b3ta.com talk

Home » Talk » Archive 14442 (Older | Newer)

An American just threatened me on twitter
I am disappointed about this. Mostly as I know the little basement dwelling dropped on his head as a child knuckle dragging half wit won't ever actually "come over here and find me"

Apart from this thread, what has disappointed you today?
(

TBL I posted this on, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:05, archived)

can I say b3ta?

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:10, archived)

You can

(

TBL I posted this on, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:57, archived)

not being allowed to say 'Hitler'.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:47, archived)

Just casually drop "Mein Führer" into the conversation that usually works

(

TBL I posted this on, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:59, archived)

You can also compulsively raise your right arm in a salute and then grab it and force it down with your left arm, as if you're not in full control of your own limbs.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 20 Sep 2021, 15:41, archived)

Not allowed to say "Hitler"?
What is this, Nazi Germany or something?!?!?!
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 20 Sep 2021, 15:20, archived)

The fact that I don't have a cleaner

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:51, archived)

when my wife gets a new job, the first thing we'll do is hire a cleaner
the second thing is to buy a new mattress

amazing, huh?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:54, archived)

About the only thing I don't need is a new mattress

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 13:04, archived)

if you buy the mattress first, the cleaner'll be able to clean that as well

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 15:30, archived)

he'd better not SPRING it on her!!!!!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 15:36, archived)

smegging smeggy smeg

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:51, archived)

TBL as internet hardman certainly doesn't dissapoint ME on the internet.
BT's new landline-via-wifi policy disappoints me. Now, if your internet connection is lost, so is your phone line! Now if your house catches fire, you can't call the fire brigade! Brilliant.

Also my father slightly disappointed me today, as he thought he needed to unplug his wifi router and plug it into itself to make his phone work.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 13:29, archived)

morning

(

broadsword, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 14:09, archived)

guyrim

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 14:14, archived)

anal

(

broadsword, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 14:16, archived)

meh,

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 14:25, archived)

Nopeit is afternoon
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 14:18, archived)

hi guy's

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:02, archived)

Alright

(

mongychops, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:06, archived)

10 days until I turn 48
not exactly excited about this
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:09, archived)

#lolold

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:12, archived)

I'm 47 next month
Still in denial about being old enough to be a grandmother
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:30, archived)

Thats a fire risk of candles

(

mongychops, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:42, archived)

isn't it just

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:51, archived)

alright, giving serious thought to ordering a pair of those camo Busenitz Pros, even though the green Pumas I got are still boxed.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:13, archived)

Hello
Bit of a shame that the composite sheets I'd ordered were CNC'd the wrong way around. Fair play, the company dropped by the right shape this morning, but it did put our plans out-of-shape. It's looking good though...
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:16, archived)

Also
Beefy - are you rocking a pair of those amazing Lidl sneakers? I bet you'd look well rad in them...
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:18, archived)

I had to google those, wtf
I've just taken delivery of a pair of these:

www.80scasualclassics.co.uk/blog/puma-oslo-city-1980s-vintage/

Just waiting for bboylaces.co.uk to deliver my light blue laces, then I'll be fresh af
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:34, archived)

I see your Lidl sneakers and raise you
www.ikea.com/us/en/p/knorva-hat-blue-50447338/
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 11:58, archived)

I'll see your Ikea hat and raise you a Marine Scarlet outfit
(Marine is an old friend of mine... she's an icon)

www.instagram.com/p/CSe5sDSoWdK/
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:06, archived)

There's something very Drag Race about that.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:10, archived)

You ain't seen the half of it...

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 14:16, archived)

Big Leigh Bowery feel to some of those photos!

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 20 Sep 2021, 15:44, archived)

ok you win

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:23, archived)

Marnie is definitely a Top Trump winning card

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 14:16, archived)

lol bag lady

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:31, archived)

Check out her Sainsbury's dungarees

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 14:16, archived)

that was the default pic that loaded from your link

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 14:41, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 6:56, archived)

technically correct

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 7:25, archived)

morning

(

broadsword, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 7:48, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 7:50, archived)

morning

(

broadsword, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 7:48, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 7:50, archived)

Morning

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 8:00, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 8:42, archived)

morning

(

broadsword, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 9:33, archived)

it's another manic morning

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 8:15, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 8:42, archived)

morning

(

broadsword, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 9:33, archived)

morning

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 8:33, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 8:42, archived)

morning

(

broadsword, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 9:33, archived)

Morning

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 9:22, archived)

morning

(

broadsword, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 9:33, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 9:40, archived)

Can we have a breakfast thread?
I has Cheerios and apples
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 9:34, archived)

go fuck yourself

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 9:40, archived)

cheese toastie this morning

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 9:44, archived)

I'm afraid not, no

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 9:56, archived)

you mean to say
morning
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 10:24, archived)

Scrambled eggs on toast and a coke

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 10:26, archived)

Toast tea and Orange juice.
Not exactly the breakfast of champions but it does the job.
(

TBL I posted this on, Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:07, archived)

Scrambled eggs with chanterelles, hedgehog mushrooms and blue cheese, plus herbs,
on toasted home-made wholemeal bread. And coffee.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 20 Sep 2021, 12:11, archived)

GOODBYE

(sticklebricks, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 20:47, archived)

Next

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 21:22, archived)

Have you eaten yet? I'm bloody starrrrrvin!!
I wanted to go out for sunday dinner but other half insisted on cooking. I can't even smell any food coming from the kitchen.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 16:32, archived)

anything good on tv?

(piss and shit, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 17:41, archived)

not really.

