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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Midweek already


And better still, it's my last day of work this week!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:17, 417 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Morning K
I finally christened my Ignore button today. I think the confirmation buttons should read 'Yes, they're a cunt' and 'No, they're alright really'

The sun, it shineth! How's you!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:23, Reply)
I would agree No3l
I have ignored quite a few people in the last few days.

I'm knackered this morning. Woke up about 4am and haven't slept since. I did however compose a QOTW entry while I was lying awake, and got up early to post it.

I might pimp it later when more people are here!

*slurps caffeinated beverage*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:26, Reply)
Good morning, all!
How are we today? Economically, we're all crud! Another plunge on the stock market. the only good news is that the German and French stock markets took a bigger hit!
(The Stig, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:29, Reply)
This QOTW
as has already been mentioned, is a real tear-jerker! It pleases me greatly that a bunch of people who normally post about poo and stuff can also bring a tear to the eye.

*goes to check out your post*

Edit: morning Mr Stig! Don't get me started on the so-called credit brunch... if I was at a keyboard I'd be fashioning a hefty blogrant right now. As it is, I'm on my mobile so will refrain :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:29, Reply)
Morning Stig
I was actually worrying about the stock market at 5am today. Then I realised I was being silly and there's nothing I can do about it.

No3l - you'll be calling me things once you've read that QOTW post...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:31, Reply)
@K26k
I see the stock market as a game. Pick a side (in this case, the FTSE) and see who can lose the least.

FTSE winning the game, so far....

This is why I prefer to have my bonuses and assets in cash rather than stocks. I can withdraw cash and jump the country faster than if I had stocks! :O)
(The Stig, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:33, Reply)
It's only a game, Stig
If you haven't got any money invested in the market. I do. Not huge amounts, mind, but it's still rather worrying to see it dwindling away.

Thankfully most of my savings are in safer places, mostly as cash.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:37, Reply)
Heh @ K2
Very, very good!

And I did call you something :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:40, Reply)
@K26k
For this very reason I don't like shares! Because you have a bunch spivs in suits trading YOUR money when they have as much of an idea of what's going on as a pencil!

I do have a significant amount of shares (about £4K) but, most of them were gifts from my company. so I won't lose anything.
(The Stig, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:40, Reply)
@Stig
Yes, it's all motivated by personal greed. These guys aren't in it for the benefit of you and me - they want to make money for themselves, and by doing so we get a little share of it.

And when it all falls flat, we bear the brunt.

@No3l. I deserved what you called me! There's still a possibility of hat-eating though. Still 24 hours to go...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:48, Reply)
Morning all
Thankfully, I don't have any shares at the moment. Or any money to save either so I'm not too scared by all this. Whatever happens I'm pretty much screwed lol.

It means I've been able to watch the markets with a sense of morbid curiosity and gallows humour sitting at my desk singing "how low can you go" limbo stylee!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:49, Reply)
@K26K
Absolutely! This is why I prefer the Co-op bank. They make very little profits (most of which is shared back to the Co-op members) but their business model is stable (so far!). They posted £49m profits in 2008 first half, whilst everyone else was posting huge losses.

I found out yesterday, that the CEO of Lehman Brothers was pocketing $100million whilst he was talking to the Federal Reserve bank for a bailout!
(The Stig, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 8:58, Reply)
Yup, I saw that too, Stig
If I were to royally fuck up in my job as a result of negligence - say I blew up the lab or something - I'd be out on my ear immediately. And rightly so.

But these banking bigwigs have been doing the stupidest things for years, such as buying into the sub-prime mortgage business, which precipitated all of this recent bother, yet are still drawing enormous salaries. They should all be sacked, with no severance packages or whatever, for that sort of thing.

Morning, Pirate Monkey
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:04, Reply)
Morning all :)
Lovely clear sunny (but cold) day here :D
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:15, Reply)
The thing is as well....
You just know that in at most 9 months time, the former heads of Lehman Bros will be back reaping salaries in some other company, whether it be as non-executive directors or actually in charge again.

It really makes me angry how no one seems to learn by the errors they've made in business and just keep perpetuating the same errors time and again
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:19, Reply)
Oh dear, sweet Jesus
I feel awful this morning.
Hugs and painkillers gratefully accepted.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:20, Reply)
awww
*hugs* Heavy night? :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:24, Reply)
Yeah.
I played the "mixing spirits" game again.
There are never any winners in that game.

*hugs back*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:24, Reply)
@Pirate monkey
Welcome to the wonderful world of capitalism and management!

The American car industry has done a similar thing. Then mismanagemed their companies to the point of bankruptcy and asked (and got) a $25bn bailout from the government.
(The Stig, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:24, Reply)
'ningles
*stretches*

How are we all today? I need to venture outside soon. I think it's time to wrap up warm.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:27, Reply)
Oh dear, Kaol
Perhaps this QOTW story will aid your recovery this morning.

*shamelessly pimps own work*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:27, Reply)
Mornings all
I've just had a chocolate brownie, now my broken tooth hurts:(
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:28, Reply)
I just read it,
Mr. K.
You're a disgrace to humanity.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)
@Kaol
*chuckle*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)
Morning all!
*Passes out the painkillers to BK and Kaol*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:30, Reply)
*shakes head slowly at K*
*head hurts*

You bastard :(

EDIT: Thanks Lab :)
I'm flying close to the sun on the doses already though...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:32, Reply)
@K2
Fucking hell!
*spang*

@LM
Cheers!
And good morning!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:32, Reply)
I skim read it
I twigged the "anyone" reference. Mainly because I am always wary when people seem to have the need to use peoples full names.

7/10 B+

Hey Lab what do I get? :p

BK! *hugs*
V! *hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:33, Reply)
TGB
Now, I could be kind, but seeing as you rode in a DB9 yesterday, i'm inclined to be mean :p
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:37, Reply)
*hugs TGB*
How are you this morning?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:39, Reply)
So...
She gets measles?
That seems fair.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:39, Reply)
I've already had
measles twice :(

I'm good thanks BK, your good self?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:42, Reply)
Third time lucky :)
Right...
Time for more water.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:44, Reply)
@ TGB
Ok thanks,apart from the sore tooth.
Just put myself on the NHS dentist waiting list. About time really.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:44, Reply)
@TGB
*hugs and tripudiates*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:45, Reply)
Yeah
when I chipped my tooth a couple years ago I was very lucky to be able to register with a NHS dentist the next day. Only time I have been to one in about 10 years! Still convinced he gave me fillings I didn't need though so I am not going back!!

*looks wary* What are tripudiates? EDIT: oh and did you watch Heroes?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:47, Reply)
@TGB
I definitely need a couple of fillings.
The back of them could do with a scrape too.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:48, Reply)
I always manage to strike it lucky with NHS dentists
Half of my tooth fell out a few years back while I was eating a packet of skittles.

Looked on the NHS listing site, found that a dentist was 2 minutes down the road from me. Went in, registered, got an appointment while I was there, got my filling, paid £30, done.

I was quite chuffed that day.
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:56, Reply)
Morning All
How are we all on this bright sunny morn?

My dentist tried to give me an explanation as to why my teeth get stained. I told him that I have a smoke and a cup of tea for breakfast everyday tahts why, so could he please spare me the lecture and get on with cleaning them.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 9:59, Reply)
I've had measles
only once, but I was 25 at the time. It was a right bastard. 2 weeks off work, very ill indeed. I was barely able to get out of bed for a pee for 5 days.

It's like really bad flu, but with sore eyes, and a skin rash.

And I had the jab as a kid. I can only imagine how serious it would have been had I not had some immunity.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:01, Reply)
Morning
K2k6, just read your story. You are a terrible, terrible person.

