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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

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Good morning, wankers.
Who's really cool?
And who really isn't?

NB: if you reply with 'me', 'you' or my or indeed anyone else's mum to either question you are nothing but the worst kind of cunt.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 8:57, 247 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
one
thou

see what I did there?
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Embarrassed me, yourself, your family and the entire human race?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:03, Reply)
pretty much

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:04, Reply)
*taps screen*
Hello? Is this thing on?

One TWO. TWO. one TWO.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:02, Reply)
A chap I used to know (now sadly dead from pneumonia)
was a roadie for Motorhead, and he claimed they’d had a windup going on Lemmy for about 20 years, regarding ‘DFA levels’. Every soundcheck they ask him if they’re OK, and he says they are. DFA stands for ‘does fuck all’.

Lol.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:06, Reply)
what a hilarious 'wind up'

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Those roadies, eh? The larks they get up to! I don't know - they're MAD!!!!

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:09, Reply)

cool - eskimos
not cool - Saudi Arabians
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:05, Reply)
Lance Henriksen is cool
Scott Mills is most certainly not. I'd be embarrassed if my 11 year old used "well jell" instead of jealous let alone a middle aged 'disc-jockey'.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)
all radio 1 DJs are complete dickheads
without exception
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Oh, I don't know about that
I think Fearne Cotton is really interesting to listen to, plays a wide variety of exciting new music and her interviewing skills are second to none.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)
(!)

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)
*poker face*
...
..
.
*cracks start to show*
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:27, Reply)
Pull your trousers up then

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:29, Reply)
I cracked up for a second here.
For a moment I thought Lance Henriksen was the name of that Norwegian massacre chappie.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:10, Reply)
Morning - everybody still alive then?
Cool: Leslie Phillips, Brian Blessed
Not cool: Kanye West
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:15, Reply)
Fuck you, I'm dead. How dare you?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Jeez, I was concerned
Fuck you, zombie badger
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Also:
GORDON'S ALIVE!!!
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Good choices.
Cool: Leslie West
Not cool: Kanye West
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Even Fred West is cooler than cousin Kanye

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Morning 'trot
I see you wiped the floor with County
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)
Morning 'cow
Yep, looked like an incredibly lucky last-gasp escape but was in fact a perfectly-executed masterplan. A defeat like that will see both their fans kill themselves, thus raising the average IQ in Nottingham and putting an end to the riots.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Genius

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)
To be fair, Fred West is uber-ice-cool anyway.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)
His horticultural and slab-laying skills are second to none, certainly

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)
Afternoon drinking is cool. But that's not a person.
My first boss was cool because he was always happy to explain things and wasn't a dick about everything, unusual now.

Amy Winehouse?
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)
I've been watching Boris Johnson on the telly.
That man is mega-cool.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)
I love him.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Especially for this
www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/nov/03/boris-johnson-attack-camden-london1
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)
Anyone who uses the word"oik" deserves a medal.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:23, Reply)
He should be king, and prime minister.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:27, Reply)
That is fantastic

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)
I'm sure it actually happened
and isn't at all a fabrication designed to publicise her film and give him some positive PR.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:33, Reply)
He is lovely isn't he?
Such an improvement on that creep Livingstone.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:21, Reply)
He is a bit of both though, isn't he?
Cool: Boris Johnson
Not Cool: Boris Johnson

Entertaining for sure!
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Cool: Keith Richard(s)
Not cool: Cliff Richard
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)
I read that the "s" was originally removed from Keef's surname
To emulate that cool rock'n'roll singer Harry Webb.
You've got to admit the flawless logic here - kids like one bloke with that surname, so you will be cooler if your surname is the same as his.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Morgan Freeman, possibly the coolest man on Earth.
Ricky Gervais, what a cunt.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Cool: Morgan Freeman
Not cool: Martin Freeman
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Martin Freeman is quite cool

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:18, Reply)
No he isn't. He's a turd.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Dr Watson? A turd?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)
That cunt from The Office and The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy? Not a turd?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)
He was exceptional in Sherlock.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)
His one redeeming role to date.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)
He has de-turded in Sherlock

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)
I agree.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)
Exceptional?
Doesn't he play everything exactly the same?
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)
No, he really was excellent.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Martin Freeman is mint
Snappy dresser, too. Always see him in the same Quoddy shoes I've got. Wears loads of Albam, too. What great taste.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Excellent choices

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:18, Reply)
I love Morgan Freeman.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Cool: Leslie Nielsen
Not cool: Harry Nilsson
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Super-cool: Dennis Nilsen