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 20:42, archived)

Just ordered Goan curry.
Well nom.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 19 Sep 2021, 19:06, archived)

Just had a Goan your naan.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 21:23, archived)

Vg

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 19 Sep 2021, 22:26, archived)

I'm not hungry
So I'm drinking my dinner
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 19:27, archived)

Pie in the oven.
Checked into a cottage in the North York Moors for 4 nights, apparently this is where that TV mast burned down so there's no telly. Had a bottle of prosecco in the hot tub, listening to Lee 'Scratch' Perry & friends, chilling out as the sky darkens and the stars come out. But there's no telly, might write off the next 3 nights and go stay in a travelodge so we can watch Eastenders instead.

#garoldklaxon
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 19:30, archived)

lovely part of the world, enjoy

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 20:31, archived)

Stay on the road. Keep clear of the moors.

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 20:41, archived)

That's enough. THAT'S. ENOUGH.

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 21:00, archived)

Wait, what, your telly can cook?

(

broadsword, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 21:21, archived)

Morning.
Alt.: favourite metamorphic rock? It's got to be schist for me.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 19 Sep 2021, 10:39, archived)

Fuck
240v packs a kick doesn’t it?!?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 11:27, archived)

Have you zapped yourself?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 19 Sep 2021, 12:43, archived)

…
Yes
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 13:44, archived)

At least you’re honest about it, Frank Zappa

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 14:27, archived)

was it enough of a jolt to make you lose control of your bodily functions?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 15:00, archived)

No
Just slammed my hand into the wall as a reaction and shouted FUCK a lot
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 16:56, archived)

I advise turning the electrics off. But as you are a diyer. Do it yourself.be amusing when your house burns down and they ask about the competence of the work.

(

mongychops, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 17:43, archived)

I shout fuck regularly
It helps with most things
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 19:25, archived)

I like muscovite
Which is commonly found in schist
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 11:48, archived)

Technically a mineral, but I'll allow it.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 19 Sep 2021, 12:36, archived)

Jesus Christ Marie

(Martin Anus, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 18:23, archived)

Morning.
Trondhjemite today, yesterday it was Serpentinite, don't judge me lol
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 13:15, archived)

A true connoisseur's choice.
/ac
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 19 Sep 2021, 13:26, archived)

dunno. Henry Cow, maybe or Stormy Six

(piss and shit, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 13:50, archived)

For god’s sake man where’s your self-respect

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 14:25, archived)

outside picking up shit
If I remember the joke correctly
(piss and shit, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 15:39, archived)

I'm choosing Granofels
in solidarity with the victims and survivors of Grenfell.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 14:01, archived)

I’m a survivor of Grenfell AMA

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 14:25, archived)

there's loads of shale and basalt in my area
which doesn't make them any favorites of mine. but shale may contain fossils, so that's cool.
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 14:59, archived)

fossils are, indeed, cool
except ferns. they're a bit shit.
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 15:36, archived)

especially cotton

(piss and shit, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 15:40, archived)

I'm finally going on a plane soon to a hot country.
Can anyone recommend a decent inflatable lilo?
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 21:39, archived)

l +d +d
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 21:51, archived)

"I'm finadly going on a pdane"?

(piss and shit, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 10:15, archived)

Don’t worry they supply them. They inflate automatically when you crash into the sea at 550mph.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 21:54, archived)

Haven't bought a lilo for over 30 years

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 1:10, archived)

DRIMBLE DRIMBLE DRIMBLE
This is the third and final invocation, the other two didn’t work. I’m starting to wonder if Beetlejuice was factually inaccurate.
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 14:11, archived)

I MADE HIM OUT OF CLAY

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 17:00, archived)

Lol Golem

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 17:39, archived)

lol

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 17:55, archived)

^ what he said

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 21:12, archived)

+' ~~DE HIM OUT OF C~~ L G
(

broadsword, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 20:30, archived)

nice fucken model

(piss and shit, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 18:26, archived)

maybe you have to say it 5 times like Candyman

(piss and shit, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 18:29, archived)

If he’s that fucking fussy I don’t want him back

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 19:33, archived)

Have I got a second series?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 21:08, archived)

Did you have a first?

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 21:55, archived)

mornin'g

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 9:56, archived)

morning

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 10:17, archived)

hullo wood-o

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 11:02, archived)

what's your favourite way to cook eggs?
I think mine is omlette
(piss and shit, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 10:19, archived)

menemen

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 11:02, archived)

haha, like on sesame street!!

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 11:02, archived)

Da daah, da-da da-da!

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 18 Sep 2021, 11:33, archived)

Hahaha, classic!

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 13:26, archived)

so you love men?

(piss and shit, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 11:45, archived)

some of them

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 13:18, archived)

Haha you love some men ahahaha

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 14:19, archived)

also
isn't that just a fritata?
I've certainly unwittingly cooked a few of those in my time
(piss and shit, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 11:46, archived)

it contains eggs
Other than that it bears no resemblance to a frittata whatsoever
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 13:17, archived)

Shakshuka

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 14:19, archived)

Or heuvos rancheros

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 14:20, archived)

huevos perros

(piss and shit, Sun 19 Sep 2021, 13:53, archived)

alrigh't

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 10:22, archived)

y
jr has gone out, unsupervised, to hang out with her m8 in Bow - at 13 this shouldn't be a big deal but it is.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 11:03, archived)

Having lived in that shithole for a number of years, I understand your concern.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 18 Sep 2021, 11:34, archived)

I hope all the slashtalk posters have an 'alright' weekend!
cheers
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 16:58, archived)

Cheers arse alright anal

(

broadsword, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 17:40, archived)

I'm so fucking stressed, my work situation is doing my fucking nut in
So much I don't know, jesus

LOLOLOLOLOL
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 17:42, archived)

Crack open a bottle of gin

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 17:50, archived)

Or vice-versa.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 17 Sep 2021, 18:26, archived)

Open a crack with a gin bottle?

