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It is now officially no longer morning here in GMT land
As such the previous thread is redundant and under union rules we have to move into this one.
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:00, archived)
I heard you love a bit of finnochio

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:02, archived)
shark puppet?

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:02, archived)
I read this as shark pepper, now I want shark pepper

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 13:36, archived)
can confirm

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:03, archived)
alright

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:02, archived)
not too bad ta
u
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:03, archived)
aye alright
working till 3 though
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:13, archived)
I'm either working or 'on call' managing dickheads remotely pretty much 7 days a week these days
I don't really mind tbh
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:18, archived)
-n +ss -head

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:22, archived)
just realised I'm at AC/DC next Sunday
get in
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:14, archived)
Lucky fucker

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:15, archived)
I saw them at Wembley on the Ballbreaker tour
I am partially deaf in one ear because of it #NoRegerts
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:22, archived)
I've seen them once before also at Wembley, cracking show

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:29, archived)
i don't think i saw them at Wembley arena

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 13:13, archived)
in honour of pride month i am now one of these gays we've all been hearing about
As a gay i will now secretly hate all gays as i am uncomfortable with my sexuality
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 13:12, archived)
sounds about right

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 13:15, archived)
i knew a(nother) gay once, he was funny
He called women's naughty bits 'ladygardens'
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 13:42, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Garden,_Baroness_Garden_of_Frognal
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 14:04, archived)
Lady Garden married in 1965 Timothy Garden.

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 15:17, archived)
I've just realized it must have been pre-syntax

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 19:45, archived)
Congratulations on being one of our top readers globally – you've read 491 articles in the last year

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 13:34, archived)
more than one a day

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 13:42, archived)
I made The Guardian my home page at one point just to get my numbers up, at one stage they were claiming I'd read over 5000 articles, still no prize :(

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 15:08, archived)
the prize is knowledge

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 16:49, archived)
I did not receive it :(

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 19:42, archived)
Shark pepper ok

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 16:49, archived)
guppy salt

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 16:52, archived)
I thought I made myself clear, this is completely unacceptable

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 19:42, archived)
Morning troops
Off allotmenting today, want any veg?
Lol, vag
Then a few beers and home for early dinner watching England getting chucked from the contest
You?
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 8:03, archived)
might toe rape a terrapin

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 8:08, archived)
I have seen a documentary on that

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 9:18, archived)
never heard it called that before

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 9:19, archived)
No.

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 8:30, archived)
oh go on

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 9:15, archived)
Have a swede xxxx

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 9:20, archived)
You ARE a veg

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 9:19, archived)
Spring onions
And maybe a savoy cabbage
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 10:02, archived)
yes please, got any fennel? I want to make a fennel slaw to accompany my bbq chicken

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 10:15, archived)

I want to make a fennel slaw to accompany my bbq chicken sorted
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 10:34, archived)
naughty naughty very naughty

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 10:36, archived)
We've got 2 brick wall "gardens" at either side of the car park
A couple who live in the first house on the street has been looking after one of them for years. They're about 3 feet high, which is good because no kneeling. The couple have grown herbs and small veg there the last few years. This year, they've grown fennel, chives, wild garlic and mint. Anyone is free to take some, but hardly anyone does
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 11:14, archived)
I've only ever had wild garlic in restaurants, I'd love to be able to get hold of it in season

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 11:48, archived)
I often take some chives
And chive flowers look lovely in a salad. They've only got about 4 fennel plants, as the gardens are like round turrets and only about 6 feet in diameter, so I'm hesitant to take one until I see one of the neighbours and ask if it's OK
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 11:52, archived)
In Italian, their word for fennell is also a pejorative term for effeminate gay men

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 11:36, archived)
Finnochio

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 11:37, archived)
when they tell a lie, their knobs grow

