baaaaaaaaaad cakes!!
my brother and cousin made some cakes for us with a special ingredient - my mate matt threw most of his stuff away (it was big lumps)and had a pleasant time - i just ate the damn thing and i felt ill for days. that night my mouth felt like it was so dry that no enough water would ever quench my thirst - i also couldnt actually go to sleep. for days after i felt ill and washed out. not the sort of "fun" i had expected!
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Late night smoke
Three or four of us were sitting in an open topped car in a car park somewhere around Box Hill. We had smoked our fill of Thai sticks (remember them?) and were utterly smashed.

A police car drew up alongside us and an officer got out. The conversation went like this: “Evening lads, what are you doing up here?”, “We’re just watching the moon and the stars!” “Yeah it’s really peaceful isn’t it, those clouds are so nice, the shape is just perfect – Oooh look there’s a pixie over there!”

We all looked and the policeman drove off sniggering!!
( Vambo, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 16:18, 2 replies)

Never really did much for me...
I smoked a fair amount of weed at Uni and it really never had much of an effect other than making me sleepy. I remember being sat in someone's lounge once where we'd been smoking all afternoon. They were all in hysterics and having the time of their lives. I was just feeling a little bit sleepy, but otherwise totally unaffected.

Also, coke. A few years back I was spending a lot of time with people who did a fair bit, and at parties, inevitably a mirror would end up coming out along with a stack of coke. I would have a go to be polite and, originally, out of curiosity. It really wasn't doing much for me though. Yes, I felt a rush, and better with better quality drugs, so I could sort of see the appeal, but it felt more like something to drive me along, rather than something which made me have a good time. I could understand why over-worked bankers might take it, but it wasn't making me have a better time on a Saturday night, and I couldn't help noticing that I was sat in a room for hours with people I liked and we were all progressively behaving more and more like utter cunts.

Ecstasy, tried once, felt good, but not really my scene. LSD? Not interested in the slightest, thanks, especially as there's the potential for it to be terrifying (I am slightly scarred by my dad's stories of bad acid trips in the Seventies). Ditto any of the stuff people do nowadays that also functions as horse tranquiliser, chrome-wheel cleaner, etc. Heroin? Hmmm...

I generally just politely refuse if I'm ever offered anything nowadays. Some people react a bit funny and think I'm being sanctimonious. I'm not - I'm not especially bothered what you like to get up to if it doesn't harm me. I'm just extremely lucky that the drugs which I do very much enjoy - booze and tobacco - are legal and readily available. I'm not going to argue that makes me a better person, but it does save money and time...
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 16:18, Reply)

*Massive drugs warning*
I have to admit I am a bit partial to a bit of weed occasionally, when I say occasionally I mean at least once a week...ahh who am I kidding, o.k. every night if possible. I just prefer it to alcohol.

Recently I have noticed that the street value has risen and a lack of reliable contacts in my area has made it a real pain in the arse to get. This in mind me and a few mates have taken it upon ourselves to find decent contacts in Mecca (Amsterdam) that can deliver it directly through our doors. My mate got his first order through last night and muggins had to go round and help him decide if it was kosher. Best smoke I have had since I last visited Mecca, we were giggling like school girls at Arsenal beating some random team 6-0 and I’m a Spurs fan........sorry for the lack of decent story, just chuffed I’m not lining the pockets of crims anymore and getting Dam quality shit...Woot!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 16:14, Reply)

The 'Dam 2010 (unfinished)
The guys at work are trying to arrange a trip to the 'Dam this year.

Some prize pillock has added "No children, partners welcome".

He doesn't understand what's wrong with this.

Discuss.
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 16:08, 15 replies)

The 'Dam 2000 (Part II)
The hotel has piped films. In two hour slots.

Some films are longer than two hours, so will cut off when the slot finishes.

One night they show GATTACA and Titanic back to back.

Never saw the end of either, but saw the starts at least three times.

(Spent over £300 on room service, I seem to remember)
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 16:05, 2 replies)

The 'Dam, 2000.
In a bar, having had plenty of nice shmokes.

My friend turns to me and declares "We can't stay here, I haven't got TB!"

I look at him bemusedly.

He points at a sign on the wall... "CONSUMPTION REQUIRED".

My head asplode.
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Drugs and music don't always mix, but cheese if you've got it.
1) The Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" reminds me of cheese. If you're smoking anything herbal, I recommend a good hard cheese, such as a strong cheddar.

2) LSD made me talk complete bollocks (situation normal there, so nobody could tell I'd taken it) and then for a whole week every song sounded like "Gimme All Your Lovin'" by ZZ Top. Cue minor "flashback?" trauma the following week when I heard it in a club.
(barbedwiretumbleweed Fast 'n' Bulbous!, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:46, 8 replies)

What is this? Tobacco or Pink Floyd?
First year at Uni.