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 18:35, archived)

Smoke crack from a gin bottle ?

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 19:03, archived)

All crack smoked from a gin bottle tastes the same

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 20:32, archived)

like bugs under the skin?

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 20:39, archived)

No thanks

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 21:15, archived)

Anyone remember pasanonic? Gayshift legend gronkpan once told pasanonic he was going to fly from Aus to London to beat him up. pasanonic said he’s be there waiting at the airport.
He was totally serious, if we’d given him a flight number he would have stood there with his fists clenched for hours, maybe even days. That’s how rock hard he was.
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 18:39, archived)

wow

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 18:46, archived)

Now he'd have to quarantine firtst
So a fortnight of screaming at a travelodge after the flight lands. Could be good
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 19:00, archived)

I met gronk, nice fella

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 19:47, archived)

Pantsseatflyer was great , and you mofs. The rest can get fucked, nazi nun bollox et al

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 19:50, archived)

lol

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 20:32, archived)

I was on good termz with Pasa for a while
he gave me ftp access to a load of pirated films.
Then suddenly I couldn't get in and he blanked me on board 🤷‍♂️
(piss and shit, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 20:59, archived)

Add pirates to films, show us the results

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 21:14, archived)

add pirates to penzance, show us the results

(piss and shit, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 22:11, archived)

pirates of men's pants, ahah lol rofoll

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 11:11, archived)

so I've heard

(piss and shit, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 11:47, archived)

cheers

cheers
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 18:58, archived)

Rob has 20 candles today

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 19:55, archived)

Cheers. I just had my COVID booster in my left arm and my flu jab in my right arm and then spent this evening playing Beat Saber for 2 hours.
It's safe to say my arms are now totally fucked.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 22:44, archived)

PANTS and ASS

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 22:55, archived)

It's against my religion (Jainism) to click your posts but this one I did

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 7:07, archived)

Now it is the afternoon

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:39, archived)

Whats for lunch. Lol.

(Geordiejay 👀, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:41, archived)

hey man what up
Leftover albacore tuna linguine here
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:55, archived)

Noms
(Geordiejay 👀, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:17, archived)

Read that as albacore tuna lingerie

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 18:44, archived)

I never want to leave the house again
Went to the shop and tried to ask for a can of coke and a can of pop at the same time. What I actually asked for is a can of cock. Kill me.
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:45, archived)

Did they give you one..?
(Geordiejay 👀, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:50, archived)

A can of coke, yes

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:52, archived)

they must have thought you were forrin

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:06, archived)

lol
reminds me of when my old pal Luke asked for a pouch of Golden Vagina at the newsagents
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:56, archived)

no he neva m8

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:03, archived)

ne'

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:11, archived)

Arrow News, Southgate St Winchester, c1987-8
Scrumpy was involved
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:22, archived)

you're just not putting the effort into your lies these days

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:33, archived)

Reminds me of when nf Neil went into the shop for a packet of snouts, and ended up yelling pakis out and smashing the window . What a faux pas

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:35, archived)

it's an easy mistake to make, we've all done it

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:57, archived)

Reminds me of the time our deputy headmaster dragged a kid who’d been caught stealing over to the newsagents to apologize. The deputy head was smart enough to search the kid on the way out, and sure enough he’d stolen a load more stuff.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 18:48, archived)

I can I can't?!

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:11, archived)

Twelfty!
(Geordiejay 👀, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:17, archived)

WE DIDN'T BURN HIM!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:19, archived)

Reminds me of the time I went to buy coconut milk and accidentally asked for hairy cunt juice, whoops

(

broadsword, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:55, archived)

We've all done it.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 13:57, archived)

Alright Stewart Lee's impression of Russell Howard

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 7:51, archived)

Reminds me of the time I wanted to go for a pint in the Ship, but accidentally ate a pie made of shit

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 14:00, archived)

'accidentally'

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 14:00, archived)

Reminds me of the time I went to The Cock Inn but accidentally had my cock out

(

broadsword, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 14:03, archived)

There's a cockwell Inn near me

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 14:07, archived)

I bet there is...
(Geordiejay 👀, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 14:12, archived)

Didn't realise you lived near Tillit, Herts

(

broadsword, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 14:35, archived)

I don't
This one is in anfield
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 15:09, archived)

I'm of to parkway in 2 weeks, is it alright there? Hope the like a londoner

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 15:55, archived)

Don't think I've been there
But it's near hunts Cross, so possibly dodgy
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 17:00, archived)

Reminds me of the time I went to Hunts Cross but accidentally ended up in a cunt horse

(

broadsword, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 17:34, archived)

Can you tell me the way to Suckham?

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 2:34, archived)

Excuse me? I need to know the easiest way to get to Suckham.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Sep 2021, 2:37, archived)

like this?
www.sadanduseless.com/canned-cooked-chicken/
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 15:11, archived)

I sure do!
b3ta.com/talk/8311597
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 15:13, archived)

morning
nice sunny one here.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 7:35, archived)

No trains running here, might go home

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 7:41, archived)

sounds like it's more trouble than it's worth, home you go

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 7:46, archived)

Morning
Bit of a chilly start here
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 7:42, archived)

anything planned for the weekend?
got the kid (hopefully), skating, watching films and eating is the plan. Going to make a chicken bhuna which I've not done before
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 7:48, archived)

are you going to pop some rad ollies?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 7:52, archived)

not me, no

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:12, archived)

is she at that stage yet?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:13, archived)

no idea
not seen her for weeks
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:15, archived)

Mostly trying not to claw my arm off
I've put bepanthen on it, but it's already itching like fuck. Got an interview for a receptionist job tomorrow afternoon in travelodge, so fingers crossed for that
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 7:53, archived)

best of luck m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:12, archived)