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 11:49, archived)
oooh boys cheeky beers
touch my tum,such is life
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 10:43, archived)
Wearing a pride high vis at the factory?
Brilliant, the people who were homophobic in the meeting shut up. Not a comment said to me.
You know what poofs I felt a slight bit of the persecution you all feel.
One fella said , what lose a bet? Another wouldn't say hello even .
Wearing it I felt slightly uneasy as a straight white male. Apprehensive of persecution.
When's black pride? I'll al Johnson up
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 18:36, archived)
BIT GAY M8

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 18:51, archived)
^

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 18:54, archived)
They were actually disgusted at Mongy's cultural appropriation.
What a bigot. Bit like those celebs that visit a poor place for a photo op, and act like they "helped". Disgraceful.
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 11:37, archived)
thank you for your allyship

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 19:15, archived)
Hiyaaaaaahhhhh(viz)

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 20:10, archived)

Vg.
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 23:00, archived)
Ooh, suits you sir!

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 20:12, archived)
Lo-viz

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 20:55, archived)
guy jizz

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 21:40, archived)
Camp jizzmundo?

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 21:43, archived)
Count Jizzmark

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 21:54, archived)
Just seen that video of the police chasing a dog around trying to shoot it.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ced3wjvzx2lo

I thoroughly approve
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 22:06, archived)
they looked extremely competent

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 12:01, archived)
It's festive and colourful
If anyone has a problem with it, tell them they're projecting and ask if they're ok
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 22:22, archived)

Guyrim.
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 23:01, archived)
Guyrim

(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 8:30, archived)
Yeah, I wore a pride lanyard all month
Just getting that undercurrent of double-takes and a few concealed sneers - it was a bit disturbing. Rest of the year, I can put it away, and fit in.
(, Sun 30 Jun 2024, 9:21, archived)
hi wankstain's, Gareth 'Gaz Top' Jones here with a cool Saturday afternoon thread fo' yo' a$$e$
haha, not really, it's actually me (Queef Richard's)!

made you look, made you stare, made you lose your underwear
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:40, archived)

hey! where has my underwear gone?
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:43, archived)
it's lost m8, nothing I can do about it soz

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:49, archived)
Invisible under several years worth of dried, hardened, encrusted poo.

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 20:27, archived)
-poo
+jizz
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 22:25, archived)
This is unfortunate, I'm sat outside a pub and my pants have disappeared
Not sure what to do now. Might have another pint and think about it
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:47, archived)
as long as you were wearing something over your pants you should be ok
if you were down the pub in just your pants you already have bigger problems, old boy
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:51, archived)
are you kink shaming?

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:53, archived)
no m8, I'm Gareth 'Gaz Top' Jones

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 16:51, archived)
True but they weren't just any pants, they were new m&S pants, wanted to show them off

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:53, archived)
-sh +bl

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:54, archived)
i'll have a look for them
any distinguishing marks?
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:52, archived)
Yeah probably

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:54, archived)
dirty boy

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:55, archived)

+gus
guishing
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 21:29, archived)
idgi look are you queef or not just be honest ok

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:48, archived)
I'm Gareth 'Gaz Top' Jones m8

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:52, archived)
OR AM I

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:53, archived)
You chameleonic rascal

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 16:31, archived)
are you saying you are... GG Top?

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:54, archived)
I've got legs, right to my faaanny

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 16:50, archived)

Top + Allin
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 18:06, archived)
great
I fucking knew I shouldn't have worn a crop top today, now my tits are everywhere
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 16:03, archived)
samesies

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 16:49, archived)
*looks*
*loses*
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 17:13, archived)
*stares*

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 17:16, archived)
tap tap tap

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 17:22, archived)
Hi Gaz is it true you named your kids Tycho and Indi?