On a lighter note, I spent all of last night watching 8 episodes of the OC back to back. It's fucking awful yet oddly addictive.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:02, Reply)
Morning chaps and chapesses
*runs around banging pots and pans*

Oh, sorry, was that not appreciated?

Are all the people who aren't dying well this morning?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:02, Reply)
Yeah smoking stains
especially on the back of the bottom teeth.

Is it very sunny and clear today! I may have a subway for dinner... or a prawn sandwich. Hmm
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:02, Reply)
Hey Batman
@ TGB

Yeah, mine is 14 years of nicotine abuse:(
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:04, Reply)
Morning PoD
yeah good thanks, you?


EDIT Morning BK, how's it going? How was the mini-bash at the weekend?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)
Subway for dinner, TGB?
I thought yesterday you were saying you had no money?

Subway steals any and all contents of your bank account.

editses - Not bad HCFB, not bad.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:06, Reply)
I'm grand thanks PoD!
Although, I have a new colleague who joined Monday, and he's sat next to me.

He seems nice enough, except that I think he's been smoking 80 a day since he left the womb. He's always having tar-y, phlegmy coughs, which sound absolutely vile. I think he's going to cough up a blackened, shriveled lung soon.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:08, Reply)
@ Batman
It was a very pleasant afternoon in a really cool little pub.

It was myself, Lusty, Lucy VP, and Becky popped in for an hour or so too. I was a bit tipsy to say the least.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Nice
late night in the end?

Speaking of cool pubs I spent all day in the City Cafe in Edinburgh. It's became a bit crap now which is a shame.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:10, Reply)
@HCFB
*hangs head in shame*

I actually did feel a little bit bad after posting it.

But not much. :)
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:10, Reply)
A bit tipsy, BK?
That sounds most unlike you.

Oo, upon looking out my window, it appears to be dry and sunny here today. What a nice change.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:11, Reply)
@ Batman
Not really, we left about 6.

Unfortunately, I had no control over my limbs so had to be steered down Oxford Street:D

@PoD
Yes, it's a rare occurence.
Of course, by rare I mean constant.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:11, Reply)
@TGB from way up there
I can't remember what that word means now. Read it in an article on the beeb about a guy who read all 59(?) volumes of the Oxford Dictionary over the course of a year.

Yes I did watch heroes. It's getting very weird. Not quite sure whether I like how weird it's getting yet or not.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:11, Reply)
PoD
I don't have any money as in the hundreds of pounds to pay off bills. I do however have a tenner in my wallet and I want something yummy to eat now that the thought of eating doesn't make me feel physically sick.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:12, Reply)
Harro!
And a very good morning to all!

So, three men walk in to a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

With many thanks to Bill Bailey, there.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:14, Reply)
Three men walk into a pub
Smoking is done.
Drinking is done.
One leaves.
He gets home with minimal incident.
All good with you, Mr. DiT?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:15, Reply)
V I know what you mean
I dunno if they are trying to interlink everyones stories too much?

Hey DiT *pugel sticks*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:16, Reply)
@BK
Nice. It's always a good/interesting night when that happens.

K2k6 you should feel bad. Proud of yourself for achieving such punnage, but bad none the less.

Morning DiT
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:19, Reply)
There are just too many story arcs at the moment
They're all interesting in their own right but because they all seem to be tightly interlinked there's a little bit too much going on for my liking.

I prefer the way it was done in the first series where each story arc was linked but not so tightly that they could be considered one big and confusing story arc yet they all became one at the end in the plaza.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:21, Reply)
Morning all
Traffic was horrendous today, arrived 40 mins late. Not a good start.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:24, Reply)
morning you sexual faced bunch of lullys.
I just ate a scone for breakfast and now I feel a bit sick :(
It has nothing to do with the fact I was drinking pints of cider yesterday.

Everyone well?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:24, Reply)
*shakes head*
'Red... Time is money.
I'll see you in my office after lunch.
We need a little chat.

Morning Lusty!
I'm feeling a bit fragile today. No idea why :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:24, Reply)
Aye, Mister Kaol, all is well.
Although I did sit up by the window all night with assorted weaponry to ensure I wasn't turned in to man pate.

Mornin', TGB! *atlaspheres*

*high fives Batman*

EDIT: Word, Lustful one!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:26, Reply)
Cyber 5
allright! (I may have been watching too much Scrubs recently)
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:28, Reply)
Morning lusteh
And anybody else I've not said morning to.

I've just posted my first answer for several weeks. I like this QOTW - bet the next one will be rubbish now.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:31, Reply)
'sup DiT
*streets*

Oh I have no idea why you'd be feeling a bit rough today Kaol. Have those pesky drinks fairies been putting booze in your coke again?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:31, Reply)
Hello Lusty
*huggles*

@DiT
Always room for a bit of the Bailey in the morning!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:33, Reply)
Morning V and DiT and Kaol and Lusty and TGB and Placid and Boss and HCFB and
and and and
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:34, Reply)
Yeah...
There must've been a swarm of drinks fairies to rival a locust plague :|

How's your man-pate today DiT?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:36, Reply)
What's all this man-pate mentioning?
Did I miss something yesterday when I was away actually doing work and stuff?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:40, Reply)
Er...
It was a threat I made to DiT in the pub last night, before mentioning that I'd sucked off his dad.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:40, Reply)
Ah, of course
That makes perfect sense.

On here it does anyway.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)
Hey Ethelred
*hugs*

I'm on my 4 cup of tea already :|
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:43, Reply)
Right
I'm heading in to town. Will see you folks on the later side. Others all.

Quick bit of post pimping as I want to push some of the crap in my profile out of it!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:43, Reply)
See you later V!
Take care man.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:47, Reply)
See ya V
Catch you later!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:48, Reply)
I've got coffee
It's making me feel better by some kind of magic :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)
@ Kaol
Hmmm, coffee is tempting.

Think I'll resort to my 4th cup of tea of the day though.

Cos I'm rubbish:)
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:54, Reply)
You are indeed rubbish
But I still love you, you tiny, wonderful man :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:55, Reply)
My Man Pate is fine, thank you Kaol.
I have taken to force feeding myself grain in an attempt to make my liver nice and fatty for you.

When it eventually gets so heavy that it distends and my back breaks, I'll give you a call.

DiT Liver Parfait? It'll be on Menus all over the World Essex Kaol's House.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)
Morning all!
I think I have worms, I have an absolutely insatiable appetite at the moment.
I can't stop eating! I know it's because I'm home all day and bored but honestly, food rules my world.
I've already had toast and weetabix and am planning egg fried rice for lunch and then am doing curry for tea.
NOM.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)
BK you are slacking
I've just finished my fourth cup!

Hey Lucy :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)
LvP
Egg Friend Rice? You turned to cannibalism?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:59, Reply)
Morning Lucy
Eating for two perhaps?

*winks*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:59, Reply)
Damn you ethel
I just noticed that.
Obviously shows how desperate for
A) friends and
B) food I am!

Edit - k2k6 ummm I don't think so. I did used to be quite a porker though so maybe I'm eating for my previous self.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:59, Reply)
DiT
That sounds amazing!

*hungers*

I've got the meat-cravings right now.
Lunch is gonna have to be a steak baguette...
Mmmmm...
Two hours :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:59, Reply)
@ Kaol
*blushes*

I'm not that tiny.

This may be a lie

*edit*
Hey Lucy!
Food is never wrong!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:00, Reply)
Well...
I hope you realise that I'm gonna pick you up and carry you around :p
Like a monkey, or a child.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:00, Reply)
*saunters in*
b3ta is ruining my life.
100% FACT
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:01, Reply)
Foooood
I am ravenous right now, but am trying not to make matters worse by planning what I'll have for lunch.