Thanks

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:20, archived)

morning
lovely sunny day in York
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 7:55, archived)

my mother was banging on about us taking jr to York last Sunday
I told her to fuck off, obv
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:14, archived)

she'd enjoy it, loads for a kid of her age to do

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:24, archived)

and it's really, really white

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:25, archived)

morning
Friday, finally
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:02, archived)

hullo m8
time going incredibly slowly for me too at the moment
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:13, archived)

YouTube suggested this yesterday: https://youtu.be/eFt4eGwMqNI
it was gr8
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:17, archived)

Soul Jazz are hands down the best label for compilations ever, they're amazing
Whatever genre they cover, their selections are just superb.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:23, archived)

Morning queef, sad times here, opened a pack of hovis with a best before of the 20th & it's already going manky

(

broadsword, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:47, archived)

He weren't a grand baker were our dad then?

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:54, archived)

I hate it when that happens
I see Tom Kerridge has a range with Hovis now. He'll make a fortune from that, wonder if it's any good or just the start of him endorsing literally anything for money, like Marco Pierre White does :(
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 9:29, archived)

ah yes, the Michelin starred chef that uses Oxo stock pots, that's the guy!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 9:30, archived)

Have you seen the videos he did for them?
They're on YouTube. The comments are brilliant, full of people saying stuff like "If you look carefully at 10:43, you can see the precise moment his soul dies."
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 17 Sep 2021, 9:47, archived)

no
Did he not also do ads where he mixed a stick cube with olive oil to make a marinade or something?

Big fall from grace for him eh.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 9:54, archived)

AND YEAH, A 'STICK CUBE', WHAT OF IT?????

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 9:54, archived)

Ussama Khan
7 months ago
Marco blink 3 times if you’re being held captive by Knorr Corp
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 17 Sep 2021, 10:08, archived)

He's no Hairy Biker

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:41, archived)

Hahaha

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 14:08, archived)

To be fair, he needs the work to pay for his cunt of a son's bugle habit

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 10:42, archived)

Maarning
How's London today?
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 8:49, archived)

hullo
It's a nice day here, how's things where you are?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 10:41, archived)

Nice and warm. Making trout mousse today :))

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:39, archived)

lovely
I've decided to roast a duck on Sunday, with a honey balsamic glaze
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:46, archived)

might get a pair of those camouflage Busenitz Pros

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 9:15, archived)

~~a pair of those camouflage Busenitz Pros~~ fucked
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 9:27, archived)

FINALLY taking my advice

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 9:27, archived)

you could make us all happy by 'doing a Skagra'

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 9:28, archived)

Strikey a ra

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:40, archived)

Yeah
Got a gas fitter connecting up the hob. We’ve not fried anything in the house since June!
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 10:57, archived)

Had a company around the corner do the splash backs
Sent the design and they did it in the CNC machine. Looks really good. Seems to fit. Taking a large off cut of worktop into the fabrication Worksop at work, get them to turn it into 80cm strops so we can use it for finishing.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:01, archived)

I don't what most of this means, sadly

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:06, archived)

it means he works in Worksop making belts for sharpening razors

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:18, archived)

ah, gotcha

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:30, archived)

That does read like a Two Ronnies script

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:30, archived)

Having a bit of a strop then

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:38, archived)

I have thrown more tantrums than Elton John
During this project.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 11:50, archived)

Hello fellows.
Lol. Beta is blocked on my work WiFi.

How are we all? That pandemic was a bit weird innit?

Are we back to usual activities? Who is still trolling beeter?
(Geordiejay 👀, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:14, archived)

alright jaysumz xx

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:17, archived)

Hi hun xoxo
(Geordiejay 👀, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:18, archived)

u ok lol

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:20, archived)

Canny pet. Can't grumble.
Back to a sense of normality before winter comes and fucks us all.
(Geordiejay 👀, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:30, archived)

ok

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 12:34, archived)

Late morning
Quiet at work today and nice and sunny, might go for a stroll
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:01, archived)

got a signed copy of Bob Mortimer's autobiography arriving today

(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:14, archived)

I'd be keen to know if it's worth reading

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:14, archived)

I shall let you know

(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:15, archived)

ta m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:31, archived)

it's a really good read
I've loved Bob since the first series of big night out so I'm biased, But I think it's actually made me love him more
(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 21:02, archived)

might have to give that a go, cheers

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 Sep 2021, 7:46, archived)

Not really, it just says, “Bob Mortimer”

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 16:19, archived)

lol

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 17:30, archived)

I'm watching the Statham/Jet Li classic 'War'
It's good so far, someone just had a ear chopped off
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:14, archived)

so now we know what it is good for
(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:16, archived)

huh!

(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:16, archived)

Edwin Starr's finest works:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Q_YwqAuhYM
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFredbE3goM
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:48, archived)

the other day I watched 'Possessor' by Brandon 'son of David' Cronenberg
amazing film, clearly not for everyone, but amazing
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:42, archived)

Cronenberg is great eh

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:43, archived)

haha I mean the Canadian director, not the lager!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:44, archived)

both father and son are great
I'm planning on watching Cronenberg Jr.'s first film 'Antiviral' this weekend
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:46, archived)

I remember when he transitioned from body horror to 'mainstream' Hollywood, was it Eastern Promises or A History of Violence that was his first 'non genre' film?
Either way, he proved that he had chops beyond grossout/weird/body horror stuff.

Bit like Peter Jackson in that respect.