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)
*dons Australian accent*
Ripper!
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:23, Reply)
What's Richie Benaud got to do with this?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Hahah

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Cool: Denzel Washington, Will Smith, The Fonz
Uncool: Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Shia LeBeouf
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Will Smith is very cool.
Is Adam Sandler funny or is it just me that thinks he is a cretin?
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Cretin
Funny in the golf one though
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Agreed
Happy Gilmore is a very entertaining film. Shortly thereafter his IF I SHOUT IT'S FUNNY, YEAH? shtick became very old, and only he and his buddies are yet to notice.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Cretin.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:26, Reply)
I DON'T MUCH LIKE ADAM SANDLER EITHER!!!!!!!

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Hahahaha!
Hold on....
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Cretin
Has a couple of half decent films, where all the comedy comes from other people.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)
I used to think Will Smith was cool
until both his kids ended up in showbiw as preteens made me review my position.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:31, Reply)
Be that as it may
His son has magnificent hair
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Cool: Nottingham Forest
Not: Notts County

I'll stop talking about this now.

Honest
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Pfft!

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)
I notice your local derby was played despite civil unrest
whereas Bristol City called off their game like the nonces they are.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:35, Reply)
All the oiks and cunts were in the away end

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Cool - Geordies.

Uncool - Southerners.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:26, Reply)
What about Mackems?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Meh, you're all the same.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:29, Reply)
I'm not really a fan of any nuts apart from cashews.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:29, Reply)
You love nuts balanced on your chin

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Not cool.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)
As long as I know

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Cool: northerners' arses in winter when they go to t'lavveh.
Not cool: southerners' arses whilst they sit on their futuristic indoor lavatories.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:29, Reply)
You don't need to put 'to' if your placing the 't' in front of the word to indicate the accent.
Just saying like.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)
I've tried desperately hard to give a shit here, but, sadly, I fear I cannot.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Try your futuristic "indoor lavatory"

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:36, Reply)
You'll never learn if you don't try.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:39, Reply)
Psh. you and your copycat looters.
Copying all the cool London kids.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)
Cool: Hooters
Not cool: Looters
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:33, Reply)
I think I might have this the wrong way round actually

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Cool: Scooters
Not Cool: Pooters
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:36, Reply)
You certainly have. Having been inside a Hooters
I can say from experience that it's utterly cringeworthy.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)
I found the experience thoroughly entertaining, in a desperately immature way
for about five minutes. Then I gradually realised it was fairly horrific.

I can't help but wonder how they recruit without getting done for discrimination. If you have two applicants for a job, one of whom is obviously going to be crap at it but looks like Katy Perry, and the other of whom have ten years experience but munts royally, how do you justify rejecting the latter?
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:43, Reply)
Americans don't have anywhere near the same employment laws that we do.
How they get away with it in, say, Birmingham however. I haven't a clue.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:45, Reply)
That, presumably, is why the first UK Hooters was in my home city of Nottingham
Where the female/male ratio is famously disproportionate and gives one greater choice. Presumably in Birmingham they worked on the principle that everyone is so stupid that it's only fair to employ based purely on looks.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:48, Reply)
I find the very idea of such a place appalling.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:43, Reply)
The only time I've been was as part of a stag do
in Washington DC. The food was awful, the beer was awful, the fawning of the staff was awful.

When I go into a shop or a restaurant, I expect to be treated with barely-concealed contempt or, at best, total indifference. I hate being crawled at in a barely palatable attempt to squeeze a tip out of me.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:48, Reply)
The staff didn't fawn too badly in the Nottingham one
but nonetheless it was so deliberately set up to appeal to "blokes" that I have no desire to go back.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:49, Reply)
Because you are a Lady-Boy?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)
I prefer mincer
But yes
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:56, Reply)
You're supposed to wait until you leave to start masturbating
schoolboy error.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:43, Reply)
I'm now trying to think who the coolest man in the world is (well, except for Ötzi)
So far, it's between Samuel L Jackson, Morgan Freeman, Will Smith, and The Fonz.

