Fame !
Dan Le Sac v S.Pip just posted on their facebook that if anyone can be in Brick Lane on thursday afternoon, you can email them and appear in their new video.

Deatils: www.facebook.com/lesacvspip

Tell me about your brushes with fame !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:46, 226 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I used to play kiss chase with Kevin Whately's daughter.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Shame nobody had told her she was playing it.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:49, Reply)

She was chasing me boy.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I bet she was.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I'm going to ignore any possible sarcasm in that comment
and thank you for the compliment.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)

I was only being half sarcastic.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I only half hate you then.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)

awesome.
better then fully hating me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)

You have a son?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Dad?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Michael Owen & Gary Lineker filmed an advert at my old school
Which is the same school that Ben Kay went to!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)

I'm Jack Nicholson.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:49, Reply)

no way!
I'm Jack Nicholson too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I AM SPARTACUS

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I'M BRIAN BLESSED

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I shared a resort in Egypt with Steven Seagal for a week
He was fat. His wife had big fake breasts.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Him and Jaun Clawd Van Dayum are well gutted about being left out of The Expendables.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)

they shouldn't have been so shit then
JCVD even made a film about the fact that he was shit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I thought JCVD was in Expendables...

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)

The film should play out as usual, and then, right towards the end, you should just see him standing on a box of TNT, turn to the camera and go "I'm Jau...." BOOM.
It'll be completely irrelivent to everything that's gone on.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)

I was wrong he's not in it.
Charisma Carpenter is though, I haven't seen her around for AGES
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

she was in an episode of Legend of the Seeker that I watched recently
she hasn't aged all that well. Then she got brutally killed.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)

she didn't young all that well, either
she was only really notable because of her boobs.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

but what a pair of boobs
she was quite nice in Angel I thought.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

her face
was all angles. Not my cup of tea.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I would love to see that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)

I donno, I'm just joking.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)

I once sucked-off John Leslie while getting my arse licked by a high-class call girl.
The video was accidentally leaked, then I got my boobs done and now I've got a whole career from being a vacuous tart.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I had a pint with Chris Shifflett.
Nice bloke.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

1999 Fulham.
Jill Dando beat me to a parking space, the cheeky fucker.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)

I met Jake from Hollyoaks
at a festival.

He's a jerk.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)

I met the one gonz fancies from hollyoaks
she was very nice actually.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)

According to the adverts, there are LOADS of new people joining.
I'm not sure if I can take this new-character over-load at once.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I watched about 10 seconds of Hollyoaks last night
it's still fucking awful
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)

They peaked at the gay rape scene in the first 'late night special'.
"I bet you're loving this, you queer bastard!"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)

eh?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Did you not see it?
They made a big song and dance about it being the first Late Night Hollyoaks, and swore mildly yet completely needlessly. It culminated with Luke (I think) being raped by the bully guy over the bonnet of his car. The bully even quoted the above line.
Luke then tried to kill himself, ineffectually.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Sounds like an average day on b3ta

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I remember that at the time, I might see if I can download it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Nancy?
Wiggy fancied her until she stopped being a little rock chick, now she's boring. I saw five mins of it last night after the Simpsons, I didn't think you could fit that many vapid bints into one programme.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Yeah I met her at a gig in MK
I let her get served first then I gave her a weird look of recognition and she said "yes I'm on telly" and I went "oh right" and that was it.
/blog
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:15, Reply)

An ex of mine
once collared Simon 'Fast Show' Day in a club, convinced she knew him from somewhere. It was excruciating.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I insulted a Jordan look-alike behind her back
Turns out it was Jordan.
I've also met Philippa Forester when she filmed at my school, and Dame Judi Dench when she stood outside Dixons (where I worked) to watch the Shakespeare's birthday parade.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)

*high fives*
for slagging off Jordan :)
What about telling the Queen to fuck off? Should you not include that picture on this thread too?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

I've posted it before ;)

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I'm in a People Under The Stairs video.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Pfft that's nothing.
Y'know my girlfriend's brother's mate, the one that's a butcher? Well, his dog was in a Housemartins, video, possibly "Five Get Over Excited"
(Cave Duck, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I've met lots of singers.
Probably not anyone you people would know, though.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:12, Reply)

There is a singer and song writer
who I really like and admire, Jorge Drexler: www.jorgedrexler.com/ (you might remember him for being the first Uruguayan ever to win an Academy Award. He won for composing the song "Al Otro Lado del Río" from The Motorcycle Diaries, first time a song not in English wins too.)

