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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've got another free coffeeAlt: also I have tomorrow off for mini ape's birthday. It's been 3 years since I last slept
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:24,
158 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Morning FOGLE, I'm on my way to London, the greatest city in England. Is there a way I can get free coffee in the sprawling metropolis of wonder that is ahead of me?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:26,
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Yeah, buy one yesterday and get a stampWhere are you working?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:28,
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Just round the corner from monument station. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:34,
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Try not to set fire to anything ok?I'm off to see an evil news corporation this afternoon
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:39,
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I will try. What you going for? Job stuff?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:42,
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Yeah, got a meeting. Means I'll be finished by 3 though, which is nice(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:49,
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Have you considered not being an alcoholic?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:49,
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Where's the fun in that?Also - this is the first one for several weeks.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:52,
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Got another one tomorrow, also got to do some online tests today for another company.Have you had yours yet?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:55,
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Last night, went well I think, bit of a change of roles so lots of thinking on my feet2 more stages potentially
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:56,
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Cheers, it'll be great experience of I get itBut not a linear upwards move so can't be too disappointed if I don't get it
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:00,
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What are your alternative options if you don't get it?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:01,
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Already had a second interview for a similar role to my current one, just waitng on other interviews to finish before hearing(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:04,
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Bold move to have gone from a permanent position in your last company to a temporary contract. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:06,
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Well the timing was right, office location made winchester move possible, got a chunky pay rise and it a large company so opportunities to stay onFortune favours the brave
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:15,
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Online tests? I'm sure your words per minute typing skillz will be fine(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:57,
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Verbal reasoning etc. Bag of shite.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:58,
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After that there's a full day of selection stuff - case study, interview with a behavourial specialist, even a fucking role play FFS. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:00,
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I thought I'd interpret it as Cos Play and take the Super Matt approach. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:14,
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I had a nice tube journey to work, and I only had to change lines twice because of signal failure!!!Alt: Payday tomorrow, again.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:06,
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Where is the question, blogboy?Budgie came out, cuddled up between my towel ( he likes chewing towels) and the iPad. Gently nibbled my arm and talked to the other budgie that lives in the iPad. Ahhhhh. Cute.
No. Not cute.
The little fucker somehow managed to shit vertically upwards and behind ONTO the iPad with its gravity defying arsehole. Imma tie one of my iPad wipes to its feet and make it dance it clean :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:28,
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You buy wipes specifically for the ipad?I use toilet paper to clean mine, funnily enough the screen comes up perfect. No budgie shit on mine though.
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Peej, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:31,
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I do have screen cleaners, ayeFingerprinty!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:34,
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I have a free coffee and I didn't have to buy one first in order to get it.(
Peej, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:29,
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b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1877186?highlight=answers-post-1877202
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:47,
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I saw a nasty crash on the way in to workcar hit a front garden wall at about 60 and ended up on top of a Cornish hedge about 50 ft down the road. I expect serious injury or death.
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Peej, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:39,
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Take any photos? Could have made a few quid selling them to the media if you were there before them. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:40,
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Ahhhhh look the witch man has captured the image of deathBurn him burn the witch
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:05, Reply)
+ by wobbling about of my stupid bike
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:41,
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Might not be as bad as it looksHedge may have taken the sting out of the impact....it's trees that kill, no give in them at all.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:50, Reply)
Yes, but front garden walls in Cornwall are made of granite and it was demolished.So are Cornish hedges to be fair but they landed on top of the hedge.
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Peej, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:53,
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How did you know the hedge was Cornish?Did it shout "look out, moi luvver" before the car hit it?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:14,
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I'd have been more impressed if he'd ended up in a hedge in Wiltshire.(
Kroney, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:19,
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On one of those tight, fast, twisty Cornish roads?Yeah, I do.
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:25,
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I think we're getting closer to the day where I will be found at one of the sets of traffic lights I encounter on my drive to work, with a high-powered rifle, meting out justice to those committing minor traffic offences.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:42,
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I think, after he posted doing the same recently, that it should be known as 'doing a DG' - brushing your teeth leading to wretching. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:15,
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I often do this even without the aid of alcohol beforehandSome prickwit on here said to clench your thumb in your left hand... this is bullshit and doesn't work
HTHs
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:18, Reply)
Have you tried not being a massive bender?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:18,
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brush left handed and clench your thumb in your right handworks for me
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:43,
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You are 'fucking shit' at drinking like a man.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:15,
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It's cool how you can get so pissed you chuck up but still manage to keep a tally of what you have consumed.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:17,
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Combination of looking at how much cash I spent last night & the empty bottle of wine in the kitchen. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:18,
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Bottle of Sprite is my miracle cure.Backed up by science. Real or pseudo, I dunno. But it works for me.