#reallyintofilm
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:52, archived)

I never thought about it that way but you're right
I wasn't a big fan of 'A History of Violence', though, I thought he was still deciding how much blood and guts to put in and he went too far and it kind of ruined the end product (for a non-genre film)

#filmchat
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:56, archived)

I reckon Peter Jackson should do a shot-for-shot big budget remake of Bad Taste.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 12:00, archived)

That is one film that almost makes me puke

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 12:13, archived)

I watched it with my brother when we were teens, and he actually did puke.
In fairness, it was a few days after Christmas, he'd stuffed himself at dinner and was still hungover from the night before.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 16 Sep 2021, 13:01, archived)

Where one of them says he got a chunky bit
That bit right there
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 13:16, archived)

chubby chaser, was he?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 13:29, archived)

ps I really must check out Nightbreed.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 12:01, archived)

~~Nightbreed~~ Dignitas
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 13:32, archived)

~~Dignitas~~ Mencap
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 16 Sep 2021, 14:11, archived)

clickin dis

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 14:16, archived)

The other night I watched "2021 War of the Worlds" on SyFy, from those fine people at Asylum Studios.
I don't normally bother with that sort of tripe, but I was right in the mood for it. The most notable thing about it is the fucking state of Tom Sizemore these days. He could clearly barely stand or walk, let alone speak.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 12:08, archived)

does he have 'more size' than he used to oh hahaha

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 12:09, archived)

might get a swastika tattooed on my forehead

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:27, archived)

might shit on a sheep

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:32, archived)

will ewe?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:35, archived)

Alright Charles Mansbum

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 16:21, archived)

Stuck in waiting for a plumber
So I'm watching avengers assemble again
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:35, archived)

what are they assembling this time around?

(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:40, archived)

a Billy bookcase

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:48, archived)

I need another one of those
But I can assemble it myself
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:50, archived)

~~okcase~~ llocks
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 12:00, archived)

beat me to it :'(

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 12:01, archived)

Yeah it's warm out, had to remove my jacket

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 12:30, archived)

alright Phil Collins

(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 12:37, archived)

Have you seen him recently?
He really isn't.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 12:39, archived)

good lol

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 13:12, archived)

Hey, he gave us jam tronik

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 13:16, archived)

I was very disappointed to find out the 'divorced his wife by fax' story isn't actually true

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 14:11, archived)

lol

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 13:17, archived)

this^

(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 13:17, archived)

yeah, saw that short piece on the BBC about the Genesis tour
he is not a well man at all
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 13:28, archived)

He's a cock

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 13:47, archived)

He's talking nonce sense.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 16 Sep 2021, 14:10, archived)

i herd U Liek Bumholez
here are some bumholez
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 16:04, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 7:42, archived)

Good morning Arse.
How are you today?
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 7:55, archived)

yeah ok ta, in office 2day, wfh tomorrow, lovely autumnal morning here lol
u?
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:06, archived)

In bed watching Netflix
'Spoons offered us a good deal so the juicer is a bland shadow of its former self. I am currently at leisure :)
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:11, archived)

another unemployed attention seeker on /chat eh?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:14, archived)

you're not living with your parents though, at least there's that

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:31, archived)

JMG baldmumdolelol

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:07, archived)

morning
salt has not resolved my dishwasher issue - you cunts owe me £1.50
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:05, archived)

I don't, I stayed out of DISHWASHER CHAT

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:06, archived)

I don't suppose dishwashers have made it to the north yet
They're kind of like a washing machine, but for dishes fyi
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:26, archived)

this isn't Tomorrow's World mate.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:30, archived)

yes it is

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:09, archived)

this is one of my all time favourite comedy sketches
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ-fBaqIS7k
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:10, archived)

it's cheaper AND more expensive and you can't park

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:10, archived)

Excellent, I shall await my kickback from Big Salt.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:12, archived)

can't believe I fell for your fake news

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:30, archived)

Marigolds, dishpad and a bottle of Fairy?
Fairylols
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:12, archived)

apparently I should clean the holes in the spray arms with a toothpick
wot a palaver
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:29, archived)

alright Paul Foot

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:31, archived)

The award-winning investigative journalist?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:48, archived)

yes

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 8:51, archived)

You could always pay a 'manual worker' with dungarees and a porn moustache to do it

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:00, archived)

you're thinking of Super Mario mate, you fucking weird cunt

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:04, archived)

they remove with little effort

(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:49, archived)

your pants, you mean

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 10:27, archived)

Morning Thursday shitty bum poo willies

(

broadsword, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:18, archived)

alright broady, two lone swordsmen y/n

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:23, archived)

I used to drink with Keith Tenniswood at the Griffin
He's a nice bloke. 'Funnily' enough he engineered the new album by the chap who made that Sorry Dub record. Small world.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:26, archived)

every time I've seen him live he's been great.
When he played Growl in fabric the bass nearly knocked me off my feet.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:28, archived)

the best thing about Fabric is the floor to ceiling metal bog doors

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:34, archived)

what, not the soundsystem?
I remember going from Room 1 to Room 2 and there only being about a foot or so where you could hear both soundsystems; that was pretty impressive I reckon.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:43, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8311465
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:47, archived)

when they first opened there would be pilled-up birds sitting on the Room 1 dancefloor just for the vibrations from the BodySonic system.
And in an apt bit of synchronicity, Tomorrow's World featured fabric just after they opened.

FACT.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:49, archived)

sorry, I must have nodded off for a minute there - what?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 10:28, archived)

no
I was pretending garold's post was alternative lyrics to Status Quo's "in the army now"
(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:48, archived)

haha, 'teh Quo'!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 9:55, archived)

I clicked it, it were great

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 10:25, archived)

i wondered why the fuck it was on the popular page
🤷‍♂️
(piss and shit, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 11:15, archived)

It's still possible to be morning AND pretending garold's post was alternative lyrics to Status Quo's "in the army now".

