Dilemma
Dear Aunt B3ta,
I have a dilemma.
I am currently going out with Catherine Mrs Bear, who is very lovely and funny etc etc....but rather....boring...

I have been offered sex in the most blatant way possible by both my next door neighbours 19yr old dance student daughter (phwoar) and a certain other delectable 6th form lady (VERY pwhoar), fancied by all and sundry.
However, i am too much of a nice-guy to not feel bad about considering taking up said offers, due to the lack of action in my current relationship. What do i do?


answers on a postcard.

/sex and relationships blog :p

Edit: well done mr tea, didnt really realise i had used her name before posting it...

EditEdit:off out now, thanks for all that ladies and gents, you confirmed what i decided....go for it!:)
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:07, archived)

do all 3,
and their mothers
( Disco Dancer, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:08, archived)

Laurens (6th form lassy) mother is a fitty......
*slaps self*

:P
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:09, archived)

mmmm
yummy mummy
(Sheepattack!, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:10, archived)

You eat older women ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:15, archived)

I eat cannibal

( Geordie Al, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:17, archived)

Dump Catherine. Shag the other girls.

( King Ralph is drunk, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:08, archived)

I'm struggling to feel
either sympathy or empathy for you, here.

I'm also eating dried fruit.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:08, archived)

You are jealous
AICMFP :D
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:10, archived)

May be a little.
My formative, sexual years were never as fraught.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:15, archived)

This.
Do you want sex with lots of different girls who probably don't really care about you, or with one girl who means something to you? You can't have both.
Think how you'll feel in the long rung.
/counsellor
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:12, archived)

i am getting none from the one who "loves" me
and she may be seeing someone else as it is, hence why i am even CONSIDERING dumping her for casual sex....
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:19, archived)

So your girlfriend
is boring. Doesnt fuck you and you think she might be taking it from all angles from other men and putting pictures of the acts on the web ?

And you still need US to tell you that you should fuck other women ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:24, archived)

This.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:25, archived)

Why are you getting none from her? Has she gone off sex?
That's grounds for a dumping all by itself, regardless of whether she may be shagging other guys or not.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:30, archived)

You are a Relate counsellor
AICMP45
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:32, archived)

No, a retail counsellor:
"No, madam, the blue one suits you far better. The other one makes your arse look fat, to be honest."
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:37, archived)

...He's a ladder?

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:20, archived)

Lots!
Lots! Lots! Lots! Lots! Lots!

Edit: Of course, I say that as a happily married man.
*eyes up spite-face whores*
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:21, archived)

Give me their phone numbers and i will vet them for you*


*Vetting may involve boning
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:09, archived)

Just the advice i expected from you, sir ;)
I may bring lady-types to the bash for you, depending on how this all turns out :P
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:10, archived)

Yay!
Of course i will only be looking:p

Honest... *whistles*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:11, archived)

*boning may involve filleting.

You do it your way, I'll do it mine
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:10, archived)

hmmm that's a tricky one...
it's largely down to how serious your relationship is (bearing in mind that you're 18... though I have to remind myself that I was 18 when I met my husband) and whether it's worth damaging for a bit of physical fun (I've always been a great believer in physical fun)
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:09, archived)

See, thats what i was thinking....
I'm only 18, not like we're married.....and catherines changed alot....*sighs*

I'm going with the sex. Only live once!
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:12, archived)

good for you
just make sure you're careful
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:12, archived)

Yeah
give a false name
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:15, archived)

Pfft
and check their minges for teeth....
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:17, archived)

these
are wise words

softly spoken
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:20, archived)

Right choice
The very fact you're considering it says something about your current relationship
(Naughty Tortoise, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:25, archived)

Do it now
or you'll regret a wasted youth and end up leaving your beautiful, saintly wife with three screaming children and a fourth on the way for some spite-faced gold-digging whore who has no redeeming skills besides a good ability to fake a bad orgasm.

may contain traces of extrapolation.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:09, archived)

is there such
thing as a bad orgasm?
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:12, archived)

I'll give you one
if you're not careful.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:17, archived)

Try ejaculating blood,
then ask that question again.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:17, archived)

There is nothing so overrated as bad sex
and nothing as underrated as a good shit
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:19, archived)

That's the sort of thing that my dad likes to announce,
loudly, to absolute strangers.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:22, archived)

One day, one day I will
be your dad.

My son.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:23, archived)

I love you, Daddy, but, please, stop touching my special purpose.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:28, archived)

All porpoises are special
and they like being touched.

Just ask Flipper.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:34, archived)

Hurrah!
How can I make my dad like that?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:29, archived)

Fiddle with his blood pressure drugs,
until the arteries feeding his brain rupture.
Et, viola!
One headcase, with no sense of social standards.
On the downside, he will tell you jokes based on his sex life with your mother.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:34, archived)

I vote that we should all try to track down this Catherine,
tell her what you said here, and then your problem will be solved as you won't be going out with ANYONE AT ALL!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:09, archived)

Cunt :P
Oi you :P

Actually, this considering of said offers has been bought on by her flirtyness with other men....i am beginning to think rumours of her infidelity are true....
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:14, archived)

Oh, well that's fair enough then.
If you can talk one of your mates into shagging her for definite, you've got carte blanche to shag whoever you like.

Although I'd refrain in future from using peoples' real names like that ('Mrs. Bear' is all we need to know).
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:19, archived)

Turn into a wolf
at the next full moon and tear all their throats out with your teeth. Then rape a startled basset hound.
( Geordie Al, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:09, archived)

I think it is criticially important
that it is startled. well said that man.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:12, archived)

If it's unfazed,
you simply aren't raping it properly.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:13, archived)

If the basset hound
isn't startled, the whole plan is ruined.
( Geordie Al, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:14, archived)

this^

(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:13, archived)

That's the funniest thing
I have read all day.

