Another tenuous cat post
I'm a bit grumpy this morning due to darling kitty waking me up at 6am - I have rubbish curtains and he's a greedy sod first thing in the morning - so your mission, and you don't have the option to decline it...find me the funniest photo or cartoon EVER. It can be from your facebook/photobucket/flickr or anywhere on the internet.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:45, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I prevented someone from getting arrested yesterday
at considerable expense to myself. What nice but dumb things did you do yesterday? (Zero points plus a kicking to V if he uses my name as an answer.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:45, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Somone on /talk reminded me of one of the best things I've done on the internet....
www.askabiologist.org.uk/punbb/viewtopic.php?id=988
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:44, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ok...
So the thread below is asking for sensible suggestions of how to keep cats out of your garden.

Imagine you had a huge amount of money to develop an anti-cat garden.
What would you use?
Lasers? Robot-dogs? Pit-traps?

EDIT: Prize for the best idea.

EDIT 2: Gonz wins.
( Cawl, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 9:58, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cats keep on shitting in my garden and trying to dig up my turf
I don't mind cats, normally, but if they come in or near my garden I turn into the most furious cat hater. I'd wring the fuckers necks if I could get my hands on them. Especially that black siamese cunt.

Anyone got any serious and working ways of keeping them out of my garden?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 9:34, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oooooh tough break
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/8115814.stm



Can anyone think of a less appropriate way to go out?
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 9:22, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm sitting in an office looking out on the central European rain
How's the weather where you are this morning?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 9:17, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know Mike's only got one eye
By surely he must be able to see that Vicky's after something more than a daily pinta?

Discuss.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 9:08, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I'm so stressed that my boss has given me the morning off!
How are you lot today then?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 8:38, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Urgh...
I hate getting up early... It's about 6.40am and it feels like the middle of the night!
(one-winged-angel-616 isn't as depressed as she sounds, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 6:40, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!
Yeah, like any of you care! :D
Back from my fishing vacation and the depression cloud has lifted. I am up for living life again instead of wanting to run away and crawl into a hole.
Postcards.....they will be sent out this week, and I will clean my apartment and I will buy my boyfriend a birthday present tomorrow (Wednesday).
Please understand, dear people of QOTW/OffTopic - I don't talk about my depression, although I have no problem talking about my arse issues. Everything excacerbates everything else, and I'm sure you'd rather hear about my arse than the fact I've tried killing myself twice in the last month! It's way funnier!
So yeah, I just confessed, things are fucked up but I'm crawling back up that hill, slowly and surely :)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 6:13, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New comic
No picture or anything because quite frankly I am way too drunk.

I'm kinda hoping the new comic can be found on my blog thingy.

If you've got something to say about it, say it - I am never going to frantically mold every aspect of my personality to your whim if you don't speak up.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 0:09, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I imagine this has been much awaited
My standup:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEImD_r6D8o
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 23:47, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bit empty tonight isn't it?
Where is everyone?
( Maladicta, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 20:53, 154 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It appears I have to go to Manchester for work at the end of July
Nine o'clock start, so an overnighter, I think.

Any recommendations for things to do (and I'm not falling for a stroll down Canal Street wearing shorts and a fisherman's cap either).
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 18:35, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

NHS
Mrs SLVA is a medical lab assistant in a path. lab, and processes stuff so the bio-medical scientists can analyse it. A bit pointless really because the majority of samples are done automatically on very expensive machines that break down regularly.

One of the BMSs came over to her and the other girl (L) she works with and gave them an earful for not processing 'urgents'. Fair enough, but there's a dedicated box for the urgent stuff, and apparently a BMS brought a load through from the reception, and dumped them with the rest of the regular samples.

To top it off, as well as giving her and L a hard time over something that was clearly not their fault, it was done loudly in front of the lab by a BMS who has no right doing so.

She has mentioned to me many times about various BMSs who consistently fart higher than their arses, and Mrs SLVA has an internal "yeah whatever" filter when they get imperious and interfere. But that filter is failing and she's getting fed up of being made to feel stupid and small.

