Ozzfest
went to a fancy dress party for some public schoolgirl dressed as Ozzy. Big silver cross, sleeveless tshirt, "Ozzy" written on my knuckles, wig, round glasses. None of my friends dressed up but fortunately a lot of the public school arseholes had so I didn't stand out that bad.

Shit, Shit Shit Tripleshit party. It had a bloody bouncy castle, an unironic bouncy castle as half of the people present where under twelve dispite it being a seventeenth. The buffet consisted of Crisps. Fucking hundreds of crisps. Nothing else, just pringles, doritos, walkers, crisps crisps fucking crisps as far as the eye could see, and every flavour of pop ever.

So, we got a crate of lager and some weed together, and sat in the back getting pissed and stoned.

Unfortunately, when I was stoned I suddenly decided I was gay. I wasn't, but I decided to behave like a complete mincing homosexual, and I was *very* convincing, It was the greatest bit of method acting in the history of the world ever. I had a slight, underplayed lisp, I ran with just a little more ass-swish than usual etc.

Unfortunately, swaithes of the people there were actually from my stupid chav school, so lots of the lower-downs were utterly convinced I was gay and gave me constant cheek for the rest of my schooldays, and considered my fat, beer-swilling, cigar chomping red blooded heterosexual majesty to be but an act to save face. Bastards
(Slyph, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 18:15, Reply)

well...
in one case, i made (yes, made) a straightjacket. it actually works, terrifyingly enough. what's even scarier is the fact that whilst wearing it, i successfully pulled. i was with her for two years, and she broke my heart when she moved to scotland for uni.
in the other case, i'm not sure if this counts, but i was at santacon, as goth santa. black trenchcoat, white furry trim, spraypainted santa hat (classy, no?), toecapped boots, shades. it looked mint, and it were great fun. in an attempt to maintain the colour scheme, i was also drinking only guinness. all day. after about fourteen pints, i shat like you wouldn't believe...
www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=74877606&context=set-1606862&size=l
terrifyingly enough, this photo was taken by cthulu santa, who can be found here:
www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=74859252&context=set-1606862&size=l
( nowhere.elysium Exploder of cats, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 18:14, Reply)

christmas hi-jinkery
Well, after being given the theme of 'christmas carols' to dress up to for a christmas party. i decided to go, in tipical silly goon style, as mary christmas, and the costume comprised of a father christmas hat, a pair of stockings and some red knickers. after getting dolled up in the sluttiest of slutty makeup by the girls in the block next door to me, i was asked by the desperate bar staff to be the father christmas for the party.

I appologise to everyone who had to sit on father christmasses lap who was wearing a beard, eye-liner and lipstick.

im a fellow by the way...
(justjuice, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 17:39, Reply)

spongbob!
i mate of mine once abused his company's dress-down friday policy by going into the office in a full spongebob squarepants outfit.

he was sent home and they've since changed the company policy about dress-down fridays to avoid it happening again!
(secretsquirrel, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 17:30, Reply)

not quite fancy dress but...
my work place has just announced we all have to come to work in our pyjamas on valentines day. i mean y?wot is the f uckin point?!who *actually* likes these things?!as if valentines day wasnt s sh*t enough day already they want us all to look like a bunch of twats as well...better get the holiday form out and book a day off i think..
(You Love It, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 17:21, Reply)

Space Themed Pap
College Fancy Dress - the theme was a vague space one so trying to be a bit less obvious than going as pPedator, Han Solo or a Cylon I opted to go as HAL 9000 which entailed making a nice box with a red bulb inside, nice silver edging and accurate HAL branding sticker and wearing on my front. Worked a treat - dressed in black - job done; very happy.

The sad proletariat sadly missed my knowing nod to Kubrik and generally thought I was a condom machine.

THE WORLD IS NOT READY FOR LITTLEPIXEL!!!!
( LittlePixel, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 17:07, Reply)

hate
fucking dressing up for owt, yes i am a grumpy old git

my mate Pete is of the same opinion - last halloween, on the way to the party (both of us in regular clothes) he shows me this piece of cardboard with 'FUCK THAT' written on it. I only understood the full majesty of this idea when we arrived and people straight away were saying 'how come you didn't dress up?!?'. Shown the card. Classic. I got one of my own for next year.
(shanvishnu, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 16:48, Reply)

Thankyou Woolworths
Around Halloween I found in Woolworths one of those stick on wounds which drew my attention primarily due to it looking like the nasty 'gash' could have been an 'axe-wound'.

I proceeded to make a constume for a 'Bad Superhero' themed night based entirely around that childrens halloween prop and the wondefully heroic name "MingeFace"

It was a good night
(skagg, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 16:44, Reply)

How can THAT win it?
My mum could handle a sewing machine with a lightness of touch which would have pleased the Gods. I was used to winning, it was in the blood.
First year it was a dog, simple but so very beautiful. The competition was beaten before I took to the stage, they knew it, I knew it. Eat my dog.

Next year it was Daffy Duck, yes you heard, Daffy effing Duck in your face losers, I win, easy, EASY, EASY.

