Spend hours reading b3ta.
Realise I'm late for a lecture.
Start walking to lecture.
Change my mind, turn around go back home.
Post message detailing my exploits on b3ta.
Think of all the precious time I've wasted.

Also, the caretakers and cleaners in my halls seem to spend most of their time on a smoke break, chatting, or watching TV. I usually join in with the chatting, but unfortunately I don't smoke.
(Krunk Hey hey, ho ho, 1100110, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 14:33, Reply)

I used to work in a supermarket
and on the nightshift we used to kip on pallets of toilet rolls in a quiet corner of the warehouse. You can build entire forts with these things if you've got enough of them. Many times we had a go at conquering someone else's fort while they were asleep in it...
( andyparmo bumming sheeps since, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 14:30, Reply)

If you work in IT
get used to reading grey or green on black. I spent the better part of a year chatting on IRC and my boss was sure I did a great job maintaining the server.
( sinisterduck, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 14:27, Reply)

I am currently "skiving" - well, sort of
last Saturday morning, I was doing the 5 o'clock round when my right foot slipped out from under me and I went down, full weight (89 kg)onto the edge of my left kneecap.
I have often used the expression "I'll break your fucking kneecap".
Karma I suppose.


Also: for extra comedic effect, I slipped in a large pool of urine.
(peewee13, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 14:26, Reply)

Reply for Pauldrystonewall!
I too work for Birse and currently there are 2 of us chuckling at this lot when we should be working!!!!
( Cheeky Boy! loves horses..., Fri 29 Apr 2005, 14:18, Reply)

Not very exciting, I'm afraid
but six or seven years ago I was working as FD for a leisure company near Blackpool and roughly once a fortnight I would have 'a day off at work' which involved locking my office and either falling asleep on the floor all day or playing Tomb Raider (which I never finished even in God mode). Everyone just assumed I was at another site, and when I emerged bleary-eyed at the end of the day I was able to put it down to 'poring over reams of financial printouts'.
( routine has perfected burgers, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 13:48, Reply)

How I Skive Off Work
I work as a caretaker in a large public building. The basement has a distant and spooky storage area, where no-one apart from myself and the other caretaker goes. Local council employess are a trusting bunch. The line "I'll be in the basement" gives me freedom to be absent as long as I want. The only effort I've ever expended down there is creating a large and very comfortable matress and pillows out of industrial sized toilet roll parcels. Cosy.
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 13:25, Reply)

Yawn.
While working in the library of a London university I frequently used to:

a) Find a nice quiet desk in a corner - you know the ones with screens all around - lay my head down and have a snooze for a few hours. No one would disturb you because they assumed you were a student.

b) One of my jobs was to return periodicals to the overflow shelves in a room miles away and in another department. I would take the only key, lock myself in, select a appropriately sized book to use as a pillow and catch forty winks.

I might go and have a lie down now.
(Stacker, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 13:24, Reply)

Making stupid compo entires on b3ta...
...and waiting for the people on my course to realize it. Then begin the beatings.
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Fri 29 Apr 2005, 12:42, Reply)

i like to..
click my own 'i like this' button all day

when i appear on the final 'top' page, i like to think its cos i'm witty and have friends

:'(
(5lab, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 12:34, Reply)

Quake Breaks
As the boss of a small company I very stupidly allowed the installation of Quake on the few computers we had. And a couple of times a day I'd allow a 'fragfest'. Obviously as soon as my back was turned, my workshy employees used to fire-up and spend the rest of their day blasting each other to smithereens. Can't imagine why the company went tits-oop.
(chuntymudflap, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 12:00, Reply)

I used to be a bad pisshead
I still am a pisshead, but I'm better at it now - anyway, I used to work at a Computer Games company tucked away in a little cubbyhole with my co-worker - I simply used to sleep of the previous nights excesses until me mate woke me up when the boss arrived - I only got caught once when me mate had gone to get toasted teacakes from the sarnie shop!

Once awake, I also used to blatantly play the latest computer games on me PSX devkit and when the boss walked in I'd pretend that I was doing research into the next big thing.

