Cowboys and necks
I do remember being oddly aroused whenever we watched Lucky Luc at school when I was 14 - something to do with the way his hair draped over his eyes. To my shame I must confess that not only was he a cartoon cowboy, he was also French.

I now seem to have something of an obsession with the bit where a man's neck joins his body - being sat near an attractively turned neck on the bus in the morning is enough to make me walk funny as I leave. And I'm a girl.
(kitteny_goodness, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 20:17, Reply)

This is the best QOTW ever
It's both hilarious AND arousing.

LOL! *throb* ROFL! *twitch* LMAORGASM!!
(soma9766, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 19:53, Reply)

17 yr old piss stiffy and other tales of woe
I spent a bit of my time in hospital when I was 17 and woke up one day in intensive care. Now I don't know about anyone else but I CANNOT pee in those stupid little bottles they give you. So as the day wears on my body reacts by giving me a hard-on to stop me peeing myself. Bugger, thinks I. The nurse looking after me was getting concerened I hadn't been to the loo and decided, with another nurse, to check my bladder. Cue huge embarrassement from me and her as she slid her hand under my pyjamas and right on the top of my raging stiffy.

The last couple of years have been wonderful for me - NOT. Problems with my guts meant much prodding and poking and bum-fingering, but last year beat the lot.

In January I had appendicitis, young fit asian female doctor inserting her finger into my ringpiece was just the start.

Then I developed probs with my waterworks, meaning I was prodded and poked around my nether regions by a male doctor (not nice) and told I needed a camera inserting in my bladder to check for anything nasty. I hate sitting in a ward wearing nothing but a thin hospital gown trying to keep my very bored mind off the nurses for nearly an hour. Get into the theatre and find 3 nurses, all female, waiting patiently for me to lie down and lift my gown. Then one squirts some gunk down my japs eye and, heres the good bit, MASSAGES IT DOWN MY URETHRA (think backwards hand shandy). How I managed not get a lob on astounds me even now.

I'd better stop now, need to go walk the dog, yes, thats it, walk .... the ..... dog ......
(Tyrion, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 19:52, Reply)

reading your posts

(The Horizontal Monster Mash Mr. T Pitties Me, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 19:49, Reply)

Wrong?
I watched "Kids".
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 19:40, Reply)

I had a lovely 83 year old neighbour, she carked it and I went to her funeral
I'm sat there, not knowing many people, being ignored, when this vision of carnal-desire appeared, just sex on legs. She's up at the podium reading some sad shit when she starts crying, up springs captain-wobbly, hard as hell. She comes and sits close enough that I can smell her perfume, I have a raging, pulsating erection. Off the coffin goes down the conveyor and everyone gets up to leave, of course I can't stand so I stay a little longer as I'm "so overwhelmed with sadness", everyone thinks I'm sensitive. Knocked one out in the bogs at the wake though.
(Chopper3, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 19:34, Reply)

When at work...
There is this girl who works in the hairdressers to the left of the office who walks right infront of our window to go to the paki shop on the right hand side. All summer she wears essentially what i can only decribe as porno-school-uniform type clothing. I cannot help but perv. Anyway, her fella got her up the duff and she got more and more pergnant (if you know what i mean) One day she come into the office cos shes got a car and wants to insure it (did I mention we are insurance brokers) Gave her a quote and when she got up she gave a sorta "ooooffff-ahhhhhh" sound as she got up due to weight of now 7 month belly. Is it so wrong to get a bona-fide bonner that wont go down for 15 mins?
( currantbun is nubtnarruc backwards, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 19:13, Reply)

I'm sorry, but my optician is very sexy
despite being 20 years my senior. He's Martini handsome and wears a delicious aftershave. He gets so close to my face - I could just tilt my head up & kiss him! It's such exquisite torture.
*rubs nipples*
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:54, Reply)

Local Buses
They just vibrate so much
( Letum Your Ad here £2.40, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:53, Reply)

A couple of them...
As a very reluctant church goer, i usually spend my time thinking of more interesting things than fairy-tales. As the service demands much standing up, I find myself in a position with much awkward positioning of the mass book. Not that I find Jesus arousing or anything...

Also, i think all teenage males have experienced the panic when it gets close to the end of a lesson and it just won't go down!

VFM
(Viscous Fridge Magnet Used To Be A Cha-Cha, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:46, Reply)

One time..
At a party with my mates. Some girls who i knew a little bit, but not great friends with, were there too. Specifically two were rather arousing and i was admiring from a distance.

I decide to go and get a beer. On the way past to the kitchen one starts getting really close and biting into a chocolate bar while saying how i'm cool. Cue a semi.

Little while later the other hugs me, cue almost full arousal.

Later still they both surround me on the couch rather close, and thus cueing another 'un.

This went on all night, but they didn't notice due to their major drunkeness.

Shame their boyfriends were there though :(
(androoh, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:43, Reply)

opticians too...
Had a trainee optician give me an eye test, in the presence of my normal optician. She was dressed smart, except for the very short skirt and boots, but nothing too outlandish - it's only an opticians after all. I figured the least I could do was act keen and polite and help her.

She studied my eye. She moved closer. And closer. Her thigh against mine... those opticians' stools are so small... a few seconds later, her forehead was resting against mine as she studied my right eye, and my left. And my right again. I could do nothing but stay still in the bowl-like headrest as her forehead pressed against mine, her nose tapped my nose and her knees got closer to the happy bits...

