i highly regret new years eve just gone
i had tickets for a fantastic pissup with my friends at a local club, which id bought 2 months prior, and given one to my (then) girlfriend.

after a fairly amicable break up, (although i still longed to be with her) we decided to stay friendly, and go along with our groups.

by 10:30, she was utterly pissfucked on JD and shooters, and is LITERALLY crawling around the club, looking for me.
Turns out that her group of friends had fucked off elsewhere, and left her behind in this state, assuming i would look after her. foolishly, i did.

Prior to this, i was attempting to make the most of my newfound single status, and generally help cheer myself up over the break-up, and was chatting up a rather tasty blonde at the bar, who was single, and interested. very interested. we decided to play some games, and not tell each other our names, instead using petnames (honey/foxy/shugs, not rex/fido/tiddles)

it is at this very point that the two stories collide, as a very drunk ex falls into me, in tears, bearly able to walk, crying her eyes out about being so hideously fucking drunk, and asking me to take her home.

which, like the complete fucking retard i am, i did. i told my mystery girl what the situation was, and how she needed to get home, and that id be back within half an hour. she was cool with it, and said she didnt mind that i was gonna help my ex out (cos she was clearly in a state)

so, with that, i helped the ex stagger her way to the taxi rank, and got her a ride home. but she was worried she wouldnt get ondoors on her own, so i said id get her home, then head back to the club.

so, reluctant cabbie drives us to hers, and i pay, and ask him to hang around for 5 mins, as i should be heading back shortly.

at this point, ex has gone from pissed, to hornydrunk, and drags me indoors to toy with.

much gropping ensues, but no sex, and she tells me she still loves me. at 1am, i have to head back to the club (where my car is parked) to let my mate get his stuff out of the boot. so i leave her at home, and head off by foot to town .

eventually, when i get there. everyone has gone off, the club is closing up, and the mystery blonde i was chatting up has long gone. this was only made worse the following day when the ex sobers up, and tells me she meant nothing from the night before, and blamed me for taking advantage!

my regret?
i regret not ignoring my ex, and not letting her pass out in a pile of her own vomit.

but most of all, i regret never finding out who my mystery blonde was.

foxy/kitten, if youre reading this, i'm sorry i stood you up.
( lo, the Greebo Warrior - Est. 2002, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 21:54, Reply)

Obligatory girl one
Alison Kay Keim
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 21:23, Reply)

not being enough of a rebel
2 years ago, i started my undergraduate years.. i never got to live in the dorms. in fact, i still live with relatives. which sucks major ass because it's far from the campus. far from anything, actually. (i live in suburbia land).

so that means.... no partying, no guys, no booze... nothing.

i should have forced my way through with my parents. otherwise, i wouldn't be a damned hermit. :(
(kodomo_ja_nai fuck it, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 21:21, Reply)

Being lactose intolerant,

I regret eating anything dairy. Usually 12 hours after. I swear, you could set a clock by me.
( Grampa, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 21:16, Reply)

Pink Floyd
I had the opportunity to see them in Syracuse NY when they were touring for "A Momentary Lapse of Reason". Tickets from up front were $80. Since I am a lifelong Pink Floyd fan and had never had the opportunity to see them, I was jumping up and down.

Then the Bagwitch from Hell told me that there was no way in hell I was going to spend that much money for a fucking concert ticket, that we had bills to pay and all that shit. I should have divorced her on the spot... anyway, so I didn't go. Regretted it ever since...

...until David Gilmour anounced that he was touring this past spring, and would have Rick Wright with him. I managed to get one of the last tickets to see him in LA, and booked a flight to go out there that night and home the following morning. Overall the ticket and the plane cost me about $500, plus shirts for all three of my kids, my girlfriend and me.

Worth every fucking cent. Especially when the Bagwitch heard about it, and fumed that I was spending money on myself like that. The sour expression on her face made up for all those years of waiting.

Well, that and getting to see David Gilmour perform "Echoes" live in person. That was an almost spiritual experience in itself.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 21:01, Reply)

Reading
Charles Bukowski when I was 19 and thinking: "Aha! So alcholism is the way to become A Great Writer!"

Lie!
( somegreybloke, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 20:31, Reply)

Let's step into the wayback machine
let's go back to 1999, shall we?Back before large dinosaurs roamed the earth proclaiming to be in the name of all that is good and right.

AHh yes, 1999.. the beginning of the internet. And me, a newcomer to this world. I ahd been using eBay at this time for about 6 months. eBay, as we all know, is the jewel in the crown of internet 2006. But back then, you could actually call and talk to someone there. If you searched for something, eventually the returned search fields ended.

Well, imagine my surprise when they offered their IPO price to us "early eBay users" as a chance to invest. I even had $3000 just sitting around.

I said no thank you...

