The cruellest nicknames you gave people at work or school.
and why.
and did you call them that to their face or not?
what happened when they found out what you called them?
( Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Tue 31 Jan 2006, 20:17, Reply)

Great Graffiti
Read on bar bathroom walls, barricades, subway stations...
My favorite one:
"For a great lay, call 355-XXXX
if children answer, ask for Daddy"
( salamander, Tue 31 Jan 2006, 17:10, Reply)

Job interviews.
What's the oddest/shortest/all-time worst job interview you've ever had?
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 31 Jan 2006, 8:02, Reply)

tell me a secret
May have been done, but you could ask....what is the biggest/most terrble/most scandalous secret you know?

It'd be a great chance for a bit of a gossip
(Hot Lemon, Mon 30 Jan 2006, 18:38, Reply)

What about
What is the worst "it's not what it looks like!" situation you've been caught in?
(quis, Mon 30 Jan 2006, 14:19, Reply)

What's the worst thing you've heard said in a wedding speech?
I'm being Best Man at my Brother's wedding later on in the year and I was wondering what is acceptable to say and what's not... so what's the worst thing you've heard said in a wedding speech?
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Sun 29 Jan 2006, 12:29, Reply)

When have you really been scammed?
I've been waiting for this QOTW to come up fopr ages. Just to see how thick my fellow b3tans really are! C'mon. When has someone conned you out of cash or belongings, or better yet, when have YOU conned someone out of cash or belongings?
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Sat 28 Jan 2006, 21:24, Reply)

Overhearing people saying things you wouldn't expect.
or "out of the mouths of chavs" in my experience.

Walking down Sauchiehall Street in Glasgow, I saw a group of kappa-tracksuited, blinged-up 16-year old chavs walking towards me. In their thick weegie accent, I heard one of them say "Well, Rome wasn't built in a day".

Where did that come from? Maybe he's a(n unlikely) Morcheeba fan. What have you overheard?
( drunkenoaf, Fri 27 Jan 2006, 13:29, Reply)

...
Best Late Excuses In The World... EVER!

Every year at my old art school there was an awards ceremony.... very tongue in cheek... anyway, two years ago i won the "Best Late Excuse of the Year" award with the line of: "sorry i'm late, i didn't allow myself enough time to get here considering the lack of stride in these new jeans". I was also the first person to be nominated for the same award twice with the very true (and oh so painful) "sorry i'm late... I was hit by a truck..."
(blackfacedfightinggibbon, Fri 27 Jan 2006, 1:29, Reply)

the customer is not always right
MAny of you out there work sales. You all know that one customer that is just chewing on your ear for info, buckin for the best price, so loneley they want to talk to any one and everyone. THe best is how we got them out of the store or off the phone. Share the stories of the customer that couldn't
(smokinbananapeels, Fri 27 Jan 2006, 1:16, Reply)

Oh Shit ! ! !
How am I going to get out of this one?



nuff said again.
(tootlepip, Thu 26 Jan 2006, 20:04, Reply)

Bad luck.
Tell about your experiences with bad luck.
Maybe you've got some ghost curse put on you making you vomit semen whenever women are present.
Perhaps you're superstitious and would like to describe your routine avoidance of bad luck-causing things.
Or possibly you're one of those crazy gypsy deals that curses people and drinks cat blood.
Tell all here.
(USER No: 21515...FUCK YOU TO FUCK YOU FU see profile for limited time offer., Thu 26 Jan 2006, 20:02, Reply)

GULLIBLE
As 6th form public schoolboys, a friend and I convinced a guy in our year (social stalker!) that we were cocaine dealers. We brought in baking soda and everything.

The culmination of this was us sending him to Manchester (from London) to meet a contact. Needless to say this contact didn't show, so our gullible little friend didn't get his money, after about 10 hours total travelling. We did pay his bus fare though (damn my conscience!)

I'll give you more details if you make this the QOTW. Promise. Besides, it would be a cool QOTW anyway. Bring it on!
(Mr_Jums, Tue 24 Jan 2006, 23:27, Reply)

beutiful moments
this is the best qotw ever, makes u either want to cry, laugh or just remember great times.

makes me wanna drop everything and just travel somewhere.

shoul re-open that one i think
(klegnut, Mon 23 Jan 2006, 22:11, Reply)

Things your parents have said that have shocked you
Random things the parents say that you didn't even know they knew, or where they well and truely put their foot in it.
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Mon 23 Jan 2006, 15:12, Reply)

How about lottery stories
have you ever won anything on the lottery? What do you plan to buy if you win the jackpot? Share your lottery stories!
( Squiggy Alloria makes theme parks., Mon 23 Jan 2006, 10:53, Reply)

For years I believed my brother when he told me MP stood for Male Prostitute
I only discovered the contrary when I told my Dad there were some Male Prostitutes on the news.