Anyway, I was at the airport, waiting for my plane in Madrid, and it was late. In front of me there was a group of 3 people, with guitars, playing some of Jorge Drexler's music. They're doing it very well. I was so, so tempted to go, sit down in the floor with them, and sing along. I just stopped myself because my mother was there, and I'm too shy.

Then, Jorge Drexler appeared. It seems those three guys were part of his band. I looked at him, so excited. I wanted to talk with him, but didn't want to look like one of those silly girls. I wanted to be all cool and that. So the conversation went like:

Me: Hi, you're Jorge Drexler, aren't you?
JD: Yes, I am.
Me: Cool. I love your music.
JD: Thanks.
Me: I have all your CDs. Well, no, not all of them. I haven't had time to buy the last one, sorry.
JD: No, it's ok. That's fine...
...
JD: So... this kid here is my son
Me: Really? Wow... (talking to his son) So he's your father? Cool!
...
...
Me: Well, I'm leaving now. Bye.
JD: Bye.

I think it would have been less embarrasing if I had just shouted his name and asked him to sign my t-shirt.

Ay...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)

My mother nearly went to the wedding of one of the Nolan sisters.

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:20, Reply)

WINNAR

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I know.
I still get giddy when I think about it.
( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:27, Reply)

My father had lunch with Jilly Cooper
Things did not go well. He was rude about her 'work'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

work Vagina
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I nearly went to the wedding of Norris McWhirter's daughter.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Joint winnar with Blousie!
Here, have a lolly..........
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I DID go
to the wedding of Prof Heinz 'Great Egg Race' Wolff's son.

Form a orderly queue for my autograph, people.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:30, Reply)

I hope you were not intending to wear a black balaclava

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Every time I wanted to speak
I had an actor say my words for me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Ooh, was it that guy off Murphy's law.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Bizarrely, it was Gerry Adams.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Cheers, that's the first laugh I've had for a fortnight.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Sounds like my life.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I've met Black Stone Cherry, Lonestar and Dommin
And I once saw Ricky Tomlinson in Liverpool Airport.

Apparently I served someone from Coronation Street at my old job as a waitress but I had no idea since I don't watch that shit.

EDIT: I went to the same primary school as Paula Radcliffe.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I sold Ian Beale microwavable sausages
when I was young working in Sainsburys.

I also once met Martin Johnson as he was in my bank trying to get young people to get fit (with permission from said bank). He was lovely. Also met Steve Redgrave as I used to row and he was properly awesome too
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I sold him a shelving system about 2 years ago.
He is, entirely unsurprisingly, a cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:27, Reply)

We have so much in common Monty
(and yes he was really impatient and bogeyed)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:29, Reply)

More so than you know.
My involvement with the cardboard box industry is very deep and goes back 15 years.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

We should get together and discuss fluting

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)

flut trombon
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

is that bog-eyed or bogey-ed?

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

whichever you prefer :p

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Did the sausage label say "prick with a fork" by any chance?
/the old ones are the best...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

My Uncle (and my Dad for a couple of weeks)
Lived with all the members of Queen at University. My Dad only stayed a few weeks as he couldn't cope with the parties (straight laced old fella he is). Apparently at that time Freddie was balls deep in pussy.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I read that as your Uncle was your dad for a couple of weeks
and wanted to know the Jeremy Kyle type backstory.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I can't even imagine the incestuous orgy of doom that would make that happen

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

pfft

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

why pfft?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

My old schoolmate's mum
lived upstairs from Mott The Hoople when they lived in Maida Vale.

