Annoying habits of humans.
1. Chewing with your mouth open and sounding like a horse crunching on a carrot. GROSS. It makes me gag.
2. Slurping the very last bit of liquid from your cup, or at least trying to.
3. Saying "Aaahhh" after number 2.

State your pet hates.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 20:58, 201 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Being threadstomped? :)
I'll delete it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 20:58, Reply)

But if you were, for any reason interested in it. It was as follows.
The Apprentice is about to start.
Buzz-word-bingo-tastic!

How many of the candidates do you expect to take an immediate dislike to?

Alt: What are you doing this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 20:59, Reply)

I've never been interested in watching it.
alt: washing clothes, cooking, keeping my dog occupied, etc
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:00, Reply)

That sucks if you've got to get rid of Echo.
Do you have any friends who might be able to take her?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:01, Reply)

no ='(

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:10, Reply)

What will you do?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:18, Reply)

stupid fat fatties that walk slow as molasses, diagonally across a parking lot, or straight in the driving lane
instead of walking straight on the pedestrian walk way
I want to hit ever stupid whore that does this.
It's a proven fact that only fat whores do this.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 20:59, Reply)

Well use the pavement then.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:00, Reply)

Do you get what I mean?
hold on, I'll draw you a picture
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:01, Reply)

Wanna borrow my crayon?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:01, Reply)

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:12, Reply)

Maybe the 'Another Fat Hoe' is walking slowly because they've got a big arrow going through them?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:15, Reply)

It's probably because she's a fat hoe and has a fat ass and 4 kids and three trunk thighs

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:07, Reply)

can't you just run her over?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:13, Reply)

well
not legally
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:17, Reply)

legal's for wimps

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:19, Reply)

instantrimshot.com

( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Tue 10 May 2011, 21:27, Reply)

What the hell is that supposed to be?
www.sadtrombone.com
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:22, Reply)

People who walk reeeeally slowly in front of me
People who stop for no reason when I'm walking behind them
People who shove their pushchair/pram in to my ankles and have the temerity to tut at me for not diving out of the way of their precious crotchfruit
The Japanese guy at work who, whilst waiting by the microwave for his lunch to heat up, hawks up a massive amount of phlegm and spits it in the fucking bin
(berk, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:08, Reply)

It's probably a nuclear cold he's suffering with.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:16, Reply)

people who send emails with those
stupid fucking backgrounds on them. I only have a small inbox at work, it makes me cross that lots of it is taken up by some largely pointless thing from student support.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:12, Reply)

small box lolz

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 21:29, Reply)

People
who press too hard on their knife and it ends up scraping the plate causing an icky screechy noise...
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Tue 10 May 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Sniffing
I fucking hate people who sniff continually. I keep offering them tissues when they do it, and they give me death glares. As if I care. Stop fucking sniffing; you sound like a chav with the plague.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 May 2011, 22:14, Reply)

my nose is whistling at the moment
it's really annoying.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Blacks, the Japanese, people that seem to think that computer keyboards need to be HIT AS HARD AS POSSIBLE
Women, the homeless, the Germans, football fans, lager drinkers, Asians, Autisms, SpankyHanky (RIP), Jeremy Clarkson, Tory voters, Trance fans/ DJs, Bendulum and their noncey fans, people that can't quite understand reflexive pronouns, people that spell 'lose' as 'loose', cheap shoes, the Foo Fighters, Nicholas Nickleby, iron ore, Creationists, Son of Sam, people that think that 'you have to have killed four people to be a serial killer', the number forty-eight, Lunar Park, Henry Rollins's views on techno, black people, racists, bad comedians, people that think that preserving a nice view is more important than renewable energy production, AIDS, taxes, pavements, all of Blur, Monty Boyce and Fiona Bruce's legal team.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Yeah man, I hate AIDS too

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:16, Reply)

I could go on for hours.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:17, Reply)

Foo fighters, eh?
Well I was right, you may well hate the randomburn CD off me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:18, Reply)

You got me for randomburn?
Lucky you.

What exactly are the rules? Is it the first ten random songs? Do you do different CDs for different people?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:19, Reply)

I've done 5 the same
18 songs, all random. I think you're allowed 3 swaps. I've changed the order a bit.

