Time for a new thread,now we're discussing Swipe's grotbox.
Holidays, do you ever fancy pissing off onyour own, or do you enjoy the family stuff? Got two days in my own, me and boat, relishing it.
Alt, relish? BRAnstons, or something spicier? Or pickles even?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:18, 200 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I'm an only child and I like being on my own
2 days alone sounds fucking great to me

Alt:
Banana habanero chutney
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:20, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2306460
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:21, Reply)

Forever alone^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:30, Reply)

I'm considering it at the moment
Can't afford to, sadly.

Alt: I rather like sweetcorn relish, but Branston on a cheese and ham toastie is king.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:21, Reply)

Dunno mate, ent got a family.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:22, Reply)

You were hatched from dad wanking on a windowpane?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:29, Reply)

They are dead.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:30, Reply)

Just pick up the phone, yeah?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:10, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/6879543
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:24, Reply)

fuck off back to /talk
except that it's more like monologue these days
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:27, Reply)

since my mum died, we go away as a family quite a lot
it's one of the very few silver linings to the tragedy, as we all really like it, especially the kids.

to come this year: week in cornwall, week in spain, 2 weeks in california with frog being plotted, week in barbados over christmas

alt: no relish. flavoured mayonnaises are acceptable.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:26, Reply)

Frog abroad? Bad idea, myw.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:28, Reply)

why? i'm hoping they won't let him back in
never been away by myself, apart from a few days at the place in cornwall, but i really do quite fancy a week somewhere peaceful like grenada, just me, the beach and a huge pile of books.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:29, Reply)

No you aren't, I'm awesome and you love spending time with me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:31, Reply)

I might even get to see you this time!

( Peej, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:38, Reply)

I wouldn't want to go away on my own, really. I prefer company.
Though I did once end up on my own and it wasn't so bad. By then I'd made other friends.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:28, Reply)

I guess my answer here is:
"ehhhhh *waggly hand gesture*"
( Kroney, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:36, Reply)

I don't like people very much, so alone would be lovely
alt gentlemans
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:32, Reply)

have you been to poncho 8 for a burrito lunch yet?
if not, get off your arse and walk to it for lunch one day. then whilst there, buy their chilli garlic relish. NOM.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:37, Reply)

+ penis
they're a bit far away for a lunch wander
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:41, Reply)

it's worth it, go when it's sunny and you fancy stretching your pink trousers
wipes the floor with tortilla, donkey, chilango etc
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:43, Reply)

i have lunch here today
fuck all that nasty seafood and steak, but omelette and roquefort salad look good.

wtf is london rarebit??

www.thewolseley.com/lunch-and-dinner
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:35, Reply)

If it's anything like Welsh Rarebit...

( Muns, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:40, Reply)

still looks delicious to me

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:41, Reply)

Glad I didn'tgo into gyno. Med school colleague did, he still emails me choice pics :&Rather unethical really

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:43, Reply)

I went to belgium on my own once
but within hours I'd pulled a ropey Belgian bird and ended up staying with her.
( Peej, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:39, Reply)

ull ay
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:41, Reply)

I still enjoy doing the family stuff - for now
As my eldest is 16 now, he probably won't want to come away with us for much longer. He finishes school next year so will probably be going away with his mates or his GF or whatever, so we're off to Florida the week after next for what could be a final blowout.

My youngest is 14 so she'll probably still be keen to go away. Once they're old enough to do their own thing I'll be quite happy to sod off on my own.

Lots of places still for me to cover - New York, San Fran, Canada, Oz, etc. No idea where to start really.

Alt: Branston or GTF.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:40, Reply)

out job
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:40, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2305881
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:45, Reply)

16 you say?
Has he got a nice cock?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:51, Reply)

^ Gay ^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:53, Reply)

I'd class myself more of a paedo than a gay.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:54, Reply)

^ Gay paedo ^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:55, Reply)

That title doesn't seem to do justice to how badly I fuck kids up.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:56, Reply)

Presumably you need to corner them, as you wouldn't be capable of chasing them 'on foot', as it were.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:02, Reply)

GAEDO
How do I fucking swear etc
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:56, Reply)

I bloody love being on my own.
I mean, doing stuff with the family is nice and all, but you can't beat a bit of peace and quiet.

