umbrella ella ella hey
K so I live in Ireland, (the wettest country in the world) and used to live in Galway (the wettest county in Ireland) and I have a fear of umbrellas. This sucks I have to cross the road or get really freaked that they are gonna pop my eyeball or something similar usually involving me losing my precious blood. Now if anyone knows Galway they’ll understand that Shop Street is a pedestrian area and when it rains it doesn’t just go down the way, oh no it comes in from above, from the side and from the front and back. It’s bizarre and to me f*cking annoying because all of a sudden the street turns into a wall of shitty plastic coverings with pointy bits.

Hell is Galway but I love it with all my heart!

Insert length joke here
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 8:47, Reply)

Remembered another one...
Bubble bath.

I know - it smells good and helps clean the bath too...but I can't stand the bubbles being behind me. I'm 39 FFS but still panic if bubbles are behind me in the bath, laughing at me in their quiet way.

So, the day I phoned the SO from work asking her to run me a bath then got home to find she's lovingly filled the bath with steaming hot water and...bubbles. The look on my face made her ask what was up, so I had to 'fess up. Now this is the woman who threatens to tie me down (yay!) and force feed me the food of satan (aka cheese), then waves knives around in front of me for giggles.

*sigh* I'd still marry her though :)
( snee held his breath since, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 7:46, Reply)

Polystyrene
/lurk

I hate polystyrene foam. I positively won't have anything to do with it.

Being near it, touching it, seeing it. No sir. Whenever it's close to me, I start hearing the sound that it makes if you would bite down into it, or when it rubs together. It's absolutely horrible. I cringe as I write this.

My fear of this evil stuff is so bad that should I receive a box that contains it as packaging material, my girlfriend will have to open it for me as I leave the room.

I used to work in a store that would sell boxes made of the stuff for use as temporary thermos things. Should a customer knock them down, they stayed in a pile on the floor until one of my co-workers would pick it up or until my shift was over.

I've heard that some people have a similar aversion to cotton. Whatever. Keep your polystyrene away from me.

/relurk
(somethingwitty, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 7:25, Reply)

I'm afraid
of being on my own

it doesnt matter if im just on my tod whilst in the bath or cooking or anything, i always get the fear that someone is behind me, it's a genuine fear and i am now an imsomniac because of it

length: well it isnt funny
( Tovi boom bang a bang bangs all the time., Thu 17 Apr 2008, 3:50, Reply)

Giving blood
I don't mind needles at all, and when the doctor needs a sample of blood for tests or whatever, that's fine. However, I feel positively sick at the idea of donating blood, because:

1. That's a lot of blood.
2. It's my blood, and I made it, so it stays inside me!
3. I can't stand the thought of purposely pumping my own BLOOD out of my body!

I feel badly, because I would love to give someone my blood if they need it, and I think the idea of my blood helping someone else is really awesome. It's the idea of sitting there, pumping pints of it out of my body, that makes me ill.
(AlfishKK, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 2:59, 3 replies)

I use my lugs
to hang my keys on.


I have fob ears.

Just forward my coat to me....
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 1:14, 4 replies)

Probably a bit clichéic, but spiders do.
I remember walking down the stairs in my house and feeling something on my shoulder. My automatic reaction was to put my hand up to grab it off. I opened my hand to see a large hairy spider in there and shat myself, throwing it on the floor.

Queue my brother asking me to turn around, before proclaiming in an excessively alarmed manner: "There's fucking loads of them" and then me running around the living room desperately trying to rip my t-shirt from my body.

The cunt.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 0:22, Reply)

shock-sites on the internet....
although to be fair, goatse and cup-chicks isnt something I happen to stumble across randomly on the internet. Unless i'm on b3ta of course.
(radio_shak has questions, got answers, on, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 0:17, Reply)

Not me, my father-in-law's dog
Is terrified of hot air balloons.

Walking on the moor once he spotted one, legged it, and hid in a ditch for 4 hours. The f-i-l was not impressed.
(oafcmetty Lurking since, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 0:09, Reply)

I don't like hair dryers
I don't really have any phobia's, but I have an intense dislike of hair-dryer's.

