I was hungover one morning
and decided to tell my parents about a friend of mine who had told us down the pub that he'd shaved off his pubes, to which my Mum replied
"Ooh that really itches that does"
That left a pretty fucking big scar I can tell you
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:52, Reply)

right in the middle of my forehead
just below the hairline is a scar i've had since I was five years old.

Sitting in the living room.
No telly. Bored.
Decided to put some paper in the fireplace.
It caught light.
I dropped it.
Carpet caught fire.
Mum & Dad, meanwhile, are playing swingball in the garden.
I run out, jabbering about fire.
Dad backhands the swingball.
Huge, heavy, plastic bat smacks me right between the eyes.
I woke up about an hour later.
House hadn't burned down though.
Shame.


( mrlogic is copying your beard, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:52, Reply)

One unknown, One known
Managed to acquire a nice Xmas present for myself xmas just gone with a nice UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injury) - Still have NO CLUE to what happened, all I have is a scar on the top of my nose, one in my eyebrow and one on my hairline. Current theory is that I tried some drunken free jumping and knocked my head.....
2nd one - Snapped my Banjo String (this has happened on 2occassions), if you've never experienced it, there's nothing more horrifying than seeing blood squirt out from your nether regions in a big arch.....

And I'll save your eyes and won't show a picture of it...
( -:Coop:-, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:50, Reply)

oh god,it was painful.
and stupid.
ok,riddle me this,what do you do when your favourite show is on tv and you want some fish fingers?why,you get a fish finger,skewer it on a fondu fork and cook it on the heater! only avoid slipping and skewering your thumb.

i slipped.then i ripped it out,walked to the kitchen,opened the medical cupboard and said to my mum "I cut my finger." then promptly passed out.I woke up about 30 seconds later with my granny calling the ambulance,my mum standing above me trying to wake me up and my brother standing on the other side of the room enquiring "what the fuck happened?".

10 minutes later,I'm sitting on the couch with a paramedic FORCING me to use the oxygen mask(she was hot though,so i guess that doesn't matter)and i'm trying to explain how it happened through the mask while coughing.

anyway,an hour later I'm laying in a hospital bed with the tinyest cut on my thumb,extremely pissed off and wanting to go home,missing the simpsons,only to wait another half an hour for them to say that "you can go home,he'll be fine".

I apologise for nothing!!
(That guy with a hat., Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:46, Reply)

Not really a scar,
but I have a lump of graphite imbedded in my left knee, from when someone sat down next to me holding a pencil point downwards at the age of 7.

I was always told "It'll work it's way out over time." It's still a silvery-gray blob visible under the skin 12 years later.
( Herr Tezcat, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:46, Reply)

this one (on the side of my head) I got falling out the top bunk when I was 8
my sister normally slept in the top one, but this time we decided to swap so I rolled out of bed and smacked my head of the chest of drawers.
I got stiches for that one, a week or so later I wen to the hospital to get them taken out, later that day I was watching some builders at the bottome of the street, I walked up behind this bloke shovelling cement, I was just looking around not paying attention where I was going and then BAM smack on the back of the head with a shovel.
I got staples for that one and still have a small bare patch on the back of the head

this on my temple and this one through my eyebrow (boyzone stylee) I got whe I tripped and headbutted a moving car

this on my chin I got while chasing my cat on a skateboard, i hit the kerb and smacked into the pavement

this one below my eye I got one day we were going to the shop and i realised i had forgotten my glasses, i turned and ran back to the house I tripped and smacked my face of the big marbleish step

this patch on my arm with no freckles or hair and that red line down the middle, I have no idea where that came from

I've also got a large C cut into the top of my leg where the end of my bikes handlebar jammed into it, but I've only had it a month and it doesn't look like it will leave a car

I numerous scars on my knuckles, the earliest from when I had to remove a broken window pane and decided that my fist would be quickest, the most recent is from when I punched the radio because it played band aid 20 for the fiftieth time

I'm proud of my length, but you think I'd learn
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:42, Reply)

Hey, just remembered 2 more scars!
Vasectomy reversal, 3 hours of microsurgery, 1/2 inch hole on either side of my scrotum.

