London Riot thread: Not a threadstomp just let it run in parallel to keep this shit out of other threads.
London B3tans:

Monty: Last seen runing for his home like a North London Ponce Monty's place looted! RIOTERS ON MASSIVE DRUGS!!!!
Barry: Going Looting Has looted a smart phone and is posting from the front lines Waiting for the choppers to come and get him the hell out of this. " Suicidal? Probably. Idiotic? Definitely. Fuck it, you live once. Tally ho ladies and gents." a fitting epitaph.
Stunned: Lives in Lewisham, nothing heard, presumed dead
Swipe: No news, but she'll live some where posh so presumed safe
Lampers: OK, but preparing to flee if shit gets hot Armed with a footlong screwdriver and preparing to see off looters.
Me: Sitting in an eerily calm bit between 2 'troubled' areas and bricking myself
Gonz: Shouting Insults from his window at rioters
Edit:
Rory: Who knows, presumed hoped dead Alive and talking shit as usual.
More edit:
TGB, see Gonz, presumed alive
Wookie: Haven't a clue presumed looting in a pub, and not looting at all
Still more edit:
Crow: in a "safe" area, presumed OK. was kicked out of a pub due to reports of rioting around Clapham/Vauxhall. He's home safe though.
Even more edit:
Barry's mate: blockaded in a pub in Croydon, re-enacting Shaun of the Dead, presumed fucked.
International Edit:
Kristine is in America and she's okay. She's even chewing gum!

Who did I miss?

Latest from New Cross:
8:28 3 more riot vans heading to Lewisham
8:45 Ken Livingstone on the BBC speaking sense. Long Live Red Ken.
8:55 Ambulance heading for Lewisham. *sad face*
10:20 definitely more ambulances than police vans heading for Lewisham in the last hours. still quiet here.
10:30 ambulances and police vans heading back from Lewisham
10:50 Going by the directions of the passing Plods, I'd say it's quieting down in Lewisham and getting worse up towards Walworth Road, will be interested to see if this is true come the morning, especially as that is my route to work.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:00, 341 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Rory - presumed dead (fingers crossed)

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:05, Reply)

Rory's a londoner?
I'll add him to the big board
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:07, Reply)

Wookie and TGB

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:08, Reply)

TGB lives with Gonz
Will add Wooks.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:09, Reply)

Wookie lives in Brixton.
He'll be out swinging his mace around.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:13, Reply)

You're in London as well aren't you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:14, Reply)

look again

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:18, Reply)

Where?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:22, Reply)

where it says "me" you plum
been on the meths tonight?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:23, Reply)

I'm even more confused now.
I was replying to Al.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:24, Reply)

you are both plonkers
and I don't think Al's in London
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:25, Reply)

bugger

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:31, Reply)

Big Board suitably Amended.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:15, Reply)

My mate's stuck in a pub in Croydon. Another mate was last night as well.
Being in a pub in Croydon is bad enough, but whilst there's rioting going on in the streets as well - poor fella.
To be fair the people involved aren't stupid, the fire brigade have to be protected by police out there at the moment, so if they set fire to stuff it stretches the police resources further. Ergo more scope for looting in areas elsewhere. Not that I condone any of it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:21, Reply)

I can only guess that you've nicked a smart phone and you're posting from the front-line.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:22, Reply)

It's hit Bromley now, no surprise as there will be no police presence round here.
Must....resist...temptation..
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:44, Reply)

Get the Nigerian Whites mobbed up Barry.
Go and have it large!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:47, Reply)

This is very scary.
How is this happening in England?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:29, Reply)

Poeple are pissed off
They are thieving, overexcited bastards too, but they are pissed off, see also: mob mentality.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:30, Reply)

CQ and Cavy sitting in a tree
F I N ger I N G

EDIT: that was aimed at the subthread below.

