b3ta.com talk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Message 6214083

Right, what's confusing you now?
I'm very good at sorting this sort of thing out.

EDIT: Have some COMEDY GOLD; news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8091605.stm
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)
I thought all tubes were striking?
How come some are and some aren't?
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)
To keep Boris Johnson as confused as possible.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)
he's not confused at all
he's very bright. which is what makes him dangerous.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)
No, it's the lasers in his eyes that make him dangerous.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)
I think he is actually a robot from the far but imperfect future
one in which they have trouble with speech software.

I I I I am boris 2000.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)
I imagine it's like a fireman's strike
although most don't want to work, some will do their best to keep a skeleton service going, just in case.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)
so what you're saying is you're going to set the striking tube lines on fire

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)
and fill them with skeletons

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)
only about 23% of them (as in RMT members) actually wanted to go on strike
the problem, right, is that RMT are utter, utter cunts and Bob Crow should be fed alive to ravenous pigs.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)
maybe the drivers on the Northern and Jubilee are with a different Union.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)
only one union (the most cunty one)
is striking. So not all the staff are off. Some tube lines can be run at reduced capacity, with others it isn't worth it. Usually they try and run the northern (as it has the most passengers) and the picaddily(as it goes to Heathrow) if at all possible.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)
fuck me I might be right

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)
you are. So adopt the position, love.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)
What if she's misplaced her strap-on?

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)
I've got something she can use instead.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)
A can of squirty cream and some double sided tape?

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

www.explosm.net/comics/1678/
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)
dwarves with lots of body hair and velcro pants

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)
She's just got it on back to front.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

back to front inside-out
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)
A rip-off?

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)
haha.
How's the low country?
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)
Low.
The sun is hiding and all the leggy Dutch blonde lovelies are covering up again. And everyone's very amused about the cricket.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)
sounds splendid
I assume you've seen this?

www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/dutch-to-invent-word-for-
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)
Excellent.
Speaking as a non cricket fan with many ardent cricket fan friends, I am most amused by the whole situation.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)
I have it in a hip holster, always ready for use.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)
I do a really clean men shot, run through good zanshin good body position but it doesn't score
why not?
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)
Crooked umpire.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)
oh well

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)
Wise man once say "If at first you don't succeed, redefine success"

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)
Wise man also say
'if in 5 man team, leave best 'til last'

followed by

'holy fuck, you guys winned'
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)
Quitters never win
and winners never quit.

However, if after a long time, you've neither won nor quit, maybe someone is trying to tell you something.

See also - before you try and beat the odds, be sure you can survive the odds beating you.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)
new thing to run, no user notes, need to log these thingies *wangles*
but there's 4 massive network drives to choose from where the one sheet I need that I don't know the name of might be.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)
Clear your mind, close your eyes, and guess.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)
Right.
*inserts log IDs into word copies of the chairman's blog*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)
I'm having difficulty understanding why anyone would voluntarily watch Dr Who

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)
I can't speak for everyone
but I'm shallow enough to watch it because David Tennant is lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)
This
and I think he's also very good at playing the doctor. Also I like the Steven Moffat episodes, they're well written. I hold high hopes for the new series, and crazyfaceboy.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)
you fancy Catherine Tate you do

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)
No
the only big knockered ginger I have designs on is myself thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)
said Catherine Tate, meant Bernard Cribbins

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)
I like bernard cribbins

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)
she is a versatile and entertaining actress

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)
have you got sunstroke?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)
Some people are six years old and retarded.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)
It allows the abstraction of complex social issues into situations that allow the issues to be examined with tools unavailable in conventional settings

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)
Why do hormonal inbalances make me cry at things that are usually funny?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)
Because you need to man up.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)
I shall do this immediately.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)
because it was your gran that fell over, thus not funny.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)
Even as drunk as she always was, she was usually quite steady.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)
good gran,

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)
The most entertaining woman I have ever known.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)
Because we want to ! because we want to !
Why do you have to play that song so loud?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)
Oh god...
I hope you're going to behave yourself tomorrow.
There will be no discussions involving Hollyoaks.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)
I'm 5 weeks behind on hollyoaks now.
=(((

I think I'm over it, I can't be arsed to watch it anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)
NOOOOOO
it's been well good. WARREN IS DEAD
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)
Oh please don't start him off :(

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)
Wait a sec, hold on here....
I saw Clare return for the 5 minuites I saw before my flatmate wanted to watch some sort of sports thing.

Did she kill him?