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 17:18, archived)
hi $$, Gaz here
yes m8, I totes fucking did. And you know what? I'd do it again in a heartbeat
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 17:24, archived)
LCD were great at Glastonbury

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 18:05, archived)
yeah those screens are massive now

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 18:16, archived)
Losing My Edge BANGED HARD

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 18:17, archived)
Morning
Bollocks or bollocks?
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:08, archived)
helmit

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:22, archived)
bollocks

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:24, archived)
cloaca

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:43, archived)
i never even met her

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:43, archived)
hard to decide

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:22, archived)
phone says Bollocks
pc says bollocks
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:23, archived)
so it's chosen for me i spose

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:24, archived)
I would have to say morning, sorry I mean bollocks

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:35, archived)
Bollocks

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:44, archived)
Morning Mr H
I am free till Tuesday morning
Any suggestions as to what wacky shenanigans I can indulge in?
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 12:18, archived)
Take a shitload of mushrooms and start a cult

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 12:20, archived)
+e

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 12:24, archived)
I don't go near that stuff now I did way too many when younger
I got some a few years back and introduced Mrs President to them she turned a bit bonkers for trips
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 12:49, archived)
But did she start a cult?

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 13:32, archived)
Not that I am aware of
Never can tell eh?
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 13:41, archived)
well
if you find a load of dead people on your lawn with plastic cups scattered everywhere, I think it's safe to say that there was a cult
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:34, archived)

might have just been using cult brand lawn fertiliser
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:46, archived)
bOLLOCKS

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 12:58, archived)
Bollocs

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 13:44, archived)
Morning
Tiswas or Swapshop?
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 8:28, archived)
never got tiswas on htv
so it had to be edmonds and cheggars
did get to see matt bianco get called wankers though, so swings and roundabouts
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 8:42, archived)
just playing chronomovie from the newsletter and confused about the scoring
I got 1000 points for a correct answer and 1960 points for being 3 years out on another
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 10:34, archived)
Number 73

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 8:43, archived)
fucking hated that
toksvig was creepily enthusiastic and buchanon is a wanker
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 8:45, archived)
My brother liked it
And as he is a psycho and my parents wanted a quiet life, that's what we watched.
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 8:57, archived)
toksvig is creepy
also, toksvig, it's a creepy name, every year on Toksvig Eve we flay a maiden alive and fuck her quivering bones, that sort of thing
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 14:53, archived)
I appeared on its follow up The Ghost Train with Sandi Togsvig
I'm not very tall, but she was tiny. Even 14 year old me towered over her. They had to build a specially raised walkway at the back of the set for herisappear below the height so she didn't d of us kids.
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:24, archived)
"she didn't d of us kids" omg garold you poor soul what did the Togsvig do to you :(

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:44, archived)
Swapshop, too posh to itv

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 8:52, archived)
I think we can trace all your issues back to this

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:24, archived)
Live & Kicking

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 9:28, archived)
the banana bunch

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:25, archived)
you mean the banana splits right?
YFSFC
(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:41, archived)
I loved Tiswas

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 11:34, archived)
I seem to remember watching both at times

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:25, archived)
Even then Noel gave me the heebie jeebies

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 15:46, archived)
Neither.

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 12:00, archived)
You think it makes you special but it's WEIRD and SHAMEFUL

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 16:34, archived)
anus, anus, anus, anus, bum, ba-bum, bum, ba-bum

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 14:59, archived)
Stop
Push it
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 15:00, archived)
Turtle Power?

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 15:00, archived)
Salt-N-Tidyup

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 15:13, archived)
Creepy fuckers

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 15:25, archived)
Racist

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 16:39, archived)
You've got a hit on your hands

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 15:12, archived)
- a
+ some s
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 15:32, archived)
salt n plopper

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 16:22, archived)
Those are crap lyrics
that are the product of a lonely paranoid delusional drug addled mind.
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 15:16, archived)
heyyyy CLOACA
alright
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 15:25, archived)
can I use this in the song, I really like it

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 18:51, archived)
heyyyy CLOACA! neuroSPICY!
couldn't wait soz
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 18:52, archived)
HEYYYY CLOACA SHITPIPE ACTION!

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 19:11, archived)
Do you suppose anyone's ever made a porn film called 'Smack 'er in the cloaca'?
I mean it's just one of those things that suggests itself really isn't it.
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 19:53, archived)
Coldplay encore @ middle class middle age coffee table Socialist festival this weekend
@ mine all welcome
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 16:12, archived)
I think I still have that é~C.óLí shit.

