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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

What have you discovered
(film, TV show, book, record, band, deviant sexual practice, holiday destination, firearm etc etc) in the past year that you cannot believe you lived happily without before?

Alt Q: how fucking BRILLIANT is 'Raoul Moat'? I haven't laughed so much since the 'Crossbow Cannibal'...
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 13:59, 302 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
The Wire
I poo pooed it as another American crime series. I was so wrong. If in doubt check out Charlie Brookers review on youtube.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)
I fucking hate the wire
I tried it. I watched 5 episodes. God it was dull.

Everyone raves about it and that makes me hate it more.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)
It's great.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

It does start really slow I'll grant you. But if you never tell anyone promise me you will try it once more before you die and at least watch series one all the way through, only 11 hours. If you hate it fair enough but try once more.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)
I gave up after the first 3.
The characters were hackneyed shit, I thought.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)
What Monty said^^
The whole thing is right up its own arse
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)
I've avoided watching it
in spite of it being recommended by loads of people.

I went against my instincts before and watched an episode of Gavin and Stacey based on how many people said it was good. never again.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)
Any programme that dares,
in this day and age, to have as its protagonist a ‘tough street cop with a complicated personal life, who doesn’t play by the rules but just wants to get the job done – he’s a good cop, OK’, can really fuck right off.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)
in other news
my friend here at work got tanked up last night. Still drunk this morning. Now she is experiencing the hangover. She just said "I'm going green. I feel like I've aged 20 years. I can feel my capillaries"

great hangover experience there.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)
Great turn of phrase, too

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)
you know, just tinkin'
but there might be a connection with these events and your bad nights sleep.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
which events?

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)
Oops - I read your post as 'you and a friend at work got tanked, etc.'
Careful reading shows you to be blameless. In this instance.
My face is red - I can feel it in my capillaries.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)
I'd have had a better sleep if I'd been wasted

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)
Protagonist?
there are no protagonists? I forget sometimes when I come on B3ta how obnoxious some people are. The "Urgh if it's popular it's bad" attitude grinds my gears. If you watch it and like it great, if you watch it and don't fine but don't get all gimpy and slaggy slaggy when you've not watched it. However I do agree Gavin and Stacey is fucking gash and I would like to see James Corden killed. Mr Moat if you are reading this I heard he also slept with your girlfriend and harbours desires to be sherrif of England
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)
I watched 3 episodes.
That's 3 fucking HOURS - if I dedicate 3 hours to something and still don't like it, surely that should be a) perfectly long enough to judge a TV show and b) entirely my business if I consider it 'not for me'. And it seemed to mainly be about that McNulty twat whose character came across PRECISELY as I described it above.

Don't start crying because I think The Wire is shit, you stupid cunt.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)
That post riled me too
I'm just waiting for the 'you're all cliquey bastards' comment.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

thanks for proving my point entirely quim holder.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
he doesn't do anything of the sort
you said don't slag it off if you haven't watched it

he says he's watched it and didn't like it.

how does that prove your point?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)
ha look at us white knighting Monty

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)
it's not white knighting
it's pointing out the obvious and stupid error in someone's post
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)
Go, Vips!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)
haha DEFEND ME!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)
stand back fair lady
I shall avenge thy good name!

*brandishes*
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)
*swoons*

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
I meant
about being obnoxious, I wasn't being aggressive. I was stating my point of view about how on here a lot of members slag things off that they have little or no experience of. I didn't get personal about anything or anyone. What's the point in getting all sketchy about it. And no Kitty I'm not gonna say its too cliquey in here as that would be fucking weird wouldn't it.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
you were kind of aggressive
calling people obnoxious and stuff. Wait until everyone knows you a bit better and then they'll be able to tell if you're joking, just voicing an opinion or being argumentative for the sake of it (also known as Psychochomping)
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
I'll take that
onboard. I still think Monty is an argumentative oval cist though.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)
Ah, there you're mistaken
He's not particularly egg-shaped...not even vaguely elliptical, really.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)
You beat me, damn you!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)
Only when you pay up front

