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Unemployment’s rising in the Chigley end of town
Keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight,
‘Cos there’s gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight
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SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 18:09,
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Birkenheads finest
Is not Englands gain.
Forza Merseyside!
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were all dEvO!!, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 22:55,
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My town gets a shout out in a HMHB song
I wonder if B3ta has a Northern bias... it doesn't feel London biased
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teeeth, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 14:08,
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Actually frothing at the mouth.
What do nutters like this expect to achieve with a video, another court order?
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 16:58,
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They want validation. Someone to tell them they're right. Sadly they'll probably get it.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 21:09,
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Presumably from another karen with similar anger problems,
like some sort of self esteem circle jerk.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 23:08,
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Her poor child....
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:19,
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How dare you victim shame them with your pity.
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:29,
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I apologise. This is your virtue signalling thread, not mine.
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 18:03,
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Goodness
It's one thing to have your breakdown filmed and uploaded against your knowledge, but it's quite another to film and upload your own breakdown.
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augsav, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:54,
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^ This
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 20:20,
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Agreed
Also I'd imagine that if any kind of lawsuit against the school was forthcoming then this might go someway to helping their defense.
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Octo I ruin everything., Tue 1 Dec 2020, 21:29,
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nsfw?
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unclepills, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 18:20,
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It was a challenging wank.
But not impossible.
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Quiver Search for FATALISTS on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, &c, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 22:13,
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I was going to make some flip comment about it never being impossible,
Then I watched it, and was filled with such despair for us as a species, I just went to bed and prayed for an asteroid.
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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 22:20,
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she seems miffed
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 23:58,
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If you hadn't linked that,
I wouldn't have watched it. I am no better off for having watched it.
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Papagato RackSpanner, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 13:42,
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dum-de-dum diddly-dum dum-dum-diddy...
original doctor who theme deconstructed
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 16:37,
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Thorough!
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MartinH, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 22:16,
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oooooooo-eeeeeeeeee-oooooooooo
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 22:18,
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That's just reminded me that I missed
Delia Derbyshire Day last week (organised by a friend of mine).
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 23:34,
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This is great
I was terrified by this song as a child and had to run through the living room if my brother was watching it on TV. The sounds (including the Dalek's voice) were fantastic
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teeeth, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 14:11,
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Never too soon.
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Varmint, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 15:55,
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Not for this one.
But please save GottaBeAndrew for Christmas Day itself.
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monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:55,
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Yoga Practice
I made this!
During the pandemic the Government basically said 'fuck you' to a large section of people who couldn't claim through the UK support scheme. My wife is a yoga teacher. She teaches in gyms and a few private classes. When covid hit we scrambled to get her online as the rest of the world did the same thing. She is not technically minded.
This is not very b3ta but if you have a passing interest then check out the youtube channel :-) I ended up buying a small lavalier mic so audio is a bit better in later vids.
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Octo I ruin everything., Tue 1 Dec 2020, 14:53,
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If she’d filed tax returns for the previous tax year the government would have provided financial support.
Obviously the government should have been handing out cash to all comers, no questions asked, but you know, Tories.
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 15:38,
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She did file a tax return but as a self employed person earning under the threshold she was entitled to nothing.
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Octo I ruin everything., Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:13,
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My humble apologies. Fucking Tories.
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:26,
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Not quite that clear cut...
I'm partially self-employed and was eligible for fuck all through that scheme due to how much I'd earned PAYE compared with self-employment in the previous 3 tax years (it wasn't a great deal more).
A nice kick in the teeth seeing as I'm now essentially on 50% of my annual income due to three different lines of work I do in live events being on hold until fuck-knows-when.
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:34,
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Sorry to hear that. Let's hope this all gets better next year.
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Octo I ruin everything., Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:45,
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Indeed...
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 23:42,
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Please tell your wife that I very much enjoyed that.
But my wrist is really sore now.