You heard me right, I could have invested in eBay but didn't. If I had, I would have ruled you all.
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 20:13, Reply)

Didn't see Faith No More in concert
Too many to mention: but forget (I'm trying to) arseing up relationships with women and making wrong career decisions (postman? after a degree? welcome to the club it seems this QOTW), that's lightweight stuff. Nah, my greatest regret is not going to see Faith No More in 1997. Was (and still is) a huge fan of them. Had the chance. Didn't go. Chose to spend my money on seeing the Prodigy with my mates. "Aah, they'll be back in a couple of years," was my reasoning. They split up the next year. Can't tell you how much I regretted choosing the Prodigy over FNM.
(Rob Roy The Postie is looking for alternative employment, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 20:02, Reply)

regrets.... only the one
polish sluts. enough said
(Herr Oberfeldwebel Steh auf oder stirb auf die Knien..., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 19:34, Reply)

Regrets, I've had a few
And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.

Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and evry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 19:29, Reply)

Standard Education, Work and Girl answer
1. Going to University.
Hated it from day one, didn't fit in at all, wasted 2 years doing some crap arsed Diploma thing which I failed for not speaking to a tutor on a certain day as I was in a lecture. Twunt

Then, going onto a second course in another Uni which got cancelled after the first year as everybody left. Double twunts

2. Working where I work.
Valued instore but everytime i've done something to get noticed by upper management, some other cock has decided to take the credit. Thanks you fucker.

Also, not leaving for many other equally easy but higher paid jobs.

3. Not telling many girls how I felt
All through school, I spent hours talking to girls but always ending up as their friends. Why couldn't I have just been honest to start with?

Initials of the girls are;
J.R
R.W-J
H.W
H.Mc
K.U
E.W
J.D
J (didn't get her surname, Students Night)

Length? Obviously wasn't enought to impress in school.
(bakircioglu, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 19:26, Reply)

I once had the chance to see Patrick Moore
playing the xylophone in concert in Leamington Spa.

Being a foolish child at the time, I declined the offer. The chance will never come again.
( Fishcat Difficult difficult lemon difficult., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 19:26, Reply)

This page is so fucking depressing!
Eeeeeeeemo. Where are the funny stories?

Me? Well, I regret having the chilli chicken for lunch.
( Peregr1n @peregr1n, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 19:19, Reply)

Promise me this goes no further

but just last weekend I bet my mate Terry 100 quid that I would finish the Great North Run within 2 hours. The bet was that I'd meet him in the local in 2 hours time, so Terry waved me off at the start line and he left straight for the pub to wait for me.

Anyway, I finished the race inside 2 hours (well within 2 hours actually), I met Terry at the pub and I happily took 100 pounds off him. A couple of days have passed now and I must admit I feel a little bit guilty about not actually running the race and about doing it in my car instead.

I tell you, Terry's such a thick bastard, he didn't even get suspicious when I arrived at the boozer before him.
(Lt Columbo, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 19:17, Reply)

bad
i was 16 at a gig of my favourite band drinking cider in the bar and was shocked when i got chatted up by a woman (a unique experience)who when i told her how much i loved the band took me around backstage whilst the band were on and asked me if i wanted to hang out with the band and go on the rest of the tour with them...but I told her i had school in the morning and couldn't do it. the shame and regret still live deep within.
(robertsione, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 19:16, Reply)

having read all of this..
i'm making a promise. stop taking girls/life so seriously. thank you one and all. 'night.
(tickles, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 19:16, Reply)

Footie
My regret is becoming unfit and lazy. At 16 i am now starting to think about the future and my only ambition is to become a footballer. Formally being a decent centre back. I now dont play in any competitive enviroment, and i'm too unfit to run for 10 minutes, let alone 90. I've also been born too late. most clubs wont bring in anyone with no proper experience who's not under the age of 14. Mostly it's my fault for not seeking out a new team when i moved.
(Man at the moon, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 19:05, Reply)

Grrr
When I was 18, nearly 19, I was offered a job at the Lock Tavern in Camden as live-in assistant manager, and I refused as I didn't want to leave my girlfriend behind in Stoke.

Fast-forward 10 years, I'm still in Stoke and can't remember which of my ex-girlfriends it was.

I don't know which is more depressing :(
(FiftyFour, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 18:31, Reply)

Regrets, I have a few...
The worst was when I was at a Clash concert back in the early '80s. Joe Strummer crashed a cart through the barricade and invited the few fans left to join the fun backstage. Me? I was waiting for friends. "Should I stay or should I go?" The dumbass I was, I waited for the friends. Worse, when they get there, they all say, "you should have gone!".
( Art101 You all have an unhealthy and morbid fascination, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 18:19, Reply)

suckit&sea
i know, i know. goodbye shags aren't worth even when it is good sex. no idea when i'll finally learn to IGNORE HIS STUPID CALLS!

anyway: i regret... trying to make a joke at the beginning of my oxford interview. it went down so well that i have a degree from london uni.

i regret... trying to manoevre into the middle lane at 95mph and writing off my father's one week old bentley.

i regret... never having had sex on the london eye.

this could go on a while. i'll leave it til i think of something that's actually funny!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 18:04, Reply)

She gave me H.I.V. and crabs
but God, that whore was good!

