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Afternoon thread
How's your day going?
Absolute bugger all day today just snoozing and Netflix
Oh and looking at recipes
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 13:31, archived)
Just got back from a spoons lunch
Courtesy of my parents. I will now watch Indiana Jones, drink my Dr. Pepper and knit.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 13:44, archived)
Nice day then :)

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 13:52, archived)
Yep
It's the twins' 16th birthday as well, they each got an 8th off their big brother, so they're getting very stoned
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 14:05, archived)
morning ditheads

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 6:14, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Jul 2024, 7:15, archived)
Bit rude really

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 7:36, archived)
Smeggy smeggy smeg, yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 8:02, archived)
Rodney you smeghead!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Jul 2024, 8:44, archived)
Bang bang +
smeg, yeah? bang bang, our fetid foreskinned friend.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 13:09, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 8:10, archived)
Helloo
I’m in Marseilles. It’s sunny and the food is good.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 8:37, archived)
Have you tried the bouillabaisse?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 9:13, archived)
The buttery biscuit bouillabaisse?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 8 Jul 2024, 10:54, archived)
Yes
It’s fucken’ nommy
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 16:00, archived)
lucky boy, I love Marseilles

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 9:50, archived)
Never been
Many French around rioting about the elections?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 10:35, archived)
They're usually rioting whether there's an election or not, aren't they?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 8 Jul 2024, 10:55, archived)
Turn left, it's fashionable

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 11:50, archived)
How gauche.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 13:03, archived)

I like this.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 8 Jul 2024, 14:13, archived)
i'm off to bed

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 21:03, archived)
You would say that

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 7 Jul 2024, 21:31, archived)
bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 21:41, archived)
I can't believe you said that

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 22:44, archived)
Have a good sleep

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 21:45, archived)
thanks babe

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 21:54, archived)
I've just passed a restaurant called BIRYANI MANIA

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 13:18, archived)
also this bus smells of fishy minge

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 13:19, archived)
#LivingTheDream

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 13:19, archived)
bus manker

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 13:39, archived)
Sexy!

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 14:30, archived)
I've just passed a cloud of hot arse gas

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 14:43, archived)
birmingham?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 14:53, archived)
that place is just weird

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 15:01, archived)
Runcorn?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 7 Jul 2024, 14:59, archived)
hell, no

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 15:01, archived)
/talk?

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 15:06, archived)
ding ding

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 15:11, archived)
alright 'bus'

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 15:14, archived)
the wheels go round, but the hamster is dead

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 15:18, archived)
Well I'm a little teapot

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 15:25, archived)
+chocolate

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 15:26, archived)
-eapo +wa

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 16:12, archived)
- Stickleb s
+ p
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 16:43, archived)
wanker

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 17:41, archived)
Bit rude

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 18:56, archived)
not rude enough

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 19:30, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 7 Jul 2024, 16:37, archived)
Morning lols

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 16:44, archived)
Sounds a bit of me

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 17:35, archived)
I have to say, I am not sure I could simply PASS such a place...

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 17:50, archived)
I'd have thought your gaping pout-lipped beef doughnut would have no problem passing anything

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 18:44, archived)
it is far easier for an elephant to pass through his gaping pout-lipped beef doughnut
than a rich man to pass through his gaping pout-lipped beef doughnut
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 18:49, archived)
That's a passage I've often contemplated
yum!
SPECIAL NOTES:
- ALL ITEMS ARE MADE TO ORDER, LEADING TIME WILL BE 1 WEEK.
- PLEASE SUPERVISE YOUR FURKIDS WHEN FEEDING to prevent choking or swallowing.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 18:58, archived)

HUMAN-GRADE REAL MEAT!
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 19:09, archived)
as long as you're there to stop your FURKIDS from swallowing it's ok

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 19:48, archived)
i'm there to make sure they clear their plates

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 19:53, archived)
Fuck you, beepeedee. Fuck you.