Hi LvP!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:02, Reply)
@clendrix
Care to elaborate?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)
hi labM, clendrix
I was planning my lunch WHILST eating my breakfast. That's a bit wrong isn't it?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)
Awe, is BK tiny?
We could have him at parties with a tray on his head, distributing snacks to the guests!


At 5' 7", though, I'm hardly one to talk...
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)
Hey clendrix!
*flex*

@ Kaol
That's fine.
I was the shortest one at the table on Saturday, by a small distance.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:04, Reply)
I was hungry
But I had a biscuit and now I'm not. It was a very nice cookie though with white chocolate chunks. nom nom nom
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:04, Reply)
BK
You are tiddly.
But then I am a Tall Lady. And thinking about it, Wanderlust and becky aren't tiddlers either! Which is good, I can get self conscious about how tall I am.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:05, Reply)
I'm actually not hungry at all
even though I had my breakfast earlier than usual because I had been awake for ages and had extra stuff to do before leaving the house this morning.

I'm actually feeling vaguely queasy, truth be told.

I think the tiredness is to blame.

Or guilt at my misdeeds on the other board...

Edit - tall ladies are very nice, IMO. Up to about 6', cos then they're taller than me.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:06, Reply)
@ Lucy
I don't have a Napoleon complex, so it's fine:D

@ DiT
I'm your height pretty much.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)
*coughs*

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome one, welcome all the the 2008 K-Tech Super-Featherweight Trophy!

*brain hurts*

That'll do for now, I don't wanna seem too much of a cock...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)
Morning all
drixy why is B3ta ruining your life?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)
*sees flex*
*feels better*

I was out boozing with some b3tans last night. And still in a state of recovery, I'm on here instead of doing work.

I will soon be living in a cardboard box and weeing my liver out in chunks.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:09, Reply)
Good point, Dok.
B3ta is made of Win.

Also, BK, welcome to the B3ta Short Man League!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:09, Reply)
How tall are you LVP?
It was nice at the weekend being surrounded by people taller than me :) It's surprising how many of my "real life friends" are a lot shorter than me. B3tans are obviously taller that anerage for the most part. Except DiT and BK :p

Clocks in at 5'10"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)
TGB
That sounds ace.

I had a cherry flapjack just now :)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)
Hey clendrix
alright?

I've just had a letter from my bosses asking if anyone wants to take voluntary redundancy. Fuck.

Anybody have any jobs going in the Glasgow area for someone with no qualifications but extensive kilt knowledge?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)
@ DiT
Yay!

Is there a badge?

*edit*
@ Batman
That's shit mate.
Hope everything works out.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)
TGB
That's because your other friends are miniscule. I still think we could have got one in a cupboard quite easily.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:11, Reply)
Sorry to hear that Batman
*hugs and cookies*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)
Ah!
The midget!
:D

She wouldn't get in the cupboard though :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)
Batman
That sounds a bit crap :(
Hope you're gonna be OK!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)
TGB
About 5'10 or 5'11 depending on how straight I stand. I don't have very many tall friends. :(
I like it when I'm made to feel short because it happens so rarely.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)
@HCFB
There are a whole heap of kilt shops around here, so I imagine one might possibly have a vacancy.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:14, Reply)
Heightses
I'm 5'10", although with appropriate manipulation (read: lots of hair product), I reach about 6'1"
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:15, Reply)
Oh yeah
I forgot you were trying to shove my friends in cupboards! And PPD is still having horrific dreams about being 10 foot up in the air! :P
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:16, Reply)
@BK
I'll get on it.

If we're going to be technical, I'm 5' 7.5".

That half an inch is very important. Lots of competition between us 'around average height' gentlemen.

@Batman:

That's bad, dude. *manhug*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:16, Reply)
The dangers of freakishly high ceilings...
*shakes head*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:17, Reply)
I stand at a full 5'10"
And I very often feel rather short amongst company :(
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:17, Reply)
TGB
I seem to remember that PPD's lofty elevation was all her fault, and she was totally complicit at the time...

Your Honour...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:18, Reply)
afternoon/morning all
how is everybody today?

I'm a little bored, sitting in my office, bout 4 hours before I need to leave to go and teach - oh what to do. I'm stuffing my face with aniseed flavoured doughnuts, but those won't last too long

EDIT - Batman. What/where you work? Specialist kilt shop, or a shop that sells kilts and other stuff?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:18, Reply)
Awh!
B3ta is like a midget-farm :D
Can I keep one? Pleeeeease?
I'll feed it and everything!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:19, Reply)
I don't know how tall I am!
I must find out out...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:19, Reply)
Cheers everyone
should be fine.

Yeah PoD I started off working in Glasgow in one of them before moving about the place. Believe it or not the kilt shops are seriously weird about folk joining from other companies. All the kilt shops in Glasgow have this big running feud. It's like a turf war...kind of.


EDIT: DiT....*manhug back* *enjoys it slightly too much*
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:19, Reply)
@ DiT
Half an inch can make all the difference.
*nods sagely*

@flesh
Where do you get aniseed doughnunts from.
They sound all of the nom!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:20, Reply)
6'1"
Surely I can't be the tallest?
Morning folks.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:21, Reply)
Lab
The photos and look of horror on her face say otherwise :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:21, Reply)
they are magic
A baker's near the school I work in in the afternoon/evenings sells them. Bit small, but you get ten for bout 2.50 €. Wonderful.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:22, Reply)
Pink,
You're not :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:22, Reply)
@LvP
I love your tallness. I'm the tallest one out of my female friends so I much appreciated not having to bend down to have a conversation.

I send bend down, not over...You filth bags
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)
@ flesh
I manage a shop in Aberdeen but before this one was in Edinburgh and Glasgow for a company called Slanj (not Flanj). We do mainly made to measure but some other stuff too.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)
I can believe it HCFB
I got mine from Macgregor and Macduff, and they were great. It took a few weeks longer than they said it would, but the end result was good.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)
TGB
There are photos? I demand to see them! Are there any of Himjim and Kaol choking people out?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:24, Reply)
Lusty
Next time we meet we should conduct a whole conversation over the heads of any tiddlers who happen to be around!

(or just drink too much and dance like fools again)
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:25, Reply)
PoD
Yeah they're one of the better ones. We took one of their staff of them a few years back and they've kind of hated us ever since...it's like the bloods and crips all over again. Word.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:26, Reply)
Morning al
I am short:S
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:27, Reply)
Good morning, all! (again)
What's occurring? Anything interesting?
(The Stig, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:28, Reply)
@Lucy
Maybe we could gather the little ones in a group and dance around them?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:29, Reply)
Well PPD
has a few that I am sure will be on her facebook at some point and I should imagine there may be a few on other peoples' facebook. But I don't have it so I am speculating!

I think I missed the choking thing...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:29, Reply)
Slanj?
Sounds familiar. Buchanan Street perchance (tbh, that's the only shop I know)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:31, Reply)
Lusty
And dress like sheepdogs? ha.

I'm all up for rounding up small people and dancing round them. It'll make up for years of being barged out of the way in crowded situations!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:32, Reply)
None more black, Al
:p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:32, Reply)
It's on St Vincent Street, flesh
There's another one on Buchanan street, but I can't remember it's name.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:33, Reply)
@ al
"This one goes to eleven"

*spies above conversation*
*worries*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:33, Reply)
@lucy
I'd quite like to dress as a shepherd.
Midget herding...It's all the rage these days!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)
TGB
Have you seen PPD since the party then?

I remember looking over to the boys at some part of the night to see them choking someone, but it looked jovial enough, so I made another white russian ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)
I'm going to be
In Essex this afternoon...
That's pretty rubbish :p

Lab, was that the Slovakian guy that we were choking?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:35, Reply)
The one on
Buchannan Street is Hector Russell and they are seriously a bunch of cunts. But yeah we're St Vincent street.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)
ah yes
Slanj - right across from the office I worked in, and still couldn't remember the bloody street.