Shall I post photo?
(peewee13, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:26, Reply)

I have a wonderful scar accross my chin,
which with some stubble makes me look like a BIG MAN

I gained it at a Butlins holiday camp.. there was a slide-thing, and me, being a foolish boy of ~10, decided to climb the flat, wet, slippery slope

I got quite far, but then slipped, landed on my chin (this wasn't plastic, but "tiles") and slid down

i swam around thinking "ow :(" for a bit - when people started screaming... i was leaving a nice trail of blood behind me

--

to save face (bear in mind i was tiny!) i told them i must have cut it on some glass; this (unintentionally!) resulted in them closing the pool for the week, and giving us a free holiday! (at butlins :().

i also have scar accross the top of BOTH my hands - from rescuing something from the oven, i managed to whack them against the metal-thing at the top

when i join my hands together, i have one big scar! \o/
( stevierar, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:22, Reply)

Cat and Air pistol
1. Opened a tin of cat food to feed cat. Cat got grateful and rubbed against my hand which cause my thumb to be raked across the sharp lid of the tin. Amazingly calm, I walked to the sink and started washing the wound whereupon my mum said 'that's a big cut!'. then i fainted. i still have the scar on my thumb.

2. While residing at 180 Owen Road, Wolverhampton, I decided I wanted to know what it felt like to be shot with an air pistol. So i necked a can of Guinness and started on the fleshy part of my leg. After the pain subsided, I went my left arm. Still have both scars. It bled quite a lot too
(wattoo, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:22, Reply)

Well ....
I've got scars all over my body, thanks to be accident prone as a kid, and accident prone when pissed.
Main three are:
1 - Large V shaped tear scar on my right arm. Put my arm through a window. I severed an artery, didn't die thanks to some quick thinking. I tied a sock round my arm.


2 - Scar on my head. pulled a loft ladder down onto it. Cracked my skull. Its got some nice contours now! Only 3 stiches though.

3 - An 8inch scar running down my shin, from where I tripped up on a low metal fence.
( firstinch returns after about 10yrs, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:13, Reply)

and another
out in canterbury with my oldest brother and we start a drunken argument. Twatfink Kent local comes over and starts on us both out of no where. i have a swing at him, miss, fall ass over tit and land on my left hand.

Cue agonising screams as I rotationally fracture my elbow and land in a heap. 3 pins, 3 days in hospital and a lot of morphine later I still felt like a cunt.
(saltydogstar, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:10, Reply)

Several, mainly through work but this is the best

Not a good photo but I have a seven inch scar on the inside of my left knee.
One afternoo, when I was 18, my brother and 4 of my mates where at a beach called Fowlers Bay near the South Australian/Western Australian border doing some fishing. As we had consumed a large amount of beer and local homegrown cannabis, everything was very amusing. I went for a pee behind a tree and got bitten on the knee by a brown snake (quite venomous). Everybody, including me thought this was hysterically funny, with lots of "lucky it didn't bite your old fella" comments.
Anyway, after about 15 minutes I started feeling quite ill. Luckily, my brother, reminded us of his vast medical experience (he was a fitter and turner apprentice but at the time it made sense)and said that I required immediate medical intervention. This involved taking a filthy fishing knife and removing the area of flesh that had sustained the bite.
This he did, quite skillfully, so that I was minus a lump of flesh about 7 inches long by 1/2 inch wide by 1/2 inch deep. We were all impressed that he had saved my life until someone pointed out that I was bleeding rather a lot. The nearest place with any medical facilities was Penong, about 65 kilometres away.
The doctor that stitched it up, kept smiling to himself. When I asked why, he showed me that the bite was actually about an inch lower than where my brother had cut and that the snake had actually just scratched me without getting any venom in the wound. It took 4 courses of antibiotics and 15 months to actually heal up.
(peewee13, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:08, Reply)