There was an incident yesterday where a BMS had asked her and L to make up some NaOH solution, and they'd not been shown how. An alarming amount of people didn't know how to either and in the end, a supervisor told them to just follow the instructions on the box.
So they worked it out in the end. But then a BMS whinged about it not been in the right bottle or something.

I said they should have refused as it's a nasty chemical and they'd not received any instruction on what to do.

Then today, a BMS was complaining about a backlog, but then rather than helping out to clear the work, she instead produced a form and began doing a H&S assessment, complaining about the location of the bins and such.

Eventually, Mrs SLVA had had enough and went on her break early and phoned me in tears, saying it's not one major thing, it's loads of petty little things and the way the MLAs are looked down upon by the BMSs.

I offered to come in and cunt them in the fuck, but she declined and said she'd go see her manager. I told her to take a notebook in and keep a log of it all, and not to bottle everything up. I told her to say something to the manager ages ago, but she doesn't like to cause any problems. She's shown a damn sight more restraint than I ever could. Maybe they're all jealous because she's a very nice person and they're all evil bitches and wankers.

I feel pretty helpless because I can't go in and play merry hell at everyone.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 18:35, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've found what they did last night
They broke the fucking search function again. Great.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:50, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ok legal peepal
As I've mentioned before, I get email that should be going to some actor guy (we have similar email addresses) I get some fairly juicy stuff, Dr Who's phone number that sort of thing. Nothing that isnt the norm if youre "in the biz" but probably not for the likes of us muggles.

Is there any legal problems with seeing someone elses email? What if he decides to take action, about me 'reading his mail' when it was sent to me? I usually dont know if its for him or me until i read it. I normally just forward it on to him. He never acknowledges it or anything.

Today i've recieved an invoice for him for something that probably isnt something that should be seen by others. I could have some fun, but I wont. I'm a nice person. Do i need to cover my arse?
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:06, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Poxy Proxy is a pain in the cock-sy...

I have a funny feeling in my water (call it women's intuition) that my work proxy beating link to B3ta is about to get shut down.

I currently use sickrik.com

Previous ones I have used before have been

Barnsey.org
bighairymanchild.co.uk

But they have since been rumbled.

I also can't get Axai's proxy to work anymore - although that might have something to do with the fact that I am a thickie twat.

Should sickrik get busted - does anybody know of another way to get onto B3ta?*

My fucking-about-doing-nothing-at-work future is in your hands people.

* Oh, and anyone who says 'www.B3ta.com' = Fail.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 16:10, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I found wormulus's old home video.
www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-gadget/3-year-old-successfully-operates-heavy-machinery
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 15:53, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OMG, someone told me Wormulus is really Barry of Barry island
is it true?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 15:13, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lying bitch
www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,25675738-954,00.html
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:38, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Speaking of Top Gear
I remember hearing some time ago that one of the presenters was leaving. Admittedly I think it was that ginger tosser Chris Evans who had said he'd overheard it, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's not true.

Anyone got any inside info?

Why anyone would want to leave a job presenting Top Gear is beyond me.

Edit: Vipros' question supplemental: Who should replace him as presenter? I vote for an incredibly attractive woman who likes cars.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:59, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And on this bombshell
Do we really think the Stig is Schumacher himself? Id like to think so
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:47, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tomorrow is 24th June 2009
This means it will be the first anniversary of the day I met my first b3tan.
How shall I mark this occasion?
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:08, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Quick! Time to bitch about Beckyjsbx
The real dirt is in my reply.
( WormuIus, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 12:40, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm off to toast myself a little in the sun again
maybe read a book, maybe watch some films, drink a little beer...god it's tough being me.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 12:09, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I would just like to say,
Я не русск.
( Cawl, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 11:24, 57 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So what differences have you noticed since it's working again
it's a little faster, so I guess they've migrated the servers and the dog icon has gone.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 10:05, 119 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

First .
Woo!
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 9:32, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)