@al - I'm going to teach kids monsters. Does that count?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)
Lab
I have spoken to her on the phone several times since :)

And I took the photo of her in the air so I know that one exists!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:37, Reply)
I'm going in to uni al
I would say that was fairly rubbish, especially since the wifi is broken still.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:37, Reply)
Kaol
I believe it was Slovakian Tom, but there might have been that other dude involve as well.

You should have choked out the Acoustic Twats though...

TGB: Fair enough, hopefully the shot was centered on her and Himjim, so I can get away with it ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:38, Reply)
Haha!
Slovakian Tom was lovely!

I didn't spend any time at all with the Acoustics.
Too much smoking and drinking to be done for that :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:39, Reply)
Slovakian Tom
Was indeed a great guy!

I'm obviously biased against Acoustic Twats though, but it's my problem and I am happy to deal with it on my own terms.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:43, Reply)
al
I am indeed a teacher (EFL). tis anooying, but have to pay the mortgage somehow
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:44, Reply)
Ah, EFL.
I've done that. Good laugh, but I don't think I was very good at it.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:45, Reply)
I think you are incriminated in the photo too Lab
"The Acoustics" love it :p

I am seeing evil pixie again tomorrow I will see if there are more photos to be had!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)
this is my third year
and I still don't think I'm good at it.

I work with another b3ta member, but he doesn't remember his name.

This year, at least, my timetable is more stable, the last two years I've been jumping from one side of the city to the other. Still am this year, but have more hours in the same places, and a good few hours in the evenings in one school
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:47, Reply)
TGB
See if you can get a copy of any good pics, I completely forgot to get a few snaps (as I always do).
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:48, Reply)
Flesh
are you doing it in Glasgow? If so, what schools?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:48, Reply)
I don't think there're
Any pictures of me, I was either outside smoking, or lurking in the corner :|
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:49, Reply)
I shall indeed
Hmm this is possibly the only remotely useful thing about facebook, easy access pictures!

I am disappointed you didn't get pics of anything though. Rubbish!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:52, Reply)
Or punching me in the stomach
with Slovakian Tom looking on in horror!

Morning everyone :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:53, Reply)
And I'm back
Not sure how long for though. The urge to play Mario Galaxy is strong in this one.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:53, Reply)
Hello again V
I haven't been near the Wii for weeks now.

Think I'll have a go at finishing Medal of Honour tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
This morning...
I am mostly loving the amount of vitriol in this post: b3ta.com/questions/nicethings/post265112

*looks at Kaol*
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
G'Morning Himjim!
TGB: I was too busy either making lots of white russians, or drinking lots of white russians.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
Batman
nope. I moved to Barcelona and am doing it here.

Can't really do it in Glasgow tbh, finding somewhere to teach it is quite difficult.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
I sometimes miss my Wii
But then I realised I never played on it.

*covets beautiful xbox 360*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)
Jim...
Poor Slovakian Tom!
I've never seen such a look of pure horror and shock as when I punched you in the stomach...

*grins*

T'was great fun, you Leam-folk are a wonderful bunch!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)
I'm also slowly completing Mario Kart
And Metroid Prime (from the GC). I really want to play the whole trilogy but I think fate is against me on that. My Metroid save got corrupted twice when I was playing it on the GC back in the day. If the same thing happens when I start playing the second one...

:edit: @DiT the only thing I want a 360 for is to play Halo 3. I bought an Xbox when they were dead cheap so I could play 1 and 2 and will do the same with the 360.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)
Hello Lab
and Kaol.

I think it was the noise and the fist print that he was so shocked about. He was a very nice guy though! Helloooo TGB!

Anyone here got Xbox Live?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)
@ V
I really should have a go at completing it on manual rather than automatic, but I just can't get the drift right.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)
Us leam folk
are freeking awesome.

Slovakian Tom looks a bit scared at the best of times :p

Hmm smoke and prawn sandwich time I feel! Catch yas later :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)
Hi B3tamax...
That is brilliant! I'll be keeping an eye on that!

@Cappy V: Fair enough! Wouldn't do if we were all the same, would it? (And I do like MarioKart)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)
Kaol
I'm no steeeenking Leamfolk, I'm a jolly Stratford-upon-Avon gentleman!

Edit: Himjim, I am indeed on Xbox Live, although I had to change my name to ZeroesAndOnes, as 'LabiaMajora' is apparently against their naming policy. It took them a year to tell me that though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:59, Reply)
B3tamax
I started it, the others just bandwagoned my anger :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:59, Reply)
flesh
Nice!I've got a mate just moved there for his 3rd year at uni. He's absolutely loving it. And good plan getting away from Glasgow.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:00, Reply)
@DiT
Agreed. It's always nice when playing videogames with a mate to be playing games that are new to you as well.

@BK I'd prefer to just use the lock on. The controls are awful for manual aiming. If they'd gone with conventional FPS controls it'd have been even more of an amazing game.

Not too fussed though as it's an adventure game really. I expect that the wii controls for corruption are pretty good.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:02, Reply)
I've just been over and looked at Mr Shag's post.
Looks quite funny!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)
Morning all
Just back enjoying a bit of lunch. Driving in snow when there's nothing to crash into is fucking awesome.

I think I might have managed to avoid the camera in Leam, but curiously I don't remember anything about stomach-punching or people being lifted either. That'll serve me right for spending most of the evening in the garden.

I'm also no Leamington person. I'm a dirty clayhead Stokie currently hiding from the authorities in Warwick...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)
You Midlanders
All look the same to me :p

Sounds like fun Duck, give it a spin from me :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:06, Reply)
@himjim
I have, and I am Double0 Jensen.

So there.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:08, Reply)
Just been reading BBC news...
and I comes across this story news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_7560000/newsid_7561000/7561002.stm

It's not so much the story that's funny, just the picture of the inappropriately happy, grinning, bearded, massive headed cartoon character halfway down the page with the caption "Find out where you can get help if you're worried about smacking" - it's like he's mocking the smackees and it makes me giggle every time I look at it.

Anyone else, or is it just me?
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:09, Reply)
If it's
ok with you, I will add you. I play CoD4 online.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:12, Reply)
Why
Were you reading the CBBC section of the site?
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:12, Reply)
@HimJim
COD4 online you say?

What platform?

Bloody love that game

EDIT: Oh Xbox live. Should have read further up...Doh.

I Play PC format and no one seems to have it..
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:13, Reply)
Hahaha!
Rumbled!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:13, Reply)
@ Never Right
It involved 13 year old girls and smacking, in a father - daughter role.

What more is there to say?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:15, Reply)
I have it never-right
But I can't remember my name on it, and I haven't played it in ages.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:15, Reply)
@ Betamax
Since he's got the record now anyway, surely a punch in the face would be justified.

My parents used to put me in an Iron Maiden twice a week and the rack on a Sunday and it never did me any harm.
*yorkshires*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:16, Reply)
The main picture
It doesn't look like the girl's hand on her face.
It looks like somebody else out of shot hitting her.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:17, Reply)
@ BK
A Rack? surely they didn't do it right if theres all this talk of your vertically challenged frame?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:17, Reply)
@ Ethelred
I was 3'5".

Thanks Dad!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:18, Reply)
That explains it Ethelred
I agree about the punch in face thang BK

I used to get the cane off my old man...He snapped it whilst caning my legs one day.

never did me no harm

*regresses back to hollow shell*
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:18, Reply)
damnit
too many aniseed doughnuts. Now i feel sick - and I haven't even had lunch yet.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:19, Reply)
@ BK
Well held there!