/is a spanner blog
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:42, Reply)

woah there
I was just showing him how to play notes on a flute
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:49, Reply)

we only pretend we're OK and civilised

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:30, Reply)

no one asked you Welshy

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:40, Reply)

no one would notice if the welsh did riot

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:42, Reply)

This is London we're talking about, it's the seventh circle of Hell at the best of times.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:31, Reply)

But I have to take some Americans to London next month!
I've bought tickets and everything! This shit had better be sorted by then.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:34, Reply)

It'll be under martial law by then.
Like "Threads", but with less nuclear fallout. Probably.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:36, Reply)

I remember watching 'Threads' when I was at school.
apparently it was supposed to be educational. As kids, we all mocked the woman who pissed herself.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:45, Reply)

Because this *is* England
We fucking love rioting. Brixton in particular.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:33, Reply)

Kristine is in America and she's okay. She's even chewing gum! Some say this would be good news.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:31, Reply)

hooray
you can pilot a helicopter to save everyone sometime, right?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:32, Reply)

Yeah, sometime but I'm busy later, watching sitcoms with my mom.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:34, Reply)

Old episodes of 'Are you being served' is my guess.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:36, Reply)

nah, we're watching American things
because we're in America
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:43, Reply)

You're the flids in America.
Woo-ooh.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:44, Reply)

london bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:47, Reply)

Plod won't let it get anywhere near anything 'important'
Provided the riots stick to the slums, they'll be content.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:48, Reply)

I just want to put this in here because it's funny
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1311136
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:51, Reply)

It is funny.
From my ivory tower.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:52, Reply)

they're going to steal your cockleshells, Mary!

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:54, Reply)

Nah, there are too many pubs between me and any problems.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:54, Reply)

Are you going?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:56, Reply)

To the pub this evening?
Nah. I had a few before coming home from work.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:05, Reply)

Alt headline - BRADFORD - Nice and quiet

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:32, Reply)

Though if you're facing L**ds, keep an eye on Chapeltown.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:33, Reply)

I'm sure that the BD3 "Piggers" will be off at the end of the week
Especially if it gets warm.

Edit - just checked the forecast - cool and rainy all week, so it'll just be the usual level of BD3 - BD9 drug violence then.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:35, Reply)

Evening TD how are you mate?
(It's only a matter of time before Bradford goes off, and then the far-right will 'insist' on helping the police)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:34, Reply)

Hanging on in there
If you can get odds on impending Bradford riots specific to postcode district, it'll be BD3, not BD8 or 9.

They have riots in BD9 every weekend anyway. It's all a bit passe to me.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:57, Reply)

As long as it stays away from 19 I'm happy.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:59, Reply)

I'm sure the Cleckheaton massive will be out
They might write a rude word on a bus shelter, or kick a bin over.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

It's more a dinky than a massive.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)

ooh no not BD9..m
I hope not BD9. I had a good look round last night and there is nothing to loot...
(CheatingRabbit, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 8:14, Reply)

I believe Weston is still quiet.
There *would* be rioting, but everything is destroyed already, and anyway everyone's lying about in a drugged-up stupor.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:33, Reply)

You know that isn't true.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bhi-0Xflab0
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:35, Reply)

There were yoofs attempting to kick off in Birmingham earlier
it was the most pathetic attempt of twattery I've ever seen - the police presence was probably necessary as I suppose it could easily have escalated, but bemused shoppers and onlookers outnumbered the would-be rioters 2 to 1.
(berk, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:43, Reply)

Evening berk.
How are you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:44, Reply)

Tired mainly
lots of stuff going on. And yourself?
(berk, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:50, Reply)

Tired mainly.
Lots of stuff going on.

Have you found a new gaff yet, or are you still weighing up your options?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:52, Reply)

Sorted out a new place no bother
however I have been jerked around something chronic by Oxford, so I'll end up moving flat at the start of september, but commuting back to Birmingham for a month. Which is annoying, but oh well - at least I have a job and somewhere to live.
(berk, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:05, Reply)

This is good.
But why are Oxford dicking you around? Also. Have you found a flat on your own, or will you be sharing?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Found a place that's sort of half-and-half
it's in a shared house, but it's the entire basement; I have my own little living room, bedroom and bathroom, and I share the kitchen. It's really, really nice.