Alt: Encona Hot Pepper Sauce on everything.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:42, Reply)

Encona is lovely.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:46, Reply)

Do this:
half an onion
3 spring onions
3 cloves of garlic
10 Scotch Bonnets with seeds in
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon freshly ground allspice (or pimento berry / pimento pepper if you're in the US)
1 heaped teaspoon of flaky sea salt (maldon salt - US could use Kosher salt but cut down the quantity a bit)
300ml cider vinegar
about 1 tablespoon of fresh thyme
1 lime squeezed
2 teaspoons of tomato puree
1 tsp sugar
All in the blender, blended down to a smooth consistency, then bottled.
That made 3 175ml bottles.
Make sure you pour boiling water in your bottles/jars to sterilise them or the sauce won't last.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:02, Reply)

10 Scotch bonnets? 10?



10!?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:05, Reply)

What's wrong with that?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Enough to kill the population of a small town.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:08, Reply)

Not if you look at the quantity he's making.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:08, Reply)

It's good as a marinade as well.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:12, Reply)

I love the sweetness of scotch bonnets. People think chillies are just about the heat, which is bollocks, each variety has its own flavour.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:18, Reply)

Correct.
Morrisons seem to have upped their chilli game of late. I've got a madras recipe that calls for long red chilli's and I was struggling to get them for a while (even out of spice shops), you can totally tell the difference to, say, finger chilli's.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:20, Reply)

I shall investigate. Problem is Morrisons don't have many stores in London.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:29, Reply)

I'm sure there's a wealth of places that sell fancy chilli's in that london though.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:31, Reply)

At a ridiculously high price in many cases.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:34, Reply)

You can get them cheap online if you're the sort of person who knows what they're going to be eating a couple of days in advance.
Sadly, I am not.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:43, Reply)

My neighbour gave me a load of peach habeneros, which while spicy, had the most delicious sweet flavour to them
A chilli sans carne made with them had a distinctly different taste.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Not had that variety. Will investigate.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Three 175ml bottles
I mean, I'm no good visualising quantities or volumes or anything like that, but if a can of soft drink is 330ml we're talking ten peppers with seeds in only about one and a half cans worth of sauce. It's gonna be a bit hot.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:13, Reply)

Yes, but you wouldn't drink it like you would a can of soft drink, would you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:14, Reply)

Well you can use less if you want.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:18, Reply)

Can't you do it and just send me one of the three bottles?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:05, Reply)

+ smear in eyes

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:06, Reply)

That sounds fucking good.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Double the quantities if you want a decent enema.
Trust me.
( Muns, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

I find that people who are on their own
are prone to act like a little bitch.

Whining faggots.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:46, Reply)

They latch on like fucking limpets.

( Kroney, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:15, Reply)

I'd like to go on holiday on my own, though I fear I might spend the entirety of it drunk, and end up shouting at strangers.
Alt: ketchup or GTFO.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:48, Reply)

And?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 10:49, Reply)

A weekend on my own would be good, any longer than that would get dull.
I'm looking forward to taking micro camping (awaits inevitable comments).

Alt: pickles are shit. Sriracha FTW.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:04, Reply)

I'm great with others or in my own company.
Love wandering about places, getting lost.
Im going to whitby with my parents next month, first time ive spent more than 2 days with them in about ten years.

alt. depends what it's with, really.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:04, Reply)

I like Whitby, it's nice for a weekend.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:14, Reply)

Goth prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:15, Reply)

goths are funny
I am deeply unfunny.

Ergo, I cannot be a goth.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Correction.
Goths are funny looking. They are rarely comedically funny.

Ergo you're still in with a shot, champ!
( Kroney, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:18, Reply)

Yes!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:19, Reply)

I've whittled it down to 5 days. Mon to Friday.
here's hoping they have some nice pubs.
Staying right at the foot of the abby :)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:16, Reply)

There are several nice pubs
And there's even a record shop
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:18, Reply)

the record shop is good
I got a Trans Am LP in there.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:19, Reply)

I aint got a Gramophone.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:21, Reply)

Ever played rugby there?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:17, Reply)

No.
The last time I played rugby was in Countesswells in June 1995.

Twenty years ago, as a schoolboy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:18, Reply)

That's 19 years. More bullshit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:19, Reply)

oh man my fantasy is exposed :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:19, Reply)

Maths has been your downfall.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:19, Reply)

I've always been bollocks at maths

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:28, Reply)

ha!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:20, Reply)

Countdown was defo better when he hosted it

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:18, Reply)

Only ever been for fish and chips on the way to Scarborough/Bridlington
Off to Brid next weekend for a 30th party. Proper pain in the arse to get to though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:19, Reply)

All worth it after that first pint.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:21, Reply)

This is true
Should be a good laugh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:22, Reply)

I dunno, not really I guess.
I got plenty of time on my own really, and I still quite like Ladypig so it's not a chore to have her around.

