Right fuck it, I've not had enough of Christmas yet so
Christmas bad: waking up Christmas morning alone, daughter had a week in Lanzerote, the jammy bitch.
Christmas good: good food and laughs with my family, and I got an awesome synth called a Kaossilator which I'm modestly becoming quite adept at using.

Do it the other way around if you're feeling pessimistic. Or tell me what music has grabbed you in the past couple of weeks and I'll try my hardest not to judge you. I'll just let Monty do it instead.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:44, 171 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I also woke up alone on Christmas day
with a stonking hangover, I also managed to stand on my debit card.
Good food and wine though.

I haven't been grabbed for a couple of weeks if you know what I mean.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Neither have I man, neither have I.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Okay, I'll play
Christmas bad:being up most of Christmas Day night treating nugget#2's hypos - bastard pancreas has decided to work for a bit.
Christmas good:getting an iPhone from PJM - it might be fuelling evil Apple's attempted take-over of the world but I love it, so there!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:01, Reply)

My brother's got an ipad in his gadget-infested house.
I gave it to my dad and he said "What's this?" Within about four minutes he said "I fucking want one of these!"
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

They suck you in!
I saw an iPhone in the USA about three years ago when they first came out and was not impressed - flashy and surely that touch screen would break....
Evil, evil, evil, evil.

If I could afford it I'd have an iPad in a flash. I adore so many apps it makes me feel dirty.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Me too, the feeling dirty part.
I don't want to get sucked in but they're just. too. cool.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Have you seen that there's a VCL Media player app?
You can watch all those downloaded torrents on the iPhone now without having to hand over cash to iTunes!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

no, they're not*
*may have refused to play with an ipad in the apple shop for fear of getting sucked in. I work with so many iWankers it's ridiculous
(berk, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

The gadgets are cool, it's the fucking fanboy idiots I dislike.
I'll unlikely every get an iphone because they're ridiculously overpriced but an ipad's looking possible in a year or so.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I try to hide my iPhone most of the time
Apart from in front of my students - then I flash it and tell them this is where their tuition fees are going.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Hahah

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Good work
Christmas bad: Having to drive 400 miles all told between three sets of parents in four days and forking out £170 for a hire car and petrol for the privelige.
Christmas good: Being offered Ms Foxtrot's Gran's Austin Metro so that next year it'll only cost me petrol.

Hang on, is that good?

Also, nothing to do with Christmas but what the fuck, England retaining the Ashes at the MCG. Fuck yeah.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I'm here to help.
www.amazon.com/West-Coast-Seattle-Boy-Collectors/dp/B003YDZV90
This is the best thing to have happened to my ears in fucking decades. Words cannot amply convey how fucking brilliant it is. Yes, it's for completists and hardcore Jimi-nerds and I am proud to be both. It's simply wonderful: hours of Hendrix I had never heard before. Just wow.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Nice choice, which is now downloading.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Also:
www.amazon.com/Growers-Mushroom-Dig-Leaf-Hound/dp/B000AQBAUI/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1293620742&sr=1-1
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

And:
www.amazon.com/Rockin-Fillmore-Humble-Pie/dp/B000002GKT/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1293620779&sr=1-1

These plus that Hendrix box are basically in rotation in Chateau Boyce this month.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

This also is downloading.
Music is like crack.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Hope you like it. I think it's marvellous.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I got the latest Take That CD for Christmas
I asked for it.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Well done you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

:D
I knew you'd approve.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

That actually looks alright.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

It's superb.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Christmas bad: It was fucking Christmas time.
Chirstmas good: The festive season is pretty much over.

Morning wankers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Go pessimism!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

My brother got the Joey Deacon book from his ex!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Tongue Tied?
She much want him back.

Borrow the book from him when you get chance and let me know if it's worth £75.00
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:09, Reply)

He said it's not,
but then proceeded to describe it, it sounds very much like it's well worth £75.00

Not many pages apparently.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

It took about four years to write it apparently.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Well it took Joey's mate about 3 billion years to write it
So it comes as no surprise it's a bit light on pages.

