Arse
I'm doing some work at a client's, and a process that normally takes an hour or two is looking to take at least double that. It's just past four, and I estimate I won't be done until 8ish. Nothing I can do about it.

The client's in a meeting until 5, so I can't let them know until then. I either come back tomorrow, or see if they stay open until 8.

When was the last time you were let down by technology?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:14, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My mother found a breast lump last month.
but has just been given the all clear!

Can I get a Woo Yay!
( Peej, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:12, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Terror alert
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/tayside_and_central/8083494.stm

I found this somewhat amusing.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:05, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today,
I had a General Studies exam. An hour and a half of my life I'm never getting back.

I've got another one next week, what words/phrases do you suggest I should try and slip in?

Or, if your imagination has given up for the day, what's the most pointless waste of time you've done this week?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:04, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My boss is a helmet
He's a cock ... no idea what he's doing, no interpersonal skills at all, no redeeming characteristics, insistent on interfering. Despite me throwing my timesheet at him, a blow-by-blow breakdown of what I do each week (by request), my current to-do list ... and he still insists that he doesn't know what I'm doing, and is continually interfering with my methods and processes.

So here is my question ... what inventive methods of slaughter would you use on your boss, and why do they deserve it?
(hangableautobulb is an anagram of the best album ever, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:23, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How much?
your body
your soul
your favourite t shirt
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:22, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Arse
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8083479.stm
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:13, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Name YOUR tune...
...let's say you are appearing in a Twatsploitation pic ('cos let's face it, we're all twats on here).

Scene 1 - You're walking down the street, looking like Jack / Jane Shit.

What song is playing in the background?

For example, if you're an uber-cool foxy-chick type, you may decide to appear gliding down the street, looking nails-hard & cool, to the sounds of Sir Elton of John wailing 'The Bitch is Back'.

So, name your tune...
(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

All this comedy talk reminds me
My brother and I have been looking in vain for about 20 years for 'The Front Line', an early 80s sitcom about two brothers (Malcolm & Sheldon), one is a policeman, the other a Rasta.

We considered this to be hysterical viewing at the time and were consequently somewhat miffed when it was pulled. Since then I've been able to find neither hide nor hair of any footage anywhere.

Can anyone help me out?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:53, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone got any experience with high-def portable audio recorders?
thinking of getting something for recording my band so we don't forget songs as we make them up and would like some advice.

been considering one of these
www.olympus.co.uk/consumer/2581_digital_recorder_ls-10_details_18565.htm
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:44, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've managed probably 10 minutes of work so far today
good going I reckon.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:32, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Huzzah!
The bus driver drove off this morning as I was about 3 feet from the door so I had to get a taxi. Work has been horrendous this morning, so on a whim I have taken tomorrow off.

I shall venture to my local town centre to purchase delights to cook with, and I'm planning on visiting the library with a view to borrowing some Bukowski.

Any other book-related recommendations?
(TheColonel, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:27, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone any clues as to the weather next weekend after this.
The BBC weather site is too vague.

I agreed on a family barbecue for my birthday at my parents and I'm regretting it now.

My mum will get stressed at all the people traipsing on her new carpets.

My sister will get drunk and talk too much.

My dad will get drunk and be obnoxious.

I shall enjoy it for the first hour and then want to go home.

*prays for rain*

I should have just decided to go to London instead.

Halp!
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:11, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Data Rooooaaaa-is-m(ing)e charges.
£6/mb x 222mb = fuck fuck fuck fuck.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:54, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What was the last film you saw
that made you laugh so hard that you thought your brain might explode from witnessing too much funny stuff?

Mine is The Hangover, its bloomin' brillzo! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:11, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Something possibly upsetting just happened to me.
I was working away in front of the PC monitor when something vague and blurry came into my immediate view. A bit like when a stray hair gets in your eye.

Well I slowly lifted my hand catching whatever it was, and it turned out to be a teensy spider. Fucking absailed about 3 metres from the roof to land directly on my head. A few inches forward and it would've went straight into my coffee.

Just as well I don't have arachnophobia then.

So I guess the question might be: When was the last time you had a brush with serious danger!?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:09, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right, forget that other crap and listen to me.
Do you like pants?
Do you like helping other people?
If you answered no...look, don't make me fucking come round there, OK?
If you answered yes...

Some of you may know that one of our number has a love of all things pants based.
A lovely chap from b3ta has put together an album of tip top tunes to raise money to support her project making pants and helping women improve their lives.
Queen Becky of Letters has provided a link in the replies.