It'll have a nice cover on it, too, I made that today and another thing what I made
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Set your media player (wmp is actually quite good at this) to random
drag say 25 to the burn window. It'll spill over into 2 cds. You get 3 same-artist deletes (2 songs by the same artist? Pick one to remove) and the overspill moves up onto your CD. Then you get 2 "I want this song featured so I'll take another one off" swaps. Then you arrange what songs you've got into a nice thematic order and burn 5 of the suckers.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:25, Reply)

I don't think I arranged them well,
but there seemed to be a few themes, namely pirates, identity crises and a couple of sad 'end of a record' tracks
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:27, Reply)

I made a couple of compilation CDs a few years back
and the first one got a pretty muted reaction, and for the second I arranged the tracks mellowest/slowest to heaviest/fastest and got positive feedback from several people. So I try and do that now, or start rocking and gradually mellow out, or have a silly song at the start and at the end....
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:31, Reply)

usually I have a theme
which, unsurprisingly, is usually based around whatever the main theme in larp is that year
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Everything you are saying here is right
apart from the 'nice view' thing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:26, Reply)

Wind farms old boy.
Those things have a graceful beauty and are required as we have passed peak oil production. Anyone that values a lovely view over renewables is a cunt of SpankyHanky proportions.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:28, Reply)

I much prefer shoddy nuclear plants.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:01, Reply)

Why hello there

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:02, Reply)

APPRENTICE APPRENTICE APPRENTICE !!!!! OH MAN

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:22, Reply)

1. People who say 'haitch' should be boiled alive.
2. Eastern European jeanswear and those that sport it - namely bull-necked Slavs in 'muscle vests' and 'hair gel'.
3. People who just won't listen, like my pal Mumbles who's just 'informed' me that Jimi Hendrix is buried in Ireland despite his gravestone and funeral both being in Seattle. I suggested that perhaps he meant Phil Lynott. No, apparently I'm wrong, he 'saw it on a programme'. My proposition that this programme was 'Jimmy Hill's World of Facts is, I am told, 'not funny'.
4. Coming over here and stealing our jobs
5. NICK CLEGG AND HIS CRONIES
6. People calling themselves 'Kroney' and their semi-religious obsession with German shit-mags
7. Povvos, thickoes, Deacons etc spoiling my view of this beautiful sceptred isle

These things and many more make me shake my head in despair for the human race.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:23, Reply)

I like how "what do you hate" threads
seem to act as a Monty invocation spell
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:24, Reply)

I have a 'bigot' version of 'gaydar'
Great show on Hitler's bodyguards on this evening. If I hadn't have watched and recorded it yesterday I'd be tempted.

I'm also on here because my friend is talking complete gibberish and I want him to leave, so I'm looking 'busy on the computer'...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:29, Reply)

yup
there's important shit going down on here
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:35, Reply)

How did the call with the mentalist go -
Have you got your daughter for the perfectly resonable request of being able to take her to your mothers birthday party?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:35, Reply)

YES I HAVE.
Were Mumbles not here I would be committing 'the sin of Onan' with aplomb, gusto and, dare I say it, gumption, in celebration of this fabulous result for 'Team Middle* Class'

*upper middle, thank you very much if it's all the same with you. No, really.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Crack on with it, I say
a screaming LPW should soon see the back of him.
(berk, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:49, Reply)

I'm not so sure. He's a bit 'metrosexual'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:00, Reply)

Well, if he asks to join in
you'll have a really, really good excuse to ask him to leave.
(berk, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:12, Reply)

I think if Monty whipped his cock out
and began wanking away, his friend couldn't be blamed for misreading the situation.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:24, Reply)

I fully approve of this anti-social attitude
Fling the door open and tell him never to darken it again
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:39, Reply)

Good call there Rory.
I don't like darkies coming through my door either.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:40, Reply)

If he doesn't piss off soon I'm going to do a poo on a tray, slam it in the old 'frost-free'
and stick on 'Space Truckin' by Deep Purple whilst making creepy eyebrow gestures at him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:52, Reply)

that'll just bring Kroney calling

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:03, Reply)

As I read that first one
I assumed it was Roota.
I'm surprised how short your list actually was.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 May 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Look's like Jeff has had the tables turned!
b3ta.com/links/Dog_has_sex_with_passed_out_man
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:26, Reply)

No.
I cloned a new Barbara Woodhouse and she trained the dog for me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:28, Reply)

down boy

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:29, Reply)

Gimme another 30 seconds.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Steampunks, cowboy porn, soft porn, pom poms, softmints.
Walkers Crisps for inverting the natural green = cheese & onion way of things, yappy dogs, tree stumps, scooters, bellends, idiots, Monty Boyce, aubergines, massive boulders in the middle of fields, teeth, pith helmets, people that get very upset about subjects they don't actually understand, bigotry, Catholicism, Sarah Palin, Michael Palin, Nike's skateboard stuff, Billabong's skateboard stuff, charvers, emos, goths, punks, metallers, LARPERS, blacks, Monty Boyce, ankles, caterpillar shaped cakes, my boss, hameophilia, homophobia, bad piercings, cheesy tattoos, falseness, fakery, bellending.