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 7:07, archived)
Bit early for that, isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 7:50, archived)
He is a bit rude tbh

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 7:57, archived)
Not nearly rude enough

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 12:25, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 7 Jul 2024, 7:51, archived)
Morning comrade

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 7:58, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 12:25, archived)
Fuck yeah

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 7:55, archived)
Morning

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 7:58, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 8:16, archived)
Morning Mr H
How's it hanging?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 7:57, archived)
To the centre right

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 12:26, archived)
Alright

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 22:22, archived)
SHIT

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 22:25, archived)
WHAT

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 23:01, archived)
Alright. All good here mr. h how are you

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 23:27, archived)
bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 7 Jul 2024, 0:19, archived)
SHIT

(sticklebricks, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 19:45, archived)
I had a massive clear out about 30 mins ago, soz

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 21:05, archived)
LOL
sag
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 6 Jul 2024, 22:02, archived)
Hola muff-guff's, how's it going
I woke up today with tapas on my mind. Might go to Jose Pizarro's gaff in Bermondsey. My pal cancelled his birthday drinks as several attendees have covid so I have a free evening

u?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 13:22, archived)
Usual parental visit
Then maybe get a haircut
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 13:52, archived)
We live rock and roll on /chat don't we?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 14:24, archived)
would be a no

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 14:26, archived)
my day has become far more amusing
my great-niece has started walking and she's off like a fucking rocket the second my nephew takes his eyes off her, he's going insane trying to stop her
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 17:14, archived)
You sort of drag it down with your constant blog. We would rather try and amuse each other, but we got qftw forced on us. I hope you all die , still. Been years and you are all still a cancer. Eat shit.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 21:08, archived)
I'm really enjoying the football this time around

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 22:14, archived)
Number one is back from Hogwarts in a bit so making a chili
She is off to Saudi for the Summer so as long as she isn't kidnapped/converted to Mussa I hope she enjoys it
Oh and footy watching
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 14:23, archived)
home tapas is killing music

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 14:25, archived)
hey mofs
any recommendations for a cheap night out in Noo Yoik?
Most of these websites you get nowadays want to sell me broadway tickets for hundreds of dollars but there must be affordable stuff in a city thst size
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 16:17, archived)
wear a sandwich board that says "Trump is a cunt"
oh, the locals you'll meet
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 16:53, archived)
Quite tempted to do a Borat outside Trump Tower

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 16:54, archived)
do it

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 17:32, archived)
At least 7 years since I went to the city I'm afraid, and didn't really do nightlife there. daytime, central park is always great, the guggenheim usually is good, the village obviously

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 19:49, archived)
nice one, ta
yeah daytime is pretty sorted, tickets bought for guggenheim and moma etc.
Just wanted to figure out some stuff for the evenings
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 19:55, archived)
fentanyl and hookers

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 22:12, archived)
obvs

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 22:14, archived)
working till about 10
then I might hump a hamster, go old school
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 15:25, archived)
prolly bugger a budgie

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 15:39, archived)
classic move

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 16:14, archived)
might have a beer

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 15:38, archived)
Just had a glass of champagne

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 15:39, archived)
still or sparkling?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 18:22, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Jul 2024, 8:01, archived)
Good morning
How are you this fine day ?
Tickety boo? Or not so pucker?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 8:37, archived)
Fine despite drinking most of a bottle of vodka yesterday.
I've gone down to 1 day a week drinking, it's amazing how much better you can handle a drink when you're not permanently half cut.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 11:32, archived)
drinking less alcohol so that you're better at drinking alcohol

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 11:46, archived)

Yep, I'm streamlining my alcoholism.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 12:06, archived)
I do the exact same with weed except I don't have any days off

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 14:30, archived)
This is actually worse for you, in the long run.
This is binge drinking. TSK.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 11:53, archived)
This is Sparta!

(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 12:06, archived)
I cannot believe the amount one of my patients puts away
Tiny woman in her 40s, very well paid career
A litre of vodka daily, a few in the juicer at lunch another few in the evening and a bottle of plonk at dinner
She never seems pissed I am surprised she is not dead
You can only warn people so many times sadly I have referred her loads to the Community Alcohol Team she goes along then continues drinking
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 12:11, archived)
Are you sure she's not actually a bottle, what are your bottle recognition skills like, they come in a variety of shapes and colors

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 14:32, archived)
Nope I am concerned but I have to be neutral
I have her hep results from the hospital amazingly her liver is fine
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 14:52, archived)
A bottle of liver? Perverse.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 16:28, archived)
had two pints last night after work
felt a bit peaky today. Getting older sucks.
(I helped save b3ta! theniwokeup has been awake since, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 12:25, archived)
m'n'g

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 8:37, archived)

Silly billy
Up the japper lol lol lol
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 9:12, archived)
HIYA!
alreet cunts. Miss me?