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 10:27, archived)

Morning all

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 10:10, archived)

good morning

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 10:11, archived)

RIGHT
Let's try again. How's it going, knobber's? Having a good day/week?

Just nommed some nommy Korean meatballs so my day has marginally improved. Need to try to work out why the dishwasher isn't performing as it should, residue being left on glasses etc. I'm going to run a cycle with white vinegar, and see if the spray arm is clogged. Any of you cunts got any other ideas?

PS this comedy website lark is well lol innit
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 13:44, archived)

It's almost too obvious to be worth mentioning, but I assume you've already CIIJASIIE?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Sep 2021, 13:49, archived)

that was my first port of call, it felt great at the time but hasn't done the job :(

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:01, archived)

I thought maybe some comedy racism would get things going but no, no dice.
brb's fault.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 13:58, archived)

that fucking cunt

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:06, archived)

does it need a top-up with salt?
That won't solve the current problem but should stop it happening again.
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:00, archived)

we buy those all-in-one Finish tabs which they claim means no rinse aid or salt needed

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:02, archived)

those fucking Finland cunts with their substandard domestic cleaning products

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:04, archived)

some of them aren't even that thin, fucking liars - fatland more like

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:14, archived)

once again, Monty Python were dead, dead WRONG

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:20, archived)

haha, it's just a minor wound on my arm! your parrot has died!
those guys were crazy!
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:24, archived)

WE ARE THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY 'NO'!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:37, archived)

I don't know, man....that sounds suspicious to me
I use Finish tabs as well but I still use salt, and have never had any issues
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:05, archived)

neither did we until a couple of weeks ago

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:05, archived)

I'm going salt too.
Don't believe the tablets that say they don't need it, they're all lying to us, wake up sheeple.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:08, archived)

I dunno man, you sound like you're shilling for Big Salt here

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:13, archived)

If I stop now, they'll have my family killed.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:28, archived)

Oh man, I'd hate to have the people I love rinsed.

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:32, archived)

I feel like I'm caught in a trap with these people, it's a never-ending cycle.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:49, archived)

it's left me feeling rather drained

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 15:47, archived)

This week has had its ups and downs
we're into the last stage of the build and we're doing the kitchen fitting ourselves because it's so expensive to get anyone in to do it. I will concede that it's fair enough to charge a couple of grand to do the job but there are so many utterly shit contractors out there we couldn't bear spending thousands and thousands to end up with something no better than we can do ourselves.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:30, archived)

And subjectively speaking it's not looking too bad
some bits have turned out very well. It's the detailing that suffers when you're learning as you go.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:31, archived)

that's the problem with subjectivity mate - it means whatever you want it to mean

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:37, archived)

I meant objectively
fucking 'tard that I am.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:44, archived)

Sigh. Middle class problems!
Have you considered an Afghani housemaid? There must be loads going spare at the moment
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 15:34, archived)

a box of salt is cheaper, let's try that first eh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 16:06, archived)

Try kosher salt
Much better
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 16:14, archived)

I'm the dishwasher in our household
:(
(

theniwokeup has been awake since, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 15:55, archived)

:(

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 16:06, archived)

same.

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 21:32, archived)

*farts out the front*
*leaves*
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 16:13, archived)

alright poo shats

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 16:17, archived)

I'm sat in a uni car park 11 hours a day with no shade giving covid tests to students
It's not great, might go back to being dolescum
(

broadsword, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 16:29, archived)

~~tests~~
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Sep 2021, 20:40, archived)

Don’t waste the vinegar Queef. You should make some pickles in the dishwasher while you’re running it.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 16:48, archived)

great idea m8-o

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 17:18, archived)

well lol
indeed
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 21:30, archived)

I have a rather sore arm
6 hours that tattoo took
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 21:35, archived)

what is the tatoo of?

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 22:01, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8310917
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Sep 2021, 23:16, archived)

The guy
He's the mascot for Disturbed, like Eddie is for Iron Maiden
(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 16 Sep 2021, 10:10, archived)

Hi guy's, Queef is here, how are you?
It is now afternoon, deal with it girlfriend, nuh uh.

This is my new 'sassy black lady' style, what do you think? I'm not convinced
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 12:23, archived)

well, you certainly have the ASS to pass as a foxy negress

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 12:25, archived)

I have to say, my Brazilian butt lift is some of the best money I've ever spent

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 12:28, archived)

truly a sound investment

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 12:33, archived)

Are.... are you doing blackface?
because that's not cool man. I know this is an edgy and irreverent internet forum (noms, hummus, kitteh etc.) but blacking up. That's just beyond the pale.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 12:45, archived)

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 12:52, archived)

well at least I've not forgotten to put my bins out

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 12:58, archived)

Work it, guuurrrrrrrl

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 12:54, archived)

*twerks*

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 12:58, archived)

not much mileage in this shitty thread, soz boarder's

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 13:41, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 7:11, archived)

i've just been given a ticket to see Yard Act.
northerners, so it'll probably be shit
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Sep 2021, 8:15, archived)

there have never been any good bands from Leeds, FACT

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 8:38, archived)

Whitesnake and Chumbawumba?
Edit - and Utah Saints!
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 8:57, archived)

utah saints used to run a decent clubnight in Leeds

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:02, archived)

I like at least two, so there.
Not Whitesnake or Chumbawamba, mind, they're both fucking terrible.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:34, archived)

name and shame mate, name and shame

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:34, archived)

I might get bullied on the internet :(

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:34, archived)

I was just being a knob mate, there are plenty of decent bands from Leeds

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:40, archived)

OK then, I like the Sisters of Mercy and Terrorvision (2nd album, anyway).
Dunno if the latter count as Leeds, but it's close enough.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:48, archived)

Terrorvision were from Bradford.
And were also 'fucking shit'.