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Al's the egghead
literally.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Do you mean 'ovarian cyst'
or are my posts oval-shaped?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)

that one I think, you know i knew it was wrong when I was typing it but words failed me and I hoped the sentiment would shine through. Thanks I can stop worrying now (no sarcasm) apparently I need to be clearer on that (sarcasm)
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)
Christ, what are you studying?
Am hazarding a guess it's not English Language
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)
oi I was trying to help
jerky.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)
Sorry, appreciated.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)
I glossed over the obnoxious part
because when talking about Monty that goes without saying
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)
that didn't prove your point at all
he said he watched it, just like I did, and didn't like it. Your point was that people who don't give something a chance because it's popular are cunts.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)
Sterling job at
winning friends in your new site, old chap.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
that's what I was thinking
I know we have a reputation for giving newbies a baptism of fire, but if you're going to come in all douche guns blazing what can you expect really?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)
I like him.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)
Me too.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
you should send him
a spreadsheet of friendship, or somesuch.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
it's not exactly hard is it?
Darth Foxtrot both managed fine, despite being an argumentative and massively annoying bender.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)
...who you've freely admitted is practically the same person as you
That noise you can hear is the sound of a man smugly shooting himself in his brogue-clad foot
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)
practically being the key word here
and that practically element in this instance does not include the word bender

I'll happily hold my hands up to being argumentative and massively annoying
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)
That's the only time anyone has implied a compliment
in calling me massively annoying.

MAYBE THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL MEAN
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)
I'm not a newbie
Just an incredibly slow typer
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
Opinion was formed before you finished typing that
Now fuck off back to QOTW
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)
gi' him a handbagging, Darth

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)

hand tea
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)
I now imagine John Anderson blowing a whistle and yelling
"NEWBIE...READY!

BUMDER...READY!"
*PHEEEEEEEEP*
"BUM HIM!"*

*May not have happened during the original series of Gladiators, but it always looked like it might
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)
dude I just saw your pictures!
suck my balls.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)
best comeback ever.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)
Hang about
You responded to my post by looking at my profile, and are now inviting me to fellate you...

THE MANTLE HAS BEEN PASSED

Crowsephine, do your thing
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)
You know you've truly arrived on here
When you can start bullying the newer newbies :)
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)
I assumed (which seems to be par for the course on here today btw)
that you were of the ball sucking persuasion, if that is not the case feel free to chow down on my moobs spandex worshipper
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)
you haven't worked out replies yet?

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:07, Reply)

nope
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)
Applebite does love the spandex though

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:19, Reply)
Ohhh, I do.
Did you not read my description of my portrait in the previous thread?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Mate, I'm obviously much more intelligent than you, as is Monty
Is going after us using words you don't understand really the way forward?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)
what's all this business of "going after" people recently?

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)
There's a lot of bitter weird people here
they believe that insulting someone counts as a victory and will make them popular with people they admire.
It's pretty pathetic.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)
Shut up, Rapey!
*holds up hand for high fives*
*is left hanging by everyone*
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)
*high fives hard*
I don't necessarily agree, I just can't resist a high five
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)
Aww, I was proving Chompy right in jest
But cheers for the authoritative high five!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
I know
but come on - high fives!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)
True!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)
I've given up on high fives
even ironically you look like a twat.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
I remembered the other day
that a little while ago when drunk, a bunch of mates and I were attempting a multi-person, high-then-low-five, Top Gun style.

It was not successful
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)
The high-then-low!
I shall have to do this IMMEDIATELY.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)
was it you who hadn't seen Top Gun?
if so, then you need to watch it to see how it is done
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)
Cheers for the heads up Shakespeare.
probably scan your posts before posting them next time. I see this is turning into some sort of contest for you to show that you are no longer a newbie so crack on. As you for and Monty being more intelligent than me, possibly, collectively? how will we ever know? You are dancing in your tights in the states, I'm studying in the UK. As for Monty? I'm not privy to his diary so can't speak for him. Maybe one day we can have a little B3ta gathering and you can bring some iq tests along. In the meantime, I maintain, sincerely, suck my balls.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:19, Reply)
What is this obsession with your balls?

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)
you are definitely growing on me
like a likeable fungus.

however, Darth is in the UK too
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)
nah I think he's really obnoxious
kind of like scrappy doo.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
pfft

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)
I think everyone should just stop this right now
And start a proper fight in a new thread as reading this is hurting my eyes.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)
I usually do this
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post780814
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)
Helps/ But I still want to see some more slapfights over here, it's only reason why I grace this place with my face.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)
mad rhyming skillz there

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)
ooh clever hobbitses

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)
Is this directed at me?
I'm confused.

