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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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God, it's even shitter than normal on here today.
Whose fault is this and what do you propose we do about it?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:10, 223 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I just predicted the future,
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Did you now? You're no 'Dynamo' I'm afraid.

NB This is a compliment.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:13, Reply)
In the /qotw poll.
If porn gets it I could probably write a template that auto generated answers.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Well if it keeps you busy and off here for a while, I'm interested.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Wow, what a win that would be...
sweet Jesus I am going out into the sunshine.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)
"I could" does not equal "I will"
Learn that and you'll manage to pass a cake without eating it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Badazing!

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Is that how you rationalised the first time you spied on a woman?
spying does not equal rape. Look where we are now.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Where are we now?
here? tinyurl.com/3wxeavb
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)
rob
I'm going to kidnap cr3 and force him to kill /qotw and merge /offtopic back into /talk.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Then I'd have to put up with Mortal Wombat again.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:15, Reply)
He's twice the child molester of most of the nonces on here.
And there's still the glorious ignore button.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)
I don't know we got some proper high level nonces here.
Bert fucked his own sister when she was like 2.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:17, Reply)
That's some pretty advanced level noncery.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I think she was 15 or something. I was exagerating but there is no reason to.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Ah right.
We'd all had her by that age. He probably just felt left out.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)
offtopic was never part of talk.
However I see this as a good idea. Shocked!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)
That makes you an accessory.
And I'm going to cut off his fingers and toes to make sure we go down for the distance.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I'll probably wait until he's done the web wizardry before cutting off his fingers.
I'm not an idiot.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:28, Reply)
We should liven things up with a breakdancing competition.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)
*pulls back carpet*
*spins on head*


Beat that sucker!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:17, Reply)
*beats that*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Let's party like it's 1987

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I blame all the B3tans who are too busy or wrapped up in their happy fulfilling lives to come on here and play.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I'm sorry, I promise I'll come back on here and be my regular, grumpy, pedantic self when I've got this cunting thesis out of the way.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)
Not mine but I'll say it's your fault.
just cos.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)
You little antipodean anarchist!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)
You love it!
OH man I'm so excited - I'm going to a swing dance class tomorrow with my best friend. It looks like it's going to be SO much fun.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)
It will be a hoot!
Let us know how you get on.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:28, Reply)
I think I'll fall over a lot or end up hitting/kicking someone by accident.
but hey! swings and roundabouts.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)
Are you a frumpy, brow-beaten, middle-aged housewife who hasn't had sex in a decade?
(yes) - awesome ... have fun!
(no) - what the fuck are you thinking, you fucking idiot?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:30, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:31, Reply)
Nope, just saw some fliers up and youtubed it - it looks like a lot of fun.
if you look at the speed-swing dance - it looks insane.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Amphetamines ftw!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)
seriously, me and my friend were youtubing it.
Those people looked like their legs were on ecstasy or speed or something!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:38, Reply)
Not even any cucumber or tomato?
Is that what you'd call an 'Abo Salad'?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Firstly, it's Abbo, if you're going to be racist, do it properly.
Secondly. Yes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)
But Aboriginal doesn't have two Bs in it.
You lot are well fick innit?

I'll let you off because of 'Bad Boy Bubby' and 'Rich With Nothing' by Split Ends, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)
And Negro only has one G, your point?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:33, Reply)
How many Gs in Ghetto?
fucking hundreds of them.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:35, Reply)
haha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:44, Reply)
My point is that you are a frightful gyppo who should be burnt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Gypsy doesn't have two P's.
HAH!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)
Meta-zing!
Points to Australia
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:38, Reply)
*beams*

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)
*belms*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)
*gurns*

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:44, Reply)
*Points to Australia*


*laughs*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:52, Reply)
Do you honestly think I wasn't aware of this when I posted it?
You can't zing a zinger.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:52, Reply)
In a wicker caravan

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)
I'm not a gyppo!
In fact it's quite hard to be prejudiced against me as I'm a middle class white boy. you could play the "London is shit" card, but that covers you too. I'm about an eighth porridge-wog if that helps. Oh and in certain lights I look a bit Jewish.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:44, Reply)
Hahaha!
But not where it counts.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)
I say we blame /talk
and launch a holy jihad.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Rain fire on a major city EACH WEEK!
Unless our demands are met.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Definitely
Let's start with Swansea.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:30, Reply)
but then why would they meet our demands?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:41, Reply)
I don't care
I just want to rain fire on Swansea.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:45, Reply)
Sorry, I can't do fire
I can do anvils, though.


