Facebook etiquette
I just got a friend request from someone whose name rings a vague bell, and their picture is, allowing for aging, sort of familiar. Clearly they remember me, but what's a polite way of asking "where do I know you from again?" Normally I'd drop a message to a mutual friend but there are none.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 10:10, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was within about a mile of Althegeordie yesterday, but didn't meet him
due to lack of notice and being really fucking busy.

What fates worse than death have you narrowly avoided recently?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 9:49, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

FIRST!

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 8:39, 47 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fuck me,
I just spent $100 at the grocery store and now can't decide whether to grill a steak, or roast a chicken (or do it on the bbq), or do lamb chops for dinner.
And I can't believe I bought so many groceries just for myself. Anyone wanna come for dinner tonight?
Better yet, give me some really good recipes for whole roasted chicken instead of the boring "shove it in the oven with a bit of salt and pepper".
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 21:07, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all, I've had a lovely day at the park lazing in the sun today.
I overheard some very entertaining children on the jungle gym speaking of their future occupations...One screaming that he was going to be an explorer while he scaled the slide the wrong way up and fell off several times and his friend screaming back equally loudly that he was going to be a nurse like his mum as he kicked boy A back onto the bouncy tarmac. Boy A's mother looked both parts amused and horrified while she sipped on her can of G&T - classy bird obviously.

What did you want to be as a child and is it greatly different to what you do now? I wanted to be an astronaut, but hadn't reckoned on physics being that challenging, so I did a film degree and am now training to be a veterinary nurse.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 19:11, 99 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Good morning!
It's another glorious sunny day in Southern California! Even though I am snuffly and sneezy and my throat feels like the cats are scratching their way down it, I shall spend half the day cleaning and the other half by the pool, followed by bbq'ing a whole chicken for dinner!
And I'm in an insanely good mood today!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 17:33, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Last night I went to my first Nova Scotian fetish party.
There was an impressive play space with numerous amounts of whips and paddles.
A fair amount of spanking and flogging occurred and there was also the odd bit of boot and licking and bondage play.
One lady in particular also had a rather satisfying session with a violet wand.

Oh, and there was also a tuck shop.
I had a mars bar
( wanderlust, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 15:36, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Films
Last night, Mrs SVLA and two of the kids were going to go see the new Transformers film. They said I can come along on the condition I watch the first one beforehand. So, I put the DVD on. I thought it was quite good.

But then the bit where Optimus Prime et al arrive, and after that it just got bloody stupid. They went without me to an earlier showing and left me to tolerate the latter half of the film. What a let down.

I then put on my new DVD, "Gran Torino". Which was a million times better.

Have you been disappointed and then buoyed again shortly afterwards?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 13:09, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A shit game
Last night I had 4 Marston's Pedigree & Spag bol. Today I have had 2 pints of milk, mackrel on toast and will be cooking chilli tonight.

I intend to have another 2 pints of milk and am going out to lunch where I shall consume the 'mystery component'. Using the link below, what colour do you think my evening shit will be? I predict Rich Chestnut.

www.dulux.co.uk/colours/index.jsp
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 11:18, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going out for the day but I wanted to ask a question before I left
How guilty are you of taking the internet too seriously sometimes? I know I have from time to time, not on here, but on another forum I use because I know the people very well in real life and as such you can't use the 'just pixels on a screen' comment because I know that they'd say the same to me in real life.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 10:18, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Question for North London Btans
In Reply.

Thanks!
(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Sun 12 Jul 2009, 9:11, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, me and him have been talking
and it's been a case of "listen to me for once" and he actually has. And he's acknowledged the reasons I broke up with him. We went to the Heart concert last night, and Duran Duran tonight and we had a good time.
I am at home now, and was listening to music on youtube - mainly from the concerts, but I came across this and remembered seeing the episode last year with Papa (mum's partner) and this just astounds me

Moonlight Shadow
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 8:27, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's a wet sunday morning, which can only mean one thing...

Anybody else not leaving the house today?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 12 Jul 2009, 8:13, 56 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Her name is Rio and she dances in the sand
I just saw Duran Duran in concert and it was fucking ACE! And last night I saw Heart, Thursday is Joan Jett and July 26 is Blondie. I fucking love Fair season in OC!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 7:11, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Weird Night....
I love doing night shifts - but on a Saturday Night, it just gets a bit too weird, even for me:



Who the hell left this on my train? And in First Class too!
(and before any of you lot start, I left it there for the cleaners to deal with).

