My hat
My green fisherman's cap, which had been dipped in the Indian, Pacific and Atlantic oceans as well as the north sea. I loved that hat.
(weirzbowski, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 13:47, Reply)

Foreskin
It wasnt so much lost as stolen - Fucking cheeky doctor. I was also told by my parents that I was going to the zoo that day. Ow fucking really - Zoo/Hospital - only Rolf Harris has an excuse for making that mistake.

And from that moment forward I deliberatly pissed on the floor - ha ha - "My aim has gone mum"
(Taco Tickler, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 13:45, Reply)

smallest vibrator?
I made a tiny vibrator using a Pager motor and a couple of button cells. It was "turned on" by twisting a tiny aluminium ring on the outside that braught a neodymium magnet closer to the micro-reedswitch that was housed inside... the body was 20mm long, and 7mm Outside diameter. I machined the body myself out of stainless steel, and the join in it was near-invisible due to all the time I spent trying to make it look solid...

It was in honesty, a symphony of cutness.

It took bloody HOURS to make it, and I only did it to find out how small it could be done... and what's more, it worked SO well!!! it was so light that even the tiny motor made it hugely powerful. it was perfect for .... erm.... stimulation small parts of female anatomy. she LOVED it.

but I Lost it.

have no idea where.... Maybe it's in the bottom of a washing machine somewhere.

I was pissed about it... but it was nothing like her wrath....
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 3 Dec 2004, 13:41, Reply)

Sunnies
My coolest ever pair of sunglasses. Prescripton, they were. Cost a fortune. The funny thing was, they went missing with frightening regularity and would then turn up in a totally random place.

Once, after being sunnie-less for three months, I found them in a photocopy shop in Cambodia. Their last known location was on the dashboard of a Silver Bird taxi in Jakarta about five months ago.

They are recognisable by their incredibly dented and scratched metal case that saved my kneecap from being scraped along a Timorese road during a midnight motorbike crash.

Bless them... farewell...
(junglejim, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 13:37, Reply)

I lost where I was
I went out for a walk to take some photographs down at the canal about 2 miles from my house.

I followed the usual path I'd take when I spotted a footpath sign that pointed towards the canal.

Being intrigued I decided to follow it thinking it may get me to my destination that little bit quicker.

Oh how wrong I was.

In my best shoes (OK, so I only have 3 pairs, but they were still the best of the 3), I found myself walking down the shittiest, muddiest path you have ever seen.

I managed to only get caked in mud up to just past my ankles, when I saw a fallen metal fence that may help me cross some of the mud without getting stuck in it up to my knees.

I put one foot on it. It started to move. Rather rapidly.
Within mere milliseconds I found myself arse-first in 6 inches of thick, freezing cold mud.

I thought to myself how could this get any worse?

Then, respite from the mud path; a wide concrete road leading down towards the canal.

Strangely it went through these large metal gates, but being cold and actually wanting to get down to the canal to take some photo's I ignored them.

I ended up inside the compounds of a water treatment plant, with a rather large camera, covered in mud. I must have looked like some sort of terrorist.

Having not found a way down to the canal (despit being able to see it through the fence), I decide that it's probably a good idea for me to leave there, before I'm arrested.

I get back to the gates. They're shut. And padlocked. And a Yorkshire Water van can be seen heading off into the distance.

The bastards had locked me in.

Cue 4 hours of hanging around waving at the CCTV camera hoping that someone would come and let me out.

There was finally some hope however when I spotted an old man walking his dog. I shouted over to him and he walked across towards me and asked me if I was OK.

He then calmly showed me that there was another open gate about 20 yards from where I was stood.

Bollocks.
(There is no Mr Spoon, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 13:32, Reply)

Like the
earlier answer about cinema tickets, I have a similar problem with tickets for the Manchester Metro. Unlike Tube tickets which are big and made of card, Metro tickets are tiny little paper bastard and mine ALWAYS goes missing immediately. Always embarrassing when a ticket inspector demands to see it and I wind up emptying all of my pockets on the floor. Only to find I've been holding it in my hand the whole time anyway...

Also pretty much everything else I own - keys, mobile, wallet, money, credit cards, food, beer, sunglasses. Naeon's Law: anything small enough to go missing WILL go missing when I need it most.
( naeonlite, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 13:29, Reply)

A goldfish
We used to have a couple of goldfish that my brother and I had won at the local funfair. One day the whole family went out and on our return we noticed that there was only one fish left in the bowl. Naturally the cat got the blame for eating Pinky (or Perky, it was difficult to tell them apart) but as there was no water around the bowl or incriminating paw prints he was let off with a stern warning.

Fast forward five years and Dad was replacing the carpet in the front room. He pulled up the carpet, then the underlay, and there on the floorboards was the remains of poor Perky (or Pinky). We've never been able to work out how he got there, possibly a failed attempt to tunnel his way to freedom?
( S tr app y, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 13:09, Reply)

self respect
work ethic

and the Snr2 singles at Sudbury regatta this summer. the course turned a corner. i didnt and ended up in a reed bed.

i won the Elite singles tho.
(magictorch, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 13:01, Reply)

A small polished opal gemstone
by putting the thing in my mouth and swallowing it. Nature ran it's course so to speak and I got it back only to lose it in the my back garden. Clearly I had a somewhat odd childhood.
(DrGonzo, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 13:01, Reply)

My tooth, whilst playing table football
Or Foozball, to the Yanks. Playing table football in a student bar is akin to playing the real thing in terms of energy used. Not only do we have a team of people to turn the little men, with one in goal, we also have 'corner tippers'. Upon a boys vs girls match, I scored a goal and jerked my head up and down in victory (I was extremely pissed. On Reef. The shame) and managed to coincide my 'down' head with the 'up' of the corner-tippers. Cue me losing a front tooth.