I really was a lazy cnut!
(Rabbers, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 11:47, Reply)

Sleeping.
I work nightshifts alone in a hospital, and given the chance I'll nod off. God alone knows how many people have died because an ECG graph got there late. Oh well, they were sick anyway.
(Small Beer, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 11:20, Reply)

When really tired
Close your door, pour paperclips on the floor next to it, and then lie down for a nap. Not only will it look like you're doing something, you'll also get an apology for getting hit by the door!
( bloobloo, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 11:18, Reply)

Metro tucked into sock...
..like a shin pad. Gets me safely to the toilets, without any obvious-looking literature for my 30 min morning Brad.
(Double Pie but Triple Mash, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 11:07, Reply)

Skiving
Boring job, scummy location, most of the staff out a lot of the day on site visits. Best way of skiving I found was to embark on a series of sympathy shags with some fat, hopeless cunt I work with.

Was awful. For almost a year he has spent all his time either groping me in desperately unsubtle ways in meetings or having awful, devaluing sex which barely lasts longer than 15 minutes.

I hate my life, but it beats doing my crap job.
( Nikfuf Eetr Northern Midlander, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 11:06, Reply)

i am a man and i enjoy skiving
but it gets me in trouble.

i surf t'interweb for at least 6 hours a day. one day i came across the website of one of our coporate partners - for some strange reason, they'd decided on using a wiki for their site. now, for someone who surfs about all day, i know fuck all cubed about computers, and even less about wikis.

so out of frustration and confusion (and a bit of spite) i changed all their text, links, and banners to read "wanky wank"

needless to say they complained and i got a bollocking.
(big fat lazy man on a sofa is giving his piles a bloody good clawing, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 10:23, Reply)

Shagging.
Boring job, scummy location, most of the staff out a lot of the day on site visits. Best way of skiving I found was to embark on an affair with my extremely attached colleague.

Was great. For almost a year we spent all our time either groping one another in a 'subtle' way in meetings or shagging all over the office if we were left alone for longer than 15 minutes.

Fun AND less work. Marve.

Edit: I LOVE the response two posts up - GENIUS!
(rumandcoke, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 10:17, Reply)

Server room goodness
We're pretty tight on security in our place. This means that I'm one of only 3 people with access to the server room.

Off i go with the laptop and a few movies. As the air con is so loud i always say I've headphones on so i don't get driven mad, but it means i can't hear the phone.

the 3 of us take it in turns to spend the day doing nothing!
(tribal tiger, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 10:06, Reply)

Work is like a Social Club
I haven't done any real work for about 12 months. Work for me is a place where I hang around for 8 hours. I turn up, chat to cow-orkers, plan lunch, plan nights out on the piss, more chatting, go home. And to tell the truth I'm getting really bored of doing that.
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 10:06, Reply)

i am
curantly in an ict lesson at school and hoping the teacher doesnt see me on teh interweb.
it is almost impossible to be not spotted so i devised a cunning plan to stop anyone from paying attention to me.
i throw a werthers original wrapper into the printer on the other side of the room and while everyones trying to fix the "paper jam" i am happily searching the interweb for a new hat.
( DR Mexico Hunt, Hunt, Hunt, He's The Huntsman!!, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 9:51, Reply)

FULLER
my work buddy mr fuller spends all day on the phone and flirting with a member of the service dept.
(mcintoish, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 9:42, Reply)

myself and another lurking b3tan...
used to work together where the unofficial motto was "if the shop's clean at the end of the day, and the customers aren't wildly unhappy, then do exactly what you like."
The main objective in the morning was to avoid being used as a till monkey- if successful, you were immediately promoted to customer service... and customer service = the best job in the entire world!
We used to set traps for each other involving sellotape trip wires, or sit in the stockroom having Nintendo championships... or type obscenities into the book ordering service and chuckle at the results.
My specialty was scattering security tags sticky-side-up all over the floors, then watch and snigger while customers protested their innocence, never thinking to check their shoes...
There was also the truly memorable day when I went to the staffroom only to find that he had built a fort out of boxes of stationery, and was busy defending it from "the enemy". It was like a Saturday club which you got paid for attending. Amazing. Their profits seem to have recovered since we both went to uni... but I don't think there's anything in it. :)
(griffster, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 9:37, Reply)

That reminds me
I should've been at work 30 mins ago, but instead I opened up my browser and started to read this. Ah well, they prolly won't notice too much, I'll just say I was at another site or something. Then when I get there I'll do a few things that need doing, then do a bit of skiving on teh interweb. Normally I'd get ordered to go home early, but since my boss is down in london today I'll just have to work out when to leave myself.

Best get some clothes on and get a move on really.
(boxit, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 9:28, Reply)

Parmesan ...
The is a potential flaw in your 3 point plan for skiving which I fell foul of.

