Come and have a go if you think you've got teh skillz
beckyjsbx.mybrute.com
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 21:11, 11 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I just got back home,
my computer is on, my flatmates aren't home, and meatspin is running on my computer, currently at 8000 spins...wtf?

How are you all anyway?
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 19:26, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Swine Flu
This outbreak of flu has got me a bit hot and bothered so I've blogged about it here:

legless123.livejournal.com

I've also started a Swine Flu Spread map on Google and would like a hand in keeping it updated. If this is the start of a big pandemic it would be interesting to keep a historical record of the spread.

maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=104428261192250060997.0004686ea347fbca1d09a

For extra ghoulish interest we could use a black tag whenever one of us snuffs it....

Of course, it could be a load of old bollocks and might fizzle out in a week. Which would be nice.

But I've a feeling in my water about this one.....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 14:58, 16 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

i bought mrs spimf...
one of them there sony readers mainly because it currently comes with 100 classic novels for free

blimey its a bit good - i was very cynical when they claimed the it could be used in direct sunlight... well the sun here in dubai is fairly bright i suppose what with it being over 40 this weekend and all

clear as a bell - if fact as 'er indoors commented - its often difficult to read from proper paper in that light because it reflects the glare so in that respect its better than paper

just saying like
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 11:06, 8 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

hmmm
Given the choice what would you do?

Cut all your losses and start over somewhere far away

OR

Stay, thrash it out, loathe yourself, and drink yourself into oblivion??

I'm doing the first in 578 days time.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 26 Apr 2009, 7:47, 90 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

The cereal box game
I was at a party last night and after consuming rather quite a lot of alcohol, I was introduced to the cereal box game.

Everybody stands in a circle, around said box, and has to try and pick it up with their mouth.
Pretty easy, right? Wrong. Only your feet can touch the floor, anything else and you're out.

Once everyone has had a go, a layer gets cut off the box, and it gets smaller and smaller til the damn thing's flat on the floor.

Brilliant fun, but I pulled muscles I didn't even know I had.

I'm wondering if this game is unique to my friends, or if anyone else knows of it. If not, share your rules and experiences of odd or slightly pointless drunken party games you've played.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 21:15, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

*Reposted Spam* --- Hay there, you there, yes, you, the good looking one, yes mate, you.
Are you looking to move into the hippiest coolest part of North London, Southgate? Known as, by some, "The Beverly Hills of London", Southgate contains two major supermarkets (with one more opening up soon), LA Fitness, Olympic sized pool, Award-winning restaurants and bars, one of the first Tube Stations*, 30 minutes into Kings Cross (30m from Southgate Tube), at the best end of the Piccadilly Line, a short bus ride into Enfield Town (I won't list all the stuff there), a lovely park and all sorts of other stuff.

Facilities of the flat included are: SkyHD with all the channels, Internet connection, a cleaner every week, electricity/water/gas, roof garden**, a private member's club downstairs with big-screen sports / full sized snooker and pool tables / discounted drinks***, council tax and Much More.

Gaz me if you're interested.

Plus, as a double bonus, you get to live with Me, Gonz, From The Internet. And an Irish fella, who isn't from the internet, but a nice chap all-the-same.

* I think, well, at least it's one of the oldest.
** It's a huge balcony where we can have BBQs and chill out. Doesn't actually have any plant-like things.
*** Can't hear a thing from the flat though, so they don't disturb.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 16:17, Reply)

I know many American Republicans are sensible intelligent people
but this:


( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 16:15, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Good afternoon beutiful people.
I think today's the kind of day where a Cocktail that takes 5 minuites to make is in order. And some Thai food.

Anyone up to anything fabulous?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 15:46, 10 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Woo! Bargain happy!
So having nipped off to Tescos, not only did I get 6 bottles of half-price wine (and thus a further 5% off) but also 18 rolls of triple-velvet bogroll for £5. I shall never need to buy toilet roll again. Or at least for a good few months.

Found any bargains lately?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 14:25, 6 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Well, I fucking excelled myself last night
Was ordering a nice cocktail in a posh casino. One of those tall drinks with the flaming, hollowed out passion fruit.

On carrying potent and expensive concoction to expansive couch where my evening's companions were congregated, I manage to stumble, flaming spirit from the passion fruit sloshed onto my hand and it went Woosh!

I obviously decided that making sure I didn't drop the cocktail was a higher priority than blowing out the flame.

