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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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the previous thread was a bit big
and a bit full of people wanting to talk about/stalk about french lesbians for me. so as kitty asked for an update on my ass-toning trainers, and i had a 6.5 mile walk home in them last night, i can confirm that they are comfortable. do they work? well, when i got to the gym (AT 6.30AM CAN I JUST SAY) this morning, my legs and ass took one look at the cross-trainer and started screaming "you must be kidding." so i think they probably do work a bit. which is good because i really didn't think they would.

what gimmicky shit have you fallen for and did it work or not?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 9:58, 223 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Are they pink trainers?
I fell for Noel does that count? *winks at Noel*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:00, Reply)
they are mostly white and silver
with a bit of pink trim. they're ok looking until you notice the soles, then they do look a bit special. not too bad though!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:01, Reply)
I've seen the ads
They don't look as weird as those sketchers with MASSIVE soles
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:02, Reply)
erm...
... that's EXACTLY what i have!! they do look a bit special.

but i am actually really pleased with how they work, if nothing else they were so much money that i will actually walk a lot more!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:04, Reply)
Oh I thought you had the rebok ones!
I'm only bitter because the sketcher ones make me about 6'3"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)
+wide

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)
no
i'm a nobber because my brother gets a 40% discount on adidas/reebok. and i decided to buy all my gym stuff from john lewis without realising/thinking about this.

he worked out last night he could have saved me £150 if i'd bought it all from adidas directly. gash.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)
That, my darling, was a little foolish.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)
i know
i just got overexcited.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)
you could have purchased a lot of ciabatta for £150

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)
humph

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)
I'm pleased to be gimmicky shit.
*waggles eyebrows*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)
heeeeheeee
Roll on DGs bash!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)
Whoops, thread-stepped you there.
I think we all know the real reason behind this - and it's nothing to do with your trainers.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:03, Reply)
Hello Monty
*grins* How's you?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:04, Reply)
Hello there, young Badger.
I'm fair-to-middling, thank you. I trust you resigned successfully?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)
Not yet my boss is avoiding me in meetings so far

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:09, Reply)
Ooo resigning today are you?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)
HELL YEAH

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)
*high fives*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)
Come on you chicken-shit.
Your dinner's getting cold down here.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)
I thought you were going to do it yesterday?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)
No managment in yesterday!
fuckers
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)
I may have missed this but are you resigning?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)
I have been keeping it rather quiet

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)
Have you got a new job
Or you're going for the adventure?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)
She's going on the game on Seven Sisters Road.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)
I have no job
WOO. Yet. I will get one though. I have sent my CV to like a million jobs and some woman called me after seeing my cv on Monster so I felt headhunted woo!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
I'd offer you a job but I like you so I won't.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Thanks

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
blimey
from lesbians to rabid anal sex. it's all go on here this morning!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)
That's the way I roll. I make no apology.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:09, Reply)
no
you should be proud
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)
I am 'standing proud' at the moment just thinking about it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)
I've been thinking about getting some of those.
You'll never get me in a gym, so seeing as I walk a lot I thought they might be a good idea.
Also, I still have a secret longing for platform trainers (the 90s never ended for me) and these resemble my platform KangaRoos somewehat.
Therefore I'd have a healthy excuse to indulge my unfashionable yearnings.
I hope they do them in black.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:04, Reply)

You should get some of these
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)
Oh you little fucker
They are worse than the Human Centipede in the bwuuurgh stakes.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)
wrong on so many levels

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)
yes i think either reebok or skechers
do them in black. as i said above, they do make you walk more because you've bought them. do it!!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)
*DOES IT!*

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)
oh wait
that's nike isn't it?!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:09, Reply)
My new iPod has a pedometer on it, but I haven't figured out how to use it.
Google tells me I walk 2.4 miles every day to and from work though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:09, Reply)
Walk past a school and see if it flashes a red light.

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:09, Reply)
hahaha!
*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)
haha
that's an idea, they could fit peadophiles with collars that bleep when they go within 10 metres of a school.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)
A klaxon would be good too, I feel

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)
Or that would just constrict the closer they got to a school
*seethes about paedo cunts*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)
They could fit it
onto the scrotum.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Or, fit it up the arse, and when it hears the laughter of children, it expands to the size of a 50 inch plasma TV!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
Which, presumably
would be 50 inches.