I didn't have the heart to tell her they were fucking shit. The same woman left when Hendrix came on at the Isle of Wight Festival in 1970 because he was 'too loud'. What a knob, eh readers?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)

at last!
aged 15 met Gary Glitter at the Liverpool Royal Court Theatre - was there to see The Alarm.My Dad once sat behind Alex Higgins on a plane. Brushed past Kevin Whately in our local Waitrose. Met Eddie the Eagle in a local petrol station.I nearly touched Jason Connery when I was a film extra (Secret Life of Ian Fleming).Gary Owen who used to play for Man City in the 70's - his auntie lived a few doors away from us in St Helens. All of this is overshadowed by the appearance of my dads sister and her then husband, on Opportunity Knocks, circa '69 before arrival of my cousin!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I would imagine
meeting Glitter as a 15 year old girl, seeing The Alarm would have been comforting.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:41, Reply)

15's too old for the Glit'ster

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Max Clifford got my mum a burger in a really posh restaurant in the 80s

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Which story was she flogging at the time?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Haha no, she worked for a PR company
and her boss was making fun of her saying basically that her being scouse and naive, she would want a burger, but "they don't do them here, ooh, what will you have???" so Max Clifford said "She can have a bloody burger!" and asked them to make her one and it was the best burger she'd ever had. She'd really wanted the steak though...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I TOTALLY snogged Mark Chadwick from the Levellers
have I mentioned that before?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Alex james
Oh and wormulus' mum fucked sting. I'm sure he'd tell you if he was here.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:41, Reply)

'I fucked Wormulus' mum', he'd say.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

pesky Becky...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Jealous much?
Oh, in that trendy bar/club down Hardman Street, my mate got chatted up by Mr Cunningham from Hollyoaks. She declined, but he remained persistent.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

As in the dad Mr Cunningham, not Max?
We're always seeing Hollyoaks folks.

And yes, totally jealous of Becky. I met him in 1997 but we were both with our girlfriends. I bet he would have totally been up me otherwise ¬_¬
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Yes, the Dad, the slaphead
Oh of course Roota, he'd be crawlin' up your hosiery to get twixt your delicate lady-petals.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I had on lovely hosiery too
And a new top
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

They would have been laddered
From the unseemly display of carnal prowess that would surely have occurred.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I know yeah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Ah well, what could have been, eh?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Becky said he wasn't all that anyway

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

That was with her
With you it'd have been different. You know that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Why didn't I realise this
Of COURSE!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)

He later told us that was a lie.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Who, Sting did?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Wormo
He brought it up at dinner and his mum decided that he made it up to impress his friends at an early age.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Did it impress his friends?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

lets face it, he didn't have friends at school.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

So.
First he made up the Sting story - then he had to make up some friends to tell the story to.

Bless him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I had an argument
With former 'Point West' weather man Tony Target.

He'd said the night before on the local news that it was going to be sunny the following day, whereas it was actually a bit overcast.

What a cunt.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I've been clubbing with James Dean Bradfield.
Nice fellow, awful records. He proudly told my mate Nick he was 'up to five wanks a day'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I couple of guys I went to school with had a bet over who could do the most in a day
I think the winning one was 9 and he had to stop as it had changed from pleasure to pain after the 6th one.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Bradfield was sensible stopping at the 5 mark, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

As a lazy man
I have seldom been past 2
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I went to school with had a bet over who could do the most in a day
I think the winning one was 9 and he had to stop as it had changed from pleasure to pain after the 6th one
they were up to no good,
started making trouble in my neighbourhood,
got in one little fight and my mum got scared,
said you're moving with your aunty and uncle in bel air
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

10/10

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I've pissed on Noel Gallagher's shoe.
It was a suede Gucci loafer too.

/proud
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

If I knew how to do strikethrough I would replace shoe with face

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

This is the best thing I've ever heard.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

He knew it was deliberate, too.
But as I am a full 2' taller than him he said nothing. Then my mate fell in the Virgin Records pond.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I whole heartedly approve.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

-
only partially about correcting your spelling more about seeing if I can strikethrough a space
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

good lad

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

::applauds::
I've always been a bit dubious of you Monty, but I think now that I may actually love you a little.
(berk, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I'd have oreferred it to have been Liam's shoe

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

So would I, but he wasn't there.
My brother and his crusty squatter mates once chased Liam Gallagher through Manchester town centre, shouting abuse and pelting him with empty Special Brew cans. He hid in a shop 'til they'd gone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)

he stood in a toilet in Liverpool shaking people's hands for about an hour and wearing a John Lennon hat/badge combo
Shithouse
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Geoff Boycott!
At a rained off one day game in the late seventies.

