my mobile...
...down the toilet on Sunday night :-(
(me'n'my monkey, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 16:16, Reply)

A nikon F601 camera, 28-200 lens, just one week old.
I was on a ferry to france from Southampton and proceeded to get wankered with my travel buddy. I woke up the following day near the pursers cabin and waiteed for my mate who I presumed had taken it off me when pissed. No such luck. So when we got to France we just proceeded to top up, interrupted by kips on the beach.

That night, I got on the same ship going back (pure luck) and for a joke mentioned it to the barman. He then informs me that at chucking out time there were some french lorry drivers still there so he shouted at them in English, and they just upped and scarpered - leaving my Nikon under their table. He had returned it to the Purser, who then gave it back.

Lucky buggar aint i?
(Waynster James Joyce is fucking my sister!, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 16:12, Reply)

My faith in...
... human compassion while working on the meat counter at waitrose. One lady decided to try and get me fired because i was on my break.. I had to come down mid breakfast to serve the bitch who snatched the bag off me and walked off.

And beleve me, THAT AINT THE WORST
( Spam Filter Formerly known as Superdude, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 16:12, Reply)

can writ tits though.
i sm to hav lost th lttr " " on my ky board. Lucky it was'nt th lttr "t" aswll or this rally would'nt mak much sns, and i could'nt writ tits.
(Jeeves, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 16:07, Reply)

The will to live
whilst queueing for the check-out at IKEA.
(Doctor Evil, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 15:59, Reply)

Somehow
I lost the t-shirt I was wearing in the pub the other week. it wasn't till we got outside i realised i was cold.

I may have also left the plot there too.....
(lordfredatron lordfredatron, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 15:30, Reply)

Not exactly lost....
When in Cambodia I dropped my passport into the Thai embassy in Phnom Penh to arrange for a visa for Thailand which was my next port of call.

Unfortunately that night some stupid Thai Soap Star made disparaging comments about Cambodia leading to a riot and the torching of the Thai Embassy.

Cue two months in a crappy backpackers begging money and pot of fellow travellers whilst waiting for replacement documents.

Grrrhhhh
(Rudeness, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 15:29, Reply)

The Eiffel Tower
Me and a work mate (a bloke, not a bench) were on a jolly with work in Paris and we got a day off. We're staying in a hotel just round the corner from the Palais Versailles and we can see the Eiffel tower from just outside, so we decide to get in the car and drive into the city centre and go have a look.

As we approach the city centre it starts to rain, then the cloud starts to get lower until we can no longer see the Eiffel tower. No problems, think I, we've got a road map somewhere in the car. I pull it out and start working out directions.

A couple of hours later, we're on a motorway heading towards Rouen, absolutely miles outside Paris. Turns out it was a map of the Paris underground, not the road system.

We never did find it. I'm sure it's there somewhere. Anyone spotted it?
( fozberry, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 15:26, Reply)

My "boon"
I was probably about a year or two old when this happened. My parents decided to ride their bikes out to some nice family restaurant, with me in the baby seat.

Well, since I was a wee little one, the nice people at the restaurant gave me a balloon. I loved that balloon. It was like the toddler equivalent of a diamond ring.

So I'm riding on the baby seat of my mom's bike back home, basking in the presence of my precious balloon. All of the sudden, another biker came by and crashed into us.

I could've had a broken bone or serious internal bleeding, but that didn't phase me at all. I watched in agony as my balloon floated away, and I started bawling.

The whole rest of the ride home, I was crying "My boon! My Boon!" My parents ran around town all night trying to find me another balloon. But I'm sure it wouldn't be the same.
(pk, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 15:23, Reply)

I lost my job......
All because this married bird wanted me to sort out her nannies work visa in return for a knee trembler.
The bird turned out to be preggers with a li'l bastard and even though the courts say I've got the right to see the kid, it remains a physical impossibility.
( dogfish, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 15:18, Reply)

for some bizzare reason
All my green coloured Gamecube discs have vanished, thats 3 ganmes!
Oh and all my sock except my knee-high stripy ones (which I have about 3 pairs) have disapeared too
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 15:14, Reply)

lost
just found out ive lost my disc with some course work thats got to be handed in in 1 hour 15 mins time.
oh sh!t.
(funkie, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 15:11, Reply)

the plot.
..
( bierbelly, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 15:02, Reply)

Just remembered!
A friend of mine went to the local beach wearing her couple-of-days old New Rock boots which she loved.
I have no idea how but somehow she went home without them bare foot, forgetting them on the beach. Dumb cow never saw them again
I swear this is true
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:59, Reply)

Poor teddy.
I lost my teddy bear down the gap between the train and platform when I was about 4. The train driver was our next door neighbour who hated our family and he refused to get teddy for me. It broke my heart to see teddy's poor little head and body laying mangled on the track after the train had gone.

I exacted sweet revenge when I was about 11 by breaking into his caravan with a collection of dog turds. My mate wanted me to scrawl "Remember Teddy?" in excrement on his windscreen, but I decided that this would rather disrespectful to Teddy's memory so we settled for making smiley faces out of dog crap in the drawers and sink.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:42, Reply)

On holiday
when I was about 13-14, I went to the island of Kehkehna (or something like that) off the coast of Tunisia.
One evening, me and my sister were bored with the evening entertainment so we borrowed the room key to change our shoes so we could muck about on the beach. Put the keys in one of the shoes which at one stage that evening we kicked over.
Nevery found those bloody keys, Cue screaming mother, 2 hours searching in the dark and a bill for a replacement lock.
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:36, Reply)

my car - sort of
went with the misuse to ikea leeds (yeah - i know, sexual blackmail), parked up the ax and spent a thoroughly awful day trawling round looking at all the sh!te they offer, including a wonderful (!) lunch in their "restaurant". Mission accomplished, it was out to the car with armfuls of cheap tat - hmm the key seems to be jammed, cue lots of swearing and eventually a crowd of helpful people trying to slide all sorts down the door and window to open it. Cue couple walking up with a WTF, proceed to open THEIR red ax giving me a mouthful of abuse before driving off. Must embarassment and 2 rows up sat waiting for us was our car.....