Ohh, you were trying to reply to Darth. I see. Maybe save the three syllable words til you've figured out the reply system. Don't run before you can walk, dear. You'll only fall flat on your face and everyone will laugh.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)
No, not at at you. Loving how you pointed out I don't know how to reply properly but fail to tell me what I'm doing wrong. Chins.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
You need to be more specific in your attacks
focus on Darth he's an easier target, work up to the board wide, "you're all cunts and I HATE YOU" posts.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)
In fact, here's a cheat sheet
Darth's a bumder
Chompy's a date-rapist
TGB has a cavernous vadge
Applebite and Kitty are the same person
Vipros is smug
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)
Deep breath:
I don't hate anyone. I am obsessed with my balls, which man isn't? I'm not attacking Darth Foxtrot or Monty or the Apple whatever his name is forgot (sorry not a slur) I don't know how to reply properly, I'm not a newbie have been a member for more than two years, I am liking Kitty O Hara and Psychochomp already and I'm gonna be here for a long time so get used to me. Puppy Power my friends, Puppy Power.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)
The replies thing is simple
just click whichever post you want to reply to, but click the reply button on the actual post, not on any replies beneath it.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Applebite
she's a girl
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)
HER!
I'M A FUCKING GIRL! Christ, I'm sick of people getting that one wrong.
Get that right and we'll get along fine.

I don't think you're attacking me. I just like being awkward. I'm going to try and be nice here, don't get used to it. I think people have just taken umbridge at you coming in with guns blazing and on the offensive, you wouldn't try to join a new friendship group IRL by jumping in the middle of it and calling everyone cunts. It's works the same way here. And Monty is like that with everyone.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Is it not obvious?
Just click reply on the post you are directing your impotent fury ONLINE at. Not the one you expect your post to appear below.

I can draw pictures if you like.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)
pictures yes please

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)
ha we are the same person
but I'm the nicer version, like good cop bad cop.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)
I break 'em down, probably with a whip and some spike heels. And then you make them cupcakes and tell them everything will be alright
And then they end up confessing everything while crying into your shoulder. And then we sling 'em back in the cell and go for beers to celebrate another job well done. And the credits roll over a freeze frame of us clinking glasses and laughing.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:54, Reply)
I want to see this made into a film.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)
^this
There's not enough time in the day to watch all the stuff that gets recommended to me.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)
fuck no
The characters are without exception. Unfortunatly there's dozens of them so it takes a while to learn them all.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)
yeah that's what I thought
it was all so forced, it felt like you were just having "these guys are hardened cops, dammit!" rammed down your throat every minute of every episode.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
'I'm doing this MY WAY - to hell with the DA!'
Yawn, yawn, yawn.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
I'm out of order?
You're out of order! The whole freaking system's out of order!!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)
'I'm getting too old for this shit'

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)
'shit just got real'

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)
Yeah but Kitty you hate BSG
so your opinion on TV is null
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)
Mind Pissssssssss

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)
you're both wrong.
Maybe you're cyclones.

*I said that to upset Psychochomp*
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
Yeah but you can't stand Battlestar.
So now I want to try it.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)
You haven't watched the wire?
I don't know why I even bother talking to you.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)
I'll get in here before someone else says something meaner -
cos you fancy her
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)
that was before I met her.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)
I find that there's a sliding scale of faults vs hotness
The hotter the woman, the easier it is to overlook her faults, depends on the severity of the fault

Ms Foxtrot, for example, likes Gwen Stefani. She's THAT hot
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)
I get away with liking Girls Aloud
ha.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)
Girls Aloud are infinitely superior to Gwen Stefani for the following reasons
a) 40% of them are lengthworthy, an improvement of 40% on Stefani
b) They're aware that they're nothing more than mindless pop and don't consider themselves to be "artistes"
c) None of them married Gavin fucking Rossdale in an apparent attempt to create the most talentless child ever
d) Their songs are occasionally quite good. Very good in the case of The Show and Something Kinda Ooh

