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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning OT
I heard there was some racism going on over here so I turned up to tell you off.

Shame on you.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:44, 197 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Shame on you for invading other countries.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:45, Reply)
I have never invaded another country
nor condoned the invasion of another country by the armed forces of the country in which I live by chance of birth.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)
So you don't support the troops, then?
Nothing worse than a self hating Brit.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:50, Reply)
I don't hate myself.
I disagreed with a decision of the government.
As for supporting the troops, I'm not sure what this means.
Obviously I hope that our armed forces can complete their objectives in safety and provide better lives for people living in other countries.

I support them, not the decision to deploy them.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:53, Reply)
For this support I suggest the Queen names you Royal Wormulus

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:55, Reply)
I'm not sure how I would feel receiving an honour from the Queen herself.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:58, Reply)
Give her a handshake and a peck on the cheek, sorted
She'll be happy with that
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:00, Reply)
No racism here.
We're too busy being homophobic.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)
It looks like I arrived just in time.


Shame on you.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Racism week is booked in for next week
We are all about the gays this week.

Sexist comments the week after next everyone?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Oh dear

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Dull racist homophobes, eh?
Sounds like what we really need is b3ta.com/bnp.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)
I've no idea what the BNP's views on homosexuality are.
I'm going to take a wild guess and say that the political party has no say on the matter.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)
I believe it is mandatory

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Thank you clarifying the matter.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:55, Reply)
They are a bunch of dull racists though.
I reckon Nick Griffin's had one up the bot-bot in his time.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:55, Reply)
I reckon he pops out his glass eye
and lithe young German boys give him a sound 'socketting'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)
One in the eye

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:58, Reply)
In your own time, lad.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Sloppy eye seconds are where its at

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)
I started it. I'm very sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Why?

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:48, Reply)
For the attention that he is now getting.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)
I'm trying to help him.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:50, Reply)
I'm afraid I thought it was funny.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:51, Reply)
I guess you don't have gay friends to tell you what's right or wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:54, Reply)

gay
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Gays can't tell right from wrong.
Just like women can't tell right from left.

/science
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Do they have to write it on their hands to remind them?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Yes, except they always get it wrong.
The farce that ensues when they try to give directions to motorists is simply hilarious.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:58, Reply)
I woke up one morning after drinking and I'd labelled my feet with "R" and "L"
thankfully they WERE the right way round.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Yeah.
But that was 'red bull' and 'lambrini'.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:00, Reply)
*golf clap*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Lambrini is the thing that gave me a hangover so bad I wanted to kill myself.
/ac

Makes an excellent mixer though.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)
How? It's about 3% alcohol.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)
I thiiiink it might have been the wine, gin, beer, shots and then the lambrini
but I still blame the lambrini.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Ah.
Like my brother's 'bad pint' theory. The first 14 are fine then suddenly he's made a little sick. Bad pint innit.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:21, Reply)
It's ALWAYS a bad pint.
Or a dodgy kebab/burger/pizza.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:24, Reply)
You're forgetting, my mother is a raving bender.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:56, Reply)
NO I'M BETTER EQUIPPED TO TELL YOU WHAT'S HOMOPHOBIC
I, LIKE, HAVE 3 FRIENDS WHO ARE GAY
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Making your cruelty all the more upsetting,

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)
I'd be upset, too
if I found out that the bloke I called 'Dad' was, in fact, a hirsute, 6 ft 3" mountain of woman called Shona and that my real dad was actually some anonymous ejaculate courtesy of a turkey baster.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:08, Reply)
That was not a good day.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)
At least the internet gets to share your pain though, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:19, Reply)
*ahem*

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)
do you still have that moustache?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Well, YOU know nothing about gays, do you?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:58, Reply)
Crude, offensive sterotyping;
Arbitrary dislike of people from other countries; and
Intolerance of the cultural celebrations of people from different backgrounds to your own.

None of these are laughing matters.