EDIT - and Oxford are just being wankers. But it's fine.
(berk, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)

That sounds perfect berk!
I hope the move goes well.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:35, Reply)

Lighty is in Brum.
I'd imagine he'll be eating fine food and drinking ale.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:43, Reply)

I love the fact Cameron's not returning from his holiday.
The country's in bloody civil unrest. I can just picture him doing the conga round a swimming pool whilst wearing a fez hat not giving a fuck.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:45, Reply)

hahaha
At least he went back and tipped that Doris who refused to deliver a coffee to him. What else can he possibly do?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:46, Reply)

It's okay
Boris is coming back.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:46, Reply)

exactly what the world needs

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:48, Reply)

My friend's current status is
that he expects to see Boris come back riding a tank, in a suit of armour with an RPG
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:49, Reply)

He'll have a special 'cycle-tank'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:50, Reply)

but the RPG
is a Role Playing Game. Got the wrong end of hte stick, see
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:50, Reply)

I think we think of different things
when we hear RPG
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:50, Reply)

to the Ride of the Valkyries...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:51, Reply)

Er... err... I say.... You there! You oiks!
Let's get together and have a nice game of wiff waff and talk it all over, eh chaps? What do you say?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:50, Reply)

THISISJEFFSSONGSORRYWORLD
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WhhSBgd3KI&ob=av2e
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:47, Reply)

that tune creeps me out from when it
seemed like the world was ending in the 80s
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:48, Reply)

it's kind of apt

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:49, Reply)

This would be a good soundtrack for the end of the world.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6opcgDdmzo
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:05, Reply)

better
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&ob=av3e
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)

How does that work Bob?
I posted the same link in the last thread.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:49, Reply)

sorry mate, I didn't look at that thread.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:50, Reply)

Bender.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:50, Reply)

I'm going to do a bit of Home Counties looting when we visit the in-laws on Saturday,
stock up on Waitrose organic meats.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:53, Reply)

Do they have a dog?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:54, Reply)

No :(

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:07, Reply)

Apparently that's a good thing!

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)

It's probably worth wondering CHCB....
If you think how Stokes Croft got riled when Tesco/s tried to open a new convenience store, I dread to think how irked they'd be if someone got shot by the police.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:56, Reply)

I'm north of the arches, Jeff,
surely they'd leave our delis and boutiques alone? Who'd loot an olive shop?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)

The good folk of Turbo Island don't care for olives.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)

Woo!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:01, Reply)

I'm totally looting your house too, al.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:05, Reply)

Get in line, I'm closer :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

I'm near Leytonstone and it's kicking off there and in Bethnal green at the moment
So far where I am is alright and it'll probably stay that way too...far too middle class round here.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:55, Reply)

Oh, has something kicked off then?
I've been away for a couple of days enjoying myself. I did see some stuff on the telly in the pub last night, but the sound was off and I just thought the sales had started early.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:56, Reply)

Nice weekend DG?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:58, Reply)

Excellent thanks.
We've had BGB to stay, went out for the in-laws anniversary on Saturday and then to a mini-festival that some mates had organised for an afternoon of live music, then the local pub. It went extremely well and they're hoping to do it again next year.

You?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:00, Reply)

I was at a wedding all weekend.
I'm a bit tired now though.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)

Weddings do that to you.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)

How bizarre
so was I.
(berk, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:09, Reply)

I never saw you there.
Where were you hiding?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)

*waves* Yeah, it's the recreational rioters having some fun that they'll probably repeat at a festival at the end of August
BRING ON THE WATER CANNONS
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:59, Reply)

Being serious for a moment, it must be pretty scary.
How are you anyway, lovely lady?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:01, Reply)

It's ok, no worse than fuckers being stupid at a festival is how a mate nearby described it and he's right.
I'm good thanks lovely, how are you?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)

Grinding on, thanks. Taking things day by day.
Enjoying not working at the moment though. I doubt that'll last very long!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)

Redundancy's good for something :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

If it wasn't for redundancy money
I'd have balked a little bit more at paying £75 for having a new lock fitted this evening thanks to the key completely jamming it it :)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)

Ouch, balk away. I would

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)

The first locksmith I rang
stated it would be £105 per hour, plus cost of parts and VAT. So I think I got off relatively lightly...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)

Bugger that for a laugh. Wait for the riots to head your way then claim it on the insurance!

