I have an exciting work outing this afternoon and evening
we're going to visit the new flood defences in Weston-super-Mare, with work sponsored fish and chips.

I bet you wish you were me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 9:53, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

To all those who provided php help yesterday.
Just wanted to say cheers! If we happen to be in a pub feel free to tap me for a pint.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 14 Oct 2009, 9:36, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I occasionally wear heels to make myself taller.
I get a manicure every now and again.
Sometimes I put a cucumber wrapped in tin foil down my trousers.

What do you do to feel better about yourself?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 9:08, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is it wrong of me
to feel proud that I have made the archive of "Amorous Badger's" profile page?

www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=10973

It has me sitting up straight and I think I might show my assistant.

There is something wrong with me isn't there?
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 8:21, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mmm the weekend starts here
After a horrendously manic few months at work I have some time off, woo! and what better way to spend it than a 4 day stag do in Speyside, visiting whisky distilleries, drinking, scoffing food and playing poker until sunday. The only problem is I hate flying

Really really hate flying :(
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 7:42, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Domino's Pizza
They're the worst takeout pizza I've ever had. Just appalling. The Italian government should prosecute them for daring to use the word pizza to describe their soggy overpriced shit. And yet there are outwardly normal people who eat their "product". Bizarre.

Where do you stand on the Domino's question?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 21:23, 100 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Burgers again
I settled on a teaspoon of English mustard and a liberal helping of Balti curry paste. They were fucking well tasty
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 20:41, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

night in nodnol
Been a while since I was in London town but I'm seeing Muse at the O2 in Nov. Due to a total result - in that all the women have dropped out, instead of 2 couples its now 4 blokes so can have my first boys night out in a year. However, I havent lived there for 6+ years now so a bit rusty.

4 of us - 30 somethings and one 42 year old, need some late night drinkies in somewhere that isnt completely west-end and shit. Would prefer a series of venues rather than one quiet pub, I would like to stagger down a nice road full of bars and pubs and clubs really and possibly even ones where they have the nice topless ladies at the end seeing as we're all a bit predictable and chavvy when drunk. My friends who have never been south of Cheshire, except for the odd business trip think it would be a jolly wheeze to go the west end and end up in Stringfellows or Spearmint Fucking Rhino. They havent a fucking clue, and I need to come up with the goods really.

I'm thinking Islington maybe? Its not too "young" is it? Also need somewhere to stay that isnt totally shit. Anyone got any suggestions?
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 20:16, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tuesday.


Tell us about the most interesting object you can see.
( Maladicta, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 19:23, 112 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've been in an awesome mood since Sunday
and it suits me. It makes me eat more and motivates me to get stuff done.

What suits you and motivates you?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 18:20, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh fuckit.
I've tried google, I've tried doing it myself, and quite frankly my desk isn't up to my headbutting it anymore.

I've foolishly agreed to work on a friend's website (as I wrested control of it from his frankly cack-handed younger brother), and he wants two scripts (in php) that will dynamically update content on the front page, with which DJ happens to be on at the time, and also the day's schedule.

So if anyone has any solutions, or even the correct fecking search terms (total newbie to php) please let me know!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 13 Oct 2009, 17:16, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going swimming tonight
followed by eating sausage, mash and beans.

What are you up to, you bunch of ravenous stoats.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 17:09, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

JMG etc.
Now I'm not here to make fun of you people.
Not even if one of you has now taken the "fantasist" role all the way to prison.
:(

Poor lad.


Anyway. What can YOU, the rest of QOTW do to assure the users of bigger and more popular internet that you're all prepared to stamp out this behaviour in the future.
I've taken a very dim view of you all over this. But alas I can't say it wasn't expected.
Feel free to forward all the internet knights amongst you who protected the women during this. On the internet.


Yours,
JMG from the better internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:15, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have mince and I'm going to make burgers
what's the best thing to bind it together with?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:09, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today, I overdosed on small emo boys.
Spotted one in the library (a boy from my lectures I'm slightly attracted to) at the same time as texting another (my ex) and thinking about a third (the guy I'm seeing). Far too much fringe and piercings at once.

What have you had too much of recently? More importantly, why do I have such poor taste?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:05, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A party of Hari Krishners...
...have just danced and chanted their way down the street outside my office.

