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has anyone said hullo wanker's yet?

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:03, archived)

Not so far.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:28, archived)

oh. well how are you mr wallace? i don't believe we've met before

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:32, archived)

fuck off then

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:49, archived)

anyway i'm in the market for an RV
do you have an RV? do you like it? if so please tell me about it and include diagrams.
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:36, archived)

I do not have an RV

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:39, archived)

do you like it?

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:41, archived)

LOOK AT THE DELICIOUSNESS
www.swiftgroup.co.uk/motorhomes/product/42117/swift-kon-tiki/

not cheap tho. might just buy a clapped out berlingo and throw a mattress in it
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:47, archived)

It's nice for a couple
But with kids, it would be too cramped. Better off with a large static.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 18:03, archived)

two friends have those
one mate paid £60k for his and recently sold it because the kids never wanted to go there (anymore, just want to stay home on their xboxes) and were always a pain in the tits, basically ruined it, he's well into surfing and the idea was nice family weekends down the caravan (it was a realy nice one) and he could do some surfing but yeah, just sold it and lost quite a few grand. the other mate still has his and loves it so maybe his kids are less twattish. i dunno. but yeah both are permanently on sites.

i want to roam free. like a squirrel or a badger or a rabid dog
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 18:18, archived)

mind you the mooring fees (lol) aren't cheap, 5k ish for the year

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 18:21, archived)

My aunt and uncle have one in Wales
They rent it out to family and friends when they're not using it, so they're at least making some income from it. As for roaming free, if I had the money, I would take a backpack and go anywhere I could get to in one day, then find somewhere to stay for the night, before setting off again the next day. I did have a strong urge to move to a cave on Dartmoor during lockdown.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 20:35, archived)

get away from my darty moor you filthy forriner
also that'd be chilly af
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 21:17, archived)

Nice thick sleeping bag and a fire

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 21:38, archived)

Yeah you don't want to go spending too much money on a Rape Van if it's just going to get confiscated by the police anyway

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 18:39, archived)

true

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 18:46, archived)

Someone used Gregg Wallace as a verb at work today

(

Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:39, archived)

that's not my fault

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:42, archived)

That was me m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Dec 2024, 18:05, archived)

I used your nan as a colon

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 18:43, archived)

You reminded me of a weird song I heard a stand up duo sing
I put a wheel in her left hand
I put a wheel in her right hand
I put a wheel between her knees
And I used my grandma for a skateboard
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 20:38, archived)

hullo wanker's

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 12:41, archived)

Hey-ya
it's cold and miserable.

My folks have gone on a coach trip to Weston Super Mare for a couple of days. They've shared some pics on the family Whasapp group and it looks pretty grim.

How long do you think it'll take Assad to "accidentally" fall out of a window in Moscow?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 13:02, archived)

I've been to Weston once, on the way back from a lashup in Bristol
It was in winter - my god it was depressing: faded, shut down chip shops, knackered looking seaside 'attractions', all in the grey, pissing rain and wind. To cap it all, as we sat in the car marvelling at all the shitness, a convoy of utterly miserable fat old cunts in mobility scooters rode by. Really summed the place up.

I think Assad will probably be OK, for a while at least. I'm sure deals have been done. How long the russkies stick to the terms is of course another matter
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 13:18, archived)

I'm not too far from Weston-Super-Mare
and yet still not far enough. Absolute fucking pit of despair, Weston.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 13:41, archived)

Quee'f

(

.Yeti., Tue 10 Dec 2024, 13:11, archived)

Yo man

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 13:19, archived)

BUMPASS

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 13:29, archived)

YOU SHALL NOT+

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 13:40, archived)

There's no mystery about Schrodinger's luggage.
It's an open and shut case.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Dec 2024, 13:50, archived)

shut up you stupid prick

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 14:03, archived)

Just saying hi to the populol page

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 16:37, archived)

me too lol

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:37, archived)

Hello
I appear to have contracted some form of lurgy
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 14:00, archived)

I'm still not back to full power from something I caught a few weeks ago
It's reminding me of covid in that it just won't quite fuck off

And when I say covid I of course mean dozer
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 14:02, archived)

I just feel shitty for my mum
She needs all the help she can get with dad, but I daren't go round there while I'm sick, can't risk passing it on to them.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 14:56, archived)

I'm a bit coughative and sneezish
smidge of a sore throat. Not really that bad, but not right.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 14:48, archived)

I've been drinking ice water all day
To soothe my throat, it's killing me. Probably tonsillitis again, with added head cold.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 14:54, archived)

I've got the bonus version this year
where the coughing fits occasionally make me throw up.
(

.Yeti., Tue 10 Dec 2024, 16:17, archived)

That absolutely fucking sucks

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:38, archived)

It's not at the top of my fun list, I'll give you that.