And make sure the basset hound is Fred Basset because he deserves it more than most.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:14, archived)

this one

( hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:15, archived)

Mustn't... laugh
My work has a strict non-humour policy.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:17, archived)

Stay with the current one
give me the numbers of the other two
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:09, archived)

Donate the to me
so I might eat of their flesh.

Feeling bad about it doesn't make you a nice guy as you're clearly considering it!
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:10, archived)

If you think you're a nice guy you're probably a right asshole
so I would accept that fact, bang on a tight young dance student, and get on with your life
( hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:10, archived)

when you look back on your life
you will regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:10, archived)

this makes
no sense.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:14, archived)

Yes it does.
People tend to regret not having done things they wish they'd done far more often than they regret doing things they wish they hadn't done.
See?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:16, archived)

thank you

(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:18, archived)

He might regret not having
stayed with his current girlfriend.

Ok I'm splitting hairs but I've got nothing better to do.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:22, archived)

Staying with his current gf will not involve actively doing anything,
while splitting up with her to shag other girls certainly will.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:24, archived)

"will not involve actively doing anything"
I think that's the crux of the problem!
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:34, archived)

... and by the way, if you see your mom this weekend
be sure and tell her...

SATAN! SATAN! SATAN! SATAN! SATAN! ... etc
(Mr. Pgd, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:23, archived)

The Devil may have all the best tunes,
but Jesus built my hotrod.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:26, archived)

the wages of sin are death
but the hours are good.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:29, archived)

wank one thing each day
that scares you

/ac, really worryingly
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:30, archived)

It makes perfect sense,
and I for one live by this rule.

Top advice
( Spunkmeyer, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:23, archived)

comes down to
whether you value sex more than your relationship.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:11, archived)

No it doesnt

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:13, archived)

Unless you are already 40
you will regret not fucking all teh nubile teenagers you can when you are 40.

So fuck all teh nubile teenagers.

IF she's a boring cow :
a. she will still be there when you've spilled your seed up the other two
b. if you dont break her heart now, some other cunt will sooner or later.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:11, archived)

A bird in the hand
is worth two in the bush
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:12, archived)

gah!
Dont use sensible advice like that on me.....though, if you read my reply to Mr Tea, she may not be in the hand....
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:15, archived)

Ah
In that case, break hers before she breaks yours.

Or just avoid all breakages, if possible
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:17, archived)

Do what you want
but for gods sake split up with your girlfriend before shagging the others. Otherwise she will find out and be even more gutted.
( Dekazer, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:14, archived)

oh, i intended to
i'm not a complete cunt, though i suspect her of already seeing another bloke....tis funny, she was always a quiet one, but then they say its always the quiet ones :(
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:16, archived)

yes
or invite her to join in to see if it spices up the relationship*



*this is not particularly good advice
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:17, archived)

*cries*
and I thought you loved me.
(random lurker 's procrastination society: "100years Motto Free", Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:16, archived)

ARF!
Well done, whoever thought of that one (she has no idea b3ta exists :P)
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:17, archived)

you can change your username at will
unless someone else has taken it
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:19, archived)

wow
you registered 64 days ago in preparation for a joke that you couldn't possibly have known would have actually come up. good work!
( Fergburger, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:21, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/452898
( Barry Chuckle III - the troll with a soul., Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:26, archived)

i'm well aware of this (i changed my username this morning)
it was meant to be a joke.
( Fergburger, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:29, archived)

Ahh!
Another one of me! (And it's not even really me!)
(Easty's mum, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:25, archived)

I am starting to hate you!
*shakes fist*

Curses!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:26, archived)

what about me hot lips?

(random lurker 's procrastination society: "100years Motto Free", Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:27, archived)

You can stay...

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:29, archived)

kewl!
thnx, a/s/l?
(random lurker 's procrastination society: "100years Motto Free", Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:31, archived)

We need pictures to fully assess the situation
*fwap*
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:18, archived)

My heart bleeds.
Girls called Catherine are the embodiment of evil.
( Newington, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:19, archived)

Everyone always generalises.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:21, archived)

My mum's called catherine
well, cathy
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:23, archived)

finish with
catherine then do what ever you want. If your heart is not in it with her, then there is no point carrying on - you will only make it worse for her and yourself in the long run - and you are obviously having doubts, otherwise you would not be thinking about the other ladies.

/experience blog
( Jobe, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:22, archived)

Thats what i wanted to hear :)
and you're right, the doubts stem from the fact its (according to everyone else) common knowledges shes seeing someone else too...

cheers :)
(DaBear - Most eligible B3ta bachelor Most eligible B3ta bachelor, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:25, archived)

excellent.
that will be £50.00 please. I accept all major credit cards and also cheques. I prefer, however, used £5 notes in a brown paper bag.
( Jobe, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:28, archived)

This is a good point.
Regardless of the offers of sex and what-have-you: if you're having doubts, it generally means there's probably not much chance of a future for the relationship, in which case it's far better to end it now than later.

/also experience blog
(Mr. Pgd, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:26, archived)

Do 'em both ...
..on the bonnet of a car, like in that "film" I saw last night.
(G-Funk, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:24, archived)

pffft!
Ignore everything else and just do this.
( Jobe, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:28, archived)

That would explain the dents I found,
in the bonnet of my car, this morning.

Damned horny teenagers.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 14:31, archived)

I used to go out with a Catherine who was very boring.
I know from experience - dump her hard and go for sex
( Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 15:01, archived)