Another Freed from Gala
My love has go no beliefs, he's got his Stromboli
(albator, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 15:20, Reply)

Sister Sledge again
"We are Family"

I'm convinced that they are actually singing -

"We're giving love in a femidom"

Are they promoting the peculiar contraceptive device? Would love to know the real words
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 15:16, Reply)

Fat boy slim.....

Yes I promise, I heard him sing,

"get outside now! What the fucks your problem"
(robbyefe, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 15:14, Reply)

she'll be coming....
In top infants, aged 7 or so(?), we had some random guest person in our class, so we all got told to sing "She'll be coming around the mountain".

Cue about half of us singing the chorus of:
Singing I-I-yipee
me mother's gone the chippy
I-I-yipee-yipee I

I think we had more words, but sadly I've forgotton them, what an anti-climax.

Something about "she'll be bringing fried tomatoes when she comes". Who know, not me.
(gerg, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 15:12, Reply)

Freed from Desire by Gala
The missus and sprog were adamant this went

"My baby's got no money,
He's got his trampoline"
( High Lord Phanty, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 14:52, Reply)

Remembered another one
Dire Straits "Sultans of Swing", where the actual line is
"Check out Guitar George, he knows all the chords..."
My dad was convinced for many years it was
"Check out Chicken George..", believing it to have some relation to that TV series "Roots" about the black american slave family. Bless him.
( useful_idiot, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 14:43, Reply)

That Reminds Me
Postman Pat, Postman Pat
Postman Pat Is A Drunken Old Twat
Early In The Morning
He's Multi-Coloured Yawning
And He's Gone And Nearly Shit His Pants
(Bringing Sarcasm To The Masses (Valis), Fri 28 Jan 2005, 14:41, Reply)

mistafeesh
Last line is:
"I've never seen a cat as flat as that".
(SusK, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 14:22, Reply)

Love Shack by B52s
Got me a cock and it's as big as whale,
And it's about to impale,
Got me a cock and it seats about twenty
So come along and bring your KY jelly.

My love cock is a pretty big thing
So come lets get together
Love cock baby, my love cock baby.
(pdjpdj, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 14:17, Reply)

AIR
Sexxxxyyyyy Muuuuuuuulet
(cupc@ke, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 14:17, Reply)

Five little speckled frogs...
...was crap but still warranted changing to :

"Five little speckled frogs,
sat on my freckled knob,
licking the cheese off my dome.

One jumped into my cum,
the other went up my bum,
and ate all the chocolatey nuggety bits."

Needless to say the last line doesn't quite "flow" and what happends to the three spare frogs? But it was created by me and a mate when walking the three miles back home from our local pub so it didn't have to be perfect.
(PCheese, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 14:12, Reply)

Oooooh, I remembered another one
Sitting in the sixth form common room a couple of years ago, Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys came on the radio.

As I'm sure you're aware, the lyrics go 'Intergalactic, planetary' etc.

Upon hearing this, my mate turned to me and said "did that just say 'intergalactic, playing with children'?"

Much laughter ensued, and we've now decided that those are better lyrics.

edit - bah, I should read the question. Still, those *are* the lyrics we now sing.
(sky blue sam, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 14:03, Reply)

As I have previously mentioned
Thomas Dolby's "Flying North" I always sang

"Knickers steaming in the chilly air of the morning"



instead of "Lincoln steaming...." etc
( groovegenerator The man who mistook his wife for his wife, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:57, Reply)

girl on girl action?
I'm not particularily a fan of Duran Duran but there is one particular song that I enjoy...

"Wider baby smiling you just made a million
Fuses pumping live heat twisting out on a wire
Take one last glimpse into the night I'm touching close I'm holding bright, holding tight
Give me shudders in a whisper take me up till I'm shooting a star

Girls on girls (she's more than a lady), girls on girls
Girls on girls (two minutes later), girls on girls
Girls on girls (see you together), girls on girls
Girls on girls (see you later), girls on girls
Girls on girls (what ya doing), girls on girls"

It was only recently pointed out to me that the title of the song is "Girls on Film" but still I maintain that I am right. Listen thats what they sing. Apologies for length.

edit: just realised it wasnt misheard... still I do sing "girls on girls"
(Badger McAdams, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:55, Reply)

I don't have any...
But i'm not going to mis read the question and post "mis heard lyrics" and im not going pretend that what I saw on rathergood was something that I misheard either..

/grumpy pedant
(mrpaulo shaving the world, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:53, Reply)

Oh the shame
Family holiday boredom with my brother led to a revised version of a Spice Girls song with a bit of a BSE theme to it. The chorus went:
"Stop that cow
Shoot it in the crotch
I need some bovine for my luuu-uunch,
Hey moo,
Always got the runs,
Gotta shoot it down baby,
Put a bullet up it's buuuu-uuum"

Aythangyew!
( useful_idiot, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:53, Reply)

Glooooooo...
ooooooooooooo...
ooooooooooooo..
oooooooooooooria

Oh Santa lives in Chelsea.
( wayward., Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:51, Reply)

Throbbe - All Things Bright and Beautiful....
My fiancée wants this hymn at our wedding for the exact reason you want people to stop having it...