Live life with no regrets.

* I once fucked a girl with really bad eczema and the next day the sweaty bed felt like it was full of porridge! But I love telling people so much I wrote it into my act so there is no regret.
(waxdart hello., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 17:39, Reply)

$30m NZD anyone?
Not mine, but I am sure it is my Dad's. He had gone through a rough time with his business going under due to shocking small business tax laws in New Zealand in the late eighties. It was all he could do to not lose our family home as well. A mate of his who was in a similar line of work, offered him to mortgage the house and go into business with him. This would have been a massive risk and it would have meant knife edge living for a couple of years, one day away from the abyss type stuff. Dad said no, they remained friends. The new product his mate had developed was licensed and distributed all around the world, the business was sold 15 years later to the tune of $60m NZD.....regrets?? You could say so....
(essbeenz there done that, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 17:28, Reply)

Still smarts...
When I was 17/ 18 (About 7 years ago) I was on holiday, It was our last day and I got offered one night of amazing sex with a girl from a near by apartment. "Cor!" I think, "she's well fit! She must be joking!" So, roll on 9pm, I went out on the piss with my mate.

Saw her at the Airport the next day. "Where were you? I waited up til midnight for you..."

OUCH.

I was fucking gutted, and still feel like I really missed out, even now.
(The Splendid Oaf, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 17:27, Reply)

True love is not nice...no, no.
To take shit from a soul sucking, arrogant bitch who took every opportunity she could to make me feel bad and undermine my confidence.

Turned down, very beautiful Italian babe of the highest order while said sadist girlfriend was two hundred miles away at Uni. Who then came home and dumped me after cheating on me. And did i get back together with her again after it didn't work out? Of course i did. Apparently, no one understood her like i did. Make that "took shit" like i did. now i'm bitter and treat girls with indifference to save myself from pain. Ahhhh......
(Hendrix73, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 17:22, Reply)

Wasting 2 years of university
with my clingy, insecure, fat, ex-girlfriend when many other, much fitter girls, were ready and willing.

Got trapped living with the aforementioned ex and was too much of a wimp to get out sooner. Aaargh!
(The Sun King, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 17:21, Reply)

bingo2
I spent ten years travelling and thoughtlessly having fun. Now I'm ten years older than you and have virtually no chance of a career. Can't afford a mortgage, don't earn enough to enjoy life and feel like a failure in the eyes of my wife. You did the right thing. You can retire sooner and have a great life.
(frankspencer, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 17:13, Reply)

This isnt about a girl
This is about my Job.

I regret following the path of least resistance for I am now a victim of my own success. My job literally fell into my lap, then the company took off. I'm now earning enough to be in the 40% tax bracket, have a mortgage, a 5 year relationship and am about to be made a manager. All this at the age of 24.

My regret is not living in a camper van or narrow boat, living life rather than chasing money.

I'm deep down a hippy that hasnt got the balls to follow a simpler way of life, blacksmithing or woodworking.

Curse modern society.
(bingo2, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 17:10, Reply)

Fittest girl I'd ever met
A friend of hers had confided in me that she'd said she wanted to "get naked and rub my cute face all over her body". She was sat on my lap in the pub and very flirty, but also very drunk. And attached.

I turned her down because I knew she'd regret it when she sobered up. I also knew I'd regret doing so in the morning, but I wasn't drunk enough to take advantage.
( wangmaster2000, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:56, Reply)

Zoe
Let's see, she'll be about 32 now as she was 26 when she told me that she loved my hair, was bisexual and didn't care that I had a girlfriend on the other side of country and would I like to go back to her place?

This was in some club just off George Square in Glasgow and she had long braided dark hair, a cute smile and large features (eyes, nose and yes those too). Anyone know her?

In fact this is the biggest clearcut example I can think of when describing regret from not getting with a lady but most regrets in my life come from women and not going for it.

However, I'll leave you with two points (a) if you're happy with the way your life is going at the moment then you can't really have any regrets - who you are and the life you lead is a result of all the decisions you've made, the good ones and the bad and (b) I can't really say that I regret what I did by not going back to Zoe's place, I had a girlfriend and there really is something to be said for monogamy in the face of pu... adversity. You want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and your partner in the eye without feeling ashamed.

Although in saying that when asked if he had any regrets, John Betjeman said, "Yes, I haven’t had enough sex."

Meh.

Edit: oh, something similar happened with a Nicole and a Megan too. Both lovely girls as well. DAMN. IT.
( djtrialprice, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:52, Reply)