If liking Girls Aloud is your greatest fault then you're categorically less attractive than Ms Foxtrot, according to the sliding scale. Oh, and Wiggy is a lucky man
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
I liked No Doubt
you're mean.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)
I was about to say this.
No Doubt were awesome. So at least Gwen Stefani was good at one point.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)
I never said owt about No Doubt
Only Stefani as a solo "artist". However, now you come to mention it, No Doubt were crap
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
frankly though
I would still slip her a length
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)
You're weird

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)
It's called straight.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)
Dear god,
PSYCHOCHOMP MADE A JOKE AND IT WAS FUNNY.
EVERYONE,COME SEE THIS!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)
I clicked I like this when he posted it
credit where it's due
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)
ooh you ain't lyin!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Cheers love

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)
Did you turn him down as he charged at you with his best uber smarm face and pervy lip licking action?
He's like a limited edition Action Man this boy.... I'm surprised he hasn't got a plastic hawk that launches off his forearm when he's aroused.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)
You're welcome treacle.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)
I'm so hungry.
I want flapjack.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)
He's posting on /talk at the moment.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)
I'll head over there

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)
Cos you wanted to sleep with me.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Haha

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)
I tried it yesterday
and I couldn't understand a word, so I gave up after 20 min.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)
He's a one isn't he.
We never use to get many mass killers in the UK but they're certainly coming out of the woodwork now. I blame the Conservatives.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)
inflammatory remark is inflammatory
*must resist*
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)
: )

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)
The thought of him in his bivouac,
injecting himself with steroids and tanning drugs (I’d no idea the latter was possible), doing press-ups and composing his 8-page, rambling letter threatening the police, has had my brother and me in fits.

AND he robbed a CHIP-SHOP. ‘Give us everything in the till, reet, and a large chips and curry sauce, pet’

Superb fellow.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)
I know.
Kill some people including a policeman and then rob a chippie. He started on a high and seems to be declining. He'll be taxing 8 year olds for their dinner money next.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)
He's only just got out of the nick for something similar

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)
Thought he'd only killed one?
So not even a mass murderer yet.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)
Ex's boyfriend and policeman.
I think killing a policeman counts as five normal citizans.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)
Thought the rozzer had survived?

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
he did

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
My mistake.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
I'm sure he'll try & shoot a few more
then it'll be "no copper's going to take me alive" BAM.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Nah, he claims that
But the cops will jump him while he's taking a shit, and he'll be dragged out with minimum fuss, keks round the ankles, crying and shitting like a baby.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)
I wish more criminals were apprehended in this fashion

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
It did in Syndicate Wars

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)
great game

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)
Agreed

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)
I've only ever seen a couple of people who have had the tan injection
and it made their skin as dark as an Indian's, it was unbelievable. It just seems like such a bad idea. There was one guy in the news who had it done and even his eyeballs went darker. HIS EYEBALLS!!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)
I loved Moon, the film.
alt A: not at all he's a murderer.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)
I've been toying with the idea of watching Moon
would you recommend it to someone like me?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)
It's ok.
Worth a watch I think.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)
Old fashioned sci fi.
I think you'll like it.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)
cool, thanks

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)
I've had it recommended to me
So you'll like it.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)
that's fairly conclusive

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)
I enjoyed Moon
Though, without trying to give too much away for Vipros' sake, I was a bit disappointed that they went down the conspiracy-theory sort of route rather than a 2001-style psychedelic headfuck. Very good though.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)
Moon
was really good as well. This will sound wierd but it felt like how a movie should be. haven't articulated that very well but made me feel young again watching it.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)
I sort of know what you mean
and I like that sort of experience.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
Wrapping myself in tinfoil and then getting dogs to try and bit me.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)
Best things I've experienced have mostly been thanks to b3tans
Christopher Brookmyre and Bigelf to name a couple of things.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)
Moat appears to be acceptable at hide & seek. However he must try harder to achieve more fatalities. 4/10

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)
He's not finished yet!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)
He's not even the top story on the bbc anymore.
He's failed.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)
I thought that this morning
Yesterday's news already.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)
I'm trying to keep his name 'out there'

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)
What do you think he'll rob next? Kebab van? Pizza Delivery bloke?

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)
This year I've become addicted to My name is Earl.
And hair accessories.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)
I'm not saying
because you'll all take the mickey and bully me something rotten :(
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)
Is it Glee?
I bet it's Glee.