(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:51, Reply)

holy jihad Children's Crusade
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)
I read that as jolly Jihad and thought it was a good idea.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)
All jihad is by its very nature jolly.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:30, Reply)
I'm up for a jolly jihad.
We could post fluffy things and hugz an stuff
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:31, Reply)
To talk members?
This would be awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:33, Reply)
It's a fun idea
but surely someone has tried it before and I can't imagine the results would be good. /voice of reason.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:35, Reply)
fluffy 72 virgins sounds a bit weird though.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:34, Reply)
72 fluffy virgins...

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:35, Reply)
yeah but still,
you'd be doing your thing and thinking "Man this doesn't feel right."
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)
In line with my attempt to be less creepy
I must agree with you, in public anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:38, Reply)
But inside you disagree, don't you?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)
*Sweats and looks shifty*
No, not at all I'm normal, quite normal and not creepy at all.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:41, Reply)
The thing is, why the desire for virgins. They can't be much cop in bed.
Surely the promise of 72 dirty sluts would be more of an incentive to blow something up.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)
I dunno, cos Heaven can only have pure unsullied beings?
so the dirty sluts would never get in?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)
And therefore who the fuck wants to go there other than dullards and benders?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Exactly this.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:54, Reply)
For you or me, yes.
for the average fundamentalist not so much it would seem, but then if you can believe in an all powerful sky pixie who for some reason needs you to blow shit up for him, well you can believe some pretty nonsensical shit quite frankly.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Virgins can be alright, their enthusiasm is good fun
But having to be oh-so-gentle can ruin it.

Also the whole complaining "Who are you? Where's Mummy?", etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)
What if you're a female suicide bomber?
Does that mean you get 72 male virgins? God, that would be an exciting night...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:45, Reply)
well, they'd all be terribly happy and excited...

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:46, Reply)
well, it'd be a fun two minutes

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:47, Reply)
72 X 2 minutes = nearly 2 and a half hours
so by the time you'd done all 72 the first one would probably have recovered, so if you arranged then all in a giant circle.....
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:50, Reply)
it's like the human centipede but for sex.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:52, Reply)
a "gravy" train if you will

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:55, Reply)
ooh god.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:56, Reply)
You have some very strange thoughts young lady.
Are you the one who's dating the lovely Noel?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:56, Reply)
yeah I am...the poor bugger...
for clarification - he's the poor bugger. Not me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:58, Reply)
Good for you.
He seems genuinely lovely and I'm sure you do him nothing but good.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:59, Reply)
oh thank you :)
He is very lovely yes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)
We're mostly in agreement that Noel is the most awesome guy on here.
And I've heard nothing but fantastic things about Poppet, just disappointed I didn't get to meet her in person! Stupid snow.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)
OK, so what happens if Noel and Gonz have a fight?
Who do we love most, or does the world end?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:02, Reply)
I think the universe would implode.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:05, Reply)
Gonz is an unutterable cunt.
If he dies then the world improves almost immeasurably.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:05, Reply)
Wouldn't happen.
Couldn't.

If that level of awesome collided, who knows what could happen?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:06, Reply)
Gonz would babble in the manner of an excitable tweenager
but with that unpleasantly drooly fat-lipped-old-jewish-grandmother thing distracting you from anything he was actually saying. Noel would be glancing around awkwardly for an excuse to leave and then notice that Gonz has womanly hips. Incredibly womanly hips. Enough to cause people to genuinely wonder whether he is a woman and whether this would make him/her more or less sexually revolting.

Then chinese food and hollyoaks and horrific sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:11, Reply)
why did you have to post this?
Now I'm picturing it and I need mindbleach to ever look at my boyfriend without it going RAAAAAAARGH at the front of my mind.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:13, Reply)
Is your relationship really that precarious?
Just because all intimate contact will now be accompanied by images of gonz's bulging watery eyes glaring down at you. The fatsweat beading on his reddened, chicken-grease forehead. Waiting waiting for it to drip onto your cheeks and dilute the tears of disgust and self-hatred.

Still ... at least you won't need to resort to dance classes as a sex replacement.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:21, Reply)
I like you.
You make me laugh and retch at the same time.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:23, Reply)
Success!

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:28, Reply)
And the award for Trying To Hard goes too..... that's right, it's a landslide victory.... SHAMBLES !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:28, Reply)
*touches nerve*

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Autistics also have trouble interpreting people's attitude and feelings.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:47, Reply)
Nonsense. He's an insufferable swine.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:03, Reply)
*adds data to map of monty's likes versus reality*

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:04, Reply)
Sounds like Crunchy's standard weekend.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:46, Reply)
I think the female bombers get shopping vouchers.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:47, Reply)
I could live with that...

