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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Next, you bunch of slackers.
Since it's Frog's birthday, let's all wish him well and suggest a present for him.
He would look well cool on this chinny reckon
www.foundshit.com/inflatable-lily-pad/Alt. Are you still cool? Follow the trends? Know all the latest stars and fads?
I was shopping at the weekend and was hard pressed to find jeans that weren't skinny fit, ultra slim leg, or some other hipster cunt apparel.
I hate that my fashion is dictated by the horrid youth of today.
If you aren't down with modern life anymore, when did you realise?
Does that new fangled technology continue to baffle you?
Altalt. Lunch.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:40,
315 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Meatball, and mushroom risotto. Garlic bread too, just cooking.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
You have an oven in your surgery?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:49,
Reply)
Off all week. Missus and kid at her sisters, so im dossin around at h all week
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:52,
Reply)
Sweet. Have you started drinking yet?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:54,
Reply)
Are you looking for a bottle buddy?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:56,
Reply)
Oh yeah. Drinking alone=alcomoholic.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:02,
Reply)
Not started boozing no.
Eating, telly and half hearted wanking.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:09,
Reply)
Best of all the wanking.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:10,
Reply)
I've been at it for ages just got a semi lob on
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:12,
Reply)
TMI.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
Oh, yes. I have home made chilli.
As you were...
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:48,
Reply)
Only cunts and teenage girls use the word horrid
HTH
(
Peej, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:50,
Reply)
You horrid cunt
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:55,
Reply)
I'm dead cool me.
I sometimes go out without a tie.
Lunch, bacon, eggs, toast, tea, ta.
(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
Also $1800? Fuck off, I wouldn't spend 10p on the Rangafucker.
(
Peej, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:52,
Reply)
Would you up to 20?
www.cadbury.co.uk/products/Freddo-2407?p=2407
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:55,
Reply)
Fucking hell! Is everything about gay sex with you!
(
Peej, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:56,
Reply)
Whaaaaaa?
How is Freddo Frog about gay sex?
What you get up to with confectionery is your own deal.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:57,
Reply)
You're the one posting all this filth not me!
(
Peej, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:59,
Reply)
PLEASE STOP RUINING MY SPECIAL DAY WITH YOUR GAY AGENDA
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
Have you had your wash today?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:02,
Reply)
I don't know what this means
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:03,
Reply)
Birthday wash.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:06,
Reply)
Err, yes? I dunno still
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
Shrimp dumpling udon.
I haven't got a clue about any of that shit. I buy 501's, Dr Martins and t-shirts. And jumpers for when it's cold. I have a smartphone but I'll be fucked if I can operate it.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:58,
Reply)
I don't give a fuck about your udon.
Reply in the right place, or DYAAKY. I don't care which.
(
Peej, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:00,
Reply)
See! I'm shit!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
Hey GeordieJay!
Get fucked.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:56,
Reply)
Alright?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:57,
Reply)
yer
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
With a range of designer jumpers and jeans, finished off with various tan, brown and black boots I'm never off trend mofo
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:57,
Reply)
Denim is always in style!
Except when it is double denim.
Unless you are a lesbian or a cowboy.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:58,
Reply)
Denim jackets?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:59,
Reply)
Hmm... depends on the style
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
Womans cut with tassles yeah?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:02,
Reply)
tassles on the nipples!
Here is what the internet suggests but not anything I would get away with
www.asos.com/search/denim-jacket-men?hrd=1&q=denim+jacket+men&SearchSuggestUsed=true
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:04,
Reply)
Looks OK on t'internet.
I suspect it would be shit IRL.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:06,
Reply)
I like the Ralph Lauren camo one.
Camouflage is never out of style.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:10,
Reply)
i like the sleeveless one with a hood cos it's fucking pointless and i can relate to that
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:11,
Reply)
no camo tho
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:13,
Reply)
Because you're not in the army nor are you 15.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
I'm getting to the age where I can't get away with most of these.
A slow, steady decline to The Officers Club awaits :(
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
I saw treble denim the other day. I know, you're thinking denim jacket, but no, waistcoat motha flucker
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:00,
Reply)
Waistcoat, jeans and jacket?