Have I mentioned Monty Boyce and blacks?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:27, Reply)

I reckon global warming is a direct result of Walkers' meddling in the natural order of things.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:32, Reply)

Not only did they turn Salt & Vinegar green, they turned Cheese & Onion blue.
AN INVERSION! A PERVERSION! AN AFFRONT TO GOD AND NATURE!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:38, Reply)

Much akin to the stool-based frolics of a man like Kroners.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:45, Reply)

Obviously cheese and onions should be green
I mean, green onions, yeah? It's like driving on the left, the only rational choice.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:03, Reply)

One drives on the left as a throwback to passing on horses.
One's sword arm would be free for dealing with knaves and peasants.

Which is why I always sit on the left on buses.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:05, Reply)

Since the majority of the population (or the rabble as they are better known)
are right side dominant, that's the side that should be closest to oncoming traffic since that's where the most danger is coming from.

IT'S SCIENCE.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:20, Reply)

I don't know about going "aaaahhhh" afterwards.
But I do make sure I inform my mum that I'm going for a poo before I go to the toilet. She does not like this, you could even say it's a pet hate of hers.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:30, Reply)

You're just going through the motions.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:32, Reply)

Evening, Kroney.
And how are the faecal adventures of Gunther and Ingrid this fine evening?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:35, Reply)

Noam Chomsky, Noah and the Whale, Noel Edmonds, No meaning 'no',
Black people, rachelswipe, Victorian novelists, my old art teacher, decaffeinated coffee, iPods, iPads, bikelocks, bisexuals, the Queen, noses, Tesco, Morten Harket, Johann Sebastian Bach, the rest of Skid Row, poodle metal, recidivism, Peter Hook for everything after New Order's first two albums, Monty Boyce, pretension, false pretension, any shit cultural output of any sort, Jan Ravens, vases, newts, Ken Follett novels, sunburn, paraplegia and bad whisky.

There may be more.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:35, Reply)

not even when
chomsky's pounding a rhythm to your brain, laaardi dar di di laardi dar di dum?

(I was convinced these were the words for some time)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:40, Reply)

Especially not then.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:41, Reply)

Terry Pratchett, Terry Pratchett fans,
people who think 'Spaced' was funny, Dr Who nerds, Apple nerds, the word 'nerd', C18th philosopher Bishop George Berkeley of Cloyne, the Renaissance merchants of Lombardy, Oliver pissing Cromwell, people who are 'really into vampires', 'edgy' US dramas, Hindustani goatherds and Pam Ayres. And Roger McGough.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:42, Reply)

PEOPLE WHO MISUSE AND THEREBY CHEAPEN THE WORD 'AWESOME'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:44, Reply)

Terry Pratchett is AWESOME
Dude
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:45, Reply)

I don't like you any more, 'Bill Clay'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:55, Reply)

You liked me??? You REALLY liked me??!??
Well that settles it, I'm sticking around
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:01, Reply)

FOB

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:56, Reply)

bindun

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:01, Reply)

You are new. You will be new for many, many months to come and hence you will receive chants of FOB at every opportunity.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:08, Reply)

Alright Mavis, keep your panties on
Didn't mean to piss on your chips, you may continue with the running gags.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Thanks bbz.
*waggles eyebrows*
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:20, Reply)

hugz4U lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:27, Reply)

luv u bbz lol

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Stephen King, Stephen King fans
People who think that SpankyHanky was funny, 60s psychedelia nerds, bewhiskered shirters, hip hop nerds, people who are unaware of the concept of 'the death of the author', John Lennon, Lenin, Lemons, lemonparty.org, Jamie 'bellend' Oliver, people that are 'really into Tractor', tall people, every Asian ever, Rory Lyon, William Hague's ridiculous accent and Monty Boyce. And Monty Boyce.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:47, Reply)

I'm still waiting for my bloody mention

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:05, Reply)

I mentioned Tory voters already.
If you like, if you are that needy, I can do another list and slip you in the middle.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:06, Reply)

Tory voters can cover me
I'm not THAT needy. In fact there are several things in your list that coincide
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:08, Reply)

ORLY?
Which?