As an aside, I once played pool with their singer (he's a friend of a friend) and he is fucking tiny.

Sisters of Mercy were/are great, agreed.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:53, archived)

Terrorvision were the first band I ever saw live, trufax.
Actually that would be their support band, Die Toten Hosen. I don't remember much about them, other than that they were quite German.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:56, archived)

I saw them at Reading 96. No interest in their records then or now, but they were a decent live act.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:59, archived)

hey, I remember Die Toten Hosen

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:14, archived)

the Cult were mine, Hammersmith Odeon 1987

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:42, archived)

lolold

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Sep 2021, 13:49, archived)

I was only 13 :(
my mate's mum drove us there and waited in the car until the end.

Rock, for sure - but also *extremely* roll.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:25, archived)

Ha, Terrorvision were also one of the first bands I ever saw. I was well into them aged ca. 15.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Sep 2021, 13:48, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8311372
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 14:26, archived)

I have a great respect for Gang of Four

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:54, archived)

They can't stand you, soz to be the bearer etc

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:00, archived)

That's why I killed Andy Gill

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:02, archived)

Andy Kill

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:05, archived)

haha, this is a funny and clever joke!

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:42, archived)

thanks mate!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:44, archived)

meh,

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 8:33, archived)

What's your favourite old school break.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Sep 2021, 8:39, archived)

lunchtime oh hahaha

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 8:44, archived)

very hard to call
might be Wilson Pickett's Get Me Back on Time
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXXxQntt9MU

in terms of importance it has to be Apache followed by Funky Drummer though I suppose
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 8:44, archived)

you know what I can't possibly call it
could be The Champ by The Mohawks, could be any number of them

man I love old skool breaks
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 8:45, archived)

Holy Thursday by David Axelrod
The Wrecking Crew at their best.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 8:58, archived)

love that record

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:03, archived)

great though it is, it wouldn't make my top ten

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:17, archived)

alright emvee

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:35, archived)

me too, i wish i had more

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:03, archived)

that's all I've been buying for years now - original breaks on 7"
gotta catch 'em all
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:39, archived)

can you recommend a YouTube or Spotify playlist of these?
they're hitting the spot just right this morning
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:46, archived)

sorry m8, I just play the records if I want to listen to them
I'll have a look around and see for you though
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:56, archived)

this looks decent
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI9S1O6GNlo

EDIT it's actually great, some rare records here
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:58, archived)

awesome, thanks m8

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:09, archived)

these kids with their spotifys

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:03, archived)

and their 'tick tocks' and what have you
disgraceful
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:05, archived)

it is embarrassing if nothing else

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:09, archived)

you've seen them, behind the corn exchange

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:06, archived)

Old skool
youtu.be/ub82Xb1C8os
(

mongychops, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:58, archived)

ruined forever thanks to ads

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:30, archived)

+i

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Sep 2021, 13:50, archived)

I'm in the office today

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:02, archived)

woa oh oh
I'm in the office

today
(piss and shit, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:20, archived)

alright sticko, are you back in employment yet?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 9:28, archived)

lol blanked

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 12:24, archived)

lol

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 13:27, archived)

Morning

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 10:38, archived)

'lo

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 Sep 2021, 11:02, archived)

SWOLLEN BOLLOCKS

(sticklebricks, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 17:51, archived)

Try dipping them in yoghurt

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 18:05, archived)

Cheers

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 18:27, archived)

makes me feel fine
flowing like the jasmine in my mi-hee-hind
(piss and shit, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 18:49, archived)

YOU TORE YOUR DRESS, BETTY SWALLOCKS, YOUR FACE IS A MESS

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 18:58, archived)

WALKING DOWN THE STREET
SWOLLEN BOLLOCKS THE KIND I'D LIKE TO MEET
(

broadsword, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 19:07, archived)

KEEP THEM BOLLOCKS SWOLLEN, RAWHIDE

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 19:29, archived)

My cousins friend had that

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 19:33, archived)

Shouldn’t you be at the beach?

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 20:41, archived)

my anaconda is coeliac

(piss and shit, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 21:44, archived)

Thank god you did your own research into it.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 22:22, archived)

'noon

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 12:41, archived)

haha, teh noongles!
Just got drenched by a lorry whilst waiting to cross the road on my way back from the post office, where I was collecting a copy of Vernon Burch's Get Up which keen-eyed boarder's will recognise as the swannee whistle bit in Groove is in the Heart by Dee-Lite.

true story, I swear down
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 12:56, archived)

Groove is in the Heart is a classic, I swear down

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 12:57, archived)

I used to cut that up with the farms groovy train , if you can imagine

(

mongychops, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:04, archived)

what a world

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:13, archived)

Anything went in 1990,

(

mongychops, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:26, archived)

If it was magenta and had 3 pubes per ball I'd have bid
www.phillips.com/detail/andy-warhol/EX090120/1076?
(

mongychops, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:31, archived)

heh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:33, archived)

what year was that awful 'Sesame's Treet' record?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:32, archived)

'92
the death knell of rave had already sounded by the end of that year
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:34, archived)

Lol

(

mongychops, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:35, archived)

two signs that a dance scene is in trouble:
1 - novelty records being produced ;
2 - metal bands thinking it's a great idea to get involved with that sound.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:42, archived)

3 - Dozer gets into it

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:52, archived)

Hi, have I told you about this new sound called 'dubstep'?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:55, archived)

dubstep is for pussies

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 14:07, archived)

thanks for your input.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 14:14, archived)

alright 'Number 5'

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 14:52, archived)

number 2, more like

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 15:12, archived)

92, it was dead then , the scene had changed

(

mongychops, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:34, archived)

ha

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:42, archived)

sup
waiting for my b&q delivery
(piss and shit, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 12:59, archived)

bums & queers lol

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:02, archived)

if only

(piss and shit, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:13, archived)

you have to know the secret sign m8
if you do, the staff take you through a side door into where the REAL B-ing and Q-ing goes on. it's quite the eye*-opener, I can tell you.