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:48, Reply)
^this.
*orders fertiliser*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:48, Reply)
Catface?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)
are you saying you'd use your voucher on the fertiliser?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Fertiliser is used to make bombs.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:51, Reply)
I know but I couldn't work out if she'd be using the fertiliser for the bomb or for the redemption of her voucher.
I'm a bit slow sometimes..
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:52, Reply)
Bored people talking about how boring their dull lives are...
How could that possibly be shit?
This is definitely the fault of someone on here and I propose a lynching.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Did someone say boring?
That'll probably be my fault, then.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)
You've ruined everything, you horrible ruiner.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:31, Reply)
I'm not even ashamed.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)
*fetches pitchfork*

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)
Say sorry then.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)
I've lost half a cheese in my office. HOW?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)
is this drugs slang?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)
You know how everyone hates you?
Check behind the radiators and under teh floorboards.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Are we all hating Monty Now?
I though we liked Monty and thought he was cool.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:34, Reply)
That's why I hate him
Cause I know I'll never be that cool.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)
None of us will
this is our tragedy. *starts hating Monty*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)
I'm nearly there.
I love Hendrix and I think Lusty is hot.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:38, Reply)
When I grow up, I want to be just like Monty.
Or something.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)
More importantly.........why do you have half a cheese in your office?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:34, Reply)
Because he ate the other half.
or snorted it.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Doesn't everyone have some office cheese?
You fucking heathens.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:45, Reply)
Because his knob isn't detatchable.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:45, Reply)
because he cut the cheese or something

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:46, Reply)
^ This bilingual pun is actually wittier than its lack of response would suggest.
Well done, sir.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:12, Reply)
THANKS,
I didn't get any response to my fat country road link either :'(
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:19, Reply)
Che?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Guevara?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)
And Debussy

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)
to a disco beat

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)
IT'S OK I'VE FOUND IT.
It was in my filing cabinet. Senility has finally kicked in, it seems.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Oh thank god.
I was really worried there for a minute.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Had you filed it under dairy and not cheese?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Can you have "a" cheese?
surely cheese is more of a general term and specifically you would have a wheel of cheese or a block of cheese?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Yes, you can.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)
Can we fix it?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:12, Reply)
Can I kick it?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:33, Reply)
I'm going to lay the blame at the feet of Happybara
for not being here to tell us more about his wife's musky anus.

Does anyone else have a musky anus available for discussion?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:46, Reply)
Are you really missing Lampito that much?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:48, Reply)
He got a FACESPACETHING.
that's how much he missed her.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)
Fooking hell
That is a shock!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)
According to the vet
my dog has a 'spotless bum'. Does that help?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)
How does it smell?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:52, Reply)
AWFUL!

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:53, Reply)
"WITH A KNIFE!"

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:55, Reply)
How is your bum?
Is it spotty, by comparison to your dog's?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:53, Reply)
Not as bad as Bobby's according to Rory's spectacular post yesterday...

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:56, Reply)
Ooh, I think I missed that
And I do insulting Bobby, the fat dull cunt that he is.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:57, Reply)
Why it's not top of 'popular' I do not know.
'I heard he's on college suspension for traumatising several eight year olds with the sight of his fat fucking hairy zit covered barely wiped arsehole hanging out over his trousers, whenever he bends over to surreptitiously feed his fat face from his bag
during class time, the fat cunt'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:58, Reply)
I've just found the link to it *brushes cobwebs off bullhorn*
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1296579
++ALL USERS ARE ASKED TO VISIT THIS LINK AND CLICK "I LIKE THIS."++

Fuck me, I swear that is the best thing anyone has posted on this board in fucking weeks.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:03, Reply)
It's brilliant.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:05, Reply)
See? And that's an endorsement from a bona fide ARBITER OF TASTE
Go and click it, you frightful gyppos.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:07, Reply)
I fucking love Happybara.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)
Alright, bender?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:08, Reply)
I was about to laugh and say "HAHAH no replies"
and then realised it's only been a minute or two.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:10, Reply)
And you live in the future, being Australian.
therefore it's been no time at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:12, Reply)
my brain just broke trying to work that out.
I don't know why I bother with the internet when I'm so tired. All I post is gibberish.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:15, Reply)

when I'm so tired
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:16, Reply)
You can't argue with SCIENCE, I'm afraid.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:16, Reply)
does that mean she has a rocket car?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:15, Reply)
No, she has a rocket ute.
She's Australian.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:17, Reply)
I do not.
I have a rocket Festiva. It's red and zippy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:18, Reply)
As long as it has a searchlight and gun rack for wallaby hunting
the Australian cares not what they drive.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:19, Reply)
actually we hunt roos,
wallaby's are technically protected. But eastern Grey roos are a pest and can be legally shot for meat in some areas.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:21, Reply)
They should all be hunted to extinction.
Giant bouncing rats aren't fucking normal.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:22, Reply)
they're the best for getting around though..

