...
she shagged my mate the night before.

how perfect.

mind you she was a pretty thing.

we became bf + gf... she delighted in pointing people out in the street and telling me she'd fucked them.

it didn't last.
( Nobody Likes Mortal Wombat, Thu 10 Mar 2005, 7:31, Reply)

Colledge days...
I was 17 and had been dating her (18) for 2.5 weeks, there we are the olds still at work in my bedroom queue much heavy petting and roaming hands when she pushes me back and says the imortal line I will never forget.
"We wont get very far with these jeans on"

Heart rate jumps to arround 300bpm as I'd never got this close to 4th base. split second later we're in the nuddy when I discover I have no johnies!!! fuck! cloaths back on and a frantic search for cash and end up raiding the internet box (back when dial call were still charged at local rate, besides I seemed appropirate seeing as I'd had many a intimate webstibation session).

We walked very quickly to the chemists perchased the sausage tarps and went streight to my bed.

dispite being rock hard it took several attemps to get it in, I dont remeber how long it lasted but afterwards I went to clean up it was all I could do not to let out a loud "Oh Yeah!".

Anyway that started the begining of a very, very physical 7 years (still going strong!)

Apploigies for length and girth as it did make the first time trick.
(timberwolf0122 is turkey volume guessing man! Guessing the volumes in terms of turkeys since, Thu 10 Mar 2005, 7:07, Reply)

ZZ Top
Had been with this nice boy I met through his sister, Roselyn, for a few weeks, and although 19, was still 'pure' if you can call doing just about everything else but bonk 'pure'.

He bought tickets to a ZZ Top Concert at the Gold Coast, and I decided that that would be the night. I didn't tell him or anything, until it was all over. The deed was done, and I got up to have a shower, and realised the condom had split. Spent the next few hours in a cold sweat, and the next week or two in hell until nature took it's course and I could relax. That sort of took the gloss off what should have been a top night. I do admit, though, that he was the best lover I had until I met my now ex-husband. Must have been the fuzzy guitars. Thank you for my first, James, and also for my inherited liking of Van Halen and Blues Breaker.
( Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Thu 10 Mar 2005, 4:11, Reply)

I was so very young
I was only 13. It was with my boyhood hero, he took me too his fairy tale mansion. We went on his rides in his theme park and read porno mags while drinking sweet wine rolling on his lavish bed.

It was such a beautiful and innocent experience, nothing sinister at all. How could anyone think it is sordid, a wonderful man, with so much love to give? It was the most natural thing, like when he was on TV telling that nice indian reporter how our love was joyous and natural?

Now I an testifying against the bastard in court, gonna make me a fat wad o' DOLLARS!!!!!
(Finn_coyote, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 23:46, Reply)

Breaking a 2 year silence
Finally after 2 years lurking without signing up I am breaking my silence!

Picture the scene - freshers week at uni, pull quite a fit girl, back to mine etc etc. Now I know what a sensitive new age guy is supposed to do, so I head south. I also know that its not supposed to be particularly pleasant, so don't complain. Things progress, we shag, nothing spectacular, but nothign disastrous either judging by what else is on here!

So anyway, we wake up at about 6.30, she decides to head home, so being the gentleman I am I walk her back to the porters' lodge, waving merrily at the rowing crews and my friends as they head off to training. Feeling pretty pleased with myself I get back to my room and look in the mirror. Only to find I have a ginger goatee. Yes, I now looked like a bearded Rob Manuel. She had indeed had the "painters in" but hadn't bothered to mention it. Obviously I knew no better at the time and thought it was normal. Took me ages to live it down at college...

And that's my excuse for never doing it since... (just kidding girls...)

Anyway, back to lurking!
(Longtime, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 23:43, Reply)

"Apologies for length"
pretty much sums it up.
([sic] You're ad here?, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 22:47, Reply)

jeux sans frontiers
i was 18, she was the norwegian penfriend of my mate's girlfriend. we'd fooled around for a couple of days and gone further each time. she was due to go back to norway the next day so we went out to the cinema for a nice last night (edward scissorhands i seem to remember). after the film had finished we drove down to branksome chine and walked up to the beachhuts. we managed to get down to it, first time for us both, missionary didn't work so we went 'doggy'. it was a bit of a disaster, if it wasn't a dirty old man stopping to watch it was the condom breaking. we gave up. she came round mine the next day and it was much much better. kept in touch for a few months but never saw her again. lovely.
(andysith vs. the becardiganed mousethra. EEK, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 22:21, Reply)

How small?!
Was recently with a girl and we ended up in bed, so one thing leads to another and in I go.. only to encounter some resistance.. Are you a virgin? I ask, surprised.. No she says, I don't think so!

