This could be bad...
A friend of mine is threatning to come as Baroness Thatcher this Halloween. He's male.


On second thought, so's Thatcher...
( Sylia Stingray is pilfering the biscuits on, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 10:47, Reply)

actaully, whilst i'm here, i'll share some other people's shame
a 'french disco' party threw up some wonders of the modern age. the loud, brash, jamie-oliver-type-gimp wanker on our course came in a pretty-good pre-GLC GLC outfit. except he'd grown a small moustache, and i wasted no time spending the entire evening telling him (and pointing out to his poor girlfriend, who wouldn't go near him) that it made him look like michael fish.

at my final show, for both graphics and fine art, the try-hard-f***-up girl that every year has, turned up in a plum coloured PVC dominatrix outfit with stacked PVC boots. i think she was a bit upset that nobody batted an eyelid.

fetish party, as all unis are by charter obliged to hold, always turns up some interesting stuff. however, pity the poor git who thought it would be a good idea to go naked but wrapped in gaffa tape. i heard he was slathered in savlon for the following week following it's removal.

'essex party', one guy came in blue slacks, white loafers, a baseball cap, burberry parka-thing, and polyester ben sherman rip off shirt. before he went to the party he tested it out in the chavvier parts of town, and got bought a few drinks.

oh, it's only fair i suppose. I went to the same party in full 80s tart get-up - crimped hair, blue eyeshadow, florescent pink lipstick, tiger print thin vest with blue push up bra visible, shiny polyester minishirt, huge gold gypsy-hoop earrings, fishnets gold ankle bracelet, and magnificent white stilettos, the single best charity shop buy EVER. i've recently seen photos. i really didn't intend to look that good. gah
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 10:30, Reply)

You're A Very Naughty Moose!
At university I belonged to the Hat Society, surely the laziest form of fancy dress club, being that it only affected the top of your head. Still, much effort was put into having the weirdest hat. In case you're wondering what the Hat Sociecty is (you can guess really, I mean we were students) it was pretty much just a weekly pub crawl in hats. Excellent fun, never seen so much vomit in my life. Anyway, my hat was a stuffed toy of one Bullwinkle The Moose stitched on top of a straw boater, don't ask why, it just seemed comedy at the time. It went down rather well, at one point we entered a pub where some woman was up on stage singing and she stopped the song half way through to offer me £100 for my hat. I'd gotten Bullwinkle from a trip to America and was pretty sure I wouldn't be going back soon so turned her down.

However the night took a slight turn for the worse when we invaded a different bar. There was a large group of us (thankfully) standing shoulder to shoulder with a handful of skinheads who we guessed didn't like students, judging by the looks we were getting, but there seemed to be enough of us to make them think twice. That was until one of my mates mentioned the singer and the £100 and I saw their eyes light up. Despite re-telling the story in a very loud and deliberate voice the looks on their faces seemed to confirm that I had been marked for not only a good kicking but a quite decent mugging as well. Five minutes later and the beer is taking its toll and I head to the toilets. I'm standing at the urinal when one of the skinheads walks in and stands right next to me. I was preparing myself for the inevitable, when he turns round, looks me in the eyes, then his gaze drifts upwards and he looks Bullwinkle in the eyes. Then with the right amount of drunken slurring, in a top quality Biffa Bacon voice he says "How man! Wor moose is looking at my cock!"

I hold in my laughter, he said it aggressively enough to let me know he's trying to provoke the fight. Luckily, however, I've just finished my wee and so, zipping up, I put on my best 'The Major' (Fawlty Towers) voice, look upwards to my hat and say "You're a very naughty moose!" before legging it back out to the safety of the group, giggling like a retard.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 13 Jan 2006, 10:27, Reply)

Ah... fancy dress...
I have in my time had some really good fancy dress outfits, and have actually won prizes. In my time I have gone to parties as a doctor, Steve Irwin (with a big plastic crocodile- the main problem was that the tail was curved and had a slight problem of getting caught on people's handbags, bra straps, clothes... I made sure I "lost" it), and my personal favourite, Eric Draven. I have a pic of that on my phone, and if ever I figure out how to get it on here, consider it posted.