Split up with girlfriend from home, got back do my digs and had the fab idea, in my pretty depressed state, of getting stoned and watching The Wall with some mates.
About half way through I had an almighty whitey and ran back to my room, where I proceeded to look in the mirror and see my face melting, like that bloke in Poltergeist.

I don't know whether it was the emotional trauma, the film or the drugs... but I continued to do two of the three for a good few years after.
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:37, 1 reply)

I'm not a lolmassivedrugs type person.
I've had the odd toke here and there, but I don't have any bad habits beyond smoking and the odd beer. Although when I was at university, I was a little more uptight- wouldn't touch anything at all. I didn't even like being in the same room as people smoking dope, in fact.

This attitude however mellowed as time went on, until one day someone invited me to try a windmill. I'd never had one of those before, and the effects were quite pleasant. That is, until the coughing fit kicked in. Quite a large one in fact. When I thought I was done, I decided to have a drink of water to soothe my now rather sore throat. And then, time slowed down into that mental state commonly known as the onosecond. Imagine the scene- in front of me is a large Irish rugby player known for his temper. Behind him, a light switch. In my lungs, a cough was rising. And my mouth was full of water, and it wasn't going to be swallowed.

To this day, I still don't know why I wasn't pasted to within an inch of my life.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I hate people who take drugs
customs men for example.
(Falco, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:33, 2 replies)

Paranoid
My mate Elle had a ginger kitten named Poppy. Once Poppy managed to reduce one of our drugged up mates to a blithering wreck.
She was so paranoid that the cat was watching her every move and wanted something from her, that she wouldn't leave the room incase Poppy followed her.
I've never seen anyone so terrified of a kitten before.
(FootOfTim, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I done a drugs in my mouth once
FACT!
( mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:31, 7 replies)

No homo!!
A tuesday night in february. Two mates giving each other back rubs, high on MDMA, using "I can't believe it's not butter!" as massage oil.
Seemed the normal thing to do at the time...
(snordfjord Cranky...like a crank!, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:31, 1 reply)

Apologies
For the completely shameless Pea, from when I was about 15.


My drug paraphernalia
When I got home from a nice kick about in the park one Saturday in the summer, my mum was waiting for me, sat at the table, stern faced with a small item in front of her on the table.

'Sit down, you're father's on his way home. I want to ask first of all is there anything you're doing that you want to tell us about?'

Shit! I'm mentally tallying up everything that I've done as a 15 year old male. It's a bit. Nothing too bad. I'm racking my brains. Drinking? smoking? Weed? Porn!? Shit. I'll bet it's smoking. Fuck. My dad's a vigilant anti smoker...

'Ummm. No. What's up?' I said, eyeing the offending item and taking a seat opposite. Weighing up my options I considered confessing to something and hoping that was it. 'Sorry, but yes most of the phone bill was me looking at smut and wanking into a stupor' didn't seem like a good route to go down... 'let's see how this plays out' I thought.

'I was cleaning your room earlier and found this' She pushed the item towards me, still solemn faced. 'I know you've been smoking drugs, your father and I are both very upset'

Fuck, fuckety-fuck. FUCK! Anything but the weed. Smoking I'll get lectured for, but the weed will see me really fu... Hang on....

'Ermm. What do you think this is mum?'

'It's a hash pipe Scrumpy. I wasn't born yesterday.'

'You mean a kazoo mum....?'

'....... What?'

At this I picked up the 'hash pipe' and walked off, humming 'Crosstown Traffic' (If I was quicker at the time I would have gone for 'Purple Haze').

I heard my dad piss himself about 30 seconds after he came steaming through the front door...
(Scrumpy does not negotiate with terrorists,, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:30, 2 replies)

My brother told me of his mate
who took acid, then realised he had to bike home from Scarborough. On the way back to Hull, he ran off off the road, narrowly avoiding being eaten by this:

maps.google.co.uk/?ie=UTF8&ll=54.147758,-0.259209&spn=0,0.054846&z=14&layer=c&cbll=54.148054,-0.25968&panoid=_6eDRGYybdX49av5ibBSaA&cbp=12,148.16,,1,2.7
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

McDazzle reminds me...
... of a schoolfriend who, having taken a trip during the lunchbreak, screamed and ran out of his biology class because the teacher had just turned into a lion.

He spend the rest of the afternoon sitting on the lawn, deep in conversation with the daisies. My favourite detail about this is that noone - staff or students - batted an eyelid at the whole episode.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:13, 1 reply)

First time on mushrooms
Was in halls at uni, pardon the cliché, and it was about 9pm. Group of us took them together and then waited for a while, nothing seemed to be happening. Mate 1 decided to go and get some cigs from Tesco's express round the corner.