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:24, Reply)
The whole of Australia is like a mid-80s episode of Neighbours.
Poppet is the 'Nell Mangel' character.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:15, Reply)
Nigel Mangel
Australia's most successful F1 driver.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:16, Reply)
Or Josef's less successful, albeit more controversial, descendent

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:17, Reply)
I thought it was Mengele?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:18, Reply)
It was, but you know how the spellings get corrupted when European types move to English-speaking countries
Well, not in your case, obviously, but I know someone whose grandfather changed her surname to make it sound less Polish when he moved to the US
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:19, Reply)
ahah I was gonna say!
yeah nah a lot of german names got phased out here during WW2, and I don't think I can name anybody who has a german name who is from an old family here.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:22, Reply)
I'll bet there aren't too many Hitlers in the German phone book.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:27, Reply)
Boycey, here is where I politely tell you to RACK OFF.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:17, Reply)
Oh, that's it, I'm definitely calling Lusty "Marlene" next time I see her

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:18, Reply)
Do it.
Make sure you post pictures of your black eye afterwards though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:19, Reply)
Oh ja?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:19, Reply)
Hair in curlers, fag hanging out of her mouth
suspicious squint, that's practically Dot Cotton, right there.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:20, Reply)
She reminds me of the Landlady in Kung Fu Hustle

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:38, Reply)
Bouncer's Dream was one of the most psychedelic pieces of television ever.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:28, Reply)
When Doug Willis did mushrooms, so was that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:29, Reply)
i blame you all obviously
And we should shake it up a bit.

In other news I saw gackt last night, and it was the most surreal night of my life. Now I'm stuck in victoria coach station for 3 hours
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:21, Reply)
Good gig then?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:32, Reply)
brilliant but bizarre
He had some other singer with him, and half the show was just them posing in unison to show their bodies to the best effect. And I got into a minor fight with a chap built like a brick shithouse who had the personality of one as well over the shirt thrown into the audience
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:43, Reply)
Morning everyone
Am probably not in the right mood for B3ta after this week but hey, I missed you all. What's shakin'?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:33, Reply)
My gigantic, bristling, sweaty, veiny gonads.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:34, Reply)
They're shaking like the 'tree' in popular dance classic 'Agadoo'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:35, Reply)
To the left, to the right?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:36, Reply)
They are 'to the knees', Aggers old stick.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:39, Reply)
Oof, no wonder you're not happy!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:40, Reply)
My pendulous testes are a wonder of the modern world.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:41, Reply)
It's like you're sneaking space hoppers.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)
They're like two medicine balls in a mohair sack. A mohair sack that reeks of cheese and sweat.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)
see now, that just makes me boke.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:43, Reply)
Oh. I see.
I suggest you don't open my latest gaz, then.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Y'know, I just checked, just in case you'd sent one...
*too gullible*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:46, Reply)
Congratulations
You're still a reasonably well-adjusted human being
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Thank you. :)

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:48, Reply)
the equivalant of the hanging baskets of babylon

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:48, Reply)
...

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:36, Reply)
Bobby's distended arse.
You alright fella?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Probably the last thing I wanted to reply to this morning
Why on earth would you say that?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:37, Reply)
Could be worse
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1296579
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:38, Reply)
Better, you mean?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:39, Reply)
Good to see that the standards haven't slipped in my absence
How are you mate? Was the funeral bearable?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:40, Reply)
It was as good as possible fella
First non-christian one I've been to, this was read out, and some rather excellent music was played.

Then we just got wankered at the wake, all in all an OK day, thank you.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Glad to hear it mate

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1296579
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:38, Reply)
We're a bunch of fucking mongs.
We hold collective responsibility.
hahah and to prove my monginess I replied in the wrong place
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:39, Reply)
What's happened this week?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Work has been unbelievably cunty
and as a result I haven't slept more than an hour or two any night since the weekend. The end of my tether has been but a distant memory since Tuesday morning
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:44, Reply)
You've been werkin at home and that?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:46, Reply)
I wish, then I wouldn't have had to field so many calls from simpletons and wankers
Have jsut had to do a lot of prep at home, which I bloody hate and frankly don't get paid enough to do, and haven't been able to stop thinking about it when I should be sleeping.

Thank you for asking :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:47, Reply)
Hang on
What the FUCK is going on with the popular page?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Looks good to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:52, Reply)
Monty, look at this
your post about Not many Hitlers in the phone-book reminded me that he was actually a Schicklgruber, which in turn reminded me of this awesomeness:

johnl.org/2009/08/27/stalin-vs-hitler/
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:52, Reply)
That is good.
All history should be taught this way.

Is there one for Charles I versus Cromwell?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:57, Reply)
I don't know
but there totally should be. I think this one was originally in Russian, so likely not.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 12:00, Reply)

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