(

.Yeti., Tue 10 Dec 2024, 18:12, archived)

JIZZSTENCH

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 16:27, archived)

aka a 'Dame Judi', maybe yours will catch on

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Dec 2024, 16:28, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Dec 2024, 7:26, archived)

borning

(sticklebricks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 7:44, archived)

Not you.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Dec 2024, 7:54, archived)

Bollocks

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 11:11, archived)

awning

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 7:58, archived)

Rodger Bumpass
www.buzzfeed.com/andrewfirriolo/rodger-bumpass-spongebob-interview
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 9:52, archived)

I are feeling lurgy

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 10:07, archived)

helmit and balls

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 10:48, archived)

Oh tidings of +

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 10:50, archived)

Pre-afternoon

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 11:19, archived)

I'll allow it

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 11:49, archived)

RODGER BUMPASS

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 12:19, archived)

give me an b
give me a o
give me a l
give me a l
give me a o
give me an c
give me an k
give me a s
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 17:42, archived)

Why, do you not have any?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 9 Dec 2024, 17:56, archived)

lost them in a bet

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 18:08, archived)

I won

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 22:57, archived)


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(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 17:57, archived)

Cheers

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 18:08, archived)

I like this

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 21:47, archived)

➖➖🟨🟨
➖➖🟨🔳🟧 --- bollocks
🟨🟨🟨🟨
🟨🟨🟨🟨
➖🟧🟧
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 18:10, archived)

bravo

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 18:11, archived)

Last Christmas, I gave you an l
But the very next line, you demanded another one
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 20:05, archived)

i want more
i need all the ll's i can get
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 20:13, archived)

Are you Welsh?

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 22:04, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BURM7l6_pvg
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Tue 10 Dec 2024, 17:27, archived)

Has anyone said 'classic b3ta' yet?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Dec 2024, 15:42, archived)

Hitler

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 15:47, archived)

classic zyklon b3ta

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 15:49, archived)

Stop showering praise

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 17:22, archived)

Have a holly costy Christmas

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 19:01, archived)

Sammi's fetid clunge.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 17:19, archived)

classic b3ta

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 12:44, archived)

I'd rather have class a's

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 12:55, archived)

and watch the evening news
/ac
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 13:35, archived)

oh, Queef

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 15:04, archived)

Hey come on now

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 14:41, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Dec 2024, 8:59, archived)

Anyone know why we bother with mornings any more?
I hate mornings. Can't we just go straight to afternoon instead?
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 9:09, archived)

goodnight

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 10:10, archived)

Helloooo
another high productivity day here I recon.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 9:45, archived)

Of spunks and guffs, yeah?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 9 Dec 2024, 10:06, archived)

If you did an spunk and an guff in zero gravity
would you stay still?

Or if you did a burp and a fart would you start to spin until your face was in your own guff cloud?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 10:42, archived)

Where your mouth and arsehole are in relation to your centre of mass would determine whether you get a lateral or rotational movement
Also you'd need to expose your mouth and arse to space, otherwise you'd just be expelling gases into your spacesuit and not generating any motion. This exposure might prove lethal quite quickly, as your entire oesophagus, rectum and intestines are exposed to the sheer cold of vacuum, turning you into a frozen farty meat lolly. Kind of like your mum.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 10:50, archived)

Best TED talk ever

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 11:32, archived)

I didn't account above for the possibility of being in an orbital craft such as the ISS, where you'd be in freefall orbit which seems like zero gravity from your perspective, despite gravity still being about 99% as strong as it is on Earth's surface.
If you guff and burp simultaneously in a fully enclosed, pressurised and oxygenated craft, your rotation or lateral movement relative to the craft would still be dependent on your centre of mass and where your mouth and arse are, but you wouldn't freeze. You'd probably make yourself unpopular though - unless you're in space on your own, which is where you belong, you bellend.