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:19, Reply)

Too late, already done!
I'm a man of action.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)

I think they should deploy live rounds.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)

I think they should deploy Batman.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:05, Reply)

I think they should welease Wodewick.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:12, Reply)

Live rounds and water cannons
I'd be up for that
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:09, Reply)

yeah, cheers DG
we're sending it your way.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:01, Reply)

They'd never get past Middlesbrough.
All those fumes and smog, they'd choke.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:02, Reply)

This is London we're talking about
the fumes we are used to, more likely there's nowt worth nicking up there.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)

EXCEPT OUR INDUSTRY, EH THATCHER?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:29, Reply)

Littlebitofpolitics
Ladies and Gentlemen.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 8:09, Reply)

Is it time for you to
run the fuck away, yet?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:59, Reply)

Run away!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:01, Reply)

Not yet, still quiet here

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)

My mate's just offered to pick me up.
If I don't make it back, you lot can have my DVDs.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:00, Reply)

Can I have your MJ keyring?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:02, Reply)

Croydon looks like it's in a bad way.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:04, Reply)

That Irish bloke on BBC news is fab

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)

Don't go down there. They'll turn ya back!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)

MINDPISS!
is it just me or did he mention his wife, then his girlfriend? poor bugger if true.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:07, Reply)

I think the young blokes today refer to their signifcant other as their 'missus'
You'd understand if you weren't a sweaty internet virgin.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

I have so much to learn. I thought it was "my bitch"

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

That's just what Jeff calls his

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:09, Reply)

Oh dear... That'll be on YouTube within the next half hour I expect.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

Good news.
They've booked another helicopter. That'll be a great comfort to the locals.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

The Irish chap on BBCnews is hilarious.
Does look a bit apocalyptic.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)

Yeah. Who'da thunk that pine would burn so well!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:07, Reply)

this is almost making me wish I had a TV license
but that seems a little voyeuristic
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:07, Reply)

You can follow News 24 on the BBC website.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

yeah, but to watch live stuff
you need a license
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)

do you, indeed?
I was not aware of that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)

there's a lot you're not aware of love!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:12, Reply)

the specific and respective locations of my arse and elbow, usually.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)

and that I'm hiding under your sink
bet you looked/
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)

I think BBC News streams live on the BBC website, doesn't it?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

Just use your mystical third eye and have a gander.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:09, Reply)

oo, nice

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)

not at my lady lumps, perv.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)

funniest tweet thus far
@calvinharris - If we end up with a load of bands that sound like The Smiths because of all this i'm leaving the fucking country
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)

'Call me Dave' is coming home to play snakes and ladders!
We're SAVED!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)

Took his sweet time
Even Boris beat him to teh crunch.

Being completely flippant, I bet Gordon is glad he's not still in charge.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)

Whilst the furniture shop has burnt good.
I still reckon the pier was a more exciting fire.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)

Apparently Leeds is starting now
ffs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)

Whatever next... Glastonbury? V? T4 on the Beach?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:19, Reply)

the radio 1 roadshow

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)

Smiley Miley won't be happy.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)

Neither will Billy Ray

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Who is Billy Ray Miley?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)

who
wants to know?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)

Not T4!!!!!!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Yes. T4.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)

But.... but....
The pier! Think of the pier!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)

won't somebody think of the Hollyurks!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Oh Shit
I've got a job in Chapel Allerton tomorrow.

Don't let them get that far up the Harrogate Road. I need the money.

Edit - it's Chapeltown, as predicted by Woodside earlier up this thread. We'll write it off as urban regeneration.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:24, Reply)

They're just getting ready for the next ashed series.
Instead of the ashes being a bail, it'll be the remains of a carpet warehouse and a branch of Halfords.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)

It's possibly the least surprising news ever, barely a fortnight goes by in Chapeltown without a murder or a gun-related incident.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)

This I don't understand
I got offered a job in Chapeltown (Spencer Road) a few weeks ago. I turned it down, because I need my car and wasn't prepared to leave it unattended.