I'm eating lasagne in all of 3 minutes, thought you of all people would want to know ;)

@flesh

Aniseed, donut? how could you waste such a joy of culinary delight with aniseed?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:20, Reply)
MMMmm
Lasagne

*drools*
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:21, Reply)
Yeah, go ahead...
I don't have CoD 4 though. Got rid when I sold my PS3.

:(

EDIT: Mmmm! Lasagne for tea, I think!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:24, Reply)
Well,
I don't blame you for getting rid of your PS3.
Haha!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:25, Reply)
it's only
flavouring, and it's not that bad actually. (may not even be aniseed, but only thing I can think that tastes similar)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:25, Reply)
I find aniseed
a somewhat distasteful flavour.

Doughnuts are far better when they're fudge doughnuts, as I've opined on here before now.

Unfortunately, they're also very fattening.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:28, Reply)
Ha!
TBH, I just never used it.

Still, now LBP is coming out I miss it. But one game in two years that interests me? No ta.

EDIT: Come on now, al, play nice. ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:28, Reply)
Afternoon all
I used my ignore button. I feel rude. Just dropping in, carry on!
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:35, Reply)
Yum
I am eating my egg fried rice.
It was my first venture into fried rice goodness and it's gooooooooooooood.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:36, Reply)
LIAB
You can drop in on me anytime ;)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:36, Reply)
@Al
I had to take The Goat off ignore before I could read that, but now I have. He's a bit of an arse, is he not?

Your responses are fantastic, as are apeloverage's. I now feel like giving The Goat a good slap*.


*not intended as sexual innuendo.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:37, Reply)
@al
'Bertrum Russell'

That made me laugh a lot!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:38, Reply)
Al
that's just mean. The guy is clearly disabled.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:38, Reply)
Hahahaha!
I love apeloverage.
He gets my seal of approval, any day.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:40, Reply)
Damn them to Hull
Sorry about vanishing, stupid work had me in an unanounced meeting.

So what have I missed?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:43, Reply)
well
thanks to a fun argument, and a load of crap posting, my NEW keyboard is now coke-flavoured. Thanks al, 'twas worth it.

@LVP - you're only NOW trying fried rice? You should try it with curry sauce - tis marvellous
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:43, Reply)
flesh
No I've eaten it lots, this is my first time making it.
Nom. Lots of soy sauce. Nom.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:43, Reply)
@ Lucy
I attempted making my own recently, and it was, to use a flagrant onomatopaeia, nom.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:45, Reply)
I'm off again
Hopefully I've got the wireless setup properly on the router and will be able to play mario kart online now. Only time will tell.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:46, Reply)
Nice responses al & ape!
The Goat reminds me of a guy who was in too many of my Philosophy seminars at uni. He'd continually froth about one point or another, making wild statements that he couldn't back up, and then kept going back on everything he said as if we were lying.

The lecturer, as a joke, threatened to revoke his ability to voice an opinion, but that only incensed the guy further. He was firmly told to STFU and let other people talk.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:47, Reply)
Right minions
I'm off to do some shopping and head to class. Wish me many lucks.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:47, Reply)
haha
Al just read the goat bashing, love the comment about Ape cheating as he was replying with well researched logical answers!

*two thumbs up*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:48, Reply)
Oi!
They're my minions!
Shut your filthy mouth!
*frowns*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:49, Reply)
Crap joke, anyone?
Lucy, I know you're not really Dutch, but this talk of your being tall reminded me of the Dutch, which reminded me of:


I was out one night a few weeks back, when I met this Dutch girl in a pub. We got on really well, and I was quite taken with her unusual shoes. They were made of flexible rubber, and were inflatable - reckoned to be good support for the arches, she said.

So anyway, we swapped numbers, and a couple of days later I phoned her to see if she fancied going out again. Her mate answered her phone though, and gave me the bad news.

She wasn't ever going to be able to go out with me, because she'd popped her clogs!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:49, Reply)
ha
K2k6 that was ace. i honked with laughter.

I'm so full of ricey goodness now. i'm a very happy lucy.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:50, Reply)
@ LM
Haha - reminds me of a guy at Uni. In every Seminar, whether we were talking Blake, postmodernism, or contemporary, he tried to bring Zen Buddhism into everything.

Then strangely got aggressive when we told him to go and fuck himself.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:50, Reply)
* sneaks in *

SPANG!!!

* sneaks out *
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:51, Reply)
@LVP
ah. I thought you'd never eaten it before. I tried making egg fried rice, came out more like a rice omelette - didn't taste very nice. I've stuff to ham/chicken (or sometimes ham AND chicken) fried rice since.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:56, Reply)
Al
You're a naughty man.

*likes naughty*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:57, Reply)
Nah, Al
The Goat deserved it. He's a twat.

I'm in a silly mood today though.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:04, Reply)
The Goat argument.
That guy is a twunt, if he had even bothered to do the smallest amount of reading he would have noticed that Wells was not only in favour of eugenics, but was also a supporter of the Hitler run NAZI party.

On other news, I've just had a phonecall from O2 offering me a free phone upgrade, they wanted to give me the new LG upgrade on the one I've got. I managed to talk them into giving me a shiney new iPhone free instead. MWHA hahahahahaha.

EDIT Rubbish Joke Time

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

Your too young to smoke!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:04, Reply)
now that
is a good deal I think (pridce/cost-wise). Don't know much bout iphones though
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:06, Reply)
@flesh
I thought so, it's saved me about £150.

I was going to get one at some point anyway.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:07, Reply)
Lemminge shall be known hence forth
as "Sheepe".

Good luck with it.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:07, Reply)
@ flesh
When you put the egg in, move the rice to one side of the pan.
Put the pre-beaten egg on the other side of the pan, swizzle with a chopstick for 5-10 seconds, then mix into the rice and give to a minute or so frying.

Lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:08, Reply)
Much as I like my Apple products
I have no intention of getting an iPhone. I have no need for it, for a start, but apart from that it can't do some simple things like forwarding text messages.

It's a prime target for thieves too.

Also, I'm a bit careless with my phone, and would be likely to break an iPhone!

But nevertheless, getting one as a free upgrade is a coup. More power to your elbow, Dok Minge!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:09, Reply)
My o2 upgrade is
due April :( No iphone for me yet!

and it's you're too young. I can't help it, it's an illness
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:09, Reply)
@TGB
Do you have crippling undiagnosed aspergers?

Right, time to check if my wii has finished updating so I can play mario kart online.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:12, Reply)
Capn V
I'll just say it is good fun online!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:13, Reply)
Apple
I love Apple, I didn't get the first iPhone coz it was crap. The new one looks a lot better, and I know a few people who have then and have thusly had a play with it, and I liked it, otherwise I would have left it alone.

@Ethel surely that should be Schafe.

EDIT @TGB You're right of course, it's just my excitement at getting my iPhone.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:14, Reply)
V
I thought everyone on OT had that?

Dok I'll let you off this time as it is an exciting time :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:16, Reply)
@ V
It is fun online.

If you ever see anyone appearing as Keville, that'll be me using my housmate's profile.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:16, Reply)
V
That's why we're here and not on /Talk.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:16, Reply)
Herr Dok
I hope you'll be very happy together!

*adores iPhone*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:19, Reply)
DiT
I'm sure I'll be just like you, and be getting it out to stroke and play with all the time.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:24, Reply)
^
Wait, what are we talking about now?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:25, Reply)
I much prefer
MyPhone, its big, bulky and looks old, so most likely to be shunned by thieves (or I can of course beat them with it). It also does lots of geeky things and uses technology that is current, not from 2004 :P

Not to mention the lack of "Fruit" logos. Tends to say a lot by itself ;)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:25, Reply)
I hate all Apple products
with fiery passion.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:26, Reply)
But but Himjim!
They look pretty!