Can you imagine the pride I felt when I took to the stage in my exact replica E.T costume. It was the sort of pride that Nelson must have felt when taking his fleet to battle, unbeatable that’s what I was. One of England’s greatest heroes. Three years on the trot, I’d retire after this, go on the interview circuit, write my memoirs. The school’s greatest ever fancy dresser, they’d name buildings after me. I stepped onto stage and drew gasps from the crowd, I even heard gentle sobbing from the front row, probably. That’s it, I’d done it the room nearly rippled with anticipation. Now, surely all that were left were formalities … until she showed up. Struggling up the steps she came like some drunken mongoloid, one box, no arm holes and the crappiest paint job since Rolf embarrassed the queen. A rubik’s fucking cube which could only have been painted by Joey Deacon, my twin brother could have done better and I don’t even have a twin brother. I suppose it goes without saying that the greatest travesty of justice then occurred, she took the book token and with it spilt my milk of human kindness. My only saving grace was that my full face mask, with the uncanny ET likeness, captured my tears (in my mother’s used tights)

Next year my sister won as Princess Leia, it was a hollow return to form. Too late to rescue me from a lifetime of hatred.

And to this day I still hate you, I hate you all, just go, leave me alone you bastards.
(I'M JACK MEADOWS, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 16:44, Reply)

Hitler+school= suitable?
Recently,i went to a school fancy dress thing dressed as a bondage style hooker,complete with a whip (which got confiscated) and my friend went as Hitler. Cue small Jewish child crying. And my friend getting booed everytime he walked past certain groups of people. Silly fucker.
(Miharu, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 16:33, Reply)

cowboys and indians
my friend's dad is your original multi-millionaire so her 21st was held in a swish marquee on their tennis courts, just outside their stables. the theme was cowboys and indians, and easily the two best prizes were...

... the guy who who came as a full-on WIGWAM (he couldn't fit anywhere except right in the middle of the marquee, but about 5 cowgirls were inside it with him at any given time)...

... and the joker who came in a white dinnerjacket as an indian waiter!

but the best bit was that my date got horrendously drunk, and passed out in the outside toilet. no, don't worry, not another guy who shat himself, but when he woke up at about midday the following day, head pillowed on a toy gun, he was understandably very confused as to where he was. he staggered outside to look for me, only find my friend hosing down her horse's legs. he seriously thought the party was still going and that someone had put way too much effort into the cowboy fancy dress...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 16:30, Reply)

Princess Leia
Having always been a Star Wars fan I relished the opportunity as dressing up as my favourite feisty heroine.

I duly made up a nice white outfit, with white moon boots, white trousers, white polo neck top and a homemade utility belt (of which I was very proud).

After a night out on the tiles we ended up in a local nightclub which unfortunately had UV light. Needless to say I was lit up like a lighthouse, I was glowing so much people nearby had to squint.

Great outfit though.
(Sameranda, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 16:20, Reply)

Brouhaha
Another University party saw someone in fancy dress gatecrash an after S.U. stoners party.

Simon (the host) opened the door to someone dressed head-to-foot in tinfoil, who pushed past him and then ran amok in the house knocking people over, smashing things and literally bouncing off the walls and anything or anyone else that got in his path.

During the deserved beating he got he cried out that he had come as a Microwave element and though that it would be funny.

We carried on with the kicking
(Catchag "You know!....For Kids!", Fri 13 Jan 2006, 16:14, Reply)

A couple of years ago...
some of my lady friends were invited to a Barbarella party. A week or so was invested in assembling suitable Jane Fonda-esque costumes.

The night of the party out they all troop (un)dressed up as various nympho aliens, hilarious bus ride fighting off the advances of the cream of South London's manhood (no pun intended) and they arrive at the party...to a bunch of spods all sitting round in normal clothes watching Barbarella on video. Laugh - I nearly shat!
(nattyplatypus Is flippin eck, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 16:12, Reply)

well all mine are originally very sexy 'til I got into them
Sexy Fairy
Sexy Tiki Girl
sexy beaten housewife
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 16:02, Reply)

Halloween
I went to a Halloween party about two years ago as Toby the serial killer from Hollyoaks. It was a fucking good costume, complete with spanner, hoody and 'Dan's Pitstop' T-shirt.

Only one person at the party knew who I was.
(jimmy_stavros, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 16:01, Reply)

My friend's Dad...
...once went to a costume party dressed as a used tampon.

He wore a white sheet (with red paint tipped over it) on his head and had a rope coming out from between his legs.