It's an absolute wasteland of prostitutes and dealers. Set it on fire and who do you hurt?

If you're going to have a riot, get on the 12 or 13 bus and take it to Briggate or Vicar Lane. THEN you're making a point.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Fuck me.
Can see TONS of smoke from my bedroom window. It was nice knowing you all.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:31, Reply)

anywhere else you can get to?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:32, Reply)

It's not nearby.
Which shows how bad it must be. It's the Croydon stuff I'm guessing and that's easily five miles away. Fire must be fucking huge.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)

If I were you, I'd still
try and find somewhere further away to be
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:35, Reply)

A mate was just on the high street and was told they're done with Croydon and are coming to my endz.
I bloody hope not. What was quite interesting is getting a bit too close to home now. Literally.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:38, Reply)

you must know someone who lives further out

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)

I don't drive and all the buses have stopped.
Am I buggery walking anywhere at the moment.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)

OK, well
fill a bucket or two with sand and water just in case. And nail your door shut or something
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)

It is
look on the telly.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:38, Reply)

Shit.
Keep your windows shut. Phone Max Clifford.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)

Post pictures!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)

I can't my phone's shit.
This is a mate's photo he took about 20 mins ago, he's about a mile further away from me as well. It's at least four or five times bigger from where I'm watching, sky is just completely full of smoke.
a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/284928_10150351763920359_663095358_9998408_2868234_n.jpg
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)

Watching the news, it seems like the youth has opted to burn stuff.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:38, Reply)

According to a friend of mine who lives in Sutton
that's been fucked up as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:51, Reply)

Jut spoke to Wookiee
He's in a pub, and not looting at all. Or so he says!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)

He dissapoints me.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:38, Reply)

Why
I think that sitting in a pub is a good idea, also it gives a good bit of dutch courage!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)

DOK!
Where the fuck have you been?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)

In all seriousness I hope Rory is all right, he usually would have posted on an evening by this time.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:38, Reply)

He is probably worried about the bridge he lives under and doesn't have time for us,

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)

Really?
I do not care at all whether he is well or not.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:42, Reply)

*fistbumps*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)

This has kind of gone beyond a bit of light rioting now.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)

Yes.
I remember 1981, which is when the last big lot went on.

I don't entirely understand what the hell is happening or why.

Shoot a known dealer in Tottenham and all this comes out of it?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:51, Reply)

My dad was in Brixton last time around as a copper.
From what he said it was bad, but contained. This is a rather different animal. Now it's got to Clapham, I'm starting to get a little concerned. The night's early yet and my brother's only in Surbiton =/

It's nothing to do with Tottenham. People saw an opening and went for it. Apparently the police have been warning the Government for a while that this might happen.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)

I accept that South London, Birmingham, Leeds etc. have nothing to do
With an internecine drugs squabble in Tottenham.

I just don't understand how things have spread so quickly.

And why. There are areas of any city that you don't go near. These aren't disenfranchised voters (a BIG difference from '81, when the riots were politicized). How - and why - is this happening?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)

I don't think you can rationalise this.
Some people decided a peaceful protest wasn't good enough so they got violent and then thugs all over London figured they'd have a bit of the action.

It's desctruction for the sake of it.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

I think you're right
As above - Chapeltown, Leeds is an area I know. It's burning tonight without any sort of rationale.

I think I'll just go and shit in my own living room. That'll teach 'em, eh?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:32, Reply)

tip of the ice berg innit.
No body kicking off now cares about him, they are just pissed off and also they want to nick stuff
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)

Monty's place looted!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)

RIOTERS ON MASSIVE DRUGS!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:49, Reply)

From the news. It looked like Monty's Place is a sandwich shop in Birmingham.
But it might not be.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:51, Reply)

I heard he has a second home.
Which contains sandwiches.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)

He'll be able to vary his menu and do toasties now!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:54, Reply)

HAHA Brilliant.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

*BEAMS*
Praise from Al means - So. Much. More.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:57, Reply)

This is the best thing I've read all night.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:32, Reply)

Police just zoomed down me high street. Lots and lots and lots of them.
Shits really getting real now.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:51, Reply)

seriously, now, get ready to move

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:51, Reply)