Gloucestershire's three overseas players were stood about near the refreshments tent but weren't having anything to do with the supporters. Then Boycott appeared and started signing autographs, I think my edition of Geoff Boycott's Book For Young Cricketers must have made a welcome change from the scraps of paper being thrust at him as he stopped and gave me an approving look, probably thinking "out of all these kids, this the one most likely to become a great criketer". I say "probably" because no words were actually exchanged due to us both being proper Yorkshiremen, and not gay or owt.
(Cave Duck, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I've sat on a draining board and sung the Everly Brothers in harmony with Richard Hawley
after vacating a sofa where Crispin Hunt was annoying me with his opinions and ego.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

The girls from dismal novelty act Shampoo
once threw up simultaneously in my mate's sink, whilst I was getting a drink from the fridge. They'd been at the Pernod.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

"Pernod" - Just about says it all.
Specifically designed to make idiots that don't know any better vomit profusely.

On a similar note we went back to a chaps flat in Dublin after a Pan sonic gig, with one half of said Finnish industrial minimalists and purveyors of the finest, 'is that music?', music in the whole world. The guys flat it was rolled a fairly stacked reefer that Ilpo had a go on and then immediately went to the toilet to be violently sick. It was a pretty surreal thing, sitting in a flat with 2 characters I had barely met, and 50% of Pan sonic vomiting loudly in the toilet.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

I once told the Kooks to fuck off at Leeds Festival,
Hung out with Howard Marks and had him recount endless stories with a free bar (one of the highlights of my old job).
Shouted "Sister-fucker" at Jake from Hollyoaks when he was boffin' someone's sister
Partied with Municipal Waste and Send More Paramedics
Told John Major the sausages were good at a Texan hotel
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Jake from Hollyoaks Bert Monkeysex
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Oh yeah,
I went to Anne Diamonds house for a Halloween party and taught Ian Beale's son how to do an NSP on a Cadet GP.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I've sold Dion Dublin electronics
I don't like football at all, but he was a charming, down-to-earth guy, not an egotistical wanker.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Reminded me that Steve Bruce
is a lovely fella and was very happy to chat to 5 over-excited schoolboys in Warwick Town centre once.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

My old flatmate
was taught how to ride a bicycle by FRANKIE HOWERD.

I have millions of these, it seems...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

When I last went to Romania
80s pop sensation and hat-laying vagrant PAUL YOUNG was at the airport with his band.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Oh man I loved him
I had a badge of his autograph. it came free with the Bunty or the Suzy or the Mandy or the Judy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

my mate wrote a song that used to make John Peel cry because he loved it so much
He had to sing on a train that was named after him in Liverpool and meet his wife
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

was it called
'I'm fucking your wife behind your back, John Peel'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Oh you know it?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

It's quite catchy
*obligatory STI joke*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

For those into EBM/Industrial
I've met VNV Nation, Covenant and a chunk of Apoptygma Berzerk. VNV were nice, Covenant were polite, APB were tools.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

yeah I understood all of that.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

No need to get all sarcastic because you can't understand 'awesome'

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Do you remember the Spice Girls?
One of their videos was set in a forest with faeries and what not. There was a kid who jumped out of a box. That kid was my friend Jon Sturgess who is one of the best drummers I have heard (not as good as his brother) Yes he still get's shit for it.

EDIT - Bottom left www.video-clips.ru/uploads/posts/2008-11/1227981233_spice-girls-viva-forever.jpg
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Viva Forever
Those kids were dressed cool
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

thats the one, I was sat here just singing two become one to myself in the office!
I'm trying to find a pic
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

I was trying to remember the song
Not once in the whole period of me singing did a penis enter my mouth or bottom, or hand!!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Unpopular gay then?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)

or just fucking ugly

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

There there

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

shut up Bert

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Are you trying to turn "shut up Chompy" back around on others
In a 'meme-forcing' manner? Or do you actually believe I'm Bert?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

no I just had a momentary lapse of sanity.
It's knowing that he is here somewhere. I'm on edge.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Fair enough
Just don't fall asleep.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I've been on the boat from Howard's Way
and I used to live next door to Tolkien's nephew
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

My brother knew a Tolkein.
Died from smack, she did.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

the one we lived next to was a cunt
fucking family of scally arseholes.