What acronyms/intials have puzzled you?
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 22 Jan 2006, 13:00, Reply)

Strangest Dream
Whats the strangest dream you've had? Did it come true? I doubt this one I had last night will come true, but heres hoping; 4 old ladies, A giant pumpkin and a icckle hedgehog are chasing me through Romfords bars and clubs. They don't want anything they just fancy the exercise. What a pumpkin wants exercise for is beyond me, but then again this is a dream. Anyways so they chase me through branigans, and the hedgehog is really gaining ground on me. Then out of nowhere, one old lady throws her walking stick at me. I fall over and cause a massive explosion so loud that it woke me up. It turnt out that I farted. And it stank.
(spirograph, Sun 22 Jan 2006, 11:50, Reply)

my PC gave away my secrets
Someone on the board mentioned that he's wondering if his brother is gay because of all the cock porn he found in his cache.

I found my wife was pregnant when the google autocomplete gave me 'symptoms of pregnancy'

Has your googling been your undoing? Have your bookmarks revealed all? Trained researchers are waiting for your call etc etc.
( rob, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 17:30, Reply)

Unexpected turn-ons
There's a post on the board here about getting suprisingly turned on whilst having an eye-test.
b3ta.com/talk/1161329

This speaks to me in ways that will make you all uncomfortable to know.

I had an eye test a year or so back and having an attractive woman turn the lights out, whisper in my ear and keep brushing her tits against my arm was utterly great.

I also remember thinking, "fucking hell. this is the start of some really freaky fetish."
( rob, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 17:28, Reply)

Big regret
Not sure if you've done this, but What do you really regret doing/not doing?

I REALLY regret not hitting a nasty anti-semitic twunt I met in the South of France when I was 18 and weedy and jewish and he was mouthing off about putting dog shit through a rabbi's letter-box.

I also regret not kissing a very pretty german girl called Barbara I met in a Youth Hostel cos I was too shy.

Che
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 17:09, Reply)

How dillusional
When i was about 10, i had a major crush on Jim Carrey (why?). And i wrote to his fan club thing, whatever, and i actually asked, very politely, if he had been to the hairdressers recently, and could i have some hair? Or an old toothbrush?

I got sent a crappy signed picture of him, and i managed to convince myself that he'd actually signed it rather than it being a photostatted piece of worthless crap.

Have you ever done anything so dillusional?
(chili_kitten Cheese, peas and honey bees, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:56, Reply)

Overheard Conversations
Everybodys done it....sat on a bus or in a supermarket or just walking down the street, you hear a snippet of a conversation....perhaps even just the one line thats so bizzarre/surreal/out of context/disgusting/etc thats makes you stop and strain your ears to catch the rest.........a favourite of mine was overhearing two elderly ladies standing at a bus stop when one turned to the other and said in a straight face "She went and took the lot dear....all 8 inches!!!" what she was talking about i have no idea but i wish id have heard the rest!!
(Charlie big bananas, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 12:54, Reply)

Does Chthonic get out much?
Because all of his questions are shit.
(Oops....did I say that out loud cos I really bloody want to., Fri 20 Jan 2006, 9:14, Reply)

Something like....
Next time you are at work/ school, look up. Who is the first person you see?

Describe them and why you hate them so very, very much.
(Rhye, Thu 19 Jan 2006, 16:06, Reply)

How about one like...
...'I've never been so totally pissed off as when...'

I do like the ones that bring forth the bile - have you noticed? :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Thu 19 Jan 2006, 9:57, Reply)

Wrong place, wrong time

nuff said.
(tootlepip, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 19:18, Reply)

Oh shit, i dropped it!
We've all dropped stuff, but have you dropped anything serious?

as a kid (i was 4) i was told i carried my 4 week old cousin from his cot down the stairs and into the living room infront of half the family, then he slipped.

"oop's" says i

"ARGH OH MY FU$%ING GOD" says family

.
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 16:03, Reply)

What a HUGE coincidence!
What's the biggest coincidence ever happened to you?
(Dooley, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 23:17, Reply)