I bet you now constantly sing about any problems you have and push disabled people around whilst doing jazz hands.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)
It IS Glee!
*sings*

I am a disabled cheerleader and single pregnant mum,
perhaps I should have let him use my bum...

*jazz hands*
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
I need your hetrosexuality badge and gun by the end of the day, Sargent Poncelord will issue you with your feather duster and ducky walk.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Darth!
You're needed over here.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)
*minces over*
*bursts into song*
DON'T STOP... BE-LIEEEEV-IN'...
*bows*
*retreats hastily*
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)
Darth?!?!? He's called PC Clickfingers-Andmince to you young lady...
EDIT:
Darth?!?!? He's called PC Clickfingers-Andmince to you young lady...

well, I didn't really need to add this in the end did I?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)
No-one does my press for me!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)
++BUMDER ALERT++BUMDER ALERT++
ANOTHER BUMDER HAS REVEALED HIMSELF (NOT LIKE THAT, YOU PERVERTS) AND IS KNOWN TO BE IN THE AREA. BERT HAS INADVERTENTLY OUTED HIMSELF AS A BUMDER IN A STING OPERATION DURING WHICH HE ADMITTED TO HIS LOVE OF THE SINGLE MOST BUMDERISH THING ON THE TELLY RIGHT NOW. WOULD THE MASSIVE BUMDER KNOWN AS 'DARTH FOXTROT' (CHRIST THAT'S A BUMDERISH NAME) PLEASE MAKE HIS WAY OVER TO THIS THREAD TO DISTRACT THIS RECENTLY OUTED BUMDER WITH A GOOD THOROUGH BUMDERISING. ONCE YOU HAVE BUGGERED ONE ANOTHER SENSELESS YOU SHOULD HOPEFULLY BOTH BE SPENT AND THEREFORE NO LONGER A THREAT TO THE REST OF OUR POSTERIORS. BUMDER ALERT. BUMDER ALERT.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
You enjoy this far too much.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)
I do.
But something's got to give my life some purpose, even if that something is exaggerated casual homophobia.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)
Better than charity work anyway.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)
It makes me piss myself every time
Especially when it's not aimed at me!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)
you already admitted to dancing in your pants whilst singing along to the little mermaid
what can be more embarrassing than that
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)
I've admitted that repeatedly on B3ta
it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I have recently taken an interest in something which I have been told off on B3ta for not liking before.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)
Vanilla sex?

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)
I like vanilla more than any other kind
what do you take me for?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)
A pervert.
Duh!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)
I'm not entirely sure
where you would have gotten that impression from
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)
I've been reading between the lines.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
Utter pish-posh
I'm really quite the prude
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)
aww *snugglywugglyhugglecakes*

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)
I reckon, right
I could probably fist you
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)
probably not actually!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)
I have Beadlehands

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)
sexy

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
I bet I could fit my thigh in your bot bot.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)
you've probably got pretty skinny thighs....

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)
I've got girl's legs.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)
in a suitcase under my bed.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)
Your legs look like spare ribs
that have been eaten by a dog.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
Your legs look like a roll of lino that was left out in the rain.
I bet your thighs touch when you sit down.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
I hope it's refrigerated

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
hehe no :)
they're smelly :D
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
and squidgey I hope!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)
yeah :D

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)
The Sopranos
but that's just this week. How strict is the timeframe? It must be over a year since I discovered Battlestar Galactica. RUNNING. I've discovered running. And I actually quite like it now.

Of course, I was forced to take it up, as am trying to raise money;

uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=martinandclaire
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

as am trying to raise money;
the arse.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)
excellent strikethrough

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)
Don't boost his ego
excellent surprisingly good
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)
STOTD!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)
Bridget Regan
I'm just sorry the tv show she is in is likely to be cancelled after the second series :-(
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)
hmm...I guess I'll say Drop Dead Diva
because I watched about 7 episodes in one hungover mess day and now I can't stop watching it
I even threw a massive BF when I found out they removed first season from on demand. cunts
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)
Southern Comfort.
and Emilie Autumn.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
Emilie Autumn
is hella hot!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Hells yeah she is.
The things I would so to her...
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)
Wait in line, pal
You can have whatever's left of her when I'm done.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)
Damnit!
Leave me something to work with. Something more than just a stocking and some hair-falls.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)
Ok, I'll leave her intact, just exhausted
So maybe feed her up and rehydrate her before you tuck in?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)
*googles*
She's all makeup and corsets. Strip it all away and she'll look like a million other women walking the street.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)
Take the paint off the Mona Lisa, and it's just canvas
Leave Emilie Autumn in the hair, make-up, fishnets and corsets, and I'll break my cock off inside her.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
Why don't you just get your missus to dress up a la Emilie?