Not like Roald Dahl who lived a couple of miles away. He was a top geezer.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Oliver Postgate
of 'Ivor the Engine' and 'Noggin the Nog' fame lived down my road in Winchester. I'd like to say he was a kindly, twinkly old man who loved children, but unfortunately he was a miserable old cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

I met Phill Jupitus
at a festival a couple of years ago. He was completely off his tits and stole my cornetto.
(berk, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Whenever I hear someone's met PJ
They always describe him as off his tits. ALWAYS.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Big old fucking tits they are, too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I've heard this also

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Latitude?
Someone else on b3ta met him at Latitude and he tried to steal their fluffy bee toy.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I should have known Monty would have had lots of stories.
I have personal animosity with the daughter of a mancunian legend, but that's about it. One of my cousins is fairly big in the Catholic church and I met quite an eminent historian when I was staying at his official resident a couple of years ago. I was also in the St Winifred's School Choir.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

oh, and my best friend's fucked Ronnie Wood by proxy

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Sanjay from Eastenders
I dunno whether he was drunk or on drugs but he looked spaced out and was in a big white new romantic puffy shirt undone near to the navel.
VIP bar, Reading Festival 1999.
He LOVES himself.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

John Peel!
For some bizarre reason, that probably caused him to sack his booking agent, John Peel played a gig at Hornsea (small seaside town on the east coast) circa 1983.
He was getting a bit grumpy at the lack of response, expressing near disgust at having to resort to "Blue Monday" to get people on the dance floor.
I thought that I'd help him out (the preposterous-ness of the very notion only struck me later) by requesting something that I thought he liked and that might get people up. I plumped for something by Clint Eastwood and General Saint, as he seemed quite fond of them, and approached him at the end of his first set. Unfortunately when he turned to speak to me I became somewhat starstruck and couldn't remember what I was going to say. After much stammering, I eventually said "Could you play the new Icicle Works single please". I'm sure I saw his heart drop as he replied "I might, if I come back on."
(Cave Duck, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

IcicleWorkslolz

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I see drive past Frank Bruno on a regular basis, he's even taken to nodding at me as I wave at him
I recently chatted to Dave Lee Travis while he filled up his vintage Bentley at a local garage.

I chatted to Richard Noble while waiting for a flight. Lovely man very down to earth.

One of my R/C heli buddies is a studio guitarist and can be seen oggling one of the Saturdays behinds on one of their videos
( M o D, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Brett Anderson from Suede
turned up at my mate's party at six in the morning, wearing a gay velvet smoking jacket, quite clearly browned out of his lid. He sat down on the sofa and immediately everyone else there got up and walked off to avoid talking to him.

The fucking turd.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

He's an arsehole
According to my mate who used to tour with him as the support band.

Although laughing at smackheads is ace.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

My brother's two best mates killed one, once.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I'd love
to get into the killing smackheads game.

The squat we were in on friday, behind Old Street tube, had loads of hilarious wrong'uns and notrights. I was going to get a picture of me crouching over one that was out cold off smack, giving two thumbs up and a cheesy grin but my phone was dead.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)

On separate occasions 12 years apart
Pete Wiley has commented admiringly on both my nails and my fringe
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Wait, I'm guessing your age here
But wouldn't that make the 1st time an allegation of grooming?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Nah
I was 19 the first time
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Y'see I was being kind there

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Aw! Shucks dude ta.
But I think it's obvious ;)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Ed Simons from The Chemical Brothers
used to regularly call my flat at 3 or 4 in the morning asking for my flatmate. She's in bed, Ed, you fucking tosser - as was I until you called.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Have you ever met a red-haired girl called Pippa with a posh voice who works for a small record company?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Quite possibly. Fuck knows.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Yeah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I have? I see.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Dunno

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Bill Nelson!
Y'know of Be Bop Deluxe, Red Noise and err Bill Nelson fame.