Turns out, she had a boyfriend before, but even though they had been at it, he was deficient to the point that he'd never, err, got anywhere as it were.. And the mess on my sheets and her new experience was the final proof! Naturally I am Mr Ego "What would the ladies do without me" for the next week after that encounter!!
(WooMinster essccc597, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 21:51, Reply)

Classy
I was 18 when I lost my v-plates to a girl called jodie.
She was a freind of a mate of mine and we always seemed to bump into each other when i was on nights out. Anyway, on one particular night we both ended up in the same nightclub ('Toad' to be exact, it was shit) here in 'Keynes. We were both pretty drunk and on the dancefloor when she asked if i fancied goin outside for a chat.
Not really reading the signs, i went along with it and joined her outside the bar. As soon as we got outside she started kissing me and after about five minutes of touchy feely stuff in the carpark, she grabbed my hand and we started walking accross to the big Sainsbury's opposite.
what happened next i'll remember for the rest of eternity; she pearched herself on one of the trolley racks, pulled me close and just whispered 'So you gonna fuck me or what?'
needless to say i didn't need asking twice; Skirt went up, trousers half mast and the rest... well i'll leave that to your imagination.
The next day, my freinds asked me where i dissapeared to during the evening; when i told them they thought i was joking... But i was left with an everlasting souvenier which i then showed and still have to this day....

Massive fucking claw marks in my back.
(Colostomy Bag Explosion Lubing the gears of commercialism, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 21:36, Reply)

Late night sandwich
17 years old at her parent's home in Tenby...she dropped hints heavy enough to sink the Titanic and I still wasn't sure what to do. Eventually she whipped my old man out, climbed on board and rode me on the sofa late one night...a magnificent performance lasting at least a minute. Whilst recovering and silently congratulating myself I noticed a shape at the door. Her dad in his dressing gown, mumbling something about making sandwiches, and then hurrying away! Luckily I was due to drive home the next day (200 miles away thank god) but the radiator exploded in my old mini and my girlfriend insisted that we go to her dad for help. That was fun. He fixed it up pronto, sorted the bill and filled the tank...I couldn't look him in the eye once!
(User_Death_Imminent, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 21:14, Reply)

Was Pretty Farkin Good
Well. When i was (just turned)17 i was seeing my first proper...(or was that just first..probably) girlfriend, both 17, she had her own flat, after about 6 months of "investigating" and "getting to know her" one night while she was singing on the mutton kareoke(sp!) she said she felt it was time...

i shit myself(not literally) and made up every excuse in the book not to go through with it. For the next month or so, when we were in bed doing shit, she would always ask, are you ready.

well finally.. i gave in...

Candles were litten.

a Towel was placed under her (such careful young souls we didnt want to leave any evidence incase her landlord found out his old shitty mattress had been used to break her in)
i got some good head.

Then the jonny came out.

she slapped it on for me.

I Fumbled about and finally found my way in, i heard a small click followed by warmth and away we went. for about 40 minutes or sommit (i forget).

I Bust a nut, She came(rather loud i might add, she was good at being loud) . We both cleaned up while laughing about how "it was finally done" She went and made us a drink. I skinned up, had a Bong (or 2), smoked said spliff, finished our tasty beveridge, then went back for more.

Ahh it was good, i do miss sex with her, but i still keep in touch and we are quite close but she is busy away at uni, im sure i will be there again.

I would appologise for length, but you would laugh and ask why :*(
( Bongmaster Is a Junglist Soldier., Wed 9 Mar 2005, 19:47, Reply)

The parents lawn
Lost my V's to a total minger who I had met at a party a few weeks earlier. She had a b/f at the time, but made it apparent she wanted to jump my bones when she came around one night whilst the oldies were away.

Got hot 'n' heavy with the finger action on the couch when she asked 'we doing it here'? Not wanting to ruin the leather plus being terrified that my oldies would unfortunately come home at a stragically important time, I unromantically convinced her to do the dirty deed on the lawn outside.

She had popped 2 sprogs which meant she was so loose and wet, coupled with my total inability to time my thrusts with her's meant that I popped out so often that we just gave up after 5 minutes of fustration. She went home and I had to finished the job by hand. Ignored all her calls after that (did I mention she was 'rough around the edges') and the next week I met a chick whom I went out with for 2yrs.

