orange tangerine
we all live in a yellow submarine,
an orange tangerine,
a tub of margerine
(emma_fisi, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 12:22, Reply)

Oh sit down...
To the tune of James' Sit Down:

Oh sit down, oh sit down
Sit down on my face
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit do-own
I like the taste...
(SirPsycho, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 11:57, Reply)

Kool & the gang
The song "get down on it" was popularly warped whan i was at school. This might be familiar to some:

Get down on it, suck my helmet
Get down on it, suck my helmet
Come on and
Get down on it, suck my helmet
Get down on it, suck my helmet
(funkenstein Be pure! Be vigilant! Behave!, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 11:51, Reply)

Queen: Killer Queen
Its nearer the end of the song and is meant to say, "Drop of a hat she's as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat." I however sang

"Rubber bands they're exquist,
Vapourise the pussy cat."

I don't care what you say the first bit does sound likes rubber band! the cat bit just warped me.
(GIbbonsrwild, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 11:36, Reply)

Nelly Fartudo
I'm like a bird -
always in a mood.
(The Pink Strat Copy, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 10:38, Reply)

Drinking in the moonlight...
As my friend and I waited for our bacon and egg baps to be made a few summers ago, that bloody Toploader song 'Dancing in the Moonlight' came on. I commented to my friend that 'he gets it almost every night? Git. I'm lucky if I get it twice a year.'

Cue some random emails back and forth when we were supposed to be working and this was the fruit of her labour (sung, obviously, to the tune of Dancing in the Moonlight).

We get it almost twice a year
We've got cobwebs down to here
But when we're drinking that much beer,
No one ever seems to want to get near.

Drinking in the moonlight,
My fag won't seem to stay alight.
It's such a horrifying sight.
Everybody's drinking in the moonlight.

There's more but I can only remember it when drunk...(sorry for length - first post).
(rumandcoke, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 10:00, Reply)

ooh that reminds me
Drunken karaoke singalong favourites:

#1 The Divinyls "I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I fist myself"


#2, Elton John + George Michael's stunning duet:
"Don't let your son go down on me,
although I touch myself it's always someone else I see,
just allow a fragment of your wife to wonder freeeeeeeeeeee ohhhhh
cos losing everything is like your son going down on meeeeeeee"


£1 a pint skol lager is fantastic for getting the creative juices flowing
(barrythief, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 9:10, Reply)

The secret behind Ann Summer's Success
How's about this classic Good Charlotte tune:

"Girl's don't like boys girls like rampant rabbits
They lube them up and shove them in their fannies"


failing that, change any two-syllable word in any song to "fisting" and ouila: instant comedy genius; Abba's "Fisting Queen" anybody?
(barrythief, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 9:07, Reply)

Ode to Comet
Sung to the tune of "March on the River Kwai"
(Comet = household cleaner)

Comet, it makes your mouth turn green
Comet, it tastes like gasoline
Comet, it makes you vomit
so drink some Comet, and vomit today!

and another I heard on TV a while ago

Row row row your boat gently down the stream
Drop your pants do a dance. Isn't life a scream?
(evil_penguin_17 Robots of Doom... Attack!, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 7:24, Reply)

Bonanza
When my mother was young, she and her siblings somehow decided that the lyrics to part of the theme song from the show Bonanza (even though there aren't actually any lyrics) went as follows:

We've got a hole on a bump on a log.
Bonanza!
A horse and a sleigh and a buffalo tray --
How rich can a fellow be?

My mother claims that she doesn't remember who came up with those, but I suspect that she was the only one of the group who could have thought of such nonsense.
(skinchanger97, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 2:37, Reply)

Offspring - Pretty Fly For A White Guy
I always thought The Offspring were singing-

The world loves some one-eyed pizza,
The world needs some one-eyed pizza,
Lets get some more one-eyed pizza,
Thats what the main man say!
( stereo_world has decided not to eat your photograph., Wed 2 Feb 2005, 1:55, Reply)

a team
try singing the words of amazing grace, to the tune of the a team...
you'll never look at mr T in the same way again :(
(i_walk_bing_crosbys_dog, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 1:49, Reply)

just this second
i thought the queers were singing

"you're an immigrant and i hate you"

(the real lyric is noodlebrain)
( eponymous Oh!, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 1:43, Reply)

Shania
Ooh, I forgot this one,,,,,

In "that don't impress me much" , does she say ' I can't believe you kiss your car goodnight,' or 'I can't believe you kiss your cock at night'? which is what I am hearing.
(lard-tastic, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 0:39, Reply)

TV Theme songs
My friend David once believed (in his twenties) that the lyrics to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme were:
"...Leonardo Leads! Donatello dusts machines!"

David hasn't heard the end of his foolishness.
(Todd is an awful name, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 0:34, Reply)

ooh yeah fake plastic trees
"he used to do surgery for girls in the A-team"
and also
"a town full of robert plants"
( ibex (not ipod), Wed 2 Feb 2005, 0:29, Reply)

further to the neighbours theme
after "neighbours, pick your nose and taste the flavours"
it goes "strawberry, apple and banana,
special flavour marijuana"
only I can't remember the last line
( ibex (not ipod), Wed 2 Feb 2005, 0:28, Reply)

Radiohead's Fake plastic trees and wet wet wet's love is all around me
woo to this question, here's my two:

instead of "it wears me out"
its "where's me nan?"
*note this still makes me laugh despite all my grandparents dying in the space of one year

"i feel it in my fingers,
i feel it up my nose,
i pick it and i flick it
to see how far it goes

it went across england
and into spain
they caught in a bucket
then threw it back again.."

much longer versions were created in the stupidly long time it was in the charts but i cant remember them, sorry.
(atleastimtrying, Wed 2 Feb 2005, 0:26, Reply)

Gwen Stefani - What you waiting for?
listen to the song! she definately sings "suck a donkey off" somewhere in there, in the slow bit. i swear.