*rolleyes*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:29, Reply)
I love Apple products
And do so love my iPhone!

However, I'm not a fanboy, I do recognise Mac's flaws, and own a high-end PC with which to play games with ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:31, Reply)
Exactly!
In fact, that was a little bit of a lie - I don't mind Macs, and think they're great bits of kit.

It all started when Ipods first started coming onto the scene, when the whole MP3 player market started thriving.

Everyone seemed caught up in the fact that they were white and shiny, even though they had laughable battery life, terrible reliability issues and dodgy firmware.

I take ages to choose before buying anything (took me 7 months to choose a TV), so maybe it's just me. I'm a bit anal really.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:32, Reply)
Lab
You got that right, I only play games on my PC and console of course.

Mac are good and pretty, but they do have limitations.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:33, Reply)
I do love
my Sony Ericsson Walkman phone though. Apart from yesterday when it stopped working. The ole off and on again trick worked though.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:34, Reply)
@DiT
iPhones! What did you think we were talking about?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:34, Reply)
Yeah
I use Macs not because they're 'better', but because I've always used them and therefore get annoyed by the way PCs do things (especially Vista). But they are more expensive* and (not that I'm in the slightest bit interested) the games software is lacking.

That said, modern Macs are capable of running Windows natively, actually faster than the equivalent PCs in some cases. I sometimes run XP on my Mac Pro if there's some software I need. So you can do both on one machine if required.


*insofar as you don't get cheap Macs. The expensive ones are actually reasonable value for money.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:37, Reply)
The great Mac v PC debate
If I was to be totally truthful then I would have to say that neither of them is 'better' than the other.

They are both better at different things!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:44, Reply)
I never mentioned PCs
I was talking about phones :)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:45, Reply)
talking of games
did anyone else preorder one of these hunks of retro gaming goodness?

openpandora.org/
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:46, Reply)
@ b3tamax
That looks like my phone! Lolz.

I'm only running Quake 1 on it though, not Quake 3 :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:48, Reply)
I'm off to a meeting
I may be gone some time...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:58, Reply)
Well, I shall
Take the helm then, thank you Mr. K.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:00, Reply)
I just managed
to lock myself in the toilet. Man that's embarrassing. What's going on?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)
Where we be
sailin' Kapt'n Kaol?

@ HCFB

How?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)
There is now a big grey cloud
right in the middle of my view out the window. Bets on if it will start raining at 514 just before I leave work!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)
I say locked myself....
one of my colleagues may have locked me in there. He's in a bit of a huff and has been playing a series of never ending pranks on me over the past few weeks. Bastard.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:03, Reply)
We be sailin'
Towards mystery and adventure!

Hoist the riggin' me hearties!

Also, I think we'll go via a shop, as I could do with some more cigarettes.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:04, Reply)
HCFB
Play a prank back ;)

Kaol - grab me a pasty on your shore trip.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:05, Reply)
I'm shagging his sister
...
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:06, Reply)
Afternoon ladies and gentlemen
I don't really know what to do with myself this afternoon. I've been on b3ta, looked at lolcats and bbc.co.uk.

Now what?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:07, Reply)
HCFB
Worth the effort?


If so, let me have a go...
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:07, Reply)
I've worked my little boney arse off this morning.
Just so I can play on here this afternoon.

Hullo everyone.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:08, Reply)
Haha!
Pasty!
I had a pasty for dinner last night.
It was awesome.

Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:10, Reply)
Ethelred
I'll ask her and say what she says. She's gone in a bit of a huff because I'm moving back to Glasgow and don't want anything to happen once I move back. She is incredibly dirty though which her brother never tires of hearing (may not be true).

Hey BGB *hugs*

How are you?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:12, Reply)
god I'm bored
I ran out of things to do ages ago, all my classes are ready, and I've eaten.

What's left?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:13, Reply)
Hello BGB!
Kaol - What type of pasty? Traditional steak?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:14, Reply)
Lucy
Nar, t'was a cheese and bacon one.

I had a nibble of Lusty's, and that convinced me to get one :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:16, Reply)
Work?
What is this strange concept you speak of?

The whole office is quiet work wise though. If my internet was a decent speed I would probably have every other post in the OT
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:16, Reply)
mmm
Pasties.

I'm always easily persuaded to have a pasty.
Or a pint.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:18, Reply)
@LVP
Laughs a'plenty over at failblog.com
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:21, Reply)
A Pasty
And a pint.

That sounds like a great idea!

MMmm
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:22, Reply)
I'm sick to death of healthy eating.
*wants pasty*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:23, Reply)
*mouth waters*
*realises there's a West Cornwall Pasty Company shop down the road*

*skidaddles*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:24, Reply)
@ BGB
Yeah me too.

Had nothing but a bowl of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes and an apple today...

*Craves pasty*

Trouble is I have an aversion to being a fat B'stard if I so much as even look at a bacon sarnie for too long it adds itself to my trouser size...
*Edit* and not in that way alas
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:25, Reply)
It's lunchtime!
Time to honour my Cornishness with a pasty (at fucking London prices - grrrr).
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:25, Reply)
Dammit
I fancy a pasty now as well. A nice steak and stiltojn one from the West Cornwall place just down the road.

Only thing is, lunch is over and I am stuck behind this desk until 5.30 now. Stoopid bloody work rules making me stay here for pay.
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:37, Reply)
Anyone had a 'proper' pasty?
Savoury food in one end and sweet in t'other.
The big crusty bit should be used as a handle and thrown away when you've finished.
Throwing away the crust is meant to keep the 'Knockers' happy - little sprites that live in the mines.

'tis a 2 course meal in a handy pastry carrying case.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:41, Reply)
I did very much enjoy
watching Kaol with my pasty in his mouth. He looked like he was enjoying it immensely.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:42, Reply)
Am I the only one that's
not hungry?

Although if I was a pasty would be awesome. 2 1/2 hours countdown. *tick tick tick tick*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:43, Reply)
Hunger
I had a lovely sandwich for lunch, but I'm now craving a pasty.

I'm also bored out of my mind, although Failblog did just cause a few office lols.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:44, Reply)
I have actually
Just done some work.
Now I'm bored again!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:46, Reply)
Welcome back Lab!
*niceness*

Failblog is giving me some lols too!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:49, Reply)
Hmmm...
I'm fed up of all the "my boyfriend's so lovely" crap on the QOTW.
I'm writing a story about Crackheads.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:50, Reply)
*waves at TGB*
So, how is everyone? Does anyone have any interesting news?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)
No interesting news.
You?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:54, Reply)
Im Getting
Major work related grief..

*angers*
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:55, Reply)
Lab
I got locked in a toilet for an hour. Apart from that I'm done.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:56, Reply)
300
Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:59, Reply)
@ Batman
I hope you mean there was a failure with the lock mechanism, and you weren't forcibly locked in, by a large black man named Bunny.

cos I wouldn't recommend that.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:59, Reply)
When I'm bored at work
which is always if I'm honest. oddee.com tends to keep me entertained.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:01, Reply)
That's unfortunate HCFB :(
No news from me, my computers at work are running exceptionally slow today, which makes it feel like the clock is also running exceptionally slow.

My brain's too slow today to even invent interesting news.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:02, Reply)
BK
Has bunny got you too?

He kept calling me "cracker" but I thought he was asking me if I wanted one so kept replying "yes please, with some chutney and cheese if you'd be so kind". He just seemed to get angrier and angrier.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)
Got locked in the Lav?
How did you manage that one Batman?