Invisible barrier
Cycling like a regular Greg LeMond down a dusty gravel track on my merry way to see the house that my mum had just bought after a messy divorce with my dad, I fail to see a 8 ft iron bar across the cycle track in front of me

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

over the handle bars, gravel, scars, torn eyelid, wrecked bike, naughty scars - long walk home

fuckin bikes!
(saltydogstar, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:04, Reply)

Aside from the scars from various joint reconstructions...
1 inch scar on left knee from tripping on stairs at a full sprint and breaking my left kneecap.
6 incher down left forearm after leaning on a hot iron and, for some reason, not quite noticing.
Tiny divot in the end of my nose as a result of diving into my swimming pool as a kid and NOT QUITE missing the bottom.
Loads on the back of my fingers after trying and trying to be as fast as Bishop. Did it occur to me to practice with a blunt object - oh hell no.
.. And some teeth marks on my cock.
(I am the infinite monkey!, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:04, Reply)

I have a couple...
My first happened when I was about 18 months- my mum was having tea with a friend, and their teapot had a duck-shpaed teacosy on it which I liked so much, I decided to molest. Bad mistake. I got a pot of boiling tea all over my foot, and have still got a big patch of messed up skin there. Just to prove my stupidity I did exactly the same thing (same friend, same teapot, same duck) a couple of weeks later, this time on my stomach- when my mum brought me in for scalding for the second time in as many months social services were informed... No scar for that one though.

The other happened during a rugby match which turned into something of a brawl after somebody got punched in the scrum. The final injury tally for those involved was three broken bones, two concussions and blood everywhere- most of it mine, as some twat stamped on my head (not very nice when they're wearing a rugby boot). I didn't really notice until people started giving me really shocked looks- apparently my face was fairly similar to Sissy Spacek's at the end of Carrie (which is scary in itself- I never realised shedding that much blood turned you into a girl)

I ended up with a scar just above my right eye- about half a centimetre lower and I'd have a glass one like Gordon Brown does (he lost it in a game of rugby too you know). This is a piccy from about half a week after it happened...

Oh yeah, and I've got a permenant lump of scar tissue in my lip from the time when on an ill-fated skiing holiday in Austria I managed to clothesline myself on a fence- had to have all my front teeth put back in. It was the day before my fucking birthday as well! *bitter*


No apologies for my quite stupendous length...

Edit: Sodding filter! Just for the record, I did not scald myself trying to fuck a teapot disguised as a duck.
( Shrub Rocketeer is a twisted emotional husk, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:04, Reply)

Physics in action
I was on holiday in Spain with my family and my cousin & I decided to race to see who could get inside the villa first. We were at the time, by the pool which was separated from the garden by a 4ft iron fence.
He ran round to the gate but I decided I'd climb over the fence. Cue my foot getting stuck in a bit of the fretwork and a nice pendulum motion of me spinning head first over fence and hitting it with comedy boing.
Cue deep cut to forehead and me passing out.
I came to twice, first time with on a sofa with my family fussing over me and the second in a manky hospial with a doctor spraying my head with disinfectant and then using the rustiest needle I have ever seen to sew me up.
( Lynxkitten, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:02, Reply)

Two
scars creation stories come to mind and they both take place when I was little and lived in Walthamstow (quess Walthamstow is on a leigh line for scars ).Anyways the first is a scar down my left hand side of my face from when my sister who was 18 months old at the time cut a lovely half moon piece of skin out of my cheek, only for me to pull the scab off a week later saying `look mummy I have my scar off` resulting in a lovely bright scar that rears its ugly head each and every time I have a tan. The second was caused by being in my aunts house and seeing my father walk down the pathway.Being excited to see him I ran to the front door (which was one of those ones with 4 glass panels) and slipped on one of those plastic carpet cover things which only appeared to exist in the 70`s.My head then introduced itself to the very bottom glass panel, only for my father to say `hello tye` to the bleeding head of a 4yr old half hanging out the door.The scar really shows itself when I either get angry or frown and I still have the mental image of me in hospital with a big piece of glass sticking out of my forehead and the doctor pulling it out.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 12:01, Reply)