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eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 16:37,
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hahahaha
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 16:40,
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hehe - will do :-)
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Octo I ruin everything., Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:12,
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You should have added fart noises
DOWNVOTE
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BarryFromTheShitFarm Oh, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:51,
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Good point
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 18:22,
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actually
i liked being able to add my own fart noises (using my mouth and whatever else was available)
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teeeth, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 14:13,
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Torpedoes Away!
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 14:39,
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Unlucky, two duds in a row.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 14:48,
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That will only enhance the traditional family Christmas Eve viewing of Das Boot,
thanks.
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fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Tue 1 Dec 2020, 19:26,
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Ace film that
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Sherbs, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 3:03,
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Yep - my dad was on Arctic Convoy patrol in WW2
and this is the only war film he ever endorsed or expressed an interest in re-watching.
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fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Wed 2 Dec 2020, 7:41,
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Tis the best submarine film.
Respect to your dad.
My Grandad was in WW2 on a motorbike with a rifle.
Just delivering letters and stuff.
He made it through the war but died from lung cancer shortly afterwards.
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Sherbs, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 19:53,
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I need to take a piss now
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 20:26,
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I started reviewing low abv beers every Wednesday
I made this!
And here's one of them, in this I review a previously famous stout. A milk stout. Enjoy if you can.
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joehmbunn They speak my name in silent but violents., Tue 1 Dec 2020, 13:56,
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You’re the guy that always insists on discussing the real ale with the barman, aren’t you?
“But is it cask conditioned?”, “It doesn’t travel well.” & “I only drink Guinness brewed in Dublin, unless I can get the Nigerian stuff.” Et cetera.
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:22,
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I AM the barman, I don't know anything about beer other than it tastes nice or tastes like a summer's evening.
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joehmbunn They speak my name in silent but violents., Tue 1 Dec 2020, 19:51,
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as a bit of constructive feedback
seeing as you're doing lots of cuts anyway, you should memorise the short lines and do them down the barrel of the camera, rather than reading off to the side. It'll be a lot more effective, viewers like to feel they're being addressed, and you'll find once you get used to it it'll get easier for both delivery and memorisation
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 22:33,
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Thank you for the feedback, I'm not actually reading any lines, I'm talking to someone in the kitchen. There is no lines to be had at the moment. I do genuinely mean thank you for the feedback though, you're right about the cuts, I should use them to my advantage, and maybe a spot of scripting would do the trick. Thank you for watching it. Cheers.
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joehmbunn They speak my name in silent but violents., Wed 2 Dec 2020, 0:19,
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NEXT Festival live streams all week
This time of year, I'd normally be in Bratislava for NEXT, a festival of experimental music and audio-visual art.
For this year's festival they're live-streaming most of the performances for free each evening. Here's the full programme -- note that Slovakia is GMT+1, so tune in an hour earlier than the stated times if you're in the UK. The festival started yesterday (I don't know if they'll be making recordings of past performances available) and runs until Sunday.
I've been to the festival the last three years and whilst small, they always have an interesting line-up of local and international artists from a broad range of genres.
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 12:12,
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any recommendations?
stuff you're looking forward to/curious about?
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 18:58,
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To be honest, I'm not familiar with a lot of the artists in this year's programme,
but I enjoy attending festivals like this (Lunchmeat in Prague is another one I've been going to and I've been trying to get back to Unsound in Krakow) as I don't 100% know what I'm going to get but keep an open mind, ears and eyes and always come away having experienced numerous memorable performances and discovered new artists.
The acts on at the weekend look particularly interesting...have a look through the artist biogs and see if anything tickles your fancy.
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 21:59,
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ooh missed that link ta
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 22:17,
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Is that image
vimeo.com/257761642
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 19:47,
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Same artist.
Well spotted!
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 21:07,
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somerset men suffering from premature illumination
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 6:32,
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On one, right? Right. One one. Definitely not 0, definitely not 0+1, but on one. No problem.