My OH is scared of EVERYTHING. From the usual like spiders, snakes etc to the more unusual chickens and balloons.

We had to leave a day out at an animal centre because there was a fucking chicken on the path near us. There's my OH slowly backing away from a small chicken FFS.

What is amusing though is that such is her fear of spiders that the whole family mocks her about it, to the extent that our 6 year old draws pictures of spiders and leaves them around the house in wierd places to take the piss. :D
(flyme, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 22:41, 2 replies)

Too Many
First time, so be gentle.....

I have a list of things that chill me to the bone, and if I were to post them all, we'd be here for some time; so I'll be good and just post my worst and most embarrassing one (as is the tradition).

I'm afraid of water.

That's right, water........ not anything like rain (or the shower, heaven forbid), but any substantial body of water will have me packing my pants with brown stink bricks. Living in merry old England (I'm a 'merkin by birth) means that I don't have far to go to be confronted by my nemesis.

I work in Cambridge, near the river, and am harassed everytime I leave the office at lunch by the punting group camped outside who wish to show me Cambridge from their lovely little boats........get to f*ck!!!!! Last time I was on a boat it was spent in the centre, curled up in a ball telling the group I was with to "get me the f*ck back to shore before I murdered them and sent their bodies to rest at the bottom of the lake" or something to that effect (this was the day I found out about my fear).

Unlike my other fears, this one is totally irrational; I can swim, and have done from a young age, been on ferry crossings when I was a lad at school (though i never went above deck and slept most of the way, I do that when i travel) and even go to the beach with friends and family, but I just can't face the deep blue without a shudder going down my spine.

Length is all well and good, but it's the girth that keeps them coming back......

I'll return to lurking now.......maybe
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Wed 16 Apr 2008, 21:09, 3 replies)

Carolyn Watt.

( LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 21:01, 1 reply)

same old cotton wool.... but
my sister once held me down and put some between her teeth and made that squeaky sound it makes right in my ear....

*rocks and dribbles*
(maxumus HEY!.... diddly dee, de de de de de de, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 20:53, Reply)

Posting a reply
I'm terrified of doing so in case I cock up and the furies descend to berate me for my heinous crime.

Please don't hurt me.

On a more serious note, Tall buildings give me pause. That and the massive stairwells they normally contain. Nothing serious, but enough for my subconcious to pick up on it and create visions of horribly unbarriered stairwells inside gargutuan monoliths of structures, with something chasing me for good measure.

Time to relurk.
(Impuritan, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 19:08, 3 replies)

Lemons
This isn't my phobia. Mine is rather common according to these pages (cotton wool- it is nice to know that I am not alone). When I worked as a bar maid to supplement my student loan one of my fellow bar operatives was rendered insensible by the sight of an "intact" lemon. They were bearable when sliced but apparently they would roll unpredictably like hand grenades when whole.
(Miss Terry toed the line on, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 19:00, Reply)

Oh My God

Just remembered this...

I have a pet tortoise whom i love with all my heart. Bruce is a little boy of only 2 years and so hasn't...ahem...developed 'organs' of the sexual kind.

Someone showed me this...Warning...NSFW or for tortoises

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jA7m7QEo2s

I now have a fear of my tortoise hitting puberty!

Pass the mind bleach please....
(sexual cupcake, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 18:50, 15 replies)

Just remembered this
Because I just managed to do it:

Shampoo in your eyes. It actually made me want to jam my thumbs right in there and pull my eyeballs out of their sockets to make the pain stop.

Also, I managed to lick a towel. Not a nice feeling.