Oh the shame, but the small crowd all thought it rather amusing......
(Aleister Crowleys Badger Nothing to see here, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:36, Reply)

A mate of mine
Had a pair of hampsters in a small student flat. one day he decided to clean the cage out, and whilst doing this the pair escaped.

Several of us spent an hour hunting the missing hamsters and managed to recover one. We then all went off down the pub leaving him to continue the search. After closing time we all went back to his flat to find that the lights no longer worked, so we trooped down to the cellar and replaced the fuse, then went back up to his flat. The reason the fuse had blown was that he had one of those electric fires with the plastic fake coal underneath that was lit up by lightbulbs. Deciding that the only place he hadn't looked was inside the fire, he decided to turn it on so that the hamster, if it was inside would cast a shadow against the plastic coal. What he had forgotten was that he had run out of lightbulbs a couple of weeks earlier and so had knicked one from inside the fire. By sheer chance the hamster happened to have one foot on the live terminal inside the fire.

240v and hamsters does not mix.
(ceebs, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:34, Reply)

Lost
I lost every last one of my baby teeth with the help of cadburys chocolate eclairs. Bite down hard on one and open your jaw fast, and any loose teeth come right out
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:33, Reply)

Not me, but someone was telling me the other day that their mate...
... lost a PC. He knew it was in his house somewhere. He could ping it. But he simply couldn't find it.

Dunno. Amused me.

EDIT: Apparently this story is from some IRC site. Oh well. As I said, "a mate told me it."
( rob, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:32, Reply)

And another lost johnny
Fuckin' things. This was at a party, same girl as earlier. We nip off to the toilet for a quick shag, except I can't find the condom afterwards. Never mind, thinks I, and goes back to party. I actually found the thing a while later hanging from the back of my waistband. It seems I hadn't noticed it when I put my keks back on, and it had been hanging there filled with sex wee for some time
(he who walks, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:32, Reply)

$4000...
...I had four thousand dollars for a house deposit in a large wallet/manbag type thing. I picked my wife up from work in Goodna - one of the roughest suburbs west of Brisbane - and after about 20 minutes driving I realised I didn't have the wallet anymore. I had left it on the car roof and drove off and suffice to say it wasn't there now. I drove back to Goodna like a bat out of hell and on approaching the suspected "drop zone" I could see it laying on the roadside. I also saw a rather large intoxicated idigenous gentleman going to pick it up so I tooted the horn to startle him and parked on top of the wallet to stop the fucker from picking it up. He was not best pleased as he now claimed my car was parked over "his" wallet. We argued a bit and he went to thump me but as he did so one of his family/friends/drinking buddies came up and belted him for "always causing trouble".
Not one dollar missing from the wallet either.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:30, Reply)

Another lost johnny
Berkeley Hunt, similar thing happened to me. Aged 17, girlfriend comes round to stay with me for the first time. We sleep in the same room, have plently of "hide the sausage" type fun. All good.

Some years later I was told that my step-mother had found a condom under the bed. Not just used, but used then tied up in a knot so basically she found a bag of my spunk.

Fuck it though, I have no shame
(he who walks, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:26, Reply)

I lost my arse
to a starfish trooper
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:21, Reply)

credit cards and boss....
or so i thought....after a night on the jaageremister...day after i woke up had a hotel sink full of vomit, and another work colleague on the sofa, and no recollection of previous events....went to work, had look in wallet to realise i had lost my credit cards. not a biggie, but i was in atlanta, and had been given an advance only obtainable using those credit cards....so i called the bank in sunny england and cancelled them. two minutes after cancelling them i found them stuffed right at the back of the wallet "safely". boss had been with us that night...still hadn't turned up to work, called his mobile, home etc...eventually turned up at 11am,...he;d found himself face down in an alley 100 yards from his apartment. no more jaagermeister for me you'd think....well not so...but there you go...
(spankywerx, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:21, Reply)

My house
OK, just moved to a new house, didn't drive at the time so had just been ferried their by my girlfriend. My girlfriend was at work and I had to go there with her uncle to drop off new washing machine. Couldn't find it anywhere. Stumbled accross it by accident when looking for pub.

*100% true
(Punn-isher, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:16, Reply)

my sister...
but dont worry - she's still alive and well!
me and my sister went to a big concert at knebworth park about 8 years ago. bands all day. during one of the first 2 bands i went to the lav, only to come back and find that the crowd, who were previously seated on the ground, had all stood up and rushed forward.
thus completely losing any chance of finding my 16 year old sister. this was before the days of mobiles, so i spent the rest of the day 'enjoying' the bands on my own, eventually meeting my sister at 11.30pm next to the coach which was taking us home.
she burst into tears.
(littlerichardsmustache, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:05, Reply)

Condom
used
at a party
at my mate's grandmother's
in granny's bed






Fortunately, granny found it for me, under her pillow, when she returned from her holiday, two weeks later.
(michael_k_vegfruit, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 14:00, Reply)