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 17:35, archived)
neuroSPICY! neuroSPICY! heyyyy CLOACA! neuroSPICY!

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 18:50, archived)
Fuck off weebl

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 19:03, archived)
morning

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 6:36, archived)
more ning!

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 6:56, archived)
down with that sort of thing

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:01, archived)
-th +n

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:15, archived)
for the win?

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:16, archived)
down with network address translation

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:18, archived)
as one does

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:23, archived)
anyway. what's happening in stickle land?

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:25, archived)
fuck of then

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:35, archived)
bit harsh

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:56, archived)
Not nearly harsh enough

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 8:23, archived)
you would say that

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 8:25, archived)
Disturbed's less famous follow-up song

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 9:01, archived)
morning
it's been a long week

/vagueb3taing, "U OK huns" gratefully received
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:47, archived)
my week started on wednesday
but it's going to last until tuesday :(
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:57, archived)
Morning

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:59, archived)
Urgh

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 8:03, archived)
How is the Covid going?

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 8:06, archived)
The covid is having a great time
I'm not
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 10:58, archived)
We'll have to start clapping for the NHS again
I'm not having another vaccine they are pretty harmful and ineffective
I wear a mask at work that's it
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 11:05, archived)
Adding anti Vax to the list

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 11:51, archived)
What list is that then?

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 12:12, archived)
Santa’s naught/nice one

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 12:24, archived)
Let's face it, it's not exactly a shock revelation

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 12:17, archived)
Not at all
Merely that people who have had every vax going are still succumbing
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 12:48, archived)
You are aware that this happens with all vaccines, right?
It doesn't follow that they're ineffective. If they reduce severity of disease and transmission, fewer people will get ill and die, even if "people who have had every vax going are still succumbing". Not least because by how they're prioritised, the people who've had all the [Covid] vaccines are at the highest risk; and many of them are immunocompromised, which reduces the efficacy of vaccines anyway.

As for "pretty harmful", what's your source for this assertion? You are an actual real doctor, of course, so I'm sure it's not a YouTube video.
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 12:56, archived)
remember that guy who used to post on here?
who was convicted of pretending to be a doctor and fucking up aome guys hand

he used to gaz lady boarders to try and coerce them into stuff

'ex special forces 'mentalist

apropos of nothing, just came to mind
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 14:07, archived)
What this actually happened, what was their username?

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 14:43, archived)
sticklebricks

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 15:14, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8416915
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 16:38, archived)
Edmeds
Craig Colclough
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/6304990/Serial-fantasist-army-doctor-jailed.html
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 17:30, archived)
Woo yeah paywall!

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 22:23, archived)
figured you'd be a torygraph subscriber

(, Sat 29 Jun 2024, 8:48, archived)
yeah

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 8:25, archived)
Morning
Rather cold and windy here this morning
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 8:22, archived)
glorious here
sorry to gloat
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 8:26, archived)
I'm sewing a piece onto my latest blanket in about 5 minutes
So that will warm me up nicely
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 9:03, archived)
ace

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 9:11, archived)
What is that a euphemism for?

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 9:15, archived)
It isn't
I make blankets.
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 9:27, archived)
I no

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 9:58, archived)
morning fuck yeah friday

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 8:40, archived)
poets day

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 9:12, archived)
morning

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 10:31, archived)
wevs

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 10:40, archived)
Willy wevs

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 11:06, archived)
12/15
can you tell the election from the thick of it
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 11:06, archived)
13/15

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 11:09, archived)
14/15

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 14:29, archived)
Same as Dozer
Ewwwwww I feel dirty
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 11:33, archived)

youtu.be/v9Px8z-GbsQ?si=3KrHTUj1Khfyx0Yd
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 12:13, archived)
I've made up a new song, the words are "anus, anus, anus, anus, bum, ba-bum, bum, ba-bum"
Word of the day: neurospicy
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 14:36, archived)
Do we still say 'ning?

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 1:16, archived)
not really m8
it's more 'bollocks' these days
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 6:35, archived)
oh
1am, you aren't going to even read this
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 6:36, archived)
who do we think it is, folks?