What have you seen today which made you smile?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 13 Oct 2009, 15:58, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

End of days
it's all over for the mighty Newcastle Brown Ale...

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/8304274.stm

Now to be brewed in Yorkshire. Is nothing sacred?

In other news, it was confirmed today after an extremely thorough eye exam that I don't actually need glasses, despite what the optician I saw last week said. The fucking charlatan.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Oct 2009, 15:44, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't love horses however
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7628930.stm

"It's illegal to make or use counterfeited coins and the Royal Mint says people must hand them in if they think they have one"

So, you can hand it in and be a pound short, or try to pass it on asap.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 15:24, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey there everyone
I'm listening to David Bowie, how about that now.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 14:22, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's your view on this
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8303983.stm

I've been through what I can only assume was one of these in Amsterdam airport earlier in the year. It sped the whole process up dramatically. From what I understand of them the images can't be saved, and are only looked at for a second or two. It's not as if the security guard has time to beat off while looking at it.

My view: I don't give a shit, as long as it makes things more convenient for me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 13:38, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Green Laser Pointers
Pointless gadgets or stonking great fun?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 12:39, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mornin'
Bit of a computery question.

I'm at work trying to install .NET Framework 3.5 on a laptop with no internet access. I've got it downloaded on my computer and written the folder "3.5" to a CD. Could it be as simple as copying this into the relevant directory on the laptop, or are there any risks involved? I'm at work and don't want to be responsible for a broken laptop.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers
(TheColonel, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 11:49, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

...
One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords, and shot each other.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 10:46, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Should I go and see Skindread and Karnivool on Friday night?
hmmm?

edit: the fuckers have only gone and sold out of tickets, rendering this thread pointless.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:18, 56 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In the words of the mighty Saxon
"We Came Here To Rock!"

What did you come here to do today?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:56, 124 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Eds Meds Or Edmund Jailed.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1219741/Victim-lying-Major-TA-girl-fell-serial-fantasist-said-hed-Army-medic-fighter-pilot-psychiatrist.html


And there's some backstory to this.

Back in May another QOTW regular gazzed me and said he had some concerns about another B3tard, Edmund, (but who now goes by the name Ed's Meds.) The B3tard who contacted me had done a bit of digging and had figured out who Ed really was. He was a serial stalker, alleged bigamist and fantasist who goes by the name Craig Alexander (or sometimes Colclough). He was getting worried about Ed's behaviour in off-topic. He seemed to be continually trying to chat up anyone vaguely female. Well, I looked into the background of this chap and was concerned enough to alert one of the mods. I also gazzed a few of the girls I know from QOTW and asked them if Ed had been gazzing them. Almost all of them had been gazzed by him at one time or another.

Anyways, I decided that the best thing to do would be to confront Ed and tell him that we knew who he was and warn him to stop stalking the ladies. A few gazzes went back and forth between us and, although he denied some of the press stories about himself were true, he admitted there was some truth to some of them. So he deleted a few of his posts containing some of his more outrageous lies and agreed not to hit on the girls.

After that, I forgot all about him until now when a post on Scary Ducks blog led me to that Daily Fail article. But what I didn't know was that this bloke had been trying to pass himself off on as a doctor in the comments section of Scary's blog!

Ah well. It's a funny old world.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 7:57, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm totally revamping my CV
and as such have lost the will to live. There's probably only a lone goose reading this and his webbed feet and feathery fingers mean he probably will make as much sense as Catface on sherry if he does reply.

I may resort to talking to myself here later
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:34, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was feeding my son earlier
and couldn't get to the remote to change channels, so ended up watching the opening titles of hollyoaks. Baby promptly came off the breast to scream at me as if in pain. I think this is a good sign - even at 2 weeks old he objects to such shite.
( ascorbate, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:11, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Micro Men
Dunno if anyone saw it (I thought it was quite good, a change for the TV), but if anyone saw Micro-Men on BBC4 the other night (I think they're running it every day 8 times a day at the moment - well, it's been years since the BBC did anything half decent, so I suppose they're quite proud of it), does anyone know who did that version of Beethoven's 5th when the Acorn people are partying after winning the BBC contract?
(dchurch bah, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 19:47, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)