My brother is over the moon
about the gyppo camp in his town, where they found slaves covered in excrement chained up in horseboxes, some of whom had been there for fifteen years. Best thing to happen to Leighton Buzzard since Kajagoogoo, apprently.

What's the best thing to have happened where you live recently?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:41, 112 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

The top news story in MK at the moment is
Man gets iPhone robbed. That's it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Why would you opress those peoples culture Monty
It's not right to tar all thieving gyppos with the same brush just because some of them don't pay any taxes and yet expect the state to supply them with land and benefits and slaves.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:44, Reply)

I'm disgusting.
Why don't I respect the way they want to live?

In Romania, excrement-covered slaves are the norm.

I'm just trying to force my own cultural bias upon them. I'm so intolerant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Hmm
Sadly, this really is the most interesting thing to happen in Macclesfield.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:44, Reply)

We had the looting or "riots".
And Andy Coulson presented his excellent credentials to the filth in Lewisham recently. That had the ville buzzing, I can tell you.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:45, Reply)

ha ha
these are exciting times for sleepy Leighton be buggered.Can you believe that the rag and bone man/ scrap merchant has been out ringing his bells today? You may have thought they might want to keep their heads down for a bit...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Alan fucking Bennett.
www.todmordennews.co.uk/news/local/alan_lends_library_group_support_1_3760948
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:48, Reply)

You had Dawn Porter there recently too!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:49, Reply)

God I hate that cunt.
Weedy northern poofter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Oh man, I bet that got you all hot and bothered.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:49, Reply)

I peed my pants a little : (

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)

That's culture right there, that is.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Innit!

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Al and I ran around the city in record time.
(Pick a record that's 2hrs26 mins long, probably some sort of concept album.)

Why aren't you all over on QOTW clicking "I like this" on my post? Or better still, writing your own sentimental, mawkish answer?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:50, Reply)

I did.

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Because I hate QOTW and never look on there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)

I used to live in West Kingsdown in Kent where
Kenneth Noye killed PC Keith Blakelock (outside his house) and later Stephen Cameron (on the M25).
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Oh nice.
My brother loves Noye and insisted I borrow 'Killer on the Road', what a shit book.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Loves him?
There are loads of old bank robbers that live in the area.

He was one of the Brinks Mat lot, that's how Blakelock died. Surveilling Noye's house.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:57, Reply)

See below

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Keith Blakelock was beheaded by Winston Silcott at Broadwater Farm in Totterham
you LYING CUNT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Soz.
John Fordham.

I am happy to set the record straight. We wouldn't want to upset Mr Noye's family.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:01, Reply)

What, 'The Viking' is dead?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:03, Reply)

No.
You're thinking of John Pall Sigmarsson.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Apparently this is the most recent newsorthy event around my way:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-14860925

All I can say is I've never seen her in the Local Cash Counts mini-market.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Is she the "looker"?
Or is it the other one?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:54, Reply)

The other one is the looker.
This one is the ginger bug-eyed in-bred.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Hahaha.
Thanks for clearing that up.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:56, Reply)

What she said^
Not that I've ever seen the other one that I can remember.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:57, Reply)

She got a 2:1?
For fucks sake, the stupid bitch wants for nothing and yet can't put enough effort in to get a first. I hope she gets cancer of the face and parents.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Cancer of the face could only lead to an improvement
Every-time I see a picture of her it looks photo-shopped. I reckon she did well to get a 2:1 given how inbred she clearly is. Her sister on the other hand, who I have recently Googled, is doable.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:01, Reply)

I don't know
if they were both just people you knew, you would reckon they were alright looking, it's the fact that they are princesses that you think they should somehow be judged against a tougher scale.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Not really, I care little for royalty per se.
Beatrice is just wrong, maybe not really what you'd call ugly, but here eyes are wrong and she gives me The Fear, at least in pictures. Her sister is quite nice looking though and I would do her, and I have quite high, if some times odd, standards in this regard.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Her sister is at uni in Newcastle.
I am yet to see a story about her stumbling out of a bar and flashing her tits in the Bigg Market.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)

This isn't a story in Newcastle, that's why

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:24, Reply)

More's the pity.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:27, Reply)

No, I mean this happens all the time
i.e. it is not newsworthy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Top news in Guildford at the moment is about some doctor treating children with epilepsy.
He's been suspended for it, but the report doesn't say why. It just says that this doctor, a paediatrician, was suspended over concerns that he was treating children. Perhaps he's one of those paediatricians that aren't supposed to be treating children. I just don't know.

He was suspended in March. The news story is that the investigation should be completed soon. I'm sure we can all agree that this is exciting stuff. Especially since we don't know why it's taking place.