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:16, archived)
somebody who broke into someone's house and shat in their sink
ie, a cunt
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:17, archived)
well don't look at me
i'm toilet trained
(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 7:23, archived)
is that a sex thing?

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 8:33, archived)
Fuck me it's good to be back
Finally remembered me cunting password
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 18:16, archived)
oh good.

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 18:21, archived)
Cue everyone telling you on cue to go fuck cuerself

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 18:53, archived)
i'm forming a cue rite now

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 18:58, archived)
Cue do you think cue are?

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 19:00, archived)
Cue would say that

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 19:01, archived)
some cuent i expect

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 19:06, archived)
Cue'd be right

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 19:09, archived)
i'm not cueing this anymore

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 19:12, archived)
cue sara sara

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 19:12, archived)
cuepe diem

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 19:17, archived)
Cue what mate?

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 19:29, archived)
Cue fucking stupid fucking cuent

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 20:00, archived)
watch it u cuents

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 1:15, archived)
fuck off brBou

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 20:04, archived)
I was chatting and snotters said shall I put a limit on brute forcing passwords. I foolishly said nah, think that's over. We await new old accounts with baited breath

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 20:54, archived)
Why is it good to be back?
1000 word limit, you can use bullet points and flow charts.
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 20:38, archived)
I guess never posting again would be within the 1000 word limit,
and we all know that's what's going to happen. Congratulations, you got 100%.
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 20:46, archived)
cos I spent too much time on reddit, I missed this wonderful place

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 1:15, archived)
*fucks you*

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 1:05, archived)
*fucks us*

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 1:15, archived)
Tfil
Thank fuck it's lunch this morning has been a drag
Think I'll treat myself to a KFC
What you having?
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 12:38, archived)
๐ŸŽต Listen to this, it's too good to miss, da da da-da da da ๐ŸŽต
*farts*
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 12:40, archived)
Thank you for your useful comment
And for dropping an eggy one off
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 13:06, archived)
plezh

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 13:17, archived)
I'll name that tune in one!

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 13:42, archived)
Go on then

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 13:54, archived)
You know, if Isla St Clair married Barry White
She'd probably keep her name as it is, as many professional women forego changing their names when they marry, so they can continue using the name with which they've spent years building a reputation
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 13:58, archived)
Also, Barry White has been dead for years
So for them to marry would be considered strange by most measurements
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 13:59, archived)
What are you blithering on about?

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 14:08, archived)
Excuse me sir
I do not blither. I may ramble. I may even prattle. But I NEVER blither.
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 17:19, archived)
Some woman got wed to the Berlin Wall
Maybe the church should look into this marrying dead people idea. A funeredding
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 14:51, archived)
Mortrimony

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 17:20, archived)
If Bea Arthur out of The Golden Girls married Jim Kerr out of Simple Minds
she'd post here
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 14:20, archived)
oh dear

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 15:06, archived)
See also:
Beyonce Knowles marrying Roy Castle
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 14:25, archived)
your accent is fucking weird
are you lloyd grossman?
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 14:32, archived)
Yes.

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 14:35, archived)
Or Jack Black marrying Jeremy Hunt

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 17:32, archived)
Treat?

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 13:27, archived)
Crunch, grease and salt
3 of your 5 a day
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 13:53, archived)
Cottage pie

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 13:31, archived)
Can't beat the traditional ones

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 13:55, archived)
I had it because there's no cheese in it
A lot of the food I have right now has cheese in it, which is fucking stupid, as I'm lactose intolerant. Problem is, I love cheese.I am trying to limit how much I eat and, since I failed spectacularly yesterday(every meal contained cheese), I'm keen to avoid it today.
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 14:05, archived)
Cheese is very addictive
www.smithersofstamford.com/gifts/have-you-tried-cheese-tea-towel.html
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 14:52, archived)
If you love cheese, then you're going to LOVE cheese tea!