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)
She doesn't like that look
And won't wear a corset unless I buy her one.
*Considers placing an order with Kitty*
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
Tell her it's give and take in relationships.
She dresses up and you stop peeing in the shower.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)
It's not just the look,
It's the voice, the attitude, the talent...
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)
Damn right
She's a talented little fire-cracker.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)
the mental problems and history of abuse...

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)
I love Misery Loves Company

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)
And Thank God I'm Pretty

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)
Manic Depression and Shallott are my favourites.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:19, Reply)
This'll do.
We can eat cupcakes and drink rum-laced tea together as foreplay. It would be magnificent.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)
In a Victorian/Alice in Wonderland style setting?
HOT.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)
Yep.
I picture myself in an outfit like this:
www.vecona.de/index.php?page=collection&article=262
or this
ny-image1.etsy.com/il_430xN.151958469.jpg
EA will be still be wearing what you left her with. All tattered and ripped from your manic passion.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)
^^This has made my day

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)
it's made your hole weak

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)
aww yeah
would.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)
You're after Applebite
Thank you for waiting patiently.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)
She'll need patience,
I'll be a while. Unless you want to join the tea party, Kitty?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)
I find my lack of invite,
even if only to serve you tea while dressed in top hat and tails, upsetting.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Oh, ok. You can be our butler.
I want slightly worse for wear tails though and a dented top hat, like you've hit hard times. And you need a pocket watch that doesn't work.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)
Done
I'll throw a bit of dust and lint on the tails, and one shoe will have a flapping sole.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)
This is going to be the best thing EVER.
I wish I was an awesome artist, and then I could draw it like it looks in my head. Same with the portraits in the other thread.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)
yes please
sorry for delay, was doing actual work n shiz.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Billy Bragg (saw him live at a small gig a few months ago as part of an anti BNP protest I went to).
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Good lord.
I've just realised I remember when he was an Angry YOUNG Man.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)
he was excellent - he played a 30 minute set "unplugged". I had avoided him before this & now regret it

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:46, Reply)
hershey's cookies'n'cream
best of all the chocolates.

except maybe white chocolate toblerones. why don't they sell those big triangular bitches outside of dutyfree??
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)
Hershey don't make chocolate
they make solidified bilge scrapings

you fucking heathen
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
I concur entirely
Rachel, please report to sanitization to have your taste buds cleansed with vindaloo
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)
FUCKING TOO RIGHT!
Last time I went to the States, a copper on the course gave me some Hersheys and said "How'd you like the taste of real 'Merican chocolate?". It took all my willpower to not tell him the truth, that it tastes of bile.

The two American trainers, who've been to the UK, both admitted that Cadburys tastes far far better.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)
it's revolting
my ex brought some back from a holiday in america. Everything about it was grim. the gritty, fake texture, the repulsive taste.

bleurgh.

I have recently discovered that Ritter Sport is the king of chocolates.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)
you are all correct
for the milk chocolate. rancid. but the WHITE chocolate stuffed with cookie pieces is like a multiple back arching nipple stiffening screaming panting orgasm for the tongue. trust me.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
you still made an error in your opening statement
no white chocolate can be considered to be even close to best of all the chocolates.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
You Chocolate Supremacist

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)
In fact
It's barely chocolate at all.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)
And you wonder why you get
weird gazzes off random internet users!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)
Cadbury's is wank
Galaxy is where it's at.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)
puke, who the hell talks like that?
also, hersheys is crap, only thing they make decently is chocolate syrup, everything else sucks
also, I quite like green and blacks
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:45, Reply)
I don't like the annoying smugness that comes from people who eat green and blacks

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)
Their vanilla chocolate is fantastic.
And so rich you can't eat a full bar.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)
not sure I'd like that

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)
It's good if you want to lose weight.
You get a chocolate fix but don't have to eat loads of it.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)
I find willpower works for that
;-)
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)
Pfft!
Is that why you were a fatty for so long?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)
no
that's because I drank loads of booze and didn't do any exercise
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)
I find weight myself, then crying while eating pizza
and cutting myself doesn't actually work.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)
Mmmmm pizza
I haven't had any pizza in such a long time...
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)
the dieting version
of "The Lord's Prayer" wank?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Newflash: Pot meets Kettle, exclaims "BLACK!"