Shame on you.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Chastened. That's what I am.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:58, Reply)
You have taken the first step on the road to being a good person.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Have I logged onto the wrong website today?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:00, Reply)
You know, I've just had a proper read of his thread,
and it's essentially 'boo hoo I once went to a pub celebrating a national holiday and felt slightly uncomfortable.'
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)
It was essentially
I am a racist.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Well that too.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)
You get used to him
He's a bit like that ranting, gropey Uncle that everyone has, the one who just won't die no matter how much rat poison you put in his tea.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)
oh god, why won't he die Lab?
please just make him go away
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)
He's a resilient bastard
He makes Rasputin look like a premiership footballer.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:08, Reply)
he's got to have some weakness
stab him in the heel, see if that helps
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:08, Reply)
I'll get a servant to cut his hair
Samsonlolz
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)
I had an uncle like that.
We had him killed.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)
That's unclist.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Are you going to start using your usual material? Because if you are I want you to give me a minute to get some popcorn and a comfy chair.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)
I don't think that Monty's comments are arbitrary.
They are highly focussed, on everybody.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)
The choice of which ethnicity to hate seemed arbitrary.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)
equal opportunities bigotry

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)
You have got some serious moves

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)
I'm not sure how I feel
being complimented by a racist.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:54, Reply)
What a lovely brown shirt you are wearing.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:56, Reply)
How dare you tar me with that brush, sir
I happened to merely be on here when all this racism kicked off. I'm an innocent bystander.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)
I heard off-topic is just an outpost of the EDL
Just saying likes
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:51, Reply)
no, it's EDF
we've had to join forces with an energy company to power our all night WoW sessions and our refrigerators
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)
No, it's KLF
uh-huh UH-HUH!
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:00, Reply)
EMF?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:00, Reply)
WTF?

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Unbelievable

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Unbelievable...
*Mindpiss*

Fucking slow running computer.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)
ha

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)
It's all about the minecraft now you fahkin n00b

(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Oh man I been doing some minecrafting
I minecrafted the shit out of some blocks
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)
I've been making fucking bookshelves,
they don't look that great :(
(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)
We've got a minecraft server going with some guys at work
All I've built is towers up to the skybox, over and over

No imagination
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)
I built a massive hilltop fortress
It was impregnable, however spiders kept spawning inside my gardens, no matter how many torches I had around the place.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)
I wandered through a tunnel yesterday and died suddenly
Turns out slimes were spawning in the walls and were so big they could hit me through the sides
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)
It can be brutal
I learnt the hard way not to dig at your feet, when I fell into a massive cavern.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Oh yeah
dig
dig dig
dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig SHIT *weeeeeeeeee*
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)
I have learned not to dig at all,
because as soon as you've got loads of good stuff from exploring giant cave systems, A MILLION ZOMBIES will appear and kill you. Or I might just be shit.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Random innit
I had a room in the bottom of the mine beneath my fortress that comprised solely of a 'throne' surrounded by a moat of lava. That made me happy.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:15, Reply)
I was incredibly pleased when I discovered how to make a bed.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:17, Reply)
You need a computer game for that?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:26, Reply)
I made a tower
WITH A BLUE ROOF
(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)
I am constructing a Minecraft version of Petra.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)
My mates want to recreate the hanging gardens of babylon.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:10, Reply)
When I've finished I think I'm probably just going to kill myself.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Internet bloke in 'shit at DIY shocker'.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)
I built a bookcase using only a garlic press once
I was most proud of my DIY skillz
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Minecraft appears to be virtual Lego
*shakes head*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)
You never sent me that Gaz

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Have you bought the game?
I thought I did...
(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)
I've just bought it now
Just so I can troll it.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Ha ha, I'll get you my ip address when I get home.
And make sure you're just an observer.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)
I have no idea what you are talking about

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)
It's an exceptionally addictive game

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Really? I just don't see the appeal.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)
BUILDING STUFF is the appeal.
REALLY BIG STUFF.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:14, Reply)
And then crying in a hole because you're lost and there's a creeper and it's dark.
Waaah
(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:15, Reply)
I like creepers, you can get them to do the excavating for you.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Watch the Yogscast minecraft stuff on youtube
it's very funny.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:16, Reply)
I saw a video ages ago, before I think the new release came out
where a guy tried to put a fire in his fireplace and burnt his whole house down. Or something. I guess it's a more geeky Sims?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:21, Reply)
I'm not racist but the country's full init
people are piled on top of each other, forced to walllow in each other's filth and unable to easily find well paid fulfilling jobs for which no qualifications or experience is needed, unbelievable.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)
we'd be better off getting rid of some of the english
there's an easy way to do it. Just get rid of everyone who shops in Asda and Iceland
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)
That's me off then.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)
But Asda has "oops"
11p doughnuts FTW
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)
I got a whole duck in Asda for 2p last year.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:10, Reply)
I am impressed with this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:10, Reply)
I was, I must say.
I also got three steaks for the grand sum of about 80 pence and some pork chops for about 40p on the same shopping trip. I think I saved about £30!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:18, Reply)
My normal Asda vists are around 9pm once kids are asleep, washing up done, etc.
Oops FTW! I got £12 worth of smoked salmon for 90p last time.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Are you sure it wasn't a very small chicken?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)
With a beak taped on

