Who was the best Nazi?
I find it hard to choose but Himmler was fucking ace because of his crackpot occultism and his incredible round-table-based chamber at Wewelsburg Castle. I like Rommel too but I'm not sure about his Party credentials, and suspect him to have been merely a German soldier doing his job.

Who is best?

Alt: you can execute one British television personality with impunity. Who do you choose and why? PS Vernon Kay is MINE.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:50, 202 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Bono

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Last of the great Nazis.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Can execution be by any means?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Yes, please specify.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Goes into Cluedo mode...
I'd kill.

Bobby Davro, with the Winnie Mandela football team and the burning tyres around his neck move, on the set of Family Fortunes.

He is NOTHING without Dustin Gee. NOTHING.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Best Nazi - General Erich Von Klinkerhoffen
and I'd kill Shane Ritchie EDIT: Hanged, drawn and quartered
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Who was the cross dressing one in 'Allo 'Allo?
He was cool.

Anyone from Hollyoaks.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Easy question
MECHA HITLER
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)

oh god you sound like my ex
his dad, who was about 55 when he was born, was in the SS (and subsequently an allied prisoner of war camp, don't think that was any picnic either). he moved here after the war and it was v v hard to believe he was german at all, he looked and sounded like such an old english gent.

but my ex bloody LOVED it. he was racist, esp anti-semitic, mostly because there are a lot of very successful jewish lawyers and he blamed this on his own lack of partnership (rather than his own alcoholism and other Issues). he would get hammered and sit there crooning on and on and on about that one who packed his bags to flee and took the entire german stash of cocaine with him, and mengele, and all his "blue eyed brothers" and the "amazing work" they did in trying to stamp out judaism... god it was disgusting and infuriating!

as for tv personality, i'd use mengele's technique to sew davina and terry wogan together and then kill them both. with fire.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)

That's fascinating.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)

i suspect sarcasm :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

You suspect wrong.
There's a doubtless fascinating and largely untold story to be told about the Allied camps.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

oh good!
the story i DID like was that his mother was found in a drawer in an air raid shelter in liverpool after an air raid. she was a very newborn baby. it explains a lot about him.

yeah, he had a lot of stories. unlike my grandad (i never met him) who won a fistful of medals but stuffed them in the loft along with the accordion that he carried all over europe throughout the whole 6 years of the war and would never ever talk about it, according to my dad.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

....he insisted on singing about it instead,
accompanied by the dismal sound of his accordion.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)

I'd have fucked off the instant he opened his mouth, he sounds a right cunt.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

he was my boss
i was stuck with him. then he became a habit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

You wore his skin, and pretended to be a Nun?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

excellent

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

How long were you together with this guy after you met his father?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

too long
i have the WORST taste in men.

which is why the potential will doubtless turn out to be some sort of axe murderer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Didn't you suspect him of being a nazi before you got together.
The shiny shoes, always clicking his heels? And that is just below the knees.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Walt Disney is my fave
Alt Q:Ant/Dec, can they count as one?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Both great choices, and yes, go on then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Don't trust him Bob.
He says you can have both of them, then, when you've got blood on your hands he'll shout 'Psyche!'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)

While I watch him wreck the mike?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

I will incorporate paintball into my routine too

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I canne see man!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

In a homage to their TV work I intend to make them guess what implement they
are going to be tortured with next and force feed them poop.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Prince Harry
alt: Piers Morgan with the pliers and blowtorch (although I have to question whether the talentless little wank-stain constitutes a 'personality' in any sense).
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)

This isn't a nice thread.
Where have all the nice threads gone, offtopic has changed :(
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Monty sent them to the work camps

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Reeducation camps surely?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

It needs more links to the BBC website.
Because without these links, I'd never think to check it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

nice threads, offtopic has changed cowboys
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Then Monty came for the nice threads
but I didn't like nice threads, so I said nothing.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

This is all your fault
if you hadn't gone and got all maternal this wouldn't have happened.