I feel sad.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
Jeans, shirt and waistcoat.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:02,
Reply)
Even sadder.
Were you at a hoedown?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:04,
Reply)
I just know some strange people innit
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:05,
Reply)
Hi!
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:06,
Reply)
SEE??!??!
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:07,
Reply)
Are you wearing double denim?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:12,
Reply)
no
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
Triple camo with a mirror hat.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:15,
Reply)
close but no cigar
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:16,
Reply)
i was never cool,
i had cockles and bacon for lunch
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:58,
Reply)
Specialist. Whereabouts?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
in my house
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:05,
Reply)
I see.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:07,
Reply)
whats with all the questions
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
what's
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:09,
Reply)
just answer the question
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:22,
Reply)
kles and bacon
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:41,
Reply)
sympathy reply
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:50,
Reply)
It's not cool to be concerned about being cool, Jase
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
Everybody be cool.
YOU. Be cool.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:03,
Reply)
But I was cool
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:07,
Reply)
when did they start putting ads on youtube?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:13,
Reply)
Aaaaaaages ago.
There was uproar.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:15,
Reply)
2009
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:15,
Reply)
That's fucking shit.
There is now no way I will ever look at it again.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:17,
Reply)
I had to buy new glasses a couple of months ago and it seems the current trends are 'hipster' and 'nonce'
I don't want to look like either.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:02,
Reply)
and large framed Harry Potter/Dierdre Barlow style :(
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:03,
Reply)
Have you tried not being an Eye Wrong
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
You mean I can just will myopia away?
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:24,
Reply)
If you cant then you arent trying hard enough
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:28,
Reply)
Last time I tried really hard to do something I shit meself.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:36,
Reply)
I meet hundred of 'celebrities' a year and rarely recognise any of them.
Upon learning who they are, I generally want to track them down and kill them. I prefer comfort over design with all of my clothing and have never owned an Apple product.
I'm quite happy with not being cool, because it means I'm not a cunt.
(
Muns, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:03,
Reply)
Who told you that?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
ym.
(
Muns, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
textbook
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:19,
Reply)
He'll be smashing swipes back doors in later on anyway
Alt:
I was never cool, never will be. Jeans (non skinny), t-shirts and shirts for me. Boots
AltAlt:
Cheese bomb sandwich
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:07,
Reply)
^TGGI.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
Apart from the severe lack of jumpers, you sound proper cool to me.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:09,
Reply)
what I'm saying here, is that I would.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:10,
Reply)
and you said I had a gay agenda
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:13,
Reply)
It's his birthday present to himself.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:15,
Reply)
Sportscow's a bird silly
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:20,
Reply)
I am?
*gropes*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:31,
Reply)
It felt like you were, it was dark though.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:31,
Reply)
Turn me over
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:33,
Reply)
Spit roast?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:45,
Reply)
Go on then
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:54,
Reply)
What's a cheese bomb? Just a plethora of cheeses?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:13,
Reply)
It is cheese that has been left out for a bit too long
the bomb bit arrives in a round 2 hours when the toilet gets an explosion
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:19,
Reply)
Crikey. Might have to try one of them
Im not keen on mouldy cheese though, like Brie or anything blue.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:38,
Reply)
I got one for Christmas
It is REALLY tasty
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:39,
Reply)
Swipe claims to not like anal
but she "accidentally" gazzed me a picture of her inserting a butternut squash up her arse fat end first.
(
Peej, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:17,
Reply)
NO WAY
Me too!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:19,
Reply)
Nah, it was definitely a marrow.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:23,
Reply)
Happy birthday Frog
May your evening be filled with drinking and ginge minge
(
Peej, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:15,
Reply)
Cor!
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:22,
Reply)
The lack of frog related suggestions leads me to think you don't care about another 365 days passing in frog's life.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:20,
Reply)
*points at you and puts other finger on tip of nose*
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:20,
Reply)
I know i don't
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:21,
Reply)
Who the fuck is frog?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:22,
Reply)
That's showbiz!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:51,
Reply)
Can you see me holding my hands out a shoulder width apart?
this is the amount of shit that I just don't give.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:23,
Reply)
This is because the youth of today are so fucking hipster I'm amazed breathing isn't too mainstream for them.