Is it the limited edition wipe-clean version?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

From Wikipedia
In 1970, Deacon began to write his autobiography with three friends. Ernie Roberts (who also had cerebral palsy), had been in hospital since the age of ten, and was able to understand Deacon's speech. Roberts listened to Deacon's dictation and repeated it to another patient, Michael Sangster, who wrote it down in longhand. After proof-reading by hospital staff, it was typed by a fourth member of the team, Tom Blackburn, who could neither read nor write, but taught himself to type in order to help. The resulting forty-four page book took fourteen months to write.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

wikipedia memory
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Didn't Deacon make shoes for a while?
I wonder how much a pair of Hi-Tec Deacons would cost?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Does this count as music?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8

If not, then Aesthetic Perfection are the most recent band to make me go "Oooh!"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

christmas bad: coming home from the caribbean (did i mention that i went to the caribbean? well, i went to the caribbean)
christmas good: excellent holiday, looking forward to seeing all my old school friends at home over new year
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I adore the fact that you sent 300 text messages at Christmas, it's given me an amused glow for the morning.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

shush it you!!!
i was mortified when i found out on christmas day morning. i don't think they ALL went, but an embarrassing number did get sent. add this to all the texts that i meant to send, plus a couple of phonecalls, plus checking emails and... it'll be bonus time for the orange staff at my expense!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I can't help it if your antics are calamitous.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

i have no common sense
that is my problem
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I did that about four years ago on holiday in the States
Sent loads of texts, had far too many long conversations late at night with The Climber (who I was seeing at the time). Came home to a very, very large bill.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:23, Reply)

i did it in grenada too
i made a 30 min phone call helping out a friend with a legal issue, the phone bill for that month was over £300.

just checked. for this month so far... £424.

fucking hell.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Ouch.
That is a moumental phone bill.

Can you write off the 300 messages as 'relationship management' and put them on expenses?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

i don't think sending things with kisses on them count.
gash.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Bad: Absolutely nothing, bar the shocking state of the road as I went to pick my Dad up on Chrizmuz eve. I thought I was going to die at one point.
Good: My Dad being here for Chrizmuz and sounding like he's finally getting his shit together.

Music - I honestly haven't heard anything in the last two weeks. Nothing. Zip. Nada.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

well, christmas good
I did almost all of the cooking and, modestly, the food was freaking awesome as opposed to my mothers incredibly hit-or-miss efforts. Christmas bad: been ill, had to suffer my stepbrother who has been round here constantly and who really gets on my tits, and what with one thing or another i've generally been far more grumpy than I like to be at christmas. I have just had 10 hours sleep and woken up to the realisation that I still have another week off though so it's not all bad. Now, if only I could get someone to bring me breakfast in bed...
(berk, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Christmas bad: all the snow's gone before I had a chance to go sledging *pouts*
Christmas good: all the snow's gone so work is considerably less manic.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

We still have loads of the fucking stuff
Although it's now at that state between fresh snow and total slush.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

We now have a combination of slushy melty ice
and a shitload of muck and cack.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

The missus had to dig herself into the estate the other day.
It's fucking shit.

/Monty
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Oh! Yes, that too
*extreme sadfaces*
(berk, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Why not make your own breakfast and then go back to bed with it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

because that's not nearly as much fun
As staying right here toasty between the covers and having a minion bring me a croissant.
(berk, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Have you asked that someone deliver you tea and toast?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

well, no
I know my parents and I can vividly imagine their likely response.
(berk, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I'm guessing it won't be
'Would you like jam or marmalade dear?'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:34, Reply)

do you know the difference between jam and marmalade?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Yes.
I can't marmalade my cock up your mum's ass.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:36, Reply)

yay!
that was exactly the answer I was after
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:37, Reply)

marmalade is citrus
And jam is soft fruits, isn't it?
(berk, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:37, Reply)

no
more cocks
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:38, Reply)

hahaha!
No.
(berk, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Well get up, it's almost lunchtime.
Have some bacon instead.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:43, Reply)

don't wanna!
*wiggles further under the duvet*
(berk, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Well you stay there and miss the whole day.
You'll not sleep this evening.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Christmas good:
Sleeeeeepppp. I have had SO MUCH KIP it’s unbelievable. I’ve been off the drugs and feel pretty darned good. I had a smashing day yesterday, boring the bosoms off Lusty showing her the wonders of Winchester, taking in some beautiful pubs and a lot of historical sites, such as The Railway Inn – scene of Electric Head Funk’s early gigs, as well as some beautiful old buildings etc.