/edit: ive just found out its "osaka, tokyo" easy mistake to make
( Ryan T Who are the brain police?, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 23:50, Reply)

Misheard and deliberately mis-sung...
Truly mis-heard, easily done with Kate Bush (possibly because at the time I was 13 and too busy wanking myself stupid over her):

He clip
It to me
Or Kathy
I'm a comb again.

Fuck me, her words don't make more sense when you read the real ones.

Deliberate mis-singing:

Feed the li-ons
Let them know it's Christian time.

Or of course the Ramones:

Sheena is
A cocksucker
Sheena is
A cocksucker
Sheena is
A cocksucking cow.

Time for my cocoa...
( Le Branleur Formidable vous tend la main droite, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 23:48, Reply)

adams family song
i can remember the adams family song when i was a yungun...

the adams family started
when uncle fester farted
he farted thru the keyhole
and paralysed the cat

the cat was so amazed
he jumped up in the air
he landed in the fire
and burnt you know where....

the muff one is also good, as someone mentioned...the list is endless...

this crazy little thing called muff
the muff shack
muff hurts
muff is a stranger
and my personal favourite...
I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR MUFF...ID MUFF DIVE YOU AND THATS A FACT (DN DN ) OH I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR MUFF, BUT I WONT DO THAT...

Oh , this is one from a few years back:

Bon Jovi, you give love a bad name:

STRAIGHT THROUGH THE ASS (ARSE!)
AND YOU'RE SO GAY
OOOOH YOU TAKE LOVE, THE WRONG WAY...!
(i_walk_bing_crosbys_dog, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 23:23, Reply)

Fear Factory
At the beginning of Linchpin, the singer screams:

"CAN'T TAKE ME APAAAARRRRRT."

My sister thought he was saying:

"GOTTA GET ME SOME POOOOOORN."

Easy mistake to make I guess.
(Mr Slippyfist, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 23:13, Reply)

Everybody needs a wooden armadillo - Brimfull of Asha
Until my dad told me the right words, I kept singing "Everybody needs a wooden armadillo".

In conjunction with another person's one to the Summers in the sun thing. I was told this version.

We had joy we had fun
We had bitches on the run
but the fun didn't last,
'cuz those bastards ran too fast.

Everyone knows the ones to the christmas songs, I have always been a fan of the one for three wise men.
Three wise men in leicester square,
selling knickers, 10pence a pair.
They're fantastic, no elastic.
Buy your granny a pair.

Oh star of wonder, star of light.
Star of real dynamite.
Westward leading, still proceding.
Blow up in the silent night.

I made a stargate version of that. Yes I'm that sad. I made a stargate version of While shephards watched their flocks by night. I'll stay that one.

While Shepard watched the gate by night
Looking out for the Wraith.
The kids from Athesia came down.
And watched his football tapes.

In ways of wrong words, when ever I hear the backstreet boy song "I want it thataway"
I keep hearing "Which back street boy is gay." Then I sing the words.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 22:48, Reply)

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
I realise its about singing the wrong words, but this is kind or relevent... They sing a lot on Sesame Street anyway... maybe it was from a song...

I was watching the good Sesame Street, back in the 90's (When it was still an hour long and still on at lunchtime) I miss those days...

Anyway, It was an episode where Elmo had lost his violin. Can't remember exactly where he found it in the end but anyway...

Some random guest of some kind was on the show, doing their bit for the education of out young and was talking to Elmo about the things he liked. This is what i heard: "Elmo likes; using is library card, finding his violin and drugs"

Firstly I noticed that Elmo appears to speak in the 3rd person. Not agreat example to set to the youth... Then I thought about what he'd saod...

Not knowing if i heard right I looked at the TV in slight shock... until said random guest gave Elmo a h.u.g... damn it... There I was thinking they were bringing a more adult storyline into it...

Sorry for length (I have to say that to all the girls)
(FlangeCat, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 22:08, Reply)

happiness
my stoned mate were convinced that bob marley was singing in some song or other of his

"i dont know what a penis is"
(throbbo, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 22:04, Reply)

Wham
Last Christmas
I Gave you my heart
But the very next day
I found you were gay
This year
Because you are queer
I'll give it to someone hetero.
(Mr Slippyfist, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 21:58, Reply)

Oasis - Look Back in Anger
When we were young & immature, we used to sing the chorus thingy as:

"Don't look back you wanker
I heard you're gay"

your all gay :P
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 21:15, Reply)

Queen Pork
My good friend thought Queen had nothing better to do apart than sing about meat:

He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from his pork sausages!
(ElitePlotter, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 21:14, Reply)

Alanis and Christina...oh, and Billy Ray
Fighter(?) by Christina Aguilera (sp?) - she is definitely singing 'Thanks for making me...wider', not 'Thanks for making me a fighter'.

'You oughta know' - By Alanis Morissette - 'The cross eyed bear that you gave to me.'

Plus, I read the Billy Ray Cyrus reply on here: Until I was 22, I thought he was called Billy Ray Cyprus, Until a group of my friends corrected me...the shame.
BTW, great question... now I can't hear any of these songs without hearing these alternative lyrics. Thanks.
(lard-tastic, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 20:54, Reply)

Jungle is massive!
My brother used to get the words wrong to that early jungle song that went "boo-yaka bo-yaka I'm the general of France"! .... not even sure what the real words were meant to be.
(toxic_poodle, Tue 1 Feb 2005, 20:30, Reply)