I will now take questions from the audience.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 11:46, archived)

"I've got a question" *lifts leg*
PppppPPpppprfffffffttttttttt
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 12:51, archived)

I can provide the most effective answer to that by shitting directly into your ear.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 13:32, archived)

Ah, those headphone will be SennScheiße

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 13:58, archived)

would determine whether you get a lateral or rotational movement
Also you'd need to expose your mouth and arse to space, otherwise you'd just be expelling gases into your spacesuit and not generating any motion. This exposure might prove lethal quite quickly, as your entire oesophagus, rectum and intestines are exposed to the sheer cold of vacuum, turning you into a frozen farty meat lolly. Kind of like your mum. that's amore
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 15:55, archived)

hi

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 10:59, archived)

Taco on feet
Clip clop like horse
(Killbo Fraggins, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 7:37, archived)

Hihi silly hat ^^

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 7:46, archived)

Embrace the week

(Killbo Fraggins, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 7:51, archived)

Pushing brb down the board

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 22:29, archived)

good man

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 22:53, archived)

Someone had to do it

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 23:16, archived)

If I have seen further it is because I am standing on the bollocks of giants.

(

brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 23:29, archived)

Buster Gonad, 1979

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 23:39, archived)

Okay now there's a touch of wind and rain here
climate change might be real after all.
(

brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 15:31, archived)

It's weathering considerably here

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 18:17, archived)

MUFF GUFF thread

muff guff, I mean
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 14:52, archived)

queefception

(

.Yeti., Sun 8 Dec 2024, 15:07, archived)

I changed the name of my horse from epona to my muff on zelda - twilight princess
With hilarious on screen dialogue results!

"I washed my muff for you" "look at my muff go" "my muff is happy now" etc...
(Smug Bastard LOL, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 15:12, archived)

that's nice dear

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 15:22, archived)

You croissant-munching tosser

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 8 Dec 2024, 16:53, archived)

I'm thinking of getting some Reebok heelys. I'm not hurting myself enough skateboarding

(

mongychops, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 16:38, archived)

I've got my kid's deck here
Been sorely tempted to get out on it but given my luck, age and general lack of competence it would likely end badly
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 17:23, archived)

I've took a good few spills. Recovery time is shit. I should pad up more. Meh

(

mongychops, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 17:35, archived)

I nearly went under a lorry in 85
I think I'm on borrowed time
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 17:42, archived)

I'm driving around to social housing estates at the moment doing my thing. Got my board in the van . Loads have a skate spot.

(

mongychops, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 18:05, archived)

There was a great one on Camden Road back in the day
Probably a 5* hotel for asylum seekers now, you couldn't make it up
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 18:09, archived)

Apparently the former leader of Syria has a new position in the Russian orthodox church
Bishop Bashir lol
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 18:04, archived)

Ken how you look like gareth hale?
I look like Bashir Al Assad, true story.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 8 Dec 2024, 18:12, archived)

~~, true story~~ I like Bashir Al Assad. One time he went to Syria. I went to Syria. But some Islamists overthrew my government. I didn't like it.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 8 Dec 2024, 19:44, archived)

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 8 Dec 2024, 19:40, archived)

ANAL SEX WITH A CHIHUAHUA thread

morning, I mean
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 6:37, archived)

alrite

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 8:23, archived)

Yo Mizzy
youtu.be/6P38MLq53JM?si=t0w1tkgq0ZmnWzuc
Today is a roast lamb, 90s hip hop kind of day
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 9:22, archived)

wicked!
i love hip hop
not rock n roll
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 12:51, archived)

Put another dime in the bitches and bling box, baby

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 15:48, archived)

Morning
I shut the cats in the living room last night and I also shut the bedroom door. I still got woken up by both cats sitting on my bed.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 8:31, archived)

i'll call columbo

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 8:51, archived)

Call him an elderly flasher-mac wearing cunt

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 9:24, archived)

+h

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 9:22, archived)

Neither of them has ever done that, fortunately

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 9:23, archived)

Your bed is in the living room!
What do I win?
(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 11:38, archived)

The spare bed is in the living room
But I was in my normal bed,in the bedroom.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 14:00, archived)

Testicles

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 9:29, archived)

Orbs

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 9:32, archived)

Yeah, I'll take the 'morning' option.