I wear jeans and tshirts or jeans and shirts or jeans and jumpers or, if I need to maintain the pretence of slightly smart, slightly smarter jeans, a shirt and a jacket.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:22,
Reply)
And if it's a funeral I keep my bollocks INSIDE my jeans.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:24,
Reply)
^TGGI
I was referring to "work-based" smart. I have plenty of suits and shit for life situations that require them. the subject causes no end of annoyance to Al. And, it appears, to Rory.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:27,
Reply)
The jeans and jacket combo is strictly for the cunts.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:27,
Reply)
Surely not if it's a cord sports jacket?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:28,
Reply)
Quite. And your point is?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:29,
Reply)
JACKET AND JEAN SHORTS
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:37,
Reply)
OH YES
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:37,
Reply)
:O
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:38,
Reply)
That's my Summer 2014 look sorted.
cut offs FTW!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:41,
Reply)
I might even do a car wash and roll about on a bonnet with a wet sponge.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
and a cool hand.
(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:01,
Reply)
please google search bermuda suits.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
Oh wow.
Not with the socks rolled up like that, though...
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:44,
Reply)
I went there on business a few years ago and my colleague had one of these outfits already.
The cock. They all have knee socks gartered up.
I had a wool suit!!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:47,
Reply)
I bet you looked like a mismatched comedy duo!
Swipe... Material right here for the sequel!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:53,
Reply)
Bermuda style!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:41,
Reply)
Keep going I am almost there
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
DRESS SHOES WITHOUT SOCKS
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:45,
Reply)
Uuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:46,
Reply)
WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:19,
Reply)
My daddy once caught a bullet with his bare hand.
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
better if it's a tuxedo and cut-off denims
that's clearly THE LOOK.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:45,
Reply)
Tux and trainers. No tie.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:47,
Reply)
ah, the "waiter for a fast getaway" look.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 13:48,
Reply)
Altalt: sausage roll, vegetable crisps
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:16,
Reply)
With birthday candles?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:16,
Reply)
No way! No naked flames in the workplace, what's wrong with you?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:20,
Reply)
I'm a secret pyromaniac
*strikethrough lols*
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:21,
Reply)
a secret pyromaniac upset
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:24,
Reply)
Textbook.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
pyromaniac Lemonaid drinker
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:25,
Reply)
You disgust me.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
A description of your last tryst with Swipe?
(
katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:17,
Reply)
Yeah, I'm getting into erotic fiction
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:19,
Reply)
"Slowly, she teased the pastry down her quivering body until it reached minge base"
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:24,
Reply)
The Carrot from its meaty filling matching the messy thatch beneath
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
and then he was cast into the Sarlacc, there to dwell for all eternity.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
*spaffs*
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:29,
Reply)
Good name
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:19,
Reply)
A very poor Brucie impression
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
My dad is still pretty clued up on this technology thing.
He just got himself a Chromebook and I'm having a conversation on Google hangouts with him.
Talking about pensions and he turns round and says "well at least you have our house to fall back on if the Government screw you for a state one". How morbid. But also, yay!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:20,
Reply)
What's a chrome book?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:21,
Reply)
Google laptop or summat.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:25,
Reply)
this^
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:25,
Reply)
What's a laptop?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
Where swipe grinds
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
Oh, the spare room, got it
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
what PJs misssus is using to keep him in line these days
(
katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:25,
Reply)
yeah because you and he both understand how pensions work that's quite clear
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:23,
Reply)
He was a Civil Servant, so he does. I don't.
Obviously that wasn't the whole conversation, Doozey
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:25,
Reply)
Dozer's an expert on pensions dontchaknow
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
I have a pretty good understanding of pensions and investments, it's true.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:29,
Reply)
It's actually a very fascinating subject
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:29,
Reply)
when I explain to chicks how tax relief works they just turn to putty in my hands.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:30,
Reply)
plus, the roofies.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:32,
Reply)
Slipping into a coma is ever so slightly different from turning into putty.