However, friends of mine from university have always gone one step further, mainly for halloween parties. For example, in 2001, several people went dressed as Osama Bin Laden. Ruffled a few feathers that one did. Then there was the time that John Leslie hit the news, and very quickly became the theme for a fancy dress outfit as well. An old suit, some flour down one lapel and a Blue Peter badge... and away you go!

And then there was the time that I went to a party dressed as a woman. God, that was scary. I had a blonde wig, high heels... let me just say for the record those things are bloody murder on my ankles. Not only do they rub the skin, they also are very hard to balance in, and also really really mess with how I walk. After about an hour of trying I gave up and switched back to wearing my dockers. Ahh... sweet relief.

Also, there was the time I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a dead gangter, but that was a bit lame. I was showed up by Osama bin Laden. In October 2001.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 13 Jan 2006, 10:20, Reply)

oh the shame....!
I'd been entered into many fancy dress competitions as a child, by my Mum (although being iliterate, she was an extremely good seamstress)often winning first prize wooyay more colouring books for me!
So by the time I was 9 years old my Mum had ran out of ideas, she decided to ask the godforsaken being that was my much older brother, he drew a picture, Mum copied it to the letter and the costume was perfection, and so I was all excited and "bound to win".
Ahem, just one small problem........ My brother had drawn and my Mum had dutifully copied to the last stitch a Klu-Klux-Klan costume.
I am still asking for forgiveness!
(owmy, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 10:19, Reply)

Contreversial.
A friend of mine recently went to a fancy dress party at uni.

What did him and his three friends go as?

A terrorist, two towers and plane.

Their arab friend was the pilot.

The show piece was when just as the party was quieting down the chap dressed as the plane ran towards the two towers and on collision lots of little toy men fell, attached to strings, out of the 'windows' of their costumes.

Awful but genius.
(Spoil Me please, oh, please, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 10:15, Reply)

This year I dressed as ...


Or here if that image is blocked.
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 10:03, Reply)

oh, shame
a drag party. quite difficult for us girls to participate in, as it's usually just an excuse for blokes to wear fake tits. i went, quite cunningly i thought, as boy george in full culture club-era gear.however, i didn't realise how convincing it was, and to this day i can't look at photos of me in it, as i now know that in drag-drag, i AM BOY GEORGE.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 9:57, Reply)

Party guest
About three years ago I went to a party wearing wrought iron swimming trunks and inflatable arm bands and carried a can of mace. I went as "Michael Barrymore's Vigilant Party Guest."
(stusut79, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 9:34, Reply)

James Bond party
A friend organised a James Bond party but I wanted to be different and not go in the standard Tux. A colleague suggested a costume with a difference so I went for that.

I went as Jaws but instead of metal teeth I had a cardboard shark's fin pinned to my back.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 9:15, Reply)

Adam - of Adam & Eve fame

2 fig leaves

2 strips of sellotape

that is all

thanks mum

wouldn't have been so bad but i was 19 at the time
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 9:12, Reply)

Halloween one year
I'd made the mistake of actually going to a party organised by someone at work. So, as not to cause to much of a fuss I decided to go as a scary Dominatrix. Buckle bitch boots and skirt, PVC corset hand cuffs and whip. All delicatly accesorised with a huge f*ck off spikey choker and cuff. I loved it. Especially the bit where I cuffed a manager up and spanked him in front of the rest of the staff.

I still giggle about it now. But not when they get photographic evidence out.

I still hate work do's.
(Oops....did I say that out loud cos I really bloody want to., Fri 13 Jan 2006, 8:52, Reply)

Launch Party
I once went to a launch party for a dotcom I was working for. The theme of the party was hats - you had to wear some type of hat.