BK, a large black man called Bunny, how about a small Scotsman called Bunny? I know one of them, and right scary he is.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)
@ Batman
He provided the cheese.
I had the chutney :S

@Dok
Is he one of those tiny little psychos you often see in Glasgow pubs?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:06, Reply)
Hmmmmm
Looks like the new AC/DC album has leaked. May have to do a bit of searching to see if I can get a listen to it tonight....
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:08, Reply)
@BK
You should start bottling it and selling it.

"Boss Keloid's Home Made Chutney...just the way Bunny likes it"

@Dok...one of the guys I worked with locked me in there. He is neither black nor called Bunny unfortunately.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:09, Reply)
*looks around*
I heard that Kaol posted a QOTW answer .
*coughs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:14, Reply)
@BK
Thats right, except that he's in Dundee, which is almost as bad as Glasgow.

Batman, what a cruel thing to do. lol so loud the whole office stops working
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:17, Reply)
Fucking hell
that...was interesting. Definitely a bit different from the rest of the stories this week.

Dok...OI! Glasgow is a fantastically cultured and charming place.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:18, Reply)
Yeah :p
That's why I posted it, haha!

Things had got a little sickly-sweet.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:19, Reply)
Trust you
...
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:21, Reply)
This is why I haven't posted this week...
I've enjoyed it, but I can't think of anything to post that won't make me spew joy-induced vomit all over my keyboard.

I am afeared of you, K-Dog. I really am. You are nice, but lord help anyone who crosses you.

*moves house*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:25, Reply)
@Batman
Charming, yes I'll give you that. Well some of it is anyway.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:25, Reply)
Well,
if it wasn't for that, I'd not be here, being awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:25, Reply)
Fair enough!
DiT, I posted just once this week and I'm afraid to say it was a pretty soppy effort, oh well.

Dok...Yeah who're we kidding here? It's a shithole.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:27, Reply)
I'm still only on page 10
of the QOTW. So I will have something to look forward to... or not as it may be
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:27, Reply)
I'll try
my best :D
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:32, Reply)
*looks around*
Yes I think we are a squishable huggable trustworthy lot :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:33, Reply)
@ancrenne
Squishy hugs are my speciality as you darn well know.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:33, Reply)
Yeah, I can do hugging.
*empties pockets*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:34, Reply)
hugs?
Did someone say hugs?

I love hugs. Giving and receiving. There's nothing better than a bear hug when you're feeling crap.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:37, Reply)
No problemo
always happy to participate in some huggers.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:38, Reply)
Honey I'm home
Mario Kart online is awesomely fun. Got my rating up to 5600, then dropped back down to about 5200 before quitting when I hit 5500.

Koopa Troopa ftw!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:39, Reply)
@ ancrenne
On gaz to her at minute.

Passed on the message!

@ everyone who wants them
*hugs*

No, put me down!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:40, Reply)
Hugs
I am always willing to hand out free hugs to lovely people!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:41, Reply)
has ancrenne gone?
Have I missed the hugs :(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:42, Reply)
*spreads the love*
Yeh, I can join in with the hugs as well. It helps to occupy the afternoon at the very least!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:42, Reply)
@Lusty
You can have one from me instead to tide you over if you like.

*huggles*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)
No you can't Pirate
You're rubbish.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)
Can I have
A hug too?
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)
No.
You suck too.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:45, Reply)
Kaol is mean
But he hugs good.

Real good.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:46, Reply)
I don't suck
unless the circumstances are right. But I don't need a hug cos I'm in a good mood.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:47, Reply)
Can I have a grope?
I don't feel that a hug would satisfy today.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:47, Reply)
*huggles BK back*
*hugs everyone*

Ohhhhh I'd love a real, proper cuddle right about now and then a nap.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:48, Reply)
wanderlust
*hugs*

I could do with a real hug today, in a fucking stinking mood. Think I'm going to go home and watch large amounts of shit tv, wooooo.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:48, Reply)
@ clendrix
How about a *flex*?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:50, Reply)
cheers batman
All I need now is a rubbish joke and I'll be a very happy lady!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:52, Reply)
I could do with hugs too
I'm having a boring day at work, and I got little sleep last night due to texts from my ex who was feeling rather down last night.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:54, Reply)
2 snow men
are standing in a field. One turns to the other:

*sniff, sniff*

"Do you smell carrots?"

Shit joke;done!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:54, Reply)
Wanderlust
I hope this has enough rubbish content for you:


A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his dustcart lorry. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back but still can't see it so he knocks on the door. There's no answer so he knocks again.

Eventually a Japanese bloke answers..."Harro", says the chappy.
"Alright mate, where's ya bin?" asks the dustman.

"I bin on toilet" replies the Japanese bloke, looking perplexed.

Realising the Japanese fellow has misunderstood, the binman smiles and says "No mate, where's ya dust bin?"

"I dust bin on toilet I told you" says the Japanese man.

"Mate" says the dustman... "you're misunderstanding me....Where's your wheelie bin?"

"OK, OK", says the Japanese bloke, "I wheelie bin having a wank!"
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:55, Reply)
*Hugs Kaol*
To release the negative energy

*spins round*

*Gropes BGB*
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:55, Reply)
This helped me
ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/funny-dog-pictures-joyful-zoomz.jpg

This picture will never fail to cheer me up. I hope this helps all you people who can't get a proper hug right now.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:55, Reply)
BK
Aah, now I always need a flex!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:56, Reply)
LvP
That dog looks so happy!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:57, Reply)
yay!
Rubbish jokes are the best kind of jokes (apart from rude ones)
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:58, Reply)
LabM
Doesn't it?! Such joy shining out of a tiny whiskered face. Makes me glow on the inside.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:59, Reply)
Ethelred
I've just spat coffee all over my computer, I fucking love that joke!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:59, Reply)
Thanks never-right.
There's nothing like a good grope to life ones spririts.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:59, Reply)
LvP
That pic makes me miss my doggy, I'll pop over to my parents tonight to see him!

(And my folks, of course)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:00, Reply)
Anytime BGB
Anytime.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:02, Reply)
LabM
I have my dog snoring and farting right next to me. But I know what you mean, when I was at uni or when I'm away for long periods of time I miss him.

*joyfully zoomz off*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:03, Reply)
Er...
Is it just me that thinks that dog's fuckin' funny-looking?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:04, Reply)
Kaol
Thats the beauty of it! It doesn't matter that it's not exactly a beauty queen dog, but it definitely looks happy.
I enjoy happy animals.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:05, Reply)
*gives lusty squishy hugs*
Lab you do good hugs too in your coat :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:06, Reply)
Kaol
It is what I class as a drop-kick dog. Too small to be of any use to society, bar mockings, so needs to be drop-kicked into next week.

Yes its fugly, but in a sort of cute way. Much like yourself.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:06, Reply)
Excuse me,
I just need to take my "Don't Get So Angry About Anthropomorphism That I Beat People To Death" pill.

:)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:07, Reply)
I think Kaol
Is not in a happy place right now.
He needs a hug off one of you fine ladies.
He has posted a QOTW that has stirred some old demons and now he is a little angry about it.

*slaps on back*
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:09, Reply)
I'm fine :p
Dogs can't be "happy" though :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:10, Reply)
Kaol
They can be merely 'content', eh?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:11, Reply)
Kaol
Jokes about hookers and stabbing make you happy.

Pictures of animals that i believe to be happy make me happy.

:P
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:11, Reply)
I am returned
What a fun class that was.

Actually, it wasn't all that bad, which was a nice surprise. And now I am returned home for the evening.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:13, Reply)
Kaol
What about one of these instead?

*kisses Kaol on the cheek*
*runs away giggling*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:14, Reply)
I came up,
during a drunken conversation, with what I believe to be a winning website.

