Never mind dolphins
Cuddle a shark instead.

Sharks are awesome, completely fit for their purpose and not changed for millions of years. What do you think is perfect?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

me, i'm smashing, and modest, and great
and bingo
( mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

Taking offence here because you didn't tell me not to.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

back up young man, i'm too nice for anyone to take offence, that is why i'm so smashing and brilliant
great forum, great forum user id:23553
( mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

Bivvys?

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

I'd like to see the headline
"SHARKS CAN BE FUCKED LIKE SHEEP SAYS MENTAL PATIENT"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

You wouldn't need velcro gloves
that's for sure.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

not all bivvys are perfect, some are a disgrace to the world of bivvys

( mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

I expect waterproofing and sturdiness in harsh conditions are important in a bivvy
does water not come in the front when it's raining though?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

It also should be coloured yellow and have a pikachu face on it

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

I think it should have a snail-shell print on it

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

Awww :)
I'd wear it on my back and slither around the pond, eating twigs all happy faced.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

HAY GUYZ
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

Pfft :D
*nyim nyim nyim*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

ahaha!
spot on
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

no it has a front on it, it can just be zipped off for summer or what not, my one that is, the door is up but that zips down too
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1228672858/bivvy222222.jpg
( mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

Great bivvy, great times.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T BORDERING ON EXTINCTION

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

This is true
but things go extinct for two reasons, either they are shit or they are adapted to an environment that changes/disappears. Some things that are on their way to extinction might be beautifully designed, but people have just fucked up the environment for them.

The opposite is the case with fucking seagulls. They thrive on eating shit.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

I always wonder why pigeons and seagulls scavenge off people
When other birds choose a more dignified life.

Pigeons are the b3tans of birdkind.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

Don't over-state our importance in this
there's plenty of changes to enviroments resulting in exctinctions that had nothing to do with us. We're a fuck sight less signifincant than we arrogantly think we are.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

I blame Thatcher for the dinosaurs thing

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

ME

( Mrs Sp@m, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

*high five*

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

I think when you hug a shark they make a sound like Blakey from On The Buses

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

I also think Chimps are perfect, I don't understand why we evolved.
They are cheeky and have funny faces and they pick their bums, what more do you want?!?!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

Telly, marmite and comics.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

I love comics. I've got all of next week off and I'm going to read Naruto from start to finish online. all 445 of them.
I've also got all 2000ADs from 1988-1996 so may dig those out too.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

I have 2000ad's from about 1983 to about 1992 with a few 1970's ones
I have every 2000ad and Judge Dredd annual up to about 1995

I would sell the lot tomorrow if I could get a decent price for the bastards. Can't be bothered to sell them one at a time for 50p each on ebay....
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

I've got the first ever Simpsons comic which is worth a few bob now, fuck knows where it is though.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

I used the first ever copy of Superman to wipe my arse on.
I gave the soiled item to my next door neighbour's little girl who ate it.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

I've got a lot of very early Viz comics
I bet they are worth sixty or seventy pence each now.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

I might take a few days off and reread all of Preacher again
which is my favourite. I want to buy more Battlepope as well, I've got the trades of the first few issues and OHMYGOODNESS it's good.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

I have the full Akira in digtial format
waiting for the day I have find the time/have another shit long flight.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

Bicycles

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

sounds like you
:P
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

OooooOOOOOOO!! AAAHAAAAHAAAAAHAAHHHH!!
*underarm lobs a poop at you*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

*whips out the tennis racquet of shyte reflection and bats it right back at you*
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Self awareness
Mime
War
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

we didn't evolve from chimps
that's not how it works. Us and chimps both evolved in different ways from a coscestor.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

Evolution? I'll not have you peddling that Satanic filth around here, m'boy
Why don't you have a chimp round for tea then if they're part of the family? EH?
( Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

Fundies Say The Darndest Things
[Replying to 'as for not seeing evolution it takes several million years... incase you missed that memo...']

several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.

From www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

Hah, I like the idea of the Eternal Chimp

( Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

Yet to have it yet, shouldn't be long now.
/ac
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

That is exactly why I adore sharks.
Crocodiles too. Donosaury goodness, no need to change. As far as I know anyway.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

Crocodiles were my favourite animal when I was a mini-spang.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

They're still one of mine now.
Crocodiddles, geckos, cats (all of them, big ones and little), sharks and big hairy Scottish cows.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

Crocodilios, pangolins, jackals and kitty cats
axolotls and such. Lovely beasties.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

YM

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

Although i've never met her
I'm sure she's very nice.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

Your mum,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

Too slow Loser!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

Aren't you still convinced I'm a girl?
If so you should be nicer to me.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

I like sharks.
I also like Saturn.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

I have held a shark on my lap
and fed it little fish.