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Chickens already have beaks silly.
*googles pic of chicken just to make sure*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Ducks have smiley beakes
trufax
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:15, Reply)
This makes me smile too
I must be a duck
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:20, Reply)
This duck is wearing a little yellow dog mask instead of a beak...

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:22, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHA!
Brilliant

Woof, I mean QUACK
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:23, Reply)
hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:23, Reply)
It was definitely a duck.
It even came with pancakes and hoi sin sauce.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)
A stealth chicken

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:21, Reply)
I did my shopping in Iceland once.
Rekyavik's a fucking shithole, I must say.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)
LTI

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)
No.
I don't get here very often through the day and am therefore going to savour the precious time we have together.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)
The door is to your right.
Kindly close it behind you upon exiting.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)
I refer the 'honorable' 'gentleman' to my reply above.
*Blows raspberry*
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Is Rasberry your pet dog?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:16, Reply)
ha ha hah proper offfice lol

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:17, Reply)
You're confusing me with Jeff, Monters.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Raspberry is a local tramp

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I shop in ASDA, so does my Ma', it's big and local to us, they got most of the stuff we need.
I don't see why you think myself and my ma' need to be thrown out of the country, I know you're implying it's because we're retarded for shopping there, but I think that is really unfair. Ooooohhh, sorry, some of your best friends sometimes shop in ASDA, didn't realise, that's OK then.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:21, Reply)
I once went to KFC and a black guy served a zinger tower burger but he forgot the Zinger sauce, I'm not saying he is representative of all black people, some black people don't want to cheat me out of zinga sauce, but this one gave the rest a bad name.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)
He was probably on drugs.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)
I'm not saying that all black people are on drugs, but I was watching the newspaper and they showed a black guy who was getting chemo and I'm not saying that all black people are on drugs, but this black guy deffo was on drugs.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Just a coincidence? I think not.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:15, Reply)
I don't know, it could a coincidance that a black guy is black _and_ that he's on drugs.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:19, Reply)
I love you, Gonz.
Not in a gay way, but a manly, back-slapping, towel-whipping, rugby-tackling way. In a shower.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Not
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:25, Reply)
THATS THE JOKE!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)
I'm glad he's not dead. I was worried this morning
I mean it's my birthday this weekend and the last thing I want to be doing is faffing around with dead bodies in my flat, I mean I have people coming over and everything I don't want them to thimnk I make a habit of living with dead people.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)
They'd think you were some kind of 'Jimmy Savile' character.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Good morning.
I have just posted a parcel of awesome to you.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:33, Reply)
OH MY GOD I MAY EXPLODE
But I won't because then I won't get to see what's in it *GLESS hard*

Is it an envelope of stiffhardon?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)
Unfortunately that would be a bit sloppy and probably soak through the jiffy bag..
Otherwise it TOTALLY WOULD HAVE BEEN!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:37, Reply)
cunts at the post office would probably have scoffed it

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:37, Reply)
I'm very pleased I'm not dead, can you imagine how bad that would be !
So much stuff would have to be sorted out, I know someone who died once and it was such bother, I wished they hadn't gone and done that now.

