Marina. Aqua Marina
As a slip of a boy I used to get funny feelings watching Stingray - to this day if I hear the song I still feel twitches in the groinage.

Dunno about you but a fit, green haired, mute woman who can breathe underwater and swims with a 'thrusty-hipped' motion ticks a lot of boxes for me.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:59, 3 replies)

Claire Grogan
From Gregory's Girl. I had a major crush on her as a 15 year old. Think it was the short skirt and the dark tights that did it. And the accent. Cock, I feel all funny now...
(Ghostlight, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:55, 10 replies)

Bing, bang, diggadiggadong.
She's 18 now so I can say Stephanie from Lazytown without fear of prosecution.

(I know this is not what was meant but it needed saying)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:54, 10 replies)

I fapped over the middle one from that band Hanson once
I'd still do her now, come to think of it
(brazzin, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:50, 7 replies)

Ages 3 - Now
Every single woman in my mums Littlewoods catalogue. Especially the bra and panties section and the sofa section (The had a load of hotties selling sofa's)
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:48, Reply)

Isla Fisher
she was Shannon in Home and Away when I was a teen... she is still gorgeous and finding success in Hollywood, so I don't complain when the Mrs makes me watch a chick flick with her in.

Sacha Baron Cohen is a lucky guy!
( hygor gyrates with animatronic emptyness, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:45, 5 replies)

Louise from Eternal
and Lisa Snowdon back when she was nothing more than a Bra model in mums Kays Catalogue and I had no idea what her name was. Then bamn I spot one of my first faps presenting the Big Breakfast.
( Peej, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:44, 1 reply)

Cheetara
from thundercats and Mrs Spoon from Button Moon.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:41, 2 replies)

Another one.
Emma Peel (Diana Rigg) in The Avengers.

No, I'm not that old - I used to watch reruns with my dad.
(Flap Burger hasn't really got a burger made of flaps, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Am I allowed to include this? Only - it's pretty well a teenage crush in reverse.
A few years ago, after a band rehearsal, we all repaired to the local pub for beer and fags and being cool. As we walked in, a very attractive goth girl stared at me, and gave me a BIG smile, very much impressing the rest of the band.

We sat down, and said goth girl gets up, comes over, and asks, "Excuse me - are you A Vagabond?", and the band are clearly very, very impressed now.

"Er ... yes ... " I respond.

"Hi! I'm Sophie XXXXX. Guy's sister."

Dear Christ it was the sister of my best friend from primary school. The last time I'd seen her she was 6 years old, I was 8 and I think we'd torched one of her barbie dolls.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:37, 3 replies)

Ride my broomstick
Fairuza Balk any day.

No not when she was about 8 in Return to Oz, I mean when she was a psycho witch in The Craft. Yum.
(Corbo, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:36, 1 reply)

Chaka Khan
Specifically in that video of "I'm Every Woman"

Those eyes, that smile and those tits. Good lord.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gReqhOfgOqw
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:34, 1 reply)

Nick Baker. And Gillian Anderson.
Started on The Really Wild Show, then got his own series on National Geographic.

Think I may have been an adult when Steve Backshall started on TRWS. Cute face in a dorky way with a very nice body.

Rather enjoyed when they got wet.


Had a massive girl-crush on Gillian Anderson. And wanted to be Scully. Sadly I'm not too bright and am useless at Duckhunt.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:31, 1 reply)

I'm not gay
But i definately would let Kriss Akabusi have a crack at me
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:31, 3 replies)

Julia Sawalahwalywalahia
Or whatever. When she was in press gang.

She was a fox, and I spent many a night as a yound lad thinking about shafting her over a newspaper strewn desk where they produced the Junior Gazette. Plus she was wearing a chunky knit cardigan to boot.

Phwoor!
(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:30, 3 replies)

Sigourney Weaver in Alien.
The first one, that is. Especially that bit at the end when she's in her bikini.

I would. And so would you.

Also, for some obscure reason, I had a crush on Radio 1's Jo Whiley when I was about 13. Why? No idea.

I even sent her an email. And she sent me one back.

And then I sent her another one, which in retrospect was a bit creepy.
(Flap Burger hasn't really got a burger made of flaps, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:28, 1 reply)

There was once a Dr Who babe...
whose real name was (and probably still is) Sneh Gupta. She was (and probably still is) a hottie but I can't even find any pictures of her on the whole of tinternet so I'm relying on my admittedly unreliable memory. I've tried Google images but it must be quite a common East Asian name and there are loads of them (including some right old bags) ... but none match up with my memory. Oh well !
( Ramsay Tupper, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:28, 5 replies)

Kim Cattrall
After seeing her in the fwap classic Porky's, and Mannequin.

