it sounds like.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:30, Reply)
Alas dair and jones

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:39, Reply)
Where Alas's Dair

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:40, Reply)
Also calm down Alasdair he's from Durham
Part of Scotland at some point most likely. I've read The Steel Bonnets by George Mcdonald Fraser m8, and when I say read I mean pretended to have read to humour my father.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:44, Reply)
My faither wis deid afore I wis weaned, ye insensitive sassenach

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:51, Reply)
Jings

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 9:47, Reply)
^ A. Hedge-Hogge

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:08, Reply)
Alisdair, Darling!

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 0:07, Reply)
Went to YSJ, educationally sub-prime.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:28, Reply)
Mark Simmons?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:43, Reply)
Not for me thanks, I'm driving

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:44, Reply)
The BBC is trailing their Christmas schedule,
they've got one called "Dexter Proctor the 10-year-old doctor". They literally named him bum-fingerer, just wondering if 2can's going to sue for copyright
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:23, Reply)
sounds like a viz character

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 6:01, Reply)
afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 13:09, Reply)
Yes
Might have a nap till home time
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 13:35, Reply)
Pro tip: divide salary generated during time spent napping by 40 to reveal your current wink fee

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 13:45, Reply)
πŸ’²βž—οΈ(⏰️😴)βœ–οΈ40πŸŸ°β‰οΈ
Now what?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 15:28, Reply)
it is revealed

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 15:39, Reply)
My Casio RXJ calculator must be broken
I have had it since 1984
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 15:42, Reply)
my knob and bollocks, you mean

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:10, Reply)
Not again
Not complaining
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:17, Reply)
I'm not quite sure that's the equation that was suggested

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:11, Reply)
Alright Carol Vorderman
Yes, she is fitter than Rachel Riley
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:29, Reply)
Her arse is better than Riley's but overall if you would rather go 3 loads with Vorders over Riley you are fucking insane.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:41, Reply)
3?
I wish
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:45, Reply)
Over a 3-month period
Lol period
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:47, Reply)
LOL
Bloody Hell
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:49, Reply)
4 / 7 Scuffed dome
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clydg58ex4eo
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 13:48, Reply)
Same/as you

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 13:54, Reply)
3/7 it's a girl!

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŽ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 14:24, Reply)
8/7
Even though there were only 8 questions I correctly pointed out that the B52s are fucking garbage.

So gave myself an extra point.
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 14:30, Reply)
6/7
Still also a scuffed dome!
Bloody bullshit scoring system, I'm clearly superior, where's my five pounds?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 14:39, Reply)
4/7 bum/steam

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 14:40, Reply)
The beatnuts are over here touring next year.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 16:59, Reply)
They are still amazing live
Last time I saw them it was a double header with Jeru tha Damaja. He is a fat, drunken mess these days, v depressing to see
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:31, Reply)
Would you say he was... damajed goods?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:02, Reply)
no m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:11, Reply)
B3ta, you mean

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:46, Reply)
Early stages at the moment but this nonce might be on his way to work in Dubai for a few years.
Is b3ta a β€œthing” over there? I fucking hope not
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:07, Reply)
BERNARD MANNING

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:21, Reply)
no real names plz

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:19, Reply)

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