You're not black are you?

Gid ovening by the way.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:12, Reply)

women, Tory, can't give a shit about renewable energy etc
good evening to you too. Had a good day?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Nae really.
Pretty pish.

But I am safe in the knowledge that I am best dressed and most handsome man in the office.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:20, Reply)

you prefer your shirters shaven?
All over?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:21, Reply)

yes.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:37, Reply)

I THINK VAMPIRES ARE AWESOME!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:54, Reply)

Precisely.
The prosecution rests m'lud.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:54, Reply)

Just to be clear
do you hate Pam Ayres, or people who are really into Pam Ayres?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:04, Reply)

Really it's the whole Ayresian 'genre'.
For the record, I've never looked after 'me teeth' but I have no fillings. It's a master race thing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:07, Reply)

I am currently hating
Spineless cunts who winge but never alter their behaviours, the woman on my train who has fat fishy lips and a mole/wart the size of a peanut m&m hanging off the top one, politics, its just so fucking DULL, people who think politics are important and that all the parties offer something different whereas its just the same shite spelled differently, eastern european begging cunts, they should fuck right off or get a job, people who watch soap operas, people who talk about soap operas, football and the cunts that think it's perfectly acceptable to witter on about it as if its some sort of fucking religious experience, its not, its for POOFS AND CUNTS
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:53, Reply)

Ah, breathe in the fresh air of CANCER JOY and his FACTS.
As ever, you speak for me and all right-thinking misanthropists in this crazy, mixed-up little corner of the universe we call 'earth'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:58, Reply)

Seig Heil
*clicks heels*

How's tricks ya big unapologetic Nazi? Did ye get round to brewing the shrooms?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:08, Reply)

Nein.
I did cook up the ones I accused my pal of sneakily eating at Gong, but they were rather weak. Well, they were Irish ones.

The beautiful assessment of a German spy flown into Ireland to potentially work with the IRA in the early 1940s makes me laugh like a drain: 'the Irish are very good at dying for their country but not so good at fighting for it' (or similar).

Sorry Rory and Tuggers.
(!)

MY MATE WILL NOT FUCK OFF.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:13, Reply)

tell him to fuck off then.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:20, Reply)

Nazi IRA
Hmmm, interesting. At least the 'politically charged' wall murals that the IRA loved so much would have been of a higher standard.

Ye saving them for a rainy day then? I hope yev got them in a glass jar to save them oxidising too much. I have a day planned at the end of month for the shrooms. Mates new plasma, planet earth and Head blu ray. Sitting out on his balcony, watching the weather and the huge Willow tree beside the river will be the star of the show I think. The way the wind plays across it is mesmerising.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:22, Reply)

Kilner jar and silica gel.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:47, Reply)

Remind him that you know people who behead people
unless he's a beheader, of course.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:23, Reply)

I expect the reply will be 'fucking shit'
Monty, I am currently listening to Labradford. What is your view of their recorded output?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 22:56, Reply)

I have no view. Are they 'sadcore' AS FUCK?
The only thing I can say with any certainty is that their name is fucking terrible and reminds me of 'Glasvegas', which is not something I wish to be reminded of.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:06, Reply)

No. They are post rock.
And sound nothing whatsoever like Glasvegas.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:07, Reply)

Post rock?
What, pebbles?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:08, Reply)

You tremendous woofter.
Bands like Slint, Bark Psychosis, Mogwai, Explosions in the Sky and Godspeed You! Black Emperor.