New government bollocks?

Football is shit innit?
(Spaniardo, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 21:36, archived)
Keir Starmer's wife has great tits.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 22:02, archived)
and thrush

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 22:59, archived)
just got out of the secure unit?

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 22:58, archived)
they forgot to grease the fence

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sat 6 Jul 2024, 8:37, archived)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 17:29, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8417516
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 17:49, archived)
This is fine

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Jul 2024, 19:11, archived)
-n +r

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 19:21, archived)
POLITICS OR SOME SHIT
FUCKING WANKERS
(sticklebricks, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 16:59, archived)
It's been a dissapointing landslide for Labour, says the tory client media.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 17:11, archived)
I vehemently agree
or disagree, also today is both the most wonderful day ever and the death knell of Britain.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 17:31, archived)
How are you celebrating the rebirth of Socialist Utopian Britain today?
Think I'm probably going to stay in and get stoned while playing video games.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:25, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8417549
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:28, archived)
going to get a haircut
edit: that's tomorrow, though. Does that still count?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:56, archived)
As long as it's one of the 10 sanctioned hairstyles:
newsfeed.time.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2013/02/ap995892236224.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 16:09, archived)
Yes, middle bottom.
Phew!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 16:11, archived)
But there are 4 on the bottom row. :(
Only the great leader is allowed to combine sanctioned haircuts.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 17:14, archived)
I had zoomed in, and noticed that after I posted.
However then I noticed that three of them have inset pictures, making a total of seven, so my post was still accidentally correct.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 19:03, archived)
Going to work
Then coming home, eating steak and drinking gin.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 16:21, archived)
I just ate two chicken 'kyivs' like some kind of cunt
how r u lol
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:12, archived)
I pronounces it "chickin keevs"

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:13, archived)
we all have to do that now m8, typical labour, pc gone mad

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:16, archived)
Thanks Starmer

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:19, archived)

Th W
lol
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:20, archived)
no way lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:28, archived)
i wanked starmer
and all i got was this lousy government
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 19:25, archived)

all over my face
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 19:26, archived)
Sorcha Eastwood?
Scorcher Eastwood more like, eh lads?
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:34, archived)
Sorcha Given Me Wood, more like!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:55, archived)
Sorcha? I hardly know 'er!
i707
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 16:10, archived)
vinekeir strokes

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:58, archived)
Oh COME ON

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 16:11, archived)

If Russia wins in Ukraine we'll have to call them chicken alsatians, it's all down to climate change.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 16:02, archived)
I have been shopping all morning
And now I'm watching poltergeist before work. Got a nice fat rump steak for dinner tonight, followed by a couple of gin and tonics
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:22, archived)
sounds good, pizza night tonight here
mate's 50th tomorrow afternoon, then of course 'acca dacca' Sun. Not a bad lineup of activities
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:29, archived)
LINDUP of activities moar loike

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:29, archived)
Not too bad at all
I promised my mate that I would go to southport with her and her kids tomorrow, it's her youngest daughter's birthday. I need to find a way to get out of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:41, archived)
Keep asking insistently what the kids will be wearing and say "oh fuck yeah" in response every time

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:56, archived)

That'll do it.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 16:03, archived)
That is so wrong
I really shouldn't be laughing
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 16:20, archived)
Have you seen Baghead yet?

(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:55, archived)
I have not

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 16:19, archived)

Interesting premise, not so great acting. Like 'Talk to me' but gloomier and not as good. 'Last Shift' is worth a look if you haven't seen it.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 17:29, archived)
Gonna vote today now the queues have died down.