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 15:05, archived)
lactase
it sometimes helps
looks like Boots sells caps, this is not in reference to footwear or headwear ok
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 15:00, archived)
I'll definitely have to look into that

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 15:28, archived)
it's just Scottish lactose

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 15:58, archived)
There's an easy solution to this, you can buy plant based 'cheese' called 'sheese'.
It's so horrible it puts you off wanting to eat cheese.
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 17:37, archived)
Curlywurly and a bag of scampi fries (reduced for quick sale)

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 14:53, archived)
Dammit
Now I want a curly wurly
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 15:28, archived)
Get us a Snickers when you're there?
Ta
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 15:51, archived)
They didn't have any

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 16:52, archived)
bollocks

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 17:12, archived)
Alright, I didn't go
I remembered that I had chocolate in my snack cupboard
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 18:33, archived)
Snack cupboard !? Living the dream!

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 18:58, archived)
snack cueboard

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 19:08, archived)
I often have a snack rather than a meal
Beef jerky, peanuts, haribo, frazzles, popcorn, chocolate, lollipops, crisps and bombay mix are all in the snack cupboard
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 21:02, archived)
frazzles!

(, Fri 28 Jun 2024, 1:09, archived)
It large.

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 15:16, archived)
big fat cock

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 16:26, archived)
+s

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 17:16, archived)
DEEZ NUTS

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 16:55, archived)
Morning
Iโ€™m off to the hospital to see how mended I am. X-ray time!!
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 7:24, archived)
Bum fractures take ages to heal hth

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 7:50, archived)
LOL bum

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 10:12, archived)
Ah. Maybe not
Just tested positive for the rona
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 7:59, archived)
bit passé mate
'rona is so over
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 8:18, archived)
I’m surfing the new wave of illness

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 9:08, archived)
radical

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 11:32, archived)
strikey willies

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 19:24, archived)
Strikey-G bended

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 8:42, archived)
Standard

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 9:08, archived)

x-r g
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 12:00, archived)
Morning

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 8:48, archived)
Hiyaaa

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 9:07, archived)
Got my pride high vis on. The ladies seem to love it, lads very quiet

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 10:00, archived)
They're probably scared you might suddenly bum them.

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 10:42, archived)

scared secretly hoping
(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 10:43, archived)
Try singing "Car Wash"

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 11:10, archived)
I'm sure you look fabulous

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 11:51, archived)
If it's still broken just ask them to turn the x-ray radiation up a bit to weld the broken ends back together.

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 11:57, archived)
Sweet dreams, everyone.
www.bbc.com/news/articles/cedd3208veyo
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 20:14, archived)
Shit that is creepy
The scientists will prob be on beeta
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 20:55, archived)
Pls call me moggy

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 21:16, archived)
The prototype may appear more Haribo than human-like
is a phrase I can't get enough of.
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 21:03, archived)
I don't know why the second picture is a close-up of Mark Zuckerberg's face

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 21:19, archived)
Venue?

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 0:17, archived)
whose skin is it, it might make all the difference

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 0:36, archived)
Cool, would be great if they could get the self-healing robot skin ready in time for the AI singularity / Skynet

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 11:59, archived)
WANKERS

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 18:39, archived)
movie wankers?

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 19:04, archived)
The best sort

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 19:50, archived)
piss of

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 20:07, archived)
the d'urbervilles. Tricky sequel.

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 20:14, archived)
He should have quit after Maxinquaye, was never going to better it

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 22:03, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8416790
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 20:13, archived)
piss off

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 18:34, archived)
haha like in that movie

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 18:38, archived)
do they say it in a movie?

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 19:04, archived)
Yeah that one with nic cage & john travolta where they swap winkies

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 19:25, archived)
oh yeah i liked that one

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 19:30, archived)
nic cage: I'd like to take your face off. john travolta: you mean my winky?