Oddly enough, I hoped you or me didn't kill ourselves yesterday too: www.b3ta.com/talk/7136253
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:41, Reply)
Mind you, mind you, if I was to die today, it would be the perfect time, as there are no good stories in Hollyoaks at the moment.
I'd quite like to wait to see what the iPhone 5 is all about, then I think I'll be alright.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:44, Reply)
No, I want to see the next playstation portable thing and give it a go, we'll wait 'till then, around christmas.
But then christmas is a bad time to go, 'cus then it'll be all OH WOE IS ME at that time of the year, I'd say give it a month, maybe feb 2012? I'd then quite like to see the olympics and the iPad 3, around April then.... oh wait, iPhone 6, that's bound to be awesome. But I think after then I'm OK.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:46, Reply)
I'd get a skip outside your window and throw everything out
I may make a bash of it :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Yeh', but you'd have to learn how to put the videos on the PS3, seems like a lot of effort to just for killing someone.
And who else will remind you at 8 o'clock in the evening that you really really fancy some Galaxy? You'd have to set a reminder in your phone, probs best I stay alive.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:55, Reply)
I wasn't going to kill you
I was worried you may have had a dream about owning a pug farm and the excitement followd by the crushing disappointment of reality may have killed you
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:58, Reply)
I did have a really osbcure dream involving a a dinosaur version of angry birds, cannons and some sort of boarding school... only it wasn't a video game, it was real.
and I woke up at one point thinking "OH WOW, THAT WAS COOL".
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:00, Reply)
ASIANS IN THE LIBRARY
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoLLEZlpUxk
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:22, Reply)
I no sound at work : (

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:25, Reply)
I read that in a racist Asian voice.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:31, Reply)
Well,
Harrow...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)
The fundamental problem is
that unless someone starts some mildly inflammatory shit then everyone craps on about what they are 'nomming' for lunch* and it makes me want to die.

*Soup, crackers and cheese, seeing as you asked.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:30, Reply)
YOU DISGUST ME!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:33, Reply)
I'm going to be eating toast for lunch.
Maybe with jam, but I may treat myself to peanut butter. I like it when it sticks to the roof of your mouth and you can spend ages trying to lick it all off.

Maybe I'll go all out and have peanut butter and jam! OMG can you imagine lolwakilunchlols
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:34, Reply)
I had a peanut butter sammich last night for supper.
Truefact!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:34, Reply)
I had an individual beef wellington followed by treacle tart and ice cream

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)
posh twat
I do like a bit of peanut butter. Smooth or chunky BGB?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Transl:
'I drank brackish pondwater and turps out of an unsavoury individual's wellington. My mother works as a tart'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:37, Reply)
I was in a restaurant...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:37, Reply)

restaurant skip round the back of Great Portland St tube. People kept weeing in it when I was trying to sleep but it warmed me up and I was really pissed on turps so I just laid there in the wee-wee waiting for morning. It was just a normal day in the life of NakedApe.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Is 'chunky BGB' a variety of peanut butter?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:38, Reply)
I want to say if it was I'd be all over that
Then I worried BGB may think I'm calling her chunky. Then I realised there was a joke about licking BGB out then I laughed and my boss asked why so I had to mumble peanut better and now he's gone
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Hahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Celulite joke.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Smooth FTW!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:46, Reply)
Pedo

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Sticky chinese pork sandwich, chicken, ham and morrocon hummus sandwich
banana, tangerines and a yogurt
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)
Has anyone tried that new HP Sauce made with Guinness?
It's quite tangy I must say.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)
I bought a bottle of HP sauce the other day.
10p a week for 12 weeks.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:48, Reply)
Similarly..
I wanted some chips for me dinner the other day, but I'd run out of sauce so had nip down to the local shop.

"I'd like a bottle of sauce" I said.

"HP?" asked the wifey.

"No, I'll pay for it now".
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:50, Reply)
I found out who'd been nicking my beetroots.
I caught 'em red-handed.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:53, Reply)
The wife works in a school.
She came home one day and said "there's a new lad started in class today; he's from Nigeria".

"Nigeria?" I said. "Where's that, then"?

"Dunno" said the wife, "but it can't be far; he goes home for his lunch".
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:58, Reply)
Oh God!
*facepalms*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:58, Reply)
WHAT???

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:00, Reply)
I dont get this
/stupid
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:01, Reply)
Which one?
Edit: HP = Hire Purchase.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:02, Reply)
No, the Nigeria one

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:17, Reply)
It's funny because Nigeria is FAR AWAY!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Then I did get it

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:16, Reply)
Too much of *that*, Jeff.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:51, Reply)
*Voms on carpet shoes*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:51, Reply)
Feeling better today?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:52, Reply)
Much better thanks Blousie.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:53, Reply)
I'm glad to hear that : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:56, Reply)

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