Now the boss of this dotcom was a German twat called Oliver Prill. Right cunt he was. His idea of motivating people was to scream at the top of his lungs and threaten everyone with the sack. I despised the little weed. (Why is it that little people in positions of power turn into raving psychotics?)

Anyway. I scoured the military surplus stores of London until I got the hat I wanted and went to the party. Had a fantastic time but Oliver was staring suspiciously at me all night. Eventually he came up to me and looked at my hat.

"You do vealise vot zat hat iss from?" he asked.

"Course mate. East German Secret Police. "I "vanted" to make you feel at home"

He went spastic.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 8:40, Reply)

Turtles
I heard of a guy who went to a fancy dress party with his girlfirnd on his back

"What the fuck are you supposed to be?" asked the host

"A turtle" syas the guy "This is Michelle"

Sorry.

EDIT: Or the bloke who came to a fancy dress party with his knob in a bowl of custard. "And what the hell are you" asks host

"I'm fucking discustard" says bloke
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 8:13, Reply)

wow coincdence or what
it just so happens that im having a fancy dress party on saturday

my friend is going to bring a toy aeroplane and come as an "aircraft carrier"
(General Arfarfarnarf He who hesitates, Masturbates!, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 6:56, Reply)

The Package
Mate of mine went to a party New Years just gone, where the theme was Two Thousand and Sex. He decided to go at the last minute, so had no real costume. He wore a pair of boxer shorts, shoes and socks. Down the front of the boxers he stuffed a couple of pairs of footy socks, to make his package abnormally large.

Not one person mentioned the packeage the whole night, but he caught numerous people of either sex checking it out when they thought he wasn't looking. Photo's from the night caught more people looking. He quite enjoyed the whole thing.
(Pleiades, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 6:51, Reply)

People Fucking Hate Mimes
One year I was at a loss, so I put on a striped shirt, black pants, a jaunty beret, and enough grease paint to camouflage my ugly mug, and became a mime. I thought I was so clever -- very cheap costume, and I totally looked the part.

Two problems arose. First, mimes aren't supposed to talk. Ever tried to go 6 hours of partying without talking? Pretty impossible, and it doesn't help when everybody is just waiting for you to make a mistake. Forget about chatting up any lovelies.

Second, everybody pretty much fucking hates mimes. Once you go through your repertoire of "stuck in a box", "climbing a rope", and "fighting the wind", you're stuck imitating others. Not the most welcome of activities, believe me.

It wasn't until half-way through the night that I realized: I fucking hate mimes, too!
(danalan Pretty good, for an amateur., Fri 13 Jan 2006, 4:57, Reply)

How not to pull ladies
Went to a fancy dress party early on in my uni days. I wore some load of crap that could easily be discarded for the purpose of moving on to a night on the town later. My friend who came with me, however, went all out to win the "most crass outfit of the year prize". He donned an outfit entirely of red clothing, with several packets of Minstrel chocolates stapled to his shirt and carrying two unattached bicycle wheels. When he explained to any lady he spoke to that he was the "Menstrual Cycle" any chance he had of pulling rapidly disappeared. I seem to remember he gathered a couple of slaps for his trouble too. It wasn't even that funny a gag.
(You'll never take me alive copper, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 4:37, Reply)

She shat in his coffee, then got him fired
Back when I was about 8 or 9, my parents dragged me to some work party with around 50 couples and their kids. I go as superman, complete with shite foam patches for muscles.
I looked like a twunt, and knew it, so with all the superiority an 8 year old can muster, I demand muscles from everyone in the entire room.

I then proceed to fill out these muscle pads with a collection of cardboard, paper hats and tissues, kindly donated by parents and some freaked out kids.
All went well untill I went to the toilet and asked the nice man in the loo's for some toilet paper to make me look like superman.

Turns out he didn't like my Mum, or his job, very much.

It took my parents 4 hours until I took the costume off at home to figure out why I stank of human waste.