Not so much now though...
(Szetak fears the wurst! (Saus-o-phobe), Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:26, 3 replies)

You know we belong together...
One night back in the mid 90s i had a dream where i went on a date to Bromley cinema with Chloe from Home and Away (Kristy Wright - look her up). Nothing saucy happened, pathetically i was a perfect gent but from that night onward i had a massive crush on her. a month or so later i went to see the Foo Fighters playing at the London Astoria with some mates and who should be in front of us in the queue? Yep. I'd like to say i wooed her with my charm and rapier wit, but instead i just blushed a lot and got starstruck for the one and only time in my life. Stupid stupid stupid. Fate handed me an chance and i was too shy to even attempt to get knocked back.

She had fantastic lady bumps though. And i still love her.
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Nelson Mandela
I am male.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Teenage crushes?
Anyone, so long as they're young.

Signed,
G. Glitter
(ratthingbazzterd, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Jennifer Connelly in “Labyrinth”
The first time I saw this film I was a child and really enjoyed it for the brilliant film it is. The second time I saw it I must have been in my early teens because Jennifer Connelly’s magnificent breasts had me at “hello” and I cant say that I paid the rest of the film much attention, something about a baby…

I haven’t watched the film for about 15 years, and I’m quite worried how I will feel when I finally do because even though the lovely Jennifer is 7 years older than me, she was only 15 when they filmed Labyrinth…I feel like a dirty paedo just typing this, somebody inform the Daily Mail.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:20, 8 replies)

Cheryl Baker and Jay Aston
Part of easily the cheesiest band of the early 80s in Bucks Fizz, but to a 13 year old Kia Ora they were fitter than a butchers dog. Even taped the video for Making Your Mind Up just to repeatedly watch the bit where the 2 tossers in the group rip the girls long skirts off.

Happy Days.
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:18, Reply)

David Carradine dancing in his leather underpants in 'Death Race 2000'.
I was 14.

Dammit.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:18, Reply)

I bet some of you have the same
Miley Cirus errrm wait someone of appropriate age.... Linda Barker
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:17, 2 replies)

Not gay -bit gay footballer crush
When I was an impressionable youth I developed a strange obsession with Russian Manchester United Winger Andrei Kanchelskis....
I didnt support Man United but went along to with some pals who did to watch them play Chelsea in 1991 and was dazzled by his fast pace in what became the best team in the country...so dazzled in fact that I started putting posters of him up on my bedroom wall and- when his wife had a miscarriage- sent him a commiseration card that made me cry when I wrote it. I never associated any of my feelings for him as being in anyway homosexual until I heard my mum say to my dad:
'All this Andrei Kanchelskis business is a bit gay isnt it?'

These days despite being a confirmed heterosexual the only gay football related thrills I have is imagining Cristiano Ronaldo dressed as a schoolgirl licki.....
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:15, 2 replies)

Erm, I was a teenager...
Anything that breathed. I once pulled a girl at a student disco who was so big that when I tried to pull her skirt up to cop a feel, her buttocks actually shot out under the hem like airbags popping out of a steering wheel. It didn't stop me.

I also copped off with a 38 year old who stank of Bacardi. It was fun.

Lastly, I once had a wank over Lorraine Kelly. Oh yes.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:12, 8 replies)

My first list - expect several more.
Christ, I had a prolific number of crushes.

Sally James – the first telly-bint who gave me those ‘confused’ feelings
Emma Forbes – I’d tolerate the fact she worked with Andi Peters for the chance to play with her growler. Even now.
Jet from The Gladiators – it was the long hair and sturdy thighs I think. Not seen her on anything in years, I would imagine I still would though.
Ace from Dr Who – Time travelling explosives expert with a cute smile? You’d introduce her to your sonic screwdriver given half the chance
Janet Ellis – Jigsaw era

And, perhaps slightly more appropriately – because we’d have been within just a few years of each other age-wise

Julie Regan’s mate (her old man was a school guv’nor) from Grange Hill, can’t remember her name, but you would*

Where did that last one come from? And does anyone have any idea who I’m talking about?

EDIT: It was Julia Glover who was Laura Regan's mate. So yeah. Her. And that one from Press Gang.

Re Edit: Glynis Barber who played Makepeace in Dempsey and Makepeace.

*Assuming, of course, you were me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:11, 9 replies)

So here we go...

Kirsten O'Brien: God knows what reason, just always imagined peeling a rather skinny thong away from her golden valley.

Michailla Stracken: I would smash te granny out of her, preferably somewhere in the African savannah surrounded by meercats...

The twins from funhouse: I would and you would. I spent many nights wanking myself into oblivion thinking about these too.
(gingerbollocks 'happy and content' since, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:10, 3 replies)

Siouxsie Sioux
I once had a dream about her. She came to my house in a hearse, took me for a spin then we parked up in an isolated spot and she let me put my quack-quack up her. Can't remember if it was wet (the dream not her, I'm sure she was positively foaming).
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:08, 1 reply)