(I helped save b3ta! $$ βœ…, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:28, archived)
Vote to extend voting hours

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:54, archived)

youtu.be/8IOO-xQ_Vew?si=y31wcfvqzblxzRg-
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 12:01, archived)
we've got a links board m8

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 13:07, archived)

I don't like going anywhere except talk and off topic cos I'm an online shut-in.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 13:20, archived)
what's the video of?
I'm on 4g so don't want to waste a click if it's not interesting
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 13:30, archived)

4g billy
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:31, archived)
lol

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:47, archived)

It's Al Murray doing a historical bit on UK governments. It made me chuckle.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 15:56, archived)
oh cool
like the one that's on the links board
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 17:07, archived)

You're a very silly man and I'm not going to interview you.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 20:58, archived)
Well that was all bollocks wasn't it

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:48, archived)
Yes.
Did you expect anything else though?
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:49, archived)
Thought a modicum of arseboon dilbaro might have improved matters

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:53, archived)
Oh yeah, for sure, who wouldn't want that?
Won't happen though, not in this timeline. We can but dream.

I HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY NICE DAY, MR HORRIBLE. YOU ARE STILL AN UGLY BASTARD THOUGH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:56, archived)
What else did you expect from The National Bollock Museum?
Worst date ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:54, archived)
Bollocs

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:56, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 6:35, archived)
correct.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 7:08, archived)
I hope Penny Mordaunt is OK

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 7:09, archived)
i feel the same about Penny Farthing

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 7:11, archived)
Can I say Penny Black
Or is that a klaxon thingy?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 8:21, archived)
I'd console her
iykwim
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 8:10, archived)
I'd give her a shoulder to cry on IYKWIMAITYDKWIM

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 9:12, archived)
Poor ol Lizzy
booted out
(I helped save b3ta! $$ βœ…, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 7:27, archived)
Liz TrOUSTED

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 8:04, archived)
I am Mystic Smeg.
My spooky prediction for today is that Keir Starmer will be very unpopular and will be quietly replaced within the year by

SADIQ KHAN!

My homeopathic remedy is not watching the news.
(MYSTIC SMEG!!! Woo ooh! Wooooh! I am mystical!, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 8:40, archived)

Mystic Smeg.
My spooky prediction for today is that Keir Starmer will be

and will be quietly replaced within the year by

SADIQ KHAN!

My homeopathic remedy is not watching the news
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 8:44, archived)
Oy, stop picking on me.
I'm just sharing my spooky gift.
(MYSTIC SMEG!!! Woo ooh! Wooooh! I am mystical!, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 9:06, archived)
die in a fire

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 9:44, archived)

just sharing my spooky gift a cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 14:31, archived)
Er, Sadiq isn't an MP you IDIOT.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 9:26, archived)
YET

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:32, archived)
Righto, trouse, so he might go back to the Commons as an MP in 2028
Where he'll *checks notes* challenge a very close personal friend who he has known for decades for the leadership, just in time for the next GE.

If you say so mate, if you say so.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:36, archived)
You have serious issues detecting comedy, which makes this really not the website for you to be on.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:39, archived)
You're the last poster on here that should be discussing the ins and outs of comedy, you consistently unfunny shitstain on the y-fronts of life.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:42, archived)
Yeah yeah.
You are just jealous. How many ban-evading alts are you up to now? Seek professional help.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:47, archived)
This place would die on its arse if you stopped posting.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:56, archived)
Yes he is.
A Massive Prick that is!
(MYSTIC SMEG!!! Woo ooh! Wooooh! I am mystical!, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 12:27, archived)
^ expert assessor of massive pricks

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 12:28, archived)
Bet you're a Leo.
My second spooky prediction of the day is that BPD has a fursona.
(MYSTIC SMEG!!! Woo ooh! Wooooh! I am mystical!, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 12:42, archived)
I'm well into yiffing.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 12:46, archived)
IBYAYDOB

(MYSTIC SMEG!!! Woo ooh! Wooooh! I am mystical!, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 13:16, archived)
Very upset with the election results
I'm sure the tories could have turned things around given another 14 years of misery.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 9:03, archived)
It is good the Greens got some seats
Oh and Farage can fuck off
#incisivepoliticalcomment
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 9:18, archived)
If my Dad was a tool maker I wouldn't tell anyone, for obvious reasons.