Not in the slightest.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 18:34, Reply)

I have a phobia of teenage girls
which makes fucking the teenage boys a bit more easier to explain to the courts.
( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Wed 16 Apr 2008, 18:29, 2 replies)

Where to start...
Zombies and generally rotting flesh-type monsters. The idea of zombie plagues and general 28 Weeks Later/Dawn of the Dead scenarios. They could happen, probably.
Spiral stairs, I have never fallen down them, ever, but am convinced I will fall down, and down, and down, and down them one day. Forever and ever and ever. Hate them.
Open curtains at night, especially in the countryside. There could be all sorts of evil badger/fox/weasel mutant monsters outside, looking at you. And you'd never know, until it was too late. And they'd eaten you.
Teeth outside the mouth. Like animal jaws that you sometimes find in fields. They should never be not inside the mouth, ever. Urgh.
(sarcasticgirl, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 18:14, Reply)

Necrophiliaphobia
I had a job one summer in a hospital mortuary. The hours were long and the work was harrowing, cleaning dead bodies and patching them up ready for dispatch to the families for burial.

To pass the time, I would talk to the corpses. I had an interesting philosophical conversation with a recently deceased accountant from Penge called Dennis about the futility of the cosmos, and discussed the finer points of cooking steaks with a chef from Purley who had been called Malcolm.

Then I met Phyllis. She had been the clerical assistant to the director of a large conglomerate, and had died in the hospital after a bout of pancreatitis which went awry.

I did her make up for her, brushed her hair and talked to her about anything and everything.

Over the next few days the relationship blossomed and one thing led to another.
We consummated the relationship on the slab one evening after the mortuary had been locked up.

I laid her out and penetrated her, but blow me down as I started my slow ascent to climax, her eyes slowly opened.

My priapic member quickly withered and I withdrew in fright.

Apparently the muscle spasm can be delayed and cause this involuntary movement of limbs etc, but ever since, I've been phobic about entering into sexual relations with the dead.
(Vic Flange, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 17:34, 5 replies)

Snakes in toilets
I have always been afraid that a snake would come up through the toilet while I was using it. Then I found out that my older sister has this same fear. Just recently we ran into this article: timesonline.typepad.com/inside_iraq_weblog/2008/03/toilets-snakes.html

All of our worst fears have come true.
(b3kaMN, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 17:18, 7 replies)

"Spidershitbuggeragh!"
Like almost everyone else here, or so it seems, I'm an arachnophobic. I hate other insects too, namely disgusting horrible vomit-inducing wiggly grubs (but I shall not go into that as it'll make my skin crawl even worse than spiders). However, the spindly legs, tiny bodies, ability to creep and crawl and then **attach themselves to anything with web** means that I loose sense and control when ever I so much as think I see a spider.

You easily know when I've spotted one. I scream. Loudly. And swear. Alot. This is usually followed by an extreme amount of hopping about as if I'm trying not to touch the floor.

Aswell as providing much hilarity to my family, my fear of spiders has also crept into my sleep.

It started a while ago on holiday in Oban. I share a room with my sister so every "spider attack" has happened with her present. I half woke up and was still dreaming, even though I could see my real surroundings. There it was. On my pillow. Right by my head.

A prawn.

"Aghshitbuggerfuckingshitsaaaaaagh!" was followed by me bamming on the lights and being completely confused as I woke up and tried to locate the spider, convinced it was still there in my bed.

I've not topped a prawn yet, but I have almost brought my sister to heart attack several times convinced the spider is on her too.

Now however, I know when I've made it up and after my usual bout of rather passionate swearing, I'll just get back into bed and fall asleep, leaving my sister in a bleary eyed state of shock.

Strangely enough, I enjoy hallucinating about the spiders (and other things but I shall save that for another time) as it always makes me laugh in the mornings meaning I start the day with a huge smile on my face.

Don't put me near a real one though or I'll kill you.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 17:07, Reply)

I have a new fear...


The Volkswagen Priapus.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 16 Apr 2008, 16:56, 8 replies)

I had an exception
to the spiders rule, you know.

I really like those little jumping spiders. You know the ones, the little tiny black and white striped ones.... they're really intelligent, they will follow your finger and seem curious, they don't behave like other spiders at all and they're actually cute.

Then I went to Wikipedia.

I can't find the article now, it's not in the jumping spider page, but I'm sure I read that african jumping spiders can reach 11 inches in length and jump 7 feet. I didn't find out if they were venomous, I was too busy scanning my room for one by then.....
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 16:36, 6 replies)

On, and on, and on...
I have a few...