During this conversation I opined that I would totally punch a Panda. A friend agreed, saying they would slap a babboon. a third joined in, saying they would like to hold a seagull by the legs and slam it in to a wall.

The point being, we each have an animal we'd like to hit.

And that is why I'm going to start punchananimal.com.

Some animals will be exempt. Like giraffes, they are all of the awesome.

What animal would you be violent to?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:14, Reply)
It would be
Canadian Geese

Orrible things
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:16, Reply)
@DiT
Dolphins, for they are full of FAIL!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:17, Reply)
Im Sneaking
off home early.

Have a good evening you peeples

Byee
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:18, Reply)
DiT
I think you're on to something there. an ex housemate of mine once asked me, if no one would ever find out, would you punch a dolphin?

Turns out, he hates the smug fishymammals.

I wouldn't punch a dolphin though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:18, Reply)
DiT
If I was brave enough to go near a chicken or a turkey (last time I did this I cried as they're fucking scary) I would hurt them. As long as I didn't have to touch them.
*shivers*

They're so evil.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:18, Reply)
*blushes*
Thank you Ms. Clendrix :)

Anyway... Punch an animal...

Panda.
Dolphin.
Kitten.
Horse.
Tiger.
Leopard.
Penguin.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:18, Reply)
I'd like to
whack a wombat
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:19, Reply)
There are no animals I would punch.
None.


Unless in self-defence.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:20, Reply)
DiT
Violence against animals is wrong (unless its quick and you eat them after).

I would punch a camel (not wanting it to get the 'hump' with me though)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:20, Reply)
^@ TGB: Is that a euphemism?
Hehehe

EDIT: Ethel: *groans*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:20, Reply)
I'm back
It's cold, and now dark.

TGB - that sounds much too like a euphemism.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:21, Reply)
I'm a Zoologist
I'm allowed to.
I'm qualified.

You lot can pay me to do it for you though, in a professional way.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:22, Reply)
Just read about the bloke who had a double arm transplant
He said he can't wait to go rollerblading - wtf???
If I'd gone without arms for that long I know what I'd be doing.

uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20081008/thl-patient-delighted-after-world-s-firs-96993ab.html
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:22, Reply)
How does this work?
Both mine and the missus' cars have been off the road recently, mine terminally.

To help us out, her folks kindly let us borrow their old VW Passat Estate thing while they went away to Portugal for a few weeks so that we had one set of wheels while Mrs Monkey's car was getting repaired.

Unfortunately, Mrs Monkey had a bit of an accident. Our road is pretty narrow, meaning that to get out in the morning, you have to reverse up it until you hit a wider bit to turn round. The missus did this thinking she was in her own car, not the 2ft longer at the back VW and promptly caved in the rear windscreen by reversing into a road sign.

We thought we could get it sorted out ourselves before they got back and let them know then. Unfortunately, after finding out that a rear windscreen costs around £500 to get fitted, we realsied we couldn't afford it.

So how come I'm the one that has to ring the dominieering and frankly scary MIL to ask them if they have glass cover?

She's going to eat me alive and it wasn't even my fault!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:23, Reply)
I'd like to punch a blue whale
just to see it's reaction.

EDIT Kaol...can I pay you to fight a blue whale?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:24, Reply)
Pengiun?
Really?

I hate you Kaol.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:24, Reply)
hehe no...?
I just asked my mate and he said "Bury a beaver" and then a little winking face. Perv

Badgers should also be exempt from the list!!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:25, Reply)
Pirate
Tell her it got smashed by some chavs trying to steal it, and the only reason they didn't get any further is that you chased them away.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:26, Reply)
Well...
They're like a skittle...
They'd look so funny falling over!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:26, Reply)
I would
Boot a platypus.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:31, Reply)
*returns*
I'd give a clam a good licking.

Wait, what are we talking about here?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:32, Reply)
K2k6
assaulting animals. You filthy bastard.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:39, Reply)
K2k6
You're almost as dirty as me, stop it!


I have a reputation to uphold
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:41, Reply)
@ Batman
He lowers the tone just by walking into the room doesn't he?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:41, Reply)
I thank you
Al's not around, so I had to lower the tone in his absence.

*stiffs beaver*

Edit - I'm off soon. I'll not be back until Tuesday as I'm away on a trip to the ArcticShetland Isles. Might be around this evening, but to the day shift, goodbye!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:42, Reply)
BK
Doesn't he just? I am extremely offended and upset with his actions.

EDIT Cheerio K2k6 have fun up North you dirty bastard.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:44, Reply)
*joins in*
*pounds pussy*

That's fun!

@edit
later K, you sick bastard!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:44, Reply)
BK
That's not all he lowers ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:44, Reply)
I'd love to punt
a rabbit over a wall.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:44, Reply)
@ LM
Hmmm, him and his pervy ways are gone now.

*fists beaver*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:48, Reply)
Speaking of animals
I found out yesterday that the Tazmanian Devil is now on the sex offenders register, sorry endangered species list, but it actually has the strongest bite of any mammal in the world.

EDIT: 400, Oooooohhhhh yeah.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:50, Reply)
Thank god for that!
*chokes chicken*
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:50, Reply)
BK
that's shocking.

*pretends to be shocked*

*gets distracted by something shiny*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:52, Reply)
HCFB
I thought it was the Hyena that had the strongest bite.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:52, Reply)
Flying hedgehog
I wouldn't mind hoofing a hedgehog at someones face just to see if its little spines will make it stick in place.
(I helped save b3ta! SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:54, Reply)
oneinthepink
So did I actually but apparently I was wrong. Well according to the Daily Record which has been known to talk shit.

EDIT Just checked. Apparently the Devil has the strongest in relation to its body mass. Wikipedia told me so.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:58, Reply)
@ spikey
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7334233.stm

Bindun :)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:58, Reply)
Good and Bad
Bad news: My work pc (obviously not what i'm typing on now) has crashed. The case i'm working on is huge, and takes over 40 minutes to load.

Good news: It takes over 40 minutes to load, so I might as well go home now!

So, take care all, speak tomorrow :)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:05, Reply)
ethelred
It mentions puncture marks but not the hedgehog sticking in place.
(I helped save b3ta! SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:06, Reply)
^That seems like a key criteria.
I'd like to hurl a turbot.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:18, Reply)
Evening All
How was everyone's day?

I was in Nursery today. There was some poo.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:20, Reply)
Righto
folks I'm off. Won't be back till Friday.

Have a good couple of days. Kaol...please punch a blue whale.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:21, Reply)
Evening Mrs Bin
It's very dark over here, but I've had lots of fun driving around in the snow.

It was great - most of the time I was having to look through the side windows to see in the direction I was going :)
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:22, Reply)
Evening Mrs.L!
Come on then, where did you do a toilet? In the Wendy House, was it?

EDIT: Woo, ancrenne! *hugs* I shall be here, but only for a few more minutes... :(
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:24, Reply)
I'm still here
Sounds like..... um..... fun Rubberduck?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:24, Reply)
Evening ancrenne, ducky
Sounds like some good driving.

Get lots of things done ancrenne?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:25, Reply)
No DiT
It was in the loo at least. Don't like poo.

How's the nads DiT?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:28, Reply)
Hehe, OK then...
Nads are fine thank you, but have another scan to go to on Saturday.

Which is fun.

Right-o folks, m'off homeski. Buh bye! :)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:30, Reply)
It was most excellent fun
I've been doing stuff mainly like this:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOnCzJIH7L4

and in pretty much the same place.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:31, Reply)
@ancreene
Did you get the cake recipe I sent?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:37, Reply)
well I noticed
that it was a vegan cake so I thought I would pass it on.

On that note, we are out of biscuits!!

I shall return later.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:47, Reply)
Time to start a new thread!

(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 17:50, Reply)

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