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)
it just means I am privy to the subtle nuance of other peoples smugness that may escape the rest of you

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
I'm less smug about the fact that I ate some, more smug because it was sent to me from Scotland.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)
that's fair enough.
I wasn't accusing you of being smug about it in the first instance. I realise that it probably looked like that though.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)
I don't think so, I was just mentioning it

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:51, Reply)
The Doctor

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)
You've got a new GP?

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
That as well
But I understand how I lived without him before, as he isn't brilliant, really.

I want a TARDIS!!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)
Stop.
You are making me blush!
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)
"ah reet, is that the police?"
"you'll neva tak me alive, right? Ah totally shot op me ex's fella, reet? It were well mint, like. Shaeme that copper lived, but ah'm totally gonna shoot me another one an' he'll not be as lucky, like. You'll do well to find us, cos I'm all camoflaged an' that. Ah'm in the woods an' all brown an' that.

Reet man pet man pet"

I struggle to take the North seriously.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)
The most chilling aspect of this whole Raoul Moat case is what the police are saying:
"We believe Mr Moat to be a measured individual whom appears to carefully plan his actions and is comfortable in an outdoor environment"

Whom? Whom? It should be "who"! What kind of sordid deviants are these who would claim to maintain law and order and keep the rest of us safe from cheeky chappies like Moat?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)
Raoul Moat is a promising newcomer
at his debut, he showed passion, commitment, a good use of space and an ability to avoid his markers. He should coach the England football team.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)
And he has a quirky name.
Do you think that's his stage name?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)
More like a Nom De Guerre

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)
It kind of sounds like a porn name.
But that might just be the Raoul bit.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)
Ha!
"Hello, i've come to fix your...new boyfriend"
"What a large weapon you have, I hope it wont go off in my face"
BOOM-CHICK-A-WAH-WAHHH
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
I love this!

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)
Just checked out your profile pic of you flipping the bird at the Queen
that has to be one of the worst likenesses I have ever seen. Waxworks are often shit, but that is right-royally piss poor.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)
It's a Tussauds
At Warwick Castle. Looked like it was getting on a bit, mind.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)
You can tell cos its tits are all saggy.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)
why aren't you writing comedy scripts for the bbc
seriously you are wasted as a beancounter.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Wasted talent
or talented waster?
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)
both?
that is always the best answer to most choices in life.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)
How's the masters course going?
are you hoping to become a published author? (Put me down for a pre-order)
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
fancy you remembering that
i am blushing. yes, that is the long term plan, although i seem to have ended up doing drama next year (i am writing a tongue-in-cheek comedy about dating), so you might have to be my date at my west end premiere first if that is ok? you can bring the chicken, she'll look great on the front cover of "heat".
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)
not something that I can't live without
but I did nearly do a little wee when watching the teenagers' sex education thing on CH4 last night. Hilarious...
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
Was it a sex wee?

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:13, Reply)
No
Not on this occasion....
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:45, Reply)
Hmm
TV: Bones & Chuck
Band: Heaven Shall Burn & Volbeat
Charlie Brooker, in all forms.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
I love the police statement...
"Det. Ch. Supt. Neil Adamson said he had a "gut feeling" Moat was still in Rothbury but admitted he may have "fled the area"."
That narrows it down doesn't it? I wish I had the skillz to deduce Moat was 'there' or 'somewhere else'.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)
I have been to a meeting and haven't read all these yet
But can I just say that Raoul Moat is brilliant, and very elusive, and well mental and hard.
But Derrick Bird had more shots on target.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)
alright kid

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Alright pal

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)
Yes, Moat is very much the Emile Heskey of the run amok murder world.

(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:54, Reply)
I can't agree with this
she mentioned the words brilliant and hard.

Heskey is neither of these. He's a retarded cripple.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:03, Reply)

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