Roundabouts
I have a scar on the top of my head, where i fell under a roundabout. The roundabout started to get a bit too fast for my liking, so i decided i should try and get off. I lost my footing and somehow managed to fall over and roll under the roundabout. I heard someone tell me to not get up. Have you ever tried not to do something when your a told not too, its impossible. So i raised my head and bang hit on the underside of a fast moving circular sheet of metal.
(DJ Skidz, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:58, Reply)

Sk8 boards are evil.
Laying down on a skateboard being towed by an older kid on a bike in my local neighbourhood... going round a corner and couldn't steer.. straight under a parked car exhaust pipe through my neck (2 inches from windpipe) blood everywhere, just so happens a policeman is walking down the road.. picks me up and takes me home. Rings on the door bell and is promptly told by my mother to let myself in round the back. Policeman keeps ringing and banging on door.. mother answered and almost passes out at sight of 8 year old who looks like has had throat slit! result is wicked scar that still has oil in it from the exhaust pipe!

apologies for length.
(simpson, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:51, Reply)

Kicking Pencils
I treid to play football with a pencil. I kicked the pencil, but it stuck in the gap betweeen the big toe on my right foot and the toe next to it. If your going to play football a sock is not good enough protection!
(DJ Skidz, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:51, Reply)

Blackhead
Pretty digusting this one really. Not for the squeamish.

Minding my own business cleaning my teeth and my brother comes in and mentions I have awhopper nblackhead on my back on the shoulderblade. So being the perv he is, insists on squeezing it. He fails even with his nails and only manages to make it hurt like hell.

Move forward two months and what was a blackhead had become a small syst. Go to the doc and he says its ok, and if it worries me to go back and they will remove it.

move forward two months and the syst has got bigger and started to ache. Go to doc and he says he cant do anything untill the infection goes down. Thanks for that - bloody NHS.

move forward two weeks cyst is now moleste and pulsating. About 7-8 cms across, red angry and sore. can hardly move my arm and the cyst actual has pustules bursting out as my wife watched it. Gross.

Down to casualty and they give me 11 (count them 11!!!!!) locals anaesthetic shots around it and then they cut a 2 cm square hole in the top and drain it. Stinks to high heaven, and i bite through the pillow when they do it. They then basically seemed to use a spoon to gouge it out. Then pour Hydrogen Peroxide in the wound - nice - fizzy and cold!!

And then the good bit!!!! By the time it healed I had a wound that looked exactly I imagine the input hole of a bullet would look like. Especially when it was mentioned to women "accidently". Certainly cool and several women "expressed an interest" in seeing it. Of course being married I would never dream of doing so...........
(anthorin, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:50, Reply)

Cunnie-no-lingus
3 years old, see my first icecream van, run in the house, run upstairs to see where my dad is "Ahhh, probably in the shitter as usual", run in there, slip on the mat, crash down on the bog seat and my teeth slice off the right part of my tongue! :(
(~ J ~, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:41, Reply)

Racing down the farm lane on my bicycle...
...clapping my hands to see if I could get to 100 before the bottom. Pretty steep, tarmacced and a single lane.

Smack-bang on the 100th clap (couldn't have timed it better for a film) the front wheel hit a stone and the bike shot off to the left, whereas inertia insisted I carried on going forwards.

I slid face-down-star-shaped for 20 yards and stopped wrapped up with my bike, blood pouring from a gash on my right-hip/stomach area.

Crying my eyes out like a twat (I was about 10 so I was one) and a car comes along and starts beeping at me to move out of the road.

Bastards.
( Father_Ted Drink!, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:41, Reply)

ok,where to start...
3 on my left knee,5 on my right and a big bunch on each elbow from where my dads girlfriend "helped" me learn how to ride a bike.