Swimming with dolphins is gay.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

That's awesome.
Is their skin as sandpapery as people say?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

Yes very much so, rougher than you would imagine.
And the jolt of muscular activity when you feed it a fish and it snaps its jaws is awesome. This was just a 4ft shark too, imagine what a 10ft shark would be like to rape feed.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

Rough surfaces, counter-intuitively, have less drag.
Think of golf balls. If you want your car to be more fuel efficient, sand it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

or go for the golf-ball physics
and smack it right up with a ball-peen hammer.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

Can you imagine playing golf with a shark instead of a ball ?
What a load of shite people post on here...
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

Tigershark Woods

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

Ernie Eels

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

If I ever get a car, I'm going to try this.
It'll make my dad go nuts.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

Only when pressure drag is dominant, otherwise the opposite is true.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

You're a bit late for this discussion.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Sorry. Working.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

That's ok,
it doesn't make you wrong.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

I suppose not.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

You say just 4ft forgetting
that spango is probably that height.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

That's true
The biggest one in the tank I swam in was 7ft, they didnt let you molest that one though.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

It really is a bit shit isn't it?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

Mrs HB & I went on a dolphin safari in a Chinese junk.
True dat.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

Were they wild ?
To be fair, I did swim with captive dolphins. It was in Israel and they were in a pen in the sea being gradually "released" into the wild after living a long time in aquariums.

I think encountering a wild dolphin would be a different ball game, captive ones are just bored shitless
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

Wild? They were livid!

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

don't put your cock in their blow holes then, they can't stand it

( mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

Aw I love sharks.
We were at a sealife centre somewhere and we were walking through the tunnel bit, where you can see all the sharks swimming about above you. There was a mummy shark and mini baby shark who was swimming directly under her. It was cuteness, in shark form.

I think bats are pretty much perfect. Reason? Because I said so.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

Daww lookit it's little face!
Bats are cool. I like the big ones, the huge flying fox type ones that live in jungles.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

At the west midlands safari park
they have this thing called the twilight caves where there are bats just flying about the place, around your heads. It was awesome. I didn't want to go home.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

Sharks can be cuddled like dolphins, say scientists
+ who have never seen the film Jaws.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

Their skin is like sandpaper
in fact, shark skin was used as an early form of sandpaper.
( turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

Not all of them.
Some are smooth skinned, some are sandpapery.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

That would be the smooth skined sharks.
Also, not all sharks have heads that are shaped like hammers, but they are shit at bashing in nails.
( turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

So shark skin toilet paper wouldn't be much good then?

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

This stuff is better for that
( turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

Sharks are fucking awesome.
/ac

I love them. Do you know what else is awesome, RAYS. Rays are the best ever.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

I must say
after swimming with sting rays and nurse sharks, the rays were much cooler. really scary to feed too as you have to let them envelop your hand.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

I bet that wasn't the first Ray to envelop your hand.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

I LOVE them.
I turn into a squealy five year old when I see them.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

Try telling that to Steve Irwin

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

Not sting rays, nice mini rays.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

Ray Winstone
Shark Lamarr
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays!
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

they're like awesome spaceships,
only made of fish.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

I NO.
They're so lovely and friendly.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Stegostoma_fasciatum_thailand.jpg
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

Awww!
Look at his face:)
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

MC Hammerhead

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

Great Barry White.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

Basking Cole

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

Easy tiger.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

Manta rays!
We watched some of the Blue Planet dvd last night, there were rays and stuff in that.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

I WANT A RAY:((((
The shitty pet shop at home had a baby one for sale a few years ago.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

That's a disgrace

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

Yeah, I know.
They are such a shit shop. I worked in the vet practice they used, only brought them in when they were dying.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

Rays are sharks.
/useless fact of the day
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Yeah, I know.
That's how COOL they are.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Double-cool.
with chocolate sprinkles

/you can tell them apart by counting the gill slits, you know. Rays have 5.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

Ooh, I didn't know that.
We don't do much about sharks in vet nursing school, as you can imagine.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Praying Mantises
aren't perfect, but they are cool. "Mantis" means "soothsayer" or "prophet".
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

I saw a video of a girl eating a live one.
They do look like little prophets, all bug-eyed and wavy-armed.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

Was she hot/naked ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

I don't know.
I'm cynical.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

i'm cylindrical
it makes life difficult sometimes
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

I'm cyclical
I just rotate, constantly
( Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

I just had one of those really good cups of tea that really hits the spot.
I think it's quite perfect when that happens.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Spiders deserve hugs too
Awww
( SuperMatt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

I quite like a bit of scotch egg

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

Women can't resist a scotch egg

( Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

Nice long hot baths.
Oh yes. Yum yum. Maybe with a little bar of chocolate and some Lush goodies.
( Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)