Word up bitches
I'm having a poker evening tonight as I'm a smoking, boozing, gambling form of awesome.

What you doing this weekend, or if you prefer slag each other off and mock them for claiming to be experts in fields they know very little about. YES I AM REFERING TO YOU KAOL!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:37, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What're you listening to at the moment?
After a traumatic 'Windows ate my 160gig music collection' incident last year, I'm on the listen out for some new bands. I like most stuff except really heavy metal or hardcore/trance. Everything in between is fair game.

What's dribbled through your earholes recently?

Or, credit to clendrix, what're your top five most played in iTunes, Spotify, player of your choice etc?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:32, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm a bit disappointed
I read this last night!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:19, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Friday Fluffeh
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/bangladesh/5897089/Extinct-leopard-discovered-by-Bangladeshi-villagers.html
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:18, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh...
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8164503.stm

There really is no god now is there?

RUUUN!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 8:56, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Still ill which sucks, however
I've won tickets to Sonisphere! Who else is going?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 8:43, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bosses are cunts, but for the win!
My receptionist/parts guy is out on vacation this week, annd he runs an 8 hour a day job, as do I. With him being out, I'm covering him which means I'm fucking slow at doing his stuff.
This also means I haven't gotten my regular work done.
So my boss has been on my ass all day, and when I pointed out to him what I'm doing and his report can fucking wait as (per company policy) the customers come first he got all sheepish. I pointed out I was working at home (on a night, after hours) all last week doing photoshop stuff for our business, and am doing similar stuff this week and will be working all weekend, I don't have to go in till 10.30 tomorrow. SLEEP IN!!!!!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 7:55, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

hey you bunch of cunts
I've been drinking, playing beer pong and gettin it down

what the fuck have you been doing?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 6:34, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lest I be accused (again) of not being fluffy when i'm surrounded by squeaking, purring, woofing furry things all day long...
Have some fluff you cunting fuckers

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FS0ky5IUJYM
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 22:23, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Super happy fun tiem!


What do you sing along to when no one is home because you'd die of embarrassment?
( Maladicta, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 19:22, 120 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's cooking, good looking?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 18:39, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Trends that piss me off on the internet.
There is a big thing going around the social networks where everyone is plugging everyone, saying things like "@me would like to thank @tim, @tom and @ben for a lovely evening" or "Paul Silver would like to thank John, Jim and James for a good time".

OK, I understand that if it's a celebraty doing it, it could help out the non-celebraty 'mates', but when it's some non-entity interneter doing it to other non-entitys, it just gets on my goat.

It's not an award's cermony, it's a bloody evening in/out.

There, I've said it, and I don't appollogize for it.

I'm also going to ask here for you lot to name some breeds of dogs that you think would be good for me; small dogs, not to yappy, not to much work (ok, I know all dogs can be hard work, but some more so than others).
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 16:19, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bev Vincent writes like a girl
www.storytellersunplugged.com/apparently-i-write-like-a-girl

Anyone ever mistaken you for the opposite gender?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 16:04, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I keep seeing
Midgets - 4 in one week so far.

People with gammy/fucked legs - probably 100 in the last month.

No correlation I dont think.

They're fuckin everyman, crazy little fuckers.

I think I'm turning into Jacob off of Jacobs Ladder when he kept seeing people with funny shakey heads everywhere. Ooh havent seen Jacobs ladder for ages, I must download that.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 16:00, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just a question
Do any of you lovely people know if it is possible to convert BBC iPlayer content into a useable DRM free format?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:51, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Totally by accident
everything I seem to read at the moment is about vampires or zombies, I seem to be drawn to that sort of book for whatever reason. I’m currently reading The Strain by Guillermo Del Toro and its getting really exciting now!