I'm still, asked "What's that smell?" at family outings to this very day.

How did my mum get revenge? Read the title.
( Pointy Head poked another hole in my anorak on, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 4:00, Reply)

i've always had a side parting
So, one day when i was doing my GCSE's i went to a history clinic in Birmingham.

4 private schools in a lecture theatre watching 'Hitler' on trial.

For some unfathomable reason i decided to show up with a square of black masking tape on my upper lip whilst wearing all my german army clothing, bought from those weird shops you find on sea fronts...

I know it's not a great story, but it was scary when, after the show, the bloke who played Hitler propositioned me, sexually... I was 15 and scared, i said no. Thank Great Cthulu...
(blackfacedfightinggibbon, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 3:57, Reply)

Anyone know when it will be possible to surgically remove memories?
Metaphorically speaking, my housemate is like the yellow, feathery star of Sesame Street. Put bluntly, I suppose one could say she is FUCKING huge. At six foot tall, and weighing in on the wrong side of thirty stone, I do not use those words lightly.

On the night of her arrival we had a big night out.

Unfortunately, my unfortunately sized housemate decided that a night in the pikey hell that is Wetherspoons would require her to wear a French Maid outfit. Until I saw her attire, I was unaware that Ann Summers had branched into making camping equipment.

The sight of her bending over, huge thong leaving nothing to the imagination will be forever burnt into my retinas.

We left her on the way to the pub. It was too terrifying. She retaliated by spreading dogshit all over the house.
( Queen of Cheesecake, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 3:25, Reply)

Once, at short notice, I wore my normal clothes and carried a single 'nerf' table tennis ball. I was Hitler, because I only had one ball.

Also this little number:



I was Imperialism.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 3:07, Reply)

Pulled out all the stops for this one.
Foul memories of college party where fancy dress was involved. Hate them with a passion, but had to go. My outfit took a good oooh, maybe ten minutes to get together: I just wrapped myself in toilet paper and went as a Mummy. Class all the way. Didn't matter, everyone else's outfits were rubbish too, and everyone only went to get stonkered and shag the class bikes. Ahh, the good years...
( Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 2:45, Reply)

Halloween fun...
So there was I, at college, having the time of my life, mostly missing as much of it as I could. A young lady friend - my chem lab partner - was hosting a fancy dress party, with lots of available drink, and a hypnotist to provide some much needed entertainment for later in the evening. What was I going to wear? Since I'm not exactly the sturdiest of people build-wise, I was thinking either a skeleton (not my kind of thing) or Death. Now, I like the idea of the Grim Reaper - top bloke, just can't really go out drinking with him. So up I whip this SUPERB cowl and cloak for it, top rate work. All I needed then was the final bit - and my proudest bit - a scythe. Blue Peter time, methinks. 2 hours later, I have a nearly genuine scythe set up with me. I walked to the party, down the street (I have no shame) while every now and again getting stopped by the coppers asking the usual kind of stuff, "Where you goin' with that then?" "To reap fields, thicko" etc. In I made it to the party, and here is where the kit made itself noticed. NO OTHER GIT HAD GONE IN FANCY DRESS. My chem partner hadn't mentioned it being a bloody fancy dress party to anyone else. Swines. Still, managed to concuss the hostess' boyfriend, and actually knock the hypnotist out with my scythe. Result!
(Eddiethefish Back again, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 2:43, Reply)

High School b*stards
I'm one of those people who looove fancy dress - have my own stash of costumes and wigs etc and can't understand why others don't join in. It was not always thus though..

Fade back to the end of 1988. I'm in my second year of high school, and our yearly school disco is annouced, with a fancy dress theme. People start talking; 'I'm going to wear this, I'm going to wear that'. I keep quiet as my parents don't have much money and can't sew...so I know I don't have anything. But the talk continues and even my friends join in. I've got to find something!