(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 9:14, archived)
Alright ocsp you weirdo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 9:25, archived)

Morning beep.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 10:34, archived)
My alarm went off this morning on a random spotify tune
It was Labor by Aesop Rock

Twilight zone?
Coincidence?
Bollocks?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Jul 2024, 9:41, archived)
Alright tits

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 9:42, archived)
Hi beepy

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Fri 5 Jul 2024, 10:23, archived)
Hi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 10:26, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:19, archived)
alright
arseboon dilbaro for PM!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Jul 2024, 19:58, archived)
Corbyn to win his seat?
alt: Farage to win his seat?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:13, archived)
Corbyn, no. Farage probably.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:20, archived)
I wish I disagreed about the latter one, but seems likely the fascist frog-faced cunt will make it 8th time lucky.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:22, archived)
I honestly couldn't care anymore. Nothing changes.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:15, archived)
i actually voted this time

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:39, archived)
Reform?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:42, archived)
he has yeah, by voting this time

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:46, archived)
i voted for the nazi party

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:49, archived)
Literally.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:52, archived)
don't be dumb, just be a smarty

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 22:28, archived)
What a catchy party motto.
Good old Hitler.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 12:45, archived)
Mechanically Reclaimed UK

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 1:08, archived)
That's the spirit.
They're all the same in the end; they just use different methods to fuck you over.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 22:31, archived)
What a cretinous statement.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Jul 2024, 0:55, archived)

'It doesn't matter who you vote for, the government always gets in'.
Martin Walker
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 10:51, archived)
Exactly!

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 11:33, archived)
On the way to vote this evening
our SNP lifer neighbour said she expected to be up all night shouting "no" at the telly, in a seat I thought was as safe as possible for them. Cheered me right up, that did.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:19, archived)
what?

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:46, archived)
Read it again, you needlessly argumentative perma-twat.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 21:34, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 21:42, archived)
I read it a few times
still not really clued in
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 22:00, archived)
It's not me, it's you.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 22:26, archived)
quite possibly

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 22:27, archived)
I’ve just floated an air buscuit
It heckin’ stinks in here….
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:52, archived)
are you in a bin?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:55, archived)
Cunt Binface

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 1:06, archived)
Vote Life

(I helped save b3ta! $$ βœ…, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 21:59, archived)
Vote tactically, vote death

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 0:54, archived)
Jacob Rees-Mogg suggests Tory defeat partly explained by decision to ditch Boris Johnson as leader, the fucking Tesco Value Toff
Nigel Farage, the Reform UK leader, has said his party is making progress towards his goal of replacing the Tories as the main opposition to the Tories, according to The Guardian
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 0:53, archived)

Tory vs tory vs tory will fight in kung fu battle, to see who is best.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 5 Jul 2024, 10:37, archived)
Pushing that prick down the board

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 15:12, archived)
OK

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Jul 2024, 15:25, archived)
show 'em who's boss

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 15:30, archived)
Rubbing that prick up the board

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 15:46, archived)
wanna see my pole for this general erection?

(I helped save b3ta! $$ βœ…, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 16:07, archived)
LOL
general
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Thu 4 Jul 2024, 20:10, archived)
Afternoon Mr H
Have you been horrible today or merely unpleasant?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 16:32, archived)
Song is the chef de cuisine at Tsubaki, a Los Angeles-style Japanese izakaya, which offers many different playful fusion dishes, like salmon and daikon creme fraiche served on a Jewish-deli-style potato latke, ffs
"Even a bad Caesar salad is a great Caesar salad, because it’s so flavorful,” said Song, the fucking mentalist
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 16:51, archived)
"Yo, I haven't had latke like this since I was in Sal's on 31st and 9th."

(I helped save b3ta! $$ βœ…, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 17:00, archived)
"What is this shit all over the fuckin top though"

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 17:09, archived)
"Looks like egg shit"

(I helped save b3ta! $$ βœ…, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 17:14, archived)
1/5
www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/quizzes/newsround-sugar-expert-quiz
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 4 Jul 2024, 15:02, archived)

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