(

.Yeti., Sun 8 Dec 2024, 9:57, archived)

Yetz

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 10:01, archived)

Even if you chihuawould, it probably chihuawouldn't.
morning
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 10:27, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8432766
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 12:34, archived)

Hi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 8 Dec 2024, 10:51, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8432761
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 12:54, archived)

chicken noodles with egg, shitake mushrooms and sweet peppers.
afternoon, i mean
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 12:46, archived)

Super slow roast leg of lamb and all the trimmings
afternoon, I also mean
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 12:54, archived)

are you cooking it in the fridge?

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 14:07, archived)

Yep

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 14:11, archived)

Steak sandwich
Cba cooking this afternoon
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 14:24, archived)

alright

(

mongychops, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 20:02, archived)

yeh u

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 20:37, archived)

Are you though?

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 21:35, archived)

nah u

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 21:46, archived)

Better than ever

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 21:54, archived)

fuck off then

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:03, archived)

Bollocks to you
Just because I'm old, boring and single.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:06, archived)

not just because of that

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:13, archived)

The horrific ugliness then

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:21, archived)

actually i quite like it

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:24, archived)

Well I never

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:32, archived)

kiss me you hideous brute

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:35, archived)

Again?

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:42, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:43, archived)

Chilling

(

mongychops, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:24, archived)

lovely

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:37, archived)

Yo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Dec 2024, 21:15, archived)

I

(

mongychops, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:24, archived)

o

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:38, archived)

Alright

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 21:34, archived)

Sweet

(

mongychops, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 22:24, archived)

IT'S A BIT FUCKING WINDY INNIT LIKE MATES

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 10:57, archived)

Not here it isn't

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Dec 2024, 10:58, archived)

look out for the red arrows, m8
www.xcweather.co.uk/GB/observations
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 11:32, archived)

It is indeed
Think I'll stay in today
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 11:04, archived)

i hate going out at the best of times
this is a delicious excuse
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 12:42, archived)

I'm staying in my oodie all day
And watching Star Wars
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 14:43, archived)

Sorry about that, beans for tea last night

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 11:16, archived)

ah. the fabled 'blow pressure area'

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 11:36, archived)

Lol blow

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 11:45, archived)

lol

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 11:53, archived)

no way lol

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 12:25, archived)

Just dropped off some work stuff and picked up a pair of sneakers and socks I was hiding from my wife at my office
I also dropped off a rewarding but deeply offensive poo.

#QueefLife
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 12:11, archived)

might buy a hebtroco belt, they look well nice
/advert
(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 12:15, archived)

They do look good

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 12:24, archived)

I need some new ones
My beloved converse are at death's door
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 12:32, archived)

why would Death have been wearing them?

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 12:43, archived)

So he can sneak up on people

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 14:41, archived)

Was it so offensive it's been given its own show on GB News?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 7 Dec 2024, 13:09, archived)

gb news?

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 13:13, archived)

Put it this way it's no longer welcome in the MasterChef kitchen

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 13:33, archived)

next on the non inclusive news

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 14:05, archived)

Runcorn?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Dec 2024, 13:29, archived)

If I had to describe MiseryCunt in one word, it would be 'asexual'.
Or B- gay.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Dec 2024, 13:43, archived)

or C- cunt

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 14:05, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Dec 2024, 6:47, archived)

Beaufort scale is absolute farce

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Dec 2024, 6:49, archived)

that's why i got a digital set

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 7:40, archived)

Yes

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 8:03, archived)

current fastiest gust 85mph

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 8:15, archived)

current fastiest gust 89mph

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 9:32, archived)

MALfort scale, I call it!!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 8:17, archived)

Mochefort scale, surely.
Although that sounds like a scale for rating the strength of cheeses.
(

.Yeti., Sat 7 Dec 2024, 9:35, archived)

Alright yetso, long time no see

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Dec 2024, 10:57, archived)

Hi, Dozer.