Slightly on topic, in my last year at primary school my class had to sing Silent Night at the Christmas concert. Except we had to sing it in the original German. Cue 60 children having German pronunciation drilled into them with ruthless, Nazi-esque efficiency (necessary to stop us singing "Steely Nakt, Heineken Nakt" rather than "Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht").

See them beam with pride as they execute said hymn flawlessly on the day. Witness the rapid deflation of their egos when the reaction from the audience was "aaaw, isn't that nice, they've sung it in the original Latin".

Shouldn't have bothered really...

"Ah likes muh Bible in English like what Jeebus spoked..."
(lawofnations, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:39, Reply)

simpson/I lurve the horseys...
When I had the frigging "I love horses" jingle stuck in my head (for bloody months) I used to insert any name of person/pet/food instead of the horse bit obviously. "I love cat food, best of all the an-i-mals....." Erm....
(Horses were secretly the best though)

Simpson, reee qotw Jim'll fix it bidness.
Her name was Maclaren...
( -:Coop:-, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:38, Reply)

Lust for Life
Here comes Johnny, yet again. But he's not got Liquor and Drugs, everyone's been mishearing it for years. It's Luther Vandross. Iggy is a friend of Luther.... who'd have thought it.
(Vernie, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:32, Reply)

School Hyme ; When a knight wore his spurs of something.
When united won spurs in the story of new,
They thrashed them, they bashed them.
They said they were poo.

After the game ended fergie said yahoo,

Can't remember the rest, ah those were the days! *sob*
(Balron doesn't care how big his photos are, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:27, Reply)

postman pat
prob bin bunn, but:

postman pat, postman pat, postman pat ran over his cat
blood and guts went flying, postman pat was crying,

erm...I can't remember the rest.
(teasus likes tea, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:24, Reply)

Proffessional Widow - Tori Amos
I`m only bringing you close to my lips
I`m only bringing you close to my lips
Saggy Tits
Saggy Tits
(Smumps, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:21, Reply)

worship songs
Hilarity ensues when you accidentally mix verses of worship songs up to create strange blasphemies: par example;I will seek you face/I will worship you becomes "I will wash your face".
Also accidental missing out of words due to tunely changes results in things like telling God "you should do things my way".
(teasus likes tea, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:21, Reply)

Diana Ross
Instead of "I'm in the middle of a chain reaction", we used to sing "I'm in the middle of a masturbation".
(Wrecked Tums, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:19, Reply)

MC Hammer's Massive Testicles
My mate (yes, my MATE) used to reckon the words to MC Hammer's 'Can't touch this' went like this: Dum, du, du dum, d-dum dum , KING TESTES (as in plural of testicle).

So all the time he must have thought the baggy pants were to hide MC Hammer's massive bollocks.
(freshtonic, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:19, Reply)

just recovered from the Huygens microphone data
... apparently the TV reception is really lousy out there; but they're all keen fans:


"Bring me Methane"
as sung by Hyperion and Ys


Bring me methane in your smile
Bring me space probes all the while
In this world where we live
There should be more hydrogen
All the ice we can freeze
For each brand new dark tomorrow
Make me happy, through the sleet
Never bring me, argon tears

Let your dust be as cold
As the clouds from up above
Bring me fun, bring me methane, bring me rocks

Bring me methane from your eye
Bring me lightning in the sky
Life's too short to be spent, being anything but cold
We can be so content, if we gather hydrocarbons
Make me happy orbit long
And I'll keep howling happy shrieks

Let your dust be as cold
As the clouds from up above
Bring me fun, bring me methane, bring me rocks

Make me happy all orbit long
And I'll keep howling my happy shrieks

Let your dust be as cold
As the clouds from up above
Bring me fun, bring me methane, bring me rocks

(So I'm not strictly within the remit of the question ... who cares? Not I.)
(haberman is singing in the changes, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:13, Reply)

for some unknown reason
the lyrics to the Take That song Pray, which should go,

All I do each night is pray
Hoping that I'll be a part of you again someday
All I do each night is think

would be sung

All I do is shiny face
Hoping that I'll be a part of you again someday
All I do is shiny stink
(Redbull_(UK) pfffft, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:10, Reply)

Queen
Every single maths class, me and my mate David sang various Queen songs, replacing vital words with biscuits.

"Is this the real bourbon?
Or is it a custard cream?
Give me digestives
No escape from a biscuit barrel"

Unsurprisingly since these songs were sung rather loudly we weren't exactly what you might call popular. Other games included making up obscene sentences in German ("Ich habe ein lenkrad bis mein arsche" if memory recalls) and generally not doing very much work at all.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 13:09, Reply)

"Mr Sandman, bring me a dream.
Make it the wettest, and make it obscene. "

We re-worded quite a bit of that when I was at school, but that's a very long time ago now and so I can't remember the rest of it.
(cerey, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 12:57, Reply)