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 14:18,
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5 is right out
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MartinH, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 15:50,
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How to bully
I'm one of the gang.
(Hopefully not a repost)
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gijoel, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 2:44,
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I'm beginning to doubt whether the originals were any good now
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benito vaselini no not that one, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 15:09,
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I've been waiting for someone to say that.
1 It was novel then
2 Groundbreaking satire for television
3 We were a lot younger
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 15:56,
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I’ve been trying to work out just who Britbox think their target audience is.
UK Gold viewers maybe. It’s just that Spitting Image started to feel out of date in the early nineties. I’m fairly sure ITV already did an unsuccessful reboot. The source material may be contemporary, but the old template creaks, a lot. It seems an odd flagship for a new platform, but as I understand it their essential offering is archive BBC and ITV stuff, so maybe it’s apposite. Do they have any other new stuff?
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 16:16,
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The name Britbox suggests an older audience.
Other than that, no idea, I watch YT mostly.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 16:39,
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My sister subscribes, she mainly uses it to watch vintage Doctor Who as far as I can tell.
A few years ago I binged all the Spitting Image shows, at the time they were all free on YT.
My assessment: in retrospect they were always 90% shite with the odd funny sketch, or the odd recurring joke that actually worked. Towards the end the shite was 90% in-jokes and self referencing (infinite callbacks to 'and the vegetables'). They deliberately made the theme music increasingly unbearable with distortion and obnoxious music concrete techniques, as if they were daring viewers to switch off and daring executives to cancel them.
I think FeralCatMan is right. Hislop, Grant & Naylor were funny to me at the time, and they still have their funny moments, but satirical jokes and cultural references are prone to ageing badly, the majority are forgotten. E.g. how many TWTWTW sketches do you know?
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:11,
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I know my place.
Which is a pretty impressive feat for that knackered old sketch since it was first broadcast long before my birth and I’m unaware of TW3 ever being repeated in toto in my lifetime.
EDIT. That wasn’t from TW3 anyway, so none in fact.
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:38,
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Grant and Naylor eh?
That somewhat explains why it's similar to Red Dwarf, in that it seemed exceptionally funny at the time, but now isn't even remotely amusing.
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eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 18:37,
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Yup. Same principle, the gags that emerge from the situation still land but a lot of the cultural references to the mid 20th century need contextual subtitles or something.
Red Dwarf was a good concept and 'Son Of Cliché' is still an objectively funny name.
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 20:04,
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Politicians were a lot more colourful back in the day.
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Tusk knows where you live, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 17:46,
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Norman Lamont had a yogurt pot on his head.
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 18:02,
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Apart from John Major
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 18:36,
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He was too busy shagging Edwina Currie
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Tusk knows where you live, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 19:21,
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Love him or loathe him, Boris is psychedelic.
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 18:39,
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RACIST
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dribble, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 22:54,
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Whatever you do
do not re-watch any of the amazing shows you used to watch when you were younger.
I am watching 'the comic strip presents' again, and some of them are pretty dire.
Obviously, Bad News, Mr Jolly, 5 go mad and some others are still fantastic but they are pretty thin slices of bread surrounding a fat shit sandwich.
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My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 19:58,
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Yeah, I was going through the CSP DVD box set earlier in the year
and it is very hit-and-miss, although I did enjoy this episode which I'd not seen before.
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 23:53,
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UUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLAAAAAAAA!!!!!
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 22:34,
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Excellent
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 9:48,
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Same channel/models
youtu.be/rw5zwkAyyjI
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Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 15:48,
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I Want to do a Poo at Paul's - Over 10 years On
I made this!
Over 10 years ago, this boy desperately wanted to do a poo in Paul's bathroom. Now, Paul speaks out as to how he became an overnight sensation.
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HarvesterStallone, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 19:49,
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Excellent work!