Christmas bad: I’ve been off the drugs and have yet to see my little one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

"boring the bosoms off Lusty "
If you've ruined them I will fucking cut you.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

You couldn't even reach.
You'd do better asking your mate 'Big Cook' to help out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I'm not after having a go on 'em, that would be terribly inappropriate.
I'm happy watching her and TGB go at it.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Spoken like a true gentleman.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I am a man of honour, sir.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:38, Reply)

*replaces duelling glove in pocket, stands down*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:41, Reply)

*mops brow*
Phew. I don't think I could bring myself to risk nicking the blade of your SS sword, so I'd have had to let you run me through.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Bad: My brother's girlfriend's son was the most infuriating child I've encountered in years.

Good: The beef on Boxing day was fucking phenomenal. I also had horseradish with it for the first time, mucking fagnificent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Horseradish is simply magnificent.
It's great in mashed potato and with sausages too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Seconded. Motion passed.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Wholegrain mustard in mash is one of the best things I've ever had

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

sainsbury's do something called tewkesbury mustard, I think it is
Which is mustard, horseradish and possibly something else. Bloody lush it is. Of course, you could just have the condiments separately and mix them together and it'd be exactly the same..
(berk, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I'm buying some of that at lunchtime.
Sounds fucking great.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:35, Reply)

man, I wish I could be arsed to cook

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Horadish in the mustard of 2010.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I've already whinged about christmas
but I did get some bits for a computer and built it (just waiting on the software)

any music is better than what I was listening to last night (I believe it was a mixture of x factor contestants, take that and tiny temper)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

My ears are bleeding just reading that.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

see, I can barely type this out
Given the crippling shame I am feeling, but I actually really like that Olly Murs song. /Feels utterly disgusted with self.
(berk, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I too, am disgusted with you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

That's the guy!
or one of them. I saw the CD cover, he's quite hot, but musically bland
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Agreed
Reminds me of an ex of mine though, so not good really.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Never heard of him.
He has a shit name though.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

He's a bender, Jeff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:35, Reply)

He sounds it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:37, Reply)

one of my workmates
has terrible music taste
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I would have had a temper that could in no way be described as tiny
had I been subjected to that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Christmas good: Having to explain to my mum that Zombie Strippers is not niche porn. Thanks Clenders.
Christmas bad: Almost dying from excessive meat consumption.

I have rediscovered the sonic joy of Polysics.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

i was going to be a zombie stripper
if I got on that plinth in trafalgar square. It's probably best I didn't
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

*shakes head sadly*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:41, Reply)

it was before zombies were cool, mind :)

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:43, Reply)

That could be any time up to and including now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I read that as 'Kaol Simulator'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:54, Reply)

It actually sounds like what I think Kaol's brain would sound like if you plugged it into a huge PA.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Christmas bad: Sister being a reet pain in the arse, and horrible ulcers.
Christmas good: Eh, it's been nice to be at home.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Done any griddling yet?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I have not!
I'd probably griddle halloumi here, due to the veggie nature of my surroundings, but we're going to a greek restaurant tonight so I won't bother!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Griddled halloumi is simply marvellous.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Yup

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:10, Reply)

omg haloumi is awesome
esp with hot pitta and the whipped tzatziki that they do at "as greek as it gets".

fucking new years resolutions. is it time to break them yet?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:14, Reply)

You've made it to nearly the end of the year, so I'd say 'yes'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:16, Reply)

haha
can you break resolutions you haven't made yet though? my january is looking pretty grim with what i have set myself...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Resolutions are for quitters.