Who else should be included?
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:31, Reply)
Hitler.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:31, Reply)
right, for a start call him Henry Winkler, FONZ WAS A CHARACTER HE PLAYED.
Surely Robert Pires and Thierry Henry make the list?
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Don't be daft
French?!
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:34, Reply)
This boy is a fool. He knows nothing.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:35, Reply)
My thoughts exactly
Comparing Mumra to The Fonz? Pfft.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:41, Reply)
Henry Winkler isn't cool, the Fonz is.
And as for those two, don't make me laugh in even attempting to put them on the same level.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:34, Reply)
well if we're including ficticious characters
I throw in Mumra, TopCat, Bravestarr, HeMan, Shaft,ETC ETC
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:36, Reply)
And you say I watch kids TV?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:40, Reply)
CAPTAIN SIMIAN
coolest person ever.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:41, Reply)
I did watch it in the 80's as I am sure the list above will show.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:43, Reply)
Cool: Hitler
Uncool: Francois Mitterand
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:31, Reply)
Cool - Judd Nelson
Uncool - Kevin Smith
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Kevin Smith is fucking excellent.
Judd Nelson ain't bad.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Kevin Smith is a tool.
Made one alright comedy and then polluted the world with pap.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Clerks was fucking dull

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Forgot clerks was first, was thinking Mallrats.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:38, Reply)
sportscow
you're a great man, and I usually support you, but here, you're wronger than an underaged shit-soaked vole in a negligee.

Clerks was fucking brilliant. Ditto Chasing Amy.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:43, Reply)
I like this
for the wrong statement
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:49, Reply)
Chasing Amy, Jersey Girl, Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back are all fucking excellent films
I'm yet to see Clerks 1 & 2, but I will do, and doubtless, they will be superb.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:38, Reply)
I thought Jay and Silent Bob was shit too

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:39, Reply)
I really enjoyed it.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:40, Reply)
I agree with you here, though.
Jay and Silent Bob are funny in Clerks, but the joke wears very fucking fast. To make a whole film about them ... nah.

Although, AA, since you've not see Clerks I guess that might make J&SBSB better.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I will watch it at some point

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Clerks is fantastic
Clerks 2 is even better

Bobby is wrong
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:39, Reply)
No shock there.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:40, Reply)
Clerks 2 better than the original?
Potentially the most uncool and factually inaccurate thing anyone's ever said.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:40, Reply)
How can you say that when there are so many positive reviews of Moulin Rouge out there?
Marginally better, but I stand by my statement. It has Rosario Dawson in it for a start.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I think b3ta has established your taste in most things is suspect and now you're agreeing
with the tween. It's gonna be one of you gayer days isn't it?
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:44, Reply)
One of YOUR gayer days
The one thing you should have noticed via the medium of B3ta is that you and I have similar tastes on most things, you just happen to be wrong here. Now get down A&E, that bullet isn't going to remove itself from your foot.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Similar tastes?
Elaborate? Music, nope, TV, BSG... nope, Film - I think we have a few in common, Sequins nope, man on man bukkake parties, definitely not
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:12, Reply)
We have plenty of similar tastes in music of the rock variety
We just differ on the merits of White Pony if I remember rightly. Have finally started watching those Wire DVDs you kindly sent me and it's excellent so far. I am sad to hear you've given up on football though.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:16, Reply)
i want to have your babies

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I get that a lot

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:21, Reply)
you throw words like excellent around willy nilly bruv. They really aren't 'excellent'
you may like them a lot but for something to be excellent it needs to be a lot better than the bilge that yank prick spews out.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Dogma is still one of my favourite films
To describe it as less than excellent would be stupid of me to do so.

As for the rest, I enjoyed the film, I laughed at the comedy, and appreciated the whole thing. So why shouldn't I state that they are excellent?
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:43, Reply)
*unashamed Kevin Smith fan fist-bumps*

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:45, Reply)
for the reason you just posted, you enjoyed them and laughed at the comedy
so they are good, funny, enjoyable but excellent... In my opinion it's the same as when people overuse the word legend. Excellent should be the highest accolade something can get and by using it too much it diminishes it's impact. I don't doubt you like his films and I did too when I was in my teens/early twenties but to call them excellent is a bit much I reckon.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Don't get me started on 'awesome' either.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:57, Reply)
I agree with this.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)
It's the same thing you plum! Sweet Jesus.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:04, Reply)
It's really really not.
'Awesome' is possibly the most overused word at the moment. I'll admit, I use it sometimes, but not 50 times a day, like so many do.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I give up

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Typical French

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:22, Reply)
To some it is, to others it isn't
Fucking fantasic, magnificent, incredible are all accolades I would use over excellent.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)
well your questionable taste and grasp of the english language is another debate altogether
NO EDITING HAS HAPPENED HERE AT ALL!
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Psst
"Altogether" is one word in this context mate
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)
thanks love xx

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Anything for you sweetheart
My first instinct was to repeat everything you said before "all together" and encourage everyone to join in.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:14, Reply)
How old are you?
You have to remember Clerks was "of its time". I suspect if I watched it now I wouldn't rate it so much. But 15 years ago it was fucking excellent.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:46, Reply)
It just tries too hard to be cool
Black and white, long dialogue about fuck all, no story

T.E.D.I.O.U.S.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:48, Reply)
I liked Schindler's list!