Glad he's not my dad....
(quis, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 15:54, Reply)

Gary Glitter Costume
Wish i'd thought of this:

www.fatdrunkandstupid.com/chobb/gary_glitter.jpg
(i anglepoise, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 15:51, Reply)

Uni Xmas Partay
As a change of going to an Xmas party dressed as the usual Santa, Elf, drunk student etc, Our hall of 13 Men decided to go as Jeebus and his 12 disciples. We all bought white bed sheets, and tea towels, while the person nominated as Jeebus himself made a leafy crown. (on reflection, he huge fuck off cross would have been a nice touch

We spent the whole walk from halls to SU following our beloved leader, before entering the Bar in single file. Now, while in a group of 13, every goes: "aaah, the 12 disciples and Jesus", and you are admired for the clever student we are. When you are standing on your own, or in a small group (anything less than 13), people stare at you like a twat and ask 'who are you supposed to be?'
(jimmy_stavros, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 15:45, Reply)

I once went to a halloween party
with a box of cornflakes & a plastic axe
Yes, I was a cereal killer! Hahahaha...
I am soo sad
( chunderbunny lacking humus since, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 15:37, Reply)

Son of God
The last fancy dress party I went to I ended up dressing as Jesus. We decided to wow the punters by going down the local all kitted out in our costumes. I walk in, guess who's sitting at the bar? David Icke.
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 15:32, Reply)

Fruity
Well once my dad made me a "state of Florida" costume, consisting of a piece of foam with oranges glued precariously to it.








Oh no, that was Lisa Simpson.
(theneuroticpanda, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 15:31, Reply)

10th grade prom
Me with my zipper open.

I...I can't talk about it....
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 15:27, Reply)

Cub Party
At my cub scout Xmas party we would have a fancy dress comp where the best costume would recieve a big mystery present. Which was usually a big box of sweets.

My mum got a bit carried away with this and took ages making my costume each year and on one occasion made me a fantastic robot outfit which was basically a silver cat suit, with a box on the front for my workings, and a space mans helmet. I am a boy by the way.

on this occasion just before the comp started, we all had to parade and the best was chosen by akela (spelling?), i really needed a wee and the flaw in the suit was that once assembled there was no way out. I begged her for five minutes to help me out but as she had stitched the helmet on it meant tearing the thing to pieces, there was wires and all sorts, and she wanted me to parade first.

I held on for as long as I could but nature won and I ran to the loo and basically filled the legs with , well you know, and hid for a while before asking someone to get my mum.

I'm sure she still blames me as I was never made a costume again.
( Smashy only 35 years of work to go :), Fri 13 Jan 2006, 15:25, Reply)

custard cream
about 12 ,I was going to a fancy dress party, my mum thought she could make me a good outfit, it consisted of me sandwiched between 2 large oblong pieces of brown foam, with a hole cut for my face

volia 'a custard cream' , with me as the cream.
(salleyman, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 14:47, Reply)

Straight Outta Guantanamo!
www.maiga.net/_party21feb/03.jpg

Walking home from pub through very muslim bit of East End with that lot on was fun...

Best I've ever seen was one of my medic chums who once went as Our Saviour, firmly attached to a wooden cross with its arms hinged to allow manipulation of drinks and fags. Nice...
( PastorSauce : easy on the anchovies..., Fri 13 Jan 2006, 14:45, Reply)

Fancy dress related injury
One of my ex's mum was a seamstress and had been in business a whole year. To mark this occasion she got a load of people to dress in her costumes and parade about the town. There were so many fun costumes to choose from but to I was asked to wear what can only be described as a tudor fop outfit and in an attempt to score browny points accepted. The ex's brother picked the gorrila suit and spent a fun afternoon running around, climbing up things and picking fleas from passers by. His missus picked another period costume with a long flowing dress which sadly some stepped on the back of, got pulled off there feet and smased up most of there front teeth leaving a nice bloody pile of tooth bits on the floor. My gorilla envy ended a little later as well after the ex's brother removed the monkey suit and poured out a large amount of sweat.
( The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 14:44, Reply)

for racetraitor
racetraitor,

It's just a suggestion but your stories would be a lot more interesting if they actually had a point.
(Let's all have an asbo, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 14:35, Reply)

Nun
This last Halloween, I was sitting on my scooter in Hongdae Playground in Seoul, Korea. I was dressed normal, as were my friends.

Then three Kiwis arrived and came over to us. One guy was dressed like a nun and they were all drunk. Anyway, the dude in the nun costume was especially hostile. He laughed at my scooter and said "Is that your Harley?" He kept getting in my face about it, and we were all annoyed. I was with a couple Aussies who said they hate Kiwis, and I could see why. This guy just kept giving me shit about my scooter. It's not great, but who'd pick a fight over that? I grabbed my chain lock and stepped back, waiting to see what he'd do. Anyway, he didn't do anything, and he left. If I had been drinking that night, I probably would've hurt him pretty bad.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 14:14, Reply)

A chair
One Hallowe'en found me moving out of an apartment. After doing our best to cart all the unwanted stuff to the local shelter, we had only an armchair left. But we were running out of time, friends were wanting to head out to the club - and I hadn't given a thought to a costume.

So I tore the stuffing out of the chair back, cut a neck-hole in the top of the back, broke the arms loose... and wore it.

It was heavy as f*ck. But there were bonuses - I got free entry to the club, free drinks from the barstaff and random strangers, centre of attention all night, and a nice young lady decided to sit on my lap.

And for once I didn't feel self-conscious about being a crap dancer. Not many boogying chairs around to be compared to.
(Mori, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 14:04, Reply)