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:25,
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I have this afternoon off to help my father-in-law out with the kidsI also have enough turf to re-lay Wembley for my back garden
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:20,
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Do you know what I've been surprised by recently?Grass seed. It actually fucking works.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:22,
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I need to flatten out some of my lawn so I'll be doing that around September timeAlso, I had a fox in my garden last night. Cool!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:25,
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We have foxes round our wayThey can't easily get into our back garden, but they certainly make a mess out the front. Saw one during the day recently. They're very bold.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:28,
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I ran to get my phone to take some picsbut he was down the bottom of the garden so they are a bit blurred
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:35,
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I was really pleasedI'm considering digging up all the preexisting grass and reseeding the lot. It looks great.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:28,
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we did ours in a bit of a rush as we needed to get a fence up for the dog adoption so it loos great in places and in others its a little bit patchy... problem was we didn't have time to prep the ground properly so there are little indentations where it didn't take...
grass chat awesome
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Plant in "grows from seed" shocker.It's almost as though that's how they're supposed to propogate.
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:30,
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But these things never work, do they!The whole world is a massive con. It's a constant slalom in which you're avoiding people trying to take all your money.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:42,
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Yeah, seeds don't work.That's why grass is extinct in the wild.
Typical city boy.
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:51,
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I'm seriously considering growing stuff.Potatoes look easy and you can do them in a barrel. If successful I might consider an allotment.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:51,
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Colleague's wife is pregnant for the third time.He says he used jimmy hat and his mrs took a morning after pill.
He thinks it's his.
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:24,
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My mother in law claims to have been on the pill when she got pregnant with all three of her kidsThats nice isn't it, point blank telling them they were accidents.
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Peej, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:26,
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you mean you believed your parents that you weren't?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:39,
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My mum got married at 17 because she wanted to start a familyand no, she wasn't pregnant, just mental.
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Peej, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:42,
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i didn't deny that your siblings were wanted!(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:50,
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Yeah, hence they wanted a proper child(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:59,
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Maybe, but not an accidentThey wanted to drown you rangahead
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Peej, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:19,
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as ifmy mum told me that the dr told her it would take a year or so to get up the duff when she came off the pill. but no, she got me the very first month of trying.
she said it like it was a GOOD thing.
hahaha my friend's husband was gutted when his wife wanted a second, as she hates sex with him, and he never gets any. he thought, wooo, she's 39, i'll get months of sex. up the duff the first try. bad luck dude. back to celibacy.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:31,
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A red Fire Brigade 'RESCUE' truck just drove past playing 'Ring of Fire' really really loud.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:31,
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Should've been playing this:youtu.be/4GHe5BPb6Yg
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:35,
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I would have preferredyoutu.be/txQQzZ49zZA
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:38,
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I thought this was goodwww.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-27140966
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:14, Reply)
My ex was a copper, I used to play that quite a lot when I was in charge of the driving music.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:16,
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And of course he didnt get annoyed by this...(see I have also suggested that it was a man for humorous purposes)
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:27, Reply)
Copy her loudly each time she does it.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:34,
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Other people are commenting on it, now.I'm glad it's not just me being pointlessly wound up into a rage
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:35,
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Punch herein the throat. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:51,
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Must you be so disparaging of a life full of laughter?Typical, miserable IT creep.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:54,
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Laughter's usually a good thing. Except when it's fat fucking bloater with a 300 decibel hyuck that sounds like a vomiting sea lion. Sure, it's amusing the first couple of times but when it's all day, every day, it soon starts to really fucking grate.
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:58,
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Fat people are either extremely jolly or extremely miserableThere is no half way
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:58,
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What's so funny anyway?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:58,
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Leave work at lunchtimeBuy fish
Throw fish at fat woman
???
Profit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:58,
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I think you're muddling up fat people with sealions here(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:04,
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"300 decibel hyuck that sounds like a vomiting sea lion"(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:19,
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Woah I didn't even read that(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:20,
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We've got a cackler here.Although I did once get hauled into a meeting room to explain why I kept chuckling to myself (was listening to a podcast). I got asked to stop and said 'don't worry, you won't ever see any signs of joy from me again' nothing, not a smile a frown, nothing.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:59,
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The permanently cheerful are far more irritating than the perpetually miserable.At least the latter are quiet and don't bother anybody.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:59,
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Gonna be an even quieter one than usual with all you part timers.Ive got about 4 energy drinks to have today. Broken sleep and a hot office makes Jason a tired boy.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:58,
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5 beers + penalties + dog needing piss = tired cow(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:00,
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Urgh. Im having network issues with some pc's too. Shoot me now.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:28,
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I just realised it's been 45 minutes since I boiled the kettle.I've just made myself a cup of cold coffee.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:59, Reply)
Morning ApeHere is Swipe demanding others bow to her
Had a fucking fantastic bacon barm to start the day, so that's not too bad.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:01,
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My kids aren't at school today because the teachers are on strike.I planned a day of chores and home taught lessons for the wife to administer. Instead shes taken them out to have fun!
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Peej, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:21,
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What a bitch.In the divorce they will choose to live with her.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:24,
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so thats a bonus thenPeej can be the single unencumbered man about Cornwall... those 6 toed women will be as butter in his hands
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:26, Reply)
Precisely! and with me being the breadwinner I'll be able to afford the house and she'll have to go live in a dolescum house.
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Peej, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:30,
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It doesn't work like that, old bean. You will pay her to live in YOUR house and rent a bedsit wank pad for yourself.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:35, Reply)
The only reason that can force her out of the house is if there is equity to be paid to her as part of any settlement.
Other than that she could be in there for years.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:58, Reply)
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