The night of the disco I'm in distress, crying to my parents - I don't have anything to wear! My dad, being a military man, pulls out some old khaki fatigues and dog tags and says, 'you can go as Rambette'. I'm mortified and embarrassed, but I figure it's better than nothing and appreciate my dad's kindness.

So, in head to toe green, including head band and little brothers AK-47 water pistol, dad drops me off for the dance. It's then I get my first taste of reality - when I hand over the ticket I realise none of the organisers are dressed up. When I inquire as to why I'm told 'ah, couldn't be bothered...'.

when I get into the dance it sinks in - NO-ONE has dressed up, except for me in my humiliating 'Rambette' costume. Ah, not quite no-one it seems - two of my just as young and naive friends have come as Cleopatra and Kylie Mole (aussie tv character). The three of us cower in a corner while the older kids look at us with derision and our peers laugh out loud. And of course as it was a school dance we weren't allowed to leave until our parents came to pick us up, so we were stuck there for four hours.

I still don't understand why the older kids/organisers would choose a fancy dress theme and then not dress up. Why other kids would talk for days about what they were wearing and then not bother. It would even be okay if it were some colossal conspiracy theory against the three of us who dressed up but we just weren't that important at my school - uncool yes, but not in a noticable way. Till that night, I guess.

After an hour or so of embarrassment though I made the best of a bad situation though by filling up the water pistol and letting Rambette wreak what petty revenge she could upon as many fellow students as possible.

Maybe that's why I put so much effort in now - as I've been so thoroughly humiliated it can't get worse...

on a happier note I met Mr Blu-k at a fancy dress party. I was dressed as a lost swedish backpacker and even had an incorrect map. Mr Blu-k (dressed as rather fetching pilot) said that if he could see my map of Tasmania he might be able to help me. Luckily for him I laughed instead of punching him, could have gone either way.

apologies for length but I'm saving a fortune on therapy bills....
(blu-k, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 2:06, Reply)

( Pineapplez, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 2:02, Reply)

Children In Need 2005
Me as Dennis the Menace!



That is all

/edit: Yes, that is my real hair!
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 2:01, Reply)

I once went to a Hallowe'en party as Easter Island.
I got a grey swimming cap to cover my head and used grey face paint to make everything above the neck match. That was the big stone head. Dark shadows in the eyes and everything.

I wore a swatch of green carpet that I got from a charitable carpet dealer around my shoulders to be the island part. Underneath that was a pale blue sheet, which I wore like a cape, to represent the Pacific Ocean.

Finally, I raided my old Lego collection and found a palm tree, a rowboat, and some sailors in full period garb. They had rifles, hats, a map and everything. I used tiny bits of steel wire threaded through the carpet to hold all of them in position as though they'd just landed and were exploring. Looking up at my face, which was a giant stone idol.
(The Ghost of Stephen Foster, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 1:54, Reply)

ah, for halloween.
i went as a baby. if you could call it that. i wasn't actually a baby, but my friends were wheeling me around in a shopping cart we'd done up as a baby carriage and covered with some quilt. it was fucking hilarious. i couldn't go up stairs to receive candy from people with porches though. my friends had to go up themselves and leave me sitting in the street or driveway or whatever. they made sure to show me to the people and request extra candy for me and the midget i was allegedly hiding in the carriage (it never worked). i had also stuffed my candy bag in there with me and a couple thousand pillows. it all backfired when, stopping at a porchéd house perched inconveniently on the side of a hill, my friends turned round to point me out to the candygivers to find i was gone, rolling down the hill at top speed, nearly melting the tiny swivel wheels propelling me. i was lucky to have survived that halloween, as were my negligent friends. best costume ever though.

oh and one time i was batman.
(USER No: 21515...FUCK YOU TO FUCK YOU FU see profile for limited time offer., Fri 13 Jan 2006, 1:34, Reply)

I'm dyslexic.
I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
(dazsnow the "ever amazing" - cowjam said so once, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 1:19, Reply)