Moving on 1hour and he hasn't returned. For the rest of us the drugs had well and truly kicked in, Mate 2 was definitely a foetus on his bean bag and my QOTSA poster was 3D. We all got a bit worried about missing Mate 1 so decided to venture out to find him.

He was in Tesco's staring at a honeydew melon, where he had been for the past hour.
(McDazzle Knows not what he does, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:07, 2 replies)

I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me, you fuckin' with the best!
Is there anything more boring than drug stories, every young Herbert thinking it’s some sort of magical new world that only they’ve discovered and they must tell the rest of mankind about it.

OK, here’s my story.

I was a small time but steady user of drugs throughout my youth. During this time a mate of mine knew a man who needed to get his hands on 50 grams of speed quickly. I new a man who was selling, so I thought I could step in as middle man and skim a few quid profit.

I popped into the dealers house to pick up the 50g, already wrapped in deals. It was a weekday morning because I had taken a half day off work to attend court for non-payment of poll tax. My first ever court appearance.

There were quite a few people ‘up’ that day, and there was a little queue to get in to the court. I joined it, and soon more people joined behind me. On getting through the door I could see the cause of the hold up. There were a couple of coppers searching people.

Just two people in front of me…

“I didn’t know they searched everybody” I idly thought to myself “I suppose they have to….nutters and stuff”

One person to go

“They’re being really thorough, making them empty their jeans pockets and everything” rambled my brain…

Nearly finished the last person before me.

“OHJESUSFUCKINGCHRISTNONONONONONONONONFUUUUUUUCK”

The bag of wraps in my coat pocket suddenly felt as big as a house brick “fuck fuck fuck you dumb fuck….Oh I’m going to be a laughing stock….FUCK FUCK”

It was my turn to be searched, I had the time it takes to make the two steps to the beckoning policeman to come up with a plan. As I reached him I took off my coat, held it in one hand then assumed the ‘frisk me’ pose and waited, heart pounding. After the frisk he asked me to turn out my coat pockets, and this is where my plan became extra cunning. I turned out all the pockets APART from the one with the drugs in it.

Satisfied with my performance I was waved through to the counter where I was supposed to enter my name and address into a book, but discovered I’d lost the ability to write anything more than a shaky line.

Still, I made about 20 quid.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:01, 3 replies)

I once
had a really bad throat and drank a whole bottle of benylin in a day. That stuff makes your tongue sticky.
(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 14:56, Reply)

The first thirty-three times I took acid were great. I was in control. could even come down whenever I wanted, simply by clicking my fingers.

The next time was my last. it started out fine, me and my chums were having a great time. I made them all laugh when started munching on some torch-bulbs. Then it went weird. I clicked and clicked but couldn't come down. I panicked. I sent them all outside and I started to go upstairs and bumped into myself coming back down.

Then some wooden prickly guy I've never met made a dodgy Pink-Floydesque album out of my hell.
Cheers
Brian
(f_rev, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Pills and KFC
Hello, first post (ever).

3 years ago, me and some mates were out one night in Brixton, our sole intention was to get smashed and that usually meant one thing - pills. So, we got what we needed from a trusted source, and made our way to the club but not before getting some food. I have a huge appetite when it comes to food and I cannot go out anywhere at night time without filling my guts first. I duly wolfed my zinger tower burger down, and then - and I'm blaming the whole incident on this - when my mate went outside for a fag, I devoured the remains of his zinger tower burger, fried, and cookie, whilst he peered through the window, laughing at my greed. Fast forward 4 hours and I'm feeling pretty wired - very wired, in a hot sweaty Living Room, and surrounded by other hot sweaty people who all looked fairly normal compared to how i felt. At this point my stomach lurched and I panicked - i either quelled the uprising in my guts or i sprinted to the toilet. I did neither and instead I let forth a torrent of KFC vomit straight at the bloke in front of me. At this point I should've received a beating but, of all people, the bouncer ushered me out the back with a friendly "mind how you go". 30 mins later I felt great and returned to the club, my friends, and a big empty space on the dancefloor.


Length? About 2ft before impact.

PS - I do far less drugs these days but I am able to eat a full meal whilst off my chops, much to the chagrin of others around me.
(superdanpl, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 14:46, 2 replies)

The week I turned into a zombie
When I was almost 19, I had an epileptic seizure. I went to hospital, they took blood, X-rayed my chest (a common procedure on anything apparently) and took pictures inside my head. Nothing doing, so they sent me home with some tablets. Phenytoin.

