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This is a question Secret Santa

Ah, the joy of giving anonymously. Squeal as your boss is given a porn mag for christmas. Out your colleagues with a carefully chosen Gaydar Radio compilation album, but best of all, keep quiet about picking your own name out of the hat and buy yourself something really, really expensive.

What have you given to people you hate?

(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 10:03)
Pages: Popular, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

This question is now closed.

piston_broke
I'm from Michigan and it is not illegal to pass out on a fridge.

It is illegal to pass out on anything below freezing, such as a freezer, girlfriend or wife.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 22:41, Reply)
i once fell aspleep
on a footstool while sitting upright, not exactly a weird place but it freaked everybody out, plus while on holiday and really drunk i tried to go to bed in the bathroom but i dont think that counts cuz i got interrupted and pointed in the direction of a bed
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 22:05, Reply)
Sleeping places?
Birmingham New Street on a platform bench after missing the last train to Reading. Spent the night there, was horrid, especially as I was sober. I had been in Runcorn. Long story!

Also slept in a doorway in Bournemouth after getting into a right state. Had my mobile and wallet nicked. Odd thing is, they went shopping on my Switch card, but they did a refund on something they bought just after they bought it... wtf?!
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 18:27, Reply)
Strangest place to sleep?
Well, I once passed out on a fridge. Sadly not in the US (some random state- Michigan, I believe) where this is illegal however.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 18:09, Reply)
Response to both QOTWs
A previous job had the kind of Secret Santa where, as described in earlier posts, you either unwrap a gift, or take a gift that someone else has already unwrapped.
I initially brought an AOL CD, but thought better of it and quickly wrapped several GB worth of DAT tapes that I had found in the trash several months earlier and had no use for. Still crap, still cost me zero. I hated that job.
The gift I opened was called a "Tater Twirler" and was a potato-spinning contraption used to make curly fries. Someone "stole" it from me later in the gift exchange. I was sad, but honestly if I had kept it I probably would never have used it to this day, and that was in 2002.

Strangest place I've ever slept: In a Japanese -style garden. Like them now, even have a miniature one on my desk. But when my mother drug me to one at 13, I was so bored I refused to walk through it anymore, and went to sleep on a bench. I heard a little boy ask his Dad why I was sleeping there, and the Dad just replied "Must have been a long day".
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 15:49, Reply)
Topical
You may relate to this in your current state, Lardaholics. I once had a snooze underneath my desk during the hideous "Chrimbo Limbo" week as I like to call it. I had been forced to attend work on 29th December and had the most massive hangover ever endured. I therefore made a nest out of the cables under my desk and curled up there with a purple novelty hippo bath cushion as a pillow.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 14:11, Reply)
In
Your mum
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 12:34, Reply)
in
your mum's bed
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 11:49, Reply)
New QOTW
Now I realise that there isn't going to be a new QOTW as yet, but I am hungover, bored and stuck at work. I have caught up with all my blog subscriptions, checked my online banking, dealt with all my e-mail and it is looking like I may actually have to do some work soon. That won't do. Not at all, so I have decided to do something about it.

So, without further unnecessary verbiage, taken randomly from the QOTW sugggestion page:

Where is the strangest place you have slept?

ObStory: Best Secret Santa present at this office was a set of rubber gloves and a bottle of Fairy Liquid to the guy that always complained about being part of the washing-up rota.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 11:37, Reply)
thanx grandad
when i was 17 the walls of my bedroom were natualy covered on images of half naked FHM women (pamela anderson etc). my grandad had obviously noticed this and took it into account when considering what i would enjoy for christmas.

upon opening his present that year infront of the whole family, to my embarresment the gift i recieved was a porn calander (leather fetish). if i wasn't embarressed enough i was also then told by my grandad "eh, you know where to come if you want some proper stuff! i can get proper pornos me!"

from then i quickly grew out of having FHM posters on the wall.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 10:13, Reply)
I went to Loogabarooga for Christmas







...shall I come back even later?
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 6:46, Reply)
They never learn
Work in a bookshop specialising in business and law. (Even duller than it sounds.)