Wish I had kept my V's for her to be honest.
(Fudds Ghost, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 18:31, Reply)

losing it???? its COME BACK!!!!!!!
17 years old, with a girl i'd been with a few months (we'd tried before, but it hurt so she'd just blown me instead that time), and her parents were in tenerife- what else is a 17yr old's mum's house for? and it was Pearl Jam's second album on the stereo- still makes me smile when i hear that album.
Course the only problem is that now at the age of 29, i'm in the midst of a drought of biblical proportions (so biblical, i've got charlton heston asking for the part of me)... 7 months of self love, with not even a sniff of interest... anyone fancy a shag?
(Ferradura pitching curveballs from leftfield, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 18:07, Reply)

An innocent 16 yo boy....
Against a community centre. Although she was younger she knew every trick and i may have picked a few up. Haven't looked back since!
( DijonWolfie profile 1 of 1, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 18:05, Reply)

18
In a tent, in a sleeping bag at the reading festival.

Fast forward to my new girlfriend who turns out to be a virgin at 26:

Ha! No problem I've done this before no hassle.

It's only afterwards when your looking a sheet that could have been taken from the set of Scream or Nightmare on Elm Street that you realise the sleeping bag from reading had a nice red lining to it.

Had to turn my mattress over in the end
( HornO, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 17:54, Reply)

Sloppy Seconds
Well, my first time went brilliantly, We settled down to do the dirty. in multiple positions. She enjoyed herself, multiple times. when I finally finished after a Herculean effort of self control, I stayed standing to attention so carried on for more.

Three days later, we go for seconds. Unfortunately, it was not to be like my heroic first attempt. I got in, thrust once, spaffed straight away and ended up looking very embarrassed.
(gristy Twice as a rabbit, but oh, how a reputation sticks, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 17:15, Reply)

Virginity
I lost my virginity with an 8 year old girl while sticking my hands down a young boys pants at my large mansion.

Whats that you say? Nah my name aint Micheal Jackson
(loopadoop loves toilets, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 16:51, Reply)

at his house
when his mum was downstairs making tea. both lost our v-plates, but no blood at all, quite amazing, and he was, and still is, a fantastic lover. Even managed to wait until I'd come...how gentlemanly is that? (3 years on and my good catholic parents still don't know... )
( nononononoyes, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 15:48, Reply)

lies
really not that exciting; he was my boss and 8 years older than i was. i didn't tell him and he didn't guess which says a LOT about his sensitivity in the sack. i won't go as far as "pain" but turning moans of severe discomfort into groans of fake pleasure isn't as easy as it sounds. fortunately it only lasted a minute or two.

he then pulled out, looked at the naff red scented condom which had nearly given me brewer's droop when he produced it despite the fact i'm a bird, and said in horror: "are you on?" he then jumped up and went into the lounge at which point i got dressed and left through the back door.

my my how much fun the office was on monday morning...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 15:48, Reply)

Suppose technically it was at my first uni at the age of 18.
I was sober (a rarity) and my first real girlfriend came back from some wine-tasting night (she was posh) absolutely twisted. She proceeded to turn me into a man. One hell of a relief, but I was completely useless. (There was the immortal exchange “Have you come yet?” “No, have you?” which still makes me wince…)

Despite going on to shag like rabbits for a few months then carrying on with another bird for 3 YEARS shortly after, both of them were quite “caring/sharing” relationships so I reckon my V plates really went a few years ago in the first year of my postgrad studies. I’d started doing a hell of a lot of exercise (in hindsight, definitely as a result of not getting any bedroom gymnastics) and met a friend of a friend from the course I was on. We were on different peripheries of the group each time we saw each other and there was no real chemistry, but one night after a lot of booze we ended up in my single bed. It was fantastic. We did pretty much everything. The two of us were just up for uncomplicated hardcore sex without any strings attached. My newly-found fitness came in handy and we got through all but 2 of a 12 pack of Durex. She was cool. Yey for uncomplicated birds.