Dancing won't help

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:54, Reply)

of course it will, ask darth
it always helps
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)

Ignore Cavy.
Put a picture of Wolfman in your window and write on it, 'I AM PROTECTED'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:52, Reply)

The Walworth Road is fuuuuuuuuucked.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)

Are you alright?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Clearly she is on fire, which is why she is posting here.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:57, Reply)

I'm ok, bit shaken
This is the top of the road where I walk to get the bus

Not my photo- I'm staying indoors, blinds down, turning a blind eye to the stolen goods going by my house. Smoking round the back, not the front. Armed with a footlong screwdriver (one for Charms, too) if things get very bad.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)

Important question.
Flathead screwdriver, or Phillips?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

I have two, I think it's one of each.
I think I want the flathead. More stabby.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)

Nah, cross head, far more useful.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)

stick 'em with the pointy end

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)

I reckon you should get both.
It's your flatmates own fault if they've not been to Wilkinsons in the last year.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)

I'd agree with you
but I'd hate to see anything happen to her flatmate.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:06, Reply)

Tidy is she?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:18, Reply)

Hottest thing ever.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Probably well too young for me.
As well as being 'good looking' - something else that has always escaped me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:23, Reply)

I bought a set of 30 screwdrivers.
ARMED TO THE FUCKING TEETH
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)

And you've got the stingrays if the screwdrivers don't work.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

She wants a Phillips, better drive.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)

Is your man around?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

He's in his flat.
It's SW, so should be safe, but I'm not making him come over here.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)

You okay?
Do you have a contingency plan?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:57, Reply)

Plan is "stay here"
Safest place to be, no transport within very easy reach (road where the buses go down is closed) Just sitting it out.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

:/ I'm sure it will be fine
just keep safe.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

I'm sure it will be, too
Residential area, they don't seem to be targetting that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Whereabouts are you, Barry?

( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Latest from Todmorden.
Local co-op ran out of mung beans and several hippies have been spotted sitting cross-legged in the middle of the market stalls singing we shall overcome.
( girlinthehole, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Hello.
Where've you been?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)

Oop north with DG and Tourettes.

( girlinthehole, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Bousie.
LEAVE THE AREA NOW.

I'll call Médecins Sans Frontières. It'll be okay. Trust me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)

It's definitely race related shennanigans as one of the hippies went to Barbados for his gap year.

( girlinthehole, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:05, Reply)

I'm headed off work now, I hope everything is okay for you guys, sincerely xx

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)

Well it's all OK now
Cameron has cut his holiday short to stand in charred remains and say "Tut tut."

I feel so reassured - and so should you.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)

Though that's not to say he won't fuck off to the south of France and take the cabinet with him if things get really bad.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:06, Reply)

I understand that Vichy has splendid amenities

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:15, Reply)

Crow was kicked out of a pub
for being a drunkard due to reports of rioting around Clapham/Vauxhall. He's home safe though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:05, Reply)

I can confirm this. Pub sent us home about an hour ago just before it kicked off round Clapham Junction
Probably in the safest place I can be right now.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:11, Reply)

Good news
have a screwdriver to hand just in case
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)

Fuck the screwdrivers, I own a claw hammer and several sturdy plumbing tools

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)

just make sure y ou can lift them on your own

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Pffft! I has swords and shit
Bring on the looters.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:15, Reply)

Have you fallen in love with a female plumber from Harlesden NW10?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Can't say I have
Unless said plumber is your mum or sister, in which case, "Yes, she doesn't half love to be anally violated with a mole grip."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

I just wondered where you got your plumbing tools.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWCcMHJTI38
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:22, Reply)

Your mums womb?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)

Where his worst enemy are stairs.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Or her gin habit

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Or coathangers.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Well, that would be safer given her current location
Though quite how you get a 6' man back into a 5'5" woman is another challenge altogether...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

cock first

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Yeah, but then my pelvis gets in the way...
It's like the problem a python has if it tries to eat a human head first
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

pff!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:18, Reply)

...
...

...