My body didn't like Phenytoin. It made this dislike known to me by causing my skin to go manky. I came out in an all-over rash and the glands in my neck swelled up. I had a mild fever, ached a lot and generally felt very run down. I looked and felt like I had a mild case of mumps and measles at the same time but this was highly unlikely, because I had had both of those as a child. But the skin went funny on my hands, my feet and on my back and it began peeling. Not peeling as in sunburn, it resembled the peeling bandages of a mummified pharaoh. My skin was falling off. I put this down to the effect the rash was having on my skin.

The doctor was called and said it was a side-effect of the Phenytoin, and put me onto Carbamazepine instead. The side-effects cleared up and everything was well.

About 16 years later, I clicked my way onto the Phenytoin article on Wikipedia. As I read the side effects, my blood ran cold. It appears it had induced a life threatening condition called toxic epidermal necrolysis. Essentially, the cells between the my dermis and epidermis were dying and so the outer layers were falling off as if I was shedding my skin like a snake.

Luckily it was caught early and after 5 days or so, I felt well enough to venture out although my hands still looked a bit zombie-like which was a real conversation stopper in the pub.

Here's some graphic pictures. And I mean graphic. The last picture of the hand is pretty much how mine were, and my back was going the same way too.

www.documentingreality.com/forum/f149/toxic-epidermal-necrolysis-57089/
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 14:45, 3 replies)

I did quite a lot of speed back in the day.
Really quite a lot, for days on end, sometimes. Not good.

As anyone who's done it will know, the comedown is equal and can be quite horrific - vomiting, loss of appetite, and, certainly for me, extreme paranoia. A well enough portrayed short film would be a fine anti-drugs advert.

One morning, on a bus that only had about five gribbles coming back from collecting their pensions, I got off three miles early and walked home, because I realised they were all talking about me.

Except, on sobering up, I realised they probably didn't even know was there.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 14:41, 24 replies)

Love my brother!
Hello. I'm new.
My brother, who is a year older, went out one New Years Eve and I was the sad little sister staying at home alone. Aged 16. Not many friends you see :-(
Before he left he gave me a tablet. Told me to take it, drink lots of water and pointed out his record collection. Yeh right. I was a moody goth, what did I want with all his Electro albums and 12 inches? But I was bored, so I took it. Had no idea what it was. Cue 40 minutes later, watching the Eastenders New Years special and I found myself bouncing along to the closing music. Fast forward another half an hour and I'm dancing round the lounge to the music I swore I hated, wearing nothing but a pajama top, loving everything.
Best New Year Ever.
The next day my mum told me she nearly sent their friend's daughter round to hang out with me, as she was all alone as well. Brilliant. Imagine the door being opened by a sweaty, gurning 16 year old.
And don't even get me started on the day he left me with a load of acid and nothing to do..
(Rabid_rabbit, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 14:38, 3 replies)

I went on holiday to Sorento with my wife young son last year.
There was a lot of walking and my boy got tired a lot, so I spent much of it carrying him around on my shoulders.
It was a lovely holiday; Italy is a very pretty country.

A couple of days after getting back home, I got a very painful and stiff neck. I suppose this was a result of carrying my son on my shoulders so much.
My wife suggested that I take some ibuprofen. I said that it was too painful for ibuprofen and so we went to the walk in centre of my local hospital.
It's not an A&E you understand. I wouldn't waste their time with a stiff neck. It's a special unit for when you can't get to see your doctor with a minor injury or ailment.
Anyway, they said to take some ibuprofen.
It didn't really help.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 14:36, 7 replies)

i once did LSD.
it was horrible. i was agoraphobic for 6 months and lost my job.

that is all.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 14:33, 8 replies)

Morphine
So when I was about 6, I had the genius notion to fall off of a waterslide and near enough crack my skull.
That's all I remember, but Mum said that they gave me morphine after the operation to fix it to keep me calm and stuff. (Stuff - the extent of my medical knowledge...)

Turns out Morphine makes me have panic attacks, and the doctor got pimp-slapped by a 6 year old.

Not much of a story, but I find it funny :D
( Trogdos The Raging Cuntmuffin, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 14:32, Reply)

One new years..
Myself and a bunch of mates had an awesome holiday house for 5 days or so, which we spent drinking huge amounts of beer and doing any and all drugs we could find..
One night, my best friend and I got pretty fucked up on ketamine, whilst sitting in a couple of inflatable boats on the lawn. Everyone else had gone to bed (read; greened out, passed out, mildly ODd..) so we were left to let our dug-addled minds wander. Somehow that night we decided that we'd sailed to mexico and back, and taken photos the whole way.
Coming down the next day, we showed all the photos to the rest of the group, most of which were of us laying on the lawn making funny faces, but one was of both of us in our boats, taken from the upstairs balcony. It took another couple of days until we had all got out heads straight until somebody asked; 'So wait, if you guys were the only ones up, who took this photo?'.

We never did work out who it was..
(r0ach, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 14:16, Reply)