My daughter...
told the careers adviser that she wants to be an International Assassin as it is well paid, you get to travel all over the world and you don't have to work very often.
Rather than encourage her and offer advice on how she could progress into her chosen career, which is what the careers adviser is supposed to be there for, he reported her to the police as a potential terrorist threat.
The (rather senior) police officer who was, much to his amusement, sent to interview her advised the careers adviser that perhaps he was in the wrong job.
(Alf N. Safety - refusing you planning permission on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 9:46, Reply)

ugh...
always always wanted to write books. but don't really have the discipline, there's always something too exciting going on. so the excuses started off as, i'm too young, i have nothing to say. then became, i don't have enough peace and quiet, when i move. and finally, i don't have a computer.

now i have my own flat and my own laptop, i'm running out of excuses and have about 80 "chapter ones" on my hard drive. all followed by blank pages...

[however, as last night's so called civilised drinks with barristers (evil lot, must have wanted to be torturers as children) turned into an epic that finished at 7am this morning i think my brain is rewriting dante's inferno. anyone got any nurofen?]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 9:20, Reply)

bit off topic
I'm 19 but hey, I'm, not grown up yet in my book. I actually have no idea what I want to do jobwise, I have no idea if I'm doing the right degree (and I've already changed that) and there is absolutely nothing I want to do with my life apart from maybe sit around watching TV getting pissed. Up until around 3 months ago I wanted to be a clinical psychologist, before that something to do with genetics (then I failed biology and chemistry AS so that went a bit tits up). Basically ever since I can remember I've known what I've wanted to do career wise and now it's actually pretty important I have at least some idea I haven't got a crapping clue.

Bit off topic but errr in short, I HAVE NO AMBITION (and I'm late for a lecture)
(lei, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 8:57, Reply)

I'm not the kind to kiss an tell but....
I wanted to be 'The Fall Guy', you know, the stuntman. Drive a big pickup with fuck off wheels, do the occasional jump for fun, solve crime AND appear in films diving off buildings into a massive bouncy castle - all while living with that HOTTIE 'Jodie' so i could look at her bum. often. WHO WOULDN'T WANT THAT JOB? I'm now 32 and still want that when i grow up

I Never said it was going to be funny.
(TheManofScience, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 8:52, Reply)

Not me but...
...a friend at school. When the teacher asked us all (aged about 12) what we wanted to be, he said "A bee-keeper".
(E-mail Zola Son of Che, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 8:44, Reply)

As a child:
I had a burning desire to enter my thirties having had limited sexual experience with only a few people, to have worked a succession of bottom end McJobs that offer almost nothing in the way of financial, creative or emotional return, leading me to question the 'work and reward' theory that the western world is based on. I also wanted to be a prematurely balding, over weight, heavy smoking borderline alcoholic with an occasional gambling problem and lack of self worth. Praise be! Kids, your dreams CAN come true! (The larger penis I wished for never happened though. Oh well, can't have it all, eh?)
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 8:32, Reply)

What I didn't want to be...
At the age of 5, I was afraid of going out in the sun in case I turned into a black man.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 8:07, Reply)

My Sister the Goblin.
At the age of 5... my little sister wanted to be Oliver Twist. She watched the film literally every day and one day decided that it was time to take action. She had to look more like a boy... Using a large pair of kitchen scissors she began cutting all her hair off while rocking along to 'consider yourself' until all that was left was a freak of a child... gashes, head-stubble, clumps of hair here and there... at least, she thought, she looked more like an orphaned boy than a goblin.

Dad wasn't too pleased and she wasn't even allowed to go to school for a month for fear of shaming the family.
(dazsnow the "ever amazing" - cowjam said so once, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 7:55, Reply)

All I can really remember as a youngster
Is not wanting to a) be kidnapped or b) emigrate to the US because I didn't believe they had Lego, and they did have High School Dances... With girls.

Carrot/ Stick... Carrot/ Stick...
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 7:48, Reply)

As a young slip of a lass
I do recall the voice that said "It puts the lotion in the basket..."