... I'm 5' 3".
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Anyone would think I worded this one badly...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

You're an idiot.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

But, he's an idiot that's having sex with a woman two inches taller than you
behind your back.

On the plus side, she appears to be related to him.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:22, Reply)

I think she's about two inches taller than Lampers
To verify this, I really ought to nip home and measure her, except I can't get to the station because of these FUCKING BASTARD RIOTERS
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:26, Reply)

You should get them both to stand back to back
and then run around them in circles whipping their tits with your erect cock.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:28, Reply)

Sounds like Crow family picnics of old...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:43, Reply)

My mate's trying to pick me up but he's stuck in Purley.
Croydon is completely closed off. I want to get out there, he better find another way to mine.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:22, Reply)

Good luck Bazza!
Don't wear your favourite jacket.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:24, Reply)

Yep, they're definitely stuck.
The buses better be running but I can't see it. Suicidal? Probably. Idiotic? Definitely. Fuck it, you live once. Tally ho ladies and gents.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:25, Reply)

good luck
take a screwdriver

are you sure this is really a good idea
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:27, Reply)

You'll be fine Barry.
You've been to enough away games.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:27, Reply)

Fingers crossed Mate
Hope you make it out OK
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:28, Reply)

I really don't care in the slightest whether or not anything happens to you.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:29, Reply)

You're all heart, Al.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Better that than sending pretend internet sympathy tea

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:34, Reply)

oh my god your not dead!!!!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:38, Reply)

Then you will no doubt be happy about the complete lack of worry displayed about you good self.
Difference being some people like Barry.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:39, Reply)

I quite like Rory.
Not sure why though.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:42, Reply)

Cheers Woodside, we have to stick together during these tough times

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:44, Reply)

I actually do not hate him
and sometimes he's funny, but beyond that I'm not bothered, he spends too much time trying to be a cock-end.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:45, Reply)

don't be a tit al.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:34, Reply)

you think the man has a choice?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Yes,
How's your end holding up? ooer/
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:35, Reply)

Lots of plod and ambos whizzing past
Riots to the left of me, riots to the right of me, but still dead quiet here, no news is good news, but will have a fun time sleeping.

A little worried about Stunned TBH
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:38, Reply)

stunned?
oh shit yeah. Like you say no news is good news.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:39, Reply)

Set Your Faces to Stunned lives in Lewisham
and hasn't been on yet that I know of.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:41, Reply)

I'd been hoping you'd burnt to death by now, don't you reside in a flat over some shops on the main street?
Best check the smoke alarm tonight
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:36, Reply)

it's an estate agents.
Looters are not yet that desperate.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:42, Reply)

Awwww, I'm sorry Bobbywobby
I didn't mean to make you upset.

Look, I realise this is going to be hard for you to hear, but it's best I get it out of the way now, then we can all move on.

Here it is.

I don't know you, I don't know Barry, I don't know Rory.

I'm never going to meet you, I'm never going to meet Barry and I'm never going to meet Rory.

As a consequence of this, whether or not you, or Barry or Rory are alive or dead or tied to a chair in a basement having holes drilled in your legs makes absolutely no difference to me in the slightest so I really don't care.

But, if the latter were to happen, and you logged on to the internet to tell us all, firstly I wouldn't believe you, and then if it became evident that it was true I would laugh.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:37, Reply)

yeah can't be fucked to read this at all

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:38, Reply)

Right kids.
I'm going to bed. I'm tired.

To those of you in London. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Seriously kids. Stay out of trouble.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:29, Reply)

Lightweight

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Early start tomorrow B3th.
I'm going to open a 'Pine furniture Warehouse' in Croydon.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)

I might let you off then
as if you cared
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:32, Reply)

All this looting shits fucking crap, rinsing out JD Sports for their best in Kappa gear paints a sad picture of the aspirations of Londons yoot

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:33, Reply)

HE'S ALIVE!
GORDONS RORY'S ALIVE
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:35, Reply)

I NOE! The Man Dem Muswell Hill Massive are yet to strike at the Scullery Shop in which all middle class dreams reside

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:38, Reply)

you tooled up bruv?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:40, Reply)