Alt: vanilla chutney is nice
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:19, Reply)

I hate chutney.
There. I said it.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:20, Reply)

All chutney?
Red onion chutney is amazing on beef sarnies
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:21, Reply)

Euphemism of the day here folks.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:22, Reply)

All chutney.
Mind I haven't broadened my horizons much.
Mango one is just that vile.

Im more a relish guy.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:22, Reply)

John Lennonszzzzzzz

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Oh v good

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Oh well done.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Don't get it.

( Kroney, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Spacker.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:28, Reply)

^

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:29, Reply)

*shrug*
I'm certainly not going trawling through that cunt's discography.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:29, Reply)

I didn't mean to hurt you
Im sorry that I made you cry
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

hahaha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:31, Reply)

HE'S ON FUCKING FIRE!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:32, Reply)

That song is pretty much well known across the board right?
Not so much in France.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Kroney prefers Roxy Music

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:40, Reply)

He's just a jealous guy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:45, Reply)

I'm more of a child of nature

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:48, Reply)

Excellent work on two proper lols from one song though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:41, Reply)

Excellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

Lollest dictionary definition
www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/Gentleman%27s-Relish
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Except Chutney Ferrets!

( Peej, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:22, Reply)

which one are you?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

The best one here

( Peej, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

That could be anyone in this sea of egomniacs

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:29, Reply)

The actual best one

( Peej, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:33, Reply)

CHUTNEY FERRET
alright
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Yo.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Hey babe
You alright?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Yes.
You?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Friday innit

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:31, Reply)

The ideal accompaniment to MAMMOTH CHEESE

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

*thrashes*
BTW, was thinking of putting together a band that does thrash metal versions of christmas carols and calling it 'DEATHLEHEM'

You in?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:32, Reply)

I am!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:33, Reply)

SWEET

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

Deffo
We'll get Winlo to do our corpse paint
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

( Muns, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:37, Reply)

I've fucked deader.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:39, Reply)

and hairier

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:46, Reply)

asl?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

19/m/Truth or Consequences, NM

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:33, Reply)

Gods blind spot

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

<s>s</s> na

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Imma have Pizza Express for lunch.
I am Hank Marvin.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

I've just had a massive sausage baguette.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:36, Reply)

I had a ham sandwich for brekker.
I am going to have the spiciest pizza they do with extra artichokes and 6 Peroni.

And then chang for dessert.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:39, Reply)

Chinese?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:40, Reply)

Bugle

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:40, Reply)

Boogie woogies

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:51, Reply)

I don't recall them doing a particularly spicy one.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:43, Reply)

American Hot.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:46, Reply)

I'm looking forward to tonight where I have Round 2 with layers of cheesy mincey pasta goodness.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Mmmm. That sounds well nom.
Im doing a beef madras. Coconut based.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Might go for a curry tomorrow night

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:39, Reply)

I've got some kind of spinach and ricotta canneloni for lunch
and a bucket of chilli for tonight
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:42, Reply)

How easy was it to make?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:42, Reply)

Surprisingly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:43, Reply)

When I make a good chilli I can feel where abouts in my intestines it is.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:44, Reply)

I like this
I made mine this morning at 6:30am
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:46, Reply)

I have a belting recipe that uses coffee and black treacle.
It's nice for a chilli change.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

What beans do you chuck in it?
I usually use a tin of kidney, a tin of chickpeas and a tin of mixed.

Chickpeas seems controversial though as several people I know don't like them, however I don't think they taste of much.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:48, Reply)

Kidney and mixed 3 beans in this one
Black treacle and dark chocolate too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:49, Reply)

I've made it with chocolate before but don't normally bother.
Will give treacle a go. I don't normally make chilli to a recipe, just bung whatever's kicking about the kitchen in it, innit.

As I make a big vat of it, I like to keep things interesting so will bung it in things like enchiladas etc. Once wrapped it in tortillia's and chucked it in the deep fat fryer like I saw on that tv program with that prick who wears his glasses on the back of his head.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:52, Reply)

Never tried putting treacle in. Might give it a go.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:54, Reply)

alright psychochomp, nice to have you back

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:54, Reply)