(
Muns, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:33,
Reply)
that's the rohypnol, not the pensions chat
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
I must confess, this whole subthread has given me a lazy lob on
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
I just had my first wank being 33 to it, such is it's potency
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36,
Reply)
dozer should be able to advise you if you can get relief on that
(
katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:37,
Reply)
very fascinatingn achingly beautiful
(
katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:31,
Reply)
Dozer is an expert on most things, I find.
Compared to me anyway!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:30,
Reply)
Compared to you, everyone's an expert.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:31,
Reply)
Simples!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:31,
Reply)
The state one is called 'basic' for a reason. It's barely a subsistence income.
If you'd saved a bit of money instead of wasting it on gay porn and poppers you could have a mortgage by now, shame that innit xx
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
Yes dear. That was the discussion.
Not the poppers bit, mind.
I said I was going to start saving something from the age of 40.
The world will be a different place by the time I reach pension age.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:31,
Reply)
Surely you will have died of gay AIDS long before then?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:32,
Reply)
That's the plan!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:33,
Reply)
what, saving into a private pension from age 40?
You'll need to be putting way at least 30% of your income and even then you'll need to retire as late as you possibly can.
Hopefully tax relief will be a flat 30% rate by then. It's not justifiable to maintain the current marginal rate relief.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:34,
Reply)
I need to do something about a pension.
(
Kroney, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
you're signed up to your work one, right?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36,
Reply)
Don't think so.
I was never intending to stay here as long as I did.
(
Kroney, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:38,
Reply)
oh dear
It's free money on two counts and you take it with you when you leave.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:39,
Reply)
Yeah, well.
I'll be doing it when I move on, I just never got round to getting on this company's.
(
Kroney, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:41,
Reply)
go for a balanced aggressive lifestyle fund
Or just the balanced one if you can't ratchet up the risk rating.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:42,
Reply)
I'm a money flid. I've always been a money flid and will likely always be a money flid.
I am, however, just about clever enough to try to repair some of the damage my previous fliddery has caused me.
(
Kroney, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45,
Reply)
the general rule of thumb
Is that the percentage of your salary going to your pension should be half your age. So, 17% or so in your case. Tax relief is only payable on your contribution, not the employer one. Assuming you're on less than 41K or so then it's 20% tax relief, so for every £80 you pay in, you get £20 from the government paid in on top.
Growth is tax free, charges should be between 0.75% and 1%.
Alright?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:52,
Reply)
That's another plan too...
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:42,
Reply)
Ask Dozer about it - he knows everything there is to know about pensions
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36,
Reply)
pensions everything
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36,
Reply)
apparently
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36,
Reply)
Is it me, or is it getting hot in here all of a sudden?
Phew!
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
The sexual frustration has been simmering for quite a while now.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:38,
Reply)
haha!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43,
Reply)
my firm has a really good pension scheme
but I am shamefully bad at what I put into it. I kind of assume there'll be no state pension by our generation, so I am living in my pension...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36,
Reply)
why are people so obsessed with the state pension? It's 144 quid a week, it's a pittance.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:37,
Reply)
I save 20% of me wages but that's purely for timberlands
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:39,
Reply)
I hope you'll all join the marching in the streets if any future government did try to abolish the state pension
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:38,
Reply)
If they did, I would hope for tax and N.I relief!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:40,
Reply)
I don't think you understand what tax relief means
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:42,
Reply)
Is it when you get a fiver back for each time you wank off a tramp?
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43,
Reply)
pretty much that, yes
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:44,
Reply)
*makes notes*
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45,
Reply)
Well DUR!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43,
Reply)
That's how I'd describe you.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:48,
Reply)
I am rather likeable though, so it's all good.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
why would i?