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DreddPirateBob has watched every scifi film ever on, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 21:30,
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Obligatory Kunt track here
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VicJameson : fucking internet virgins since, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 11:35,
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And Cyriak (with added Titchmarsh)
youtu.be/1dF2ZLq7oBk
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Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 16:27,
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Lovely stuff
I forgot about that child.
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joehmbunn They speak my name in silent but violents., Tue 1 Dec 2020, 14:05,
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Unusual books
that are genuine
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social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 17:23,
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Also
this
or
this
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Mehitabel_Itrang, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 18:23,
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No "A hand in the bush"?
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 19:41,
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Just a squirrel
looking for nuts.
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 19:48,
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Melissa Haynes should publish a new edition with this photo

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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 22:19,
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I like the ones that aren't deliberately trying to be lol wacky
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 22:44,
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I guess that's what happens when you buy a "used" copy
Click for bigger (39 kb)
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tinglto 4 sheets to the wind, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 20:01,
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Why The Web Is Such A Mess
a tom scott video
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 17:23,
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Advertisers
Basically just the scum of the Earth.
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wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 11:45,
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Something about the thumbnail makes my eyes go weird,
and I can't help but visually misinterpret the baggage under his seat as some bizarre sort of German Shepherd.
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eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 17:09,
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Looks like a cabbage patch rottweiler to me.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 17:16,
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Great
from start to finish.
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Delay Tactics Intentionally left blank, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 17:17,
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Let's book a coachtrip to Rundle.
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Damien Hurts just forgot a really good idea, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 18:47,
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That's Adelaide
Last time I was there, there was 11 year old kid with an SG playing AC/DC songs. They know how to busk in 'Stralia.
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plankton, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 13:45,
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next up: Danny Boy
"the pipes, the pipes are calling..."
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 22:26,
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I was waiting until your candles day
But you got there first
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Penis Christ Supercar not to be confused with other popular Christs, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 8:24,
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Do I have to?
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eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 11:50,
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optional, for now
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razzle, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 12:35,
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It seems like a lot of effort to get any good at chess.
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eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 13:12,
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Chess God...
"It is understood that deep blue was shut down due to the fact that IBM was not happy with Kasparov's attitude, but not that he's retired, why won't they start up deep blue again"
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Damien Hurts just forgot a really good idea, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 18:49,
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Mandatory in the future then.
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wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 13:21,
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Might be a bit late, isn't chess one of those things where the truly great players were practically weaned on it?
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Mehitabel_Itrang, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 18:19,
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you're welcome
lichess.org/training/
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theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 11:13,
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A marabou stork
and Rüppell's vultures
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 11:34,
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2020 in a nutshell
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 11:32,
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JD Sports just entered a bid for the dead antelope.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 16:42,
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Get the funk on !
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buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 2:20,
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Is he wearing a giant duster?
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RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 7:59,
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I feel the need to make a bracket.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 9:12,
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I thought that was Dogbomb for a second..l
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Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 10:14,
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Where has he gone? I thought there was new stuff on the way.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 11:01,
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Up the pub
obvs
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GforGermany looks like some sort of retaining plunger, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 12:44,
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For a substantial meal I guess.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 14:04,
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Scotch egg?
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Pie of Meat ___°¬¯O¯____\o/_____/\_,____Y¯¯Y, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 15:06,
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Steady on now, I said meal, not banquet.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 15:17,
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Death by over catering
is best avoided.
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 19:46,
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Oh it's more of this hilarious dude.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBVmsAcD1aw
Let me in I wanna FUCK!
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eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 10:49,
Reply)
Faux funk
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Varmint, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 13:42,
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I can't stand this prick.
Well done to him for having so much success with such little talent or charm.
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 1 Dec 2020, 14:08,
Reply)
Dry Cleaning
Is it a hat or a mask?
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notoolsovernight you're all luvvly an' 'orrible, Mon 30 Nov 2020, 0:10,
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