And then on my way home, I was overtaken by two Ford Escorts, covered in fake fur with tails attached to their boots - one was a mouse, the other was made up to look like a fox.

I think I need a holiday!
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 0:55, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Its a wet weekend
what are you getting on with indoors?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 0:52, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

drooling over bacon
i know there are some pork fans here, so i thought you might appreciate a glimpse of the greatest dessert the world has ever known. chocolate cupcakes with maple bacon frosting (and the bacon creme brulee sounds intriguing as well)
www.thestar.com/living/article/648114
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 23:37, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

mictogirl has never had an ice-cream headache, nor can she whistle
is anyone else deeply disturbed by a particular aspect of their life-partner?
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 19:46, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

PsychoChomp was asking for links to people who've failed Off Topic in an amusing way.
I found this one by I_Was_Mordred.

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post478707#answers-post-478731
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 18:21, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*BLOIK*
I've just been along to our local branch of Aldi for some tomato puree and a few dried herbs. A bloke wandered in when I was at the checkout - wearing a mankini.

I feel a little bit sick now. It's put me off the coq-au-vin we're having later.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 16:04, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What\'s your favorite bit of chicken from KFC?





( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 13:27, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Queen of Off Topic
On skimming the recent threads, I notice we appear to have two Queens of Off Topic [1] [2]. So in time honoured tradition, let's have one of these...

Who should be the new Queen of Off Topic


EDIT: One of the candidates has kindly asked to be removed from the poll. Maladicta now wins by default (unless she wants to withdraw too, in which case, Anarchy will be declared).
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:03, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Honda talks end without Accord
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8145667.stm

Well that's what I thought it said.
( chart cat has an itch, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 6:43, Reply)

Okay... If you could have anyone's accent (apart from your own!) who's would it be?
Me? I'd go for Terence Stamp, in "The Limey"...

"You tell them i'm coming...
you tell them i'm fucking coming!!!!!"
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 22:49, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So Torchwood?
I can't be the only B3tan who has been watching it.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 22:25, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ever have one of those days?
Not one that is difficult or annoying but one that is filled with mirth.

First thing this morning I managed to create the fetid stench that comes from eating far too much broccoli.* Naturally I called my first born in to share the wealth....then shut her in the bathroom so she could savor the aroma between screams.

That really got the day off to a fun start.


Next I came across the really unfortunate name of "McFatridge". Can you imagine having to be a kid with a last name like that? Not to mention the exceedingly juvenile adults that would make fun of a name like that. we may or may not have made a number of jokes in our office concerning said name


Then I read a typo in an official report which has had me giggling for several hours. Actually, it wasn't so much a typo as a missing word. The fragment of the sentence in question should have read, "only a temporary job and she has now been officially laid off". What was actually written was: "only a temoporary job and she has now been officially laid".

My questions are thus:
-is this something new we are now to be monitoring?
-do you get some kind of certificate of completion for this?
-is this why she failed to report to probation? because she was too busy getting laid?


To round off my day of mirth, the fetid stench that comes from repeated broccoli farts has failed to end. Because my office is open to the public, so to speak, I have been forced to spray air freshener every 15 minutes or so. I don't recall every reading the details on the can of air freshener but something on the label caught my eye during the last round of spraying. It says, "Destroys bacterial odors at the source".

Now I am worried the air freshener is going to cause my bottom to seize up. This of course means I will not be able to release the toxins and will die a painful, bloated death.


Stay tuned for either further mirthful events and/or death.


Edit: And now we have just had a defendant named "Hore". This isn't helping. No one should laugh this much at work.


*Since girls don't fart, it was the dog**

**Ok, so we don't actually have a dog. It must have been a neighborhood dog that came into the house, farted all over the place, then left.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 20:16, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I made the newsletter with a link I put up, but wasn't credited
vectortits vendetta much?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 18:42, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In honour of Mikes awesome list,
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=16234
(shows people spakking out on /talk)

Who has failed offtopic in a entertaining way?
edit: bonus points for links.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:56, 64 replies, latest was 8 years ago)

Well, if everyone else is posting links...
twunter.co.uk/

...for a mildly surreal waste of 5 mins.

/shameless plug ;-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 15:48, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)