Where have you been for the last twenty years?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:11, Reply)

GYBE are awesome,
mogwai not so much.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:15, Reply)

Mogwai's first two albums are pretty much untouchable.
Fantastic live as well. Ever diminishing returns though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:16, Reply)

GBOA are 'awesome' but only Davvers knows who they are.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Indeed.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Gay Bikers On Acid?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:48, Reply)

Yup.
I have to be honest and say I can't remember anything they did, although I think I have a couple of tracks on some £3.99 goth anthology box set I picked up a while back.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:51, Reply)

So the secret is now out.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:52, Reply)

Secret?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:52, Reply)

Knowing who GBOA are.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:55, Reply)

I am really old.
And a few mates were into them in the 80's.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:56, Reply)

I loved them.
They were hilarious live, and the film they made is brilliant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:58, Reply)

I'm making a weekend of my trip to see the Sisters in November with Clendrix.
I've started doing wrist exercises to ensure I can hold them aloft long enough to do that swirly motion thing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 May 2011, 0:02, Reply)

You limp wrister.
You and Darth will need to battle it out for wrist supremacy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:04, Reply)

The difference between me and Darth
is that I have cooler hair and I don't take it up the arse.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 May 2011, 0:05, Reply)

In denial that it's no longer the 1970's

( wanderlust, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:17, Reply)

This is funny.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:19, Reply)

and true.

( wanderlust, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:21, Reply)

IT IS THE 1970S.
IT *IS*.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:22, Reply)

Oh Montague, lose the kipper tie and the flares.
HEY DADDIO, IT'S THE 1990S!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:23, Reply)

*gets 'really into 'Spaced'*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:29, Reply)

Spaced...
ironydruglols.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:33, Reply)

You are Gene Hunt aicmfp.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:30, Reply)

Try some Suicide instead
Frankie Teardrop will do for starters.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:10, Reply)

They were incredible supporting The Stooges last year.
You know how they always have the support act a bit quiet? Not so for that one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:16, Reply)

The Stooges are playing a festival on the Newcastle quayside at the end of this month.
I'm not going.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:31, Reply)

I wanna be your dog
is one of my favourite songs.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:36, Reply)

The only reason I'm not going
is because Blousie inconsiderately decided to have a bash that very weekend.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:37, Reply)

/jeff

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:45, Reply)

Don't think I didn't see that massive image you just posted, you utter Deacon.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:46, Reply)

I pissed myself at 'are you sure you want to delete this?'
Yes, quite sure, thank you. It was a photo of my new Deacon book, actually.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:50, Reply)

Your autobiography?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:51, Reply)

Possibly, but it's got your mutoid face on the cover.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:57, Reply)

Yes, I noticed this.
Good read?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:51, Reply)

Excellent.
Quite erotically-charged in parts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:53, Reply)

You need to stop plugging your cock into the wall sockets.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:55, Reply)

But they're the only things small enough.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:56, Reply)

I'm not really comfortable with the image of your three pronged knob, thankyouverymuch.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:57, Reply)

"He's married, got a kid, and he's working in a factory"
Ye ever seen 'Driller Killer', totally immense film, and not the video nasty that everyone thinks it is. Story an artists descent into madness with a grimy New York as the backdrop and the fucked up band he has as neighbours as a soundtrack. I always felt that Suicide would have been perfect as the band.

Brilliant band, apt name, 'that' album cover, and peerless music.

Oh, and the video commentary for Driller Killer is worth the price alone.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:33, Reply)

I like Glasvegas

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:10, Reply)

Their album is very very patchy.
Patchier than Primal Scream wrapped in an old-fashioned quilt.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:11, Reply)

I don't like Primal Scream

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:14, Reply)

You massive Deacon.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:14, Reply)

I don't like religion

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:15, Reply)

I don't like cricket. Oh no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:16, Reply)

You love it

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:18, Reply)

Ha!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:16, Reply)

Telephone banking Customer Support Representatives
who promise to reset your password but don't. That call probably cost me 30p! And I had to phone again and have them do the exact same thing! Only actually do it this time!

GAAAH, I say. GAAAH.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:09, Reply)

this.
I'm putting off calling the TAC because I *know* I'll be put on hold, and it'll suck up all my credit.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:15, Reply)

30p? you parsimonious schweinhund.
Don't tell me, that 30p would have got you a bag of 'barm cakes', 20 Woodbines and a ticket to see George Formy at the Wigan Cackhole.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:19, Reply)

George Formy...
Is he the Turkish marketplace fake George Formby? As in the lean mean grilling machine?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:22, Reply)

He's better known by his nickname 'save all your kisses'.
/jeff
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:24, Reply)

it's the principle Monty
would you be happy paying for a wrap of baking powder? I suspect not.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:54, Reply)

Depends if I was planning on doing any baking or not.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:56, Reply)

A small list because I can't be arsed to go through everything.
Anyone who says they feel betrayed by the LibDems, doubly so if they didn't get round to voting for them, college nurses who stick their interfering bastard noses into my business, people who have done fuckloads of revision, climate change 'activists', any sort of activists, people who like to think they're activists because they signed a petition once, the fucking Emperor Vespasian, Blackwells for cheating me of £4.60, GAP, people in general, people who tell you that you'll definitely want children in the future, courgettes...

continues on page 96...