1. Some people hate metal equipment scraping against other metal items... I just hate metal things scraping against anything! A spoon in a cup of tea is a no-go. I use plastic throw-away spoons. I’m also relatively appreciative for the digital age, as writing with a metal tipped pen sends shivers down my spine. I have to lean on at least a ream of A4 paper before I’ll write anything.

2. Cotton wool. Ever since nearly choking on some as a kid, I’ve never forgiven the fluffy white stuff. I hate the way it feels, and I’m sure it makes a horrible sound when you touch it, but maybe it’s just my neurons going into overdrive. I can sense bruxism setting in just writing about it…

3. I have an abject fear of eating anything by its sell/use/eat by date. If something says it has to be consumed by a certain date, whence that ominous day comes, a packet of ham, or chicken or cheese (or anything generally) will either get thrown in the bin, or fed to the dog (He’s nowhere near as fussy as I am!). I don’t think I’ve ever gotten ill from out of date food; it just makes me sick thinking about it.

4. This one isn’t necessarily a phobia, but it’s still irrational! I have to be kept up to date with current affairs at least several times a day. Again, I am thankful, and also unappreciative of the digital age for making me like this. Thanks to the internet and the like, I can satiate my desire to be kept up to date with who’s killing who in the world at the click of a button. Thing is, thanks to the internet, not only will I watch the news on the TV twice in one night, but I’ll also check the news on the internet several times during the same evening, just to make sure I didn’t miss out on any fascinating nugget of hearsay or rumour.

5. Not a fear of heights, no; a fear of falling from heights. I’m tall and quite large too (think, 6ft 5, 20st), so I think it might stem from the fact that from certain heights, I assume that I’m going to fall faster than ordinary folk due to my added immensity. May also be the fact that I fell from a ladder when I was about 7 and nearly broke my back. Either way, it’s a terrifying thought!
( Rolypoly Has decided, by decree, that todays date will be, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 16:34, Reply)

Must be getting old
I never used to have a problem with heights, infact there was a time when climbing was one of my hobbies, but recently...

My gf has a no smoking rule in her flat, which is okay as there is a handy balcony nearby. The trouble was that I started feeling quite vertiginous on the balcony, and had to have me tabs in the back garden. (Down two flights of stairs, bit of an arse.)

Then - last summer - I got labyrinthitis. For those who don't know, it's an inner-ear thingie which trashes your balance. Suddenly everything became vertigo central.

Thankfully the labyrinthitis has cleared up, but not the vertigo.

I get totally freaked out crossing bridges, especially Waterloo Bridge and the other Thames crossings.

Well weird.
(Mr Steve is jobless and fancyfree!, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 15:48, 1 reply)

The Ginger One...
I don't know why, but the pic Rob has on his profile page (Where he's wearing the hat and gloves)really freaks me out. It's weird, because I have watched his vids on Youtube no problem. It's just that one picture.

Saying that, I had a friend who wore gloves like that most of the time and he turned out to be a psycho...
( sausagesucker just paid £5.00 for a cup of Tea!, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 15:20, Reply)

Loosing my passport.
I have a phobia of loosing my passport. I check its still there like every half hour of my waking day.
Why you may ask? If I lost it I could just get another before I go on holiday??

Well I dont live on the island of the UK. And I cross a manned land border twice a day to get from home to work. If I lost it at work I'd be literally sleeping with the monkeys. If I lost it at home. I wouldnt be able to get work. Would not be good!

My passport is the only proof of my nationality that is recognised worldwide. I dont think a lot of brits appreciate that. And how a british passport will get you much further than most others.
(Miggyman, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 15:10, 117 replies)

Just a quick thought

I thought about this while replying to one of Maladicta's posts, but the Spiderman series is FULL of phobias.

Think about it:

Spiderman - bitten by a spider (arachnaphobia)
Dok Ock - Lab accident (work phobia) and is now a criminal with limbs (octopi phobia)
Hydro man - Living water (hydrophobia)
Sand man - living sand (....sandyphobia?)

theres many more but still!

how many phobias in Spiderman can you see should be the next question :|
(Kuja335, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 15:06, Reply)