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:49, Reply)
That had a touch of story though, don't you think
I know Monty hated it
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:50, Reply)
Not so, I haven't wanked so hard since.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Ahh....
The Schindler's Fist
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)
It was black and white because it was made for about ten pence mate
Smith financed the whole thing with maxed out credit cards and loans from mates. He shot it at night in the same store he was working in during the day, which is the real reason the shutters are always down. He was categorically not trying to be arty.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)
To quote Baz
"pony"
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:52, Reply)
it's all entirely true mate.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:55, Reply)
I'm not saying it isn't true, just I didn't like it

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)
that's what it was meant to do.
You might as well argue any other film tries too hard to be cool by doing whatever it does.

It's black and white because the budget was £20K. The guy was totally unknown at the time. The plot point about the shutters being jammed down with gum was because they had to film at night when the store was shut because it was the store he worked in and he couldn't afford a set.

of course, liking it's a matter of taste, no-one has to like something just because it's good. But as a piece of film-making, it is very, very good.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Not my scene boss
I just didn't enjoy it at all
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Of course.
personal taste innit? I won't judge you too much, honest.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:59, Reply)
*folds arms, looks smug*

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:55, Reply)
29

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)
you'd have been 13 when it came out then.
Might have something to do with it. But like I said to sportscow, liking it or not is a matter or personal taste. The fact that it's an excellent piece of film-making is less debatable.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)
You're just angry because your football team is utter pony now.
Need a new goalkeeper and centre back? Why not solve both issues by spending £12m on a seventeen year old winger? Utterly brilliant.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Haha!

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:47, Reply)
fuck knows what he is doing
I am supporting Bristol Rovers this season Baz.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Cool: 'A bit of Fry and Laurie'
Not cool: 'Corrie'
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Pancakes are cool.
Supermarkets in lockdown when you need food aren't.
Also, payday being so far off.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Jarvis Cocker is cool.
Liam Gallagher is not. Speaking of him, his Pretty Green store in Manchester got done over last night. Huzzah!
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:35, Reply)
I like this

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Cool: Nathan Fillion
Uncool: Russell Brand (obviously)
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:35, Reply)
I agree on both counts here.
And this agrees with the first.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:39, Reply)
DEFINITIVE
COOL - cheech Marin
UNCOOL - kevin costner
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Or..
Cool: Nic Cage
Uncool: Nic Cage
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:38, Reply)
He is a bit enigmatic isn't he.
enigmatic cuntish
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:40, Reply)
There is nothing whatsoever cool about that equine-faced baldy wanker.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Kick Ass

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Quite good, apart from him.
His face alone actually makes me angry. And when I remember that he named his child after Superman it makes me want to crush to skulls of kittens.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)
In his defence, most things make you want to do that

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)
*shrugs*
It's a fair cop guv.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Raising Arizona or whatever it's called is so, so shit and people who are 'into film' love it.
I really hate that cunt.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Con Air was entertaining, but only because of John Malkovich

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:57, Reply)
This^

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)
...is not true in any way

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Cyrus Grissom: [to Johnny 23] I despise rapists. For me, you're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you're really thirsty. But, in your case, I'll make an exception.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:02, Reply)
He has one of the daftest death scenes in Con Air that I've seen outside of a Naked Gun film
..but if you've made it that far into the film with your disbelief suspended just above your toes than it's perfectly reasonable.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Er...^SPOILER^

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Thank you
I shall

*buys elaborate anniversary gift*
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Have you ever seen any of the Final Destination films?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)
The convoluted death scenes are the only reason to watch those films..
..but I think I got bored of that being the sole reason by the third film. Not that the first two films are any great shakes but they were entertaining enough.

They ruined the David Warner death scene (aka the greatest film decapitation ever) in the Omen remake by making it too 'Final Destination-y'
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:24, Reply)
I am very much the same.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:29, Reply)
You appear to be 'quoting film'.