Now who could tell I'm in a bad mood?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:16, Reply)

I hate courgettes and black people as well.
At last, some common ground.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:17, Reply)

do I need to bitch-slap some college nurses for you?

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:19, Reply)

she just won't fuck off
I thought I'd put paid to her antics last year, but now it's exam time she's come sniffing back round, desperate to play the kind counsellor card
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:20, Reply)

ahhh.
maybe just tell her you really don't need her help?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:21, Reply)

I have done on several occasions
the problem is that if I'm too rude it could backfire
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:23, Reply)

Tell her to shit off, the Deacon-minged hing oot.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:24, Reply)

Kick her in the minge.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:23, Reply)

that would involve disinfecting my foot

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:35, Reply)

Before or after the event?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:35, Reply)

after of course
bathing in bleach isn't good for the skin (just ask Happybara's missis)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:36, Reply)

I'd do it, then.
Don't partake in foot hygiene for a bit and she might end up with a hefty dose of athlete's cunt, to boot.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:39, Reply)

1. whistling
2. humming
3. being chompy
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:22, Reply)

I'm telling you, Chompy is fucking excellent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:29, Reply)

each to their own old man!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:31, Reply)

Tell that to his victims.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:32, Reply)

they can't hear in their sleep

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:42, Reply)

could not agree more
of course it depends how you define "excellent".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:51, Reply)

Hey swipe
how are you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:02, Reply)

AT FUCKING LAST.
Mumbles has left the building.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:48, Reply)

you can get right back on the LPW

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:49, Reply)

I've 'finished' now, thanks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:54, Reply)

OMG ETC!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 May 2011, 23:49, Reply)

I think I just found Monty's blog.
Deacon and Pink Floyd in full effect.

pigeonsnest.co.uk/stuff/joey-deacon.html
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 May 2011, 23:59, Reply)

helloo strangr

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:00, Reply)

Are you drunk?
If you are, I need to make it clear that I DID NOT name you as a 'pet hate' in one of those posts up there.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:02, Reply)

meh
BEEN tdrinking since about 4. work do, too drunk to read up there anywy.

what pet peevse?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:04, Reply)

It is the theme of the thread, o dipsomaniac princess.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:05, Reply)

so drunk
so very very drunk

thiss cannot end well when th alarm goes off in the morning!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:02, Reply)

This was remarkably coherent for one so drunk.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 May 2011, 0:04, Reply)

well we stoppped at 11.30
could have been qorse!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:05, Reply)

Could have been gorse.
That would have stung a bit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 May 2011, 0:06, Reply)

Could have been horse.
Would have smacked a bit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:07, Reply)

Could have been Morse
.-..---.....----..-.-.-.--...---....--...-.-.----....-.-.-.---.-.-.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:08, Reply)

or remorse
that would've been a bad end to the evening
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:07, Reply)

yessTHAT too!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:15, Reply)

I must say
I do find this whole David Schneider BDSM thing very funny indeed. What makes it funnier is that the Telegraph just did a story about him avoiding Twitter for the last few weeks, no doubt so that people will google David Schneider & Twitter and have a chuckle at the superinjunction thing THAT IS OBVIOUSLY COMPLETELY UNTRUE.

Contemptofcourtlols.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:10, Reply)

People who stop at the top of escalators
- People who get right up to the ticket barrier and only then start rooting around for their ticket
- Italian buses
- Swindon, the shitehole
- The east midlands accent
- People who won't meet your eyes when you pass them on an otherwise empty street
- That weird thing where instead of a smile and a "good morning" from someone you pass in the hallway, they do that half-grimace, half mouthflap thing combined with a barely audible noise of generic greeting
- Using "leverage" and "action" as nouns
- People who use Linux because it feels vaguely counter-cultural
- People who don't read Ts and Cs then get angry at customer services for just doing their freakin jobs trying to explain them to these customers in very simple terms.

Righto, that's enough for now. Night, all.
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Thu 12 May 2011, 0:02, Reply)