He used to use a studio in a small place called Willerby for production work. My girlfriend spotted him when she was going to buy crisps (we'd been to see him a couple of times in the 6 months before this) she rang me at work to tell me. I rang my mate who was a much bigger fan then I was. A couple of hours later my friend rang me to say that we were meeting Bill Nelson in the pub later that night. He was a really nice bloke and regaled us with tales of what a nice bloke Alice Cooper was and how Be Bop Deluxe had been supporting Lynard Skynard andwould have been on the fateful plane, but got offered some headline shows of their own.
(Cave Duck, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

That Bloke Who Played Billy Corkhill in Brookside!
Walking in the centre of York in a manner wholly consistent with being that bloke who played Billy Corkhill in Brookside.
(Cave Duck, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I used to be friends with Steve Winwood's niece, Louise.
Owner of quite possibly the most fanstastic pair of bosoms ON EARTH.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Me and a friend
loudly called a girls coat disgusting and then relised she was one of The Saturdays and was with the rest of them blocking a cinema runway. She heard too, looked dead pissed off! Ha!

I have also been in the same room as lots of lovely famous people at premiers but have never spoken to them or put them in a bag and ran away laughing... yet.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)

and you pretend to be nice online,
bullying the Saturdays... tut
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Hahaha
She was the bitchy one that has no sense of humour anyways so fuck her!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I would if I could.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Nah you want that Frankie one
that's the one you want, according to the men-folk!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)

She is a fucking retard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Pixie Lott
I sold her a couple pills in Egg last March, I was well and truly in (I'm hardly ever well and truly in so I know when I'm well and truly in, ya dig?) until I asked her name and she told me. Pixie. I honestly thought I was going to burst I was laughing so much, thanks drugs, and then I took the piss out of her for about five minutes.

She sidestepped me and then my mate took her home and shagged her. Arses.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)

She has more than one arse?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Ha
Regardless of whether she does or not that's what I'm going to spread from now on to feel better about myself.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Sounds quite date rapey
to me at least
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)

She came upto me
asked if I had any pills to sell, and I did (well I had a couple spare) and we got talking. Not sure how that sounds date rapey.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I gave her drugs then my mate fucked her.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Meh
Druggies make their own messes so fuck her!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)

You're insinuating
quite a ridiculous idea. Not that I give a monkeys.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I once interviewed Aphex Twin for my old website
Back in early the 2000's, at a point where he had disappeared off the radar. I put the interview on the site and nobody believed it was the real deal.

Fannybaws, the lot of them.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Massive crack smoker these days.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Seriously?
You been leading him astray Monty?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:45, Reply)

I've heard it from two wholly disparate sources.
(not guilty guv)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Well if people you've interviewed count, then Adrian Belew.
After Frank Zappa's death a friend who was a big fan, had the idea of writing to various people who had worked with him or been influenced by him. He got a really nice letter back from Kent Nagano who was with Halle Orchestra at the time and rang me in a panic one Saturday morning as Adrian Belew had replied saying that he'd be happy to do a phone interview. We cobbled together some crappy questions and figured out that if we took feed from the two wire from the speaker of the phone and spliced them onto an input jack we could record it.
He turned out to be a really terrific bloke, very generous with his time and is a really great guitar player.
(Cave Duck, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 15:07, Reply)

I once stole Grooverider's weed
from his dressing room at the Cork Opera House. He refused to share any with us so the Herbaliser chaps and I robbed him during his set.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

I also once almost knockered over
Hermoinieie from Harry Potter when I lived in Oxford. She went to the all girls school opposite where I lived and loads of potter fans would loiter round the gates
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I'd fucking 'knock her over' I tell ya.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)

'knockering' over hermione from Harry Potter has made me have a little crisis at my desk
too many images of boobs and emma watson.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I met Craig Charles, really nice bloke
he was at that stage in his career where he had beat the rape charge, but hadn't yet been filmed smoking crack in the back of a Taxi.

Took the time to chat and everything. Gawd bless you lister.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I once bought Johnny Ball a pint
then mentioned that I wouldnt mind a go on his daughter...



I may have been a little tipsy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I read that as
'I may have been a little gipsy'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I would have been more impressed if you had said
"Your daughter is a talentless twat"

but he probably knows that.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)

it was about 17 years ago
And I was more in awe of the Think of a Number man
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)