For the third year running we've given the boss a book on 'management in your first 90 days.' We just wish he'd read it, but reading isn't part of his 'skill-set' apparently. Any more than 'not being an incompetant pompous twunt' is.

Next year we're gonna hafta get him a book on euthanasia. With pictures.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 0:34, Reply)
Present Reflects Personality
Im a computer geek who sits at his desk and eats a lot of kfc... what did I get for secret santa ? ... a squeaky rubber chicken and "the little book of geeks"

Thanks Guys

PS.. no im not fat from the kfc...

just right length thanks
(, Wed 27 Dec 2006, 22:51, Reply)
secret santa - a nuns best pressie
My Ex-Girlfriend was working for a homeless charity years ago,the time came to secret santa so my ex gave the head nun a dildo....hehhe
(, Wed 27 Dec 2006, 13:24, Reply)
.....Secret Santa in a new job .....fucksox
Well there I was, the new bloke, just posted in before Christmas and didn't know anyone ( as you'd expect ) apart from one bloke I'd met briefly a couple of years ago. Anyway Secret Santa was a new concept for me as the only time I give things to people I don't know/like is when I get taxed every month.

surpise of surprises I got the bloke I hardly knew for my secret santa gifting extravaganza. I think the limit was five quid. The only thing I really knew about this bloke was that he was of the ginger persuasion, and he had a wife and some kids.

So ..ginger..funny for a start anyway...so I bought him a packet of "ginger Nut" biscuits. Fcuking genuis.

And cheap.

Anyway Christmas came early at work and Secret Santa was called, prezzies were exchanged, I got novelty socks, wooo hoo.

giger boy opened his ginger nuts biccys, much derision was poured on the tight fecker who'd only spent a pound or so ( damn right )

But apparently his missus thought it was hysterical, turns out he'd had the snip a month before ......and therefore technically had no "ginger nuts" to speak of
(, Wed 27 Dec 2006, 12:11, Reply)
I had a new Secret Santa gift......
...a calendar of Jamie Oliver. Cunt.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2006, 8:01, Reply)
Kris Kringle
oh this year i got my friend the best presents.. i got her 3 pairs of big old granny underwear and 4 banana condoms (coz i didnt like the flavour) and a tube of Vagasil... i then had to avoid her family for the rest of the night because they werent happy
(, Wed 27 Dec 2006, 7:33, Reply)
What to buy!
had the usual 5 limit, couldnt decide what to buy, and usual crap of tin of roses from Tescos, cheap wine, vibrator/etc didnt appeal.

So had a look around and ended up at www.oxfam.org.uk/, paid 1 more and donated 6 to buy 100 school dinners for some african school.

You receive a card which explains about it in an envelope, about CD size.

this is where the story comes in, i got a cardboard package that you use to send CD's in the post, stuck the envelope in that, sellotaped it up (badly) and stuck a badly cut out print of father christmas.

so it was small, looked shit, and i knew people were commenting on the shitty secret santa gift.

The MD had it, but he wasnt in, so it was unopened, but I explained to the secretary what it was, her face was a picture when she realised the shitty present she was expecting wasnt that!

also didnt have to trapse around the shops looking for it!
(, Tue 26 Dec 2006, 20:51, Reply)
I don't fucking believe it
I've been impressing my mates with tons of sick jokes, taught to me by b3ta, for months now. I've asked them

- what's the difference between 5 dead babies and a ferrari?
- what's the first symptom of AIDS?
and
- what's purple, covered in pus and squeals?

and had them in stitches. So what do they fucking get me for christmas? THE B3TA BOOK OF SICK JOKES. What a shit fucking present, I've read all the jokes! They had no idea that I was getting them from b3ta, they just thought it was appropriate for me, so now I've got a book that I've read through online already.

Why was Jesus so popular with the ladies? (best penis joke to end a post ever).
(, Tue 26 Dec 2006, 20:43, Reply)

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