Now my hand is hurty:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 10:26, 5 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Right, it's that time.
I can't fucking sleep, due to my room being East-facing, and clearly not drinking enough last night.

Have a


( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 8:42, 54 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

funny times
In history class - my giant tall teacher (6'9 if you're interested) had a slideshow on the board.
The projector at hand was shit. Really really shit. It kept flickering and changing colours. So anywho the class is pretty noisy and talkative and he says - not particularly loudly and to no one in particular:

"I'm so sorry for the flashing - I just can't help it. ...... oh fuuuu-ar out that sounded bad"

And he's looked around to see if anyone heard, and the whole front row (myself included) had collapsed into laughter.

Tell me about embarrassing and unintentional puns.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 6:21, Reply)

It's raining.
heavily.

We have a tin roof and I can hear it really loudly. Looking out my window and the pond has flooded right over (as has the garden).

Winter has swung in early. YAY. :D

Tell me about things happening earlier then you expected. Yes - you can include that too, boys
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 5:21, Reply)

Be careful over there, all you loud fuckers.
www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/3056891-oh-oh-oh-not-again-woman-is-given-asbo-against-noisy-sex

You have been warned.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 17:07, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Woohoo! Friday.
Magners and lots of weed for me.

What are you having?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 16:51, 9 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Now this is odd
The relentless tedium of having to read some technical guidance at work has steered me back to page 1 of OT and re-reading some of the threads.

A few of them have obvious replies to something that al has written, and yet of his posts there are no sign.

If Arthur C. Clarke were still alive I'm sure he could devote an episode of 'Mysterious World' to this odd phenomenon.

Or maybe he's gone through everything he ever posted on OT and deleted it? In which case, that's one hell of a boredom threshold.

And with that, I think I'm off to the pub!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 16:36, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Food question
I got a 12" turkey and ham sub from Subway at lunchtime, intending to have half then (which I did, it was lovely) and half for tea.

Now I'm wondering if it would keep until tomorrow lunchtime, or will it go all soggy and crap? It's been in the fridge since I got it home.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 16:34, 8 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Today -
I converted *every single person* in my history class to the Wonderous Creation that is the Jaffa Cake.

Who have you converted lately - and to what?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 15:58, 13 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

anyone heard about this?
just had a horrible american-style email about it

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tear_of_Grief

but it's weird that it hadn't been more widely publicised...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 14:49, 17 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Oh come on people
you can do better than this. I know it's Friday afternoon, it's hot and sunny outside and you don't want to be at work, but put in a bit of effort, will you?

If you could have sex with any person in the world (not including famous people or b3tans as they've already been covered) who would it be, and why?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 14:44, 33 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

This is just sick.
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8015981.stm

I think this sort of thing should be banned. Or not. Maybe if a sportsmans were to be offerred?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:32, 14 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

In the spirit of Becky's posts this week
I'm going to ask you all questions about sex, and I'll even feign interest at your replies, in a bid to keep things as fast-moving as they were over the last few days.

So, why won't anybody have sex with you?

EDIT Oh come on, I am trying here.

Also:
Should I get the mods to give me my old name back?





Even though I'm not going to use it?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 12:13, 27 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Help needed
Software question for those who know about these things.

I need a piece of software that I can make forms with - for quoting and invoicing (doesn't have to be accounting/invoicing software). Preferably, it would be something which can be easily (and extensively) personalised. I have some templates already from another program - but they are only on PDF and not easily edited or exported to other formats, so it's not ideal.

Any suggestions? (And anybody who knows some decent, non-Sage, accounting software as well, let me know).

Cheers
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 11:29, 9 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Hi Off Topic
Yes it's me again, back to ruin the board and annoy you all.

May I just say a hearty congratulations to Becky on the death of HSH? Something I've tried and failed to do for months, so well done Becky.
Trouble with all these new posts is, where's the funny?

EDIT Also, can I just say how disappointed I am that nobody took over my old profile? Nobody even ventured in to read through the private gazzes, or post and call everybody cunts.
It's blocked now though, I guess the mods thought I was gone for good.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 11:27, 7 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

morning cuntbags
I'm at college today, so no new threads from me I'm afraid.

But tell me...

If you could commit the perfect murder and kill anyone, for whatever justification...who would it be?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 10:38, 9 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Hahaha!
If I had an iPhone, I'd want this:
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8015705.stm
( Cawl, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 9:50, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

my gf has just bought me tickets to see Clutch!
how awesome is that!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 9:35, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)