Please don't.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Did you threaten to overrule him?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:22, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1249569
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:28, Reply)
I could eat a peach for hours.
Face Off was cool and medically accurate.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)
It was OK
Him and Travolta seemed to want to out-croissant each other in it though, which spoiled it somewhat
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:59, Reply)
I love all that croissant play.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:00, Reply)
God me too.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)
100% agree.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Cool: George Clooney
Not Cool: Rosemary Clooney
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:38, Reply)
George Clooney is an uphill gardener.
FACT.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:39, Reply)
He puts on a fucking good show of not being one!

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:40, Reply)
Anyone better looking than me, not that there's many of them (arf), is a poof.
It's my defence mechanism to give myself more confidence.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I'm really not
Despite what all these cunts say
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)
I was at his villa* on Lake Como earlier this year
I saw no evidence of class 1 bottery.

*I was about 25 yards offshore, having a nose around for a laugh. I didn't get an invite to one of his parties or owt.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Cool: Looting
Not cool: Looting Cash Convertors.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:44, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:45, Reply)
I saw an uncool looter on Monday.
He came out of a bike shop on what can only be described as a tricycle/penny farthing hybrid trying to make a getaway. It could barely go faster than walking pace.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:49, Reply)
It makes me fucking despair, Barry.
Have these people no ambition? No sense of shame? Why weren't they ramraiding Dixons like the rioters of my youth?
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Richer Sounds was opposite.
I can confirm they cleaned that out bare as well.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Thank God. My faith in humanity has been restored.
Did you see if Ikea made it through unscathed? I'd enjoy watching looters making off with several flatpak Billy bookshelves.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:55, Reply)
I didn't get that far down.
They cleaned out PC World on Purley Way according to my mate. No doubt we'll be getting offered cheap Nortons anti virus packages in pubs in SE London in the near future.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Proper cool: Melba Moore.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Moore toast
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Cool: The Belgians
Ubcool: The French.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:56, Reply)
The Belgians aren't cool.
They're all peados.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Paedos are well cool.
My dad's one.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Milton Keynes can't even do rioting well
www.miltonkeynes.co.uk/news/local/update_10_15pm_fears_fanned_rioting_flames_1_2947629
I was hoping that we'd get on the national news :(
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:57, Reply)
My mate lives in Bletchley.
He said they smashed a Ladbrokes window and did bugger all else. If I lived there or in MK I'd fucking kill myself. Pink Punters is a laugh, though.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)
They broke a few codes though, eh, readers?
*chortle*
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:59, Reply)
I like this

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:59, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHHAHAH ha. ha.


Ha.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:00, Reply)
I wish you lived here.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:00, Reply)
Are you chatting him up?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)
I'm encouraging suicide.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:02, Reply)
I know, but are you chatting him up?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Did you threaten to overrule him?

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Paxman
Lulz
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)

AN eerie silence filled the streets of Milton Keynes tonight as thousands of people waited for the rumoured rioting to begin that's what Milton Keynes is like at night.

Many had spent the day at their computers where online myths abounded about where and when the violence was erupting pretending to be third-level paladins, wanking and dribbling Pot Noodles down their George at Asda 'jim-jams', in what locals are already calling 'normal Tuesday'.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 9:59, Reply)
I don't wear jim jams.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:00, Reply)
OK, 'mankinis', sorry.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Cor!
Steady on, it's only 10 o'clock
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)
I've forgotten who you are.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Now call him a bluenamer
There is No Greater Insult
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:12, Reply)
"I've forgotten who you are." is not an attempt at an insult.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:14, Reply)
I assumed incorrectly
My apologies. It seemed dismissive, somehow.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:17, Reply)
There is.
'Darth Foxtrot', for example.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Brilliant
You're on great form today. I assume you had a late night looking for things to steal.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)
I was up 'til 4 thinking of that genius retort.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:19, Reply)
You've gone unnioticed in all the footage I've seen so far
Pretty much all the looters seem to be wearing very loose-fitting trousers
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Or "second campest guy on the weakest link"

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)
I was just grateful there was a 1st

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Just been reminded.
Not cool: My boss's wife who decided to 'help' me yesterday by calling a few customers.

'Hello, is that Mrs Magerr? Is this the right number for Mrs Magerr?'


'oh I see! Mrs Maguire!!!'

Fucking thick twat.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:07, Reply)
I was only helping!
Yeah, well, if you want to help then commit suicide.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Cool - Doc Martens

Not cool - Doc Martin the TV Doctor


May just have spent a stupid amount of money on boots.
(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Docs are cool though.

(, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:21, Reply)

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