1 on my nose from falling out of my cubby house at the age of 3.

2 on the bottom of my right foot from stepping on 2 nails at once.

A big one on my right foot from standing on an oyster then slipping over.

A big round one from when i got a mossie-bite then scratched it till it was infected (still kept scratching after that though).

1 to the left of that from cutting myself while going down aforemention cubbies slide(it was old and rusty).

1 on my left elbow from roller-skating VERY quickly down the road infront of my mates house.

And 4 on my left leg that I don't know the origins of.
edit:I also have a 1 1\2 inch one in the middle of my right hand from a cut I wouldn't let heal (every time it scabbed,i picked at it) and now I can tell the ladies I was saving an old lady from a mugger and he tried to stab me.or something.
(That guy with a hat., Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:40, Reply)

Just above my right eye...
Picture from 'Look-in' pinned to garage door (probably Essex or Cassidy or some such), small pieces of toilet paper soaked in water, thrown at said picture. This was amusing for about two minutes. Then the projectiles got larger, until my friend decided that half a roll of loo paper, drenced in water, needed to be launched with more force than was available by hand alone. Cue launching from child's plastic spade and subsequent direct hit, not on garage door, but of spade, millimetres above my right eye.

Gushing blood, rush to hospital, concerned nurses, lots of soothing sounds. Until I explained what happened and then all they could do was snigger at my stupidity.

If anyone asks nowadays, I say it was an accident with an axe
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:35, Reply)

Fainting scar
I fainted on a traffic island (due to excessive alcohol and caffeine abuse the night before, allegedly) and managed to gouge a nice big hole just above my upper lip. When I came to in a big pool of blood, surrounded by paramedics and rubber-neckers, the conversation went something like this:

"What's your name son?"
"Cigarette..."
"What's your name?"
"I need a cigarette"

Not that it hurt or anything, it was just what I wanted at the time. The ambulance man refused to let me see the wound, which pissed me off as I was curious.

My fingers also suffer constant abuse due to my obsession with sharp knives and general spackiness. This includes demonstrating how fast I can chop onions (very fast) while drunk, whittling a conker (why?!) and playing with a cut-throat razor (why?!).
( dr_fonz, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:32, Reply)

Sometimes mums don't know best
Got a nice big scar near my right elbow. Was skateboarding many years ago and came off. Strange thing happened next. Skinned me elbow but some skin had stayed on which turned it into a nice pouch of blood bobbing about on it. Went round to show the parent and get general advice with what to do with odd blood pocket thingy. Que the mother taking a scrubbing brush to it as no amount of begging would convince her that it wasn't the fake blood that my sister had got for halloween.

It still looks the daddy and goes a nice purple colour when the weather is cold.
(Billy Sastard, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:30, Reply)

Operation Scar
possibly slightly off the point (most of the others are about stupid accidents, and this wasn't but....)

Goes to hospital for double hernia op. Now I'm sure, was sure etc., that the surgeon had told me it was keyhole surgery.

Hmmm. Woke up after the op, looked down in my groggy state to see a big f*** off wad of a dressing, covering a scar all of 11" long looking like a smile just above my groinal region. (Smile ? Not f***ing funny, trust me) - I thought I'd had a caesarean by mistake.

The smile lingers to this day (all of 5 years ago) - but it does break the ice at dinner parties.

btw. That op f***ing hurts. Avoid.
(The real vlad the impala, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:23, Reply)

Not Very Many
I have a inch long scar on my chin from falling down the stairs while playing with my transformers toys.
A 2 inch scar on inside of thigh while trying to climb over barb wire fence.
The bump on my left rib cage from breaking 2 ribs imitating the ultimate warrior from wwf.
But the winner is the 3 inch scar on my left temple when my brother decided the best test of his accuracy was throwing a brick at my loaf. Unfortunately for me he is a crack shot.
( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Fri 4 Feb 2005, 11:21, Reply)