So my question is this – what is you favourite book or film which contains vampires? My favourite vampy book is I Am Legend by Richard Matheson and my favourite vampy film is probably The Lost Boys.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:46, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm not leaving you out QOTW!
b3ta.com/calendar/event/20496

Join the fantasy football league. If you want to. No pressure.
( WHARRGARBL, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:45, Reply)

Hello tossers.
You are invited to take part in a calendar event and you don't even have to unwedge your fat arse from the chair. So pull up a pie and see if you lot can outsmart /talk and /board. Ha ha As if!!!
b3ta.com/calendar/event/20494
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:43, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A while back, my mate showed me a post on Gumtree
It was an out of work plumber who was looking for work, but for smaller jobs would happily take a good handjob as payment. WTF?? thought I. But then it got me thinking.

Let's say someone, Bob for example needs a new tap fitting. I could turn up at his house with an 'escort' lady in tow, I hide out of sight keeping Bob distracted and the escort pretends to be the occupier. Handjob plumber guy turns up, fits the tap, an the pro gives him a handjob. Plumber leaves happy, I charge Bob the going rate for fitting a tap, pay off the 'escort' lady and pocket the change.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:04, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It really does seem that
Betans (albeit spelt different) do indeed love horses

www.beta-uk.org/

Edit: Perfectly legit link, nothing dubious or anything.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:52, Reply)

Oh Bugger
I've just found out that the friend I went to see on Tuesday has been diagnosed today with Swine Flu.

We were suposed to be going to a gig on Saturday as well.

So that's my likelyhood of catching it gone up a bit. Bollocks!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:27, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I watched the Wicker Man last night.
The original, not the Cage-fuelled remake. I now bestow upon it the title of the weirdest film I have ever seen.
I've tried watching it a few times before, but given up because it was too much weird too late at night. Turns out the weirdness increases exponentially after my usual giving up point.

I quite enjoyed it, even if I did spend half the time clutching my head and shouting 'WHAT THE FUCK??' at the telly.

What's the most mind bending film you've seen recently?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:17, 59 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If you could wake up and spend the day as another B3tan, then who would you choose?
I would like to wake up as The Grammar badger and for a whole day I would know where to put my apostrophies.
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:14, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So it appears that I'm an old perv
You're all nodding, aren't you?


Well, I awoke from a pleasant dream this morning, but was slightly confused. Y'see, as part of my imaginary unconscious life, I'd walked into a room where a naked girl was lying in bed. I didn't recognise her, but I subsequently awoke, remembering her face. Anyway, in the dream, said girl was most unmodest about her unclothed state, and some fun ensued. You don't need to know any more about that bit. Make it up yourself.

Fast forward to this morning, at work. I'd all but forgotten about the dream, until in walked one of our research students. The 1/100 subdivision of a pound sterling then succumbed to the force of gravity. I'd been dreaming about one of our students. Naked.

This amused me, but at the same time made me feel like a dirty old man. And I've not really been able to look her in the eye today without chuckling and feeling slightly embarrassed.

so, what did you all dream of last night?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:21, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is there
a more succinct way of saying "getting straight to the point"?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:08, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's good to see in South West France then?
I'm thinking of driving down with the 'lids et al, to Carcassonne etc... and maybe that Aragon, where the dinosaurs are.

What's good to see down that way?
(dchurch bah, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 12:52, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Have you ever been addicted to anything?
I'm not a believer in 'addictive personality' but I've had my fair share of addictions. Nicotene, alcohol, weed, internet chat. I'm stronger than all that now.

What are, or have been, your addictions or compulsions?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 12:19, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Word up bitches
To celebrate Al fucking off for two weeks (YAY!) I think we should talk about our favourite Al moments. Mine was when he bought his super gay bike
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 10:23, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

think I've got swine flu
or a very nasty cold.

am not sure whether to call the already overburdened NHS and get me some Relenza, or just lie in bed all day and get my other half to wait on me (rather than working, which is what he's supposed to be doing). I would try and sleep but the baby is kicking me every time I get comfortable.

stupid virus. and stupid baby.

what would b3tans suggest i do?
( ascorbate, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 10:04, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Aaaaaaaaargh
I get my long, girly, Jesus hair cut off today.

Aaaaaaaaaaargh.
( djtrialprice, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 9:30, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)