At the dentist, I said it was a sport-related injury. You can see the join where my fake tooth meets my real one.

We won, though!
(b3tasux, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:54, Reply)

I lost my heart
to a starship trooper, probably Katee Sackhoff, I only recall some flashing lights, or something.
( TheCockwellInn, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:46, Reply)

I lost...
My first love to the most blatantly chav member of my high school class and had to be reminded of it everytime we'd go out and they were together. I then lost my temper to the degree that steam almost came out of my ears in a very Tex Avery fashion when she broke up with him and said "why couldn't I have gone out with someone like you instead?". Bitch. Sorry it's not very original, but them's the breaks.
(the_fracturedpope, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:42, Reply)

My memory.
What was the question again?
(Mothy, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:39, Reply)

i lost
£50 in the pub



well it was my excuse anyway......
(VashTheStampede http://www.b3ta.com/features/howtopoachanegg/, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:37, Reply)

When I was about 4 or 5 I had loads of Matchbox and Corgi toy cars
one of these was a little yellow Aston Martin DB5. I dont know how I came by it but it had been in my possession for as long as I could remember. At some point in time it went missing and I sometime used to think of it and wonder where it went. That was until last year when my dad came in from digging the garden and had unearthed it about 15 years after it went missing, caked in dirt but still in fairly good condition. I still dont know how it came to be in the back garden but it now resides in my bedroom where it is in further danger of being buried under all the bits of paper, magazines and electrical equipment I seem to hoard.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:34, Reply)

I lost
my life after a near-death experience which I had a premonition of in the good old days when I was young...
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:33, Reply)

My passport and my right to live in Britain
After clearing passport control at JFK airport my girlfriend asked me to give her my passport. My reply was "I'm not a child, I'll look after my own passport." Fatal. We carried on to Chicago and we're about to hit the town when I noticed my passport was missing... Anyway, we wandered off next day and eventually found the British consul above a Woolworths (that's another long story). They informed me that they would sort out an emergency passport and not to worry. We then headed up to Milwaukee for a few days. Just before returning to Chicago I received a phone call from the embassy claiming there was no record of me ever having a British passport! That was pretty good news to me, it meant a nice stay in the States and so I sorted out a job at a friend's company in San Francisco. But, Mrs. Goatpod wasn't impressed and insisted I press the matter with the embassy. They managed to sort the emergency passport 2 hours before I was due to fly back to the UK.
To this day I'm still not allowed to be in possession of any important documents.

Oh, and I lost the contents of my bowels once when I accidentally crossed the Algerian border and got shot at by someone...
( Goatpod, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:29, Reply)

just my dignity.
running in circles with your pants down yelling "heater!" is a great way to lose it.
(That guy with a hat., Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:26, Reply)

My missus :(
... but gained some freedom!!! :)
(FortyFour, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:20, Reply)

I lost the plot
like, totally
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:17, Reply)

T in the Park 2003
Gloriously gorgeous Scotland. Fields full of festive fun. Gallons of bottled beer kept cool in the chill Kinross air. Polyphonic Spree outdoors at sunset. Magical, wonderful weekend with many an anecdote attached to it. Unortunately, to open said bottled beer, a bottle opener was (unsurprisingly) required, the most convienient one being attached to my keys. Fast forward to the day we return and we find me being dropped off by equally-tired mates outside my front door in sunny Chester. Predictably, I find that i'd gone and left my keys in a bloody field some 250 miles away.

Oh, and I lost my lovely Grolsch bottle opener as well. Fucking Scotland.
( S Snail wore out his welcome with random precision, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 12:14, Reply)

i always lose stuff in my back pockets

( Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 11:58, Reply)

Quite a few things...
In '93 my family went to Majorca (see previous QOTW for the near-death experience I had there!) and on the flight back I took off my glasses so I could sleep with my head resting on its side without the arms cutting into my face.

Got back to Manchester Airport where my brother was waiting to pick us all up, and we were halfway back home (about 50 miles) before I realised that I couldn't actually see much in front of me. I'd just put it down to being tired, but I'd gone and left my specs in the little pouch on the back of the seat in front.


Went to Scotland earlier in the year for a family christening. Got back home after a couple of days and realised I didn't know where my digital camera was. Figured that it must have fallen out of my pocket whilst in a taxi. Provided a good excuse to upgrade to a newer model anyway!

Lo and behold, a month later I find the leather case that I used to keep the camera in - but without the camera. I'm sure I took that case with me to Scotland, so I'm buggered if I know where the camera's gone.
( GazChap, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 11:47, Reply)

let's see....
dignity, time, sense of innocence and it's all thanks to b3ta.com!
( fishsticks, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 11:46, Reply)

Cinema tickets
I just can't hold on to the little buggers. Several times now, the 10 yard walk from buying the ticket to entering the cinema has resulted in the TOTAL DISSAPPEARENCE of the ticket.

Each time I've been let in based purely on the dawning look of horror and shame on my face...

I have nothing to fear from old age, I've been senile since I was 6.
(Not very much gravitas at all, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 11:40, Reply)

My keys
Me mum once decided to take my house keys because she couldn't find hers.

I get home from school and had to wait outside to door being bitten to death by a multitude of insects for (get this) THREE HOURS.

It turns out my mum had left them under her folders. Grrr.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 11:32, Reply)

Show me the way to go home
I once did a sponsored walk with some friends and it took us 7 hours to find the first checkpoint, we finally found it at 3am (apparently a search party had gone out looking for us as midnight). Does that count?
(Modster2k, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 11:31, Reply)

My beastiality virginity
..to a donkey.

You tie the legs together, stand on a bucket and fuck the living shit out of it.
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Fri 3 Dec 2004, 11:12, Reply)