Standard Hickory sledgehammer handle
There ain't no JD Sports in a mile of where I am so I should be safe
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:42, Reply)

YOU ARE MAD MAX

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:43, Reply)

shit going down in Birmingham too
lots of sirens and helicopters all evening. Think I'll stay in.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:38, Reply)

To paraphrase Frankie Boyle
"If I lived in Birmingham, I'd be delighted to die"
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:40, Reply)

i think my brother's an idiot
he's driving home now from southgate to canary wharf
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:41, Reply)

I really think you think London is smaller than it is.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:47, Reply)

it can't be bigger than a couple of roads, right?
/small village girl
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:47, Reply)

Just because the vast majority of London is not on fire and filled with rioters
Because it's big, see?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:53, Reply)

it did do my head in
that it took 3/4 of an hour on a bus to get from the british library to victoria. How is the place so damn big?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:56, Reply)

and those are 2 relatively close parts of central london
Croydon is so far from either it should really be another town, in fact it was before London ate it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:58, Reply)

i don't know how you live there
without constant claustrophobia
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:59, Reply)

I feel the same way about tiny places like Wales.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:05, Reply)

It did my head in tooo.
Where I live at home there's only 200 people! and we're spread out!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:59, Reply)

i come from a little village
it's got lots of fields and things around it. It used to have a post office, but it shut
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:00, Reply)

ahah yup, same.
Well, instead of a post office, we had a pub. But that shut too.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:03, Reply)

oh yeah, there was a pub in my village,too
it closed.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:04, Reply)

Any further news from Jeff et al?
I've just heard things are starting to spark up round Bristol way
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:42, Reply)

shit really!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:42, Reply)

Don't know if it's going to develop into anything serious
Hearsay via a text from my flatmate's sister suggests something might be starting but I don't know any more than that
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:44, Reply)

I can imagine it starting up in some areas of Bristol
but certainly not the posh end.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:47, Reply)

Jeff just went to bed

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:42, Reply)

and the riots start... coincidence!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:44, Reply)

Now you mention it, I've never seen Jeff and an angry youth mob in the same room together...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:45, Reply)

I have never seen al and butterbean in the same room either.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:47, Reply)

I've never seen Roota and DJ in the same room...


oh wait, yes I have.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:48, Reply)

To repeat the Alt headline above - Bradford is quiet.
What's going on here?

This place normally kicks off if someone looks at a not white person a bit funny.

C'mon Bradford - get wit' da riots.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:47, Reply)

International unit.
Am awake in Aus and am eating breakfast. All is good.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:54, Reply)

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:59, Reply)

Their haircuts are shite
But that's not important right now.

Send 'em in, Bobby.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Right Chaps
I am knackered, so I'm heading for bed and taking my favourite Sabre with me.

I sincerely wish the best of luck to you all, with the obvious exceptions of Al and Rory, and assuming I'm not murdered in my bed I shall see you all tomorrow.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:01, Reply)

night
I expect the rioters are also tired by now, too, you'll be fine
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:02, Reply)

No, there's a new branch o[pened up in Woolwich

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Good luck

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:02, Reply)

Cheers

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Bedtime
From what used to be the Detroit of the UK.

Still quiet here.

XX
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:12, Reply)

What, Coventry?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:13, Reply)

I hope you're watching AL QAEDA, British Terrorism - BEST IN THE WORLD
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:22, Reply)

See
we don't need to be scared of Al Quaeda. We can do a good enough job of bringing our own society to a grinding halt.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:25, Reply)

DID I spell it wrong? arse.
I want to know if this bris rumour is true.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:26, Reply)

I don't know - it could be my spelling that's wrong.
I imagine if it's going to start anywhere, it'll be Redhill or St Pauls
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:27, Reply)

it's not on any of the news things
but I guess the rumours will mean that perhaps tomorrow there will be :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:28, Reply)

We'd probably get a better idea from facebook than from the news

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:30, Reply)

twitter seems to be just full of people
starting rumours and kind of hoping things will happen
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:33, Reply)

Ive text my bredren in st pauls innit, nothing back yet so they could be out looting.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 23:33, Reply)