*japs lol
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 13:19, archived)

*BRB KLAXON*

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 14:23, archived)

noon indeed
just ran into an old drinking pal of mine who i haven't seen for nearly 20 years. she looks about 90. fuck knows what happened to her, but she said she's been very ill. that's an understatement, she looks about as ill as you can get whilst still breathing.
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 14:07, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8311261
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 15:18, archived)

very much doubt it
she's been in and out of hospital for the last 18 months and looks like she's had a stroke. she can't remember large chunks of her life, either, which seems to support the stroke theory
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 15:36, archived)

shit, that's fucking harsh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 15:47, archived)

it really is
she's always been big angie, but i gave her a hug before and she felt like she was going to either snap or disintegrate completely. she said she recognized me because apparently, i haven't aged a day.
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 15:56, archived)

Tuesday rainy Tuesday wet, wet, wet

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 7:40, archived)

not in THE NORTH it's not, typical woke Southern bias

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 7:42, archived)

You've been desensitised to rain
a mild drizzle and your senses tell you its time for a bbq
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 7:48, archived)

yes mate, because Wales is an arid dustbowl, setting you up perfectly for a lifetime of rain reviews

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 7:55, archived)

I've become a rain softie now

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 7:57, archived)

Bark Psychosis on the headphones here

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:07, archived)

unlucky
I ordered this yesterday, fucking love it

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeeOPR8bxac
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:15, archived)

Bark Psychosis were great
the frontman went off and did nice drum & bass as Boymerang.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:27, archived)

Grooving to this right now
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFfSF1XtEaM

Can't believe I've not heard it before today... It's bang up my street!
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:27, archived)

how can you not have heard that?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:28, archived)

Too busy listening to Wet, Wet, Wet

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:30, archived)

I'm waiting for this one to arrive, you'll probably like it too
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ1RjluJHKg
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:38, archived)

Yeah, I know that one
and yes, I do like it. I'm rather partial to a well-fingered organ.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:39, archived)

How about this one?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnWfGl6p16o

Famously sampled by the Beatnuts
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:46, archived)

I may have a play along with that later, good workout bassline
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:50, archived)

Is that one of their lesser known tracks?

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 7:47, archived)

They were a shit band

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 7:49, archived)

In fact, listening to Sweet Little Mystery right now
fucking hell, it's insipid. Makes Simply Red sound like raw Chicago Blues.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 7:50, archived)

purveyors of cheery pop-soul, fronted by a grinning heroin addict!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 7:56, archived)

You're making it sound more interesting than it is.

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:00, archived)

thanks mate

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:04, archived)

Hi popular poster D*x*r!!!! How r u m8?!!! I am gr8 :)))))

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:09, archived)

you are fucking weird and heading for 2.0

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:27, archived)

They are no Westlife that is for sure

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:02, archived)

But then, who is?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:32, archived)

Boyzone

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:40, archived)

Quite the expert aren't you?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:43, archived)

yes
Halfwitted bog-trotter boy bands are very much 'my shit'
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:49, archived)

You are Louis Walsh AICMFP

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:50, archived)

I told you that in confidence m8
/ac
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:52, archived)

What, written in tiny writing on your paenus in that unsolicited dickpic?
not really much confidence involved
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:09, archived)

we both know it was very much solicited m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:14, archived)

Not from YOU.

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:15, archived)

oh.

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:20, archived)

morning m8-o

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:13, archived)

Tuesday is a high productivity day

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:28, archived)

Mondays are always the busiest for me
Yesterday was no exception, hoping to take things a little easier today
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:42, archived)

It is quite the wet old day here too it seems.
Might just slack off work and play with my willy
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:14, archived)

...again

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:27, archived)

Hang on
don't you have an apprentice to help with that kind of thing?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:28, archived)

He's grubby. I dont want him touching my hoohaa

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:11, archived)

yo

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:48, archived)

What is up my home boy.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:11, archived)

another day, another 75 cents
you know the score
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:14, archived)

Yeah, im lacking any motivation at all in this rain.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:20, archived)

morning tuesday might have a poo

(

broadsword, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:40, archived)

The suspense is killing us

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:09, archived)

you're not wrong
suggestions for livening up the day are welcome
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 8:59, archived)

cocaine?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:09, archived)

bit expensive

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:50, archived)

Wank on its tits

(

broadsword, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:10, archived)

always brightens up a party

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:51, archived)

A nice sit down and a glass of wine.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:20, archived)

that'll go nicely with my knitting

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:51, archived)

bomb some whizz, go down the fair and get on the waltzers

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:21, archived)

sounds like a recipe for the whitey of your life

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:52, archived)

brb etc

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 10:17, archived)

Anal

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:46, archived)

while wanking on its tits, or afterwards?

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:52, archived)

The choice is yours

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:54, archived)

alright 'Black Sheep'
www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9F5xcpjDMU
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 10:26, archived)

hell yeah

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 10:38, archived)

I like this

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 10:58, archived)

I saw De La Soul do that track with Dres a few years ago.
It were reet good like.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 11:45, archived)

haha we have a right laugh here don't we

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:48, archived)

b3ta.com/search/talk?q=No&p=50
(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:51, archived)

haha we sure do

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:53, archived)

gninrom

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:49, archived)

miryug

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 11:45, archived)

Dry as a bone here

(

Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 9:54, archived)

lol bone

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 10:17, archived)

except yr bones are wet DUH

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 14 Sep 2021, 12:04, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »