Imbeciles.
Captain Kidd in Wapping on Sat 18/02/12.

That is all.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 15:56, 44 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Previous thread is shit with deleting
I'm trusting that everyone now has had a post Christmas payday. What did/will you buy that abject poverty in January stopped?

I am craving a good curry and shall rectify that at the weekend

Alt:
Fuck you and your Alt. Make something up, you normally do
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 14:46, 244 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's my birthday on Saturday and I will be 30 :'(
however my little team has just bought me a cake and a scarf as a present which was unexpectedly nice.

When did someone last do something unexpectadly nice for you?

Alt: when was someone unexpectadly a cunt?

Altalt: offal, tasty unappreciated innards or revolting pile of putrid meat?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 14:04, 146 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

What's the funniest thing you've seen on television?
I have a shortlist of my own favourite moments:
1. Catchphrase ‘wanking Mr Chips’ episode
2. Anthea Turner motorbike explosion
3. Blue Peter ‘vandalised garden’ report
4. That’s Life ‘rossages’ dog story
5. John Noakes crying when asked how Shep is, because Shep had recently died
6. Trevor Cleaver’s ‘bacon and eggs mum’ acting masterclass on the Grange Hill barge school trip
7. ‘Fresh and Fly’ live at the Grange Hill end of term party on the school field
8. Five Star ‘why are you so fucking crap?’ phone-in question

What have I missed?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:59, 157 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New question of the week vote
VOTE VOTE VOTE! HERE
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:28, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I think this is a good idea
www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2012/feb/01/elephants-rhinos-australia-wild-grass

The reasons against it is "what if there's too many elephants???" they're a fucking endangered species, they're obviously not that hard to kill.

Also do you think Scousers will make a shrine for Hilsborough 2.0?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 10:25, 220 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good (?) morning my fellow shut-ins?
Please tell me about your messiest time at work. Were you still finishing the vodka as you walked in? Still hanging out the back of Kerry from the Helpdesk? How did you cope? What did you do, hotshot?

As fucking usual, I'm awake from silly o'clock and tired, hungry and bored

Alt:
Entertaining jobs to give the apprentice?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 6:22, 200 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Evening, oafs!
It seems that the Winehouse woman might not be dead after all, as the pathologist that did the post-mortem wasn't qualified to be a pathologist.

Makes you wonder, eh? Who else might not be dead as a result of unqualified speculation? Who certified Pol Pot dead? Hitler? Genghis Khan? This is getting scary.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 18:50, 174 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I had fruit salad for lunch.
That means I can go to the pub tonight.

Anyway what are you up to at the weekend?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 15:12, 190 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New thread time
and from the opposite end of the spectrum of what passes for internet humour, have a sports question. You know the thing you have to go outside for. Do you play a sport at all? Or undertake some exercise? Or do you watch sport- if so what was the last thing you watched?

Alt: I think it's about time for some lunchness to counter this healthy talk. What do you have for lunch?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 13:07, 154 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Another new thread started by me. Soz.
Of all the internet 'things', which is most annoying?

*doing this*?
strikethroughs?
ym?
___'s less successful followup single?
saying 'soz'?
something else?

I'm guilty of all of them, and indeed invented one of them, so I cannot really judge, here. I'm just epically bored and trying to start a conversation.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 12:09, 164 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

That thread wasn't going to win any awards, eh?
Apart from 'shittest thread yet in 2012' perhaps. Quite some achievement.

1) QOTW: do you post on there? I have almost entirely given up even reading it.
2) Iran: reckon we're going to end up in a war with them?
Reckon they really are developing nuclear weapons?
3) Ringo Starr: the biggest turd of all time - or can you suggest a bigger one?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 10:32, 177 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning you flange of bloated blubbery baboons
I won't be here much today as I have loads of work and estate agents to deal with, so play nice and try not to be too autistic, ok?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 8:40, 150 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I dun went and killed a thread lol

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 20:16, 30 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Woohoo!
No new posts or threads in over an hour! I think I've survived the apocalypse.

In your face dead people.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 18:52, 107 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

YOU! Yes, you! Over there, sitting at your computer
I think you are a cunt. You look like one and you certainly smell like one.

GENERAL RANTY THREAD - COME ON, HAVE A MOAN HERE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:42, 182 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

i am so fucking bored
q - how does a workwife/husband differ from an office fling?

alt q - what do you do to make the workday bearable?
( zulu eh?, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 14:27, 95 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Watched any good tell lately?
I've been watching Alchatraz, it's quite good, I'm enjoying it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 13:25, 190 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well, that's me fucked then.
Good morning my internet chums. It would seem I am 'under consideration' for redudndancy, which is all the more fun for being unexpected. Due to this I will likely not be on here as much for a while, or maybe a whole lot more, depends how sensible I am. Anyway, if you know of any jobs going in IT, tech support, software testing, interactive television or computer or bicycle repair in or around London, please gaz me.

Actually, fuck it, any jobs going, not fussy, or at leats I won't be in another month or so.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 9:13, 152 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Cuntakinte
Good morning my fellow retards, perverts and window lickers. What delights are in store for you today?

Is today the Sunshine Bus trip out? Will Lisa from Accounts be wearing THAT skirt again? Have you prepared a masterpiece for lunch again in the form of a Dairylea triangle sandwich? In short, what is going to be good about today?

Alt:
Or shit?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 6:53, 62 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Sat at my girlfriend's cousin's house whilst she ignorantly plays on the latest Zelda and ignores us
So I have nothing better to do than read B3ta.
God, Zelda is shit in so many ways (prepares for people (idiots) to defend it to the hilt)

So I ask you this, what game do you think is massively over rated and in your opinion is total tripe?

Alt: just anything that is shit but everyone else likes. Case in point, the Nintendo Wii
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 21:44, 56 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Where is everyone?
It's dead on here.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:10, 85 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's Monday afternoon now.
I am bored to fucking tears.

1. Would you ever emigrate for good? If so, where to and why?
2. What's you favourite smell and why?
3. Why does my piss smell of Walkers Roast Chicken crisps after a heavy few days?
4. Which year was the best EVARR?
5. The Welsh: why?
6. Are you still here?

EDIT
7. Do you agree that 'blood pressie' is the most bent phrase of all time?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:55, 248 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's Monday morning.
Do some work, you bunch of talentless flids.

Alternatively, answer me this: if it's been snowing since stupid o clock this morning, and it's brass monkey cold, why is there no snow on the fucking ground? Eh? What's that all about?

Alt: spots or stripes? Show your working.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:33, 150 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I read today*
that according to some cunts, the most influential comedian of all time is Billy Connolly - and the most influential international comedian is Robin Williams.

That doesn't sound quite right, to me. I suppose 'influential' does not mean 'funny', though...

But who should they have named EDIT and why?

* www.metro.co.uk/showbiz/888767-billy-connolly-named-most-influential-stand-up-comic-of-all-time
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 10:18, 87 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Monday morning!
I just wanted to get a leg up on you cunts.
My birthday is coming up.
When is your birthday? What do you want?

Alt: most awesome birthday gift you got as a child.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 4:16, 145 replies, latest was 14 years ago)