Now? I've been driving a Tesco delivery van direct to YOUR door for the last seven years.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 7:30, Reply)

Open to suggestions
I still am a child so I'm yet to have all my dreams crushed, hurrah!

I've always wanted to be a ninja or something that requires lightning quick reflexes; fighter pilot wouldn't be bad, or perhaps a superhero. Dunno what it is about having inhuman reflexes, but it sounds cool in my book.

Measured in metres, honest.
(zid, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 7:29, Reply)

hmm
I think I always wanted to be an inventor and create perpetual motion machines and the like, the obsession carried over into me being a mechanical engineering student. I just gave it up for basket weaving though (Philosophy Major now) as I think I would probably have a lot more fun as a college professor.
( Arsonade is saving up for a new box of hummus, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 7:14, Reply)

I wanted to be the most popular person around

so that everyone would think I was funny and cool.

But I also wanted to be the least popular person around, so I could be a cool outsider rebel.

Thanks b3ta!
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 6:44, Reply)

granitewitch

I wouldn't like to be Spock - simply because he's obviously far more competent and qualified than Kirk, yet not the captain. In fact everyone on board is far more competent and qualified than Kirk. What does Kirk in fact do?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 6:39, Reply)

Funny how things turn out
When i was in my last year of high school they made us do that "What Career will suit you" yoke, and number one on my list was Camera Operator. I was 16 and thought this was a good idea. I started a Bachelor of Photography the next year. In second year I got a part time job delivering pizzas. Gave up Photography (I was crap at it in fairness) and became a professional Pizza Girl. It's fantastic. I must have done something dreadfully wrong though: They sent me to New Zealand.
(spent.fish flipping and gasping, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 5:55, Reply)

Childhood dreams
By the time I was in third grade, I wanted to be a paleontologist, spend all my time outdoors digging and blowing stuff up, and then I'd die of skin cancer in my 30s from all my time in the sun. (No, I'm quite serious.)

I also wanted to be a nanny, large animal vet, or work for SETI. Until I realised I was crap in science. I'm now an animation student. Fwar!

My brother wanted to be a flamingo. Many a time we would break into fisticuffs cos he wouldn't believe me when I said he couldn't be a flamingo. (Except I usually insinuated the fisticuffs. Go me.)
(DeadCats, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 4:52, Reply)

I was six, visiting France at the time, and a friend of the family had packed up the car for a move to the south.
"Help tie things down," he said to me.

I spent the next hour tying intricate knots which could be easily removed by hand, but not by the jostling trailer. It was the most secure payload anyone had ever driven. I then knew my passion.

I wanted to tie things together for a living.

Today I make video games instead.
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 2:36, Reply)

I aspired to be so many things...
There were two majors... architect, or chiropodist; as a young one I found it fascinating to cut peoples fungal toenails... and pick at my brothers verruca's... but time eventually took their toll... and I realised that both required 7 years in uni...

Bonedwarf... I think I can see why... unless you were very drunk writing that post :P
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 2:33, Reply)

From about age 5, I decided I wanted to be a teacher.
Not just any teacher, mind.
Nah, I wanted to be Anne of Green Gables (after she grows up & becomes a teacher, but before she marries Gilbert & has a shedload of kids).

I then went through a phase where I decided I wanted to be Jimmy Barnes (Aussie rocker).
Kinda impossible, I guess, being as I was a 7 year old girl who couldn't sing.

During high school, I scared my parents with the announcement that I was leaving school to get a hairdresser's apprenticeship.
Don't know why I wanted to do that, I couldn't (& still can't) get my own hair to look good ... may have been influenced by a school mate who did the same thing, and always seemed to have money & great clothes.
In retrospect, these may have been supplied by her 34 year old boyfriend.