How is dd? Does she still have a leaky ear?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Yep. The bedsheets are turning yellow and crusty.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

You need a hero

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

*pulls fingers into corners of eyes*
'Herro!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Hahahaha!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Harrow is full of chinese people
Because they all get in the taxi at teh airport and say "Harro Driver!"
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

My uncle Henry was a taxi driver.
He kept taking them to the Thames for the boat race.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger, no doubt about it
Alt: Russell Brand, or Alan Carr. Because they're both cunts.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Alt: Graham Norton. Or Michael McIntire. Or whatever. Can't spell.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Alt: Eamonn Holmes.
Fucking useless obsequious slimy fat cunt.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)

He's one of yours. Have him back.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

There's no room for him. He ate all your pies.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

After eating all your potatoes?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

What potatoes?
/bitter
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

This is the best subthread
in AGES.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Exactly

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Can't he share a room with Bobby Sands?
They'd balance each other out, I think.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

In what way? I mean, Eamonn Holmes is full of shit, whereas in Bobby...oh, I think I get it now

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Werner Von Braun was a good Nazi
He didn't directly kill anyone and sent the yanks to the moon. What a hard working engineering genius.

*brushes V2 under the carpet*
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

He just helped design the V1 and V2,

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

I think you could say he was significant on the V2
Not really the V1, that was an aeroplane and didn't have a rocket.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Alt: Fearne Cotton
Who the fuck invented her?

Standard procedure: A kick to the cunt to incapacitate, rip her skin off, chop her into tiny bits, set the bits on fire, post them to her maker.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I love her.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Which makes you a complete retard.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)

she is so hot.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Looking at Fearne Cotton
is like looking at an axe-head, face on.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

What the fuck are you talking about?
She's 'meh' at best and talks like a complete mongol.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

She does it for me. Who can explain personal preference?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I think that was established a while back...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)

stop being bitter emo.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

How cute, you've picked up on a meme!
*pats on head*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I like how you can't stop and just walk away...
...like an emo.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

I'm sorry I posted an 'intimate picture' of you in the last thread.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

If my chuff looked that tasty
I'd be fighting the boys off.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)

<img src="http://www.hot-screensaver.com/wp-myimages/bones.jpg" width="230" height="175" />
Change your image to that?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

No
You change your image to that. I don't want to make mine any smaller.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

See, it's boring and small
and doesn't look like Bellas mimsy at all.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Damned Youtube
Now everyone knows what it looks like.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Ha, that's disgustingly brilliant.
*click*
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Hold up a moment, I'm supprised nobody else has noticed this, "hot-screensaver.com" ? What kind of sicko wants that as their screen saver?

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I did, and more than a little perturbed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)

No votes for Speer?
Bryan Ferry will be gutted.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

So many, Kaltenbrunner seems like a fairly stand up kindof guy
You can't beat kangaroo courts.
Von Manstein, again had talent, but lacked belief in the will of the fuhrer.
Rudolf Hess - what the hell was that man on?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Hess was 'proper menkle'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)

crackpot occultism wins it for me
does Kerry Katona count? I'd just beat her to death with my fists and feet.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I'd go with one of the Rudolf Hesses. The one that survived the war.
He was incarcerated after the war as the only prisoner in Spandau prison, due to his attempt to broker a peace deal with the West against Hitler's wishes. His guards rotated between British, Russian, American and French as part of their job-sharing of Berlin.

My grandpa used to go and have tea with him. Said he was erudite and polite.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Yeah thanks for explaining who Rudolf Hess was.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

There were two of them
some people may not be as up on the whole Nazi ouevre as you.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

No there weren't.
You're thinking of the commandant of Auschwitz. His name was Hoess NOT Hess.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Sir Oswald Mosley.
At least he was one of 'ours' and not a forrin.

Alt - James Corden. I would encase him in a glass box at a 24 hour McDonalds and starve the fat over-exposed cunt.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Oh your alt. Yes. Yes.
Maybe have burgers passing in front of him. But they're made out of the people he loves and that cunt Horne.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Oh Lampers...
You have a beautiful mind. Next time I have killing spree you are so 'in'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Could not agree with your alt answer more
I fucking despise that cunt.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

He is a piggy-eyed tub of wobbly shit.
Not unlike your good self.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Of course you realise this means war...

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Will Monty have to dress as an Orc?
LARP LOLS!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

*builds brick barbecue in self-defence*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

*narrows eyes* Touché, old man
Range war it is then.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Get him to invade somewhere cold
His lot are fucking shit at that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Poland's cold.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I've revise
cold fucking freezing, ridiculously large and overpopulated with willing cannon fodder