I was sensible enough to be born to parents who did the hard work for me.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:40,
Reply)
Good pre planning there
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:42,
Reply)
it was all me, and i deserve ALL the credit for that hard work and foresight, aye
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45,
Reply)
Darn tooting sweets
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:48,
Reply)
^
When the rest of my family finally die I will be quids in, no point in saving and living frugally when you don't need to innit swipey
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43,
Reply)
hmmmmmmmm
how many quids in? can I give up work now?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45,
Reply)
I will tell you later ;)
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
Won't you have to share it with all your half-brothers and sisters?
Same question to swipe.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:48,
Reply)
One sister. Them half breeds can get fucked.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:49,
Reply)
But they are the family that your dad chose
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
Yeah, I'm not including his stuff in the frog dead family bonanza
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
yes
I made sure I chose parents who had children they could afford.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
Like she WALKS anywhere....
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 15:15,
Reply)
Hi! I don't have a pension but it's okay because my family have some houses if the government screw me for a state one. Happy days.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:33,
Reply)
Only child innit.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:37,
Reply)
*only child fives*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43,
Reply)
I have a nice pair of casual boots
a couple of pairs of Levis, various shirts and jumpers, plus work clothes. I don't bother with fashion, but I do try to look nice.
(
Kroney, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:34,
Reply)
You look like a French kiddy fiddler.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45,
Reply)
Psh, as if you'd know what I look like underneath my fringe, high tower.
(
Kroney, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
I was NSA that
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
Clickin dis.
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 15:15,
Reply)
suggest a present? i've had to buy two for the fecker
alt: are you kidding? I set the trends.
altalt: they picked the meeting when I am doing my post Christmas water diet to have really fucking good sandwiches. I resisted and now have a litre of evian and a cup of mushroom soup.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
alt: It's true, obesity is on the increase
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:37,
Reply)
sorry
I couldn't hear you over the yoghurty beard. looks like your mum's minge when she gets thrush.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:41,
Reply)
But you can read, right?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43,
Reply)
Only out loud
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43,
Reply)
i didn't understand your provincial hamfisted efforts
they smelt of coventry
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45,
Reply)
Oh right, let me spell it out for you then
I was calling you fat
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
ah
witty AND original AND accurate
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 15:00,
Reply)
^ Upset
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 15:03,
Reply)
I'll let Frog watch through the hole I drilled in our female bog wall.
He can wank himself stupid.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:37,
Reply)
You'd do that....for me?
NO! IM NOT CRYING.....
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:41,
Reply)
*passes tissues**
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:44,
Reply)
Don't tell your bird mind.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45,
Reply)
she might be glad of the rest
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
*throws popcorn*
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
I hear you keep him on a tight leash. And a gimp mask.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:52,
Reply)
She'd get all misty eyed about the time she had a cock of her own
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
hahahahaha
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
this is why he keeps begging me to put the 15" black rubber one up his ass
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
(-__-)
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:52,
Reply)
more like (_O_)
(
katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:53,
Reply)
Very good
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:54,
Reply)
I've a birthday speculum for him too.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:53,
Reply)
Too late!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:44,
Reply)
HEY! I'm not st.....well, yeah alright then, fair point.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45,
Reply)
No, I'm STUPIDICUS!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
*stupidfives*
*misses*
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
Two 250+ threads. It's like the good old days.
Only with Frog.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:49,
Reply)
Why is everyone being meaner than usual to me on my special day?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
To make you feel special
...and I dont mean that night with the broomshank and the custard
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
but fewer threads overall
go on, start a new one, you know you want to
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
Frog should
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
and with nothing interesting posted.
(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:53,
Reply)
It's a sad indictment on these times that it was PENSION CHAT that got the thread moving
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:55,
Reply)
I quite liked all the being mean to Frog though
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
i just dun a new thred
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
Fashion woes was a good highlight.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
My threads always have a high consistency.
It's a good job I'm thick and mocked, or they would be rubbish.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:55,
Reply)
Some of us need stupid people in order to feel better about ourselves
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
exactly this
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
Sometimes I feel I haven't achieved enough, and am rather uneducated, those I the times I praise Allah for Jason.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:59,
Reply)
I'm more than happy to oblige.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:59,
Reply)
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