(

.Yeti., Sat 7 Dec 2024, 20:58, archived)

Measured with an aN'ESTPASBONmeter

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 9:38, archived)

Yes

(

Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 7:51, archived)

It's very windy outside and I can't sleep.
Is it very windy where you are?
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 1:28, archived)

Yes

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 1:35, archived)

i just dutch ovened myself

(

MiseryCunt i simply must wipe my arse on a teddy bear, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 1:39, archived)

You fat twat

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 1:49, archived)

Everything is fine here, climate change is a hoax.

(

brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 2:10, archived)

Thank fuck for that
We can stop trying to clean up the environment, or making the world better! I hope the trillionnaires forgive us our trespasses.
(

Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 8:09, archived)

Incredibly so
The dock was shut down last night, too dangerous to work on loading and unloading
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 10:27, archived)

I assume that whole sentence was gay slang.

(

brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 16:33, archived)

I drunks!
On train home from bar yayyyy!
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 23:57, archived)

Hey fuck you

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 0:02, archived)

Yo mama too

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Dec 2024, 5:57, archived)

and your daddie

(Brian Wanksmell, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 9:02, archived)

textbook Brian Wanksmell

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Dec 2024, 7:08, archived)

did you have any sherry?

(sticklebricks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 0:07, archived)

Bollocks

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 21:02, archived)


...▄█▓░░░░░░░░░▓█▄..
..▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ▀▄ ..'
.▐░░░░░░░▀▄▒▄▀░░░░░░▌
▐░░░░░░░▒▒▐▒▒░░░░░░░▌
▐▒░░░░░▒▒▒▐▒▒▒░░░░░▒▌..,
.▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▒▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▄▀..
.. ▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 21:04, archived)

Broadswőòôøõő0aāåāÆrd

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 21:05, archived)

alright h

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 21:06, archived)

Why am I seeing an arsehole?
You can't say ~~mirror~~ Hitler
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 6 Dec 2024, 21:35, archived)

Arsehole or bollocks?
Try this fun quiz
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 21:45, archived)

Take a big shit on top

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 21:46, archived)

I just see a cheeky hamster

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 23:02, archived)

nipple-less top bollocks

(sticklebricks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 21:42, archived)

, Trouser

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 21:46, archived)

Tulong Wang is known for Kao Ni La! Zhan Shen Xi Tong (2022).

(

brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 20:12, archived)

Cool story, bro.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Dec 2024, 20:14, archived)

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(

brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 20:37, archived)

I'm going to Gordon's Wine Bar to get pissed on sherry
Are you going to Gordon's Wine Bar to get pissed on sherry
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 14:30, archived)

Immediate* ban for self doxxing
no I will be going to a pub to get pissed on cider.

*in a month or so
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 14:37, archived)

No
Although I do quite like sherry
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 14:47, archived)

No because I'm not in 1973
you fucking ponce.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 14:56, archived)

Anyway. When I read this tweet (we use the twitter for work) my first thought was um-diddl-iddl-iddle um-diddle-ay
x.com/Cobratate/status/1863927805349687636
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 14:56, archived)

George Galloway's looking well

(Martin Anus, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 15:12, archived)

Why are you looking at that bellend's twitter anyway?
Do you work for the National Operation for Nobless Cunt Egomaniacs (NONCE)?
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 15:14, archived)

Christ, it's like an even thicker (and balder) Russell Brand.
Anyone who voluntarily looks at that cunt's twitter, I mean.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 18:39, archived)

TBF nearly everyone is balder than Russell Brand.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Dec 2024, 20:14, archived)

PARKLIFE!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 6 Dec 2024, 20:02, archived)

Fall through the bar like Del Boy in Only Fools
it would be well lol!
(

$$ ✅, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 15:03, archived)

DO NOT DO THIS ^
until I arrive, gimme 20 mins
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 6 Dec 2024, 15:20, archived)

Mission accomplished

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 17:36, archived)

I'm arseholed

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 17:38, archived)

I bet you are

(

mongychops, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 18:00, archived)

+an -d

(sticklebricks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 0:45, archived)

I am going to the work Christmas party. I will not be drinking as I will need my wits about me in case the phlebotomist starts aggressively flirting with me again

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 18:06, archived)

Phleb

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 6 Dec 2024, 20:03, archived)

toucan & the phlebotomist in the xmas tree, p.h.l.e.b.b.i.n.g.

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 6 Dec 2024, 20:59, archived)

moribund phlebsite

(sticklebricks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 0:46, archived)

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