Better?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Paolo Di Canio
Alt: Only ONE? Can I have one weapon of choice instead? And is it considered bad taste to wipe out a TV charity telethon, killing thousands of innocent people in the process with said weapon (A NUCLEAR FUCKING BOMB) just so I can kill Len Goodman, Michael McIntrye, Jamie Oliver, Russell Brand, James Corden, Bruce Forsyth, Tess Daly and Chris Hollins in one fell swoop?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I've actually got quite a lot of respect for Jamie Oliver, even if he does irritate the hell out of me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

yeah, I think he's alright
and it amuses me the way he says "and a splash of olive oil" before pouring a whole bottle over everything
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Have you ever played the Jamie Oliver drinking game?
Every time he uses olive oil, you drink spirits for as long as he pours.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

christ
I don't have that kind of tolerance any more
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I will play this at some point, I'm determined!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Me too
but not as much as when he says 'wazz it all together', blissfully unaware that the word means to urinate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)

have you heard the Cassette Boy Jamie Oliver thing?
it's amazingly funny. Particularly the bit where it says "I'm going to whack my old man right up his alley"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I think that's one of his best

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

it almost brings a tear of laughter to my eye just remembering it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Linky please

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)

am horribly restricted on the internet while on secondment
you could probably youtube it.

cassetteboy - joliver
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I must remember to look at that when not at work
Thanks for the tip
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Cheers mate

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRLqLACXFC8
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

GARLIC PRESSER ! GARLIC PRESSER ! OH GOD, MY LOVELY GARLIC PRESSER !
I really like him, but I'm pretty sure in _every_ eppisode of "30 minutes" he mentions his garlic presser.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

that's because it is a time saving device
the show is aimed to prove to idiots that you can make nice food and healthy food in a short time, and inexpensively. They need the point rammed home.

Like Al's mum.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Oh, so have I
I think it's fantastic that he's using his celebrity for a decent cause, it'd be much easier for him to not bother. He's still an ugly fat-tongued cunt though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Not at all
They'll only be raising some money for a complete waste of time anyway.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Thank you
Now if I could just have those launch codes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

*gazzes*

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Comic Relief's coming up
Try to keep Russell Howard away from it, I like him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

If I had any sway over the TV comedy scene
It would look a lot different. So, even though I agree with you, I can't promise anything.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

In my head, you're saying this in the style of Dick Emery

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

I love that scene in Casablanca.
When the Nazis are singing, and the Frenchies kick in with their anthem.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

"Retreat"?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

"Surrender" by Cheap Trick

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)

"Run For The Hills" Iron Maiden

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Status Quo's
'Roll over lay down'

I WIN
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Dido's 'White Flag'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

you would have won with The Quo
but by showing that you know the name of a Dido song you have now jeopardised everything you say from here on.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I have to admit
I am stunned that you're prepared to admit that in this forum
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

are you talking to me?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Nah mate
Monty "Everything modern and mainstream is fucking shit" Boyce
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Know your enemy, I always say.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Taxidriverlolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I've met her brother - he is an utter penis.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)

The one out of Faithless with the absurd name?
Rollo, or summat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

That's the chap. Complete helmet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Apparently he repeatedly informed his sister that she didn't have what it takes to make it as a pop star
Good call, genius
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

that cunt Eminem is to blame

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

I have to say I would have said the same.
Her success is a fucking enigma.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Not really
Her voice had a haunting quality which was fairly unusual at the time and her songs struck a chord with a certain post-millennium ennui. The fact that she milked this particular one-trick pony for a whole two albums is harder to explain
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

what you will find happened is that she released an album
no one bought it. Eminem sampled it. Loads of people bought it because they are morons.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

God you're bent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I was quite pleased with that one
Not only does it make vague sense, it's almost so gay as to come all the way back round into straight again
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

that can never happen
look at that fucking shitcunt, oxygen thief Louis Spence. I would gleefully stamp his face into some astroturf until it was flat.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Talking of helmets.
I have a meeting at a place called Bell End in Worcestershire.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Photo of road sign essential.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Will do,
Might stop off at Twatt on the way.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

by Cutty Ranks?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Is that Shabba's brother?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

"Dunkirk".

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

"Don't let's be beastly to the Germans".
Noel Coward.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Hipster Hitler.
tinyurl.com/5wdqxf9
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Does Leni Riefenstahl count?
She says she wasn't a Nazi, but was just following orders.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

That's my daughter's nickname.
When her mother proposed the name I said nothing and smirked for Britain on the inside.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)

"Smirked for Britain".
Love it.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Dump update (dumpdate?)
Second attempt much more satisfactory. England's attack still in need of a good bucking up. Jimmy is bowling like a mong
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)

I understand all those words individually
Together - nothing.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Cricket
I thought as a Yorkshire lass you would understand
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Well, I thought it was cricket
Cricket confuses and bores me though.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I thought it was a religion round your way?
So my Dad tells me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

No
The three main religions are Catholicism, real ale and casual racism.

