I'm typing this at a keyboard and not bragging about my phone because I'm not that kind of prick.
What kind of prick are YOU?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 19:27, 6 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I am
currently tapping away on the good old Samsung smartphone, lying in bed at 2:00 am in a fit of insomnia in a remote Australian country town, and yet, I can hear a bunch of drunken deadshits bellowing "I wanna know, ooh aah, will you be my girl".

Is this the universal song of drunken yobs?

Alt: would you fuck Kylie or Danii?
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:27, 77 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

This one's going out to the OLD SKOOL REGULARS, the positive, fluffy guys like The Resident Loon.
I got a text from my ex on Monday asking me if I had this month's Classic Rock. I said no, and asked why: turns out she was in the supermarket and my little girl was insisting on her buying it for me because it has Jimi Hendrix on the cover. This makes me go 'awwwwww'.

When did you last feel really touched by the selfless or thoughtful actions/words of another?

Alt: Gay cunt
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 15:52, 155 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Best thing EVAR!
What do you cherish the most from you posessions? Either something you own or were bought?

Alt:
Worst
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 14:35, 114 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

You can be anywhere in the world immediately.
CHOOSE NOW YOU ONLY HAVE TEN SECONDS.

Now explain your choice.

Alt: what's for lunch?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:14, 232 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

there is a friday feeling, i get it every day...
hello friday people. two b3tans drowning in a pond. to whom do you give the kiss of life, and whom do you allow to sink?

alt: you can replace that with burning in a fire and pissing on, if you like?

altalt: what's the matter with you?

altaltalt: WEEKEND PLANS?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 10:01, 189 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

WAHEY!

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 5:33, 99 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I clicked on the post below
and within seconds was thrown into a world of abuse and inter-board rivalry.

Can't we just get along?

I love you guys (and girls!)

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:39, 163 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Bad news looks like my office is being closed, They won’t let me work full time from home…..
There’s no way I’m relocating to Basingstoke, what should I do fellow O/T’ers (DYAKKY and my mum is not really an option that helps).

Alt: Office steal I have a big boot on my car, what should I take as a momentum of my time served?

Alt,alt: Career change I’ve been stuck doing the same job for over 17 years, if you could change your career what would you do? And why?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 16:50, 120 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I just nipped to the loo/john/head/lavvy/bog/toilet/khazi/powder room (for the laydeez and Stunned)
ambled up to the urinal unzipping, then kept paying attention to that area until I got going to ensure I didn't piss on my hands/shoes/trousers. Once fully underway I looked up to see the large OUT OF ORDER sign at eye level. Fortunately I was able to clamp down and shuffle along to the next one as nobody else was present.

Tell us about the time you missed the obvious signs of something?

Alt: Ever pissed on yourself? Stood next to someone who has? Piss anecdotes, basically.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:21, 144 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

What is the best nightclub you've ever been to?
If you haven't got one what was the last nightclub you went to? Are there any good nigthclubs in London to have a laugh in or are they all poncey and cliquey like this place?

Alt: When making a glass of Ribena from concentrate do you put the Ribena in first then the water or the other way around?

Altalt: Have you ever recommended something to loads of people based on one experience of said thing and then gone back to it and it was shit? I once recommended Ace Ventura Pet Detective to someone.
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:20, 189 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Well this is good. Obvious fix, new thread!
So a friend of mine moved from North London to Harlow and, one week in, has realised she's made a daft mistake. Apparently Harlow's "a shithole full of chavs and retards". What a shocker.

What daft things have you done that everybody around you totally saw coming?

Alt: Meh. Lunch. Salad for me. I fucking disgust myself.
( Kroney, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:20, 9 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

my qotw entry came motherfucking third yo.
When did you last come third? Extra points for being either a Lucky Pierre or in the middle if a spitroast.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 12:46, 5 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

there is some juicy gossip going on in a few Oxford pubs near me at the moment.
got a big meeting this afternoon. I can't tell you about it as it would be sub-judicious, but you might have some gossip. go on, spill the beans

alt: why are you so scared to open up?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 12:45, 19 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

love, love will tear us apart, again.
when was the last time you had your heart ripped out your chest and shat on?

Alt: what stops you being sad? what placebo do you use to pretend that your life isn't a shit pointless trudge towards death.

AltAlt: name you fav childhood disappointment.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 11:10, 185 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

News link
www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/oct/10/pubs-clubs-closed-rape-crackdown

This is about the Met using new powers to close down pub/clubs where high levels of rape happen. It seems to be a way to distract attention from the fact that the Met are really shit at investigating rape but who knows it might help maybe?

Alt: I'm going to centre parcs tomorrow who's jealous?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 10:25, 148 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Yeah morning.
Dull dull dull dull dull.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 8:26, 216 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Christ it's dead on here the night.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 21:28, 19 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

You're all horrid bullies
b3ta.com/questions/driventomadness/post1754589
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 19:01, 21 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Jesus fucking christ, here's a new thread. Twats
Do you ski? Ever been skiing or Snowboarding? where's your favourite resort?

Alt: best pie (that should keep you occupied)

altalt: prick?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 15:22, 272 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I have just been watching this,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrhBlvm3Tq4

I think it might be the greatest film ever made. I have a new found respect for Neil Morrisey. What has changed your opinion of someone recently?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 Oct 2012, 12:28, 174 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

SRS news thread
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19882618

Should we be prosecuting people for what they say on the Internet, and if so, why?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 10:30, 235 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

gid moaning
It's freezing, innit?

So, first Savile, now Freddie Starr. Which celeb do you reckon is next to be outed as a sex pest? My money's on John Leslie and LTJ Bukem.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 8:16, 192 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Battered is in the house!
A wendy house.

A girl I work with has taken her dog to the doggy psychiatrist this alvo at the cost of £300. What was the biggest waste of money you have spent on a pet/child/parent?

No Quints, you're a cunt!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:30, 255 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

grossness
my friend's bf turned to her the other night, and admitted that he hadn't showered or cleaned his teeth in 4 days. rank. what is the grossest you have ever been, or your sluttiest secret?

alt: who is the stupidest person you know??

altalt: it's that time.... LUNCH???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:21, 239 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Is this guy cool, or a fucking nutter?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-19860249

Who do you reckon is cool, apart from Fonzie obviously? Who do you reckon is a nutter?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 10:52, 236 replies, latest was 13 years ago)