Mine are
1. more drugs
2. more drink
3. more lewd and lascivious behaviour
4. treat myself to more records and clothes
5. kill and eat more children
5. more bullying
6. more fucking swearing
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Mine are pretty much the same as ever.
I'll try and find them from last year so I can laugh at how little I've accomplished.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:25, Reply)

So are mine.
Apart from one new addition:

To commit 'the sin of Onan' at the counter of a fast food retailer at least once a week.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:25, Reply)

there was a place in stockport once
called "tasty fish". if it still exists, you should totally do it there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I'm on it.

EDIT hang on, that would mean going to Stockport. If I just post them a sachet of spunk do you think that would count?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Come to Stockport. Like, now.
My parents are out. I'm ready and waiting.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:31, Reply)

It's against my religion.
If I cross the Watford Gap I will burn in the fires of eternal damnation.

Soz bbz
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:34, Reply)

s'ok
I'm back soon.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:35, Reply)

yup
god you would hate stockport. especially "grand central" where "tasty fish" is located (not that grand, and not even in the centre).
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Apparently it exists still
It's near the hat museum. Lolololol.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Here mine are.
1. Lose 2 dress sizes
2. Take my medication regularly
3. Stop being an idiot in social situations
4. Hopefully meet a nice boy
5. Be nicer to people I dislike.

I'd failed all by June of this year. To cap it off I achieved 4, several times, and then it's spent the rest of the year biting me in the ass. And not in the nice way, either.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:28, Reply)

It's not January yet.
CASE IN POINT, go forth and gorge. I expect you to be so hungover on Saturday that you can't move, let alone eat.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:21, Reply)

this i will probably manage to achieve
i bought some of donald trump's golden vodka in duty free, am looking forward to hooning that all night!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I'm going to do nothing but smoke when I get back to London
I have 2 and a half packs of amazing cigarettes. NOM FUCKING NOM.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:30, Reply)

"Donald Trump's golden vodka"
simply HAS to be a euphemism for something stunningly wrong.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

it really isn't
it's a massive golden bottle full of neat vodka. how can something so right be wrong?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I don't bother with resolutions until about Valentine's Day
January is a write-off and my birthday is 7th Feb.
Feel free to adopt my approach to the New Year.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:18, Reply)

maybe i should consider this
at the moment i have cancelled every single social arrangement i had in january (i normally go out every night, so this will kill me) and am planning to give up all booze, go to the gym all 31 days and stick to a 750 calorie a day diet.

it doesn't sound like much fun, does it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Nope.
I am going to walk more and eat less butter.
I cannot lie to myself by promising anything else until January and my birthday are done.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:23, Reply)

You poof.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Absolutely no fun at all.
I'll bet you last less than a week.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:26, Reply)

-clears throat-
You are NOT going to do that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:27, Reply)

oh yes i will.... although i will hate it.......
i am very stubborn when i set my mind to something.

my other resolution is to go harley street to see a man about a boob job. i am fed up with the fact that the rest of me has shrunk satisfactorily following months of starvation and gym-hammering, but my stupid boobs have stayed resolutely outsized. i look like a trumpet and i hate it, bring on the B-cup!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:30, Reply)

I have had an opposite problem (or maybe the same?)
My boobs just don't grow. The rest of me has ballooned and I've stayed the same cup. My back obviously has grown 4 inches in 3 years :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

god lucky lucky you
i gain weight, it goes on my boobs. i lose weight, it comes off my legs/bum. i gain weight, it goes on my boobs. i lose weight, it comes off my legs/bum. lather, rinse, repeat until you are several dress sizes apart and can't wear dresses because you look as if you are breastfeeding.

i went out with my brother the other night and i was wearing skinny jeans with high heeled boots and then a push-up bra and t-shirt. he said, "you look like that strongman from the 'pink panther'" (this is a cartoon character with a massive top half and tiny skinny legs).

something has to be done about this!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:37, Reply)

But, but, even though my tits are technically big, when I get naked they literally look tiny.
I guess this is a problem with my body, not with my boobs.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I reckon if you recorded all that time-lapse style it'd look fucking hilarious.
Especially if it didn't all occur symetrically. I'm on the phone to Trinny and Susannah as we speak.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:44, Reply)

i see the purpose of my tragic life is to amuse you today
heartless unfeeling noel :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Sorry, nothing personal.
I am feeling atrociously playful today.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:49, Reply)

it's ok
it's character-building for me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I'll pay you not to.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:33, Reply)

i'm certainly going to check out the procedure/cost/how small i could make them
i might not go through with it though as i am a total wuss.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:34, Reply)