I'm an atheist.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Shows what I know
So that's what I've been doing wrong? Why every time I visit Bradford I get stared at like I'm some kind of freakshow?

Oh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

omg
so yahoo tells me that this woman has been caught out for benefit fraud. by posting pics of her wedding in barbados on facebook.

she had also been going to turkey 3 times a year on holiday whilst getting the dole, housing benefit, council tax benefit...... fuck the celeb execution, let's torture this thieving bitch instead! why the blue fuck does she think we want to work our nuts off so she can afford a wedding in barbados on the back of our fucking tax? arrrrgh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

She should be heated and compressed until she becomes a diamond that can pay off her debt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

ooh i like this

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

All criminal punishments should contain some sense of irony

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I like this
I think there's enormous mileage to be had here. Like anyone caught speeding has to stand at the side of the motorway holding a camera. We'd all love a GATSO who feels pain.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

that's a great idea

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Thank you
Start a thread about it, Apey
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

start your own fucking thread

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Who the fuck's talking to you, boy?
/Brick Top
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)

you fucking prat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I'm off to watch Snatch Wars again

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

It's OK, I've sorted it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Why the fuck did I just Google that postcode?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:17, Reply)

There is very little justice in the world
People get away with all sorts of outrageous and illegal acts. I read a great article about the astronomical levels of fraud and theft that happens in Wall Street, and how not a single one of the people responsible will ever see the inside of a jail.
Vigilantism is the only way forward.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I fucking hate people like that
Because they are the ones that people think about when they think about people on benefits. Not the ones who actually fucking need it, and are shafted when some reactionary bullshit comes through on the back of those stories, and demonised for no reason other than they are on the same benefits that some utter cunt stole.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Or they could just get off their slobby arseholes and get a job

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I highly doubt she'd be able to afford it on the dole
Even if she did, the reason dole's not paid in vouchers is so people can use it on whatever stupid shit they want (like that cunt with the skull face tattoo last week).

More likely she was claiming incapacity or something like that. Which would mean that other claimants can't work.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Given my current parlous financial state
the fact that I've been paying for such activity with my taxes particularly sticks in my craw.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)

exactly
and does this fucking useless waste of skin think i WANT to get up at 6.30 every day to to work for 14 hours plus a hefty chunk of weekends just to pay for her fucking wedding? what a skanky thieving sack of shite.

would she lift the cash out of my wallet, i wonder. she'd probably be outraged at the suggestion (or maybe not!), but it is absolutely no different.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

The law society wants to encourage me to be a Judge
lollers
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

i for one would support this interesting and challenging initiative

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Didn't you get the circular? After five years qualification you can apply
Oh man, I could skateboard into work. I'm afraid that I'd prejudge everything and there would be very little justice in my court, fuck yeah!!11!
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Go for it.
I think you have all the right qualities.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Being a closet nazi helps no end I imagine
Bet you have to be a fucking freemason as well, dunno if I fancy that
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:17, Reply)

freemason pederast
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Don't say that, Barry will laud her as a hero

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Where's Al with a comment from the left?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I'll stand in for him
She deserves to have a nice wedding. She's probably legitimately entitled to most of those benefits. One cunt does not prove a system wrong. In fact we should give MOAR benefits to these hapless and unfortunate people

*feels sick*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

even if she is entitled to all those benefits
surely it amounts to too much.

I'm in a fairly well paid job and I can't afford to do all that shit. I can barely afford to get married and keep my car on the road.

I'll caveat this by saying that if I assume that she is totally entitled to all of it and hasn't committed fraud or anything and is a nice person, I feel quite uncomfortable suggesting it is too much. Which is unlike me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Yeah, but she didn't pay for it all out of her benefits
Hubby did - hence the problem - she was claiming she was a single mother.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

that bitch

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Have you a link?
Can't find it.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I could only find the Daily mail or Mirror
Google facebook benefit fraud
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

4 months nick?
Then again, she's been done before, for more or less the same thing.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

it just came up as the lead story on www.yahoo.co.uk
try that!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

There is only 1 answer to the best Nazi...
And I cant be bothered to check if he has been mentioned...
Pope Benedict XVI,
A classic product of the youth set up, managed to hoodwink himself into a "saintly" profession
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Adolf Eichmann.
He got the trains to run on time.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:20, Reply)