I was sat in the corner with monitor facing away from all and sundry. What I didn't realise was that as it was winter it got dark early, and everyone could see the reflection of my screen in the windows behind me.

Luckily everyone saw the funny side and I got promoted when I threatened to leave to work for one of our clients. Yay!
(Throbbe, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 9:22, Reply)

Well ahem ;)
I used to work washing dishes in a hotel, a foul job. But I soon realised that if I walked around whilst holding a container of some sort everbody left me alone. Cue me getting some exercise by walking circuts of the hotel for 3hrs with a container. And if anyone stopped me and asked what I was doing well "I'm just taking this to one of the chefs".
(rattus, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 9:14, Reply)

skiving
recently, Iv'e taken to telling everyone at work I'm going to the toilet and then just sittinng there reading my book...

If you cut me open I'd bleed beige
(darkmavis86, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 9:12, Reply)

Go to War
This is the first reply I have made to QOTW EVER! But what I do to Skive, as we call Shammin', from work is to actually go to war. Sure it sounds bad at first, but after the first day or two it's not all that bad. Let me describe a bit from my life. 1900(7pm) i get up for work. Goto work immediatly because i've overslept for an hour. Show up and relize that only one other person from the dayshift showed up and i'm the only one comming on shift. Okay. So I turn on my handy dandy civilian laptop and plug into the Military Non encripted Internet. Open Internet Explorer. hmm.. what do you know.. b3ta on my homepage. Check out new pics read some QOTW answers then check for new sites by clicking on pics. No avail.. Next I either have ramen or redbull, never both at the same time. Mabey i'll have a smoke.. mabey not. depends on if i feel like getting up out of the chair. Then I spend endless hours playing network games with others throughout Iraq over our Internet... easy to do... no.. because i really suck at UnReal.. but I'm getting better. so i sit there and play video games occasionally calling my wife for free over the telephone (voip)... oh no.. about this time it's been 12 hours... time to put 5 gallons of fuel in the generator before it runs out.. okay.. good .. time for bed.. well.. that is if i didn't just fall asleep waiting for the internet to start working again.... .. wait wait.. that's work.. .. did i ever mention guard duty?? well.. that's cake.. wake up at 2200 to 2230ish.. go to guard mount.. then take a truck to the tower.. . lay out my compacted blanket from my backpack.. and fall asleep untill somebody comes by in a diesle engine truck to try and sneak up on me.. funny.. since there is nothing around for about 2 miles... but okay.. I get up .. they walk up the stairs to give me the meal of the day.. which is usually chicken.. why?? i don't know.. but it usually is.. eat my chicken.. have a couple of smokes.. then back to sleep untill 0730.. wake up.. whipe the tears out of my eyes from laughing because i fell asleep on my chicken and now it's all in my kevelar.. then get in a truck and go back to my room and read b3ta for a couple of hours... yes.. yes.. it's hard.. but somebody has got to protect ya'll from terroist..... This war is a bunch of CRAP! but have a nice day anyways. e-mail me i get bored at work
(DeoxyriboNucleicAcid, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 8:50, Reply)

skiving off work (not me well, kinda....)
a friend of mine works as a traffic cop in Germany, and rather than do any real work, he spends all day driving around town like michael schumacher with lights and sirens blaring, (and just for fun)has races on the autobahn with other traffic cops. pure genius
my job is easy, working in the student bar - whenever I want to waste some time, I just say im going to the pisser, and then spend 20 minutes arsing about outside! I even got someone to cover for me a couple of times, and still got paid for it! woo yay!
But quite possibly the best, was shagging one of the barmaids the the storeroom outside when we were supposed to go and get another keg of bier, funnily enough, nobody noticed we were gone....happy days
(Herr Oberfeldwebel Steh auf oder stirb auf die Knien..., Fri 29 Apr 2005, 4:30, Reply)

clipboards...
bloody useful things. managed to walk around the factory and the offices with a couple of random documents attached to one, stopping off and talking to almost each and every person on my travels, which took up a whole friday morning (we only worked half days on friday)

could also make walking round with a piece of paper occupy a good hour or two.

am now a student and have perfected my slacking technique thanks to (in no particular order) the internet, a set of turntables, the playstation, lying on the roof in the sun, drinking beer, and so on...
(squirrelysquirrel, Fri 29 Apr 2005, 3:52, Reply)