Tuesday evening is here!


What's your favourite word in another language?
( Maladicta, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 19:13, 102 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I quite like this entry
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jamie%20Oliver

Edit: Cue 'entry' related innuendo..
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 18:57, Reply)

Bloody English weather.
Just got back from taking my parents dog for a walk in the local park. Set of all sunny and warm but some distant dark clouds. Will be Ok says I as a bit of drizzle wont be too bothersome should it be on us.

Bloody pissed down for an hour. I had to take a detour round the park as there had been an incident and the police told me I had to go another route. Doubled back along a bridle path and fell in the mud.

I got drenched and my jeans were so wet it was like walking home with a small child attached to each leg. Even the dog was rushing to get back and usually you have to drag him up the hill back home.

Good news is that my Incredible Hulk t-shirt has arrived. Huzzah!

Oh and someone fancies me on the dating website and he's cute.

Edit - I keep getting Belgium men checking me out. What is it about me that says I need Belgium cock?


Edit 2 - And why didn't Firefox notice I'd spelt Belgium wrong?
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 18:19, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am now dole scum
Having moved to London. Which is fine, except of the £500 emergency money I had, I've spent £1200. Ah the free money of credit cards.

Now I'm asking your taxes to fund me as I attempt to find a job that will pay even half of what the one I walked out of in Northants did. Bastards.

On the plus side I'm now in London, yay!!

EDITAGE - I have shite 'net connection so sorry for being ignorant, and if you know of any part-time jobs in Londonville, gaz me! Yeah. AND even though I do have a massage table upstairs, it's not that kind of work that I'm looking for and no cock pictures will be accepted.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 16:54, 49 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Craving!
There's this thing you can get from the chippy, but only in the city of Hull and a couple of it's outlying regions called a patty. It's mashed potato and sage, deep fried in batter, and it's fucking awesome and I WANT ONE! Can't even get decent fish and chips around here so I'm craving lots of greasy deep fried food.

What's your favourite dish local to your city?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 16:18, 90 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

To all bored b3tans!
It's competition time!

Probably NSFW, but it's a game, not rude!

Post your high scores in replies!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 16:03, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, I'm totally off to the beach in three weeks.
I have an old tax form that will allow me to recieve $400 (yay extra beach money!) and I was going to file it today but it turns out that I waited too long and I'll have to mail it instead of filing online which means I've gotta wait 2 months to get it (boo, no extra money).

What have you missed out on because you're a lazy crap procrastinator? Or just busy, like me?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:43, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Considering it's quiet.
And yes I know I'm a sad cunt for reading it but....


Heat magazine's 'Spotted' section.

This weeks top spot.

James Corden and Sheridan Smith in the biscuit aisle of Morrisons in Barry, Wales, deliberating over a 'buy one and get one free' offer on party rings.

B3tans?
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:41, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes I know it's from /links
But god, I love this game!

www.physicsgames.net/game/Crush_the_Castle.html

Enjoy!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:41, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Every so often
you get told a tip, or a mnemonic and it really does plant itself deep in your brain. When I saw that thing in last week's newsletter about how to open a banana properly, I went out and bought some to test it out. By christ it works, and it's one of those tips that is now almost hardwired into my cortex. Everyone who sees me do it asks me what I'm doing and I explain. I've not had a single person complain that it's not better.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 13:39, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Swine Flu
I reckon I've got it.

Or, at the very least, a bit of a cold.

I'll MTFU and deal with it like a proper bloke.

By complaining to all and sundry - starting with the Internet.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 13:22, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You all know what day it is today right?

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 13:12, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why have some peeps suddently got arsey about lines breaks?
Its never seemed to bother people before and I personally find it easier to read if a long post is split up.
( Peej, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 12:11, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is OT actually Tech Support today?
I need help getting over all the boring shit that has popped up today. Where's Clendrix? She always excites me.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 11:34, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Greetings good citizens of Off Topic
Techie help needed. I want to rape and pillage your knowledge as I am an imbecile and have tried to do this for about a week with no joy.

Computer crashes (shitty Advent laptop). Reinstall windows and all the other guff. I've got an external dvd drive which hooks up via a usb which won't play now. Comes up with a 'need a hi-speed usb port' window twatty bollocks thing. It worked before. Been looking online to download the software driver, can't find the fucker. Any ideas where a poor fool like me can find this illusive fucking software so I can watch grot films on my laptop again (well, I was actually trying to watch The Incredibles).
(Big Grant, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 11:26, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Groo ....
Thank the relevant deity that's over. It is now two days since I had surgery to remove an ovarian cyst.

Going in, I was prepped for the worst. Suspected Endometriosis. Might have to take out one ovary and maybe some of the fallopian tubes.