At this point the real optician asked her how my eyes were and the experience came to an abrupt halt. On the plus side, despite staring at a computer screen all day for weeks on end had improved considerably! I and her were most happy, but the optician was less believing...
( johnsto, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:41, Reply)

painful and nonpainful
nonpainful:
edited a magazine for a while, got regularly stressed out, and decided after a while to treat myself to a proper massage once an issue ... lying face down was no problem but (flipped over) when the masseuse made circular rubbing motions around my lower belly i really had to think in a very focused way on non-intimate things: fish fingers for some reason ... and the one time she accidentally brushed my balls with her hand (even through underwear) i was instantly demanding "more towels" alleging that it was suddenly cold


painful:
fell off my bike inventively aged 13 and bruised my urethra (pissing blood) ... got kept in for a couple of days ... mind aimlessly wondering one morning, post-pubsecent cock in stiff state, when morning-rounds doctor wanders up with a bunch of medical students ... "what do we have here? it's ... oh..." ah, the shame ...
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:28, Reply)

boy scouts
i'd been a boyscout my entire life and a few weeks ago i just earned the top award: eagle scout.

when i was on stage receiving my award and giving my speech, i go the most embarrasing boner ever. nobody could see it, but in my mind i kept wondering what the crowd was thinking i was thinking about. i mean, the audience was just a bunch of preteen boys and grandparents.

i still don't know where it came from, maybe the warmth of the spot lights?
(Baron von Aaron CHARGE!, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:26, Reply)

Chugga-chugga
. . . Class 57 Diesel Sprinters . . . yummers.




*gets anorak*
(ring-finger is also a verb, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:17, Reply)

the first week of school this year
I went to the nurses to get a tampon cause I'd forgotten to bring one, expecting to see the two ladies from last year, but no, sitting there was the cutest 20 something male nurse that has ever existed. So I shuffled about a bit and asked for a tampon and we both blushed and I basically died.

This year I've..."been ill" a lot. I am SO hitting on him when I graudate.
( Funtastic Pony Magic, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:13, Reply)

Oh my, where to begin :P
Needless to say, lots of things get me going: the DLR, acceleration while sitting in the front passenger seat of a car, tight jeans, breastfeeding outside in winter, watching guitarists, magicians and jugglers, the list is fairly lengthy ;)

[edit] by jings! I forgot Transits!
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:02, Reply)

I've suffered...
Oh yes I have, from the bus-stop hard on. It must be something in the vibrations of the bus. However, when in close physical contact with women who I would like to make the beast with two backs with, I have ninja like self control. I really don't understand it, but it still doesn't stop me from getting the sodding good friend speech. What's a bloke to do?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 2 Feb 2006, 18:00, Reply)

Do you know that moment when you realise for the first time that you have a certain fetish?
I work in an IT dept, with some lovely geeky lads. I'm a geekette, so I'm not averse to a bit of pale and interesting. But now I'm married. So it's all a moot point.

A colleague came in near the end of the day whom I'd never considered in that way before. He'd been out on site. And I mean "on site".

Normally respectfully be-suited and booted, he walked in wearing old jeans, lumberjack shirt, high vis vest, big ole boots, proper helmet and to top it all off, a couple of days worth of very sexy stubble.

I'd never been bothered about construction workers before, but now...

How the hell do I get him into this get-up again?
(Cryptoprocta has abandoned the username of Voodoo Mary, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:44, Reply)

13 stitches later
when i was 18 i got into a fight/got my face kicked in, lots of blood everywhere - all coming from my face, so at the hospital the nurses (i have always had a thing for them anyway)decide to check me over(all-over)for injuries... so trousers down, shirt off and 2 nurses check me over. obviously cue near-instant semi and one of the nurses informing me that "everything must be in working order"... bearing in mind they have yet to stitch me up, anyway i got taken away to be stitched up and for some reason i found the older(in her 30's/40's) nurse stitching up my face weirdly erotic... never got over the embarrassment of said nurses waving goodbye to me smiling/giggling
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:38, Reply)

the special olympics
i got a 'tard-on'
(shanvishnu, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:35, Reply)

hahaha just like Frsssshh
I think I and all men suffer the Bus stop boner.

it's the stop before your stop and you sit up thinking you're getting off soon, and up it sits too

cue shuffling with bag infront of trousers down aisle to get off bus
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:32, Reply)

On the dentists chair...
When the incredibly buxom young wench of a dentist's assistant is leaning over you offering 'suction', what else can you get but a stirring in the loins?
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:26, Reply)

Ariaxen
They are'nt the same actress (well not the one im referring to) Edna is played by Shirley Stelfox and Rose by Mary Millar but Shirley Stelfox first- and it is Mary Millar im referring to- the 'fitter' one!!

gald thats all sorted!

But yes id do edna too...............
(Keyser Soze, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:19, Reply)

Rose from Keeping up Appearnces...
..Is now the cantankerous old lady Edna in Emmerdale. Bet that doesn't stir your loins.
(though I think a different actress played her later on maybe?)
(Ariaxen, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:17, Reply)

when my aunt eats
it's alright she's not blood
(jack mort - tXc, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:17, Reply)

Hairdresser
Well not so much erotic as accidental.

I was visiting a Norwegian hairdresser and had spent half an hour chatting to the nice young lady as she trimmed my hair.

Then she asked 'Would you like me to blow you?'

And plugged in a blow drier and dried my hair.

No apologies. It was funny at the time.
(woodchopper likes chopping wood, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:13, Reply)

keeping "up" appearances
even I thought Rose was pretty sexy, at one point (the kind of crush where you want to be someone, not bang them).

I'm a girl.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:13, Reply)

Hottwist
Thanks for reminding me- 7 of 9 and T'Pol from ST Voyager and Enterprise- skin tight lycra with big breasts- what more cud you want?!
(Keyser Soze, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 17:11, Reply)