Now, I'm a teacher. So, I guess I'm living the dream (apart from the ginger orphan part).
But, they have a heap of karaoke places here in China, and bloody cheap beer, so I can still fulfill my dream of being a drunken rockstar just like Barnesy ... for a couple of hours at a time ...
(Celerydemon, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 2:21, Reply)

Writer...
When I was five I wanted to be a writer. I wrote through most of my childhood. When I was 16, I had an English teacher named Mrs Shaw (name not changed as she was a bitch) who told me my writing sucked, and I had no chance whatsoever of ever writing for a living, she actually I was crap.

While I am by no means famous, I've spent half of the last six years living off being a writer, so FUCK YOU MRS SHAW!
(Bonedwarf is the size of a lemon, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 2:00, Reply)

When I was Younger.....
I wanted to be a knight

Like one of those medieval ones who charge around on horses (mine would be called Nuno)

This led to many an hour playing dungeons + dragons (and various other RPGs) as a knight to make up for it.

I still want to be a knight!
(Evenflow, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 0:59, Reply)

I wanted
to work for SETI and the ASSAP at the weekend (The Association for the Scientific Study of Anomalous Phenomena) because I wanted to know all about black holes and to find out what causes spontaneous human combustion. I read alot of Arthur C Clarke as a child, those Sweet Valley High books all the other girls read were a bit shit. Only problem was I'd scare myself and not sleep at night.
I went and studied Physics with Astrophysics at UKC but did too much sex and ended up reproducing instead and didn't finish my degree.
I don't know what I want to be when I grow up now. Got few years to decide before I do that working for money thing.
( moogy boobles, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 0:00, Reply)

I had no clue
For the first four years of my life, I wanted to be a butterfly when I grew up. Someone had shown me a picture of a caterpillar wrapping itself up in a cuccoon and I was pretty sure that would work for me. Never did though.

After I gave up on that, I decided I wanted to be a baker, seeing as I was a good cook even then. Seriously, how sweet would that be? Literally! Minus the early mornings. So I gave up on that too.

I've changed my mind many a time since then, and I'm a student now. What do you think that a little girl who wanted to be a butterfly ended up in?

Pharmaceutical science. Don't ask how that happened.

I kind of hate it though, despite the fact that my grades are fantastic...click 'I like this' if you think I should go back to my pseudo-original dream of being a baker. I never sleep anyways.
(kablaaamo, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 23:43, Reply)

An owl.
I wanted to be an owl for a bit.

I had a big jumper (that my mad alcoholic granny made) that was far too big and I could put it all over me, with my arms inside, put my hands down on my feet and pretend they were owl claws while waving my sleeves/wings like I was a big fat wise bird*.

It was green.

Is it obvious that I have just had my end of year appraisal and now have no ambitions left in life other than that kill crazy rampage I keep promising myself?

And Laurence Corner closed last weekend. Mumble.


*How unlike real life. The wise bit I mean.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Thu 29 Mar 2007, 23:40, Reply)

Mad fat scientist
When I was young I wanted to be a mad scientist. After 4 years in Ag & Fish, analysing dead cows, I realised why scientists are mad.

Now I drive a big fuck off HGV, cutting up Beemers. MUCH better.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 23:31, Reply)

At the Interview.
I guess my earliest ambition was to be a musician, and to some extent I did. I think it was when I made a guitar for my action man that I sussed. Anyway ffw a few years and I'm having an interview for a High Street Music chain. Having worked previously in a guitar shop the interview guy says:
"So music and retail? You see yourself as having a career in Music Retail"
Guy was a genius obviously, so my reply.
"No mate, I always wanted to be a spy or an astronaut, but I'm not posh enough and I get airsick."

Got the job, damned to MacJobs forever. I spy in my spare time but can't get the space ship off the ground.
(Mr Steve is jobless and fancyfree!, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 23:25, Reply)

We did that thing where you put
all your details into a computer and it tells you all the things you can be when you grow up. I got the results back with tecky things like business analyst, laser physicist, database programmer etc. There was one anomaly at position number 3 "Sandwich shop owner".

Fast forward 14 years one degree in physics, one masters and working toward a business masters. Curiously I'm helping a mate setup a deli/sandwich shop.
(el_meerkat, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 22:56, Reply)