Shit. Wasn't really hoping for a third child anyway, but, Really?

And then came the Bowel Prep. [warning, icky stuff]

The prepatory reading was bad enough. It outlined a 3 day diet that a supermodel would've considered a tad severe. Only to be followed by a course of laxatives, followed by a Full Bowel Purge.

The words, "If your anus become excoriated, please apply vaseline or lanolin" should never be read by a straight housewife in her thirties. I don't even know what the word excoriated means! And I went to Uni! And studied English Lit. Fat lot of good that was.

So ... I was ... in fact ... weeing out my bum for 2 days.

This my dears, is a Coming of (Middle) Age Ceremony. Don't laugh. You're bound to be next. The list of overly intrusive medical tests seems to have exponentially multiplied the SECOND I turned 30.

[/end icky stuff]

So, end result;

No endometriosis. Yay!

Four scars on my belly. Boo.

Ovarian cyst excised and gone for good (hopefully). Yay lots!

Going to bed now. All this excitement has fair done for me nerves.

Bugger ... I should just buy a pearl twin set and change my name to Hyacinth.
(Que?, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 11:19, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Quick techie help needed
Today I'm going to be reinstalling XP on someone's PC, as they've got a badly pirated one.

I'm going to be replacing it with a genuine one they've bought (don't ask, I don't know why either), so my question is this.

Will I need to remove the old windows first, or can I just install over the top?

If this doesn't apply to you, tell me what your favourite alcoholic drink is? Mine is a heather ale called Fraoch, it's godly!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:53, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sainsburys goodness
'The Outlaw Josey Wales' and 'Unforgiven' for only £2.99 each!!!

They also had 'Run fatboy Run' for £2.99 so the mrs got that and made me watch it instead of some clintywestern goodness :0(

How was your evening dear reader?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:52, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight!

What was the last song that you got stuck in your head?

Why is it always a shit one?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:56, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Google Bomb For The Win
And a thanks to you all.

A search for Omnia Creative Consultancy or Omnia Creative brings Spimf's page up at number three.

So in 24 hours we've achieved our aim.

Now who said that Google didn't work that way?

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:34, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've sneezed four times today
which means I must have swine flu. If anyone else wants it I'll come round and sneeze on you at work for a small fee.

and happy birthday Bill
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:33, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm Baaaaaaack
So what's been going on. Did you all miss me? I bet you did!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:01, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wooohooo!
I am halfway through a bottle of pinot and just had lamb chops with mashed potatoes and gravy for dinner! Nomalicious!
How's your evening going?
Oh, and how's your sex life?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 5:37, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bliss
Double Jamesons + Ice.

Repeated intake will fend off swine flu, man-flu, bird-flu and several other ailments.
Side effects may include loss of vision (after 1 bottle), loss of ability to retain memory and complete failure of inhibition.

So forget TamiFlu, grab yourself a bottle of Irish Flu Defence Medication... and it's very nice to drink too!
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 2:43, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Toasters
Was just having a shower and I realised that my toaster is now 10 years old. Its a dualit 4-slice bastard. I've never replaced a part, and it makes better toast than cheaper toasters. Anyone who disagrees a) doesnt have a dualit b) hates toast and c) doesnt know what the fuck they're talking about.

A wank, I think.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 0:00, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I just don't fucking get it
A girl claims to like me, and claims to call me her boyfriend. However, when she comes round mine for food (and leaves my keyboard as greasy as hell) she decides to play games on Facebook and chat with her friends.

And then says she has a good time and wants to come round tomorrow. And yet I feel like I'm competing with a fucking website.

Am I missing something here? Or is she just an antisocial cow who I'm better off without?

/rare mention of personal life blog
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Jul 2009, 23:40, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New comic


Two, if you didn't read last weeks.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 22:34, Reply)

Wanna know something else that freaked me out a little today?
I'm reading Stephen King's 'The Stand' at the moment on my everlasting journeys to work and on page 165, there is mention of...SWINE FLU. "Government health officials emphasize that this is Russian-A flu, not the more dangerous Swine flu".

It's a given that I'm reading it as a giggle as I loved the miniseries and people give you funny looks if you wear your scrubs home on the tube and sneeze a couple of times - anything to get a seat, but the thing that gets me is that this book was written in 1978, with any additions made in 1990 (It's the complete and uncut version).
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 22:20, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm back from a weekend of awesome.
What did I miss?
( Maladicta, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 20:59, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I went to tesco to get my weeks shopping
Came back with two bottles of milkshake, toothpaste and a bottle of whiskey. I just couldn't afford seven bottles of whiskey =(
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 20:15, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)