In order to keep her b3ta and working life separate, I have said I'll put this post up for her.

And if any of you fuckers think this is spam, here's a question instead:
WHAT'S THE BEST THING YOU COULD FIND IN YOUR PANTS?
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:00, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yesterday
I pulled up a huuuuge amount of rhubarb from my garden. Some of it is going to be made in to rhubarb crumble ice cream, but now I'm stuck with what to do with the rest. Any suggestions for using 5kg of the stuff?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:55, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What is your aim in life?
I've not really ever had a serious one. Content to bimble along the path of least resistance.

For a long time now though, my aim has been to have a Porsche by the time I'm 30. My sights have gradually lowered until will I accept practically any model and age of 911.

What is your goal, how near completion are you, or how did you royally fuck it up?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:36, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wanna feel old?
Friz's blog got me thinking.

I'm 33. In another 33 years I'll be 66. See, Big Brain Academy really does work.

My point. I've realised that if I live another 33 years it'll be a good innings. Despite recently feeling like I'm approaching middle age, thirty three years is a bloody long time to look forward to.

So, double your age, post it here and tell me if it's too long, not long enough or BLAZE OF GLORY MOTHERFUCKERS!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:17, 57 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So,
Last night I had to take my cat to the vets.
It's not very well at all. I didn't even know that cats could get AIDS.
But anyway, they had to put it down, which is fair enough, can't have him living in pain.

Which raises the question, if it's "humane" to put down an animal that's in pain, and isn't going to get better, why can't we pull the plug on coma patients and "ease the suffering" of people with terminal cancer?

Surely it'd be more humane?
( Cawl, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:12, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fry Vs Laurie
Who would win?
www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/jun/04/stephen-fry-hugh-laurie-television
Based upon these categories...
- Come to bed eyes
- Least likely to go off with your best friend
- will make you laugh
- know's what he's doing
- has a big ego
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:09, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today's very important question
You have the chance to tell someone what you really feel about them and risk failure, rejection etc... or a reply that is also equally heartfelt and returned in kind. Do you take it, or do you stay in your comfort zone and say nothing?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 9:50, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hottest week of the year so far

and I have a stinking cold. In fact it's probably some kind of animal based flu, my guess is meerkat flu.

What animal diseases have you caught?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 9:02, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You have to feel sorry for them........The BNP
I was driving home on the M25 last night, and on an overbridge near Watford stood two men, one waving a Union flag, and the other setting up a BNP banner. I did what had to be done, and flicked the Vs at them.

In response, the banner holder, returned the complement in an angry manner. Not just to me though, but also to the hundred other commuters sharing the motorway, who must have wondered about the way the BNP asked for their votes. Job done.

My question is, when will the warm feeling in my tummy go away?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 7:31, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fireworks
You know those cheap rockets that go off with a shrill whistle followed by a fairly feeble crack?

I just farted and that's EXACTLY what it sounded like.

What items of low-grade pyrotechnics have you inadvertently replicated using your digestive tract?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 23:38, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Actor
I have an email address one character away from quite a famous actor. As a result, I frequently get his email. And its fucking cool. I just got a callsheet for the BBC's Hamlet, which apparently starts filming tomorrow.

I now have the mobile numbers of David Tennant and Patrick Stewart amongst many others. I know where they live, and what time their cars arrive to pick them up etc.

I always email the senders back telling them I'm not who they think i am, but they never reply. In fact fuck it, I'm going to turn up tomorrow at, hang on,

UNIT BASE:

ST JOSEPH’S COLLEGE

LAWRENCE STREET

LONDON, NW7 4JX

Breakfast at 7.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 23:03, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I used to date a Scientologist
And she quit the cult when she realised how bent it was.

Infact... her entire family quit and changed addresses phone numbers etc and went ex-directory to escape the constant harassing phonecalls fromt he cult to call them back.

Until recently... when one of her "friends" who is still IN the cult gave out the addresses and phone numbers to the cult once more.

Is it wrong of me to post this "friends" contact details in the hope that people from all over the world send text messages warning of the dangers of giving out phone numbers?

Her details are all on the web..

all you need to know is her name...
and www.hitta.se....
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 21:04, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm starting to really miss cigarettes
I didn't smoke for two weeks, then bought a pack of 10 on saturday as I knew there'd be smokers at the bash. Haven't bought any since then and am back on the patches now.

Give me some reasons why I'm better off without the thing that's been constant in my life for the last 15 years.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 21:04, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)