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 23:10, archived)
What, again?
If you insist
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 19:52, archived)
Alright

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 20:14, archived)
Bark Psychosis on the speakers here

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 20:14, archived)
you can get tablets for it these days

(, Thu 27 Jun 2024, 7:10, archived)
On reflection
putting my office in a sun room was a fucking stupid idea.
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 18:03, archived)

putting my office in a sun room was a fucking stupid idea. .aedi diputs gnikcuf a saw moor nus a ni eciffo ym gnittup
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 18:31, archived)
afternoon

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 13:46, archived)
yup

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 14:36, archived)
Fuck you, beepeedee. Fuck you.

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 15:02, archived)
Well said

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 15:32, archived)
ChatGPT just gets better and better! There's a new memory setting which means I don't have to remind it to call me Johnny Nomates every time, it just remembers!

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 16:54, archived)
no it's just fluke you got the same lad from sierra leone doing the inputs

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 18:22, archived)
I KNEW IT
Johnny Nomates is getting upset :(
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 18:37, archived)
SPANG!!!

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 18:34, archived)
If president pretend-doctor had any wit,
he'd call himself /ChatGP. Or not, I don't actually care.
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 18:41, archived)
Morning comrades
Assange eh? The little scamp
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 7:07, archived)
He's a little tinker and no mistake

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 7:52, archived)
He has a sideline in tarmacing and repairing pots and pans

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 8:13, archived)
i am a heron

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 11:38, archived)
What are you typing with?

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 12:31, archived)
His beak silly

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 13:00, archived)
Keyboard

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 15:57, archived)
look never mind that i will fly into your kitchen tonight ok

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 15:57, archived)
for the county
and I walk the main her
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 12:31, archived)
You're a loony
@montypython
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 13:00, archived)
Meaty oligarch frenzy at Heathrow Arrivals

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 13:43, archived)
I saw Meaty Oligarch at the Dublin Castle
they were shite
(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 14:37, archived)
so jealous right now

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 17:21, archived)
morning

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 7:58, archived)
Alright bpd

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 8:13, archived)
Never heard of her.

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 8:14, archived)
Fuck you

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 13:43, archived)
Is England going to win then?
Who's having a bet, eh? eh?
(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 19:59, archived)
Is this about the election date betting?

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 20:03, archived)
They better
I've got a lot riding on this
(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 20:26, archived)
hahaha! HONK HONK

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 21:04, archived)
Soz.

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 22:11, archived)
I already won £1m on it being a June Euros

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 20:31, archived)
Good call!

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 20:52, archived)
the Sarpong Childs wedding?

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 21:29, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8416525
(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 22:01, archived)
+ I understand this reference

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 22:02, archived)
They've had better possession
But it's only 22 men at the end of the night
(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 20:51, archived)
I fucking doubt it

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 20:57, archived)
No I don't think so

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 21:57, archived)
Yeah they won their group

(, Wed 26 Jun 2024, 3:21, archived)
alright
back to work tomorrow after a 5 day weekend
(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 17:35, archived)
Bollocks

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 17:37, archived)
you would say that

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 17:51, archived)
-k

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:00, archived)
restraining order?

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 17:46, archived)
no thanks
I already got one
(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 17:51, archived)
I have several
You lightweight
(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 17:59, archived)
I wouldn't be surprised
you creepy fucker
(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:07, archived)
:((

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:38, archived)
Look out!

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 17:53, archived)
*moonwalks*

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:42, archived)
Restraining ordure?

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 17:52, archived)
Anal Retentive Calliope Music

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:14, archived)
alright

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 17:53, archived)
cheers

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:41, archived)
wanky wanky wanky, winky wanky woo, stick a fucking pickle, right up where you poo

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:11, archived)
you might say that
I couldn't pissibly comment

yes, pissibly
(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:42, archived)
your poor coworkers

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:19, archived)
don't have any m8

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:42, archived)
in b4 +s

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:42, archived)
hairy people are happy people

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 18:57, archived)
hairy happy people holding glans

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 19:37, archived)
I started going bald in my 20s and am quite happy tham you very much

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 19:52, archived)
your entire online existence suggests the contrary

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 23:19, archived)
the happy bit, I believe the bald bit

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 23:21, archived)
Shifty Shellshockhimagain

(, Tue 25 Jun 2024, 19:55, archived)

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