Across the diagonal!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)
I got the fit flops but I can never wear them as the toe post gives me blisters.
Tourettes wears them all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:05, Reply)
so bad you had to post it twice

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)
I can't wear toe-posts either
An hour in flip-flops is enough
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)
nor me
russell and bromley had the most stunning crystal sparkly flipflops this summer. every single one was toe-posted. bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)
The Count Five wore capes and I fucking love them.
That was a gimmick so it counts, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:05, Reply)
can you get these magic shoes for men or is it exclusively for the Doris market?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:05, Reply)
Is this about 'Fakin' the Funk' by Main Source?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)
Bobby in not understanding what the fuck Monty is on about as usual shocker.
Sorry dude I only like Queen and Bowie.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:09, Reply)
You have not been charged for this call.
www.whosampled.com/sample/view/2675/Main%20Source-Fakin'%20the%20Funk_The%20Main%20Ingredient-Magic%20Shoes/
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)
oooo music link.
Will listen at lunch. After my daily fix of Modern Love.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)
You won't like it - it's excellent.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Sorry Monty it's bloody awful.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)
Nonsense.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
I'm not that interested in shoes
I rather preferred the French/Spanish pseudo-lesbianism.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)
Oh that's good
at least you don't look like a club footed spack for nothing!

I bought a blender and a recipe book for smoothies and spent a weekend making beautifully fruity concoctions.

Haven't touched it since.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)
i bought a blender and a tassimo coffee machine thing about a year ago
i have never used either.

it's like having a pasta-maker or an ice-cream maker... life's too short!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)
I gave my unused pasta maker to a friend a year ago.
They have never used it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)
I want a pasta maker
I reckon I'd use it, once life is back to normal and I have to comute only 1h each way.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
I'll ask my friend for it back if you're serious.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
I was in John Lewis last week getting a new whisk (my life is so exciting!)
and I did look longingly at all the coffee makers, they just look so awesome and fancy, like if I bought one I'd become some kind of high flying business exec woman who has hazelnut cappucinos and exotic pastries for breakfast rather than Sainsbury's instant coffee and last night's leftover spaghetti. I don't even like real coffee.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)
Sorry, you lost me at 'whisk'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)
don't lie, you read the whole thing
and then decided what would be the most scathing retort.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Sorry, you lost me at 'don't'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)
I don't like any kind of coffee
It's minging.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)
Do you like coffee flavoured chocolates?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Not especially
I tend to leave them and the Turkish Delights until last. And if I have to share chocolates, I give them away!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
My mates girlfriend made really cool cup cakes last night
I wanted to get a photo so you could see but they just got eaten. She made us individual cupcakes and made mine look like a drum. Cake are it is impressive.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)
That's pretty cool
I found a shop with edible glitter in Manchester, I'm totally going to cover all my cakes in sparkly crap from now on.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Put normal glitter on Chompy's
Then call him Discoshit.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Haha harsh.
I'm going to put gold glitter on his because it'll accentuate the mango colour.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)
put Gary Glitter on Chompy's

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)
Shiny food ftw

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)
There is, or was
a pretty decent cookshop selling that type of stuff in the new arndale market. Failing that, hobbycraft does all that sort of stuff now.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)
yeah that's the one!
It's in the market surrounded by all the chavvy knock-off stores and the Chinese acrylic nail salons.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Heh, sounds about right
there are some interesting shops and cafe type places in there but most of it is the same old tat as the old market, just in shiny new surroundings. Shame. It's also a shame that there isn't a Lakeland or Hobbycraft in Manchester, you'd think with the trafford centre and everything there would be...
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
I know, I so badly want a Hobbycraft
but the nearest is sodding Warrington.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)
I have a tiny, mini food processor
Which I use to make smoothies. I have a habit of buying all the fruit, yoghurt etc, having a week of smoothie heaven, then I keep forgetting to stock up during a Tesco shop for a month or so.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

food processor penis
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)
bravo

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)
I like your work
I shall watch your progress with great interest.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)
Yeah I do that
I'll have a weekend of drinking beautiful smoothies and I'll decide that it's my new way of life and I'm going to be a religiously healthy smoothie-making queen, until I run out of fruit and have to go back to drinking orange squash again.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)
Like my healthy eating episodes
They last about a week, then I run out of healthy food and am too lazy to to go to Tesco and deal with PEOPLE, so I order a pizza in, because I've been good and healthy and deserve a treat.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Wiggy won't eat healthy food. He tries to tell me that deep fat frying isn't that bad.
I've been trying to train my body to do the splits for over a year now and I'll do the stretchy exercises for a week religiously, then I'll forget. Same with situps, I'll be all "I'm going to get up early and do 50 situps before work", I'll manage it maybe twice.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)
'I know, I'll buy a couple of yoga dvds..'
'..and get up early and do 20 minutes before work!'

Pfft. I think I managed it ONCE.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
I did really well with doing my WiiFit for half an hour before work
but then I had to do loads of overtime instead and I want WiiFit too so I've convinced myself that I should wait until someone buys it me for my birthday.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)
I gave up on my 100 pressups and 200 situps challenges
I keep meaning to restart them, but meh, effort.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)
I got to week 3
my mrs bought one of those things that aid you in doing situps too. (ab-cruncher?) and it has mostly sat under the bed....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Week 3 for me too
It started to get really hard, so I caved.
Might restart it and see about looping week 3 until I can carry on.
No pain no gain, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)
My stomach is well aching today after doing the plank in pole class yesterday
and one of my students held it for ages so I had to hold it longer because it doesn't look very good if the teacher collapses after thirty seconds, wheezing and crying.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
my personal trainer
makes me do it on the power plate for added pain. ouch.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)
I never dared try the power plate when I used to go to the gym
I didn't know how to work it and I didn't want everyone staring. The few times I have seen people on it, they get into the strangest positions!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)
they're great
but only if you mix them with all the other stuff. you do see some muppets just sitting on them, expecting miracles. just switch them on and stand on your tiptoes, that's your calves done. but don't expect to be able to walk for the next 24 hours!

my colleague goes to a keep-fit class on powerplates, she says it's murder. and she does that 6am army training on clapham common, so she's pretty fit!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)
I could never do that bootcamp style fitness
I hate being shouted at and it doesn't motivate me.

I only like fun exercise like trampolining and dancing. I find Pilates and Yoga really good for relaxing rather than working out.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)
yeah
I could do with doing that too.

the stupid thing is it only takes about 5 minutes every couple of days and I still don't manage to find the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)
I know what you mean
It's too easy to forget, I need to set aside some time to do it.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)
yeah
if I could drag myself out of bed before the very last moment in the mornings I'd try and do it then.

I haven't been swimming in months either.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)
I hate them, the big metal thing that looks like of like a roll cage?
I find it much easier doing them on my own.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)
yeah, those things
I find it alright. my stomach muscles are shit though. too much time spent lurking under loads of flab
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)
I hate being a girl, I have stupid stomach and hip padding
which is completely unnecessary until I want a baby. My stomach is really strong so it should be a six pack, but it's hidden under my squidgy bits.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)
My female friend, who pole dances, has a six pack.
Your move.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)
i have bought so much gym stuff
for my flat that i have to use it or i'll cry thinking about what else i could have bought with all that money. ha, my boxing punchy kicky tube thing finally arrived last night. it's bloody massive. i don't actually know how i am going to get it out of the box.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
I had that very thought round yours this morning.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
hahahaha
you have excelled your own pervy self here
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)
I love my Kenwood
Apparently it's all about Magimix now, but my Kenwood does everything so I don't care.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
I was shocked to find that walking 6.5 miles in NORMAL REGULAR SHOES gives you a fine ass too.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)
If that's the case
Are you at the point where you can crack nuts by tensing your arse?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)
My testicles ache for this very reason.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)
Bought a breadmaker about 18 months ago
because it happened to match the other stuff I've got in my kitchen and was half price. I've never used it, but it does look nice...gathering dust...
I want an ice cream maker for christmas (yes, that matches too) and I probably won't use that, either.

On a plus note, though, I got my new phone on the basis that it was cute and gimmicky and thus far it has been totally awesome.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)
I've got both,
I use them occasionally but my mum has now nicked them.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)
The ice cream maker I may actually use
assuming I can find space for the bowl thingy in the freezer. It's still really stupid of me to go 'Oooh, shiny things!' and buy them on the basis of being gadgety and cool and then just never use them.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)
I wanted an icecream maker because I saw a recipe for Jack Daniels Ice Cream
but my stupid freezer is tiny so it wouldn't fit in.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Get one with a built in freezer,
the other ones are shit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)
Aren't they well expensive?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
They're a bit more expensive but not massivley.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
I'd eat that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)
Her freezer?
You strange, strange man.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Yes, I have this problem also
making ice cream will probably involve having to defrost peas or summat just so I've got room to get the fucker in the freezer. It's really only because I had hazelnut ice cream in Spain and it just isn't sold over here.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)
Two birds, one stone:
Pea ice cream.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
I made pea and mint soup the other day
it was quite nice cold, but I'm not sure I'd want it frozen and served in a cone...
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)
On Topic thread rape
What's new and cool in the world of trainers for men? need some new ones before Uni on Monday.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
All the kids are wearing those trainers with wheels in the heels.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)
That made me guffaw at top volume, you swine.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)
If they did heelies in a man sized 11 I would fucking buy them in a second.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

www.heelyskates.co.uk/

I refer you to the "what size should I get?" section
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
you beauty
I am buying some. I want these in my student life.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
you're going to slip over and crack the back of your head on the pavement.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)
fingers crossed

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)
I'll have you know
I have the grace, balance and poise of a ballet dancer.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)
and how often do you see ballet dancers on wheels?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Ahem
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)
good work

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)
haha
you can see her nipples.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)
...they do
I've seen them in sport soccer, I'm sure of it.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
Those ones with flashing lights should suit you

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)
Then how would I make my get away unseen?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)
You'll have to reserve noncing up to the supply cupboard, like all the rest

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
there is nothing new and cool in the world of trainers for men
here are the rules for buying trainers:

1. comfortable
2. £25 or below (usually from TK Maxx or online)
3. Not white
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)
£25 or under
no way! trainers are one thing I will spend a lot of cash on. Agree with points 1 and 3 though.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
I'll stretch to £40 for a decent pair of skate shoes
But yes, never ever white.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
I wear skate shoes almost exclusively
and have had no end of decent pairs of duffs and etnies etc. from TK Maxx for no more than £25.

I go through shoes way too fast to be able to afford even close to full price.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
I am the same as you but I have a few cheap pairs for
outdoor activities but then will spend about 60 - 100 sheets on a nice pair for socialising and what not.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)
No TK Maxx near me
And they generally have shit shoes in a size 10 when I do get to one. There's a place in Birmingham (The Oasis Centre) with a few independant skate clothes stalls, they tend to flog them a bit cheap.
I always wear the backs down on skate shoes...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
the internet is an excellent resource.
I've had skate shoes for £14 before.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
There are loads of ebay shops that sell BNIB skate shoes dirt cheap

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)
this is true
I've never found anything in my size that wasn't nasty when I've been looking though.

bad timing I suspect
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)
I bought some awesome vans last year for £8.75
Then I lost them...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
that sucks
I don't have enough shoes to be able to lose any
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)
Are you sure that's not RNIB?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)
Royal National Institute of Bastards?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)
Lifetime-membership five!

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)
Because of your mongwalk?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Because I never unlace them
Just mash my feet into them when putting them on.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
mong

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)
When I bought my new Converse I got my friends to step on me until the white bits were less white

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)
heathen

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Chav.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
of all the things you have called me this is the only time I've taken offence.
I am not a fucking chav. I just don't like seeing new shoes get scuffed on purpose.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)
I was actually gutted
When coming back from a night on the piss in the O2 academy in Bristol my shiny white and red converse were covered in Club Ick.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)
When I told my friends to start scuffing them up
most of them agreed that it needed doing, but one of them was all "I can't believe you're doing that, I would cry if that happened"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
I like them a bit scuffed
But not covered in Club Ick. I'll wash 'em when I can be arsed.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)
It's essential with Converse.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Vipros has hit the nail on the head
Designer trainers are a waste of money.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
I know shitloads about sneakers,
but seeing as everyone ripped on my Converse yesterday I'm keeping my knowledge to myself. In truth I know mostly about 1982-7 US 'kicks' but that's when all the classics were designed anyway.

Fuck you all.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)
stop calling them sneakers

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
These will suit you

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
Hahahahah

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
DCs are the best. Easily.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
way over-priced

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
but they're so pretty
and my DCs have all lasted years
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
my current Etnies are the best trainers I've had for ages
and I will be trying to find some more when these die
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)
I like Etnies for blokes
but girl etnies aren't that nice. I have some cute pink Duffs but Wiggy says I look like DeeDee from Dexter's Laboratory in them.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)
my mrs tends to wear blokes trainers as she has fairly large feet
what's wrong with looking like DeeDee?

you should prance around chanting "it's all you can say" repeatedly
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)
He says he thinks the DeeDee look is cute
but that I do indeed prance around the house making a mess and leaving a wake of destruction.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)
Sold to the man with the visa card online

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)
I do quite like those new Nikes

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)
only 55 quid too
I have never owned red trainers before. Some lovely new stuff on the route one website.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)
I don't see the wheels

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)
ordering those too
definitely. I will love that on campus. Fuck looking like a prick, I'm having my fun.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)
These look like the kind of shoes you would steal from a witch
You are a friend of Dorothy.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)
Hahahahahah bollocks. Big, sweaty, hairy bollocks.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
no one cares about your opinion anymore.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)
Vans!
VANS!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)
I've bought two pairs of Vans this month.
This doesn't automatically make them cool, but I like them.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)
I find Vans to be uncomfortable and prefer Etnies.
Looking at new Nike ones online, they are a bit tempting.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
it depends on which Vans you get
they have a few different types of sole, some of them are shit
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Agreed, hit or miss
The Fallen are good IME.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
think I had a pair of those a little while ago
they were good. aside from the superfluous velcro bit that happened to have my full first name on it for some reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
That's odd
I don't like velcro shoes. I'm a big boy now, I can tie laces on that wooden board no problem.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)
they were lace-ups
but they had an extraneous bit of velcro that went across the top.

I lost one of them though because I'd deemed them pointless and taken them off
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)
I like driving Vans.

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)
I like Van Gogh

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)
If you would care to post before and after pictures of your legs and ass
I would be happy to offer my expert opinion on whether or not they are working.

Hmmm gimmicky shit, I've bought all sorts of gimmicky gadgets for my guitars and they have all been shit. But the biggest gimmicky thing I own is the touchpad I built to prove I could make something better than the iPad for for less money. Its works but I never use it because touchpads are a waste of time.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)
want to give me your touchpad?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)
Give? What on earth is that strange and unusual word?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
sorry, don't know what came over me
what would you accept?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)
An elephant with gonnhorea, by the looks of your hair.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
twat
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
Damn it!
I was going to say "Leave his missus out of this!" before spotting it was Vipros, and realising he's basically the only one whose other half I take the piss out of, felt a little cruel.

Shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)
feel free.
I won't get offended. Amberl's the only one who has actually met her.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)
I shall do in future
I just realised I don't take the piss out of anyone elses other half, and that just seems inappropriate. And now I know who Monty's is, I can't take the piss there either!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
why do you think that is?
is it because I'm so insufferable you have to mock everything about my life?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

met fingered
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
Fifty quid and a go on your mum/girlfriend/sister/you
delete as applicable.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)
hmmm, tempting

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)
Oh come on we all know you can't turn down and offer like that.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)
Are these the trainers with a curved sole?
I have recurrent issues with trainers as I have very flat feet and my arches have collapsed. I've spent a fortune on better trainers, but still suffered from sore achilles tendons and heels after a few miles of running.

A quick trip to the GP resulted in the prescription of two plastic inserts which force my feet upright.

I can now run again. In my orthopaedic footwear.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
Run Forrest, Run!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)
I've had gentlemen of the road yell this at me...
...on more than one occasion.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)
There's only one solution then
Run back to them, lay the nut on their nose, when they drop, start stamping on their throat, before bludgeoning them to death with whatever comes to hand.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)
my last trainee had the same thing
he squeaked when he walked. sounded like he was stepping on kittens all day.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)
Hahahaha!
This does happen occasionally (the squeak, not the kitten stepping).

However, I can now run five miles in under 37 minutes which isn't bad... I'm not quite as fast as I was, but I'm getting there again.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 5 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)
Bought a pair of these off the internet:
Vibram Fivefingers. Apparently they're better for running as you use your feet/legs the way they're designed to be used instead of on all that hydraulic cushioning.

Do they work? To be honest I've not done much running in regular trainers but they seem to be okay. I'm thinking of getting a second pair.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 12:06, Reply)

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