Guildford's a hotbed of treachery and deceit, dontchaknow.
( Kroney, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)

And loads of copper was nicked from the signalling again.
Thus fucking up travel to and from Guildford. No bad thing.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I don't expect the commuters noticed.
Trying to leave Guildford in the morning is always a complete cunt.
( Kroney, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:56, Reply)

You try to leave Guildford each morning?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:34, Reply)

On the streets it's known as 'Hotel California'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:47, Reply)

He's probably been suspeded for giving them epilepsy.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:45, Reply)

There is literally no news from round my way.
I just searched and the only results it brought up were obituaries.
(DeeDee, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)

We got hot and cold running water and inside toilets.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Oh, and our local dwarf got murdered.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Link?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:01, Reply)

www.morpethherald.co.uk/community/little_elvis_death_man_arrested_1_3713576

What the article fails to mention is that he was called Little Elvis because he was, in fact, a midget. It also fails to state that he was, despite his diminutive stature, a colossal cunt. The landlord in one of my locals told me on Friday that it was his brother who did him in.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:04, Reply)

HAHA
When I read his name I had to double take as it is very similar to one shared by a mutual friend of ours.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:07, Reply)

I thought that too!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)

3.30 on a Tuesday afternoon?
Did he have a day off work? The same as the bloke that stabbed him.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)

He didn't work.
He was what some people refer to as a 'professional gambler'. Or, as others might have it, a workshy, layabout cunt.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Salutary lesson right there, kiddiewinks.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)

He wasn't big, and he wasn't clever

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)

But with some coiled metal he could rock a woman's world
it was his Four Sprung Dwarf Technique....
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Dopey

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)

He also featured in this story:
www.b3ta.com/questions/banks/post484461/
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Lies on the internet.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Oh it's funny now, is it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:10, Reply)

I'm in a better mood today and thought I'd get in there first!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:22, Reply)

The big news story here
is a runner dying in the Bristol Half Marathon. Presumably not Al unless he is posting from beyond the grave
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)

We did see a few people having their legs held above their heads.
And I did have to lie down shortly after crossing the line. I believe it's what is known as "hitting the wall" a term I had previously believed to be one of those things runners make up as an excuse.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Bit like me walking up the stairs then

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)

Or on a Friday night.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:28, Reply)

The were probably just being shaken to see if any change fell out.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:46, Reply)

The Duchess of Cornwall turned up the other day to
help harvest some Lavender for some eco-bullshit hipster gardening scheme.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Oh wait! Sorry, 4 stabbings, 3 shootings,
girls being branded in gangs, on video and onto Youtube.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Branded?
Like cattle?

Do they do that shit?

What's wrong with tattoos?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:03, Reply)

They probably have the obligatory slag tags already.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I like slag tags.
Oddly.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Somewhere to aim for eh?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Something like that.
Slutty innit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)

oddly as you might expect, given where I choose to live.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Oof.
Lewisham is the object of your ire today.

Jealousy is so ugly.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Is Lewisham such a shithole?
Never been.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)

No more than the rest of SE London.
Well, maybe a bit more.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:25, Reply)

It couldn't be worse than North Manchester.
Fucking toilet.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I've been to Cheadle.
That was unpleasant.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Most of Stockport and the surrounding area is
I used to work in a nightclub there, you were guaranteed a fight every night. The women were more violent than the blokes.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)

It's just like Lewisham then.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)

I may visit Lewisham,
when I come down for next month's bash. And laugh at the chavs.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Meh, sorry, in a bad mood
I really do hate Lewisham though, it has a level of inbred grimness that I has yet to see equalled.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)

According to Wikipedia,
Danny Baker was born there.
Enough said.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)

That is the ultimate stat of shame.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:46, Reply)

This^
Fucking boring unfunny, fat, bald, hairy, short shite
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Peter The Great lived in Lewisham.
Hope this helps.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Humiliation I would imagine.
I would hazard a guess that they don't really want to be in them.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Our estate is a hotbed of news
My next door neighbours have split up. Also, there is a massive (i.e. small) campaign to stop any potential travellers from siting there as proposed by the council.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Bloody NIMBYs.
Where are the Romanies supposed to go if not your front lawn?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Lewisham?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Got some.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)

How could you tell?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:21, Reply)

They kept calling me "brother".
And drove Transit vans.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)

They can fuck right off
My house is worth a lot more than when I bought it and those theiving cunts will lose me money!

They can go back to Romany
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)

I hear you 'Cow.
But I think it's wrong of you to go harshing their human rights and shit, they just need a corner of your property to illegally build on and call home.

A small space on your sceptred isle where they can bury their stolen cars and defecate in margarine cartons.

It's not their fault, it's their WAY, you see. Their "lifestyle", as it were.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I hear ya

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:16, Reply)

There are plenty of motorway flyovers they can live underneath

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:18, Reply)

flyover
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)

They could do the tarmacing themselves!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Two birds
One stone.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Anorexic Twins

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Hahaha!
Classic.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:45, Reply)

i bet they made the slaves pull their traps once their horses had died

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I want one of these cats
www.newscientist.com/article/dn20896-glowing-transgenic-cats-could-boost-aids-research.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=online-news
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:25, Reply)

bastards.
I've only got embryonic stem cells with a GFP integrant. How come they're allowed whole cats?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:48, Reply)

I'd like to see glow in the dark spiders
so that all the woofters that are scared of them won't be able to sleep due the darting lights on the ceiling, floor and bed spread
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I'll get right on it.
unfortunately they don't really glow in the dark, just fluoresce under the right wavelength of UV, but baby steps, eh?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Can they not cross them with those plastic stars?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)

haha, yeah, why not? what's the good of being a mad scientist if you obey the rules of nature?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:55, Reply)

brundlefly concurs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:56, Reply)

ARGH!
That would be fucking horrible!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)

I like spiders

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:54, Reply)