I apologised that night and her response was "You're not THAT big..." :(
(Garnett, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 15:38, Reply)

"I only want a fiddle." - yeah right!!
The opening line from a pissed and sleazy guy at a shit party. Wanted me to go back to his "just to fiddle". I was not entirely innocent in the ways of men but was 17 and desperate to lose it, even though he was the uglier older brother of the fit guy I fancied at school. Went back to his for a fumble. He persuaded me to climb on top where I promptly rocked around up there as he fell asleep. He was not really interested and it was very disappointing. In the morning he couldn't even remember my name. We were together for 2 years although I have no idea why. Oh well 3 1/2 years later I'm now with his much nicer, much fitter, mate and we're at it like rabbits. Yay!!

edit: for some reason the word c,u,d,d,l,e is changing to fiddle. Oh well, perhaps to some people they are particularly offensive. But "I really wanted a fiddle with the boy, to make him feel better" isn't quite right.!Perhaps that is where Jacko is making his mistake!
(tears_of_joy., Wed 9 Mar 2005, 15:05, Reply)

with one of Londons many whore dogs...
She was a rough Bitch... :)
(Kayozz, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 14:34, Reply)

Like a thief in the night...
On a night out in Leeds, me and my mate met up with these birds we had seen in the pub a few times before. Went to a club, became attached to one of them. Back at her mates place (no idea who’s bed it was) tried to persuade her to go on top – no joy. She then told me her and her boyfriend had broken the bed sh*gging last week. “Hmm, great she has a boyfriend and he’s a great shag…”

Popped on the pink anorak and went at it…for about 30 seconds. We went to sleep in each others arms and then about 45 minutes later I scarpered. Only I didn’t know where I was and got lost on the way home.

I got her back for the boyfriend comment by stealing 40 Marlboro lights and an Oasis CD though.
(Bertie Dastard Wax on, wax off, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 14:17, Reply)

2 times
Ok, for me i would would say the 2nd time was better.
My first encounter was with my then girlfriend i was 19, she was 21, she stayed over after a nightout and the usual started off with a fumble leading to a brief rut, bit naff really.

The 2nd time is when i really consider me losing the V plates.
My (different) girlfriend & I (me 20, her 18)had been seeing eachother for 3 months, but one day i recieved a few txt messages;
Ive noticed you around...
I find you very attractive...
Would you...

These are actually lyrics from a dance song from years ago, but still a very very sweet way to ask, and the day well it was Febuary 14th.
So that night, flowers, a meal, few drinks then upstairs. Starting off with the usual fun until she was ready.
Bit of blood and pain for her on the first time, but like rabbits from then on.
And her catholic parents thought it only happened a few times. How wrong they were.

And there is nothing wrong with ginger girls, i like em ;)

Sorry for length, its err cold in here.
(Fishbone-didi, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 14:04, Reply)

Hmm...
When i was young (16), scruffy and stupid I used to attend a rather dire 'nightclub' called the Plaza.

It was a hellhole and the girls were easy...
Except I couldn't get any...

Desperately wanting 'anything'... I ended up with a rather large girl of questionable appearance. Ten minutes later we were outside in a dark alleyway. Me banging this horrid girl, this girl banging her head on the wall and my mate pissing into an empty pint glass ten yards away - asking me to hurry up...

Needless to say I walked home in the rain and my bollocks ached a lot.

Went home for a wank...

(YOU DID ASK!)

thanks.
(Kayozz, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 14:01, Reply)

Butlins
Well I was 17 and did the deed with a guy that worked on the fairground in Butlins.. classy... never got he's surname but he had the biggest k**b I've ever seen.. I do chose them!

Why do they always tell you the earth moves? Well the crusty apartment might have but other than that what a let down!
(LittleMissChatty, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 13:27, Reply)

Her name was Lucy.

It was a first for both of us. It took a while for me to get over nerves (glossing over the details ahem), and I don't think the earth moved for her even when I did.

We went out for a few months before I dumped her, and I was more of an arsehole about it than she deserved. Sorry Lucy :(

Still, life went on and things got better :p
( Button Man ...a right bottom feeder., Wed 9 Mar 2005, 13:08, Reply)

not me...
a guy in college paid a hooker so he can lose his.
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 12:29, Reply)

I was six
She was five and lived next door.

She'd come over to play on our trampoline in her bathers. I lured her into my cubby house and showed her the copy of "Where Do Babies Come From" that my parents had got me to explain the bulging stomach my mother was sporting. We decided to give it a go ourselves.

Can't say it was a rip-roaring success, but on the plus side I built up some sort of peadophillia immunity because I haven't had it off with any five year old girls since.

Embarrassing Postscript:
Around ten years later, living in a different city, down the shops with my Mum, who stops to chat with some lady and her daughter. "Oh you remember Wotshername don't you? They used to live next door to us back in OldTown, and Wotshername used to come over and play with you on the trampoline."
( Udderbelly A tale of four titties, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 7:51, Reply)