A friend of mine has had a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery.
If you do get to the point of electing to have a reduction, I can put you in touch with someone who has experience of being under the knife.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:38, Reply)

a double mastectomy?
this might be taking my wish to reduce them a bit too far...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Are you thinking of reducing them 'one at a time'?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I've not had enough of Christmas either.
Christmas bad: My parents' house is like the railway station. No privacy, nobody phones first to see if we're home/in the mood for visitors. My uncle Terry even palmed some of HIS (clinically insane) visitors onto us half an hour before djtp was due to arrive for exchanging presents and rescuing me back to my flat and that.

Christmas good: What's not good about being off work, getting out of bed when you like, drinking when you like, eating for Britain, getting spoiled by your parents, having the fiancé over for a whole week, catching up with people you like, and the house being all twinkly and cosy? And Tigger.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Your parents' house is freezing cold and stinks of piss?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:17, Reply)

And full of common folk, don't forget

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Mentally ill common people DO roam its corridors.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:20, Reply)

No, but it's got a Sainsbury's Local in the corner, by the kiosk.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:19, Reply)

All that sounds good to me, you lead such an eventful life, reading about it is like watching an episode of the best soap in the world.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:18, Reply)

You mocking me?
I was shitting in case our Terry's sister-in-law was still there in time to take all her kit off and tell my bf that God loves him!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:21, Reply)

If I were you'd know.
It sounds like fun, and at least you've got a story to tell.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:24, Reply)

There is never a dull moment, I have to say.
Me and my mum were running around upstairs convincing ourselves my Dad deserved to deal with the mentals because he was the one who offered them a drink.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Your parents' house is full of runaways and beggars?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Every five minutes a fat retard blows a whistle?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:20, Reply)

No, but she makes us play charades, god love 'er.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:22, Reply)

You get interupted by "proffessional beggars"?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Right then
Christmas bad: Having the shits from the 23rd through to late on the 27th, ensuring that all of Christmas was interrupted by the fact that everything I ate and drank would re-appear in under 90 minutes. In that time, I consumed two small glasses of wine as my only alcohol. Christmas was not "merry" at all, in drinking terms.

Christmas good: Had a nice meal with my brother, his girlfriend and a mutual friend on Christmas Day, good food and good company. My presents were well received, which is always nice too.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Two and maybe three people have died on Hollyoaks in the space of a week !
In that respect, my christmas was awesome.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Nancy is about to be serial murdered though, which would suck, 'cus I fancy her something rottern.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Alright sir?
I owe you a gaz reply which you shall have today.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:31, Reply)

No worries mate, even forgot about it =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:42, Reply)

I have just remembered more bad.
It seems my parents have decided that every year, at Christmas, I shall be subjected to at least two hours of relentless Scandinavian grimness. Last year, a Wallander episode where, barring the title character, everyone was a paedophile, covering up for a paedophile or a murderous alcoholic who shot paedophiles in the face then topped himself. This year, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Watching graphic rape scenes with your mother, good times.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:36, Reply)

You just just sigh and go "Brings back memorys, aye, the good old days".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I fear my erection was painfully obvious.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:48, Reply)

I always think people will notice when I get a stiffy in public place.
But thankfully it's so tiny that people don't seem to notice.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:51, Reply)

AAARRRGGGG!!!!
I hate cold weather - it dries out my skin and now the cheeks of my bum are itchy as hell because I'm wearing jeans. FUCK!
*scratches*
*puts hand down jeans*
*scratches more*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:52, Reply)

OK is anyone else finding this remotely arousing?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Dry skin
it's hawt.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Mmmmm, flaky.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Strangely, no flakes
Just plain dry rather than temptingly moist.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 13:01, Reply)

don't...stop.....nearly there.......

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Please sir! Me sir!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Loving the fact that it's 'remotely' arousing
Haven't lost it!
*figgure tringers*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 13:02, Reply)