Oh man, I'm going to have to watch it on 4od.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)
Uh oh apocalypse

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)
Why anyone would NOT want to move here.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)
We don't have any jobs for them to steal anymore.
Also, I'll be down in Kilkenny this weekend, if you're on for pints.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)
Ooh, yes indeed.
Whereabouts?
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)
The "city."
I'll be heading down on Friday. We can sort out somewhere for you to stay if you want to come up for a night.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)
Cool, might do.
Might get my buddy Ed to come with me for the session.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)
Smooth.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)
because your economy, if this is actually possible, is more fucked than the UK's
Your transport infrastructure is shambolic, the country is massively reliant on tax breaks and kickbacks offered to foreign companies to invest (which will of course backfire horribly sooner or later) and your capital city has been a gigantic building and roadworks site for the last 10 years.

I love Ireland really, but you did ask.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)
True, it's still nicer though.
And I stay firmly out of Dublin.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)
aren't you living in the east midlands somewhere?
trust me, Basra would be nicer.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)
In England?
I'm in Northampton. Shithole.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)
Weren't you planning on moving to stoke?
Out of the frying pan...
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)
Haha, yeah, we're not now.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)
Come to Manchester. It's fucking dead boss.
AND we've got GMoS.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)
Is it not rough as fuck?
*starts a row*
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)
Northampton, Esme. NORTHAMPTON.
no, it's a very pleasant city to be fair. even the rough areas have nice bits.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:14, archived)
Cool:)
I was only messing, most people I know who've been there said it was great. And the people who didn't are Man U fans that got beaten.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)
.. and into the festering chemical toilet full of shit and used tampons?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)
It's 4 years of my life I'll never get back...

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)
I was more or less right.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)
You could be, according to some forms.
Some say west midlands, east midlands, or south east I've seen on one. Which makes no fucking sense.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)
I'm unsure if I should cook some leeks in butter or olive oil
Ms Official is pretending to be on a diet this week so I am being forced to make food based concessions to her neuroses.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)
Butter.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)
Thank you for your sage advice on the matter
TO THE COOKORIUM!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)
Not sage
Butter
(annhialus hasn't had an accident since, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)
This is no thyme for puns.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)
Butter.
Although either doesn't sound very diet friendly.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)
Quite
If you're going to be unhealthy you may as well go for the one that tastes best.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)
Butter

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)
Butter.

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)
Lard

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)
If I had beef dripping it would be the frying medium of choice

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)
Olive oil, nice olive oil.
Yum.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)
petrol

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)
Brandy

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)
why is there always a giant fluorescent bastard in the area I want to use?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)
Where to find the dates of hymns.
You know, when they were first composed and sung.
(I helped save b3ta! Bats, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)
The Catholic Encyclopedia has a good article on this, but it was written a hundred years ago, so isn't quite up to date.
www.thebookshelfinmylivingroom.ie
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)
Was that a real URL?
I'm never sure these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Bats, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)
Oh dear.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)
Sorry :(

(I helped save b3ta! Bats, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)
play it on a piano
cut the piano open and count the rings
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)
I've just noticed that cheese and onion french fries come in a blue pack and salt and vinegar in green
But cheese and onion squares come in green and salt and vinegar in blue. They are both made by Walkers so why?
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)
that's a bloody good point
we must write to Walkers immediately!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)
Also, how did I manage to make myself move to a whole other country,
when I hate leaving home.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)
my legs feel tingly.
I might go for a walk.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)
My legs feel sexy.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)
An old man stands naked in front of a mirror eating soup.
He is an idiot.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)
This week Chris Patten, like King Kong, is making a monkey of himself over Hong Kong.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)
Would it be wrong to stand next to one of those big car wash machines, wait for someone to use it, and ask if I can sit in the car with them?
They're well good fun.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)
That would be very dangerous.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)
Yes
But you can come and take my car through one as it needs cleaned and I'm scared of them.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)
It's a bit of a trek, but I think it might be worth it.
They're really good fun.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)
is that your new chatline
`can I sit in your car whilst it gets all soapy`
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)
Gravity is against me
it just keeps on pushing me down.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)
Don't be such a fruit.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)
If you had enough homosexuals
Could you stand them in a ring so that, when one pushes forward the next in the ring gets the thrust, as he withdraws he would be then driven into by the one behind.
Is there a certain amount of people needed to form this continuous chain or would 1 always be out of sync?
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)
You can do it with nine poofters, but you need seven of them to be quite slim, as well as two fatties, at least one of whom is particularly well endowed.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

Ha ha
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)
EGGCELLENT.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)
I didn't realise how fat and cunty he is.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)
Front page stuff of the LEP
www.lep.co.uk/news/Shoppers-see-binman-batter-rat.5349229.jp
(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)
"There were also 1,004 complaints about mice in 2007/8"
mostly due to drunk and lewd behaviour.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)
why nobody told me this was a bad day to jump under a tube train, 6 hours i've been waiting to kill myself

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)
decide for yourself or did someone tell you to?

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)
i've just come to realise what a horrible person i am and all the forum love won't ease me of this burden

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)